This morning in the car, my mom said some insightful and very sweet things, which put in perspective comments like those from last night.
Pinecone and I were discussing what we were seeing as we drove along. Mom commented on how cool it is to watch them learn -- to watch the learning process happen before your very eyes. She said she missed that with us by not being home. That of course she enjoyed parenting, but me and my sister really love it, and that is a wonderful thing to see. In the past she has talked about the experiences she is getting with her grandkids that she didn't have with us. Of course some of that is the privilege of grandparenting, but it is also about her being more present. My sister and her family lived with my folks when her boys were very young, and my mom got to participate in that daily learning with them. She truly values that experience with them, and the bits of it with Pinecone that she gets here and there.
It is always an effort for me to be 40 not 15 when I at my parents house (the same house in which I grew up). Conversations like this help me act my age.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Rantings About My Mom
I am visiting my folks for a week, and feel sheepishly like I need to get out a few thoughts about my Mom.
My mom is a powerful, executive-type, who has mellowed out some in her recent years. She is driven and passionate about her work. She always has been. My whole childhood, Mom worked hard and was defined by who she was in her professional life. My sister and I never felt like we missed anything from that -- her style of being and parenting worked fine for us. Dad was more accessible, but we felt like Mom was involved. So I truly have no issues with being raised by a mom for whom her work was one of her primary foci.
I chose a different route. I chose to take leave from my career for an indeterminate amount of time (though I've never said it, my colleagues and professional friends and clients even call me "retired"). I couldn't have made a better choice for myself, my daughter, my family, and the dreams that S and I had that we put on hold with our both working full-time.
This has been hard on my mom, in some ways. She is very proud of me as a mother. She is supremely proud of the work that I did as a midwife (which is in some ways related to her profession). My choosing to "give it up" to be a SAHM has been hard for her to swallow. She thinks a couple of years is fine, but really has a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that my leave is indefinate, and a couple of years seems way too short to me.
Fast forward to tonight. My dad is the President of his local service club, and tonight was their big annual fundraiser. A visit from Pinecone and I happened to correspond with the big night, so we joined them. Lots of introductions and smiles and breezy comments about my 2-1/2 year old looking for an opportunity to A) win over the crowd, or B) dismantle the whole event. At dinner, I visited with the folks next to me, giving my "background" with a 2 sentence comment on being a midwife, but it being too hard to be on-call with a small child. Then on to my current life: raising my daughter and raising our food. Mom tuned into that last bit only, and felt the need to say pointedly, "Did you tell them about what you did before that?" Meaning, I'm a midwife, and....that's what I should talk about in this situation? Because raising a daughter and raising my own food is NOT as important?
No one knows better than I how amazing and honorable the profession of a midwife is. I am welcomed into families, am involved in their most intimate moments. I hold life in my hands, and at times ward off death. It is no small thing. Who knows that better than I? Only another midwife.
Yet to infer that my current "job" is less important...sigh. I have about worn out all my emotions on this, and feel like I am beginning to just see it as it is and accept it. Her priorities are different than mine. But I am thrilled about my priorities, and have no regrets. If she sees more value in my "profession" that is her own trip. My learning now is to look past that and value her for the loving and giving person that she is. Be an adult, Evergreen, and see her for her own self.
My mom is a powerful, executive-type, who has mellowed out some in her recent years. She is driven and passionate about her work. She always has been. My whole childhood, Mom worked hard and was defined by who she was in her professional life. My sister and I never felt like we missed anything from that -- her style of being and parenting worked fine for us. Dad was more accessible, but we felt like Mom was involved. So I truly have no issues with being raised by a mom for whom her work was one of her primary foci.
I chose a different route. I chose to take leave from my career for an indeterminate amount of time (though I've never said it, my colleagues and professional friends and clients even call me "retired"). I couldn't have made a better choice for myself, my daughter, my family, and the dreams that S and I had that we put on hold with our both working full-time.
This has been hard on my mom, in some ways. She is very proud of me as a mother. She is supremely proud of the work that I did as a midwife (which is in some ways related to her profession). My choosing to "give it up" to be a SAHM has been hard for her to swallow. She thinks a couple of years is fine, but really has a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that my leave is indefinate, and a couple of years seems way too short to me.
