In Sickness and Health Part Two

Within a month of the car accident I ended up back in the hospital...this time with crazy uterine bleeding.  I won't go into detail but it started in April and by the end of June not only was I anemic but I had also lost over a 1/4 of my blood supply.  I was admitted to hospital and had blood transfusions.  I ended up having surgery (d&c and polypectomy).  It was miserable and so scary watching the blood transfusions.  I was released from hospital and ended up back the next day.  My body was in trauma.  I couldn't move.  It was like my muscles weren't responding.  I couldn't lift my arms or get out of bed.  I was put on bed rest and pain medicine. 
Once I started getting things under control and back to my usual self, we continued with the fertility treatments. 
Don't be fooled...they are rough.  The shots start out not too bad and then new ones that are introduced...one that burns like crazy and another that feels like it is barbed at the end of the needle!  It hurts going in and especially when coming out!  I thought I handled the shots pretty good, since I hate needles but after 2 months of shots...nobody looks forward to having at least 3/day!  I can't explain what it felt like having my ovaries feel like basketballs and producing so many eggs.  It was far from a cake walk to say the least.  I felt horrible.  Everything looked good though.  I was going to the fertility clinic almost every day to be monitored.  I started getting very bloated and uncomfortable and the day I went in for my egg retrieval, I was in so much pain.  I probably had 30-40 eggs but they were only able to extract them from one ovary...well 12 from one ovary and 1 from the other because it was so hard to get to.  They were really happy with those results. 
I came out of surgery and the next few days were literally unbearable!  I started getting very bloated and was in so much pain.  I was short of breath all the time.  I went back in and found out that I had ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome (ohss).  I was sent back to hospital for pain management and to be sure that I didn't have ovarian torsion.  I was once again put on bed rest and pain medication.
I went back to fertility clinic the following week and was sent to surgical center immediately to have fluid drained out of my abdomen.  My ovaries were bigger than grapefruit and I was wheezing and found out I also had fluid on my lungs.  My RE drained the fluid from the abdomen...that hurt so badly!  If you saw the needle they use to drain the fluid it would hurt just to look at it!  I could see the container filling up with fluid but didn't feel much relief. 
When I left there Dr. Behera said that I may have to have it done again...heck NO! 
My eggs were fertilized and frozen.  We had to cancel our embryo transfer.  :(
After almost a week of barely being able to do anything, it started feeling a bit better except the shortness of breath.  It never went away.  Within a couple of weeks my breathing was becoming more and more labored.  Just walking a few feet would be exhausting, nevermind when I had to walk up and down the stairs!  My heart would feel like it was jumping out of my chest and it would take me so long to get my breathing back to normal.  I told Gene that I had a bad feeling that something else was wrong but I really didn't want to go back to the hospital just to be given more pain meds and be sent home.  I waited a couple days and then it got really bad.  Gene came home from work and brought me to the ER.  It was crazy when I went there!  There was a waiting room full of people but once they saw me, it was like a scene from Grey's Anatomy!  People were being paged and instructions were being shouted...within 5 minutes I was in my own room hooked up to oxygen and an iv...I had labs drawn and had an ekg.  There were 5 people rushing around in my room and it was so overwhelming.  I kept trying not to cry because I knew that it would be more difficult to breathe.  They kept asking me questions and then shouting at me not to talk because I didn't have enough oxygen!
Stay tuned...

In sickness and in health

These past few months have been filled with much trial and tribulation for myself and my family.  I have debated writing for quite some time since so much of it was personal and I didn't want to put it out there for the world (or the few people who may read my blog) to judge or feel sorry for me.  I have now decided that I need to get these thoughts and feelings out for my own good. 
Back in February we started infertility treatments again.  We tried for years to get pregnant with Caleb and then have tried since then to have another baby.  I have called the fertility treatment center at least every 6 months for the past five years to see if they take our new health insurance.  Everytime I have called they told me no.  I finally asked to speak to someone in the finance department about being a cash patient and they told me that even though my previous fertility specialist didn't take BCBS, that his partner did!  Seriously, they couldn't tell me that like 3 years ago??? 
I went and met the doctor and she was seriously the sweetest most compassionate doctor I have ever met...and she is from Canada so bonus points for her.  Gene and I went and met Dr. Behera and we were thrilled and the possibility of being parents again.  We also found out that not only did our insurance cover fertility treatment, they covered everything at 100%, including in-vitro fertilization!  Apparently we have the best fertility coverage in the state.  We still have co-pays and medication which I can tell you is still A LOT of money but hey, we now had more than hope of having a baby.
We started with all the testing etc, we didn't jump to ivf right away but after a few months we thought, what have we got to lose?
Then...Caleb and I got in a car accident at the end of May.  I got rear-ended at a red light bring Caleb to school.  Of course the guy had no insurance!  I have never been in an accident before and was so worried about Caleb.  The guy started telling me all these stories and promised to pay for damages etc.  I didn't know at the time that I was hurt.  Anyway, I didn't call the police.  I was in shock.  The guy gave me his information and I brought Caleb to school.  About 45 minutes later, I was hurting!  Gene brought me to urgent care and they did x-rays and I got a lovely shot in the butt!  My back and neck were hurt.  I have been going to the chiropractor twice a week for the past 3 months.  It has been rough!
Stay tuned for more...

