Dear Santa, All I Want Is A Mini Cooper (with racing stripes)

(This is the mini I created - in Oxygen Blue - on the website.)

I don't know much about them, but they drive like a go-kart (seriously, it says so on the website), they look freaking cool, and they come with racing stripes. I love all things with racing stripes. Workout pants with racing stripes. Scarves with racing stripes. Shoes with racing stripes. There's nothing that doesn't look good with racing stripes. And sunroofs. And chrome gas caps.

Too bad it takes 6 months to deliver Minis. Seriously, 6 months (it says so on the website).

Apple is Genius

So I'm schilling for the company, but I don't care. I just downloaded iTunes new Genius toolbar which creates playlists from your music. You just have to select a song you like and it does the rest. Suddenly I'm listening to all those songs I forgot I had, and let me tell you, I have pretty damn good music taste (I swear I don't know how 3 Enya CDs ended up on my laptop). But it doesn't matter because the Genius toolbar ignores Enya. It has good taste too.

So here's my new workout playlist inspired by Sweet Emotion (inspired by Guitar Hero! Aerosmith!!!) as suggested by Genius.

Sweet Emotion----- Aerosmith
Purple Haze----- Jimi Hendrix
Money----- Pink Floyd
Iron Man----- Black Sabbath
Fly Away----- Lenny Kravitz
Crash Into Me----- Dave Matthews Band
Otherside----- Red Hot Chili Peppers
My Hero----- Foo Fighters
Livin' On The Edge----- Aerosmith
Like a Stone----- Audioslave
Sunday Bloody Sunday----- U2
Touch of Grey----- The Grateful Dead
Jamie----- Weezer
Somebody To Love----- Queen
Walk This Way----- Aerosmith
Ants Marching----- Dave Matthews Band
Foxy Lady----- Jimi Hendrix
American Woman----- Lenny Kravitz
Look What You've Done----- Jet
Soul To Squeeze----- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Girl----- Beck
Shine----- Collective Soul
Rock The Casbah----- The Clash
When I Come Around----- Green Day
Drive----- Incubus

(As you can see, Aerosmith works out too. Or uses heroin, but whatever.)

Badass at the YMCA

I WISH I was the Badass at the YMCA, but no it wasn't me. There was this guy in his 70s (think Sean Connery) wearing a black speedo swimming laps. He was there before me and he finished just about the same time I did. But while I flopped out of the pool, he jumped out and started doing stomach crunches. Badass style. Because that's how he rolls.

And now a few notes on the pool: 1) Swimming makes me happy. Happier than running laps because its more difficult to get sweaty. 2) I use this time to practice running codes in my head (you know code blue ER type codes) because it gets my heart rate up. 3) Someday through swimming and running codes in my head, I hope to be as svelte as the Village People. Then maybe I too could be a Badass at the YMCA.

How the Wii Sucked Us In

After a little vacation from the blog due to a nasty virus/trojan infection, I'm back! (Thanks to the good folks at bleepingcomputer.com who graciously offered their freeware to rid the internet world of another infection.)

So here's what I did with my free time: Guitar Hero! Aerosmith version!!! (As modeled by Joy).


Joy's so obsessed that she bought Guitar Hero even though the Wii was only on loan. And now she's going to buy a Wii. Nintendo doesn't even need to advertise anymore, just let people borrow a Wii for a week and the credit card numbers will come.

UPDATE: In the interest of truthiness, Joy wants me to clarify my post. 1) I have played more Guitar Hero than Joy (true). 2) Joy is obsessed with the Wii, but then so am I - I just don't have the money to buy one (true). 3) I'm a better Guitar Hero than Joy (very very true). 4) As Joy pointed out - no one reads my blog anyway, so none of this matters (not true, but she's jealous of my Guitar Hero prowress).

Christmas Decorating for Apartment Dwellers

So my tree is just slightly bigger than my television and has to jockey for space with our entertainment center, "dining room" table, and our bikes, but I think it looks fabulous. I finally figured out what to do with all those cheesy things I buy while traveling: stick them on my tree! I've had some great reminisces while decorating this year.

Name Obsession

Just because it's a work night and I'm totally exhausted, I'd thought I'd link to something I found interesting. Those who know my family know that we have a few favorite topics of conversation, one of which is totally awful baby names and creative spelling. The other of which is "when is Aunt Kelli moving back to Utah?"

So anyway...here's a look at names. I especially like the Dutch names.

Fun Fact

So I read this really cool article about teaching people CPR. Apparently, if you do CPR to the tune of Stayin' Alive, people remember how to do the procedure with the correct compression rate and depth (100 times per minute, 1.5 - 2 inches deep). One of the paramedics at the hospital told me that her instructor taught them to the tune of Another One Bites the Dust. I think that's unnecessarily morbid.

