elusivek: (yay! (Trucey))
I know there are certain things I wanted to write about. I even had the thought, "I should write this tonight," but... I've forgotten what it is about, darn it. I recall as much that one of the things I want to write about has something to do with cars, or driving. Just what did I want to write about?

I've been so lazy lately, I haven't ran for 2 weeks now. It comes and goes with my mood, you see. I've done as much as bringing my gym bag to work so I'll see it and remember to get changed before going home, so that, I can go for a run, but then I think... nah... I do have one virtual run lined up for March, and the thing in Geongju, South Korea in April... oh I did register for the Shanghai Marathon but I didn't manage to get drawn in the lot.
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So we finally had that birthday lunch. Coming to think of it, my cousin hasn't paid me yet. huh. I'll have to double check. My Aunt said she wanted to invite her friend (someone that I didn't know either) and that she's more than happy to pay for the guy. I wouldn't have minded any way but I didn't know if cousin wanted to bear the cost. In any case, Aunt hasn't paid back either.
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So I know we're eligible for an annual bonus thingamajig and I've been in the lookout for a new travel backpack. I do have one currently, but I think it's too big; for my trip to Geongju, it's on a budgt airline. I paid for check in luggage, but did not pay for a hand-carry, but it did say one free personal item (handbag or something)... my current backpack is a little too big. Found this interesting looking one, but I still want to see the actual item before buying. It costs a bit of a pretty penny (for a backpack) so it will be a little gift for myself from the bonus.
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A couple months back, when the visiting artist was in town doing supervision work at the workshop I go to, I saw her very pretty apron and asked her where she got it. She said it's from The Walking Apron. I looked it up and oooh, it costs a pretty penny too, but it gives very good coverage. After much ruminating, I got one for myself and am going to gift one to my bestie. I also used an iron patch and ironed a racoon peaking out from the pocket. That's because she has been buying clothes from a particular website that has cute racoons in the design. I also got one for myself and put a cat there (to denote "Kat").
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We went hunting for good naan bread (I still can't forget the good naan I had in Japan)... still doesn't compare to the one I had in Japan. But, Justindia is pretty good. I think taste-wise it's better than Woodlands. I find Woodlands too herb-y and spice-y.
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Still bringing Frankie out to Coloane once in a while. The most recent time, there were some wild dogs and again for unknown reasons, Frankie didn't bother with them. I wonder why.
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elusivek: (books)
IwanttodiebuteatTteokbokki I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki: Conversations with My Psychiatrist
Baek Sehee
Amazon Product Link

The New York Times bestselling therapy memoir translated by International Booker shortlistee Anton Hur.

PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you?

ME: I don't know, I'm-what's the word-depressed? Do I have to go into detail?

Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her-what to call it?-depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work, but the effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like?

Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book,I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is the first book in a duology to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness.

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I was really looking forward to this book, but apparently it was just transcripts of her (her?) sessions with the therapist. By the end of the book there are essays/paragraphs of different topics. I’m disappointed, sorry to say.

Manicure day

Friday, 23 January 2026 19:16
elusivek: (all warm and fuzzy <3)
It was time to sort out my nails as I'm planning to work on clay at the workshop tomorrow, so I went for a manicure. That's around 5 weeks of growth.
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I'm still liking what they call the cat's eyes style. It's not just a plain colour and has an interesting shine depending on which angle you look at them.
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My "Car park" cats. I can touch and sometimes pick up the black and white one now. The other one though, still skittish around me, but the bloody cat would sharpen her nails on my shoes!
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Just this morning, my Mom saw me taking some supplements. She said "I read an article, you're so young, you shouldn't take so many supplements."

I replied, "when I'm not taking supplements you say I should take supplements. When I'm taking supplements you say I'm taking too much supplements. Make up your mind."

She goes "I never told you to take supplements."

And that is bullshit. If you read an article and changed your mind, fine, it's fine by me, just be honest about it. Do not try to gaslight me and say you never told me to take supplements. She's been in my hair about bone and cartilage and bone supplements, and some other sharp brain thing that she's taking for SO MANY YEARS.

I've studied the supplements I'm taking and after a long time of trial and error, those are the supplements that I know work for me, so I'll continue. I don't even take that many, it just looked that many this morning because today I wanted to take some extra probiotics as I was feeling bloated and wanted to get my bowels moving.
elusivek: (books)
Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism
Amanda Montell
Amazon Product Link

What makes “cults” so intriguing and frightening? What makes them powerful? The reason why so many of us binge Manson documentaries by the dozen and fall down rabbit holes researching suburban moms gone QAnon is because we’re looking for a satisfying explanation for what causes people to join—and more importantly, stay in—extreme groups. We secretly want to know: could it happen to me? Amanda Montell’s argument is that, on some level, it already has . . .

Our culture tends to provide pretty flimsy answers to questions of cult influence, mostly having to do with vague talk of “brainwashing.” But the true answer has nothing to do with freaky mind-control wizardry or Kool-Aid. In Cultish, Montell argues that the key to manufacturing intense ideology, community, and us/them attitudes all comes down to language. In both positive ways and shadowy ones, cultish language is something we hear—and are influenced by—every single day.

Through juicy storytelling and cutting original research, Montell exposes the verbal elements that make a wide spectrum of communities “cultish,” revealing how they affect followers of groups as notorious as Heaven’s Gate, but also how they pervade our modern start-ups, Peloton leaderboards, and Instagram feeds. Incisive and darkly funny, this enrapturing take on the curious social science of power and belief will make you hear the fanatical language of “cultish” everywhere.

