Here is a link to the video of Jacob singing.
Last Saturday Jacob was baptized. We had debated for a long time as to when/if he should be baptized. We were never quite sure how much he understood. Most of the time when we would discuss things with him it would seem like he was off in his own world. But occasionally he would say things that made us think that he had understood at least part of what we had said.
We counseled with our Bishop in McLean, Bishop Hansen, and he encouraged us to have Jacob baptized. After much prayer we decided to go ahead and do it.
Holly's parents and everyone from my side of the family came into town. We split my family between our house and Trevor and Heather's. It was crowded but it was fun to all be together again. Jacob and Brigham were especially excited. I thought that Brigham was going to explode. After the baptism, as we were driving home Brigham said, "I wish everyone could stay forever."
Things were a little hectic the day of the baptism. President Hinckley's funeral was that day as well and we had taken my family to see some sites in DC. Jacob's baptism wasn't until 5 pm so at about 3:30 I went over to fill the font and just relax and try to prepare spiritually for the baptism.
I had an instruction sheet of how to fill the font and keep the water warm. I turned on the hot water and then started to assemble the chairs in the room. After about 40 minutes or so the font was about half full. I went to test the temperature and the water in the font was cold. I checked the water coming out of the faucet and it was ice cold. I panicked at bit. Jacob has a strong aversion to cold water. In fact, he usually likes his baths almost scalding hot. I didn't want this to become a distraction for him that would turn his baptism into tears and screams.
I called around to a few people to see what I could do. Apparently there had been a baptism the night before and the water heater hadn't had enough time to heat the water again. There was nothing to do but fill it up. So, I turned it back on and said a little prayer that things would work out.
The time approached and people began to arrive. We were only missing one important thing - Jacob. Holly had said that she would try to be there by 4:30. At 4:57 the other half of our family still hadn't shown up. Apparently, in all of the commotion the keys had been lost, but at the last minute they were found.
When Jacob came in he was somewhat agitated. He was upset at wearing the white clothes, he wanted to go in the gym and he wanted fruity snacks which were sitting in a bag that had been left at home. I began to worry that this was going to be a negative experience for him. But the Bishop began conducting and Jacob instantly calmed a bit. As the Bishop explained why we were there Jacob called out to him, "Everything else is secondary." That is a favorite quote of his from a commencement speech that Steve Jobs gave at Standford. Then we sang the opening hymn, "I Know My Father Lives" and Jacob lit up. In a few seconds his facial expression had changed from highly agitated to a look of pure joy.
Brigham gave a little talk and Granny Dot spoke on baptism. I couldn't see anyone else but I could not hold back the tears as she spoke of all that had happened to get Jacob to this point in his life. That was pretty much true for me the whole night.
After Granny Dot's talk Jacob sang "I Like to Look for Rainbows". He sang it in this soft sweet voice. I was concerned that no one would be able to hear him but apparently they all did. Josh got a video of it and there is the sweetest expression of joy on his face as he is singing it.
After he finished we headed for the font. As I stepped in the water I was amazed that is was bath tub warm. My prayer had been answered. Jacob came into the water and was very excited. I baptized him and we left the font.
Jacob truly felt pure joy. As I was getting him changed he kept yelling, "I got baptized!" He also wanted to put his white clothes back on. We got dressed and went back out. I caught the tale end of the testimonies that people from our family were sharing.
Grandma Hales gave a talk on confirmation and I reacted just as I had to everything else that had happened that evening. Luckily by then I at least had some tissues.
It was then time for Jacob's confirmation. Between all or our family we had quite a group up there to confirm him. I could hardly get the words out during the prayer. Jacob wasn't sure what he thought about having so many hands on his head so he was bobbing his head around and was a bit of a moving target. After we finished Jacob looked up at everyone with a radiance in his face.
The Bishop gave a wonderful welcome to Jacob and had him come up and sit with him. It was so tender and so appropriate for Jacob.
It was truly a wonderful evening. So many things had happened that could have derailed it but in the end it was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. The veil had been very thin. Jacob looked angelic I and truly felt that I was in the presence of a little spirit that more pure and angelic than I could ever be.
Most importantly I knew that Jacob had understood. I remembered times on my mission where I would see a missionary testify of the gospel in Spanish that was so broken that no one could understand it. But the person listening would understand. They couldn't understand the words but they could feel the Holy Ghost testifying to their soul that what the missionary was saying was true. I knew that this was what had happened to Jacob. He couldn't always understand what people were saying to him. But his spirit had felt it. He had felt the joy of the Holy Ghost.
I often wonder in these times if I am the only one who has noticed these things. Is it possible that I was touched only because I am his father and he has a special place in my heart? It became quite clear that I was not the only one to feel that way. Many came up after the baptism and remarked how sweet an experience it had been to be present.
My favorite remark came from an 8-year old boy in our ward who had attended the baptism. The next day in fast and testimony meeting he stood up in front of 300+ members of our congregation and said how much he had felt the Spirit as Jacob sang his song and that it had made him remember the Spirit he had felt when he was baptized.
As I think back on this last weekend it really was a spiritual feast. I couldn't have ever imagined that it would have turned out this way. We were so nervous about how it would be for Jacob. We learned that we don't need to worry much about him. We just need to make sure that we live our lives worthily so that some day we can be where he is.
