Tight lipped

Dang. It's been a minute. Or longer since I've posted. Oops. Things have been boring yet wild. Contradictory eh?
I wish I had more that I could update on here. Had I kept some anonymity with this blog it might be different. I've got stories to tell and things to say but not here. I'm not ready just yet. My head hasn't fully stopped spinning and it stills seems unreal.
I'm still not a mom so don't worry, you didn't miss that update. There isn't a babe in my arms keeping me from typing up a storm. Not yet anyway. My marriage is still intact. I'd actually dare to say its thriving. Never been better. :)
Hope all is well with everyone and that the holidays were kind to you. May this new year bring you peace, happiness and all your hearts desires.
Much love.

~Maren


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Coping

Skydiving to help maintain sanity. Father in laws 50th bday event. :)


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Stagnant

That's how life feels these days. Stagnant. It's weird. I've attempted to blog but I keep coming up blank. There are stories to be told but I don't know if I can talk openly about them. It sucks but here goes some super vague info... We were chosen. She is AWESOME. She chose to parent. We still love and support her and hope to continue to as she parents her precious baby. Shortly after we were chosen again. A week later things fell to pieces. The relationship we were building with her came crumbling down as trust was lost and lies were told. We're now back to waiting. I'm tired of waiting. If you tell me 'it'll happen' or something to that effect I may very well bitch slap you. It's getting very old hearing the same old well meaning phrases. :( Today I started looking into other agencies and Parent. Profiles. While they'd both bring more expenses it seems like it's time to pursue more options. Or wait forever. LTL is getting antsy. Or so it seems. He checks out profile view count a lot. Like I used to. It breaks my heart. It's been hard to be on FB. And Twit.ter. Hell it's been hard to read blogs. While I'm so happy for those that have been able to bring home their 'little' it's hard to not be jealous and feel like it's never going to happen for us. I'm not really sure where I fit in the IF blogging world anymore. We're not pursuing IF treatment, we're not parenting, we haven't adopted, no more surgeries, etc etc.

I didn't even realize

On the 16th of March marked our 2 year anniversary from the azoo diagnosis. How crazy is that? We've survived this much. We can handle anything. :)

I've been meaning to post an update on all that's happened. I'll get to it. I promise. Things have just been kind of crazy. (No, unfortunately we don't have our baby..YET. We're hoping it happens soon.) I have a post saved on my phone and need to edit it a smidge then it'll make it's appearance.

Hope all is well with everyone. I'll get back to posting/commenting soonish, I hope.

Quote

'Please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever.'

DIETER F. UCHTDORF



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