Someone helpfully created a video for You-Tube. Best line: "Feel the ribs a breakin, you gotta keep your faith and keep 'em alive, keep 'em alive."

Makeover!

Since I will probably never make it to What Not to Wear, I decided to do my own Christmas makeover. Well here you have it: what I look like with makeup. And a Sarah Palin wink.

(Bonus - I also learned to dance!)

"Bill" Endorses Hillary for Secretary of State

This is possibly the best "Bill Clinton" video from SNL of all time. "Bill" gives the best argument yet for why Hillary should be the next Secretary of State. Enjoy.

Sweet Sweet Sondre

I just saw Sondre Lerche at the 9:30 Club and it was sweet - except for the old lady (okay she was in her 40s) who didn't understand the concept of standing room only and told me twice how rude I was to stand in front of her. Her daughter filled her in though and was overhead to tell her that "you can't do things like that Mom." Awesome - she just got schooled! That's how I roll, uh huh.

So anyway, Sondre is sweet and funny and you should check him out.

Domesticated - The Part Where I Cook Again

Banana bread. What a wondrous creation. The secret is to bake the bananas beforehand. Can you believe I even know a baking secret, let alone two? (Readers of my previous posts will recall the shortening secret).

And viola - perfect banana bread and it only took 2 hours to make one loaf.

Off the Juice

I've been off caffeine for two days and its been awesome! I'm sure my co-workers noticed a whole new Kelli yesterday. I was mean and surly for the first several hours and tired and cranky for the last several hours. The only pleasant time was dinner where I took a moment to drink my caffeine free Dr. Pepper. Maybe as a service to humanity, I should find some coupons for Diet Coke (with lime please).

Speaking of bad days at work, check out this guy. But he handles it like a pro.

ER Etiquette

So I learned tonight that ER is in its last season (this cheese has been over-ripe for a LONG time). But it got me thinking about all those Thursday nights in college where the world stopped so we could catch the lastest drama on who's sleeping with whom in the midst of saving lives (cue dramatic music and heart monitor beeps). And I wondered if my job had enough material to be a weekely soap opera. Turns out, the answer is a resounding...no. The ER's too dirty a place to kindle a romantic hook-up.

However, sometimes people do things in the ER that makes my jaw drop. So here's some basic ER etiquette for all you potential patients out there.

1) Don't come into my ER complaining of abd pain with nausea/vomiting and the first thing you ask for is food. If you can eat, you don't need to be here.

2) If you think you might be pregnant, take a pregnancy test at home. No need to get us in the middle of it. And no, we can't tell you the very day and hour of conception so you're going to have to invest in a paternity test in 9 months.

3) If you haven't been making poopy, please try to get things moving at home (google it people).

4) Please, please, please write down your meds. We don't know which med is in your little pink pill you take every morning. They can't all be as well known as the little blue pill you take every weekend (wink).

5) If you're going to get drunk, please do it from the safety of your own home. And if you're passing out in front of liquor stores, it may be a sign from God that it's time to pull an Amy Winehouse and go to rehab.

6) Finally, if your doctors are looking at you like this, it's probably because you've done something really embarrasing and all the hospital staff wants to get a look (I think half these guys are from housekeeping).

Utah Cookies

I finally raided the Kay Family Cookbook for an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie recipe. And let me tell you, it was delicious! What's the difference between a regular cookie and a Utah cookie? The secret is shortening. I'm going to learn to cook yet!

Oh Daniel Craig...

While Joy was in the hospital, I snuck out to watch the new James Bond movie. And it was awesome. I'm glad they've dropped the skeezy sex scenes with the bimbos/nuclear scientists (I'm wagging the finger of shame at you Denise Richards) and the double entrendres coming faster than speeding bullets.

Daniel Craig suggested that it's time for a black Bond (after Obama was elected president), and that Prince Harry would make a good Bond. I can see it. What do you think?





"Really? Prince Harry?," you're thinking. "I don't know. What does he look like with his shirt off?" Well the Globe and Mail leave nothing to the imagination.

Through the Looking Glass

So Joy's home from the hospital and feeling much better (YAY!) and I've gained a whole new perspective on the hospital floor from the patient's perspective. First, getting meds after 11pm sucks. No one should be woken up at 3am to have antibiotics started. Second, having to wait for your nurse to arrive to unhook you from the IV so you can use the bathroom also sucks. I vow to try to answer those call bells faster if I can. Third, it's amazing the difference good staff makes. I was so impressed by the people at VHC - even the housekeeper was fantastic! And it was so organized. They hid most of the wires, monitors, and equipment behind counters and cupboards, but it was still easy for staff to get too. Definitely a left-brained hospital.

