The Name That Comes to Your Mind

I started to leave a post about my goals for 2009, but I felt overwhelmingly prompted to leave the following post. One of my goals for 2009 is to give away two Books of Mormon a month. I know it will be a challenge, but I know it will bless the lives of many people, including my own. I gave one away last week and it was a wonderful experience, but I was so nervous. Why is it so hard to do? I served a mission, for Pete's sake! Why was it so easy then, but so hard now? I've had a Book of Mormon with me at work, and I've been meaning to give it away for quite some time. Last Tuesday was my last workday of 2008. By the time I finished writing my last opinion, it was after 10:00 PM; I was mentally exhausted. As I was grabbing my belongings, I saw the book on my shelf and instantly knew that I was supposed to give it to the late-shift shuttle driver (we have to take a shuttle from the courthouse to our parking garage that is 6 blocks away). The shuttle driver for the late shift is quite mean-looking and very grumpy; he's also a giant - very intimidating. He NEVER talks to people and always acts so annoyed when people ask him questions. I was scared to death. When I got outside at the pick-up point, there was no shuttle. I had to walk the 6 blocks to my car. If you're unfamiliar with the walk from 2nd Avenue and Jefferson to 6th Ave and Jackson, it's quite an educational excursion. You WILL be approached by someone, as the area is replete with homeless and miscreants. Making that walk at night is insane. So, I ran the entire 6 blocks, in the middle of the street. Can I run 6 blocks without stopping? Normally, no. However, I can when I'm going from 2nd Avenue & Jefferson to 6th Ave & Jackson at 10:00 PM. Just as I got outside the parking garage, I saw the shuttle pull up. I started to chicken out. I was going to look stupid knocking on the shuttle door and handing him the book.

I prayed for courage, as this was scarier than the neighborhood. Courage arrived immediately - the Holy Ghost. I walked over and tapped on the door. He opened the door and gave me a less-than-inviting look. I introduced myself and told him that I was a member of the church and that I really felt inspired to give him the book. Instantly, his demeanor changed from gruff to gentle. He held the Book of Mormon very delicately and respectfully, as if he knew the pages contained a hallowed message. "I've never owned a Book of Mormon," he said, in a very soft voice, turning the pages ever so attentively with his Goliath-sized fingers. Straight away, as prompted by the Spirit, I bore him my testimony that it was written by prophets living in the ancient Americas, that Christ visited these people, and that it was a companion to the Holy Bible. I pointed to the chapters in 3 Nephi that dealt with Christ's visit and gave him contact information to summon missionaries if he was interested. He gave me a genuine and hearty "Thank you. Merry Christmas," as we said good night. Once inside the elevator, I prayed and thanked Heavenly Father for making that such a positive experience. As I did so, an image came to my mind: the shuttle driver was dressed in white, and my hand rested upon his shoulder to congratulate and welcome him. We were smiling. This image gave me the chills.

I reserve experiences like this for my journal. However, as I mentioned in the beginning of this post, I felt prompted to share it. Family and friends: please oblige me for a few seconds and do this little exercise. Here goes. Completely clear your mind and remove all distractions (kids, TV, etc.). Make sure that your relaxed and that it's quiet around you. Ready? Say a quick prayer and ask Heavenly Father the following question:

With whom should I share the gospel?

The name or image of the person who came to your mind needs you to share the gospel with them. Do it! The Holy Ghost put that name/image in your thoughts - he will help you approach them and tell you what to say. You will be blessed for your faith. Pray for courage, then do it! I'm so thankful for the Brost family in Alaska. I'm thankful that they had the courage to invite a long-haired inactive kid to their branch, despite being told "NO!" numerous times. It changed my life and will bless my posterity forever.

Our Sweet Girl!

Lilee Arrived!

