Addie-isms with a little bit of Sam

Oh boy, my kids have been cracking me up lately. Addie has had a lot on her mind these days. Yesterday she told me, "Mom, I'm just a little bit sad." (I often hear I'm just a little fill in the blank for whatever emotion or feeling she currently has be it hungry, tired, sad, etc.) Upon further inquiry as to why she could be so sad she elaborated "I've just been thinking about my life and all the naughty things I do and sometimes I be naughty to you and that makes me sad." Having a 3 year old with a guilt complex sure makes you realize how bad you must be if she has that much guilt in her short sojourn in mortality. I did my best to alleviate her guilt-ridden conscience and get her to return to her world of dress-ups and pretend play. What a girl.

Recently while dressing up, she told me she was just feeling princess-y. I'm sure many a little girl has felt the same way and was so glad she added this adjective to part of our regular vernacular.

Sam has mastered clapping on demand and added that skill to his repertoire of cuteness. He has cut both of his top teeth this week, has eaten like a bottomless pit making me realize maybe I should be feeding him more, and enjoyed what I like to call his box Christmas- every kid has one where they're more interested in all of the packaging then what it contains.

My kids are really pretty delightful right now. I've really enjoyed the magic of this season seeing everything through their eyes, and I'm really enjoying motherhood. Maybe especially because Sam is just a few weeks away from being done nursing. Hooray!

I've been thinking lots of thoughts for my new year's post, so don't worry, it will be coming not a moment too soon!

Our Christmas Unwrapped

I have to say although this Christmas was packed full, it was great. Christmas Eve was a nice quiet night by ourselves, and I managed to peel myself away from truffle making, present wrapping, and next day prep for some good quality time reading some traditional Luke 2 and the beautiful new Night Before Christmas book we received- a cut-paper edition that is just exquisite. After special baths, new jammies, our fireplace turned on, and our reading by the Christmas tree, the kids went to bed and I stayed up cooking and cooking and cooking and wrapping followed by a little more cooking. I fell into bed totally exhausted, and luckily the kids were tired too and slept in a little. We didn't start presents until around 8:15 the next morning! We received some great gifts this year from our wonderful families. I am so pleased with the gift cards I received- trips to Nordstrom, the movies, the spa, and dinner at Sundance will be enjoyed in the near future! We also received a nice check, I got the oh so soft red robe from bath and body works, the fabric and pattern book I posted about earlier, and other miscellaneous items.

We woke up Christmas morning, did gifts, then worked on brunch preparation for my mom, step dad, and step bro and step sis to come over. I made seriously delicious maple-vanilla french toast, bacon, and some fruit. As soon as they left we were out the door to Pat's parents' house for more presents. We left there and made it back to our house to pick up lots of food, and then headed to my sister-in-law's sister's house for our 26 person Christmas dinner. It was so fun. The food was delicious. I made my guitar hero debut, and loved it! I only wish I would've had more time to rock the house. Finally at 9:30, we returned home, put away a little bit of the Christmas clutter, and called it a night.

The greatest blessings were spending time together and taking time to reflect on the birth of the Savior. As frustrated as the gift-giving aspect can be picking out the perfect things without getting wrapped up in the commercialism, I really tried to focus on the symbolic reasons why we give gifts- in memory of the Savior's birth. He has given us the ultimate gift and shown us the greatest love, but we can give gifts in that same spirit- giving a small portion of our love and a representation of our love for the Savior. Oh, Christmas- what a beautiful holiday you are, full of meaning, tradition, and joy.

The Children are Nestled...

And I should be, too! It's been an action packed day of grocery shopping, truffle making, present wrapping, Christmas story reading, house cleaning, and some good family fun in there, too. I'm exhausted, but excited for tomorrow and the joy I will see in my children's eyes. To all of my sweet bloggin' friends, merry merry. Hope your Christmas is full of blessings.

Trying to Fix my Pics

In an effort to show you all the creation I plan to attempt, here's the link. Sorry the pics weren't working, since I could see them I guess I couldn't tell!

A New Project, or In Too Deep

I think I've bitten off more than I can chew. I ordered my own Christmas gifts this year. Looking at them makes me happy. I've drooled over them for months. I ordered thesein hopes of making this:



So now I have a lot of learning to do. Since I don't even know what a selvage is. All I know is I want that quilt hanging on the wall in my family room. I need to suck up to some nice older ladies in my ward and see if they'll take me under their seasoned-quilter's wings. Or maybe I need to call a local quilt shop to see if I can get step by step lessons in how to make this. I have a mix of excitement and overwhelmed swimming in my head. If you have any quilting wisdom, please pass it on. I surely need it!

Baby Girl

How did we get from this to this? How did you produce emotions in me I never knew existed? How did you teach me so much about the nature of God? Happy 3rd birthday, sweet Adelynn Anne. You make my heart leap out of my chest. You make me laugh and cry all at once. You make me so proud to be a mother. I love you.

Good, Bad, and Indifferent

Let me explain my blogging absence with some very brief recaps about our latest happenings.

1. Friday night was our outing with Pat's family to the MoTab/King's Singers Christmas concert. I had a lovely time in our fantastic seats. Lessons learned: Don't mess with the door guards. The altercation I witnessed between an 80-something door guard and a 40-something concert attendee was just wrong on so many levels. The other lesson of the night was letting your child skip a nap in hopes they'll fall asleep for the baby sitter doesn't always work out.

2. Saturday one of my old roommates came over with her boyfriend who I met for the first time. Note to self: start shopping for a wedding gift. They're totally happy, and I wouldn't be surprised if this relationship goes the distance.

3. Sunday we were up early to trek to Salt Lake for my step-brother's farewell. I met my step-dad's ex and her family- very cordial, but always a little awkward. The joys of divorce. We made it back down to the last hour of our church, only to have Addie not want to go to nursery, so Pat ended up staying with her the whole time.

4. I got a new calling! Now in addition to being the VT coordinator, I'm the 3rd Sunday Relief Society Teacher. I am so so so excited. I need to make it to the distribution center stat so I can pick up a manual. I can't wait for them to get handed out at the start of the year- I have lessons to prepare!

5. I won Hannah's pay it forward! Now it's up to me to be awesome and creative. More details to come about that- in fact an entire post will be devoted to it I'm sure.

6. Sam is sick sick sick. Fever of 103. Runny nose, cough, vomiting. Vomiting applesauce all over me and him as we were supposed to walk out the door to a Christmas party last night. Needless to say, we didn't make it. I did take Sam to the dr. after hours last night. Double ear infections. Still barfing today. Poor boy.

