如果可以选择 我将希望 
我这一生剩下的岁月都好像这一个月的生活里扮演的角色
我不会在意永远做多余的角色
我不会介意把一切看在眼里 然后心里酸溜溜
如果这一切已经到了我可以达到的瓶颈
我希望以后的日子 我依然可以那样的走下去

If this’s the only way I can afford to have, I would hope it would last for the remaining years of my life. I don’t mind if I will forever be the extra one. Because I know what I want for the rest of my life.

只要一个星期里 可以给我少少的时间
什么都好了

5月16日开始的每一个周末我都会上课
我不会让自己有失败的借口
如果自己想要把现在的一刻改为永恒
那么我需要成功 就10年的时间 
我的心 在未来10年里 都会为同一个目标前进
我不可以满足于3年的光阴
如果可以的话  我希望这一份幸福将会是一辈子 

10年 我告诉自己不会放弃 
你也不要放弃我

我有多久没有来这里了？
久到我几乎忘记了
我不是没有事情需要记载
而是没有太多的力气把它一个一个字的写下来

值得开心的
25年我终于等到一个人跟我说
：”不用担心，我会帮助你熬过这一切。“
：”现在没问题了，你以后有问题就找我谈。“

认识他 是种缘分
也是上天在25年后终于听见我的心声
一直以来 我都觉得身边没有人可以分担我的压力 心事 
今天我终于有个哥哥般的人物 可以信赖 
他是越南籍法国人 
可能因为我父亲的关系
我对作为一个男人的要求很高
所以对自己要求也是很高
我会很自然的觉得男人就是要有责任感 要扛下身边的一切
一直以来 我自己都做不到心目中的100分
对于这个法国人 我生命里第一次 给一个男人100分
他的过去和我的过去很相似 
他奋斗的过程 就好像25年来的我一样
他今天算是很成功了 父母家人都以他为荣
当然 我还在慢慢的努力 期待有一天能够有好像他那样的成就

当我看见他怎么对待老婆
当我看见他怎么疼爱孩子
当我知道他从前的故事
我才知道 在我眼前就有一个活生生 
和我差不多经历的人
他和家人越洋到法国 逃离越南战争
爸爸从一个教授到了法国就只能做一个普通的华文教师
母亲从一个家庭主妇变成了清洁女工
当然他比我幸运 有一个负责任的爸爸
不过他走过的 吃过的苦 一定不比我少

我和他真正认识不超过一个月 
但不需要太多
两句话 便已经让我感觉到我从来没有感觉过的
我以为在我的世界里 我就一个人逞强着 
怎么和身边的家人朋友诉说 大家都只会觉得：
荣业他，一定可以自己解决问题的。

有谁会真正的觉得我也有需要肩膀的时候？
大家都觉得我什么都可以自己解决
怎么都忽略了 我不过是个小小的人物
我也有需要有人可以替我分担

每一次我都和上天说：
可以有个天使出现 在我需要忠告 意见的时候 来和我说话
在我需要帮助的时候 来扶我一把
就这样 我一定可以走到成功的目的地

今天 这一刻 有个这样的一个大哥哥
在我工作上有难题时  给知识给意见
在我生活上有心事时 给我耳朵 

或许大家走的路差不多一样
所以他总是很容易就明白我的问题

对不起 我很小就期待有个哥哥 有个姐姐
希望那样就可以把我身上的负担卸下

姐姐 我有了一个好表姐 一个好堂姐
哥哥  我终于也有了
一个曾经多么不相干的陌生人 今天竟然成为我有问题时的避风港

别误会 这不是爱情
是我心里长期以来最需要的支柱 

做了哥哥那么多年
有时候做个充满“问题”的弟弟也蛮好
起码，当我不懂怎么办时，有个人告诉你：其实，你可以这样做……..

晚安

塞车的路途上 听着电台播放的歌 感触良多

人啊
有时候因为脑袋太过清醒 回忆才会不停地重播;
往往视觉过于清晰 才会把所有都放在眼里。

大家都说要保持脑袋清醒
人生就因为有时候太过清醒 才会一次又一次的伤害自己。

生活之道
糊涂难得 难得糊涂。
而我什么时候能够学会糊涂。

Only then when I be part of Nestle I know there is so much things that I do not know and there are so many smart people that are seriously far away better, qualified than me. And that’s the type of pool I wanna be in. 

Talking about school days, I chosen to stay in a Monkey Boy school because studying environment is not important to me, be it a top school or low performance school, the syllabus were same, examinations to sit in were same. In different school, but competing in the same manner. 

However at work, specifically my career, I would definitely want it to be challenging and have great people around to keep myself improve. I never think I know the best or know everything though people around used to give compliments generously on my performance. Yet, only I know how much water is filled inside the bottle that I owned. 

