Our Daily Schedule

Have you ever felt overwhelmed? With special needs kids and my brain injury, a routine is a must! We may have a little more detail than you would want, but if I don't have it in writing, my kids say, "I didn't know I had to do that!" My kids often set their alarm clock and get up earlier and race each other to finish their school work so they can go play with friends earlier! So, here is our day! Please let me know what you think or ask questions in the comments! 

Happy Day Schedule

Moring Routine 6:30 - 7:00

1. Make Bed

2. Pray

3. Clean Room

4. Bath - clean up bathroom floor and counter

5. Get Dressed

6. Wash Hands before eating

Breakfast 7:00 - 7:15

After Breakfast, everyone must rinse their own dishes and place them in the dishwasher or in the small sink if the dishwasher is not available.  

Clean Zones 7:15 - 7:30

Dining Room:                             Living Room:

1. Finish clearing table           1.   Clean books, toys, shoes, garbage, floor, shelves, furniture

2.   Wipe and dry the table        2.  Hall

3.   Put away things on floor     3.   Stairs

4.   Sweep Entire Zone             4.   Bathroom floor

5.   Straighten furniture             5.   Bathroom counter

6.   Clear/Wipe Island               6.   Sweep entire Zone

Before School Routine 7:30 - 8:00

Brush and Floss Teeth, Deodorant, Gel Hair, Wash Hands

Homeschool 8:00-1:00 with Lunch Break at 12:00

Start the Day Right! - Prayer, Song, Pledge, Scripture Memorization, Calendar

Science/ History

Math

Language Arts

After School 

(1:00-3:00 - Mom’s Self Care Time - Exercise, Journal, Scriptures, Read, Research, Check FB. After 3:00, housework, projects, socializing or errands.)

1. Clean Up Schoolwork, Zones and Have house Ready for Dad to Come Home

2. Free Time!

***Everything Stops At 5:00 No More Friends or Activities***

Evening Routine 5:00 - 6:00

Jenna Start Making Dinner - Kevin Spends Time With Kids/FreeTime

6:00 - Dinner

After Dinner Routine 6:30-7:00

Carter & Bryce - Zones (see lists above)     Jenna - dishes     Kevin & Asher - counters, garbage

7:00 - Family Prayers and Scriptures

7:30 - Personal Prayers, Personal Scriptures, Pajamas,Teeth, Potty 

8:00 - In Bed - Reading Time

8:30 - Lights  Out

Validation for the Overwhelmed Parent or Grandparent

I believe in teaching my children to be responsible and hard working.  They help out around the house.  My husband helps as well, so, my life should be easy, right?  My kids are supposed to clean their room every day and their "zone" (dining room or living room).  My husband helps with taking out the garbage, the budget and bills, providing for our family and other random things here and there.  Regardless, I was so overwhelmed the other day, that I asked my sweet husband to help with the dishes this week so I can finish unpacking and organizing the house after our move about a month ago.  right now you're thinking, how can I get my spouse to help that much? I really am lucky to have a husband who helps out so much.  Still,  when I expressed that I was crushed under the weight of my responsibilities, my husband said, "But, I'm doing the dishes this week. What else is over whelming you?"

I decided to document (in a very basic sense) the minimum responsibilities of an Autism Mom with health problems and Traumatic Brain Injuries who has the  privilege of belonging to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints which is run by volunteers. Incase you are confused by some of the items on my list, a "calling" is our assigned responsibility in our congregation (ward).  We have well thought out, programs for children, youth, and adults.  Callings include very involved leadership positions, teaching Sunday school to every age from 18 months up, being responsible for activities, clerks, secretaries for the presidency of every organization, compassionate service, choir director, other music leaders, and many more. Visiting Teaching is an amazing program in which two women team up to visit, take a spiritual message to and care for the spiritual and temporal needs of a few other women in the ward.  We really try to take care of each other in times of need like moving, having babies, funerals, weddings, divorce, illness, or when someone just needs a friend to talk to.  I am eternally grateful for my faith and fellowship in my world-wide church and value the opportunity to contribute.

What if you have particularly difficult challenges in parenting?  Since my last brain injury, I have had to relearn how to do nearly every item on my list.  I have worked hard to regain my ability to read, write, speak properly, organize, keep track of details, set and remember appointments, remember what people say to me in conversation, and much more. Using my brain causes daily headaches and migraines.  I have a very long way to go, but after 8 months of bi-weekly brain injury therapy, I am now taking their advice and learning to play an instrument to aid the healing and rewiring of my brain.  I chose the piano!  God bless my sweet piano teacher for adapting childrens' books and methods to a 36 year old with limitations.  My point in telling you about this?  If I can do it, you can, too!  Am I able to do everything all of the time?  No, but that doesn't mean I'm a failure.  I am strong mother and wife.  I am worthwhile, important and so are you.  The great work you are doing in raising children matters.

