So you might have heard the news…..(if not then proceed to the main page)….We’re Preggers! I wont rehash what happened because there is no way I could tell it better than my lovely pregnant wife has. The only thing she left out was that she did the pregnancy test after she woke up this morning and just before I was supposed to go to bed (I work nights). So I had the experience of trying to sleep while at the same time being excited beyond hell! When I woke up I got to thinking of the journey it took to get to this point. The year of trying naturally with month after month of negative results and ever increasing frustration, to the initial diagnosis, to the TESE…..Ahhhh yes, TESE.
My wife told you most of the story, but I thought I’d rehash some of it from my point of view for any men who may face it in the future….Begginning from the night before.
Let me begin by saying that not being able to drink before surgery SUCKS! I hydrate with water constantly. I have a 24 dollar thermos that I carry around with me always so that I’m never without cold water. It sits comfortably at my side while I type this post. 
Anyway…..Dory mentioned that I couldn’t sleep at all the night before which made not being able to drink all the more miserable. I considered swallowing my toothpaste while rinsing just to wet my throat. Believe it.
I finally got relief when the nurse at the hospital gave me some water to take with some pill to swallow pre-op. Before I know it I’m wearing a dress, blue booties, and a hair net which was funny considering that I shave my head and have no hair. I also accessorized with two nifty hospital bracelets one of which read “Fall Risk”.
After I’m ready for my close up I meet the team of medical experts that will be working on me…..I have to admit that after the third person introduced themselves as doctor I had a “Spies Like Us” moment and started saying “doctor” to everyone I met from there on in.
I’m then given my I.V. and what someone referred to a “liquid corona” to help me relax. Dory mentioned that she could visibly see when it took effect which was almost instantly. I was wheeled into the O.R. soon after and only remember being put on the table not much else.
Fast forward an hour or two later…..
I wake up and remember where I’m at. I’m thirsty and in PAIN. Going into the surgery I was told that the pain would feel like getting kicked in the boy’s. This felt more like getting hit with a wrecking ball wielded by an overworked and underpaid construction worker. Que the nurse who walks up and asks “are you in any pain” with a smile on her face. I respond in the affirmative as nicely as I can given the circumstances because I know that relief is hers to give. I don’t know what she gave me, but around a half hour later it kicked in enough to meet my wife and go home (See Dory’s Aug. 13th post). Getting dressed was interesting considering I had no sense of equilibrium and was wearing a jock strap filled to the brim with gauze.
Recovery:
After making it home I went straight to bed after a slight detour to vomit. After sleeping most of the day I awoke to that familiar feeling of pain…you know the kind of pain that occurs after a doctor takes a scalpel to your genitals? I was lucky enough however to have had friends go and fill my prescriptions while i was sleeping. My doctor wrote four. An antibiotic, anti-inflammatory, one for nerve pain, and best of all….Oxycodine. For me one was not enough. After the first dose didn’t do much for me, I waited with baited breath for when I was able to take my next dose 6 hours later. Two pills put me in the zone.
With my pain under control I was able to move from the bed room to the recovery suite….a.k.a., the living room. We pulled out the sofa bed the night before and this is where I would spend the majority of my time whilst healing up.
Because of the anesthesia I wasn’t very hungry but managed to get some good ole chicken noodle soup down with some Gatorade.
I was also given an ice pack. A quick word for those going to have the TESE…..GET AN ICE PACK! The best purchase by far in preparing for the surgery was an ice pack. Dory picked one up for around five dollars but to me it was worth double it’s weight in gold.
The next week was spent in a bit of a narcotic induced haze of laying on the sofa bed watching netflix via the Xbox. I wont lie, we watched the whole series of “Avatar: The last Airbender.
The next thing you can expect after a TESE is the lack of a bowel movement. I waited almost five days before taking a stool softener to wake my system up again. I recommend maybe starting a day or two earlier lest you want to feel badly constipated.
Sleeping was interesting. I was only able to lie on my back for a week after the surgery. Pillows under either the legs or pelvis makes things a bit more comfortable but after a few days you just become stiff from lying in one position for so long.
The only other complication I had while recovering was mad heartburn from laying down so much.
I was able to work my way off the heavy pain medication after about five days by reducing the dosage from two to one and eventually switching to 4 Advil (at the advise of my nurse).
Two weeks later I’m getting ready to go back to work. I still have some discomfort, and the wound isn’t fully healed, but the stitches are starting to come out and I can walk and stand without feeling nauseous or painful.
Best advise I can give is to stay hydrated, take your meds, and REST. Don’t try to start walking around immediately. You’ll just end up hurting yourself.
Good luck to all of you who are going through this. In the end I know it was worth it and would do it again without question.
Based on what Dory and I learned today however, it looks as if I may not need to.
Just Keep Swimming 