Lilee was born on Friday at 8:24 AM. She weighed 6 lbs 3 oz, and was 20" long. Summer is my hero; she had a baby without an epidural. My wife is beautiful! Lilee is beautiful! Her first visitor was her maternal grandmother, DeeAnn. Lilee had a little bout with poor circulation, so we didn't get to spend our first night with her; she stayed with the nurses. We brought her home yesterday afternoon. I turned the radio on to a station that is currently playing Christmas music; her first song was Winter Wonderland. Her first visitors at home were Brent & Maegen Martineau. Last night, Summer and I had a combined 11 minutes of sleep (or so it seemed). We had forgotten what it was like to have a newborn. We are wiped out. Lilee is so sweet! We are so thankful for all of the calls, texts and visits concerning Lilee and Summer. We're also thankful for those bringing meals and goodies. We are very blessed. As I look at my family and friends, I feel like the richest man in the world.

24-Hour Eviction Notice

Date: November 19, 2008

To: Lilee Jayne Haught:

To the above Tenant now in possession of the below described premises:
· My uterus
· Mostly in Surprise, AZ 85379

You are hereby notified that your tenancy is hereby terminated as of 8:00 am, this, the 19th day of November, 2008.

You are hereby requested to quit, vacate, and deliver possession of said premises to the undersigned on or before 12:00 pm, November 20, 2008.

This notice to vacate is due to your following breach of tenancy:

* Damage to said premises and common areas.

*Assaulting the undersigned by means of physical contact and by causing the reasonable apprehension of fear of imminent physical contact.

*Disturbing the peace of the undersigned and unnecessarily interrupting the quiet enjoyment of said premises and common areas.

*Causing the undersigned nausea, insomnia, heartburn, headaches, leg cramps, odd cravings, grouchiness, and episodes of misery.

*Expanding said premises without the necessary permits.

Should you fail, refuse or neglect to vacate said premises by the aforementioned deadline, I will take such legal action as the law and medicine requires to evict you from said premises. You are to further understand that I shall hold you responsible for all present and future damage to said premises reasonably related to you tenancy and eviction.

In the event that you vacate said premises and it is discovered that you are not Lilee Jayne Haught, but, rather, are a male, I reserve the right to change your name at my discretion. Further, you will wear baby girl clothing for the first 18 months after vacating said premises, as we have reasonably relied on information given us by medical personnel. To discard the baby girl clothing procured to date would cause the undersigned significant financial hardship.

Summer (d.b.a Mommy )

Fall Arrives in the Valley of the Sun

Yes, fall is here, and I love living in the Valley of the Sun. This morning we saw a large herd of field mice coming into the subdivision. As we dodged them in our car, it made us feel like royalty - what did we do to deserve the beholding of the annual desert rodent migration? Suddenly, we were distracted, as the sweet smell of stuff dumped in the desert overnight permeated the air. While people in other parts of the country are bored to tears with nature's paintbrush, we're treated to 5 months of achromatic, hueless landscape, peppered with discarded hide-a-beds.

The Los Angeles Temple at Night

This picture speaks volumes. Buckle up!

Discipline? Abuse?

Yesterday, after church, we saw a 4th-grader in Rylee's school, accompanied by her father, walking down Greenway Rd. She was wearing a homemade sandwich board that read, on both sides: I STOLE $100 FROM MY MOM. I took the pictures, then pulled alongside them. The dad, obviously anticipating an attack from an I-want-to-be-my-kid's-best-friend-so-I-don't-discipline parent, looked at me cautiously. "You are a GREAT dad," I said. The dad replied, "She's got to own up to what she did." If every parent held their child accountable for their actions, I'd be out of a job - the criminal justice system would evaporate. A sandwich board for every misstep? Nope. But, if my kids steal $100, they'll be walking down Greenway with the same sign, with bright red butts. Great dad. Go ahead, sound off with your comments - I really want to hear your opinions. Statistically, 80% of you will disagree with this approach.

Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy

From 1991 to 2003, Saturday Night Live aired little thoughts accompanied by soft piano music. These were titled Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy; they were a big hit. Here are some of my favorites:

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor.

“If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city - boy, I don't know what to tell you."

“Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared."

“Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend."

“When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns."

If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.

Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new name for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname "Fly Head." Normally, you would think that "Fly Head" would mean a person who has beautiful swept-back features, as if flying through the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean "having a head like a fly"? I'm afraid some people might actually think that.