7. Addie popped her elbow out yesterday during our struggle for her to take a nap. I think I fixed it when I was getting her out of the car at the dr.'s office. Oh so fun, the days when you make it to the doctor twice, once for each kid.

8. Our neighbors who didn't make it to the Christmas party came over with a neighbor gift Sunday. I hope they won't think we're all jerks when they're not getting any neighbor gifts in return.

Eight is going to have to be enough for now. Sam's fussing is escalating. Hope to return to the bloggin' world soon.

I Promise...

To catch up on recent happenings by blogging about them this week. I feel like life is racing at top speeds, and the mad dash to the Christmas finish line is fully upon us. Oh yes, with Addie's birthday sandwiched in between. I promise I'll blog. Soon. Be patient, friends. Good things come to those who wait.

I Have to Share

If you're going to a party and have to wear Bethlehem attire, definitely dress your baby as a sheep. He'll be the hit of the party.

Heck with the goose...

Christmas is coming and *I* am getting fat. No goose necessary in this version of the song. My mom manages an LA weight loss center. She informed me that 70% of America gains an average of 12 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years. Blah. But the way I've been going, it's not hard to believe. My jeans are going to be muffin toppin' pretty soon, and we all know there's nothing attractive about that. I have to say between my BIL's birthday bbq (his favorite thing is hamburgers, and who can resist delicious summer food they haven't eaten for months?) and scrumptious desserts shared with our neighbors last night, I already have some work to do.

I have to say, I think our neighborhood party was a success. I have boxes of canned food on my kitchen counters that we collected last night. Some neighbors didn't come, but out of the 2 no shows, one sent some canned food along with their regrets and a valid excuse, so I was happy with the turn out. We talked and laughed, shared traditions, and one neighbor already volunteered to host next year- so I'm off the hook, hopefully for a few years to come! I think one thing enjoyed by all the neighbors was my hot chocolate "station". I had cups next to a crock pot full of hot chocolate, and then a bunch of fixings in little bowls- candy canes, caramel sauce, marshmallows, sprinkles, and whipped cream, so you could create your own flavor of hot chocolate. Who doesn't love hot chocolate?

I still have some Christmas shopping to finish, but I'm feeling pretty good about what I have done so far. The packages have started arriving, which is one of my favorite parts of internet shopping. Today I dragged some boxes in the house, and Addie looked at them and matter of fact-ly stated, "oh, Santa came?". No dear, his suit is red, not brown, and his packaging is a little more exciting than a cardboard box. I thought it was pretty funny, though.

Sam is growing up so fast! Last week I looked over to see him walking across the floor holding on to Addie's rocking chair. Um, that's not supposed to happen yet! So I pulled out a little walker toy, but he's not totally interested which is fine by me. Today I found him with one leg up ready to hoist himself to standing position on previously mentioned rocking chair. He's becoming quite the climber. He is still the happiest kid. His naps are all over the place lately, I think because he's trying to cut back to one nap a day, so hopefully we'll get his schedule back on track soon.

Tomorrow is our ward Christmas party and I'm really excited. We're doing "A Night in Bethlehem", so tomorrow's task is to fashion some costumes for the fam. I'd love for Sam to go as a sheep, but I'm not sure that's going to happen when I'm doing costumes the day of which will mostly consist of sheets and towels. Hopefully I'll get around to taking Christmas pictures of my house before the season is over. I'm happy to find blogging time at all, right now! Two weeks 'til the big day, friends.

Friday Already?

You'll have to forgive my lack of posting. The week feels like a blur. It's not like I could even nail down the things that have kept me busy, nevertheless, it's been busy. Let me see if I can recap.

The kids have definitely contributed to my busyness this week. Addie and I have had some rough days together. I think she's having a hard time adjusting to Pat contracting and not being home everyday like he has been for the past few months. The earlier part of the week was much worse, but we've started to smooth things out some. She's just sooooo emotional and then has gotten so feisty when she hasn't gotten her way. She reduced me to tears on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday?) just feeling like I don't now how to meet her needs when she's breaking down so much and being so frustrated to wake up everyday to get beat up by my toddler. Don't worry, things are improving, but I've been reminded at how hard parenting really is. Babies are a piece of cake, it's these toddlers that are the struggle! But who knows, I'll probably be ready to trade my teens for toddlers by the time I get to that stage. ;)

Last night we had our Relief Society Christmas party. It was nice to get out of the house and into the Christmas spirit. After it was done, I did a Target trip and started chipping away at some more Christmas shopping. I still have a lot to do, but it's coming along. Today I'm hoping to knock out an Amazon.com order and an LL Bean order- ah how I love internet shopping!

One of my friends from college called Wednesday to let me know she'd be in town this weekend for a wedding, so she's staying with us. She arrived last night and will leave Saturday, but it's fun to have a chance to see her. Addie keeps calling her Amy instead of her real name, Heather, because she just can't shake her love for my high school friend that we stayed with on our trip to Idaho.

Next week is going to be a blur. We have BIL's birthday Sunday, our neighborhood party Monday, ward party Wednesday, MoTab concert Friday, friends over for dinner on Saturday, step-brother's farewell Sunday...it's a whirlwind! I'm hoping I'll find more time to blog though, I still need to take pics of my Christmas decor! I've got to get serious about finishing some shopping this weekend. I must admit, the inclement weather here is less than inspiring. Hope you're keeping up with everything and still finding time to enjoy the season!

Picking Up Pace

I'm sure it's true at your house too, the holidays are in full swing around here. We have two parties this week, three parties next week (one of which is my BIL's birthday party), Addie's birthday the following week, and then Christmas! I'm trying to keep the balance of getting things done but still slowing down to enjoy the season. Last night I watched the Christmas devotional, and it was followed by old episodes of Music and the Spoken Word Christmas mini-concerts. It was such a nice treat to enjoy the music of the season as sung by the MoTab while I loaded the dishwasher, picked up toys, and did my other rituals in putting the house to bed. My MIL got us tickets to the Christmas concert in a couple of weeks, and I'm so excited to go. It's something I always enjoy- who can resist good Christmas tunes?

My favorite activity to slow down is to sit by the tree. Our tree is in our living room, so I don't have a lot of cozying around it time because the bulk of our time is spent in the family room. Sometimes I bring someone to enjoy the Christmas tree splendor with- last night it was Addie, some nights it's Pat, and Sam needs his first Christmas cuddles too before all is said and done, but I also enjoy the nights after everyone is in bed and I'm by myself with the tree. I don't take a lot of time to be alone and ponder and meditate, but for some reason the Christmas tree helps me accomplish this. I'll have to post a picture of the tree soon and attach it to this post. If you're not already enjoying some time to be cozy around your tree, I highly recommend it.

Getting Back to My Old Self Again....