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I planned this to be a slow listen-when-I-have-time for background noise but parts of the book had caught my attention, so this was a very pleasant surprise.

Reading the other reviews, maybe because I listened to the book, so the “getting back to this later” didn’t quite get me (though I know I’ve heard that at least thrice), there were parts of the book that really caught my interest.

Not sure if author meant as a tongue in cheek or in all seriousness, but on why some people are more susceptible to these cult bs language is when you’re in a good mood… and when you’re in bad mood you catch the BS more easily, so ergo, stay grumpy? I guess. I wonder if that’s why I can catch these cult-ish vibes so early on.

I also never thought to class fitness groups into cults but it seems to make sense.

Pretty eye-opening as I haven’t read that many books on cults yet. I felt like this was a good intro to it.

Changes

Tuesday, 20 January 2026 10:54
elusivek: (Couch-nap)
Meh. Life has been uninspiring. Nothing bad, just nothing special. It's going as well as it can be.

Birthday passed, no mood at all. Big fight with Mom. She's upset with me that "I'm not generous enough to understand my Sis needs help", and I'm upset with her "with this reasoning, never ever for the rest of my life will you include me for fun stuff." Now it seems like... nothing happened. There's an invisible line of politeness. Is that what people say an impasse? Sure, that's great. I don't need to try so hard anymore to get on her good side. There's no place for me on her any side anyway.

Mechanic booked the annual inspection for my car early. "But my car is schedule to be inspected in March?" I asked. "It's fine, January-March inspections can be booked any time within these 3 months," he replies. I never heard of it, but okay, he's the specialist.

Mechanic threw in a car cleaning for me, haha, apparently my car was too dirty for his liking. But hey, his cars aren't that much more cleaner, so I don't get why he's so ticked by my dusty car. The inside is clean, it's just the outside that's dusty and leafy because I park outdoors. But I've started a new ritual now. I use a feather duster to swipe over the leaves and dust every morning before I leave for work now.

Korean classes have started. Korean vowels are weird. It's not an actual A-E-I-O-U by sound. It sounds like A-Oh-Ou-Uuh-Eh-I. I don't mind so much the Korean writing. We're still going through the "alphabets" and maybe next week will finish the basics. Then we'll go to "combination alphabets" I guess.

Chinese class structure is better this term than the last term. But the admin part of it is terrible. The teachers keep forgetting to upload course materials, update assignment dates (they're still using the due dates from the previous semester for this semester), so it's vexing in another way.
elusivek: (books)
weddingpeople The Wedding People: A Novel
Alison Espach
Amazon Product Link

It’s a beautiful day in Newport, Rhode Island, when Phoebe Stone arrives at the grand Cornwall Inn wearing a green dress and gold heels, not a bag in sight, alone. She’s immediately mistaken by everyone in the lobby for one of the wedding people, but she’s actually the only guest at the Cornwall who isn’t here for the big event. Phoebe is here because she’s dreamed of coming for years—she hoped to shuck oysters and take sunset sails with her husband, only now she’s here without him, at rock bottom, and determined to have one last decadent splurge on herself. Meanwhile, the bride has accounted for every detail and every possible disaster the weekend might yield except for, well, Phoebe and Phoebe's plan—which makes it that much more surprising when the two women can’t stop confiding in each other.

In turns absurdly funny and devastatingly tender, Alison Espach’s The Wedding People is ultimately an incredibly nuanced and resonant look at the winding paths we can take to places we never imagined—and the chance encounters it sometimes takes to reroute us.

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This was a quick fun listen. My friend did not go to the pottery workshop the other day, so I put a book on as I worked on my pottery stuff.

The book itself was pretty engaging. I was able to kind of relate to Phoebe, perhaps I'm also feeling a little down?

Though I felt it was a stretch that she would rely on her cat's painkillers, but that also reflects how she wasn't thinking right.

I wonder how the hotel managed to slip in an outside reservation if Delilah had "made sure to book out the hotel" the first time around (but had to go and book out Phoebe's room after she found out Phoebe was not part of the wedding).

I liked that the story did not revolve around Phoebe in that she did out of character things (think Mary Sues kind of thing), so making it a tad more believable. Winter housekeeper sounds like an amazing job too.

Impulse Buy

Saturday, 17 January 2026 15:04
elusivek: (thrilled! (Naga))
.... I don't know, YOLO? FOMO? But I thought it so interesting. I already have an Apple Watch, so I don't know why I was so pulled by this analogue watch.
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It's Snoopy!
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I purposefully only spoke English in this shopping trip and the guy was spinning a story that Snoopy is actually first to the moon. A quick google search says that it's true. Huh. Cute. This watch can only be bought when it's snowing in Switzerland, so the website does show the weather forecast. The moon phase complication also features a unique snowflake on the moon... they say there's no 2 same watches. I wonder just how many designs there are.
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No full moon yet, so I'll wait until it's the full moon to see what mine looks like.
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There's a page of sample snowflakes. My friend C also bought this watch (we bought separately) and she complained that her snowflake was a thin ugly and sad design, but it's not in the page, so I guess they really are unique. Can't wait to see mine.
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Besides, it's really a strange positioning. It's Swatch, you know, everyday sporty watch, and Omega, what I understand as classy premium watch.
elusivek: (Default)
There goes the first weekend of 2026.

So I did the 108 Sun Salutations on Thursday, Friday I was fine-ish, Saturday I was dead, today I was still so-so. But yesterday I kept up with my ceramics workshop and today I kept up with my 2-hour yoga. My arms are so dead.

