Memorial Memory (Part deux!)

So as mentioned before, I drove us home on Sunday whilst Sean stayed to finish his tournament...which i might add they bull-dozed everybody and WON their league. Go babe!  Im so sad i didn't get any pictures of them playing.

   My sister Brittney and fam flew out from Georgia that weekend and I finally saw them on Memorial day at my parents house.  We were doing yard work and cleaning up the place.

 

 After clean up we ate and sat around the table conversing and enjoying the lingering cool air.

Heres Uncle Chris and Evy crackin' smiles :o)

 

Im just gonna go ahead and jump to the next event. That weekend, we all drove up to a large cabin in Heber and enjoyed a wonderful and fun family reunion .

 

There was so much to do here it was ridiculous but it sure was nice to camp indoors...as sean would say. I couldn't care less.

M and Tate were having a blast.

 

Relaxing after the drive up. 

 

Played a little T ball with daddy. Great hit M! 

 

 Just a taste of this great cabin 

Love this kitchen.

 

male bonding :o)

Dad couldn't stop crackin' up. Love it!

 In the game room there was much to do: shoot pool, air some hockey, ping-pong, or watch movies on the flat screen.

 Or sometimes just sit  

M have a fair share of the indoor play room...but love the outdoors too.

 

You'd think she was a boy...she loved playing ball with daddy. 

As a parent I believe i reserve the right to say that my daughter would be an awesome ball player!  Nana was kind enough to hold the baby while i went and rode the horses. 

Sweet niece Macey.  Evy was a good sport and let others chill with her...she's here with her cousin Trin.
(oooh, look at dat belly!)

Nana even kicked up her heels

 They even were kind enough to let us take their (er) thing off roading in the pines.  i went with Chris, that was sure a wild ride! *see video below

 My sister Julie and Tatum

My sissie-in-law geared up and kindly took pictures of all the family.  Sure was windy tho(my hair was bland anyway), so sadly i don't  think i will use the pictures in my house.:(

 

Nana and papa with the kizzez

 pictures of all the families: In order of Eldest.

 The parents 

  Lori and Jim

 Julie and  Brent

 Michelle and Jon

 Brittney and Chris.............(see it was w-i-n-d-y)

 Shaun and Lauren

It was a memorable weekend I'll hardly forget it!
- Aezra

Stories of M: the good and the bad

~ mean mommy
 Shes four.  That there should say enough but as we know it kids are testing their boundaries and exploring personalities.  In this case, she was testing more and more of her boundaries. "Its time for bed" and for M that is a much hated statement.   I don't even really recall what happened or how it got to this point but the overall senerio was a bad domino effect on failing to listen to mommy.  She's clearly frustrated and im clearly frustrated and I let the anger take over.   

(posing in her new outfit)

Few things to keep in mind:  1.  I had to take her Little Mermaid movie away 2. as a result from disobedience we will shut her door at night(which she loathes), otherwise we keep it wide open. 3.  I don't like her to watch shows at bedtime but somehow for the past few weeks she's been watching them in her room.

There I am, frustration building, a screaming/crying child who can't obey what i asked her to do.  So after taking her movie away and still no cooperation I had to threaten the shut the door if she couldn't settle down(which usually works, she'll calm down.)  Instead she swipes the movie from me and runs to her tv. Upset, i bopped her on the bum(which i try my best to not spank, i hate it) I followed through with my discipline and took the movie from her, quickly exited the door and shut it, locked it.  (we can lock it from the outside.)

 So upset, she cried and hollered...

 "Don't shut the door!" "don't shut the door!"

(with nightlight  on i might add) kicking and banging on the door.  I repeated the reason for why i had the door shut and reminded her of the consequence.  After 10 seconds of a tired, scared little girl...what I heard next softened my heart and my frustration melted.

M in her cracked, emotional little voice said : "You wanna watch Dora?" 

 She answered herself saying " yeah....." following a few "hiccup" whimpers.

she was soothing herself and talking to herself...mending the situation.  I immediately felt terrible that i wished I could be the one to soothe her and help her know i acknowledge her feelings.  Instantly being reminded that little children can't handle disappointment well and when tired can't reason either.  I quickly threw open the door and grabbed her and held her...in fact, her initial reaction was "retreat' for fear of mommy.  So i reassured her with a soft

"come here, let me hold you."

(one of many times we'll find her passed out on the floor)

I rocked her on the bed and dried her tears.  I told her mommy was sorry for getting mad and that I would stay with her while watching her show.
 Laid her under her covers and watching Dora, i laid next to her on her bed till she recovered from the whimpers and I told her I loved her.
 She replied " I wove you mommy." 

 This one is kinda funny and sad.
~Misunderstandings

Its morning.  Breakfast time.  M loves her cereal its the first thing that comes out of her mouth every morning..." Mommy? I wan c-ole" (mommy? i want cereal)  The cereal I got for her this time was the captain crunch berries. You know? this one:

  Lately shes been eating ONLY the berries and not the yellow ones, leaving wasted money and an hour later hungry girl.   So this morning when i dished her a bowl i said to her: 

 "Now, Em, i need you to eat the yellow ones too, okay?" 

 With reluctance in her voice she said "O-Kay, mommy." To which i responded "thank you".

 shortly after, M asks me while i was standing in the kitchen...

 " Mommy?...can i eat the circle ones now?" 

 Confusion.   I walked over to her to better understand.  When i looked down i see only the  berries in her bowl. I was shocked because that 1st split second i didn't understand the "why" in she didn't eat them.  Then......., Awe :(.  She had been so diligent in following thru with what she thought I asked her to do.  She must have thought I meant eat the yellow ones first. lol, i felt so bad for her.  Poor thing, here she is eating the "boring" yellow ones while slowly watching her favorite berries get soggy. :(  I felt so sad for her that she misunderstood me.  