Pat has started contracting again. The excitement is building for his interview Monday. I'm starting to feel back to my old self again. With the cold/snowy weather on Tuesday, I spent my afternoon in the kitchen and it was so nice! I made rolls and used half the dough to make cinnamon rolls- my first time from scratch- to take to book club. We had an impromptu dinner with friends with potato soup and rolls. I made a couple batches of baby food in the afternoon. It was the perfect way to spend a gray day. Book club was fun and low stress, just what I needed, and I think my cinnamon rolls were well received.

Yesterday Addie had her first non-family birthday party. What a milestone! She was so excited, and I was going to stay, but the other parents were all leaving, so I left too. It was a big day at our house, and I'm glad she had a great time with one of her first friends. While Addie was at the party, I delivered invitations to all of our neighbors for a Christmas party at our house. I decided this year we'd get together and have a food drive instead of swapping neighbor gifts, so I hope my neighbors get on board with my self-proclaimed great idea. Everyone is supposed to bring a dessert to share, so we can eat treats, visit, box up the food, swap stories about holiday traditions, and have a great time!

This morning Hannah and Melissa came over for brunch. It was so fun since we've been trying to get together for ages, and this morning we actually managed it! We talked and laughed and swapped MIL stories while the kids played surprisingly well together (especially considering Addie's grumpiness since she has a no-nap hangover due to the birthday party yesterday- I think the day after she misses a nap is always worse than the day of the missed nap).

All of this entertaining has helped me realize that I'm getting back to normal after the hard time we've had. It really had me in a funk, and I'm so happy to be pulling out of it. I have to remember that there are some things that I don't want to revert to, though, and as good as it is to feel like my old self, I hope I'll be my old self but a little bit wiser due to the school of experience I was just blessed to receive.

Decking the Halls

Sorry I've been such a blog slacker. I've been busy prettying up the homestead for the holidays. I must say, it's looking rather festive. I wish I had a little more in my "new decorations" fund, but hopefully by the time the after-Christmas clearances roll around, I can beef up on a some things for next season. I love having my house decorated for Christmas- it feels so much more "done" than when everything is put away, and I love to entertain. I'm hoping for a few big shindigs in the coming month, so we'll see how that works out. I'll keep you posted on all party planning details. Entertaining seems to take double the energy now that I have kids, but it's still something I enjoy!

Now I need to get started on some Christmas shopping. I've started to make lists of who is getting what, now I just need to hunt for deals and complete the actual shopping part of it all. It's serious madness out already, and I'm dreading it. I had to run to Target today for diapers, and it was a zoo! I wish there was a separate section for non-Christmas shoppers so those who just need to pick up an item or two can beat the crowds. I'm hoping to do some shopping on-line to cut down on the craziness, so we'll see how it goes.

Tomorrow night is our book group Christmas party. I need to take a yummy dessert- any suggestions? We read the book A Stranger for Christmas, a good little 60 pager since everyone is starting to get busy with the holidays, and we'll take next month off. I also need to bring a book for a book exchange, so I need to go through my collection to see what I'm done with or if I want to go pick up an extra copy of an old favorite. Hope you've all had a great start to the week!

My Tummy is Full...

but my heart is fuller. It's been a pretty nice day. Definitely busy morning, because my mom and her husband and my in-laws were all coming here at 1:00, which meant a tight time table this morning. Things were right on schedule until my turkey took an extra hour to cook, so we started eating half an hour later than I'd hoped, but still not too shabby. I was in charge of the turkey, stuffing, rolls, gravy, as well as a sweet potato and apple recipe which I tried but didn't love, and a few brownies to supplement the pies made by Pat's mom (I think Addie was the only one who opted for a brownie). Other dishes we dined on included a delicious squash souffle, broccoli-rice casserole, cranberry jell-o salad (which is really the only way I'll eat jell-o- this is so yum!), a spinach salad, veggies and dip, and I think that was about it. We ate at 1:30 and I'm still full. It's after 9:00. I'm still full. That is not a good sign.

However, the important parts. I'm so grateful for a good life with a good family. I'm grateful for the Patrick-Christina-Addie-Sam family, and although our families of origin are important, this is the one that I place the most stock in right now. This is the one that overflows my heart. There are so many things that I take for granted and my eyes have been more opened to them recently then ever before. I remember when I had Addie and I looked at her and saw 10 fingers and 10 toes and realized what a miracle that was to have a perfect healthy baby when not everyone is so lucky. Countless blessings are so easily overlooked. Speaking of blessings, yesterday morning a company that Pat had contracted with a few weeks back called to offer him another contract position that could last around 2 months. He told them he'd call them back. About twenty minutes later, another company called to schedule an interview for December 3rd. Our hearts are extra-full of gratitude right now. Pat accepted the contract position. We're still hoping things work out with our first choice company come January, but this interview may lead to something good, too, so we're keeping an open mind. As I was expressing my thanks while pondering/praying, I clearly remembered "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." No, He hasn't let us want during this time. And He never will.

Hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving.

Busy Doing Nothing...

Lately I've really felt like we've been busy doing nothing. It's nice every now and again to take time to do nothing, but this 3 month hiatus from life has gotten a little lengthy. I have had some interesting thoughts lately, though, on the matter of being busy doing nothing. I think that busy-ness is definitely a problem we deal with today, and I think many of us are quick to carve out some down time, time to relax, time to unwind and recreate. The problem I've discovered is that I'm so busy enjoying down time, I forget to fill my life with some of the good things- the things that I feel like I don't have time for, but somehow I'm finding time to relax, and maybe I should be doing these good things instead.
The thought came to me when my awesome visiting teaching companion was sharing the message this past week. She chose Elder Snow's talk on service. He talked about his mother reflecting at the end of her life and wishing that she had served more, and despite his reminder to her of all the things she'd done, she expressed that she could have done more. I have had a lot of time on my hands as of late, and no excuse for not serving more. Service is one of the good things that gets pushed to the bottom of the stack far too often for me. When I think about the schedule President Hinckley must keep, although I'm sure that he takes time to be quiet, pray, study and meditate, I like to imagine that he does those things in the quiet of morning, and then gets to work. I don't imagine him idling away his time. I think his schedule which is full of good things is part of what keeps him going. Yes, I know that we shouldn't run faster than we have strength, but I also think that if we're running on the Lord's errand, our capacity will be enlarged. I love this quote that Elder Snow shared by President Kimball: “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another mortal that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom.”
I want to be that answer to prayers, meeting the needs of those around me. I want to serve others because I love my Heavenly Father, and this is an important way for me to show Him just how much I love Him. I want to teach my children that service is not just another good thing, but one of the essentials. I need to feel the joy that comes from truly blessing the lives of others, the joy that comes as Heavenly Father's way of saying thank you for helping.