As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you ask. "That's dynamite, baby."

He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said: Dust to dust, some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others: I'll be waiting for you in heaven - with a gun.

I remember how my great-uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint.

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. 'You don't have to tell me,' I said. 'I'm off the team, aren't I?' 'Well,' said Coach 'you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times.' It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought, something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

I wish there was a disease where you're afraid of clouds, because I think I could cure it. First, you sit the patient down and have a long, personal talk. After that, I'm not sure, but maybe you could throw water in his face or something.

I'd have to say that my favorite uncle was Uncle Caveman. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and occasionally he'd eat one of us. Later, we found out he was a bear.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a million ants just to aim a gun at me, let alone fire it. And you know what I'm doing while they're aiming it at me? I just sort of slip off to the side, and then suddenly run up and kick the gun out of their hands.

If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Tramp-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.

If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Martha cook up about a hundred drumsticks, the guy at the Marineland says, "You can't throw chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish." Sure they eat fish, if that's all you give them. Man, wise up.

Hunter's First Shave

Hunter has been accumulating mustache fuzz for several months, and it got to the point that, in the right lighting, he had a blond mustache. While mustaches on 14-year-olds are popular in many cultures, Homey don't play that. So, yesterday, I took him to a barber shop. An old Russian guy named Hamlet gave him a straight-razor shave. Hunter loved it. Garrett and Hannah thought it was pretty cool, too. Yes, I know, I know, it will grow back even thicker. Who cares...he'll start shaving. (Side note: I did not misspell "blond." The rule is that you add the "e" only when referring to females).

Thankful for Service

On Tuesday, Summer was hospitalized overnight for gall stones. The pain was so great that it caused her to have contractions. After they stabilized her and had her rest for 20 hours, they released her. She has been on bed rest since then, and was placed on a no-fat diet until after Lilee is here (less than 6 weeks). We are so thankful for her visiting teacher and for all of you who called to check on her and brought meals over for our family. These greats saints brought over things that Summer could eat, too. Summer is doing a lot better, but still feels very nauseated (this may stem from the fact that I grew a beard this week - just to see how it would look; I look like the Unibomber). The surgeon said that they're going to take Summer's gall bladder 2 weeks after Lilee is born. I sure love my sweet wife, and I love our sweet ward.

Lilee's Corner

Well, I spent my Saturday painting before, between and after sessions of General Conference. This is Lilee's half of our home office. Once she's here, I'll be banished to the living room with the laptop if I ever want on the Internet. We just added the armoire for her clothes. We are so exited to get her here. I hope everything goes well. Knowing that they're so vulnerable makes me sick. I worry about it every day. Hearing that someone just lost their 7-month-old (while he was taking a nap) makes me even sicker. I constantly pray that all goes well for Summer and Lilee. I feel so sorry for Summer. She's so petite and she can't have an epidural. When I say that to some women, they're all "Oh yeah, I never have epidurals and I love it. I've had 27 kids and never had some much as an aspirin. I had a baby one morning, snowshoed into Fairbanks that afternoon, then tended bar all night." Whatever. I'm sure it kills. Even with an epidural, the expression on the woman's face looks like she's been stuck in an elevator with Fran Drescher.

Things I overheard at the courthouse this morning

"I doubt she'll go for the plea. She's rides a broom and rolls her own cigarettes. "

"I swear I think the inmates pee in here."

"Yes, if they're wearing a mask, they're messed up. It's that simple."

"Glendale? Why would anyone move to Glendale? I can see moving from Glendale."

"If he pulls that crap, have the judge order him to answer your questions. It's trial time, not game time."

"It's great to see you, too. You always look so cute." (elevator door closes) "Who was that?"

"I need to see a judge - right now. Not later. Right now."

(Loud laughter) "I thought you meant seal, as in the animal. Okay, that makes more sense."

