I was different person back then.

I am different person now.

It is fine. 

I know it should be fine.

Now I am blessed in different way.

I missed being me

This is rather odd.
I'm writing again after being on hiatus for more than 2 years.




Do you remember back then we are young, we are naive to decipher the world?
I used to rely more on my emotion rather than my intellect on doing something - lebih suka ikut kata hati; katanya ianya lebih suci, lebih jujur. Namun benarkan begitu?

When I looked back across the time, it was so much better. At least that what I thought. Better in terms of heart purity where my heart easily responded to my surroundings. That was the time when I felt I was so much better in terms of spirituality. But then again, I am also clueless about my future and what it holds.


Now you asked me, "what have changed then?"
My heart.

I am more careful in letting my emotion to guide my action. I refused to let my heart from being hurt again. However it also numb my heart, I don't easily cry or feel moved like I used before. That is also one of the reason that I stopped writing on my blog.

growing older...perhaps wiser?

I think age already catching up with me. I enjoyed the drive with complete silence. Just me and my thought because songs and never ending adverts just poison me.

But one thing that I do not like is that I do not enjoy making new acquintance, I mean I do not have the energy to pursue them, to win their heart. I am just tired and want to be alone.

I enjoy the solitude of my own company hahaha
Sounds so depressing but I am not. Or am I?
I wish I could change my heart and not being so stubborn to let people in. I wasn't aware if I am actually building wall to keep people away. It seems like I don't have any intention to let anyone in at the moment or being 'jinak-jinak merpati'. I just don't.