My Little Headbanger

Sam is so cooperative when his big sister tries to decorate him.

Sam has officially entered the stage of perpetual bonks and bruises. This poor kid looks like he's been through the mill with the amount of bruises covering his forehead. I remember going through this stage with Addie, but it seems a little magnified with this time. Where she would have been more hesitant after an injury, he gets back on the saddle to do it again, even if he's met with the same bruised results. He has so many funny quirks that are starting to manifest themselves more and more. He is so giggly all the time, and when he giggles too hard he gets the hiccups. When he wakes up every morning he gives me a big open mouth kiss on the cheek when I get him out of his crib. He's obsessed with buttons- on the remote, the vcr or dvd player, the phone, he doesn't discriminate. He's getting extremely interested in table food, but is attempting to dislike green beans, so I'm hoping to overcome that hurdle soon. He is perpetually happy- I don't know that I've ever met a happier person, and hope that he never loses this personality trait. Don't worry, Addie will get her own post sometime soon, but I needed to post about my littlest ray of sunshine right now, who really turns into a pretty big ray of sunshine!

And Down Again...

Pat's contract fell through. The guy who hired him was hiring him for someone else's team, and it sounds like a huge battle of office politics ensued. They put the position on hold. I know that something has got to change soon. Right now it just feels pretty crummy.

Looking Up...

Yesterday was 3 months to the day of Pat losing his job. Last night at 5, Pat got a call from an old co-worker with a job offer. It's a contract to hire job (although they wanted a direct hire, but we hoped for this), which is what we wanted for several reasons- he can make more contracting, we can leave at any time if things aren't working out or if the desired company ever gets things in gear, and it's a safety net if we need it to be. It's close- probably 10 to 15 minutes away depending on traffic. The project they really need him for has a January 1st deadline, so even if things end up stopping then, the other company is looking at a possible 1st Quarter hire, which would hopefully be a January time frame. The only downside is that it's not necessarily the "career move" we were hoping for. It's not totally in the area of his field where he wants to end up, but he's very skilled in this area and will do just fine with it. There is still plenty of time for career moves, and I think we're more comfortable with it being contracted at first so we feel the flexibility to look around. Pat is one of the most loyal employees I've ever met, so he really gives things his best shot before looking for a new job, but with a contract, I don't think he has as much of that pressure of loyalty that he places on himself. It really is a great situation.

I feel such deep gratitude for this blessing. It was nice that we were already going to the temple last night, and could express our thanks quietly while in the sealing room. I have learned so much and grown so much in the last 3 months. I have no doubt that Heavenly Father knows us each so personally. Trials push us to our limits, but we aren't given anything more than we can bear. There is a bigger plan for each of us, and we have to trust in that plan. There are no coincidences or mistakes in His plan for us.

Even though things may still change in a few months, I really feel like this is what is supposed to be happening right now. I have been truly blessed and felt the love of my Father in Heaven more deeply than I have for a while. I hope that I can show my love for Him through my actions every day. Words can't adequately express my current feelings, but humility, love, and gratitude are probably my top 3. Thank you for your prayers and your support during this time for us. It's meant more than you will ever know.

So what do you say, friends. Time for a party? I think so.

The Last Nice Weekend?

I must say I've been enjoying the unseasonably warm Fall we've had this year. Mid-60's today? I'll take it! But there's supposed to be a storm rolling in on Sunday, which makes me think this may be the end of the lovely high pressure system that has made this season so delightful. So, my plans for today and tomorrow are to enjoy as much of the great outdoors as we can. I think a picnic in the park today is in order. I need to take a walk to deliver some visiting teaching assignments I still need to pass out. I should pull some more weeds in my flower beds that are still just areas of dirt good for growing weeds. I feel like I've accomplished a lot this week, although not a lot of it has been from my list of goals, so I need to step it up if I'm really going to do those things this week.

One other thing has occupied a good chunk of time this week. In the past, I've listened to every Harry Potter book on tape. I couldn't get into reading them, and Jim Dale is amazing as the reader doing incredible voices for every character. Pat and I would just listen together in the car when we were going various places, especially car trips to Boise. With the kids, it's not as easy to listen now in the car. It's been a while since the book came out, and I still haven't been able to find time to listen. So, I broke down and I've started reading it. I must say I'm not enjoying it quite as much as I think I would were I listening, but I'm glad to be finishing the series in a more timely fashion.

My other weekend highlights will include a sealing assignment tonight and lunch with old roommates tomorrow. Hope you all have a good one!

The Difference A Day Makes

Today is a better day. Better than yesterday by far. Your kind words and my own reality check to myself helped me turn that frown upside down. I was productive today, which always brightens my mood. I did some laundry. I did serious vacuuming throughout the house. I started cleaning my bedroom and will hopefully finish tomorrow. I bathed the kids together- a new thing at our house that I'm sure they'll continue to love for the next few years until modesty becomes a little more of an issue and baths are no longer seen as a fun chance to play. Pat (and I did some too) winter fertilized the lawn. Tomorrow I want to finish some weeding and tidying so we can more officially put the lawn to bed for the winter. Unlike some of our neighbors, we stopped watering a few weeks ago. I kind of like the winterizing of the outdoors. It makes me want to tidy things up inside too and batten down the hatches. It was a beautiful day today- so warm a jacket was almost laughable, and a good chance to get outside work done. If it holds up, then I'm hoping to go for a jog tomorrow. Yes, I actually feel that motivated! You must know something has changed around here. :)

Really, my outlook is the biggest change. While I was cleaning my bedroom today, I came across some things that helped my perspective shift. A while ago, Pat and I gave talks on having a positive attitude. I found one of the talks that I'd printed out to use as a resource, and it was more than a coincidence that I ran across it today. It was a BYU devotional address by Rex and Janet Lee. I'd highly recommend downloading the free PDF and reading it if you need a reminder about positive attitudes. One of the great quotes from this talk is actually a quote form Elder Maxwell who called Christ our "attitudinal exemplar". Sister Lee quote Elder Maxwell again from his book Even As I Am:

Though our trials are tiny compared to [the Savior's], . . . Jesus was of good cheer because then current conditions did not alter His sources of ultimate joy. Are not our fundamental sources of joy the same as His? . . . It remains for us, therefore, to be of good cheer even when . . . current circumstances seem hopeless. . . . The unfolding of God's purposes may require the collapse of other things. How often is it necessary for dismantling to occur in order for something better to be put in place?
I love this quote! I miss Elder Maxwell. He was such a poet- it seemed like every sentence in each talk was packed with meaning I could study for days and still not scratch the surface.

