Christmas Memories already being made!

Because of my four kids, there are no longer any decorative items in my home that I care about. If I truly treasure it, then it is still in a box in the garage in packing paper. Everything has been knocked from my walls at some point. Usually during rough game of illegal dodge ball. It is against the rules to throw a ball in the house because most of the time, the opposing ‘team’ does not know that there is a game starting until they are whacked in the head with a ball. Most items have also been chewed, mauled and used to smack another kid upside the head. But, like some idiot, I will unpack Christmas things every year and in less than one day, they've managed to make me wish it was December 26th already. I have family members who joke: “I no longer have my optional organs”, be it tonsils or appendixes that have been excised. Nobody in my nativity set still has their hands. I glue back the body parts as I find them. My black wise man brought a touch of ethnic realism to my otherwise ridiculously pale collective, but he lost is head last night, due to a flying stuffed turtle. I bet he didn’t see that coming. I can’t part with him yet. He was my favorite wise guy. I have to admit, my nativity is starting to get a little spooky. Thanks to Ellary, I have a decapitated donkey scaring the baby Jesus. My sisters Wendy and Amanda both have tiny tornadoes masquerading as children. I am excited to have them here at Christmas.

My two moms....

The largest portion of my life right now, is being a mom. Unfortunately I have strong, mixed feelings about what it means to be a 'good mom'. Half of my brain insists that is is supremely important to have my house tidy. (Not scrubbed to perfection, but just tidy.) If someone was seriously injured, I would remedy first aid, after I called for an ambulance, I would automatically start start tidying up also. My brain tells me this is important. Apparently, so the paramedics do not walk in and mumble to each other: "Would you just LOOK at this place?"

I have two 'good' moms in my head, fighting it out. This is what one side of my brain tells me a 'good mom' does: She keeps the jelly globs off the floor, and dirty diapers off the table. But the other half of my brain celebrates whenever I play on the floor with the kids, or blow bubbles and wrestle with them. If I build a fort in the living room, Fun mom goes nuts with joy, while the Cleaning mom in my head wants to pick it all up before someone sees this mess and thinks we live like gypsies.

My two moms are completely the opposite. I find myself trying to please them both. Last night as I bathed Ellary, Cleaning mom was glad to be getting this chore out of the way, and as quickly as possible, so the other chores can get done. Alex walked in and Cleaning mom thought, "Aha! Efficiency! I should bathe Alex and Ellary- two birds and one stone!" So Alex hopped in with Ellary. Fun mom wanted to make the bath more enjoyable. So Fun mom reached into the tub and scooped up a handful of water. With both hands cupped, she put her mouth down onto the water and blew bubbles. Cleaning mom knew this would prolong the bath. Over and over again Fun mom ignored Cleaning mom. The baby laughed and Fun mom was feeling quiet triumphant in being so silly and spontaneous. Cleaning mom noticed a funny smell from the water in her hands. Suddenly shocked, Fun mom bolted upright and shouted "Alex- did you pee in the bath?!?" Cleaning mom quietly chuckled to herself, in a "I told you so" kind of way.

Gaslighting

I swear that Brent has been gaslighting me. (Look it up, or better yet, watch the movie on TCM.) He has been swiping my things and moving things about the house. I am already a bit unbalanced, why push me over the edge? He must have more time on his hands than I thought.

Lately, when I am trying to sleep, he starts talking about grit filters and other such dreadfully dull things from work. I think he is trying to help me sleep since I have been off the Ambien. However, it is driving me nuts. I really do want to sleep. Last night I remember it was around 11PM when he started talking. This time, I fought back. Every time he tried to talk, I started singing the song "Oklahoma!" I must have gone through three verses before he gave up talking and went to sleep. At least our marriage isn't boring.

Between the two of us, there is no way my children will turn out well-adjusted. True, normal is overrated. But nobody wants to raise kids that mumble to themselves and plot the maniacal overthrow of the local community center. 'Well-adjusted' has its' merits. This morning Alex went to preschool with a canvas hat that he declared was to rescue jungle animals. At the preschool. He has been insisting that he needs an ant farm for his birthday. He says it is so he can have lots of little friends, presumably to do his bidding. His evil, evil bidding. I am not going to give him a small army capable of launching terrorist strikes upon my pantry. He is just one example of the three older kids, and their quirky ways.
Well, Ellary still has a chance to come out normal. Though with Brent and the three older kids, I have my doubts of that happening.
Addendum: yes, he will be getting an ant farm for his birthday. He's been asking for one for months. Usually, my kids can't remember what they had for breakfast. So when he can remember something, week after week, I tend to reward that.
Addendum part Deux: The site that sells ant farms, also sell ant "re-population kits". I assume they market these kits to kids like mine. Well-intentioned, but murderous kids. We once had a 150 gallon aquarium. One morning Zack and Alex snuck downstairs to feed the fish before I got there. They emptied the entire Costco sized container into the tank, killing all the fish except the plecostomus. Maybe I should pre-order a few re-population kits.

