Pain = Growth

At this point in my training plan, the weekly mileage has been in the upper 40's and rising.  In the early stages, slow and steady miles were important to gain strength and stamina, but not any more.  Now that I've got a good base to build on, the pace becomes as important as the mileage.  For the past two weeks I've struggled, cried, complained, moaned, and painfully dreaded several workouts yet lived to tell about them.  

There's an imaginary line drawn into my workout sessions where on one side of that line I'm running hard but it's bearable.  The other side of that line, it's a dark place I only visit if someone pushes me over.  That side is the point of no return, it's the place where my ribs are hurting from sucking wind, my quads feel like 3rd degree burns, and my intestines feel knotted and hurling my breakfast (or GU packets) is a regular practice.  I toe that line here or there, but I have a deep fear of crossing it.  That dark side gives me the chills, I hate pain and puking, BUT it's also where I need to go if I want to see progress.  If I want to get faster, stronger, more competitive, then I need to learn to cross that line with courage.  Moral of this story?  Watch where you step if you're on the trail.......I've been crossing that line this week!!

Fear can live within each of us when it comes to working out, that's normal!  It can be a fear of working out in front of others, a fear of being the slowest runner in the group, a fear of wearing shorts for the first time, a fear of failing or not completing a workout.  I understand those fears, been through them all at some point or another, they are legit.  Fear can eat you alive, it can keep you from reaching goals or your potential, not starting a workout or a new diet plan, it can capture you and leave you feeling trapped within yourself.  My challenge to you is to look that fear dead in the eyes and push forward.  Break free from that trap:  go to that gym, run with that group, push your body to the max, wear those shorts like no one's business, just DO it and see what lies on the other side for you.

My dearest friend (the one I'm training to do her first 5K) has shared many of her fears of working out, they are legitimate fears that have kept her bound for way too long.  I'm so proud of her for stepping out in faith, out of her comfort zone in order to reach goals that will bring her better health and longevity.    There are just 8 days until our race together, only 8!!!  She has worked so hard, succeeded in so many ways, reached levels higher than she imagined, and surpassed every goal we set in her training plan!!  But with the race looming over her head, there are new fears popping up and anxiety levels that are getting harder for her to maintain.  Breathe....Just Breathe.   Don't think about the finish line, just think about what got you to the starting line, just think about the baby steps we've taken to get to this point and rely on those accomplishments to fuel your faith.  I'm honored to be running with her next weekend and I'm beyond excited to look at her face when we cross that finish line, that will be a moment I wouldn't want to miss.

Happy training, fight fear with faith, cross over to the other side.

Mantra for my friend this week:  "The miracle isn't that I finished.  The miracle is that I had the COURAGE to start."

Finally

In late November, my poor Apple desktop completely crashed.....finished....done....gave up.  It was old, worn out and tired, but it kept me in touch with the world and I liked it (even though it was slower than molasses!)  My android phone gets internet and email, does a few fancy things, but you simply can't type an entire blog entry on that little thing and expect yourself to be headache free when you're done, so I've been out for a bit.

I'm happy to report that on Friday, my husband surprised me with a new Apple iMac that feels like a Cadillac compared to what I was working with before, my goodness it's fast!!  I'm smitten.  So, I'm back in touch with reality, the blog world, internet, pictures, etc!!

As for running?  There's about 8.5 weeks to go before the Tobacco Road marathon and I'm starting to feel like I'm in a good pattern, finally.  The past several weeks have been spent running many miles on hilly trails and at slower paces, it's all good but I hate feeling so slow.  Those miles were important for building strength, stamina and endurance, so I get it.  But, we're moving on to the next phase....miles plus pace and I'm looking forward to the new challenges this will bring.

Yesterday was the end of this week's training that concluded the 48 mile week with a long run of 20 miles.  It was honestly the first long run that felt good, great even.

icy bridges early morning

steam rising off the trail

Yes it was long, but I was both surprised and happy with how my body felt.  I realized that my legs felt strong, my heart rate under control, my breathing very easy and steady, so really it's all about my head.  It's easy to talk yourself out of a hard run or tell yourself to walk when you should push harder, it's more mental than physical.  I felt physically strong and capable yesterday so all I needed was the mental part to join in, it came together like a harmonic symphony!  Finally....at last....ahhh....





Not every run will be harmonic, feel great, or go well, that's why I don't run based on "feelings."  I run with my schedule in hand, follow the plan, do it even if it doesn't feel good.  Monday didn't feel good, I was sucking wind, cursing the track with every stride, and absolutely hating the run....really hating it.  It's those tough days and hard work outs that make you stronger, so suck it up and get it done.  Your day of happy running will come.  My mantra on Monday was "Shut up and Run," but my mantra on Friday was "Think strong, Be strong, Finish strong."

