Archive for November, 2007

Official!

November 30, 2007

This was waiting for me when I got home:

RE: Consolidated Home Study

Dear Frank & Frank’s Partner (of course they used his name! I’m editing for his privacy.),

Congratulations! You made it through a stupid process that does nothing to prove your worth as a potential parent but does demonstrate your ability to jump through senseless and innumerable hoops.* The Agency has approved your Consolidated Home Study for foster care and/or adoption. Information regarding your home has been updated on the statewide foster home database indicating that you have been approved for one child either gender, age 0 to 18 months old or a sibling set, age 0-5 years old of any ethnic descent. Licensed for two children, ages 0-9 years old.

The challenging task you are undertaking is critically important to the well being of children. Honestly we can’t believe you made it this far given the bullshit we put you through.* You are not only providing a nurturing home for a child, but you are influencing the future of a child and everyone that comes into contact with that child.

We appreciate the opportunity to make your life utter hell serve you and join you in anticipation of adding to your family through adoption. If you have any questions, please feel free to call me at (213)4ADU-ASS and I will be sure not to get back to you promptly as I am so incredibly busy.*

*(OK, that may not be exactly as it’s printed on the letter…)

Despite the bitterness that seeps through, I’M SO FREAKING HAPPY! WOOT WOOT! It’s official now. Can’t take it back! Insert tongue sticking out icon here! 😛

Fair Anyone?

November 30, 2007

We got an invite from our social worker (since he’s approved our adoption, I’ll stop calling him HH, although that doesn’t in any way diminish the fact that he was an ass is an ass annoyed the heck out of me.  It’s just reflective of my forgiving glowing nature at present.) to attend an adoption fair.

I know, I know.  It sounds awful.  My Partner and I feel the same way.  So at first we weren’t going to attend.

But then I called the social worker who is organizing it.  I explained my hesitance and asked her if she could describe what it was going to be like.  (Because honestly, the visuals in my hear were not good.)

She chuckled and said she gets asked that quite a bit.  (See, I’m not the only one!)

She said there will be food (can’t be all bad then, right?), a DJ, and crafts for the kids.  There will be children there from the ages of 4 to about 14 years old.  Each child will be wearing a name tag with their names and a code that represents whether they are an only child or part of a sibling set.

So, me being me, asked, “Do the kids realize what this event is for?”

She very patiently explained that the older children will indeed understand why they are there.

So, me again being me, asked, “Oh my goodness.  Little kids won’t be walking up asking, ‘Will you be my daddy?’ will they?”  (Because I can’t walk past the cat adoption cages at PetCo without wanting to take home all the little kitties in the cages.  And I don’t particularly like cats.  Imagine what a fiasco it would be if all these little tikes were glomming onto me!)

She again giggled and said all the children will have a social worker with them and will be supervised.  She also explained that they’ve been explained the process.  She further explained that we could participate as much or as little as we wanted with the children.  Apparently some people come and just mill around the periphery without ever interacting with any of the children while others choose to talk and/or play with the children.  (Personally, even if I didn’t want to adopt a child, I can’t see “milling about the periphery” for heaven’s sake!  They’re kids!  They just want to have fun!)

At the end of the event, prospective parents are given a checklist and are asked to designate any of the children they’re interested in as well as ranking them. (RANKING THEM!?! They’re kids, not cars!)

So to make a long story longer, I signed us up to go.  I’m a bit nervous.  My first preference is a child 6-18 months.  But maybe the child who is looking for me is older than that.  So I’m going to keep my options open.

Close Call!

November 29, 2007

I was at work yesterday afternoon, likely daydreaming about being a father, when I felt a vibration in my right pocket.  I pulled out my cell phone to check the number.  It was the same area code and a similar exchange as my social worker!

I

FREAKED

OUT!

The first thought that ran through my head was, “Oh please don’t let it be a child, I’m NOT ready!”

How wrong is that?!  After fighting for so long to get through this process, my first reaction to a potential placement call was that it wasn’t really happening!  Man oh man…

In my defense, it had only been about 24 hours since I first learned we were approved.  A guy needs time to adjust!

So I don’t feel (as) bad any more.

Turns out the call was from a Wine & Spirit store.  My dear friend Adele (check out her cakes, she’s VERY talented!) sent My Partner and me a bottle of champagne to help us celebrate!

I LOVE my friends!  Thanks Adele!

Approved!

November 27, 2007

I just got off the phone with HH.  We’re approved for adoption!  We should get the approval letter early next week.

Now we just need to wait for a child/children to become available.

I can’t stop crying!  So much relief!  And hope!  And anxiety…  Oh man…

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 25, 2007

I know, I know, I’m late. But I’ve been busy! I spent the early part of the week working on a dessert order and finishing a cake for Maia’s 10th birthday. The inspiration came from my pal Sharon, a cake goddess.

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Last year Maia and I worked together to create her birthday cake.

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(In case you’re missing the theme, Maia loves bright colors!)

I forget exactly when, but at some point I also finished the first Christmas present of the year: a nightgown for Makende.

