BDSM can be a very formal and ritualised game. Many things are given specific meanings by the people involved in it, though some emerge from the context more or less naturally. One such element is the clothing typical to it. Bondage clothing or BDSM clothing is reasonably recognisable, at least some of it, and has a bit of a pop culture identity. But is it used correctly?

Well, while there is a considerable degree of freedom in what you wear while you have (BDSM) sex, there are a few things to keep in mind. The symbolism some clothing holds and how it influences the perception of a person wearing it.

A while back I mentioned there’s more to training a sub than just training them for sex. Today I’m going to do much the same to a different BDSM practice – bondage.

Bondage might actually be the very first thing that comes to mind at the mention of BDSM. It’s a complicated topic with many nuances to the techniques and materials used. I don’t really want to focus on those right now. Maybe a different time though, since it is something I find worth discussing. So no matter what we’re going to be using, ropes or chains or whatever else can be used to restrict someone’s movements (and believe me, there’s a lot of it) we are doing it for a reason. And that reason is generally the submissive. Of course, the first thing that comes to mind is restricting someone’s movements for sex, as usual, but that’s a very superfluous approach.

There’s a lot of different types of subs, and there are many kinds of doms. But have you ever considered the part of the Venn diagram where those two sets intersect?

A sub-dom is a peculiar creature. I’m not talking about a switch, that feels comfortable slipping from one role to the other. What I mean here is a person finding themselves in a situation where are submitting to someone and dominating someone else at the same time. Now, this has some places IRL with group sex, and especially the German style of BDSM, but as usual, my interest lies in the fantasy of it.

Another request, kind of, but also a fascinating topic. How exactly is the making of the fuck started?

I’ll try to present a pretty comprehensive outline for what happens in the lead up to sex. Especially from the perspective of a pair of inexperienced characters. Afterwards, I’ll transition to adding some notes about more experienced ones and how certain circumstances affect this. In the process, I’ll probably need to speak about intimacy so I’ll preface this by explaining why intimacy is essential to sex.

I’ve just recently written about subspace, not the method of FTL travel, but rather the mental state of mind a submissive can retreat to during BDSM. During that, I offhandedly mentioned that an equivalent concept exists for doms. Someone asked me to expand on it, so… Today we delve into the mysterious domspace.

As usual, this is related more to the BDSM fantasy and meant as a writing help rather than an IRL guide. So keep that in mind.

This time writing something on request. The topic of interest right now is a state of mind a submissive can slip into during BDSM called subspace. While erotic fiction often features various takes on the submissive entering an altered mental state, I find them not to be nearly as weird as what can happen during play.

What is subspace then? Why is it important, and why it’s a very peculiar thing that throws cogs in the general perception of BDSM?

You might know that training is part of the vast pool of BDSM practices. But what does it mean to train a sub/slave/pet? As with many things BDSM related, a general lot of pornographic fiction out there gets this wrong, very wrong.

Today I’ll be biting into what it means to train a submissive and how that can be used to build a bit more character into your… characters. As usual with these articles, I’m looking at it from the fantasy side of things. The sexual fantasy that is, not from the more strict IRL perspective.