Portable Mural....

This was a round childrens' Ikea table that we used in our backyard. Like all things Ikea, it had a life of about 2 years before it was so ruined I couldn't look at it anymore. It found its' way to the trash on the side of the house where I stumbled upon it once again. I thought: "Hey! That big, flat surface can be painted!" So here it is- a nearly free, portable mural. I spent about $15, to get a few paints and a few brushes. It took me a couple of nights to do it, because it is pretty big. It is about 3 1/2 feet in diameter. This is the last thing I needed to finish, in order to complete the girls' room. In a few days I will assemble all the parts and take a picture with something better than my cell phone. Here are the before & after pictures....


Please rescue me!


Ta-Dah!


The castle is really purple, but the cell phone doesn't do a good job of showing it in this picture. For some reason it looks all blurry, too. Oh, well.

Raising Culturally Sophisticated Children....

This morning, while driving the kids to preschool, I was feeling the need for some big band swing. I wanted to expose them to this kind of music as an ongoing effort to produce well-rounded, and musically savvy children. So I fished out an old CD of swing music. I turned it on, and the children fell silent- a rarity. "They are soaking up this culture!" I thought smugly. "My kids are just brilliant." For three minutes I sat there enjoying the silence of my kids, just knowing they were mesmerized by the jumping beats, swinging rhythm and complicated orchestration.

We got to the classic: "It don't mean a thing, if it ain't got that swing." Half way through the song, Sadie finally offered her musical critique: "If they don't have a swing, they can use the monkey bars." Pondering this thought, Alex countered with: "Monkey bars aren't the same as swings, they're different." Zack offered his deeper insight: "Swings are more fun than monkey bars, but slides are best." And the firestorm of a cultural debate flared up. On and on it raged, the pros and cons of each were weighed. Pithy comebacks were shot back and forth. Well crafted rebuttals were offered, such as: "La-la-la-la I can't hear you, Poopy Head!"

Ah, I have spawned my own miniature debate club. Each well crafted argument swelled my maternal heart with pride. I can see why swing music was so controversial when it was first introduced in the 40's. Tomorrow we will delve into a less divisive music genre, and perhaps we will hear a riveting debate on WHY, exactly, do the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round.

My $4 Butterfly

It all started one night when I couldn't sleep. I wanted to hang something on the wall over Ellary's crib, but I couldn't think of something safe, super light-weight, and non-lethal should it fall. In Southern California you just don't hang decorative things over a crib, unless you want one to fall and bonk your baby in the noggin during a 3.5 earthquake. Suddenly, I had it! FOAM BOARD! I nearly sat up in bed - something made out of foam board! I got so excited about the possibilities, that I nearly went down to Walmart at 4 AM to get a few sheets of it. I'm a little impulsive when I get an idea.
So with 2 sheets of foam board, I carved out each piece with my trusty X-acto knife. Then I realized there was a problem, the edges were pitted and chunky. Apparently when you cut foam board, small pieces of foam pop out between the sandwich of the paper. I wish I had known this tidbit of information. So the edges needed to be filled with a little plaster. I cut out each part of the wings, to give it a 3D look. Except for the hearts. I totally cheated and got them at Micheal's. Once dried, I sanded all of the edges, applied primer and painted. A little hot glue and a coat of sealer, and voila! It is about 22" across at the widest and has little curling antennae at the top. I think I need to start a business doing this stuff. It is so much fun!



One sheet of foamboard makes a big butterfly!



All the different parts of the butterfly- primed, and waiting for paint.

Free painting!

More adventures of low-cost, or no-cost decorating...
Okay, it wasn't free. But it didn't cost me anything to make it! I painted it with an old canvas I had not used, and $1.95 craft paint I already had. It took me two evenings, the first to do the faded blue background, the second to do the vines and flowers. It's completely silly, froofy and girly. Sometimes I wonder if I could have applied myself to a more serious art form. But would it be as much fun? I LOVE painting the silly stuff for kids. I love painting cartoon dinosaurs, trains and all sorts of kid stuff. The painting is about 22" wide, and the best part is that I can probably hang it in any direction. The colors in real life look better, than my cell phone camera can show.
When Sadie saw it this morning she was grinning from ear to ear, and told me she loved it. I'll take that high praise from a four-year-old, over a gallery showing any day.