I'm not at the pace I want to be yet, but I know it's coming, I'm working for it.  I'm just thankful it was a great run on the trail, especially when I had to run it solo!!  

The end of 2012...

Well, this is it....the end of the year 2012!  It's a great time to reflect, journal, appreciate, re-live, review, and then it's time to move on.

A few stats of 2012 include:

*Ran just a smidget over 1400 miles in 2012, that's about the distance from my house to Amarillo, Texas. :)
*Completed 3 marathons, one of which was a new PR and a Boston qualifier
*Finished my first ever outdoor Tri (placed 2nd in my age group!)
*Ran the Boston Marathon for the first time, a dream come true!!
*Ran a 25K with my dad, who is now 65 yrs old. :)
*Set a new PR in the half marathon on a hilly course, a qualifying time for NYC marathon!
*Joined forces with some fabulous running women who inspire me to be a better runner
*Unsuccessfully potty-trained our 3 yr old
*Kept a running journal for the entire year, that's a first!
*Developed a training program for my dearest friend that inspires me everyday
*Got my daughter to run a 4 mile race (as long as her boyfriend did the race too)
*Did the annual sister's Thanksgiving race, which I look forward to each year

I'm thankful for the events of 2012, truly, but I also look forward to achieving new goals and aspirations in 2013.  It's good to set goals for yourself, it gives you something to work toward and strive for.  Without goals, how do yearn for something greater?  What can you challenge yourself to in 2013?  Is it losing 10, 20, or 50 lbs?  Is it running for the first time ever?  Is it striving to work out at the gym 3 times/week?  Is it eating healthier meals?  I challenge everyone to consider at least 3 health related goals you can set for yourself for 2013, 3 things that will make you a better, healthier person.  Write these goals on your calendar, diary, journal, computer, iPad, iPhone, and make a plan to help you acheive them.  Spend Jan 1st making a plan to help you live longer, be healthier, be happier.

Websites I enjoy using to help me stick with a workout plan include:  Runpartner.com, Runner's world gives you a free Training Journal if you subscribe to their magazine, Mapmyrun.com, Garmin's websites (that go with the Garmin watches), and a plain old paper calendar that I hang by my computer and only use it for my workout schedules (sits next to the family calendar).

Good luck to everyone planning for 2013, get motivated to do it!!!

Mantra:
I choose running (walking, working out, you fill in the blank)  Make it YOUR choice

Holy struggle....

I suppose, having had such a great run on Friday, I may have gotten a little carried away and paid the price for it this morning!  That euphoric feeling of accomplishment, satisfaction and success carried over into Sunday morning, and as I ventured out to my usual trail spot, I actually looked forward to another great run.  The "easy pace" session that usually begins with me banging on my Garmin because I swear it's not registering correctly, turned into a shockingly faster pace that felt more comfortable than I'm used to!  Conquering hill after hill wasn't so bad, passing other runners was a bonus, and the new songs I downloaded onto my iPod provided a few new beats worth running to.  It was all good, except that what I neglected to think through were the tougher workout sessions scheduled from Mon-Wed that might leave me regretting my stupidity of getting caught up in the euphoric moment.  I should know better, honestly, I've done this enough times!  So, what should have been a 4 mile relaxed run ended up being more of a 5.5 mile tempo run that dumped a little too much lactic acid buildup in the hamstrings/quads......yes, that's what I was feeling this morning....ugh.

Today's plan (after hobbling out of bed) was a 3 miles warm up at "easy pace" leading into 15 x 1 min at threshold pace (with 1 min recovery jog in between each), followed by 3 miles at easy pace.  The warm up was both slow and painful, minutes spent tackling knots left behind by the lactic acid buildup and morning stiffness.  Then the fun began as I attempted to crank up the speed one minute at a time, sucking wind and feeling the struggle with each one.  By the 6th one, my ribs were hurting, side was aching, quads were crying, and my brain was doubting!  The added humidity and warm temps AGAIN did nothing for me, it was a good thing Jamie was there to keep us going.  There are "easy pace" days for a reason, it's to let the body recover and rejuvenate (harder to do as you age!)  I did not to that effectively, very noticeable by sprint number 9.  The Garmin was all over the place, registering anywhere from 7:07's to 8:15's and back to 7:20's, not very consistent to say the least!  If Jamie had not been there, I'm not sure I would have accomplished all 15 sprints, it was an ugly run.  Finally, the last one followed by a VERY slow 3 mile cool down.  Completed.  Sucked.  Yuck.  Awful.  Done.  Finally.  