I sort of binge-bought a lot of different types of cat sand LOL we have so many boxes and packets of cat sand now! I also scored a nice-ish thermos flask and a pair of shoes. I doubt the shoes will last too long, they were pretty cheap to start with, but I can see from the materials.

I know I said my running friend is a little hard on the travel friend part, but upcoming we are planning to join the run in Gyeongju as I mentioned. I think I've sort of... managed to understand her thoughts and way of travel, so I should be able adjust my expectations. Besides, Gyeongju sounds like a place I wouldn't just suddenly decide to go nilly-willy, so it's a good excuse to see some other won't-easily-go-explore place.

I've got a busy week ahead. Got a few task items to complete so hopefully I can get stuff done.

I should start reading another book, got so many books on my TBR. I'm curious about I want to die but I want to eat tteokbokki... let's do it! Will be meeting my friend J tomorrow for lunch, so won't be able to read over lunch tomorrow, but should be fine for the next few days. 

New Year 2026

Thursday, 1 January 2026 23:17
elusivek: (Couch-nap)
I seem to say the same thing every year (in recent years)... my new year's resolution is to sign off and write the correct year in documents this year. Got to remember to update my date chop too.

New Year, New Me? No thanks. But, I did go for a new challenge. The Yoga studio I go to had this 108 Sun Salutations for the new year, so I naively decided to "Okay I go!" Geezus it was brutal. 108 repetitions of the Sun Salutation (back bend, standing forward fold, one leg back, other leg back, plank, chaturanga, down dog, one leg front, other leg front, hold the ankles, stand up and back bend, standing forward fold, repeat.

I found that it went a little too fast. I didn't have time to do each pose properly. By around the 60th repetition, my arms were numb. At around the 70th repetition, one of the masters walked around and chuckled at me. I knew I wasn't doing the poses properly - there wasn't enough time for me to do the pose right! But it was funny, and while I started to smile, soon I don't know why I started to tear up. I don't know what I was upset about. But I guess it's also some yoga thing to "let your emotions out" so I let that mysterious upset run its course.

Next was the annual family 1-January buffet lunch. The gossip this time was one of the cousins didn't give presents for Christmas (said she was going home to pick up the presents but didn't have time to get home before coming over to ours) and everyone expected her to give out the presents today - but she didn't either. I dunno. I don't mind the not receiving it, but I mind the headache she avoided by not having to think about what to gift to who.

Then I took Frankie to my the only (?) pet-friendly mall in town. Dogs need to put on a diaper, so I put one on Frankie. Funny thing is, at the end, as we were leaving, he found a lamppost to pee on. I didn't want him to pee event though he had a diaper, but, I noticed his pee coming out. At home, I checked the diaper, but it was dry! But I also know the diaper DID cover over his wee wee! How?????
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Maybe because he didn't park exactly IN the box, so he didn't get treats, hahaha.
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When we got home, because Frankie had been having some skin issues, and we heard the cold was coming this weekend, we gave Frankie a shower, and blow-dried him too.

I went for my first run as well. I'm going to put in a lot of effort into training - my running pal and I are thinking about a race in Gyeongju, South Korea. I think i'm going to train for the half marathon (21km, time limit of 2H30M) but I will only register for the 10km (time limit 1H30M). My fastest half marathon was 2H38M and I don't think I'll be able to train and reach 2H30M in April. But I'll still be training for it.
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The cold has not arrived yet!
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It's back to work tomorrow (Friday) and then the weekend again. Why didn't I take the day off? 

Book: Fair Play

Wednesday, 31 December 2025 14:26
elusivek: (books)
Untitled Fair Play
Eve Rodsky
Amazon Product Link

A revolutionary, real-world solution to the problem of unpaid, invisible work that women have shouldered for too long.

It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family -- and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was... underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it.

The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.

"Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space -- as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.

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hm... actually a DNF but I think I had finished the "theoretical" parts of the book, I had to stop when it was just a continuous listing down of specific examples because it was just getting my blood boil and annoyed and I DO NOT NEED my mood to be affected on this fine day.

If I have to read... "pun intended" one more time........

IMHO, you don't just breakdown tasks into sub-tasks. Nice of her to add sub-tasks to her tasks, but his tasks are just the one task... which, objectively AND subjectively can be broken down into several sub-tasks as well, so why do only her tasks get the sub-tasks? Is that to inflate her number of tasks? Is THAT considered fair?

In a way these feel like... "people with money" (first world?) problems. The never-ending chicken-or-egg question... yes, you have the home making mental load, yes, he is the breadwinner, but hey, he does have his mental load at work. He can just not work, and there will be totally no money, and with no money, you have a different set of problems.

I'm not saying I agree that the breadwinner is the total winner here. The breadwinner should also be compassionate about the home maker's mental load, just as the home maker should show compassion to the breadwinner's mental load at work. You think sitting there in the office/workplace is such a stress-free no-need-for-mental-gymnastics job?

Alright, I'm not married, don't have kids, and I do not live in the US, so I can't really comment much on the specific tasks and way of doing things and such. But hey, it comes down to respecting your partner's (be it life partner, work partner, colleague, friend, spouse, whatever) work and time and whether or not they are putting the time and thought to be considerate of the other.

Maybe I'm naive and don't get the real issue because "you don't see the problem until it happens to you" but, I think it's all about being respectful to each other's time and effort.
elusivek: (Default)
UntitledFirst Lie Wins
Ashley Elston
Amazon Product Link

Evie Porter has everything a nice Southern girl could want: a doting boyfriend, a house with a white picket fence, a tight group of friends. The only catch: Evie Porter doesn’t exist.