Tonight, I am grateful for my daughter's testimony

I always tell my kids to "be giants." I want them to stand out in the crowd, never blending in with the hosts of people in the "great and spacious building." Because of our hectic schedules, it ended up just being Hannah and me here tonight, and I still had home teaching to do. Yes, I know, it was the last day of the month. Quit judging! Anywho, I took Hannah with me because my home teaching partner, Garrett, was playing in his 8th-grade baseball game. At the end of one of the lessons, Hannah piped in and asked, "Dad, can I tell them a story about prayer?" My first thoughts were, Why didn't I include this young lady in the lesson? She has a great testimony and she's very bright. Am I so arrogant to think that only I can teach the lesson? I quickly repented and ask her to please tell her story. She related an experience from this past weekend, when she traveled to Flagstaff with a non-member friend and the friend's family. Hannah is at a new school this year and this is a very new friendship. When she and her friend were out in the boonies on a Rhino cart, it broke down and would not start. Her friend tried to start the cart many, many times, but it was to no avail. Hannah said, "I know this is going to sound weird, but let's say a prayer." "Okay," her friend replied, pressing her flattened palms together, and bowing her head until her lips touched the tips of her fingers. "You can just fold your arms," Hannah explained, with loving instruction. As Hannah prayed, she petitioned for the cart to start so that they could get back to the cabin. After their short prayer, the friend tried to start the cart, but nothing happened. Hannah said a lightning-quick prayer: "Heavenly Father, please make the cart start - my friend needs to see that prayer works. Please help it to start. Please?" The cart started on the second attempt. "Thank you! Thank you!," Hannah prayed in her mind. "Wow!" exclaimed her friend, "That prayer really worked." Just as they were pulling up to the cabin, the cart's engine failed again.

~~~~~

Later in the day, the friend was trying to contact her biological mother on her cell phone. She really wanted to get through, but after ten attempts, her efforts seemed hopeless; her mother was not answering her phone. "Let's say a prayer," Hannah suggested. This time, the friend folded her arms and followed Hannah to reverently-bowed heads and closed eyes. In this prayer, Hannah explained that her friend really wanted to talk to her mother, and asked Heavenly Father if he would please make sure that the mother answered her phone. As before, on the second attempt immediately after the prayer, the girl's mother answered the phone. Once again, the girl was amazed that their prayer brought to pass such a result.

