Tuesday, October 3, 2023
Waning Moon
Pluto, Saturn, Neptune, Chiron, Uranus, Jupiter Retrograde
Foggy and dark (hey, it’s early; it’s supposed to be a nice day later)
My flash fiction story “Lavender” is out in the New Zealand-based FLASH FRONTIER:
The link brings you to the title page. You can click the title/my name, and it will take you right down to it.
Today’s serial episode is from Legerdemain:
Episode 125: Discussing the Spread of Discord
Shelley and Braziel deal with the mess.
Lots of catching up to do today!
Friday morning, I worked in studio. I had the whole building to myself for the first few hours. I did a lot of pacing and muttering, using the whole shared space, along with my studio space. The rain and wind got quite ferocious at one point, and I appreciated being in a sturdy, industrial building.
Our group project is inspired by our member Nancy Edelstein’s installation last year, “Pray for Sun.” Looking at the photos of the installation on her website, two in particular stand out for me; one with sun creating patterns through four tall panes of glass; the other a much darker, black and white industrial window, again three tall ones.
I think each will inspire a different poem. At least one of them, I think, will take what I learned in workshop about where words are placed on the page and play with that idea. Columns. Points of view? Different voices? A conversation between shadow and light?
I wasn’t sure on Friday, but I played with it.
Thursday afternoon, when I was too tired to create anymore, I submitted a play and I sent a pitch to a place that wants to hire writers to prepared audition monologues for actors, Since that’s how I got into writing plays in the first place, I pitched. And got a demand (it was sure as hell not a request) for a “one way interview.”
You know where you can put that “interview.”
I don’t do one-way interviews, because any talk of working together needs to be a conversation. Also, a “one-way video interview” is yet another form of unpaid labor as part of the interview process. I broke down how much that is in an actual cost over on Ink-Dipped Advice.
As much as I would have kicked ass in that job, it’s not the right fit. I’m not an actor; I don’t audition.
Friday, I played with the shadow & light poem. While I did that, I also played with the fabric wall art piece, adding words in different colors and beads. My fellow poets took a trip to the Clark to see the Munch exhibit, which is why I wanted to share the excerpt of the play inspired by the painting before they went.
Working with the words was a struggle. I have craft and structure questions. Rather than workshopping the piece itself, I decided to use Friday’s workshop session to ask questions and get guidance on craft.
How do I get the stanzas in conversation with each other? I want to do them in columns, the way Nancy played with columns of light.
I also printed out the program for the reading, which was harder than it should have been with flipping pages and making sure the inside was the the right side up, but at least I’d already made friends with the printer, so it wasn’t too bad. And, in this studio building, we had a laser printer, so it looks good.
By the time Nancy, whose work inspired the group project came in (her studio is next to mine), I had already had a half a dozen conversations with her in my head. I showed her the images I printed out. We talked a bit about what she was trying to do with the space in her installation, and it dovetails nicely with the ideas I had about creating the poem. Not that I had any idea HOW to create it yet, but I tried. I looked for a bunch of words with different shades of meaning and made lists, and wrote up my questions.
I got the second of this week’s Legerdemain’s episodes polished and uploaded, and did the episode graphics and loglines. My colleagues were in-studio then, so I didn’t work on the videos; I didn’t want to make noise.
I named my five fictional women, inspired by my Playland Painters.
Lunch was fun. The food was good, and we had a good chat. They loved the Munch exhibit, and found it inspiring.
We went back in-studio. I got a little more work done, and then I hit the point of “what are words?” so I spent some quality time on the acupressure mat reading Mary Oliver’s book about the craft of poetry, and some time reading Anne Truitt’s journals.
At 4 o’clock we trooped over to the other building for workshop. Again, everybody’s work is so cool! The scope and depth and engagement is wonderful. It was so exciting. What I love is how everyone gets really into the precision and how word choice and sonics change things. I am learning so much.
I asked my craft questions, and they all encouraged me to just dive right in, so that’s what I planned.
I did not go to dinner with everyone. I went home.
My mom was so funny. “Why aren’t you out with your friends?” She asked. “I still have left over spaghetti and meatballs from Grazie.”
After dinner, I baked the orange cranberry muffins, and then I did the apricot white chocolate gluten free bars.
Took my shower and went to bed early. Slept until about 3:30, when Charlotte woke me up. Stayed in bed until the alarm went off at 4:30. Made breakfast, did the dishes, packed everything I needed for the reading and headed out.
I was in-studio by 6 AM (maybe a little before). I got set up. I reworked the radio script pages I planned to bring in that afternoon.
I worked on the “Penumbra” poem about light and shadow, inspired by Nancy’s work. I got the light section and the shadow section done, in two different word placement formats. The third stanza, which brings them together visually and verbally, wasn’t where I want it on either level, but it’s a start, and I planned to keep working on it more before I brought it in on Sunday.
I also did the first couple of pages/first section of the comic mystery poem, “Lucy Debussy and the Mystery of the Old Mill.” Again, no idea what I’m doing, but I’m having fun.