The identity comes first: Evie Porter. Once she’s given a name and location by her mysterious boss, Mr. Smith, she learns everything there is to know about the town and the people in it. Then the mark: Ryan Sumner. The last piece of the puzzle is the job.

Evie isn’t privy to Mr. Smith’s real identity, but she knows this job isn't like the others. Ryan has gotten under her skin, and she’s starting to envision a different sort of life for herself. But Evie can’t make any mistakes—especially after what happened last time.

Evie Porter must stay one step ahead of her past while making sure there's still a future in front of her. The stakes couldn't be higher—but then, Evie has always liked a challenge. . .

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Random Libby loan - I'm still pleasantly surprised by the selection of my local library.

This was a super rushed read - trying to complete my challenge goal of 24 books this year. I'm happy with the 20 I did (my usual target), the 4 extra was just an idealistic plan of 2 books per month.

I didn't quite appreciate the back and forth in timelines, but I guess it was needed in order to build up the suspense. I'm a little sceptical that the Boss team didn't have their own IT techie guy though. I mean, if she had been contacting an IT techie guy, it should somehow get caught in the surveillance?

The ending wrapped up nicely, although felt fairy-tale-ish. Will there ever be such a perfect ending?

elusivek: (sakura)
I should sort through my Japan photos and post, but the fire has passed and I don't feel like doing it anymore.

I spent the Christmas break maximizing the use of my Netflix account. Yeah, I paid throughout the year but only now that I'm binge-playing (notice I didn't use the word watching) stuff. Started off with the Rookie, but once it got serious (Season 3?) I've lost interest. I'll probably wait until end of February, after the Chinese New Year break, then I'll pause the Netflix payment. I don't seem to be watching much anything anyway.

With 2 days left I don't think I have enough time to finish 2 more books (to complete my reading challenge for this year) but I'm good. I set for 24 books, thinking of doing 2 books per month, but I'm already at 22 books, currently on my 23rd which I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish in time. But 20 books used to be my annual target anyway. So I'm happy about it.

I decided to order my own birthday cake this year. What with the stupid jokes (getting me an emoji smiley face cake was a big joke) and inviting others on a trip over my birthday weekend, I don't think i have the patience to be trifled with and decided to order my own cake. I ordered the cake for the 11th because it's a Sunday and also because on my birthday the 12th I have class, and will be home late, and can't pick up the cake beforehand to fridge it, etc. Etc. Etc. And if mom makes a dig about getting a cake not on my birthday I'll give her a comeback about inviting someone else on a trip over my birthday weekend.

Have I mentioned I now do my own laundry? It was really, really, and I mean reaaaaaaalllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy vexing me when Dad would come by ANY RANDOM day of the week with clothes on a hanger that's inside out and ask me "is this yours?" And no matter how many times I say, "I wouldn't know, the T-shirt is inside out" and "I do not have the time to be sorting these hanger tshirts at this time of the day!" (he'd give me the clothes right before I leave home fo for work - and we have a clean clothes basket where the clean laundry is dumped in and we sort it out on Sunday, so WHY CAN'T THOSE TSHIRTS WAIT TILL SUNDAY TO BE SORTED OUT!?!?!?!?!?!) I got so fed up and ran out of patience one time and just yelled that i will do my own laundry from now on and honestly, I've been so much more happier and at ease since then. I probably have some form of OCD, I guess, unless it's something else. But laundry sorting had ALWAYS been on Sundays so why has my Dad started to bug me about tshirts every day!?

I also hate it when somebody sits at my seat at the dinner table. It's been my seat for the past 40 years or whatever so do not sit on my seat! Even when it's not a full family dinner - say someone is just one person sitting at the dinner table but on my seat? I get so miffed. It's not an issue when we have more than 4 people though. Don't worry, for the table seat thing I have never yelled but grumbled in my head only. I'm not so spoiled and entitled. But it has got me wondering why I'm so inflexible in these small things - hence wondering if it's OCD related. And if it's me being spoiled and entitled, I'll draw the line at spoiled. I was not spoiled. I'm protective of what's mine though, because it has been proven to me that if I do not fight for and protect myself then no one here (I mean the family) is going to.

At yoga yesterday, the master had us do headstands and he helped me to do mine, but then I had so much pain in my neck. He said it's because I started off correctly, using my shoulders for support, but then I probably relaxed my shoulders so the weight went straight to my neck. Heck. It hurts till today too. Do I need my Chinese doctor for her chiropractor or bone setting skills?

I plan to get a new pair of running shoes next year because I promised myself I wouldn't buy new ones this year, despite going on the trial run and really liking those shoes I trialed in (Puma, I think). Ran 2 half marathons and a 17km in 2025 and feeling pretty good about that - so I think I've earned new shoes in 2026. Time to check if there's any newer models since then.
elusivek: (Default)
House_Cerulean The House in the Cerulean Sea
TJ Klune
Amazon Product Link

Linus Baker is a by-the-book case worker in the Department in Charge of Magical Youth. He's tasked with determining whether six dangerous magical children are likely to bring about the end of the world.

Arthur Parnassus is the master of the orphanage. He would do anything to keep the children safe, even if it means the world will burn. And his secrets will come to light.

The House in the Cerulean Sea is an enchanting love story, masterfully told, about the profound experience of discovering an unlikely family in an unexpected place—and realizing that family is yours.

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This book was one of the suggestions in the (new) book club I’m in. I was a little bamboozled though!

