1/21/24

What a topsy-turvy week! I woke up with a miserable cold Monday, so was glad for the day off to sleep in, and then make homemade chicken noodle soup.  Felt enough better by Tuesday to start getting things done, and then we had a snow day on Wednesday! I thought I'd have all day to read, but I didn't pick up my book once just getting little things done here and there, making sourdough, and homemade seed crackers Stacey exposed us to, and then having to fix the wiring in the vacuum after it sucked up a rug!  We had basketball games Tues and Thurs, and Anne dressed for JV (& played a bit!) after her sophomore games.  I just had quick RS visits Tues night, fun book group Wed night, and then! spent Friday so mad at what I thought was our dumb "smart" thermostat not getting our house warm!  that I decided to switch it out with a traditional one, only to have THAT also not work! Took a quick break for library story time, then tried everything else I could think of or find before finally calling HVAC help before we got stuck in a cold weekend! Though I was mad I didn't conquer it like the victorious vacuum, it all turned out for the good.  Grandma had just mentioned the day before that they have a contract for getting their heating/a/c serviced every year, & I thought, "Which other class on being an adult did I skip, not to know about that?!" And when I called to have someone check on our furnace, they were going to charge so much just to drive here, but when we looked at other options, it turned out cheaper to just call it a service call, which included the drive in the price, and if we agreed to 2 visits for the year (one heat, one a/c) it was even cheaper! So we got the furnace taken care of AND I grew up! Turns out I had just blown a fuse, which was no charge, plus they cleaned everything out (which may have been causing the problem in the first place), the smart thermostat got a 2nd chance, and they even solved the fireplace switch not working before they left--Hooray!  Dad & I just drove to Logan for date night dinner, and have been loving "All Creatures Great and Small" (well, I love it, and he doesn't mind it).  After some really freezing days starting in the negatives, it's warmed up enough yesterday that we've had rain! I ran yesterday before taking the girls to orchestra and got in the temple for a bit, came home for Anne's driving test, had a break, then took Anne & Lucy to Lucy's Ogden indoor soccer game right before Anne's SLC tennis tournament until 10 PM.  Long night, but low-stress when Dad is at home to get Seth to bed.  Dad & I had fun subbing Jane's primary class today.  I have a really horrible time seeing my strengths sometimes, and I was particularly down today feeling so inept and discouraged, BUT I also know this is a weakness of mine, and not an accurate view.  As I was working through that, the kids were learning the Primary song about Nephi's courage, and the last verse when it said, "Sometimes I am tempted to choose another way--when I'm discouraged and think I cannot try, I will be courageous, and I will reply: I will go, I will do..." I have really had to learn that getting down on myself is my worst version of temptation, and hearing those words like that was like a message to God from me that HE sees my strengths and goodness, and that He wants to (& will) help me get through those discouraged feelings.  It's not automatic, but it's easier knowing it's my emotions that are out of whack than a whole list of failings I need to work on! Emily seems to be settling into sweaty Santiago! They saw a Chilean ballet in the park, visited a century old fortress, helped in hospitals, English classes, and FSY meetings, made some friends at Institute, and had fun swimming and eating great food.  Brent's starting to get more job interviews lined up, and Jane & I are halfway through reading Harry Potter together! Hope your week is as at least as good as last week! Love you so much! Love, Mom

1/14/24

Dad: BIRTHDAY! we fun celebrating last weekend with a cousin's dinner here (and enough black forest cherry cake to last all week!) AND Lucy got braces the day before that!!! She was so happy when the soreness wore off after about 3 days! Lucy: BRACES!! Anne: basketball w/ secret weekends of tennis (don't tell bball Coach) Jane: BEST IMPROVED Reading scores in her class!!!! (we've been reading Harry Potter at night) Seth: "Don't tell anyone, but I'm the best fighter in the world" Also wants to dye his hair red and blue Emily: Made it to Chile!!! and wishing for the A/C that was promised in her apt!! I hate goodbyes, but am SO excited for her adventuring B&B: bought a minivan! Lily: now says "Grama" and "Gampa" Mom: enjoying slow of winter after a Christmas so busy I thought my brain would explode (or it did--still deciding) Weather: SNOW, SNOW, AND MORE SNOW!!! I had the scariest trip I've ever known between home and Logan bringing Anne back from her basketball game Thursday night. The wind was blowing SO HARD I had to turn on my hazards at one point where I couldn't see any cars in front of me or where the mountain road was with all the white blowing EVERYwhere until a semi came at me head on! It was pretty terrifying for a bit! Then today they canceled all of our meetings except sacrament meeting (which was almost empty!) so we could all help clear snow for people not to be snowed in! I spent one long day trying to catch up on pictures (so Seth could be in SOME photo books on our shelves!), Emily and I helped a single sister who just had knee surgery clean her moved out of apartment (Emily is getting to be a pro at that since she just did it herself!), and I drove a van full of ward friends down to clean the temple late Friday night. When Anne's not doing her own sports, she's watching other people, like boys' basketball or wrestling. Lucy has been at play practice until dinner every night, so it will be good to have this 3 day weekend! Dad's foot is doing great: he got his stitches out and started physical therapy this week. He was relieved to have things resolved on Monday too, from the distempered defense attorney who filed complaints against him for assault(?!!!) and being high in court(?!!!) on Dad's first day back to work after the break/his surgery. Of course everything was outrageously false, but they still have to investigate every complaint, and that meant Dad was home from work for 3 days (Happy Birthday!), and even knowing he was innocent, it was hard not to get a bit stressed that something could go wrong. We're grateful to be on the other side of that one! Also connected with the other Elder Duncan's mom this week! Love you so much!! Love, Mom