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Thursday was spent finishing these Thanksgiving potholders and trivets. The designs were done using my embroidery machine and then I finished the sewing on my machine. They were a hostess gift for our neighbors who had us over for Thanksgiving dinner.

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It was actually kinda funny because when I gave them to her, she was like, “Oh thanks.” And then later during dinner we were talking about the things I’ve made and I said something about the potholders. She didn’t believe that I had made them. My Partner had to confirm that I had indeed spent a good portion of the day finishing them up for her. She then held them to her chest and proclaimed that she would cherish them forever.

A little of Thursday (before dinner) and the morning of Friday was spent finishing a birthday gift for Andrew, the son of a neighbor. Andrew LOVES baseball and has an amazing batting arm for a 4 year old. So I embroidered a shirt for him and made him a personalized pillow for his bed.

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After Andrew’s party I began working Maia’s birthday presents (it’s difficult to tell in the photo, but it’s two pillow cases). Unfortunately that took WAY longer than I thought it would and much of Saturday was spent completing it. Because our calendars didn’t match up, I’m going to have to mail her gift. I hope she likes them!

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They were actually meant to match the birthday gifts (two pillows) I made for her last year.

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What was left of Saturday and Sunday were spent playing the role of Domestic God. I cleaned The Office (Well, it’s really my Sewing Room, but I call it The Office to help him feel like I haven’t taken over the room. Which I have.), doing laundry, lunch with friends, and the dreaded ironing! UGH!

We just finished watching Mr. Brooks. DISTURBING movie! Egads. Last night we watched Perfect Stranger, which SUCKED.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I had a wonderful weekend and although I have a bit of The Dreads, they’re not as bad as I would have imagined.

Planting Seeds

November 20, 2007

To celebrate Thanksgiving Week, I would like to talk about the normally thankless job of education. As most of us are aware, educators are highly overworked and severely underpaid. It takes an immense toll on those of us who try to do it differently; that is in a way that truly makes a difference.

Being an educator is often compared to being a gardener in that we are planting the seeds and doing our best to encourage growth. Unfortunately the environment probably has more to do with our students’ success, or lack thereof, than we do. But sometimes those seeds take root and right in front of our eyes we see a student, or former student, blossom into the most amazing and beautiful creation.

And sometimes they take the time to let you know how much you have helped them in their development.

I got this today from JG, whom I had the pleasure of helping to move to his new campus a few months ago:

Mr. V,

Once you said that living in the past was not the road to take when you want to move forward. Your uplifting character has inspired me to continue my life despite the struggles when it seems that hope was gone. When no one was there to listen or to give me the push to continue my path to success, you where there. I am glad that I had the honor to be instructed by an awesome individual that has changed me not only academically but as a person. These last two years were different when you where on my side. You were the person that started to push me and overall believe in me and never give up on me no matter the struggle or circumstance. There are no words that can describe how grateful I feel for all the help you have provided me in school and in my personal problems.

A no never came from your lips. A no was never an option, a no was just not a part of who you are inside and you know something a no or a can not do is not one of my options either. If you ask where I learned it, I learned it from the best and that is you. I could write pages thanking you from the bottom of my hear and none of the words I write could ever explain or come near to the real meaning and appreciation I have for you and your undaunted character.
You have become more then a teacher. You are a friend and a role model; a person that has taught me respect and overall achievement in the odds of
defeat. I admire you. Honestly the few times I had the chance to be
lead by you it was an honor to be by your side. If I had to choose a
battle and choose a leader you would be up front in my mind and overall
in my heart.

Once again I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the help you have provided me, and for never giving up on me.

A new chapter has been opened in my life and that is that I am now in
college, thanks to your advice and character and believing in me. I know I went down the drain with some aspirations, but I do not look at it as an end I look at it as a beginning. I know you will be there when I graduate not only from college but medical school.

Thank you Mr. V

Sincerely:
JG

Pardon me, I need to find a kleenex…

Updates

November 19, 2007

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m feeling much better. Better living through modern medicine. Although I don’t necessarily think antibiotics, or at least the ones I’m taking, are that modern. Two more days and I’ll be done with this course. And then I get to start following up on all the recommendations, both from my doctor and from friends, that I begin using one of these.

Gives me chills just thinking about it. And yes , I know it may help. Yet the idea of pouring a warm saline liquid up my nose still doesn’t thrill me!

Now for an adoption update. When last I wrote I had just finished a very, um, awkward (I’m trying to practice being diplomatic) conversation with HH’s supervisor. Despite that event, HH does seem to be a bit more, dare I say it?!, friendly when he’s on the phone with me. Of course, here it is, two weeks later, and he told me he is going to submit our report to his supervisor for approval today. I’m sure that since this week is Thanksgiving there isn’t going to be any progress.

Pardon me while I get into my Zen pose for a moment.