When I first read the synopsis, I commented to the suggester (who was a friend outside of the club as well) that “I’m getting queer vibes from the synopsis” and she said “no! I promise you!” Queer or not, it would have been fine, but after being promised that it wasn’t, and that then it WAS, I was a little miffed. Nothing against Queer-ness, it’s more of the “that’s what I said but you said it wasn’t!!” type of annoyance. (Yes, I have to be proven right lol)

I’m surprised discussions in the book were mostly so… civilized. Is that… British? (Looks up on Google)… and alright, it felt very, very British to me.

I’ll say, I knew from the start something was up with Arthur and had some inkling about what exactly. The book has many many hints in the beginning and referring back and repeating small phrases and comments that just pushes you to reconsider “hm….. something is up.” There’s a lack of actual physical action/conflict and everything is being discussed so civilly, that it just gives off this very British vibe. In a way it’s very heartwarming and feel-good.

This is my first TJ Klune book, so is this his style of writing? I dunno. But I’m about to find out, coz I’m going to explore this author!
elusivek: (books)
IMG_1481 I Deliver Parcels In Beijing
Hu Anyan (author), Jack Hargreaves (translator)
Amazon Product Link

In 2023, I Deliver Parcels in Beijing became the literary sensation of the year in China. Hu Anyan’s story, about short-term jobs in various anonymous megacities, hit a nerve with a generation of young people who feel at odds with an ever-growing pressure to perform and succeed.

Hu started posting essays about his experiences online during COVID lockdowns. His recollection of night shifts in a huge logistics center in the south of China went viral: his nights were so hot that he could drink three liters of water without taking a toilet break; his days were spent searching for affordable rooms with proper air-conditioning; and his few moments of leisure were consumed by calculations of the amount of alcohol needed to sleep but not feel drowsy a few hours later.

Hu Anyan tells us about brutal work, where there is no real future in sight. But Hu is armed with deadpan humor and a strong idea of self. He moves on when he feels stuck—from logistics in the south, to parcel delivery in Beijing, to other impossible jobs. Along the way, he turns to reading and writing for strength and companionship.

I Deliver Parcels in Beijing is an honest and startling first-person portrait of Hu Anyan's struggle against the dehumanizing nature of our contemporary global work system—and his discovery of the power of sharing a story.

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This is the book that the new book club I’m in has chosen by number of votes. There is also another book from the list that I may read over Christmas.

This was a bit of a palate cleanser, a somewhat monologue biography type of thing. The book is basically 5 pieces of writing. Timeline-wise it was a little disjointed, because each piece was written at a different time. The last chapter sort of is a conclusion piece that wraps up and kind of sorts out the timeline of the previous 4 pieces, and also kind of explains how, he seemed to have had a million jobs, despite being just 4 years older than I am.

This has sort of made me think about what I would describe as an idyllic life and a good work-life balance, without the common “BS” older generation people would think of… I consider myself part oft he older generation. There’s no real freedom, just the road to attaining freedom. I don’t think I’d really feel comfortable with total freedom. I have to have some kind of work going on. And right on spot about needing a safety net, a personal boundary. Will I ever have the courage to try the kind of 6-months working, 6-months going whatever? I know it’s never.

Anyway, this was a nice read. Glad to have had the chance to read this.
elusivek: (books)
IMG_1480 Dead-End Memories
Banana Yoshimoto (author), Asa Yoneda (translator)
Amazon Product Link

First published in Japan in 2003 and never before published in the United States, Dead-End Memories collects the stories of five women who, following sudden and painful events, quietly discover their ways back to recovery.
Among the women we meet in Dead-End Memories is one betrayed by her fiancé who finds a perfect refuge in an apartment above her uncle's bar while seeking the real meaning of happiness. In "House of Ghosts," the daughter of a yoshoku restaurant owner encounters the ghosts of a sweet elderly couple who haven't yet realized that they've been dead for years. In "Tomo-chan's Happiness," an office worker who is a victim of sexual assault finally catches sight of the hope of romance.
Yoshimoto's gentle, effortless prose reminds us that one true miracle can be as simple as having someone to share a meal with, and that happiness is always within us if only we take a moment to pause and reflect. Discover this collection of what Yoshimoto herself calls the "most precious work of my writing career."

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This is actually the second Banana Yoshimoto book I’ve read (the first was Goodbye, Tsugumi). I don’t quite remember what I thought about that one, just that, it was about some dying the friend, but that friend just never died (until the end of the book). I forget if it was some real thing or something that was made up by the friend.

This had about 5 snippets or stories, all of which, per usual Japanese authored books, had no real conclusion to them. I think I kind of related the most to the main character of the last story (Dead-End Memories), whereas the one I could not relate to the most was probably the first one (The House of Ghosts). I can see the practical-ness of it, but I couldn’t see any real person actually ok with it (or maybe there are, how would I know).

Cute, I-thought-it-would-be-a-quick-read-but-wasn’t.
elusivek: (peekaboo (Menina))
oh boy, it's been awhile I am so sorry, but life has been so busy!

I've finally won a war!

I got the building management to fix our common-use exterior drainpipe. Long story short, an exterior drainpipe was blocked... if not 10 years ago then 8 years ago, or around so. At the time when we raised the issue, homeowners association had asked us to "cooperate and work with them and just not wash our varandah for a while, because scaffolding is expensive." But the thing is, it wasn't a private drainpipe, it was common use. The floors above us would have their drains flow through to this drainpipe. We were nice and complied, and never washed our dogs outside anymore, if we needed to wash the varandah then we actually MOPPED the verandah instead of the easy flush with power hose, and we watered the plants with a watering can, being very careful not to spill too much water.

