Five hours ago, I got onto the computer to type up a few things. It quickly turned into an episode of "If you give a mouse a cookie..." Ashley was using my computer for iTunes, so I got hers to use instead. Then I noticed it was running slow and had some unfriendly software on it. So I had to uninstall stuff, then clean it physically and software-y, then I changed virus protection, then I decided to download her iPod....
Five hours later and my project hasn't even started.
And I need to fix the printer before I do that....
While waiting for all this, I read through old blog posts. That was fun! We've been through a lot as a family and had many good times. I was reminded that I have a friend that shows up in my life from time to time--through good times and bad.
Depression.
He's been around a lot lately, and made for some tough days. As my bishop said, "Everyone has bad days, but you never know if it's just a bad day or if it's going to hang around for a while."
I don't know why this is my lot in life. I'd love to have the energy and means to do many more good things in life. But I am coming to realize that this life isn't so much about how we get done, but how we learn to adapt our lives to whatever comes. We all face losses in one way or another--for my mom, it was mobility; for my little friend Avery, it means she can't eat what other kids eat; for some it is blessings like marriage or family don't come along in the time frame they'd hoped. But we all face the reality of the imperfections of this life from time to time. And sometimes every day.
So President Uchtdorf's words about slowing down have resonated in my heart today. Just like trees and airplanes, when life has bumps we need to slow down and focus on the basics. I watched an interview with pianist Paul Cardall recently, and he shared how his family realized that all that really mattered was prayer and spending time in the scriptures as he waited for his heart transplant. They had to slow down, and in doing so, found peace and solace in the face of heartbreaking trials.
And so I will be slowing down. I'm not sure what all that will mean for me, because I don't feel like I have much to cut. But I'm sure I'll still be around to blog, if that's OK with you.
Thanks for reading.
And if you want to read some more, check out
Paul Cardall's book...Before My Heart Stops. It's my new favorite.