We're Back!

Okay we haven't been on a luxurious Disney Cruise for the past two years, although that would have been really sweet :)
I have just been so out of the "blogosphere". Sure I read blogs but I haven't felt like writing a blog...I always feel like I have nothing to say...nothing anybody would want to read anyway. Then it just hit me the other day, that I need to do this for me. If you are reading this, you may want to tune out as I plan for the most part, to use this as my own "therapy" sessions. You are welcome to read...good or bad...but no promises of fabulous recipes, anecdotes, funny stories or cute pics. Crazier things have happened and I may blog about the mundane everyday things but as for right now this blog is for my own personal growth and development.
I seriously had a life changing day this week. Some of it is kinda personal...I may elaborate in the future but for now I can say that I am beginning to feel like a "new woman". It's exciting and liberating but at the same time terrifying.
I have just decided to be more true to me...to be more comfortable in my own skin. Honestly, it has been a number of years since I have felt like that.
I read an article this week on CNN and it truly inspired me. It wasn't necessarily the words, or the author's own experiences that made me change...It just pulled on something inside me.
I am sure that the article could be offensive to some...to others, maybe they wouldn't understand and to some...it may spark something like it did me.
If you are interested, here is the link:
I will express some of my own feelings in the near future but I don't have much time right now, as my boy is out of school early today.
If you are reading this, please no judgement...you are welcome to comment or have an opinion. I am not trying to tell someone what they should or shouldn't believe, remember this is my own personal journey and feelings about something and how it is inspiring me to be a better me.
Happy Day All!

counting down

Only 6 more days until we set sail!
We are heading to Florida on Saturday
for a 4 day Disney Cruise to the Bahamas!
We are so excited and have been so busy
getting everything ready for our vacation.
I will take tons of pictures and try really hard
not to totally blow this "wellness challenge".
One week down on the Wellness Challenge and
I must admit I did much better than I thought I would.
I only lost one point:) I am happy with that.
I want to work really hard this week.
Anyway, did I say I was totally excited to go on the
Disney Cruise?
After the cruise we are heading to
Disneyworld
for a couple of days.
I will post again soon:)

twenty ten

2010

is going to be a good year. I can just feel it!

So much has happened in our lives

the past couple of months...

it's been crazy to say the least.

We all had the swine flu back in October.

I was the lucky one who got it the worst.

Two horrible weeks.

I would rather it be me than Gene or Caleb but come on!

My baby brother came to visit on his way to Japan.

It was great to see him.

I went in for minor outpatient surgery in November

to have a couple of soft tissue masses removed...

yeah well let's just say it don't go too well.

The next day I had to go into the emergency room

and spent the next 4 days in the hospital...

another surgery and a staph infection later

I ended up with about a 4 inch open wound t

hat they wanted to heal from the inside out...lovely.

Having very little use and mobility in my right arm

seemed to put a damper on things to say the least.

I had a nurse come everyday at first and now...

exactly 2 months after my initial surgery it is almost closed.

My nurse comes once a week and Gene changes the dressing

on my arm the rest of time...no more packing it.

I even get away with slapping a waterproof band-aid on it occasionally.

2009 kinda sucked in a lot of ways for me...

I am so looking forward to this new year...a fresh start.

We moved...again!

New Year's Eve morning we moved

into a townhouse...still in Mesa.

It was a great way to start off the New Year.

This is our year to get out of debt and

thanks to some great friends and

in this new place it actually seems possible:)

I have been setting a lot of goals and

started a Wellness Challenge today.

It's for 3 months and although I know it will be a lot of work,

I am really excited about it.

Speaking of being excited I can hardly

contain my excitement about our Disney Cruise!

We leave in less than 2 weeks.

I have spent the last week unpacking and cleaning

this new place...I have definitely put a dent in it

but I still have sooo much to do...

that is my goal for the week...

have this place be presentable by Sunday.

I am fine if there is a box or two out but I need to

have it in much better shape than it is.

Anyway, I am excited for twenty ten...

I have a good feeling about it.

I wonder about the future and hope

and dream of the possibilities...

banners

Here are a few banners that I have been

working on for the upcoming holidays.

Enjoy!

First Day of School

Here are some pics that I took when we had Meet the Teacher and Caleb's first day of school.

If you look closely at this pic you will see some stethoscopes.

Notice the one without any rubber or plastic

where it goes in the ears...ouch!
Yeah, not safe. The mother who saw this

brought it to the teacher's attention.

This was the first outfit that I put on Caleb.

Right before it was time to go he came in the

bathroom where I was getting ready and said,

"Look Mom!" as he was banging two

chalkboard brushes together.

There was chalk dust everywhere!

It's hard to tell but his clothes were so full of chalk!
What a big boy! I can't believe that he is almost 3 and a half.
He loves school!

Now on to week two...

Happy Birthday Uncle Ryan and Papa

Back to School

My boy is starting school this month! Crazy!

I enrolled him in the pre-k program...we have to pay for it but

it is less than half the price of the preschools I looked into.

He is so excited! He wants to wear his backpack to bed

and starting school is all he talks about.

Here's a back to school banner I made to celebrate:)

Happy Father's Day

Caleb's photo shoot with Ashley!

Happy Father's Day daddy!!!