One time another drainpipe had burst and they fixed it immediately, because it burst at a very low level where they could have accessed with just a ladder. Our drainpipe would have to be accessed with a scaffolding.

A few months ago, I noticed a posted notice saying the HOA was going to use X amount of money from the building repair funds to fix another drainpipe that was constantly gushing water out. I asked the management company "what gives?" and he said because someone complained. Huh. The HOA president that told us to "cooperate" 8 years ago has passed away earlier this year. So? I told the family, there's no need to keep that promise anymore, and we just washed the varandah every day, watered the plants with the hose directly. Let the water flow.

The thing is, that other drainpipe they are going to fix? The water flowed to a dead-end area of the building. The drainpipe that was on our side? it's right above the motorcycle parking. Yes. Bikes got wet. I don't know if they know that the water is possibly doggy pee water either, but, I'm past the point of caring.

TODAY they've changed the notice. They are going to erect scaffolding to fix 2 drainpipes. Ha! I win!

Random photo dump with some captions if I feel like it!

My Sai Lup 2.0 Planter is done! And there's an obvious improvedment since my first version. And the phone screen capture is for another announcement...
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It was time to upgrade my phone, so, since the new iPhone had an Orange option and I just so happen to have an Orange theme going on (to be fair, I also have a Purple theme and a Blue theme going on in other parts of my life!)
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I can't ruin the phone by having some other colored case, so... I just had to get a transparent case, and since recently there's this new fad with those hanging slips that go inside your case and stuff, that was a nice way to make a subtle customization without covering the orange.
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Frankie has been visiting very a many different places now. I have to limit his walks to at the very most 1 hour (usually 30 mins or so) as he can't really walk too much. But it's winter right now, so stretching it to an hour is fine on most days as well. Worst case I can just carry him home. BUT HE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO TURN BACK AND HEAD HOME!
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Ah, I made a plate thingy. Since my planters are all animals, I use most the browns and beiges and black and white colours. I wanted to make something that I could use the other colours, so I made the plate. ButI didn't expect it to get so bright and sharp after the transparent glaze.
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It was the handicraft and art fair the other week. Went ahead and did some small shopping.
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These are also shots from the Frankie walks but there be no Frankie here. The right side photo below is actually a flipped image. The lake happened to be quite calm, though you can still see the ripples.
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My workplace lunch restaurant has a new menu and the Japanese style curry is great. I really love it, it's cheesy too! Dad also made bread dumplins the other day.
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One of the cafes at my work place has made this amazing gingerbread house but why is the Santa so... contorted? And apparently it must be some ready-made bought sugar dolls because a colleague said another hotel has a same style Santa.
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I had an artist from China do this needle felting doll thing of Sai-Lup and they said it's being sent. So I shall await its arrival.
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The dog and cats are getting pretty comfortable with us LOL. I'm also terrified of Kitty, who now will explore the apartment since Sai Lup is gone. I still think she got a very very bad first impression of Sai Lup that caused her to never come out.
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oh, and what have I been so busy with? Chinese class, running and workouts. Preparing for my Mt. Fuji run! I'm still not sure about my gear, but I tested a neck warmer thing and I think it's good to keep it. I should feel more excited about my upcoming trip but I still couldn't quite muster up the right excitement.
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Book: Flesh

Monday, 17 November 2025 21:42
elusivek: (books)
IMG_1463 Flesh
David Szalay
Amazon Product Link

Teenaged István lives with his mother in a quiet apartment complex in Hungary. Shy and new in town, he is a stranger to the social rituals practiced by his classmates and is soon isolated, drawn instead into a series of events that leave him forever a stranger to peers, his mother, and himself. In the years that follow, István is born along by the goodwill, or self-interest, of strangers, charting a rocky yet upward trajectory that lands him further from his childhood, and the defining events that abruptly ended it, than he could possibly have imagined.

A collection of intimate moments over the course of decades, Flesh chronicles a man at odds with himself—estranged from and by the circumstances and demands of a life not entirely under his control and the roles that he is asked to play. Shadowed by the specter of past tragedy and the apathy of modernity, the tension between István and all that alienates him hurtles forward until sudden tragedy again throws life as he knows it in jeopardy.

“Spare and detached on the page, lush in resonance beyond it” (NPR), Flesh traces the imperceptible but indelible contours of unresolved trauma and its aftermath amid the precarity and violence of an ever-globalizing Europe with incisive insight, unyielding pathos, and startling humanity.

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Trying not spoil this but overall did not quite like the book.

Conversations felt lazy and sometimes I couldn’t follow with the “yeah?”, “Yeah”, “so, yeah”, “yeah?”, “okay” and who’s actually speaking (having to go back and count the actual lines).

First half (roughly) of the book felt like a teenaged boy going on and on and on and on about the ONE thing.

When I thought that ONE thing was over, it pops up again nearing the end of the book. Gee. Is that all what men think about?

And, okay, he did a good thing. Was there an explanation, a reflection, a self-review of why he did that good thing? No. Hey, I’m glad he did that good thing. Would have been nice to get more depth on it though.

And, while there were… not exactly diatribes, but lengthy explanations of what is going on, oh so very abruptly, the book ended. Like, huh?

This is actually the first book I’m reading for a new local book club and surely this will be a good conversation starter.

- - Not included in my Goodreads post: If the book is set in Europe - Hungary and England - why is it that in a part it was using Fahrenheit? Maybe I got an American publication, but yeah. That irked me a bit. It just said (paraphrasing) "It's 75" and I was like.... 75C and he's not dead yet? And after a moment I figured it's 75F and had to google what's the equivalent in C. --
elusivek: (SMILE (Peppie))
I'll try to keep the story brief.
The building management/security guy saw a turtle trying to climb from the street to the pedestrian. He picked it up and saw my dad and gave the turtle to my dad. We had turtles before, but we really don't want to keep any more new pets. But here are some funny videos.