The fact is, every person raising a child needs to be validated.  You need to be appreciated!  I acknowledge that validation and appreciation are hard to come by as a parent, but sometimes, strength can and must come from within.  I have always heard that our self esteem and self worth should come from within and from our relationship with a Higher Being.  I think I am beginning to grasp that concept.

 The work you are doing is the most important on Earth. It can also be the most difficult. You are raising a family; the next generation.  Your influence can change the world.  The culture of each rising generation depends on it's parents.  So today I challenge you to intentionally parent your children.  That sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it?  Well, I know that you don't have room for more on your plate, so all I want you to do is write down everything you are already trying to do.  You will be amazed at how it will lift the burdens, increase your confidence in yourself and motivate you to see even the most challenging parental responsibilities as opportunities to make the world a better place by loving your child in the way they need to be loved.

Sometimes love means changing diapers, reading books to your child or telling them you are proud of the good things they do and say. Sometimes it means staying up waiting for your teen to come home and knowing the balance between setting limits and letting them exercise agency.  Sometimes it means lifting them when they have fallen or life has not gone the way they planned or consoling them through a breakup or a death in the family.  Sometimes it means going to IEP meetings and working with them every day on learning to speak, write with a pencil, walk without falling or potty train well into their childhood.  Sometimes those months turn into several years until finally, one day, we celebrate and fall to our knees in gratitude to our Maker for our child finally speaking in simple word combinations and sleeping through the night for the first time at age seven-and-a-half.  The point is that we do it all with love, with long-term perspective with validation from ourselves and from up above as a firm foundation to stand on.

We all have unique circumstances, backgrounds and abilities.  So far, I have come up with 89 responsibilities that are mine and they just keep flowing in.  How many do you have?  How can you prioritize your list create a better life?  Please share in the comments and share this blog post with someone who may need a little encouragement!  I would love to hear from all of you.

Stay strong, love your children, give yourself a hug and remember how important your work is.  What on Earth would your family do without you?


My List In Random Order:

1. Dishes
2. Shopping
3. Laundry
4. Preparing food from scratch for special diets - three meals and two snacks a day. Dishes!!
5. Get kids ready for school and out the door (the hardest thing I do and if you were here, you would know why)
6. Drive kids everywhere they need to go
7. Help Kids With Scouting Merritt Badges
8. My Church Calling
9. Clean up after kids messes every day when it's too disastrous for them to deal with because I have three boys, two of them are special needs and the other is three years old
10. Make sure kids do homework and keep track of all their school stuff
11. Packing, Moving, Unpacking
12. Constantly work on re-organizing the house
13. Take care of and entertain my three-year-old all day
14. Coordinate and host playdates
15. Does anyone really want the whole list?
16. Visiting teaching
17. Family Activities

Creperie Dreams and Crushing Things

Over the weekend, I kicked my sugar habit with the help of "Sugar coated", a documentary I found on Netflix, which reinstated my creativity in the kitchen! I don't know what my deal is, but when I am eating sugar, it really impedes my cooking. All I want is sugar! I am so inspired and can't wait to make some amazing dishes!

On Saturday, we set off for hiking and trout fishing in the mountains. Almost as soon as we got out of the car, "C's" hand was crushed between two boulders. Just after taking this picture, he tried to climb up the steep bank. The small boulder near his forearm in the picture slid down and carter was stuck. Ironically, it was the same finger that Carter broke in a car door about six months ago which required surgery and a couple months of physical therapy. Thank goodness my husband was there to lift the boulder off his hand! He said it weighed well over 100 lbs. By the way, the picture was taken from the bottom of the slope. Their legs are not actually that long! :)

We went back to the same hand surgeon today. They didn't see any broken bones, but the hand is pretty mangled. He will wear this for three weeks, then start physical therapy again.

I was hoping to get some beautiful pictures of the fall leaves in the mountains, but we were in such a rush to get Carter to the hospital that it didn't happen. At least I snapped this picture while driving back down the mountain!

On Sunday, My husband and I teamed up in the kitchen to recreate the savory crepes my mom made for our wedding luncheon. It pays to marry a guy who served a two year mission in France (for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and mastered crepes while he was there. Our oldest son said that these were so good that we should open a restaurant to sell them. We both looked at each other as if a lightbulb had just turned on. Hmmm....I am always talking about reopening my bakery, but a creperie and bakery in one would be so fun!  Sometimes I really wish I could go to cooking school and receive formal training in French cuisine.

