Usually when stressed, i'll dress up and do some antic. A night as Captain Haddock provided only temporary relief.
Lucky there is the Haka.
After Weta delivered the last shot on the film, Spielberg called for a Video Conference Call with all involved in the film - Producer Peter Jackson (and Andy Serkis who were on set filming the Hobbit), Joe Letteri and the 4 other Visual Effects Supervisors, the Live Action producer and his cinema full of crew as well as a warehouse full of all 600 people on the Weta Digital crew. It really was unprecedented and a kind gesture from Steven. Needless to say, the entire animation department was amped to get up early the next morning and enjoy a little bubbly and breakfast and some final wise words from The 'Berg, hopefully a thank you too. :)
Im not Maori, Im mostly a white guy, with some italian edges; It therefore came as a surprise when i received an email the afternoon before the shindig from the world's leading monster stuntman and Weta's resident maori Shane Rangi asking if i was interested in performing the haka with a few others in this conference call celebration. "I'm in! How do you, err....Haka?" was all i replied.
It's customary here in NZ before a Rugby game for the players to perform this traditional Maori ancestral war cry, dance or challenge, a laying down of the gauntlet. You've probably seen the All Blacks perform it at some stage on their quest to world domination in the sport, if not, you're missing the pride of this little country.
I assume that was the idea, that Weta, or me and a few other Kiwi guys, would perform the Haka for Spielberg at the beginning of the call to give him a little taste of NZ culture and history - and probably also to demonstrate that it truly was an epic battle we fought to get his movie out.
That night i studied every clip on youtube i could of the All Blacks slapping their thighs, beating their chest and sticking their tongues out so far it made their eyes eerily vibrate and bulge; but to no avail, i wasn't learning the dance.
The next morning i got to the warehouse an hour early, donned a black singlet like the other 6 in the group and tried to copy their slaps and smacks and now and then mumble a few maori words i'd picked up from the youtube videos the night before. It was glaringly apparent in the first 30 seconds that my biceps were about 16 inches too thin and my teachers never taught me any form of Haka year after year in eledmentary grades or high school growing up. I suddenly regretted the 'heel and toe, heel and toe' square dance steps drilled into my head at Standiford's annual Class Dance Showcase from 1st to the 5th grades. Oh why couldn't my young chicken legs and beanpole arms learned something useful and practical in the 80's like the war cry of the Haka!?!
If you could be cut from volunteering i probably would have. Okay, it wasn't as bad as i'm making it out to be, they told me the haka is mostly be about heart and giving it all you got, but that wasn't too comforting with 600 of your co-workers standing behind you and when the red camera light turns on with a half dozen of Hollywood's elite on the other end staring blankly wondering why you're center frame when they thought they were to be conferencing with the entire tintin crew. Luckily, Shane, the 240lb wall of maori muscle, was dead center and snapped us into focus with is best and loudest blood curdling war cry - Kia rite! Kia ite!
Instantly the other 6 dropped into battle stance and soon followed the practiced slaps to the forearms, thighs, the miming of tearing off the enemies head and slitting their throat and finally the predestined victory poses. We each ended with our own signature war stance at the end, but since i never really developed one learning square dances i threw myself into the most heroic pose i could think of on th efly - IronMan firing his thrusters.' Thunderous applause! The 600 in the warehouse, the cinema with Producer Jason, PJ, Serkis - every golden statue winner was clapping emphatically for our haka.
Spielberg broke the applause first, "Honestly, I can't say i didn't feel that same way a few days on this production!" Then he went on to say how grateful he was and what a great job we did and that he looks forward to the 2nd one blah blah. I was stoked i got to shout at all the people that made my life hard the last 15 months, even more stoked getting closure to having steered the ship for animation for a director the likes Spielberg and most stoked i can now say -
"I did the haka for Steven Spielberg."