Fast forward to tonight. My dad is the President of his local service club, and tonight was their big annual fundraiser. A visit from Pinecone and I happened to correspond with the big night, so we joined them. Lots of introductions and smiles and breezy comments about my 2-1/2 year old looking for an opportunity to A) win over the crowd, or B) dismantle the whole event. At dinner, I visited with the folks next to me, giving my "background" with a 2 sentence comment on being a midwife, but it being too hard to be on-call with a small child. Then on to my current life: raising my daughter and raising our food. Mom tuned into that last bit only, and felt the need to say pointedly, "Did you tell them about what you did before that?" Meaning, I'm a midwife, and....that's what I should talk about in this situation? Because raising a daughter and raising my own food is NOT as important?
No one knows better than I how amazing and honorable the profession of a midwife is. I am welcomed into families, am involved in their most intimate moments. I hold life in my hands, and at times ward off death. It is no small thing. Who knows that better than I? Only another midwife.
Yet to infer that my current "job" is less important...sigh. I have about worn out all my emotions on this, and feel like I am beginning to just see it as it is and accept it. Her priorities are different than mine. But I am thrilled about my priorities, and have no regrets. If she sees more value in my "profession" that is her own trip. My learning now is to look past that and value her for the loving and giving person that she is. Be an adult, Evergreen, and see her for her own self.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Lichen
Pinecone now can consistently tell the difference between different lichens and moss. I pointed it out to her occassionally while hiking, and now she is an expert.
If you read the previous post, this will make sense.
If you read the previous post, this will make sense.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
I AM Here -- Kind Of....
Hi Everyone (or is it Anyone??? Anyone???)
I've been given a rare night to myself, so thought I'd check in. S and Pinecone both went to bed at 8, and for some reason, having S in bed makes me feel like a bachelorette tonight!
So, what's going on? Well, Pinecone is 2 years and 5 months old. She is a huge talker, lots of full sentences and complete thoughts. She is in love with the moon, whom she calls "Luna." She can identify a few birds by their calls. She surprised me the other day by saying, "That's Raven," and she was right -- it wasn't a crow. I'd only recently told her (once or twice) that the big black birds at our house are ravens, but the ones in town are crows. The difference between a raven and a crow seemed too subtle for a 2 year old, but apparently I was wrong. I guess now I can break it to her that half of the "Moss" she identifies is actually lichen.
My "Evergreen Baby"
Yes, she is smart. Yes, I am biased. And, yes, it is very pleasant to spend my days with someone with whom I can discuss ornithology and botany.
She also is a little tyrant at times. Well, she IS 2+. She loves to banish me to the kitchen ("Go back to your kitchen, Mom." Which clarifies that I am to go to MY kitchern, not HER kitchen.). I'd like to think that it's because she appreciates my home-cookin' so much, but I know better.... Though she does compliment my cooking occassionally, "This dinner really good, Mom." Sigh and smile. Today we were reading "Pease Porridge Hot" and got so into it, we had to stop to make some oatmeal with peach jam mixed in -- second bowl of oatmeal of the day. She also enjoyed snacking on raw garlic and sipping vinegar as I was curing olives today. My little Pinecone has some serious tastebuds!
Fresh peas from the garden -- the rare ones that actually made it into the house
This is how we spend our days: We feed our chickens, collect eggs, PC tries to avoid the rooster while we talk about her Dragonfire (her courage and strength), garden if it isn't freezing or raining, color on the chalk board, occasionally I am courageous enough to bust out the paint or play-doh, build chicken coops and houses with puzzle pieces instead of actually doing the puzzles, torturing the dogs and cat (while I am constantly putting them outside, only to find them back in again too soon), cooking and baking (when you've grown 121 pounds of sugar pumpkins, plus another 50 pounds of other winter squash, you eat a lot of baked goods! Vitamin A never tasted so good!), in the afternoon we "Do a little hiking" (her words).
Having a tete-a-tete with The Hennies
Helping me make pumpkin bars.
And I confess I love my electronic babysitter! I never thought I would be "one of those moms", but I am. For about 45 after our afternoon "hike", while I get dinner going she and Elmo or Bear in the Big Blue House spend some quality time together. I rationalize it by saying her day is generally so stimulating and active and interactive that some screen time isn't going to make her brain-dead. The truth is, whatever potential negative affects the tv has (though it's not actually tv) is way better than the frazzled b*tch I used to become at the end of the day.
Feeding "Giant Elmo" (it was a hand-me-down, I swear!) elephant and tiger soup (while sitting in her home-made "boosterseat/carseat/rocketship".