On our honeymoon to Paris, we stayed in a bed and breakfast near the Arc de Triomphe and the Champs-Elysées. Just down the street was a Creperie. We must have eaten there to prompt the picture, but I don't remember. I do remember eating crepes in France, so I will have to ask my husband.  Who knows. Maybe this was a foreshadowing of things to come!

Pizza Wraps

What is one of the things you miss the most when you eat gluten-free and dairy-free?  Pizza.  Sure, you can try to find or make pizza that fit's the bill, but let's be honest - it's just not the same.  This recipe is quick, easy and satisfies that pizza craving!

Pizza Wraps

Gluten-free Tortillas

1 can Tomato Sauce

Goat Cheese or Pine Nuts (they're a great substitute if you don't have cheese!)

Italian Seasoning

Montreal Chicken Seasoning

Lettuce

Spread tomato sauce on tortillas.  Sprinkle with Italian Seasoning and Montreal Chicken Seasoning (lightly for kids) and Goat Cheese or Pine Nuts. 

Stove Top:  Heat on a skillet until cheese starts to melt and tortilla starts to brown. 

Oven:  Place as many as you can fit on a cookie sheet and bake at 400 degrees for about 8-10 minutes.

Top with lettuce.  That's a wrap!

Banana Pumpkin Spice Muffins

This morning I was headed to play group with my kids where muffins would be served.  I knew they would have ingredients my kids and I avoid and I have been itching to make muffins lately, so this was the perfect opportunity.  Any time we are going somewhere and food will be served, I take food we can eat. Weddings, birthday parties, and dinner parties are not sad occasions when we go without, they are memories to be made.  By taking our own food, it puts the hostess at ease and helps us to live life to the fullest without disrupting the flow.

I've been developing this muffin recipe for about a year, now.  You can take the base recipe and change a couple ingredients to experience a whole new muffin.  Stay tuned for several variations!

For those of you who don't own a high power blender, I will try to work on a flour-based version. You could probably measure the grains and then grind them into flour. Let me know how it goes if you try it with flour! Without further adieu, here is the recipe:

Banana Pumpkin Spice Muffins

These blender muffins are moist, fluffy and flavorful. No one will ever know they are gluten-free and dairy-free. I make them without sweetener and then serve them with honey. Honey is an invert sugar in its raw state. When it is heated above 95 degrees, it becomes a sugar, affects blood sugar levels and loses enzymes. If you want to add your own sweetener, use 1/2 cup of your favorite one. They are made with the whole grains, rather than flour to avoid loss of nutrients.

1 C         Whole Sorghum
1/2 C      Whole Millet
1 1/2 C   Certified Gluten Free Oats
1 tsp       Chia Seeds
2             Ripe Bananas
2             Eggs
1/4 C      Pumpkin Puree
1 C         Almond Milk
1 C         Canned Whole Coconut Milk
1 1/2 tsp Salt
1/8 tsp    Ground Nutmeg
1/8 tsp    Ground Ginger
1/8 tsp    Ground Cloves
2 TBSP   Coconut oil
1/2 C       Sweetener of Choice (optional - see above)    

Add ingredients to high power blender. Process on high for 2-4 minutes or until batter is quite smooth.  Add baking powder and baking soda. Mix on a lower setting or stir by hand just until combined. Don't lose those precious bubbles by over-stiring!

4 tsp       Baking Powder
1/2 tsp    Baking Soda

Spray muffin tins. Pour batter into tins 1/2 full for low altitude or 3/4 full for high altitude. Bake at 325 for 25 minutes.

*Important!* I live at high altitude, so your bake time and temperature may vary. Please let me know how the time and temperature work if you live at a lower altitude.

  

I Am an Autism Mom

What does that mean? We all have heard of someone who has an autistic child.  Before my son was born, I was a nanny for an autistic child and worked in a preschool program for special needs children.  I found my work exhausting and rewarding as I challenged myself to help these sweet children break through the confinement of their disability.  I did not accept, even in my first exposures to special needs children, that these children could not beat the odds and reach their full potential, whatever that may be.

I experienced priceless successes although I  was untrained, straight out of high school and had no background in special education.  I often remember the boy who refused to eat outside his diet of chicken nuggets, french fries, Oreos, chocolate milk and Hawaiian Punch.  He learned to eat fruits, drink water and eat more of what the family ate.  The memory of working with a girl who was four years old who had never spoken is also engrained in my memory.  I was privileged enough to hear her first words and work with her daily to gain confidence in speaking.  Little did I know what awaited me.  I believe that God prepares us for our missions in life.