~~~~~

As Hannah told this story tonight, my eyes filled with tears for 2 reasons: 1) the Spirit testified quite strongly to the truthfulness of her account; and 2) I realized how strong the spirits are in these, the last days. I am so proud and blessed to be the father of such a strong young woman. What a missionary! What a faithful daughter of a merciful God! I don't know that I would have done that as a child, or right now, given the circumstances (non-member friend, budding friendship). I want to be just like Hannah when I grow up. Does Heavenly Father care if a Rhino starts, or if a phone gets answered? He does if two of his daughters are displaying great faith, and one is praying that their petition is heard and granted in an effort to show the other how to communicate with her creator. What a wonderful thing.

~~~~~

Matthew 6:8 ...your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

.

D&C 88:63-64:
63 Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
64 Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you;

Summer at 31 Weeks

Well, Summer has about 8 weeks to go. She's both anxious and excited. Due to her spinal fusion she can't have an epidural, so it will be like giving birth out on the prairie (except there will be a gift shop).

On Monday, My Sodium Intake Will Increase 700%

Yep, the Pei Wei in Surprise opens this Monday and I will be the first, second and third in line. I will leave there on a gurney.

Lilee's 3-D ultrasound

Summer had a 3-D ultrasound this week. The placenta and cord were all in her face, so the images are a bit distorted. I was happy to see those chubby cheeks. We're getting really excited!

Rye Flower

In 1967 my mother lost her 15-month-old baby girl. My mother was so distraught and had many questions, especially Why would God take my baby? At the funeral, her great-aunt leaned over and whispered these profound words: "Sometimes even God stops to pick a flower." Yesterday, I attended the funeral of my baby nephew, Porter Jackson Haught, at our family cemetery in Rye. One would think that during such an event, insurmountable grief would fill the air. Amazingly, this was offset by an unlikely source of strength, Porter's parents, Blue & Kelly. My brother, Blue, and his wonderful wife, Kelly, spoke at the graveside and reassured those in attendance that they would live their lives in such a manner that they would be worthy to see Porter again. The spirit of their message was so promising, so uplifting and powerful, and full of light, hope and joy. While they delivered their beautiful messages very tearfully, the Atonement was their theme, and their testimonies of the restored Gospel and the sealing powers of the temple resonated throughout their tender tribute to the little Rye flower, Porter Jackson Haught.

20 Things for which I'm Thankful

In no particular order:

Krispy Kreme Donuts returning to the Valley

Krispy Kreme Donuts being 50 miles away (otherwise I'd be a B cup)

Summer, our kids and my entire family!!

The Atonement and the Restoration

The example of faith & strength exhibited by my brother, Blue, and his amazing wife, Kelly

My desire to study the scriptures every day. I LOVE them!

Being raised on a ranch, in simpler times

Being able to laugh at myself despite having a billion faults & problems

Our awesome ward! Our awesome stake! Our awesome friends in the ward!

My friend, Sal, and his decision to get baptized next Saturday.

The Wellman's (FYI: don't call them between 5:00 pm & noon - they're sleeping)

The recipes that Jaime Pressley gave us (however, now I can't wear 3 of my suits)

The infrequency of my interaction with the deadly, omnivorous Praying Mantis.

Ibuprofen and days on which my back doesn't kill me

President Nally always having the answer whenever I have a question about doctrine

Ice-cold Tang

40 trouble-free years of Raspberry Zingers. However, as of 6 weeks ago, I can never eat them again (it's a horrific tale involving 10 Zingers, a 2-pack of enemas, followed by 3 days of Desitin).

The Andy Griffith Show

The miracle of forgiveness

Sarah Palin - she saved the election

Here's Summer at 26 weeks!

Summer is doing very well and we are so excited to hold baby Lilee. Compare this to the June 12 post. I'll do better about posting.

He's a She!!!

My apologies to: my mom; my daughter, Hannah; my friends Joccelyn, Sal, and Christine - you were right, we were wrong. We just KNEW that we were having a boy. However, the ultrasound tech says it's a girl and contends that she has only been wrong once, and that was 16 years ago. Accordingly, baby Lilly will be evicted from her current residence on December 5th. I'm so excited to hold that sweet girl!!!!! We're saving the boy name we'd chosen. If we don't have another child, we'll trade the name for food storage or an acre of land in Jackson Hole. Yep, it's that good. My wife is such a beautiful pregnant woman; she literally glows. We don't even use a night light anymore - I just pull back the covers and the room lights up. I love her, a lot. I swear if she ever leaves me, I'm going with her. Yep, she's that awesome.

My "Water Dog" Story