I also love my human babysitter! Another confession: I feel guilty that I am a stay at home mom and I still send my kid to daycare. A friend of mine has a small in-home daycare, and PC goes for about 3 hours once or twice a week. She loves it. My friend has a daughter PC's exact age, and they are good buddies (in fact, this friend has recently arrived at our house as PC's imaginary friend). Meanwhile I can have a bit of time to get involved in something uninterrupted. My other SAHM friends don't do this, but they have family who watch the kids occassionally, and they aren't building chicken coops and cold frames, chopping and hauling firewood, and trying to grow their own food. But they do manage to clean their houses, and I haven't figured that one out yet.
As you can see, I am not much of housekeeper ...
... but fortunately someone likes to clean.
I love being home. I love getting to spend so much time with PC. I love not having to work. I love not being on-call. I love being able to dedicate time and energy and mental space to all these homesteading projects that we always dreamed about. At Thanksgiving, S said he was thankful for my hard work and growing most of the Thanksgiving dinner, and I told him I was thankful for him going to work so I could be home and grow all this food! It's been tight financially for sure, but it really IS the good life. For all of us.
Enjoying the taste of fresh snow
I've been given a rare night to myself, so thought I'd check in. S and Pinecone both went to bed at 8, and for some reason, having S in bed makes me feel like a bachelorette tonight!
So, what's going on? Well, Pinecone is 2 years and 5 months old. She is a huge talker, lots of full sentences and complete thoughts. She is in love with the moon, whom she calls "Luna." She can identify a few birds by their calls. She surprised me the other day by saying, "That's Raven," and she was right -- it wasn't a crow. I'd only recently told her (once or twice) that the big black birds at our house are ravens, but the ones in town are crows. The difference between a raven and a crow seemed too subtle for a 2 year old, but apparently I was wrong. I guess now I can break it to her that half of the "Moss" she identifies is actually lichen.
My "Evergreen Baby"
Yes, she is smart. Yes, I am biased. And, yes, it is very pleasant to spend my days with someone with whom I can discuss ornithology and botany.
She also is a little tyrant at times. Well, she IS 2+. She loves to banish me to the kitchen ("Go back to your kitchen, Mom." Which clarifies that I am to go to MY kitchern, not HER kitchen.). I'd like to think that it's because she appreciates my home-cookin' so much, but I know better.... Though she does compliment my cooking occassionally, "This dinner really good, Mom." Sigh and smile. Today we were reading "Pease Porridge Hot" and got so into it, we had to stop to make some oatmeal with peach jam mixed in -- second bowl of oatmeal of the day. She also enjoyed snacking on raw garlic and sipping vinegar as I was curing olives today. My little Pinecone has some serious tastebuds!
Fresh peas from the garden -- the rare ones that actually made it into the house
This is how we spend our days: We feed our chickens, collect eggs, PC tries to avoid the rooster while we talk about her Dragonfire (her courage and strength), garden if it isn't freezing or raining, color on the chalk board, occasionally I am courageous enough to bust out the paint or play-doh, build chicken coops and houses with puzzle pieces instead of actually doing the puzzles, torturing the dogs and cat (while I am constantly putting them outside, only to find them back in again too soon), cooking and baking (when you've grown 121 pounds of sugar pumpkins, plus another 50 pounds of other winter squash, you eat a lot of baked goods! Vitamin A never tasted so good!), in the afternoon we "Do a little hiking" (her words).
Having a tete-a-tete with The Hennies
Helping me make pumpkin bars.
And I confess I love my electronic babysitter! I never thought I would be "one of those moms", but I am. For about 45 after our afternoon "hike", while I get dinner going she and Elmo or Bear in the Big Blue House spend some quality time together. I rationalize it by saying her day is generally so stimulating and active and interactive that some screen time isn't going to make her brain-dead. The truth is, whatever potential negative affects the tv has (though it's not actually tv) is way better than the frazzled b*tch I used to become at the end of the day.
Feeding "Giant Elmo" (it was a hand-me-down, I swear!) elephant and tiger soup (while sitting in her home-made "boosterseat/carseat/rocketship".
I also love my human babysitter! Another confession: I feel guilty that I am a stay at home mom and I still send my kid to daycare. A friend of mine has a small in-home daycare, and PC goes for about 3 hours once or twice a week. She loves it. My friend has a daughter PC's exact age, and they are good buddies (in fact, this friend has recently arrived at our house as PC's imaginary friend). Meanwhile I can have a bit of time to get involved in something uninterrupted. My other SAHM friends don't do this, but they have family who watch the kids occassionally, and they aren't building chicken coops and cold frames, chopping and hauling firewood, and trying to grow their own food. But they do manage to clean their houses, and I haven't figured that one out yet.