In my twenties, I married the man of my dreams.  Eighteen months later, we welcomed our first born son into the world.  "C" was an amazing soul; I could feel it.  I knew without a doubt that he was a very special child.  Three days after he was born, the baby blues hit.  Lack of sleep and hormones caught up with me.  I laid in bed a sobbed.  "C" looked up at me and clicked his tongue.  I teach all of my babies to click their tongue when they are hungry, rather than cry.  All three had this down pat within 24-48 hours of birth. As I went to feed "C" I was blown away as he latched on, but this time he did not suck.  Instead, he gazed deeply into my eyes as if with the wisdom of the ages, the compassion of a veteran of hardship and an unmistakable love that pierced my very being.  He was comforting me in the way that I comforted him when he cried.  How could a new born be so selfless?

 I could not deny that my son was special, but I learned to keep my feelings to myself.  I was a young, first time mom.  Of course I thought my baby was special!  Didn't every first-time mom think the same thing?

As the minutes ticked away and hours became days and then weeks, I became engulfed in the reality of my new life.  I would not sleep through the night again for seven-and-a-half years.  My baby cried day and night.  He would not let me put him down.  The only way he would sleep was across my neck for about twenty minutes before the crying started again.  My nights followed a pattern of twenty minutes of sleep - thirty if I was lucky - followed by two or three hours of pacing the halls and trying every trick in the book to get my baby to sleep. Then it started all over again.  I was sleeping  two to four hours a day in twenty minute increments.  I asked doctors, friends, family members and everyone I could think of what I should do.  I was told that some babies are just colicky and that I he would grow out of it. I was a "complainer" and an "exaggerator".  It became difficult to wear a smile in public.  I couldn't engage in chit chat.  I was focused on survival and anything else seemed irrelevant and a distraction from my drive for answers.

 I became a hollow shell of who I once was.  I went through the motions and felt a loss of my identity.  My talents, skills, accomplishments and hobbies didn't matter any more.  I cared for my baby with the same veracity and creativity with which I helped other children in the past, but nothing was changing.  Something was wrong.  I began to lose friends and acquaintances.  It felt like everyone in my life rolled their eyes at me.  I only had one kid while others had several.  My life couldn't be as hard as I said it was.  I just needed to get my act together.  Suck it up; it's only one kid.  They did not believe that there was anything different or more difficult about my child than any other child.  I felt labeled, blown off and unwanted.  I would spend the next six years, feeling judged, pushed away and left to survive mostly on my own.

My husband worked an average of 80 hours per week and traveled fifty percent of the time.  He had no idea what my life was like and was overwhelmed by my narrowness of conversation which came as a pleading for help and expression of exhaustion, discouragement, and loss of self.  As wonderful as he was, I was dragging him down. The last thing he needed when he came home from his stressful job was a wife who could no longer keep the house clean, be all done up when he came home and have a pleasant smile on her face.  Instead, he came home to me un-showered, without makeup, sitting in a messy house with a tear-stained face.  My heart aches for how he must have felt.  It was not fair to him.  It was not fair to me either.  What had I become?  Where was the fun, driven, well kept, spontaneous woman he had married?

Over the next couple years, my marriage became rocky, which is common with autism families.  We couldn't go on a date or have a normal conversation. Watching a movie or going out to a restaurant was no longer enjoyable at best, a nightmare at worst.  No one would babysit for us because as soon as we left we were called to come back.  "C's" behavior was overwhelming even to wonderful, seasoned parents and great babysitters.  It would be over three years before we could leave him with a baby sitter for one hour.

I never gave up.  I never stopped searching and pouring my heart out in prayer and trying everything I could think of to bring a smile to my son's face, teach him skills, and help him to progress.  I gave everything I had while other moms were watching TV, scrapbooking and going on girls weekends, I was researching, and working literally day and night to help my child.

 Why was it so hard to be a mom?  Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a mother.  I still have a plate that I made in second grade.  We were supposed to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up.   My plate proudly proclaims, "I wan't to be a mom!".  I'm sure some of you will view my aspirations as pathetic and less than noteworthy, but it's what I was born to be.  From a young age, I helped to mother my younger siblings. I babysat extensively through my teen years and was a nanny to two families.  I took notes on what I learned from many families, gathered all the information and good advice I could,  and vowed to implement my findings one day when I was a mother.  Children meant the world to me and I wanted to make a difference in the lives of any children that I might be blessed with.  *To be continued*

Chicken Salad Wraps

These wraps are quick and yummy!  Here's Mr. Grumpy helping me heat up gluten-free tortillas on a cast iron skillet.  Autism, Fibromyalgia and Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (MCS) can be caused or exasperated by built up neurotoxins.  Non-stick skillets release neurotoxins in to our food and the air.  Did you know that birds can die if you use non-stick skillets near them? 

Chicken Salad Wraps

2 Cans Organic Chicken
3 Large Celery Stalks
Mayo to Taste

Gluten-Free Tortillas
Favorite Seasoning Salt
Spinach, Lettuce, Avocado, Tomato, etc.