1/7/24

Sorry to not have written much over the break, but it was great being able to visit with you so much more. Sure hope you're feeling better by now. Miraculously, we were ALL together and healthy for Christmas!!--(and have since all taken turns with colds). Dad had his ankle surgery Wed before Christmas, and school was only a halfday that day. Thursday, the drugs were working well enough for Dad (they sent him home with an awesome balloon of blocking medication cathetered into the back of his knee), that I took Lucy in the van down to Provo to move Emily out of her apartment and see Maddie & Brian's new one. Maddie's family came up the next day after a few car delays, then Saturday we all went to the jump zone together (I don't know who had more fun --the kids or adults!), and then did a quick shopping trip for a family that needed a little anonymous Christmas help. I loved having Christmas Eve on Sunday--chance to gather as a ward, then be together as a family. We had the Harris's join us for dinner since Diana was in Mexico, and I tried a new (selfishly, everything I wanted to eat!) menu for dinner of lobster bisque, salad, salmon, couscous, roasted sweet potatoes, and cranberry white chocolate cheesecake before acting out the nativity and then joining in with your mission zoom call. Maddie's family opened presents with us Christmas morning before heading down to the other grandparents, and we enjoyed a quiet/lazy day! The rest of the break was full of fun game playing, cheering Anne on at basketball, and so much good food. I replaced our microwave and took Dad to his follow up visit where everything looked great. He seems to be healing well, and it's been fast healing since he could put weight on it after all. Testimony meeting was so filling today. Almost every person that spoke rang echoes of things in my own heart---I really wish we did a lot more "Amen"ing and "Hallelujah"s spontaneously in our meetings, because that's what I'm feeling! My own testimony that I just shared pieces of in SS and with Diana catching up after church was that God works miracles in our brokenness. I was so excited to be back to Book of Mormon this year, and was impatient when I saw the first lesson just on the introductory pages! BUT-- it was good to remember that it took a process to get TO the Book of Mormon. That it was Joseph, who himself felt lost, and yearning, and seeking that led to the TOTALLY UNEXPECTED First Vision, which led to Moroni preparing him FOR FOUR YEARS to receive the plates---that the best miracles are such a process and take a lot of time and process and effort. I appreciated being reminded that perfect solutions are rarely plopped down in finished states right when we need them, but that problems and struggles that turn us to pleading and seeking God bring miracles. My patriarchal blessing has a line that says "Avoid discouragement, for discouragement is a tool of the devil." I've always thought that was a solid truth, but lately I've really seen how it applies to me personally and how I buckle under pressure pretty easily. I HATE disappointments and my weaknesses and setbacks, and I tend to want to give up easily, so it's been good for me to realize, not just that it's good form to avoid discouragement, but that I PERSONALLY, need to make sure I work at that. Seeing that struggles and setbacks and even tragedies are not the end of the story, but can actually be bridges to greatness has helped me push back against discouragement. We send Emily off to Santiago this Thursday, and Dad only has one more week of his ankle boot, so exciting things ahead! I got to help the sister missionaries with a lesson last night, and even though there were many funny/awkward moments, I came away FLOODED with how much love God has for all His children. Hope you're feeling that love too, even with awkward & uncomfortable days. Love you SO SO MUCH! Love, Mom PS--Layton and Sophie had their sweet baby girl Sutton right before Christmas! SO HAPPY!!