Also, last night was like the calmest night EVER because the cat was just staring at the turtle the whole night. (She had just pushed off a whole bottle of liquor off the cabinet a couple days ago)







I've already screened a few people that offered to adopt. I know I can't be 100% sure if they are trustworthy, but I guess, I can only cross my fingers and hope for the best. Apparently it's a Gold Coin Turtle and can be sold for a good penny.

Anyway, since I'm sharing videos, might as well send this one taken with the recent Kodak Charmera fancy schmancy thingamajig.

elusivek: (Default)
I had thought this... preferential treatment was over, but apparently, this will always happen and be the same.

I'm already in my 40s, my sister mid-40s. There was a while where I really made a lot of ruckus because of the preferential treatment my Sis gets from Mom. Mom bought some home insurance thing (or some insurance, I don't know) and sole beneficiary is my Sis. She got her friends to "fund" money to my Sis. I remember as a kid, I would ask for something for Christmas, they'd say no, but then when my Sis asked for the very same thing, she went running to get it.

I get it, I'm not the preferred kid. She says it's because "I'm capable so she doesn't have to take care of me" but hey, that's still not fair. You know, if she admits that yes, she likes to treat my Sis better than me I probably wouldn't be so miffed. It's her arguing that "she's fair" and "treats everyone the same".

I'm sure it's just that she doesn't like me.

In my Form 3 year (9th Grade I think?) I was selected to be the Master of Ceremony of that year's graduation ceremony. I trained for 3 months. I got tickets. Mom REFUSED to go because "I'm not the one graduating, why should she waste time going there?"

The other day, my cousin's kid's volleyball team was going to have a game. They know for a fact that THEY WILL NOT WIN, and the game is to get the 3rd place. My Mom went to see. "They wouldn't be the 1st anyway" didn't appear in her verbiage.

Well. So the other day, Mom asked me to postpone my next birthday lunch because she is going on a trip on my birthday weekend.

I'm like, well, sure, but also depends on cousin (I have a cousin that shares the birthday week, so we tend to host the lunch together). Well, yesterday, my Mom offered to take my Sis on that trip with her. So it's my birthday weekend, but it's my Sis that gets invited to a trip. I give up.

I had thought of plans to go to Taipei again the week after my birthday (because on my birthday weekend there's going to be an Ayumi Hamasaki concert and I wanted to go see that), but in the end since my friends weren't too keen, so I thought of just leaving the weekend open. I'm kind of thinking about just f*cking it all and I won't host a birthday lunch and instead do a solo trip.

I do hate to be continuously be complaining about that, but when it's getting obvious that it isn't sibling rivalry/envy and that it's really preferential treatment, ugh, I'm a bit upset, yes, but I'm going to adopt an I-don't-care attitude. It's what they say, right? It's only when you don't care that it means that you're not dependent on that.
elusivek: (plane rainbow)
Rare day that I have a free afternoon so I might as well finish my write-up for the trip.

Day 1 - Going to Taipei

When I posted this photo on Facebook, i was surprised at how many of my real life friends actually didn't know I am (also) Austrian. They know for a fact my Dad is Austrian, so why would they find that my being Austrian is a surprise? I know not why.
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My friend and I had this plan of choosing one window and one aisle seat and hoping that nobody chooses to sit between us, but alas it was a full flight that day.
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It was a very Snoopy experience. Though the plane itself wasn't wrapped in Snoopy decoration.
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I had some reward points on an app (trip.com) that was going to expire, and I had just enough points to book us an airport transfer, so that's what we did. We got to the hotel, not knowing that it's actually a hotel under a Japanese chain, so the whole hotel, room, bathroom, heck, even the clientele was very, very Japanese. The hotel had a Godzilla thing going on too. I never watched Godzilla and I always thought Godzilla was the monster. But my friend (who's Japanese) said, she thought so at first too, but later found out Godzilla was actually a good thing as it helped to clean out nuclear waste (???? I have no idea)
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We actually saw some other runners and they had the marathon goods in hand, so we did a quick search and found the location of the pre-event headquarters and went there. There was the event merchandise, but it looked cheap (250 TWD for a sports bag) but there was a spiffier version (and pricier of course) that I immediately liked because of the spiffy colors. Photo was taken back in Macau, but yeah, I can see why I liked it. It's got yellow and fits my Snoopy Run Charm hahaha.
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After we got that bag, we roamed around the area and came to... I dunno, freedom square?
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There was some sort of bazaar thing going on.
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Interesting, but it started to rain a bit, so we headed off for an early dinner.
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Don't know what this braised stuff is called in Mandarin, but in Cantonese we call this "Lomei" and my friends in Macau grew so envious that I was having this haha.
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Made preparations for the following day.
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Day 2 - The Half-Marathon

Early day. And since I wrote about it already, I'll skip.
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Was at Ximending hunting for lunch and saw this guy with this dog and cat. So well behaved!
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By late afternoon, my friend had rested enough and so we went out exploring the area around the hotel.
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Interesting stuff, but we didn't go in anywhere.
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Late evening we went for a foot massage
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Random window-shopping around after, and had a quick dinner near a night market that was disappointing. At a bookstore, I saw this display for RF Kuang's newest (?) book, Katabasis. I was slightly tempted to buy because my earliest nickname at school was "Kata" and I thought a pun could have been made, but then... I remembered how long and dragged out RF Kuang's books can be..... and decided not to get it hahaha
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Day 3 - Roaming