As you can see, I am not much of housekeeper ...
... but fortunately someone likes to clean.
I love being home. I love getting to spend so much time with PC. I love not having to work. I love not being on-call. I love being able to dedicate time and energy and mental space to all these homesteading projects that we always dreamed about. At Thanksgiving, S said he was thankful for my hard work and growing most of the Thanksgiving dinner, and I told him I was thankful for him going to work so I could be home and grow all this food! It's been tight financially for sure, but it really IS the good life. For all of us.
Enjoying the taste of fresh snow
Thursday, September 29, 2011
"It's Nice Day"
One of Pinecone's favorite things to say these days is:
(Sigh) It's nice day.
She says it whether it is pouring down rain and we are soaked or if it is sunny and beautiful out. She mostly says it when we are outside. She knows. What makes a nice day? Being outside with the people and animals you love.
So here are a few recent pictures -- can you believe how big she is? It is my full intent over the next little while to post about the things we did this summer, mainly honey bees, chicks, and the garden. With my little helper in toe, of course.
Watching our friend scale the huge maple tree in front of our house.
Playing in her kitchen. I made it myself! Took me 7 months. That's a whole other post.
The budding artist. Yay for chalk -- cleans up easily!
(Sigh) It's nice day.
She says it whether it is pouring down rain and we are soaked or if it is sunny and beautiful out. She mostly says it when we are outside. She knows. What makes a nice day? Being outside with the people and animals you love.
So here are a few recent pictures -- can you believe how big she is? It is my full intent over the next little while to post about the things we did this summer, mainly honey bees, chicks, and the garden. With my little helper in toe, of course.
Watching our friend scale the huge maple tree in front of our house.
Playing in her kitchen. I made it myself! Took me 7 months. That's a whole other post.
The budding artist. Yay for chalk -- cleans up easily!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A Berry Nice Summer
Judging from Pinecone's enthusiasm for Salmonberries these past few days, I think our summer will be defined as one berry after another comes into season. She has developed an eagle eye for those glowing orange berries tucked into their prickly bushes. And she's even learned to look out for those hidden worms. The conversation goes like this: "That one! That one! Worm all gone. Okay!" Every once in a while it's "Mom's turn."
This afternoon we enjoyed the first strawberries of the summer, and she is learning what "tomorrow" means, as she has to wait for those red berries that aren't quite ready. Sigh. It's so tough to wait.
So our summer will look like: Salmonberry, Strawberry, Thimbleberry, Blueberry, Raspberry, Huckleberry, Blackberry.
Should be good for potty training -- we'll get a lot of poop practice with all those berries.
This afternoon we enjoyed the first strawberries of the summer, and she is learning what "tomorrow" means, as she has to wait for those red berries that aren't quite ready. Sigh. It's so tough to wait.
So our summer will look like: Salmonberry, Strawberry, Thimbleberry, Blueberry, Raspberry, Huckleberry, Blackberry.
Should be good for potty training -- we'll get a lot of poop practice with all those berries.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Peeps Have Arrived!
Our 8 little girls arrived yesterday. 4 Buff Orphingtons and 4 Barred Rocks. All are doing great and are really vigorous. Pics coming soon!
And my 21,000 buzzing beauties arrived about 6 weeks ago, but I haven't had a chance to download pictures, so haven't posted about my honey bees. They also are doing great. Again, pics coming soon!
I doubled our garden growing space from last year (which was double our previous space), and have some things planted: potatoes, onions, peas, broccoli, garlic, beets, carrots, corn, basil, tomatillos and tomatoes. Oh, I guess I have a lot planted now. I just see the seedlings and seed packets still waiting to go out and feel behind, but I guess really I am doing pretty well!
It has been a super busy spring (yes, our spring only started a month ago....).
And my 21,000 buzzing beauties arrived about 6 weeks ago, but I haven't had a chance to download pictures, so haven't posted about my honey bees. They also are doing great. Again, pics coming soon!
I doubled our garden growing space from last year (which was double our previous space), and have some things planted: potatoes, onions, peas, broccoli, garlic, beets, carrots, corn, basil, tomatillos and tomatoes. Oh, I guess I have a lot planted now. I just see the seedlings and seed packets still waiting to go out and feel behind, but I guess really I am doing pretty well!
It has been a super busy spring (yes, our spring only started a month ago....).
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