Finally, a picture of my nursing skills: I taped up Joy's IV so she could take a shower. Look how excited she is! If there's one thing I've learned in nursing it's the value of additional tape. And a stylin' hospital gown to make a girl feel pretty.

Domesticated

In an effort to beautify our apartment, we've made a trip to Ikea. And Best Buy. Check out the new kitchen storage, spice rack, and the flat panel TV. Guess which one is getting the most use from me? Although I do love organizing the spice rack. It appeals to the left brain in me. However, in an attempt to broaden my domestic art horizens, I'm watching Two Fat Ladies. It's British PBS and these ladies are fascinating! Especially when they flirt. Thanks Joy for ordering it on Netflix!

Hair Day

I was inspired by a friend's blog to change my hairstyle. See if you can spot the difference in the picture. I parted my hair to the right! I never realized until today that my hair was left brained as well. My life is never ending excitement.

Celebration at the White House

So I just found out that I was at the White House celebrating Obama's victory with Joan Baez on Nov. 4th (among thousands of others who thought ticker tape parades should be brought back along with candy pink refrigerators). I have never seen DC so happy. I have never been in a friendlier place. Eat your heart out Disneyland. Here are two videos of places that I went to celebrate on election night. Not having a camera, I've relied on You Tube. Thanks You Tube!







Lastly, I'll never forget being on U street in DC frozen in a moment as we all gathered to listen to Obama's victory speech. People were spilling out of bars, others were blasting it out on speakers from souped up SUVs so we could all hear. Every car honked (including mine) in a three syllable tatoo: O-ba-ma, honk-honk-honk, O-ba-ma.

A Biennial Post

To cap off an entire 2 seasons of non-blogging, I've decided to open up autumn with a few words: Obama, Daily Show, and Election Maps. I'm obsessed. But in a good way - not in a secret service file, continuous FBI observation of a stalker kind of way.

These are the best sites I've found to plot your own electoral map like a James Bond supervillian plotting to take over the world.
fivethirtyeight.com
Yahoo Political Dashboard
USA Today Election Map
NY Times Election Map

Have fun!

The Interns Edit AccuWeather

Accuweather has been taken over by interns who place economy of words over making sense. The article "East Woes From West Storm" has the best opening lines ever (not to mention the best title ever). Check out the opening paragraph:

"A powerful storm will continue to blast California with rain, burying mountain snow and howling winds today. Beyond the weekend, the storm will return more accumulating snow and severe weather to places east of the Rockies."

I didn't know that there was a "burying mountain snow" storm option. I thought types of snow storms were limited to "blizzards", "whiteouts", and "blanketing" among others. I wonder if "burying mountain snow" is like a category 5 hurricane?

To Barak and Beyond

To My Candidate, An Apology:

Dear Senator Obama, I'm sorry that I forgot to go to the polls at 6AM on primary day. I had planned to vote early because I worked that day and wouldn't get off before the polls closed. But when I woke up that morning, I forgot. I was so excited to vote too. It reminded me of my first time voting absentee while sitting on top of a warm dryer at my campus laundromat.

However, it turned out all right - a sweep of the Potomac Primary's! Congratulations! I vow right now, that no matter what happens on voting day on November, I'll be there to cast my ballot for you.

Meanwhile, check out the Obama swag and maybe some of his platform. And now a little clip from the first time I heard Obama and fell a little in love.

Let's Indulge the Right Side of the Brain

I'm not sure where the pleasure centers of the brain are located, but I wanted to indulge in a little right-sided love poetry for one of my favorite things: Diet Coke.

An Ode
Oh Diet Coke with your limey goodness,
Bubbles bursting, breaking, yearning, reaching for my nose.
I drink you in tribute to your effervescent nature,
You delightful, dear, wonderful, refreshing secret formula.

Badly done poetry is the surest sign of undying love. I look forward to my evening drive to work, with NPR on my radio, my stick shift in 3rd, and a diet coke in hand.

And now a musical tribute to Coca Cola and mixed up men named Lola.

I Am The Working Poor

So as my first blog entry, I want to tell you about taxes. Because who collects more fun facts than the IRS? The Encyclopedia Britannica - true. However, the E. B. isn't relevant here and they can't ruin you financially, so I'm ignoring them for the moment.

Being the geek I am, I did my taxes yesterday a full 2 months and 10 days before the deadline. Being the American I am, I've already spent my tax refund in my head. Lucky day for me, making almost no money last year actually qualified me for the Earned Income Tax Credit. Uncle Sam has declared me a part of the working poor. I will now be accepting alms, donations, gift horses, and all other gratituties your rich guilt feels the need to bestow.