First we actually went for some Taipei breakfast (Shihai Soy Milk I think), then we walked all the way to... Dunhua I think (a good 45minute walk). Which I didn't dislike per say, but the weather was a little too muggy for that. After a quick coffee, we went to one more place for a quick look around.
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Books.com.tw! I used to hunt for certain Chinese books on this website that apparently now they have a brick-and-mortar store!
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Funny-looking books that I did not buy haha.
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And right opposite was a huuuuuuggggeeee Starbucks. I'm always impressed with how unique yet consistent all the Starbucks I've been to are. Consistent enough to know they are all Starbucks, but unique enough that you can tell they are all different.
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Sat for a good long while as I wasn't sure if my friend was going to finish browsing soon.
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And lucky the staff didn't kick me out, despite not having a drink nor product from them in hand.
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Found a place for a late lunch then....
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We booked a head spa thing. We did a combo of head spa + ear cleaning. We both expected the ear cleaning thing to be spectacular, but we both turned out to enjoy the head spa more than the ear cleaning. I was underwhelmed by the ear cleaning. It felt like she did a lot of things, but then she only showed me some specs like dandruff on the paper. I get more gunk out with a Q-tip anyway (despite all the labels saying don't use Q-tips haha sorry). Head spa though? I think I will look for a head spa place in Macau so I can go there sometimes.
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We decided to head towards another night market.
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Ningxia night market! My second favourite night market in Taipei (1st favourite is Raohe).
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There was a pig. Then some guy (stall keeper) fed him some meat. I was like "OMG, is the BBQ man feeding the pig pork?" Then I saw the stall menu and apparently, the guy fed the pig some beef. Er............ I don't know how I feel about it. But, hey, no judgement....
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I was having some pork knuckle in front of the pig as well... sooooooo.... no judgement.
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Oh, on the way back, I felt like getting a donut from this mom-and-pop store and OMG this was like one of the best donuts I've ever had. Even better than the Mister Donuts and other places.
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Day 4 - Tea House and Japanese

Breakfast. Friend was curious about the Fuhong (?) place but when I showed her the queue, she said no. Luckily, there was a Yonghe Soymilk just opposite which served similar food and had no queue at all. I had savory soy milk, yum!
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Yeah we finally were able to see the Godzilla on the outside of the hotel building.
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Made our way to Dongmen area.
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Shops weren't open yet so we just walked on.
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Reached a tea place. Had some pretty good tea.
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There's some story/history to this place which I read about but I've already forgotten about.
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Anyway, the guy wanted to make a sale and wanted to sell us like, over 150 balls of the tea we had. We sort of started making excuses. Then there was an influx of customers and the guy got busy serving them, so we took the chance to scram before he could force us to buy that many tea balls.
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Friend had a brain mix-up and said wanted to go to one place for lunch, but when we reached it, the menu was totally different.
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After the embarrassing, being seated but leaving without ordering because we found out we were at the wrong restaurant, we made our way further on...
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Found the right place, and proceeded to have a late lunch.
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All very Japanese.
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So nice!
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Mine... all mine!
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Both our meals together.
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Drizzling day.
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More drizzling.
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I've actually been here before but i didn't mind showing my friend around.
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Got a postcard but didn't get to send it because we couldn't find a post office (more on that later). This postcard is part of an animal-protection series. "___________ Until the end of the world." Meaning you would commit to doing __________ until your pet crosses the rainbow bridge. I've all along made the joke that I will always have dog walking duty, be it rain or shine or typhoon or apocalypse, so this postcard, "(Dog)Walk until the end of the world" seemed fitting.
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Dinner was had at a very local place...
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Where the cat served as a cashier, thankyouverymuch, LOL
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Day 5 - Last day and going back

This was a bit of a difficult day. I made plans, but friend just kept.... I dunno, had other plans. So we went ahead and got a locker for our bags.
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"Tried of the Taiwanese breakfasts" so we had to look for a Japanese breakfast. Found one place and as we were making our way there, passed by another place and friend wanted to go instead. Ok, so changed location.
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I did say I wanted to see this old-school foundry/printer place. But while there, my mind went blank and I couldn't think of what stamp to make. In the end I just made on of my Chinese name.
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But I will keep thinking about designs until the next time I'm there and make something spiffy.
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Really so old school!
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Found an interesting map on the "old school" or retro things, said we'd follow but then we just walked back to the station.
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Some random exterior wall.
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Another bookstore. Anyway, after this, I kept saying "let's go up to the station building" for like, last minute shopping or stuff, but friend wanted to get the bags and walk by the "underground shopping". Okay? We did so, but after 20 meters or so, she just went back to the exit saying "it's just cheap goods anyway".... and so we headed out to the airport with 5 hours to spare...?????
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Anyway, anyway, at the Airport Starbucks, I saw this... cup carrier thing with a cat butt..... I had to get it.
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Inside the airport we actually got to walk around the 2 terminals... on foot LOL. And by then we've already crossed immigration and forgotten about the post office and so, didn't get to send our postcards.
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We then sat in a free lounge area to charge our phones and kill time.
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Flight back and more food.
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Back home around 8pm that day, dog walk and unpacking, and the next day, back to work!

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Agueda Umbrella
kat (DW: elusivek | LJ: notte0)
❤︎ loves dogs, dark chocolate, and books.
★ doesn’t exactly hate cats.
◆ hates white chocolate.
more?
I read books :-)

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