Thanks for your patience. So anyway, in the two weeks since I last spoke about HH, I had a slight run-in with the other social worker who works for the State and who is responsible for licensing our home. She needed one other form from us which ended up taking a couple of weeks to get. I submitted that four weeks ago last week. I’m sure you can guess, but we didn’t get any news. I didn’t think it was problematic until HH called telling me he needed a copy of our license in order to submit his report. Ugh…

So a little less than two weeks ago I began calling Mrs. Y (the State licensing analyst with whom we had been working). And for a little less than two weeks I didn’t get a response. Finally, last week Friday I called with my “concerned client” call explaining how because I haven’t heard from her I was beginning to worry about her and would try to contact her supervisor to make sure she was alright.

I had a return phone call within the hour. Now, prepare yourself, turns out she was busy. IMAGINE! I had no idea there were people in this world who were busy. I thought everyone out there was like me with oodles of spare time on their hands. GIVE ME A BREAK!

So she explains that she knows she was past her 90 day time frame (which I wasn’t even aware of!) but she was swamped for the rest of (last) week and wouldn’t be able to issue our license until today (Monday). So I have to call her to follow-up (baby’s done leaving things to chance!) and to make sure she faxes a copy to HH.

Zen break…

Other than the stress of all this, I had a fabulous weekend! I spent two solid days working in my office (well, it’s really my sewing room, but My Partner feels left out when I call it that, so it’s referred to as The Office.). I’m doing a bunch of embroidered snowflakes for our tree and as small gifts for our Xmas cards. Or maybe I’ll make them a part of our Xmas card.

I also, in true Frank style, decided yesterday to make a Hostess Gift for our neighbors who invited us to Thanksgiving dinner. They were surprisingly fast.

As you can see from the button on the side, I’m trying to do a Handmade Holiday, so most of the gifts I’m giving this year are either made by me, or hand-made by someone else and purchased by me. Three special little girls are going to get the flannel night gowns I’ve been working on. Most of our friends are going to get embroidered napkins (I purchased the napkins. Even I have reasonable limits!)

You can also see from the glaring absence of the NaBloPoMo button that I’m no longer  participating (well, did I ever, really?!) in the blog-until-my-fingers-and-your-eyes-bleed month. Let’s speak no further about this embarrassing blog debacle.

That’s about it! I hope those of you who are traveling do so safely. And that everyone (in the US, the rest of you, make due!) has a Happy Thanksgiving Week (oh, yes, he extended it from a day to a week! If we can have Xmas crap in stores since mid-October, we can have a Thanksgiving Week!).

Back From The Dead and Off To New York

November 17, 2007

Sorry to have worried y’all. Monday was spent in a LOT of pain. I used to get migraines so I’m quite familiar with headache pain. However, Monday’s headache put things in perspective. It was like someone had a crowbar wedged behind my right brow bone and was trying to split my head in two. That continued for most of the day and into Tuesday. Somewhere along the way I began to see spots on the periphery of my vision, which hasn’t happened since I used to get migraines. It was disconcerting to say the least.

Tuesday I went to the doctor and he told me it was likely a sinus infection and that the sinus infection likely triggered a migraine. So he gave me some antibiotics to help with the infection but told me to take Advil for the headache pain. Eventually it worked but the side effects are that my stomach is torn to hell from the Advil. Oh, and the antibiotics have caused a system purge, if you get my drift. 😉

Besides the side effects, I’m mostly better. So thanks again for the emails and comments of concern!

Because I haven’t been feeling well, I haven’t been checking into my favorite online places much so I missed the continuing saga of Dorothy. (Recap: I took a cake class a while back and at the end decided I couldn’t take my completed (styrofoam) cake with me on the plane so I left it in Kansas with my cake buddies. They named the sugar baby on the top Dorothy (Dorothy. Kansas. Get it?) and took photos of her in various places.)

Apparently Dorothy took a trip to another Cake Auntie, this one in New York. Her auntie in New York, Suze, wrote this:

Alas poor Dorothy was so depressed that her daddy wouldn’t come pick her up and at the prospect that her adoptive family was going to force manual labor on her poor Dorothy has run away.
How do I know this you ask? Because much to my surprise I heard a strange noise downstairs at the door this afternoon..

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I ran to call B.W. to let her know Dorothy has turned up and when I returned poor thing was tossing pennies into the wishing well…Wonder what she was wishing for…could it be possible for her daddy to love her and come get her? Hmmmm I wonder…

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Personally, I think Dorothy is wishing and thinking, “There’s no place like home…”

Don’t Worry

November 12, 2007

I’m here.  Just ill with what appears to be a sinus infection.  The result of which is a nasty, head-splitting headache.  I’ll be back soon!

True Friendship

November 9, 2007

Finally, a forwarded friendship poem that I can appreciate! 😉

Thanks Joansy!

‘True Friendship’

(With none of that Sissy Crap!)

Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-

just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1 When you are sad— I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue— I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile— I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared— I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried— I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused— I will use little words.

7. When you are sick— Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall— I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath … I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask?, ‘Because you are my friend’.

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Accountability Update: I got up at 5:22 and ran for 30 minutes then took Theron for a walk. Feeling good!


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