Ever since Nathaniel decided we would save money by doing our own pest control, I have become a bit of a pesticide junky. I've lived in the desert for 5 years now and still can't stomach the summertime cockroach thing, nor the black widows that come to feast on them, and I take it very personally when they intrude on my home so I keep a constant barrier of pesticide between us. I definitely encounter less cockroaches now, but the ones I do encounter seem to be getting bigger.
Finally, Goliath appeared on my wall in broad daylight and I realized my pesticide may be contributing to a stronger, mutant bug being the only one resilient enough to survive and reproduce. This is him. It is difficult to show the scale, but he is approximately 3 inches long.
So I gave him a good direct dowsing with pesticide, and then called the boys out to see him. "Is he dead?" Haven asked.
"No, but he's dying," I said victoriously, "I just sprayed him with poison."
"Oh, is he sad?" Hyrum asked.
"Maybe," I conceded. I supposed if he could feel sad he would be feeling it about now.
"He sad because mommy said, 'no'," Hyrum continued.
"Maybe he wants his mommy," Haven added.
By now I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the Philistine so I took the boys inside while we awaited the death sentence to be carried out. Even Nathaniel thought it was cruel of me since it wasn't yet inside the house and he thinks it would have eaten the other cockroaches had I spared its life.
But all my sympathy was vanquished last week when I was brutally attacked by another one the moment I stepped on my porch after a long trip in Utah. It turns out they can fly! Or maybe that is just the most recent improvement of the species since my last barrage of pest control. And it landed in my hair! They may not feel sadness but it is clear they know all about vengeance.