3 week in Nestle, is definitely a good start. Though the destination is still far away, long route to go, I should at least feel glad with the good days I had for the past 3 weeks. Life won’t be easy and definitely getting tougher, Nestle is always Nestle, well known with the occupational pressure and stress, yet a great place to work and learn. 

I set myself a goal, short term one. 4 to 5 years I wanna to be in that position. Hopefully I can make it. I will work really hard towards the goal. People say I have a good coach, she is well known and has good reputation in her coaching records. With that I hope, I am Christiano Ronaldo and she is Alex Ferguson. HAHA. 

来到曾经到过的地方
我的脑海里只有零散的回忆 
而感觉却统统不一样了

没有再毛骨悚然 心里也没有一阵阵的忧愁
反而 多了一份现实的心情
心里头想着：“今天的社会 免不了….. “

是我踏入了社会 面对如狼似虎的人类 而习惯冷漠
还是我病痛缠身 变得不再好像以前那般容易感动忧伤

今天 我是去了老人院
陪伴外婆去派发红包 行行善
进入了那小小的礼堂 空气弥漫着一股老人院独特的味道
是药膏味 尿酸味 孤独寂寞的味道？
脑海里散过一切片断 原来我曾经来过

看见一位老婆婆
哦！多少年前 我曾经在同样的地方 同样的角落见过她 
多年以后 她没变
而我却长大了 踏实了
当年我是拖着沉重的心情探望这班老人家 脸上当时挂着的是无比僵硬的笑容
今天我的心情没有多大的起伏 离开时 公公婆婆们一句恭喜发财也换来了我微笑的祝福

我的确25了
我的心情不再容易受影响
慢慢的 我好像变成了一个自私的魔鬼
“不关我的事  就别管…” 
说真的 我还挺常说这一番话~

心静如止水 是否不会再起涟漪？
不时有颗小石头被抛向水面 水花四溅如激情又是否能够长久？

犹如雾里探花 终究昙花一现 
还是乖乖把心收起比较妥当

原有的饥渴慢慢的变成了奢求
然后奢求慢慢的演变成了无所谓

单身原来不可怕
单身原来自由自在
如果我是笑着的说这番话 
有谁能看穿内心的愁容
虽然单身不可怕 又有谁会舍弃有伴相随？

大家都说要战胜恐惧 变要面对恐惧
那么害怕单身 不是更应该学会适应它 这样符合逻辑吧？
硬要找个伴撇离单身 是种逃避 其实更加可悲

得不到想要的 我宁愿不要
怎么要象大家那样 得不到就 改变甚至降低要求？ 

农历新年依旧单身的你
是否害怕面对亲友对你发动一连串的问题
你什么时候交女友？
什么时候毕业，工作，拍拖，结婚，生育？
统统的问题就是喜欢在农历新年要你回答 -.-lll
我告诉了妈 ： 要不就我不去三姑六婆家拜年，要不就我会回答他们，“谢谢关心，不过关你屁事！”

我想要有一个家
我的家要有父母和弟弟们幸福一起
然后我有能力买自己喜欢的汽车房子
还有带家人到处旅游
我想要有一份骄人的事业
行内人都认识我 赏识我
我想要有自己的慈善履历表
希望可以通过任何方式帮助有需要的人
希望能够给于处于绝望的人那么一丝生存的希望

到最后
希望有那么一个伴
愿意陪伴我 接受我的一切好与不好
有那么一个伴
关心我却也给于我实现梦想的空间
有那么一个伴
在我面临苦难的时候 陪伴我经历
也希望有那么一个伴
能够让我人生多一份色彩

倘若远方有那么一个你等待和我相聚 请你加快脚步来到我的面前
要不然请你永远不要出现
因为习惯一个人越久 我会越不懂得两个人应该怎么相处

当然
如果没有福气拥有这个伴

我想我一个人也可以过的很好 …

春节来临 天气总是如此的炎热
走在艳阳高照的街道 期待着阵阵的春风
无奈 春风就是等不到 那样的天气还真让人窒息

最近一个月工作上还非常轻松 也有了多一点的时间
朋友们接连邀约 却被我好不留情的拒绝
对不起嘛  难得有空档 春节来临 有许多事情要准备
而且我有时候也需要一个人独处 反省嘛
这些日子没什么变化
变化大的竟然是我的小小肚腩 它好像膨胀 速度出奇的快 好伤心咯！
脸上痘痘是没几颗 不过总是觉得岁月不留人 真的老了
男生要用护肤品？是不再新鲜的话题了。不过我没有多余的钱花在它们身上 呼呼~ 
多喝水 早休息 ~ 就可以了 (谁不懂?不过很难咯~还难过赚钱买护肤品 哈哈)

二月份隆重宣布是我的假期月
不错嘛  半年工作以后 又有一个月的假期 
三月份就要开工 
好好充电咯
其实我很想旅行 可是没钱~ 

新年让我发个大财啦！Please 

January this year has passed a little bit too fast. In the speed of light, it’s February now. A festive month for all Chinese. Yay! Same like when I was a child, I am always excited and anticipating for the Chinese New Year season, when it’s also the longest festive holiday we enjoy in a year. 2013, a year of Snake of course. We welcome the snake and sending the Dragon off (I’m a Dragon man!).