I did vocal exercises. No one else was in-studio, so I made full use of the space, stretching, rehearsing, doing vocal warmups. I ended up rewriting “Quicksand” and cutting some stuff so the jokes can land better.
I drove stuff over to the bookshop and unloaded. We had a bit of a late start and more setup than expected, but we got it all done.
We had a decent turnout, although smaller than expected, and I was annoyed that some of the people who’d promised me they would come (and to whose events I have steadily turned up) did not. But one of my good friends did, and that made up for it! And some of the young poets in the regular writers’ circle that meets at the bookshop were there, and that was fun.
Everyone’s work was vibrant and interesting. Having Nancy’s video about her work in the middle was also great, because it gave the audience something different on a sensory level, and then the attention went back to the words.
It was fun talking to everyone after. I bought a copy of each poet’s book who had books there. We talked to the young writers, and basically to everyone in the audience.
We packed up. I put my car in the lot behind Big Y, and took the leftover baked goods back to the studio.
It was lunch time by then. We had lunch upstairs in the mezzanine space. Mine was disappointing. I’d ordered a BLT and it was pretty lame. I only ate about 1/3 of it.
I had the adrenalin crash. I’ve been so worried for weeks that something would happen to derail the reading. But we pulled it off; we had fun, the audience had fun, the owner was pleased and would like us back next year. Also, because I personally do not enjoy reading, I was glad it was over! Now I could kick back and socialize for the rest of the residency (during appropriate socialization hours).
After lunch was a bit of decompression time before workshop time. I did a little bit of work on “Penumbra” and “Lucy Debussy” but in the hard copy versions. I didn’t want to boot up the computer.
I read Anne Truitt’s DAYBOOK again, and found this wonderful quote on p. 178: “The most demanding part of living a lifetime as an artist is the strict discipline of forcing oneself to work steadfastly along the nerve of one’s own most intimate sensitivity.”
That really resonated.
Headed over for the workshop. Again, the variety and breadth of everyone’s work was terrific. I brought in the opening of the slow-burn atmospheric radio play, and the comments were very helpful (and they all wanted to know what came next). They kept reading “SFX Owls” as “Sex Owls” so that became a running joke over the next few days.
I worry sometimes that I don’t give useful enough feedback because I don’t know the language of the form, But I try, and I’m learning.
After workshop, I gathered my things and the snacks took them over to the apartment. I saw the room I would have lived in this week, had I stayed over. And it’s nice! The whole apartment is lovely.
Most of us went out to dinner at Blue Mango in Williamstown, a Thai/Japanese place. We had the sweetest waiter! What a lovely, lovely man. The food is outstanding. Definitely someplace to which I would go back. Good conversation, too.
We came back to the apartment, and a bunch of us hung out and talked. It was fun.
I got home a little before 11, switched out what I needed to in my bag, showered, and went to sleep.
All 3 cats waited in a row at the top of the stairs when I got home, with their little mad faces on.
Hard to haul myself out of bed on Sunday morning, but I did it.
It just tickles me that people put out chairs for the parade overnight on Saturday and they were still there on Sunday! It cracked me up. I can’t think of that happening in a city like New York or whatever.
Chatted with the security guard when I got in. They’re so nice.
Set up and discovered that “Lavender” was published. Sent the link to my cohort here, and did the copies for my Clip file. If I don’t do that right away, I forget, and then I have to scramble when I need them.
Drafted an episode of Legerdemain. It was originally envisioned to be a lot of play on words/double entendres, but it’s turned out to be a more straightforward episode. I have to build the next few episodes to see if that will work, or I need to go back to the original concept.
I worked and reworked and reworked “Penumbra.” I was stuck, and I looked forward to workshopping it and getting feedback on what the hell I do next? Because I had no damn idea.
I went over to the museum to ask about the temporary membership card, and they had nothing there. Which is fine; we still have a few days to sort it out. I stopped at Tunnel City Coffee to get a hot chocolate. The paintings on the wall were a familiar style – turns out they are Jane Hudson’s! I had her tarot deck in my studio, and here were her paintings on the walls! Love it.
Ran into some of my fellow poets sitting in the sun, and we had a nice chat.
Came back to the studio and did some work. I went down a rabbit research hole with Playland. I also wrote some background on my fictional Painters. I named them a few days ago; now, I sat and stared at the photos and started creating characters based on the poses – some playful, some shy, some whatever. Creating their characters will help me create the story. I think I will go back to my first instinct about writing about them and the park as mysteries, with humor, but also with a darker side about the social and cultural aspects.
We had lunch outside, because it was such a beautiful day, although we were bothered by wasps. We talked through publication options one of the poets currently faces with her new book.
Printed out two different versions of “Penumbra” – not in the words themselves, but how they were arranged on the page. Again, workshop was great. Several people presented work they’ve done in-studio this week, so there was a lot of experimentation and play, which is beautiful.