 I responded:  " oh hunny, I meant be sure to eat the yellow and the berries."

Moral? be more simple and straight forward in a way children understand.   and .....Reiterate!

(such a sweet Big sister)

 

 

 

I love you, my sweet girl!

No words can express:o(

sometimes my  brain cannot conjure up the right words to express...but at best all i can say is I am grateful to God.

  Today my innocent 4 yr old  took the initiative to have fun with her sister, carried her outside(which i have told her over and over never to pick up sister), then somehow managed to log her onto the trampoline.  Your 2nd worst fear just flashed into your mind and it happened...evalyn fell off the trampoline and landed on her head.

Im getting dressed in my master bath when I hear a high pitched cry....no more then a few minutes i walked out of the family room where they were playing that this happened.  I couldn't determine where the cry came from...it sounded like it echoed from the baby's monitor....so i walked across the house to the babys room.  Theres no crying(thats bad.) I jumped at the thought they were in the garage, i ran fast to open the laundry door that leads into the garage, flung open the door, no cries,...no children. 


 ....."Where ARE THEY?!" ....
 I sped across the house again when the backyard window caught my eye and i see M....just standing there next to the trampoline, starring at the ground, not moving.
 "Wheres Evy?!?!" thats when i heard some whimpers.  I opened the glass door and at this point i caught eye of evalyn, lying in the dirt, trying to sit up.  At this instant i knew what had happened.  I ran to her while trying to hold back tears and anger.

 Evalyn just looked terrible and looked like she got hit by a bus, she was dazed.  My 10 month old baby! Dazed & whimpering! Heart wrenching!!! 

 I ran to her as she caught sight of me she just started to cry with this look in her eye..."mommy, hold me." I can't describe it...shes only 10 months but i could just see what she was feeling. 

 I think back at it now and know why i heard 1 high-pitched cry and silence after that...it was probably because she got the wind knocked out of her.  That just breaks my heart. 
I just held her and let her cry, looked in her eyes to see any signs of neurological problems....and waited for her to vomit or get sleepy...but she didn't. THANK HEAVENS!  I knew she was spared and that she was meant to live another day...an angel was watching over her.  I asked M as i grabbed evy what had happened and she confirmed my fear.  I tried so hard to hold back my natural reaction and barely handled a firm reiteration to "NEVER pick up sister." 

Im so so SO grateful to heavenly father and thanked him over again.  I love my kids more than life and would just die if i ever had one taken from me.  I don't ever want to know the feeling.
 

 Tonight after i got back from a my sisters dinner out, I crept in and checked on her.  She is such an angel, especially when she sleeps.  checked to feel her chest rise and fall. Relief is up there with one of the BEST emotions a human can feel and Gratitude IS the Best.

-aezra

Love / Hate relationships

thoughts tugging on my emotions lately:

I love my home- I hate how its constantly unkept
 I love my easy girls, i do-I hate that I can't be selfish with my time.
 I love my life-I hate that I can't run it efficiently
 I love my 4 year old-i hate that I don't know how to disipline her
I love to cook- I hate that i never have every ingredient required
I love that we have a good car- i hate that we don't have two
 I love my husband- i hate i can't compete as a wife
 I love being a mother- I hate( how do i word this correctly???)..theres no textbook on how to be a "good" one
 I love my washer and dryer- I hate that I suck at doing laundry
 I love my backyard- I hate that theres no room to plant fruit trees.
 ..and the list goes on...............

 I know and fully understand that these are measely problems...but these are my Goliths and they weigh me down daily. There are worse trials.  I constantly remind myself my life isn't half so bad and i have much to be grateful for.    From now on i will try often to recall the words from the hymn
" Count your blessings"
             ..."Count your many blessings, and your doubt will fly
                        ...and you'll keep on singing as the days go by"

             ..."Count your many blessings, name them one by one,...
                  count your many blessings see what God hath done."

             ..."Count your many blessings, Angels will attend...
                 help and comfort give you till your journey's end."

-aezra

My first bread

Relief!  They actually are quite pleasant. yay for me.  Now i just need to keep at it....but holy crow its 7 CUPS of FLOUR!!!

Memorial Memory(Part 1)

May 27, 2011

It was previously decided that we as a unit would go with sean to cheer him on in his softball tournament.  Every year its held up in Show Low/Pinetop area where the weather is nice and we can enjoy, really, our ONLY family vacation of the year.  The other players families had all backed out, but NO-Sir-y were we backing out.  So I came into the weekend planning that we'd be the only family unit in a cabin full of "boys" essentially.  But our luck turned...at the last minute families were showing up left and right.  I was grateful that M had playmates so as to pass the time up in the mountains. 
Because of Sean's superiority unfailing ability to win competitive bets...he won first dibs on any room in the cabin.  Of course we picked the biggest.>>>

Luckily for us we were able to persuade our good friends, the Dixons, to come and share the weekend with us.

 

we visited her grandparents house for an afternoon.  We talked. Kids played.

 And i wandered the premises taking pictures :o)

I love this moment i caught:)

  classy aged.

tour of our cabin and surroundings

 Previously a Bed & Breakfast

Some friends above our door to greet you...but don't expect any greeting because your hello falls upon sleeping ears.

 (bats)

 Horses fenced and wild horses wild.

Ah, the good ole' Out house.

On our last day(should i say my last day) we ate at a quaint little cafe off the main road.  Big plates, Fullll bellies, bliss :)

I took the 4 hr trip back home in time to meet up with some good friends...Rulon and Laura.
It was a very pleasant day :)
-aezra