This year 1st of January, I didn’t write myself a reminiscence of the year 2012 and didn’t even draft my resolution for year 2013. So I would like to spend this moment for doing so… Haha

Dragon year was as challenging and interesting as few years ago. I had my thesis completed and it was granted a distinction grade after two semesters of burning midnight oil. Then I graduated finally, with a First class Bachelor honor in hand. Basically, it was a year about completing my study and starting a new page of my life in career. The main difference comparing to year 2010 and 2011 is that I didn’t fly in year 2012. I was supposed to, but eventually burnt off the air ticket to Bangkok, for the sake of starting the new journey.Second half of the year 2012, I went through a number of job interviews and got a few offer in hand. However, I didn’t make it to the company which I dream of joining. And I thought it was a consolation at least I got into another big company. So I started off my career in August. Sadly, the journey was totally a disappointment since the first day of induction week. All I can say is, the program is not well organized and we were treated like a real fresh dude that know-nothing-at-all. Well, I am not sure about others, and though I was fresh but that doesn’t mean I know nothing at all. The only good thing of the job is attractive salary, and I definitely do not want to be a man who think money is everything (I know money is important. But important does not mean everything.) After six months of service in the company, I finally resigned. 31st Jan, was my last day attached to the company. And you start wondering : Wah this fellow resigned just after 6 months of working. Omg. Has he gotten new job? Doesn’t he needs income to survive? 

Well, of course, I need income. And for that reason, I got another job offer before I resigned. And I really thank God for loving me so much because I finally got my dream workplace after failed the first intake in May. By having this second chance, I realized and believed God has keep everything best for me. And for everything that happened, it happened with a good solid reason. And then I start questioning myself, did I look any difference back in May and now? Yes, indeed. 6 months of working in my previous company has taught me a lot valuable soft skills and indirectly shaped me into a better, flexible dude. I think I am shaper and better now. And the new company I am joining, definitely requires me to be more energetic, shaper and stronger. It is a extreme large pool of challenge. I dare not say I am totally better now, but at least, I learned to smile, keep calm and quiet when there is a conflict. 

You must be curious of the new company I am joining soon in March. But wait, the salary is actually lower this time. But more attractive employee benefits scheme. 

So I will take my February off for holiday and continue my career journey in March. Again, I join them with the same title, Management trainee. 🙂 Company leh? What company lar? Good Food, Good Life. 

Oh ya, some people tell me, “it doesn’t matter where you work, elsewhere is same. The shit is always there, the difference is only its size, color and smell. You need to handle it wherever you go. So be mature!”

And I wanna say: You are right. And don’t get me wrong. I left my previous company for a better reason. I left not because I am immature and can’t handle those shit. The main reason of me leaving the company is because the company that soon I will be joining is my dream workplace. I want to be part of it since the first day I looking for job. So please understand my resignation is mainly due to the attractive workplace that I wanna engage with. Well, I don’t know if I would end up giving up later on, BUT, at least I try, I taste it. Anyway, I think I have no way back, I will head on no matter what kind of shit I meet this time. So don’t worry, just have trust in me. 🙂 

Ok! Done with my career topic. Chinese New Year is coming, 7 days to go! May this Snake year, bring health, happiness, unity and prosperity to my family. 🙂 May all my friends and all who I care, enjoy the festive week and may all your wish come true! 

恭喜发财！

一个晚上两篇文字 
第一篇文字带着希望 感激
第二篇文字 就是这篇 却藏着不一样的心情味道

我啊 很想哭勒！
可是知道哭了 没有帮助 所以狠狠的把眼泪往肚子里吞了下去

这些夜晚我都特别emo 
是寂寞来袭吗？或许吧 
小时候的寂寞是因为没有朋友
长大以后的寂寞 便是没有了爱 比小时候没有朋友还要更煎熬百倍

一定很好奇我怎么既然寂寞 却不接受别人的爱
很简单 因为那份爱 满足不了我内心的寂寞
既然不是我要的 又怎么可以随便接受 来填补内心的空虚？

我其实是开心的 但是开心不代表不寂寞
而寂寞不代表我不开心
和朋友一起我会开心
和家人一起我会开心
我很容易开心 却也很容易寂寞 
一个人的夜晚我很寂寞
一个人的午餐我很寂寞
一个人的逛街我很寂寞
寂寞其实很容易被取代
只要有忙碌 只要有个人相伴 寂寞将不会出现
原来不一定要拥有爱情才能逃离寂寞 
你懂吗？ 

我以为我懂 
写了这篇文字 
其实 哈哈 语无伦次 
我还是不懂 也不想去懂得