So, I'm back in the saddle, smile on my face, positive attitude in my soul, gratitude in my heart. I'm hoping to run tomorrow. And cross some things off the to do list. And enjoy the beautiful fall weather with my family. And have a grand time doing it!

(Photo via Flickr)

I Know It's Tuesday, so What's Left of the Week Goals....

Preparedness: Inventory the pantry/food storage shelves.
Family History/Temple Work: Work on my PAF for one hour this week.
Family (Parenting and/or Marriage): Get back on the family scripture study wagon. Being out of town and having company has thrown us off.
Personal Spiritual: Work more on serving others- I need to forget myself and go to work!
Self-Improvement(Exercising, learning new domestic skills, etc.): Work on refinishing a dresser. It's been sitting in my basement for way too long, and I need to get this project done.

Monday Monday

So I've already started this post and didn't like the direction it headed, so here's Monday Monday version 2. Hope it turns out a little better.

Today my brothers left after a weekend of just chillin'. Their plans to hang with friends didn't come into fruition too much, so they enjoyed a lot of down time with their adorable niece and nephew, and we had a good time together eating, movie watching, helping bring the RM up to speed on pop culture, and relaxing. I think Ben was antsy to return to Idaho to find a job and get his life started again, but I was glad they came to hang out for a few days. Addie always enjoys when the uncles are around!

I've admittedly been a little moody lately. I think the late late nights I had while the brothers were here didn't help things, combined with my early rising children due to day light savings. I feel like I just want to sleep. And have an afternoon to myself to cry, or ponder, or read, or drive, or all of the above. We're about to hit the 3 month mark. A friend told me recently that you can expect to be unemployed 1 month for every $10,000 you make. I hope that's not true, because we may have a while if it is. I need to get my Nephi-build-a-boat kind of courage back, but I think it must've taken a mini-vacay to get away from it all. Hopefully it returns soon!

Faith is hard sometimes. I've been thinking lately about how faith is an action word, and how I can make my faith more active. I've been kind of passive, just believing that things will work out, but I feel like there's more I should be doing to demonstrate that belief. I'm not totally sure what it is I should be doing, so feel free to give suggestions. Yes, faith is hard. We had a great lesson in Relief Society yesterday on personal revelation. It was definitely something I needed to hear. I was also really inspired by Mel's post today. Check it out, if you haven't already. This girl has got a rock-solid testimony- just one more thing to love about her!

I really feel like right now we're being given this gift of time together. I'm trying to figure out how to make the most of it so we can look back on it fondly and gratefully for all of the things we were able to enjoy together. I feel like we've been doing that some, but we're starting to fade a little. We've got to refocus and get some direction.

So, that's where we are. I'm worn out from battling a highly emotional toddler and a baby with a cold all day. I'm worn out from having company for the past 4 days. I'm worn out from the last 3 months of uncertainty. But I'm ok. I'm having faith. I'm trusting. I just need to be putting more action and purpose into those things to achieve more joy and peace. I think I'll go start on some of that pondering.

Trick-or-Trot-or-Treating and Kid News....

I suppose we all indulge each other in shameless posts about our kids or nieces or nephews or grandkids, so prepare to indulge me. And if you don't want to read about how awesome, funny, and cute my kids are, come back when I post again :)

While in Boise, Sam cut his first tooth to welcome home Uncle Ben. Finally! Today he decided to make it a matched set and cut #2. Hopefully we won't see anymore for a little while. He's crawling constantly and making serious tracks. I was making dinner today when I found him no longer in the family room, but way down the hall headed towards the bedrooms. The chase is officially on, but really only in the warming up stages. I've finally jumped on the homemade baby food wagon, and I'm feeling like such an ambitious mom as I puree peas, mash sweet potatoes, and feed my boy some fresher fare. He never made it into his costume yesterday. He has a cold which I 'm hoping to prevent from turning into another ear infection, and he was in bed before we even had our first trick-or-treaters last night.

And now it's my pleasure to introduce the cutest ballerina, "Ballerina Timmy." Addie's parade of imaginary friends is continuing to grow, but she dubbed herself "Ballerina Timmy" when she got dressed up last night. She's yet to discover that Timmy is a boy name. And no, she doesn't have to potty in this picture, she's trying to do a ballerina move, but her knees are together instead of her heels. All day yesterday we practiced what she should say last night when she went "trick-or-trot-or-treating" as she called it. We role-played:
Me: (answering door) Hi, pretty ballerina!
Addie: Trick-or-treat. I want candy.

I tried to reiterate over and over that she can't say the "I want candy" bit. Yes, it may be true, but it sounds so greedy. I shouldn't have worried so much, because she froze up on each of the doors we visited in our cul-de-sac. And may I add, for the first year I allowed her to go trick-or-treating, I'm glad we live in a cul-de-sac so she didn't come home with piles of candy. I can only handle the sugar buzz for a couple of days. Luckily, it's almost gone already!

Other recent Addie funnies include some more serious potty training success. After a good episode with #2 a few days ago, she finished and said "mom, my body is saying thank you." And lately while using the potty, she doesn't want me to come help because her imaginary friend Mr. Rabbit is helping her. I didn't know these imaginary friends could come in so handy! Now if only they could make dinner and clean the house, I could really take it easy ;)

I still have more to share, but my brother's are about to crash my house any minute for the weekend. Hopefully I'll find some blogging time. Adios, mi amigos.

Car Rides, The RM, Playing in Boise, and Potty Talk

Sorry I never got around to posting last night, so I'll try to bring you up to speed a little, and then I need to clean my house like a mad woman because tonight I have ward book club at my house (nothing to instill a cleaning frenzy like a little company).

We left Thursday morning around 11:00 and made it to Boise around 4:30- 5 1/2 hours with 2 kids and one stop in between was pretty dang good time, so I was happy about that. The kids slept a little which was a definite bonus, and we arrived at Amy's house just in time for dinner. She made pulled pork sandwiches, always a hit, and we enjoyed eating together, getting the kids to bed, and of course watching The Office.

Friday we went to lunch with Amy's family- we usually stay with him, so we wanted to make sure we still saw them this trip. We indulged at the Cheesecake Factory. They have the most rich and delicious macaroni and cheese I have ever tasted in my life. Seriously sinful, and so good. Of course, we also enjoyed some cheesecake. We tried the vanilla bean kind-so good! That afternoon the kids took naps and Amy and I went to Old Navy. I actually bought myself a shirt and I've tried to get over the guilt ever since- sometimes I have a very hard time buying for myself, even if it's a need (which a shirt may not sound like a need, but due to my sparse closet right now, it kind of is...kind of). At 4:24 in the afternoon, the eagle landed, and we were at the Boise Airport for the joyous occasion. It was so good to see Ben again. He's quite a character, but I'll talk about that more another time. We went to gather his luggage, and he couldn't find one of his bags. When he got to the place to file the complaint, he found his bag wrapped in a plastic bag because it fell apart on the journey home. I guess it's a good thing his mission is done! We went back to Amy's and put Sam to bed, and then she stayed with him because we were meeting for dinner with everyone that night pretty late. Addie held up surprisingly well since we didn't eat until about 8:30. Dinner was good, but always a little awkward when both of my parents are in the same place.