They were very interested and supportive about my mess of “Penumbra” and the feedback gave me a lot to work on. I’m going to keep playing with it. Yes, I realize that means building time to play with it past residency. But I’m going to keep working on it.
We decided to do our own takeouts for dinner. I grabbed my favorite chicken lo mein from Meng’s Pan Asian (which is practically next door to the apartments) and ate in the kitchen, as people drifted in.
We had our planning meeting for next year: what we needed from the experience, our priorities, dividing up tasks so no one person has so much on their plate that they can’t fully enjoy the residency experience. We all want to come back next year, and even have our dates. Everyone wants to do their bit to make it all happy and easy for all of us, which is part of what makes this special. We are invested in this being a Collective.
Headed home, switched things out of the bag. Charlotte waited for me right behind the door, I didn’t know it, and she got tapped by the door as I opened it, and was very upset. Tessa had A Lot To Tell me. Willa just wanted to be petted.
Took my shower, went to bed, fighting the beginnings of a migraine.
The smoke alarm went off at 3:30, because the downstairs neighbor smoked in front of my door and set it off.
Got settled back in until 4:30. Up and out of the house and in-studio by 6. Had trouble settling in to work. I was trying to write my way through something or other, and it wasn’t working. I felt scattered and weepy. Scattered is understandable; weepy is not.
I worked and reworked the opening of the “Lucy Debussy” mystery poem. I’m only sharing about a page and a half. I want to make sure I’m on the right track before I keep going.
I did some noodling of ideas around the Playland Painters story.. But it was a struggle. I’m trying to figure out if I’m going to drop the first body in the Fun House, in Laff in the Dark, in the Witch’s Forest, or hang it off the roller coaster. It’s a big decision!
This week contains a lot of change, and I don’t think I’m ready for it.
Walked over to Big Y, because we were out of bread and coffee at home, and couldn’t wait until the residency was over.
I went to the museum, bought some postcards (I’m going to send my friend one), and Erik Kessels FAILED IT! about how mistakes are creative opportunities.
I spent a lot of time in the Boiler House again, with the camera (not the one on my phone). I took a lot of photos. Got a cappuccino on the way back, and picked up a card for the Working Weavers studio trail in a few weeks.
Downloaded all the photos from my camera into the computer. Printed out some of my favorite ones and pinned them to the wall.
Got an email from Bill Yehle to confirm that I have a slot in the Oct. 15 Poets in Conversation about “Work”. Looking at those equipment/industrial/rusting photographs from the Boiler House got those wheels turning.
I have something else connected to those photos that wants to be born, but I’m not yet sure what it is. It needs to simmer for a bit, and decide what it wants to be.
Nancy invited everyone over to her studio to show them what she’s been working on, and gave us a demonstration of the press she’s been using to emboss. It was fascinating!
We had lunch outside again. Another group headed off to the Boiler House. I stopped at the R & D store – the clerk recognized me from the author event the other day. I bought a book of “SPELLS – 21ST CENTURY OCCULT POETRY” which is a really great anthology.
Sat and stared at the photographs. Worked on the first two stanzas of “Work” for the reading on the 15th. We’ve talked a lot about the sonics of poems, and I want to play more with language and sound. I did some of that in the Lucy Debussy rewrite.
Our final workshop session was good. Again, people were playing. We have a safe space to try new things. One of the most fascinating and wonderful things is how we will all ponder and poke around a specific word to find out if there’s a better one. I mean, that happens to a point in prose, but there tend to be a lot more words, and the weight can be spread around a little more. Poems distill image and emotion and story and theme in a limited amount of very specific words. But there’s something really joyful about the care and attention everyone takes in helping each other find the right word with the right nuance.
The feedback on “Lucy Debussy” is very helpful. Some want it to be prose; I still want to see if I can learn enough craft to pull it off as a poem.
We went to dinner at the Craft Food Barn and ate outside. I had the Cuban Panini, which was just as good as it sounds. I was also introduced to the joy of the mocha sundae.
Sadly, I was also bitten by a mosquito on my forehead and wound up with a welt the size of a golf ball.
We went back to the apartments, spread out snacks, poured wine, talked, and did a round of poem sharing. They were funny and poignant and wonderful. Most shared two; I only shared one. I’d forgotten the print version, but I’d read it over a few times in-studio in the afternoon, so I was able to do it from memory.
I was home a little after ten, did the usual turnaround of the bag, making coffee, the showers.
Hard to drag myself out of bed this morning. Got in-studio a little after 6. The lock on my door stuck, and I worried that my last morning there, and I couldn’t get in! But I jiggled it and did.
I’m trying to get some writing done. I’ll pack up the studio in bits. I could just strike the whole thing around noon, in about twenty minutes (never let anyone tell you what you learn in theatre is not relevant to life). But I think I’ll write a bit, pack up the meditation/painting corner, write a bit, pack up the books, and so on.
I hate taking down the inspiration wall. But this experience is complete. I need time to figure out what I’ve learned, and how to use it moving forward.
And to cherish the experience.
Shorter post tomorrow, I promise!
Ink In My Coffee 