I had looked forward to running on a flat course today (first time in 3 wks!), but I'm almost certain that my legs found the flat terrain more difficult than the hills.  Every moment felt hard, I really wanted to quit.  But, I'm type A and I keep a running calendar and I can't cross off today's workout plan if I didn't complete it, so there you have it.  Finishing this workout was agonizing, but after completing it, I felt accomplished, satisfied.  It's through these struggles that I'll become more efficient, mentally stronger, a better runner and I'll gain a confidence to carry me through even tougher workouts.  It's important to push beyond what you think you're capable of doing, to test the boundaries and to see what lies on the other side, and to learn where your inner strength comes from.  After struggling through this workout, I emailed my coach and asked him if he had made a mistake in the number of sprints I was to perform, maybe he had it wrong.  I explained how hard it was and how I wasn't sure if I could get through all 40 miles that are on my plan for this week.  BUT, now that I've had some time to reflect, I know that this is good for me.  I shy away from tough workouts, I despise them, but they are necessary if I want to achieve my goals.

Today's mantra:
Shut up and Run  (because I need to hear that and because my parents NEVER let me say the words "shut up" when I was growing up, so now I want this on my t-shirt)

Tomorrow, Meredith will NOT have any empathy for my tired body/muscles and she will push me to finish an entire hour of weight lifting, so I'd better relax now while I can.

It's about time!!!

I can't believe I finally had a great run!!  Today's long(ish) run was the best one I've had in weeks, and it's about time!  The plan was to run 10 miles (on a hilly course) and included 2 x 10 min at threshold pace (about a 10k pace) after the first two mile warm up, then an easy pace to finish out the run.  I'm not very good at running for time vs running for mileage, it has thrown me for a loop but I'm starting to enjoy it.  

When I started the first 10 min challenge, I wondered how I'd push myself to run 7:35-7:52 paces up and down these hills, what would drive me?  Just minutes into it, my Garmin kept showing 7:30's (shockingly!) so I kept pushing.  The trail is unforgiving with its curves, hills, thick leaf covered patches, muddy spots that attempt to slow your pace, but yesterday I took over.  I was surprised by how strong my legs felt, how upright my positioning was, and how quickly I became lost in the music blaring in my ears.  Oh was it ever fabulous, it's really about time!

The second 10 min stretch wasn't quite as fast, but still hovered between 7:55-8 and also hit bigger hills at this point.  Once finished, I had about 5 miles left of the run to be done at "easy pace," allowing me to catch my breath and enjoy the morning scenery.  The time flew by, the run continued to feel positive (not easy, but good) and my legs still felt strong up and down the hills, WOW!  

It's been so long since I've had this type of run, I nearly forgot what it felt like!  That being said, you might be wondering why I run if it doesn't feel good?  Yes, that thought has crossed my mind a time or two as well.  You can't expect every run or workout to go as planned, to feel great, to be easy, or to give you that euphoric feeling.  It may take weeks to build up quad/hamstring strength through lots of painful squats/lunges, stair climbing, hill workouts, etc.  Those weeks may be intense, the pain may stick around for days after the workouts, you may hate doing the exercises, but then one day when you put your body to the test............well, that's when you get that incredibly euphoric rush and it keeps you coming back for more.  Stick with the plan, sweat a little, work hard because the time will come when you surprise yourself by conquering something you never thought you'd be able to do.

Today's mantra came from a post on Another Mother Runner...
I am stronger than I thought I was.

Reflection = Inspiration = Production

I can't believe it's nearly Christmas and the end of 2012 is around the corner, where has the year gone?!   This was the first year I actually kept a running journal for the entire year (thanks to the Runner's World training journal book I got free with my subscription!)  I've enjoyed looking back at the training I've done, miles run, the hours spent on foot, the paces I struggled at and where I was just 5, 8, 10 months ago.  It's funny to read that on Jan. 6 I had the flu but managed to still put in a 33 mile week, what was I thinking?  It's amazing to see that I logged just over 570 miles between Jan and April and completed 2 marathons.  It feels terrific to note that so far, my total miles for 2012 are just over 1300 (which includes time off during the summer).

I find it inspiring to go back over the past year and reminisce, see where I've been and where I'd like to be, and learn from both mistakes and triumphs.  There were highs and lows of 2012, but the one thing I've learned is that you just keep pressing on.  "Keep fighting, drive harder, believe in yourself, find empowerment to be better, struggles mean progress, and just be the best you can be," it's like a really long mantra for those really long runs.  :)   The journal is a tool, a way of keeping track of successes and failures, a way to remind yourself of how you climbed Mt Everest when you thought you couldn't even make it to the mailbox.  I believe I will keep a journal for 2013 as well, I encourage you to keep one too.

