“There is a line you are not supposed to cross.”<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\nI believe that not every friendship is meant to go deep. Over the years I recognised that some friendships are meant to be situational, kind of “survival” friendships for that period. They are not worth any less, by no means, they just simply may not go that deep or go on for long after. Nevertheless, are they super important and vital to make your new place your home, to feel connected! We simply cannot have deep friendships with everybody we cross paths with. Friendships differ and that is ok!\u00a0But hopefully you find at least one person where you feel you can “cross” the line. And perhaps the person opposite is just waiting for somebody to cross the line, to be able to open up, too. Don`t dismiss that thought, keep it close to you!<\/p>\n
By\u00a0holding back and thinking that there is “a line we are not supposed to cross” we may actually\u00a0miss out on some special connections!<\/strong> At times I feel myself doing that, holding myself back, not opening up. \u00a0And I do indeed feel I that missed out on making some deeper friendships in the past. Something I do regret.<\/p>\nAnd if indeed you\u00a0feel that \u00a0you cannot cross the line but you\u00a0feel good by having the person around you, then that is ok, too. Not every friendship will and has to go deep. Some friendships and connections are meant for the moments when we “go to cafes together and set up afternoon playdates.” Do not dismiss them, they are vital, too, especially when you are an expat and move around often, or live in a place with high turn over!<\/p>\n
2. “[…] desperately turning small moments from the past into meaningful ones.”<\/em><\/p>\nThis part really got to and saddened me as she goes on with “nobody here can give him the eulogy he deserves.” Again I get where she is coming from but do not disregard\u00a0the small moments! It is not always about the amount of time we spend together with somebody!<\/p>\n
I often find the small moments the most meaningful ones. More often than not it was a small encounter, gesture, chat, coffee talk that uplifted and inspired me the most. Do not dismiss the small moments as they can be the most powerful ones!<\/strong> And if you can touch a person with small moments it may actually\u00a0mean the world to him\/her!<\/p>\n3. “Although my life is filled with wonderful,\u00a0colourful people, they are\u00a0temporary people.”<\/em><\/p>\nWe can’t always plan to meet THE ONE with every move, and it may take time to find that person. But you never know from the beginning, so never see a person as temporary only. I found some of my best friends years ago, we crossed paths, shared meaningful, wonderful and tough moments, and even with\u00a0thousands of kilometres apart over several years now we still remain close and they know more then anybody around me. And with others I may not be close regularly but I know they are there if there is ever any need!<\/p>\n
I may add to that that I did have some wonderful and deep meaningful friendships at times and thought they would go beyond but then they\u00a0did not. There is no real reason for that only perhaps that life got in between. But I do not dismiss what we had, it was wonderful and I am absolutely sure that if we should ever meet again we would go on where we left off. But what I am saying is \u00a0you never know so please\u00a0do not view friendships as temporary, they do not have to be!<\/strong>\u00a0And that “temporary” thought will automatically make you hold back.\u00a0I have been there, done it and as mentioned before I think I missed out.<\/p>\nAfter sharing the Washington Post article on my Facebook page a friend wrote back “There are both deep friendships and deep loneliness” (in the expat life) and I may add to that “a lot of in-betweens”. But I noticed as well that you will rarely meet anybody who will turn you down if you are in need, or if you “cross the line.” But this is two sided. Too often we want to appear strong, optimistic, energetic. We do not want to let others see the other side of us; we do not want to appear vulnerable,<\/strong> especially when we are new somewhere, when we are out there making new friendships! We seldom let our guards down, thinking we cannot “cross the line”. But if and when we do incredible friendships can blossom, not only\u00a0temporary but\u00a0sometimes for life!<\/p>\nDear all out there, dare to cross the line, ask for help, support if and when you feel you need\u00a0it, do not hold back! Asking for support does not make you weak, it makes you stronger!<\/p>\n
Yours,<\/p>\n
AK<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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<\/p>\n