When I was 5 years old, the neighbor kids asked me if I wanted to accompany them to a forest pond and “catch water dogs.” Though I had never heard this term, I owned three volumes of Animal Kingdom Illustrated, one of which showed a picture of roughly a dozen Labrador Retrievers frolicking in a pond. A dog. Lots of dogs! I’m bringing home lots of dogs! I thought. I ran to my room and removed the laces from every shoe in my closet. The laces would serve to help me bridle these maverick labs back to my house. I vividly remember my mother standing at the sink washing dishes as she nodded in approval at my request to “go get something at the pond.” There was no way I was going to give her an opportunity for a preemptive strike on these dogs (i.e. maternus detestus caninus). I then raced out the door to meet the others at the mailboxes. The coffee cans carried by the other boys caused me some bewilderment, but it was their awkward stares at my shoestrings that created a cloud of confusion. Shoulders shrugged and we moved on. Coffee cans? How will you catch dogs with coffee cans? I assumed they were going to attempt to lure the dogs from the pond with the ol’ “empty can of food” trick, one that I had seen my grandfather utilize hundreds of times to manipulate horses. Maybe I should have brought a coffee can.

On the way to the pond I heard talk of “scar[ing] them into the shallow end,” and of the construction of a “sand dam,” as tactics we would employ in the arrest of the dogs. Scaring the dogs in any direction seemed to undermine our ultimate goal. “They’ll just run off,” I interjected. “No they won’t. They don’t have legs,” said the boys, in unison. Before this ghastly disclosure, I was daunted by the image of the size of sand dam we would need to build in order to constrain large dogs. Now, their plans were very logical; it would be a small dam to prevent the labs from floating away. We weren’t dealing with your average yard dog – these were quadruple-amputees confined to the bounds of a forest pond.

Now, irrespective of whether a judgmental society had banished them to this pond, or whether their exile was self-imposed, I was still perplexed that so many of the misfits made their way to the same pond in Payson, Arizona. Could this be the “elephant graveyard” for handicapped Labrador Retrievers? “How did they get to the pond?” I asked. “They were born there, stupid,” I was sharply informed. I was immediately afraid of the forest and the pond. I now pictured the pond as deep and murky. My desire to bring these “things” home vanished. My vision of several labs gamboling about in my front yard was replaced with images of a yard full of wailing, disabled, demonic retrievers. A dog from this pond unquestionably would fail the scrutiny of my mother. I wanted to go home. “I don’t feel like getting a water dog now. We have a bunch in Gisela at my Grandma’s place.” My grandmother did not have a single handicapped lab, but this was sure to at least buy me some distance from the pond. I did not want to see these malformed mutts, not even in my peripherals.

Succumbing to the jeers and taunts of the neighbor kids, I cautiously accompanied them to the hell hole. As we stood on the beach of the quarter-acre pond, I was actually relieved not to see any dogs in such a miserable predicament. What happened to the labs? Did they emigrate due to shame? How did they leave? Were they now somehow ambulatory? Did something in the forest kill them? Do beavers kill stuff? Maybe a wolverine rid the pond of these freaks. As several thoughts raced through my mind, my thoughts were brought to focus - the boys began filling their coffee cans with salamanders. The boys didn’t call them salamanders; they called them “waterdogs.” Within minutes, I learned that I was afraid of holding salamanders/waterdogs – even more fearful than I was of a praying mantis being stuck on the front of my shirt. (Note: In kindergarten, I puked while removing a mantis from my shirt…when its legs were torn from it’s torso, yet they still clung to my shirt and contracted and writhed about). I digress.

Unfortunately, I must have worn my apprehension on my sleeve. Throwing waterdogs on me and putting them down the back of my shorts quickly became a sport for the others. Upon arriving home seconds later, I restrung my shoelaces while I reported the failed operation to my mother. She laughed and cried, in chorus. Though it was the “cutest story [she’d] ever heard,” she didn’t get me a dog. “We don’t have a fence. It would run away,” she informed me. "Not if it didn’t have any legs," I quipped. Truthfully, no quip followed her admonition, but I wish I had said that at age 5. Several years would pass before I could successfully couple irony and sarcasm. I'm still afraid to touch a praying mantis.

The Scariest Creature on Earth (aside from Richard Simmons)

Day Trip to Durango, Colorado

This morning, a friend flew a group of us to Durango for the day to watch our buddy, Jason, compete in an adventure race (running, orienteering, mountain-biking, and kayaking) for 12 hours. As you can see in the photo, we experienced some turbulence. Jason really did a great job! Durango is beautiful!!! I swear I'm competing in this next year, so long as OxyContin sponsors me and my bad back.

Jason, after the run, getting ready for the mountain bike ride

Jason (right) and teammate, Reed, leaving for the long ride

Where the kayaks put in

Julie, Jenny, Reed's dad, Gaye, Summer, Natalie and Scott

Summer, as we were leaving Durango.

16 Weeks!!!!