Saturday we went to lunch with my mom and her husband and my brothers. It was nice to not have the stress of my dad there at the same time. Addie had her first major accident of the trip after lunch, so we had to wash the carseat cover at Amy's house while the kids napped. That night was the open house at my dad's new house. It was kind of awkward to say the least. Pat and I spent a lot of time staying close to our kids so they didn't wander and get into mischief or into the wrong hands. I felt bad that more people didn't come, but I think my dad didn't do a very good job letting people know about it. We stayed for a bit and then went back to Amy's to get the kids to bed. Amy and I went out to one of my favorite Boise places- Goody's- so I could get a chocolate milkshake. It's kind of an old-fashioned ice cream parlor/candy shop, and it's really in a fun part of Boise.

Sunday morning Addie had a big fit because she informed me she wanted to live at Amy's house and was not happy about the prospect of going home. Addie had tons of fun with Amy- they made sugar cookies our first night there, colored, watched fun movies, and Amy took Addie on a run one morning. They had a great time together! We packed up our stuff, went to Ben's homecoming, and then hit the road. Ben spoke with an elder who had also just returned- they actually spoke together when they left, also. Ben's talk was really good and it was great to see his growth. He can be a cocky kid, so it was nice to see a little humility during his talk.

Well, that's our trip in a nutshell. I have more details to share, but they probably deserve their own posts which will come later. For now, it's cleaning and grocery shopping for me. I'm out!

I'm Back!

I'm currently trying to dig out from mounds of laundry, but when I regain control of this pit I call home, I'll give a more proper update. Just wanted you to know we made it back after some long haulin' in the car, staying with Amy- the perfect hostess, surviving family drama, and welcoming home my fun but punky brother Ben. Currently my only goal is to catch up on everything, so I'll think about some better ones and post them to give myself a chance of getting something accomplished this week. Hope all is well with all of you- I'm trying to catch up on everyone's blogs, etc. 4 days doesn't seem that long, but it's long enough to definitely be behind on blogs, email, etc. Ok, off to change laundry loads, hopefully later I'll have energy for a real post!

We're Outtie...

We're headed to the good ol' Boise, ID today, so wish us luck with the 5 to 6 hour drive with the kiddos. I'll be excited to share many a story when we return. Hope you have a great weekend!

P.S.

Thank you to all of you sweet blogging friends who make me feel so darn good. I'm so blessed to have your support! Your comments mean so much to me. I think when Pat gets a job, I should throw a big party. I honestly couldn't make it through this without you. All of you locals can come, and for the far away friends, I'll take pictures of all the things you could enjoy with us if you were here. I seriously count you as some of my greatest blessings- thank you for the love you've shown me. I am truly grateful.

Breaking Even...

Today it seemed like I was trying to prove the theories about things in the universe being brought into balance. For every good thing that happened, there was a bad one right behind it. Let me share a couple of examples.

Good Thing: Addie finally went #2 in the potty! A few tears were shed, but she hasn't done this since her first time using the potty a couple months ago! Hooray!
Bad Thing: I went to get Addie a treat for using the potty. I threw some trash in the garbage can in my pantry, and somehow slammed the pantry door on my nose. I've always been self-conscious about the size, and today's maneuver which has produced quite the swelling hasn't done anything for my self-esteem.

Good Thing: We went to IKEA to pick up some jars to take to my friend Amy who visited a few weeks ago, and who we're staying with when we go to Idaho. We sat down to enjoy a delicious lunch of meatballs and lingonberry juice.
Bad Thing: Addie spills her lingonberry juice all over the table, my pant leg, my shoe, my foot. And yet one more way IKEA keeps the cost down is to provide totally worthless napkins, requiring no less than 50 to clean up the afore-mentioned spill.

Good Thing: Sam learned to crawl yesterday! He finally figured out crawling in the more "traditional" way, that is, on hands and knees.
Bad Thing: Sam screams the whole time he is crawling. He hates it. It's like he's being punished the whole time he's doing it. What a bad mom I must be, expecting my child to move in such a way :)

I suppose I broke even today. There were some good things, balanced by some bad ones. But in a way, all I can see is the sticky jeans/shoes. I can't see past the end of my swollen nose, so to speak, to acknowledge the blessings. I should work on that tonight. Right now, the glass is feeling half empty (but I guess that's an improvement on all the way empty as Addie successfully showed earlier today). No, I'm really ok, friends, just feeling a little cheeky.

Good News Minute and Weekly Goals

So, for the first time in weeks (is it 10 or 11 now?), I had something worthwhile to share in the good news minute. In a few short days, namely 5, on Friday, my youngest brother Ben comes home from his mission. He's been serving in the Iowa Des Moines mission for the past 2 years. We supported him for over a year of his mission and would've continued had my dad not decided he wanted to step up to the plate. (Expect a few ranting posts regarding my sanity during this trip at having to deal with my parents and their spouses all being in the same location as myself.) At any rate, I am so excited to see him. He's coming to Utah next weekend, and I kind of wish we weren't traveling to Idaho this weekend to see him, but as the good sister, we're planning on it. More trip details will be forthcoming. I haven't left the state since June, I have to milk this event for a few posts :)

Switching gears, let's talk about weekly goals. I did pretty well with the prayers, not 100%, but almost. We made it to the temple (after a failed attempt and a long wait) and had a great visit together in the celestial room. I worked on thinking before reacting. Exercising outside sure didn't happen, so I'll rework this goal. I'll post this weeks and you can judge the rest.

Preparedness: Finish gathering all the family documents. This is still on my list. I don't think I need to say more.
Family History/Temple Work: Work on my PAF for one hour this week- going to be tough since we won't be in town for half the week, but I can do it.
Family (Parenting and/or Marriage): Help Addie jump the potty training hurdle we seem to be stuck behind. This will take her cooperation, and may or may not be accomplished, but I'm going to pay a lot more attention this week!
Personal Spiritual: Be 100% consistent with morning prayers (continued, it takes 21 days to be a habit, right?). Also, take more time to listen/ponder after praying.
Self-Improvement(Exercising, learning new domestic skills, etc.): Do indoor stretching/toning exercises at least 3 days this week- with no weather to deal with, I'll have no excuses next week!

