Reflections after Thanksgiving? I guess this is a good time.
In this pretty good blog that I read, this guy was talking about having a genuine heart of gratitude. In his cynicism, he is suspicious of our genuineness when we give thanks during this holiday every year, because we’re still so focused on ourselves. He says, “The problem with all of this, and with myself, is that we are, in actuality, merely giving thanks for the overabundance of “stuff” that we’ve been given.” It all really comes down to selfish hearts, according to him.
I’m sure he’s right. I’ve never done ANYTHING out of a completely pure motive. I’ve concluded, based on the plethora of promises of blessing in the bible, that God wired us thus, that we ultimately make every decision based on the idea that it will make us happy. The key then is to pursue our happiness and satisfaction in God, the only one who can give us lasting happiness and ‘pleasures forevermore’.
So, instead of being suspicious of our poorly motivated and selfish forms of gratitude, I’m going to scratch the other side of this itch. What if we made the argument that being grateful, in itself, is a key to happiness and satisfaction?
Apparently science is discovering just that (which makes me laugh, because our scientific naturalistic world view trusts science to give us answers and truth rather than scripture). According to Reader’s Digest (Oct 2007) Robert Emmons, a psychologist from the University of California, and Michael McCullough of the University of Miami, took three groups of volunteers and randomly assigned them to focus on one of three things each week. Either:
- hassles, or
- things for which they were grateful, or
- ordinary life events.
The first group was instructed to focus on everything that went wrong, or was bugging them, like the jerk who cut them off driving. The second group concentrated on things that they felt enhanced their lives, as in ‘what a nice boyfriend I have-I’m lucky to have him.’ The third group simply recalled everyday events, such as ‘I went shoe shopping today.’
Want to guess what happened?? The people in the second group were flat out happier and had a higher quality of life. Let me summarize quickly in a list the benefits of gratitude which the article took longer to relate.
- fewer headaches, colds, and other physical symptoms
- exercised more frequently
- other people wanted to be around them
- more energy
- more joy
- more optimistic
- more helpful to others
- more compassionate
- more active socially
- less materialistic
- more generous
- less depressive
- less envious
- less anxious
- felt better about their lives
- more determined
- more interested
- got more sleep
- clearer thinking
- better resilience through tough times
- higher immune response
- less stress
- closer family ties
- greater religiousness
Years ago, I slipped into a pretty deep depression. I ended up in a psychologist’s office week after week. The path to recovery that he gave me was one of praise. I was instructed to thank God for everything that was happening to me. Everything. There was a lot of digging there, and looking at the roots of stuff, but I’m guessing now, years later, that he saw in me a refusal to recognize all that I really had, and that I was focusing on just a few things that I thought should be better. I was the horse with a pretty good life except for this one burr that was under my saddle. Learning to tell God ‘thank you’ for ALL of it (even my perceived burr) turned my life around.
Do you see where I’m going? I know we have a lot here in America. And even at Thanksgiving, when we stop to say thanks, I don’t want to feel guilty. God didn’t bless us so we would feel lousy about it (although there is no doubt in my mind that we will be held accountable for what we did do with our abundance!). But I guarantee you that he wants us to be grateful. Thankful to him for all we have. And don’t have. We weren’t wired for complaining and griping. What I mean by that is not that we don’t find griping and complaining easy. But griping and complaining, even about bad things that happen to us, is like putting silty water in the gas tanks of our cars. Apparently we were designed to flourish when we foster grateful attitudes (there’s a lot of theology here that I’m not even touching on, like worship, praising God, recognizing his provision, etc.).
So don’t kick people when they exhibit a little gratitude this time of year. Instead, let’s apply some spiritual disciplines to our lives so we can foster an attitude of gratitude.
- get our friends and families to use the holidays to jump start lives of gratitude. Talk about this post with your friends and ask them to make you accountable for your own attitude of gratitude. They’ll love the solicited chance to correct you and the result will be that they start paying attention to their own attitude of gratitude as well.
- Every day, take the time to write down 2-3 things you are thankful for. Do you already have a quiet time? Do it then. Or put a nice journal with a good pen on your bedside table (this way you’ll give yourself permission to leave it out), and use it for your list. Every night before bed, you’ll see the notebook and remember to write in it. And since you’re just writing a few things in it, you’ll be less likely to procrastinate.
Catch a Wave 