My beautiful wife is 16 weeks along!!! In less than 4 weeks we'll get to see whether we're having a boy or a girl. We have settled on the girl name (Smo Kin Haught), but the jury is still out on the name for the boy.

B&B in Snowflake

The Heritage Inn

Their famous "German baby" (lemon souffle')

Homemade strawberry syrup!

Lobby

Owner Dean Porter setting out the breakfast sides

The LDS church across the street - monument

We just stayed at our favorite B&B. It's called the Osmer D. Heritage Inn, it's in Snowflake, AZ. The owner, Dean Porter, is such a kind man, full of stories and history of the building and the town. He talks to the guests during breakfast and tells great stories. The breakfast is FANTASTIC! Try the German babies!!!! The rooms are so clean and decorated with antiques. You will LOVE this place and will return several times a year - trust me. What's nice is you park your car on Friday, and you won't use it again until Sunday afternoon when you leave. The grocery store and church are across the street, and a great Mexican food restaurant is next door. We always take our Sunday clothes and attend the LDS services in the 100-year-old building; it is quite a step back in time. Notably, the temple is 3 miles away. Words can't do this place justice - look at the pictures. The rates are so cheap! Tell Dean that I sent you; I told him I send him lots of business. The website is http://www.heritage-inn.net/guest_rooms.html.

President Hinckley's Story of the Bricklayer

To hear President Hinckley tell this story is hysterical!
Be sure and click on the pause button on my playlist at the bottom of my page, otherwise you'll go nuts listening to this and my songs.

My Granddad & the Spirit of Elijah

Two days ago, I had the blessed opportunity of taking my son, Hunter, to the Mesa Temple and baptizing him on behalf of my deceased maternal grandfather, Calvin Griffin Peace. It was a remarkable experience, as we truly felt the unmistakable spirit of Elijah. We performed over 50 proxy baptisms for my deceased family members. In the past few weeks, I've had a relentless desire to do genealogy work. I love it! It feels so good to put together pieces of the family tree that were lost or undiscovered. I have not been alone in this work, and I've felt the Spirit of Elijah on many occasions during these past few weeks. I know I have many non-Mormon friends and family that read my blog, so let me explain what I'm talking about. For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the spirit of Elijah is the spirit of family kinship and unity. It is the spirit that motivates the concern to search out ancestral family members through family history; and, on their behalf, to perform proxy baptisms, temple endowments, and sealing ordinances. This is seen as fulfillment of the prophecy of Malachi that in the last days Elijah "will turn the heart [in Hebrew, the innermost part, as the soul, the affections] of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers" (Malachi. 4:5-6).

The appearance of Elijah to the Prophet Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery in the Kirtland Temple in 1836 inaugurated anew this spirit. The spirit of Elijah is active in the impetus anyone feels toward finding and cherishing family members and family ties past and present. In the global sense, the spirit of Elijah is the spirit of love that may eventually overcome all human family estrangements. Mormons are therefore very zealous about collecting and submitting the names of their ancestors for this great, saving work. Baptism for the dead in these holy temples gives those who would have embraced Christ and His church the opportunity to do so after death. It is a wonderful gift granted by a merciful God. I've included a photo of an LDS temple baptismal font, where these sacred ordinances are performed. These baptismal fonts always rest on the backs of 12 oxen, which represent the 12 tribes of Israel. If you want to see one of these fonts in person, let me baptize you first, then I'll take you there. :) Hey, I'm never pushy, but every once in a while I have to try. :)

Hunter doing a cannonball at the Narrows in Gisela

We can't wait for the warmer weather, as we'll head to my family's place in Gisela and go cliff jumping at the Narrows. This picture was right after a heavy rain, so the water was muddy. I told Hunter where the rocks were and exactly where to jump. He trusted me and made a safe jump. I swam here all summer for many years as a kid, and I've seen the "landing area" in clear water. The faith Hunter exhibited was remarkable. He trusted me because he knows I love him and my perception of the swimming hole is not veiled or clouded by the mud. Ya see where I'm going with this?

MEET FIVE OF MY HEROES

Meet 5 of my very best friends. Meet 5 powerful missionaries.

The Lord Speaks to this Man

Today, Summer, the kids and I participated in the Solemn Assembly (from our home), thereby sustaining the new prophet, Thomas S. Monson, and other church leaders. It was a neat experience. This remarkable event has occurred only 15 times in the latter-day Church's 178-year history. At tonight's Priesthood Session, President Monson spoke with a very unique voice and spirit I had not before heard in him. The mantle has rested upon him; he is a prophet of God. The windows of heaven were re-opened in 1820. The Lord lives and speaks to His prophet. Learn more at http://www.jesuschrist.lds.org/.