Snowy Saturday....

That's what today has been. I always cringe a little when I see the big white flakes at the beginning of the season. I don't love snow or winter. I never have. I'm a person who is frequently cold, and any sort of weather that can make me colder is not a welcome sight. So, on to other matters.

Last night was our turn to go out, so we went to the temple and then to JCW's for a little cheeseburger love. What a nice visit it was, and so needed! I've been to the temple doing initiatory or sealing work recently, but it's been a while since I've done an endowment session. We tried to go on Thursday, but while we were in the chapel Pat wasn't feeling well, so we left and went back last night. He was feeling better, so that was good. (By the way, did you know the temple has pink and blue white out to use on the cards in case you have started a session but it isn't completed? Just an interesting thing I learned on Thursday.) We spent a long time in the chapel waiting because it was a busy night, and then we spent a long time in the celestial room doing some serious pondering/praying. We both felt like we need to continue to wait for this job. I was kind of hoping we'd get an answer to move on just so we could start trying to plan something, but since we didn't, our patience is continuing to grow. Today I felt such an inner quiet, though, like I was suddenly at peace with things instead of being filled with all of the turmoil about what we're supposed to be doing. I have grown so much, and I really am grateful for this experience. I will openly admit that I hope it comes to an end soon, but I know that the Lord knows the perfect time table for us, and I will continue to trust in that. One of the blessings that I reflected on last night is how great this has been to refocus our family. I told Pat it's almost like we needed him to not work so we could recognize more of what we should be doing and establish those patterns in hopes that we can keep them when he returns to work. Instead of trying to squeeze things in around work, they will come first and we'll find a work situation that works with the things that are important- you know, kind of like the object lesson with the big rocks and the pebbles. I'm really hoping to start establishing time to work with Addie on teaching her some things she needs to know- kind of in a very casual pre-school setting. I think with Pat at home it will be easier for me to start those patterns that we can then continue when he returns to work. We've made great strides in our daily prayers and scripture study, something we were somewhat hit and miss with before has become a lot more habitual. I've really recognized what a better mom/wife/person I am when I do those simple things- if I miss a day I feel it, and so do those around me, all day long. I've been able to recognize some of those blessings of obedience. So, we're busy enduring right now, and all is well.

I'm a Crier....

Or at least I was last night when I finally finished The Book Thief. This book had been recommended by multiple friends, and I started it weeks ago, but I have to say I had a hard time getting into it. It required a lot of concentration in the beginning until the plot started to weave together more, and I kept thinking I needed to stick with it because I was sure it wouldn't have received such rave reviews for nothing. I am so glad that I finished it! Around half way through, it really picked up for me, and last night I stayed up late reading the last 150 pages. And bawling. Completely. For those of you who have not yet read it, I highly recommend it, and also would say stick with it because all of the strands of plot are woven together in a beautiful way.

I think aside from books, I'm a crier in general. I often try to be tough, more when I was a teenager, but even sometimes now, and I'll walk around with a big burning lump in my throat because I'm trying not to let the emotions flow. But especially since I've become a mother, I've realized more and more that it's ok to show those emotions, and things that I never would've thought to cry about suddenly hit me with such force. I think parenthood brings such a heightened sensitivity to the world around us. I've teared up at the beauty of the earth. I've teared up cuddling with my kids and feeling like my heart will pop out of my chest with the depth of love I feel for them. I've always been one to kind of wear my emotions on my sleeve, even when I've tried to stifle tears, but I think as a Mom, I'm allowing myself more to show emotion without regret. I think I want my kids to feel like they can share what they're feeling, to be authentic, to work through things together and be there for each other, and I guess in some ways I feel like if I don't do the same, then I'm not setting a great example.

Although one day, this didn't turn out as I'd hoped. I was reading a book to Addie when I was pretty pregnant with Sam. It's called Tell Me My Story, Mama by Deb Lund. It's about a mom telling her daughter about when she was pregnant with her and how she got here, and then at the end it talks about how the new baby will have it's own story too. During the course of the story, they get to the best part.

"The best part was when I saw you for the first time. When you heard my voice, you stopped crying. You took two of my fingers in your fist, and you looked me in the eyes. And when Daddy talked, you looked up at him, too. We all looked at each other, and then we knew what we had all been waiting for."

I was sobbing trying to read this to Addie for the first time, and then she started sobbing and asked me to put the book away. I guess my authenticity of emotion backfired that day- it was a little scary to hear mom's squeaky crying voice when you're not even 2 yet. Maybe I should try to read it to her again soon. Maybe I'll make it through without crying. Or maybe with just a tear instead of the squeaky voice scary cry. But if not, that's ok too.

A Few Introductions...

Addie has made a few new friends recently, and they definitely call for a blog post. I've been waiting for this day since she was born. I'd been hoping it would happen, and on Friday, it did. She has imaginary friends, now. Lemonade, or Enernade as she says, came to play on Friday. She looks like Addie except she's really tall and has piggy tails with bows and pink hair. We went shopping for a new tree for our front yard, and when we left the nursery, Addie shouts "oh no, Enernade is still at the tree place!" There was no way I was going back for an imaginary friend, so luckily I convinced her that Lemonade had snuck in before Addie. Suddenly I heard "oh there you are, Enernade. You're so silly." Addie cracks me up. Today we had another friend named Cleaner. Who knows where she came up with that one, maybe she's hoping our house will be cleaner if her friend Cleaner is around? Cleaner is a boy who likes to eat spaghetti. She spent a lot of time today helping Cleaner sleep, tucking him in, spreading blankets out for him. His little imaginary self must've been pretty cozy in the awesome bed she made.

I too had an active imagination as a child (I know, big surprise, eh?). Instead of "friends" per se, I had a pink mom and a white mom. My mom (the real one) started to keep track of what my pink mom and whit emom were like in hopes that she could crack the code. My pink mom read me stories, baked cookies, and did nice mom things. My white mom gave me time-outs and said no and did not-nice mom things. If this isn't a sign that I need serious counseling, I don't know what is. Luckily, I've ditched the pink mom white mom thing. But I am hoping Lemonade,
Cleaner, and whoever else may be floating around in Addie's mind stick around for a while. I love this peek into her mind through her imaginaries. It's great entertainment, and a whole new way to get to know her. So, did you have an imaginary friend phase? Do your kids? Tell me all about it...

Weekly Goals

I said I was thinking about doing this, so here they are for week 1. I'm being brutally honest here, folks, but I hope you don't think I'm a total heathen. Maybe I'll start keeping my goals private if they get too revealing!