This is week 3 of training, and the beginning of workouts that don't include the words "easy pace" anymore.  Monday, for instance, meant running 2 miles of rolling hills followed by 6 x 1 min climbs up an enormous hill, followed by 2 more miles of rolling hill running, followed by a really long, hot shower.   It went well, it was just harder than I had anticipated and the added heat/humidity/fog just didn't help.  Wednesday, a cooler morning and a 5:30am run start, was tougher!  Keeping an 8:15 pace (rather than an easy 9min) on gentle rolling hills for 6 miles nearly killed my hamstrings!   My training plan said to run 55-65 min at an easy pace, but since I ran with a friend and her plan said to run 6 miles, I thought I'd just go with that.  BUT, since we finished in 49 min, I fell short of my plan's requirements......hmmm.  Running 6 miles at a faster pace should be equivalent to running 55-65 min at a slower pace, but in my head I was struggling with these numbers and my plan.  So, after heading home, having breakfast, bringing the kids to school, I went back out and ran 15 min in my neighborhood.  Completely satisfied after that!!  Today is a REST day (awesome) and Friday will be a long run day (on hilly surface with tempo running!)  I look forward to the struggle.

Your workout is what you make of it, do it all the way!

"You're the Inspiration...." remember that song?

Two things were absolutely fabulous yesterday, there were other good things, but there were two things that really struck me as incredibly significant....both led me to tears (ok, I cry easily).  I share these as inspiration for the day.

Item numero uno!  My most fabulous friend, "bestest" friend, that I'm working with called yesterday.  She proceeded to tell me that for her long run, she not only veered away from the training plan, she cremated it!  Instead of doing cycles of run/walking, she decided to see just how strong she was by letting her body just go, letting it run as far as she could without stopping!  She not only ran past the 9 minutes she was supposed to have run, but she kept going and ended up pushing it into a 2 mile run!!  This news was utterly amazing, extremely significant, monumentous to say the least!  After 18+ weeks of training, diligently sticking with the workout plans, suffering through pains and doubts, it has all paid off.   We are well on the road to her first 5K race in over 20 yrs!!

I shed some tears after our conversation because really, this is what it's all about.  It's about making the choice to suffer, to struggle through doubts and fears and come out a stronger person.  It's about the effort it takes to put yourself out there in an uncomfortable circumstance or situation that causes you to grow and stretch.  It's about persevering through troubled times and finding joy in things you normally don't enjoy.  My friend is amazing.  She's so much stronger that what she believes, she's so inspiring to me and others, and her journey is just beginning to unfold.  I'm proud of her, I'm learning from her, and I absolutely LOVE that I can be a part of her journey and share in it with her (cry sometimes too).  New motto?  Yep, hers is "Suck it up and RUN!"

Item numero dos!!  I received a Facebook message the other day from a friend I haven't seen in almost 20 yrs.  I quickly browsed through the message until I realized that her words were bringing tears to my eyes, so I re-read it more carefully.  Another person on a difficult journey of finding health, wellness, and happiness and looking for support.  In this message, she said "I really have to make a change in my life and am ready to do it. I know now may not be the best time of the year to begin trying to learn how to run with winter fast approaching, but honestly I could find an excuse for any day not to exercise."    Now isn't this true of all of us?  Can't we all find an excuse NOT to exercise?  It is about making a choice, deciding to change our lifestyles, patterns, diet, habits, etc.  My friend, you are not alone in this.  I'm proud of you for deciding to make a change (yes, Michael Jackson inspired line) and no time like the present to do it!  Find a companion, a support system, a partner in crime who'd like to join you on a journey to good health too and be an accountability partner.  

These inspiring stories made it a little easier to roll out of bed at my 4:30am wake up call.  4:30 gives me enough time to eat, stretch, gather my items and drive on over to a friend's house (a crazy friend who also enjoys running in the dark of night) for a 5:15am 10 mile run.  I have come to enjoy running in the early morning hours because it provides a sense that all is at peace in the world, everything is quiet and still, even the birds have not begun to chirp.  Your voice echos, your headlamp cuts through the darkness and lights up a small portion of your trail, your breathing is seen with the morning chill, all the houses are dark and cars are parked and traffic has not yet begun, it's amazing!  The beauty of it begins as the sun slowly makes its way up the horizon, over the trees, and illuminates the sky with brilliant colors of orange, pink, and yellow.  It's so breath taking, it never gets old, and it makes the 4 1/2 hr night sleep absolutely worth it.  Running early with a friend is the best way to start the day, followed by some caffeine to keep you awake while you scurry to get your children ready and off to school, and if you're lucky, a 15 min power nap in the pick up line!

Motto today?  "I choose Running."