12/17/23

Oh, this time of year can be overwhelming--overwhelmed at all I want to do, overwhelmed at all the needs around us, and overwhelmed at how good life can be. This week I was 1-overwhelmed with a cold (and no time for being sick!) I pretended it was mild the first few days,--we had Jane's birthday to celebrate on Monday--with Happy Meal lunch, a trip to pick out her gift of a pet hermit crab, then stroganoff and lemon bars dinner!! But I finally took a real rest day on Wed, which actually helped me catch up with a bunch of phone/computer tasks, and was doing much better by Thursday. After so many off-beat days, I was easily overwhelmed keeping up with the little things at home. I felt like I had beer goggles on while I tried to clean the kitchen--I don't know WHY cleaning can be such a challenge for me when I LOVE to have things organized!! 2-overwhelmed with all the ways I want to help. With inflation, higher rent, and not much higher pay, there are a lot of families in our ward who have needed Christmas help, so I've been praying not to forget anyone as the ward has organized to helped people with food, gift cards, and other needs. I also keep thinking of your far away Christmas (and no candy for the countdown calendar!) and have felt so out of touch with 8 children, wondering how I'll ever be a mom that can keep up when my heart really, really wants to be in every detail of every person! We also last minute picked a neighbor to do the 12 days of Christmas for (don't ask how many I've already forgotten!--it really keeps up the mystery that way!) 3-overwhelmed at shopping/returns; I had so much to return to the store the other day from online shopping attempts, the clerk asked, "How did you carry all this in???" Also, who wouldn't be overwhelmed shopping for a hermit crab? It's only fallen behind the dresser once in one week 🫣 4-overwhelmed at keeping Seth occupied, as he sneaks right to the computer or TV any spare chance he gets to watch Mario tutorials or play Roblox. We've read a lot of books this week (there is a library challenge that keeps him motivated!), he's practiced drawing letters on paper or in pans of rice, and he LOVES drawing/making things 5-overwhelmed at how blessed we are--cozy house with cozy lights and food and Christmas movies. I cleaned out the freezer last week, so I could pick up our cow this year, and I had just bought 40 lbs of chicken on a great sale, so our freezer is PACKED, and while so many struggle, our cup is SO FULL. Dad even found out his cost of living raise is more significant than he feared, so that is a huge blessing, after feeling overwhelmed about never saving up enough for carpet or a new piano. We also had a huge surprise when we went in to add Lucy's line for her phone (for Christmas). Not only were they having a BOGO special, so we went ahead and got a future line for Jane, BUT for every line we got, we could trade in an old phone for an upgrade, so Dad & I were able to get new phones, putting the girls (and your potential phone) in much more reliable shape--I almost fell over that it was real! (and then got overwhelmed again trying to transfer and get used to a new phone again--I may have cried a minute--just ridiculous!) 6-overwhelmed at people--they are SO GOOD, and fill my heart up in ways I can't even hope for. My presidency feels like a therapy session, they are so balancing and loving and full of grace and good. Talks with family--you kids or Grandma, or siblings stretches out my strength to keep going, and friends have ways of showing up right in the moment I need them most. Diana (stake YW Diana) knocked on the door Wed morning (my sick rest day where I was still in sweats & glasses). She had accidentally locked her dog (well, one of them) in the church (don't even ask her if there are rules about dogs in churches) AND her keys were in there, so could I help her open it? Seth & I jumped in her truck, saved Otis, found tablecloths for ANOTHER ward party, and climbed up to the attic one more time to pull out those Christmas trees again. I was laughing so hard, it's probably what cured my cold. Anne's madrigal friends came over 2 days for the happiest, yummiest, sweetest lunches this week---making brownies and homemade fries, and being so fun and delightful. Diana took time for a quick visit after church today before she leaves for Mexico. Laura dropped by her amazing baking (even though she doesn't eat dessert), Joan sent a message at just the moment I felt lonely, and Aimee texted me yesterday, "Can I help you with anything? Are you feeling OVERWHELMED?" HOW did she know that was just the word running through my head through all my meditations? I am SOOO blessed with so many good people that all make me feel closer to Heaven---Victor Hugo's line, "To love another person is to see the face of God" also makes me think, "To BE LOVED by another person is to see the face of God" 7-overwhelmed at Jesus-- I LOVE this Christmas time and thinking of Him so much more. We started celebrating Advent (the 4 Sundays before Christmas) this year by lighting candles on a wreath (I didn't have time to get a wreath, so I ripped branches off of the pine tree at the middle school) and reading scriptures and singing songs anticipating Christ's coming. (mostly there is fighting about who gets to blow out the candle and all the unfairnesses of life, but if you plug your ears, it's not bad). Getting to hear the Tabernacle Choir concert felt like choirs of angels. I took the girls Thursday night (I am a SLC parking disaster, but we made it), AND went with Dad Friday where we met up with Emily and her recently returned mission companion, and we ALSO ran into my Miller cousins!! (I really worried I might get arrested for being so lucky!) Even though I knew it was coming the 2nd night, when that choir burst forth the Ode to Joy from Beethoven's 9th, I gasped into my tears---it was SO BREATHTAKING, and to have the whole place lit up at the end with a combined number of "Angels in their Realms of Glory" made me feel like we could touch Heaven. But even here at home, it happened again as we went to the Garland Messiah Singalong tonight, and got to stand joining in the Hallelujah chorus with everyone. Music just brings to life so many feelings I can't put words to, and how real it makes that promise Elder Uchtdorf worded, "God will do unimaginable things" because His goodness is beyond all of our expectations. Thinking of you so much more at this Christmas time, and SO sorry my piddly efforts at sending you something for Christmas won't get there until January, even if you do say you don't need anything. Love you so so much, Mom ps--also Anne's bball, Lucy's school dance with the funniest/most stiff photo shoot ever, curtain bangs for the girls! (which makes Jane look like the parent trap Sharon to me!)