Preparedness: Finish gathering all the family documents. I got Sam's birth certificate last week, but that was as far as I got- oops!
Family History/Temple Work: Attend the temple with Pat this week, and take time to enjoy the celestial room instead of rushing home to our kids.
Family (Parenting and/or Marriage): Take more time to think before I react.
Personal Spiritual: Be 100% consistent with morning prayers- these ones are hard for me some days.
Self-Improvement(Exercising, learning new domestic skills, etc.): Go walking/jogging at least 3 days this week.

Recharged

Sunday was so good today. It was fast Sunday, and it was just what the doctor ordered. I was admittedly in a bad way last week. I think the Adversary saw all of my weak spots and was working over time on each of them. I was functioning, but just going through the motions. I felt so helpless/hopeless/frustrated/defeated, and just an over all malaise about life. I felt so stagnant, like I knew what should be happening, but didn't have the energy to make it happen. But, enough about that. On to today!

Testimony meeting was nice. While I was nursing Sam and listening to the testimonies, he fell asleep and I actually got to hold him sleeping for the rest of the meeting and part of Sunday School. This is my baby that only sleeps in his bed or his carrier, so I was in heaven to get a sleepy snuggle from my boy. Pat got called yesterday to sub in gospel principles. He's a ward missionary, so we attend that Sunday school class weekly, and he subs regularly. The lesson for today was on family. He realized that when the lesson was written, the Proclamation had not yet been issued. He found the talk where it was given, and read it to me yesterday while I was making rolls. Both of the kids were asleep. We were both in the kitchen with tears streaming down our faces as we felt the impact of that sacred document and the strength and inspiration it contains. If you've never read the whole talk President Hinckley gave when he issued the Proclamation, I highly recommend it! So, he decided to compare the original lesson to the fullness contained in the Proclamation. I think it went pretty well. Then, we had lesson 19 in Relief Society, also about families. I was reminded of so many things that I need to be working on, so many things that I've been blessed with. It was a great day of reassessing for me, reminding me of who I am, what my purpose is, and what is truly most important. The closing song in Relief Society was "I Am A Child of God." I was a wreck through the whole thing. I kept thinking about how much I sing that song with my kids and what an important lesson I hope they're learning from it. I kept thinking about my own relationship with my Father in Heaven, how personally He knows me, and how He uses trials to succor me and draw me closer to Him and to my Savior. I kept reflecting on the goodly parents that I felt like I kind of missed out on, and how much I want to be a parent kind and dear to my children. I'm so grateful to refocus on Sunday. I wish that I didn't need to refocus all the time, that I could just stay focused and keep my priorities in line, but I think Heavenly Father knew how hard it would be to do that all the time with the outside pressures, and that's part of the reason he gave us Sunday and a way to worship and a chance to rest. I have a renewed energy to bring about good things for myself and my family through the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know the sweetest joys I have experienced and will experience are a result of choices my family and I make to live the gospel, to follow the Savior, to trust the Father, to try. This week, I am determined to try.

Overwhelmed...

I'm feeling overwhelmed in many aspects, but first of all, by the amazing amount of love and support I've felt from you through your prayers. I feel so blessed to have started blogging and gained such great friends in the process. You are really a bright spot right now, so thank you.

Pat and I are yet to sit down and have a good discussion about what we should be doing. I feel kind of numb, but overwhelmed by emotions at the same time. I don't know why I'm feeling so blah. Well, I guess really I do. But enough venting for now.

This weekend will hopefully be a good chance to relax. We don't have a lot on the agenda, we're not trading tonight with Matt and Chrissy, so everything is on our timetable. Maybe we'll go buy a new tree for the front yard and finally get around to planting it. Maybe I'll get some closets organized and some things dropped off to DI. Today we have an appointment to get the oil changed. There's definitely enough to keep us busy. I'm hoping we'll call Pat's parents and leave the kids with them for a while so we can have some time together. It just occurred to me that 6 years ago this weekend is when Pat and I had our first date. Maybe we should do something in honor of that. I'll have to think about it today. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

Hitting our Knees...

That's the current plan. Yesterday, Pat heard from the HR lady that with budget projections and head counts now that the purchase is complete, things aren't looking good for a hire date in 2007. I feel like I've been sucker punched. We've really thought we've been trusting in confirmations we've received. We're kind of starting over in determining what the Father's will really is for us right now and if Pat should find more contracting work and we'll keep waiting, or look for another job, or what the best plan is. Ugh.

It's Official...

I now have proof that Sam is our boy. After almost 9 months, I finally went and got his birth certificate. I hate that you have to go to the health department or mail your application with copies of all sorts of proofs of ID, and then you have to pay for it. I think it should be first one free, and if you need more copies, then you can pay. I've been thinking about preparedness lately, and this is one thing that I've known I've needed to do, so I'm glad to get it checked off the list. I need to organize all of our important documents like this so we can prove who we are and that our kids belong to us were we ever to get separated from them in an emergency. I've really over the past several months felt more drive to be putting things in order to become more prepared, but sometimes it can really snowball out of control for me when I think about the list of possible tragedies that could occur. I have to try to focus on the task and not the unknown. I'm not usually a big worrier, but it doesn't take too far of a leap for me to become one. So on my agenda this week is to continue to find and organize important family documents such as birth certificates, social security cards, our title to our home, insurance information, bank and investment information, you get the idea. I've been thinking about Elder Oaks' talk and all of the good things that we really have to choose from as members of the church. I want to make a list of some of those things and then try to prioritize what I should be working on. So, this is my preparedness goal for the week. I thought maybe I should try to set one a week, and maybe a family history/temple work goal each week, a family goal each week (encompassing parenting and/or marriage), a personal spiritual goal, and a self-improvement goal (like exercise, learning new domestic skills, etc.). I should start posting them at the start of the week to remind myself. Maybe next week I'll take inventory of food storage. I really don't have a very good idea of what I have and in what quantities. I know I have a full pantry and some shelves in my cold storage room with various goods, but knowing what's on them may be a good step. Hope your week is going strong- half way done!

Pre-School: The Musical

This could be the title of my days were they made into a movie. Addie has taken to singing everything she does/is doing/thinks/feels/wants/you get the picture. She's hilarious. Daily I'm audience to songs like "I'm your sister (sung to Sam), I'm your friend (sung to me)" repeated 50 times, "I'll show you how to dance like a ballerina so pretty, spinning, tippy toes with my dancing skirt and my tippy toe shoes," a total stream of consciousness number, and "I want to go to school and be friends, friends are special, I love my friends," a real crowd pleaser. It's fun to really see what she's thinking as it comes out in song. She's always been a singer- she truly was one of those kids who was singing before she was talking. From around 16 months, she could sing a tune so I could recognize it and then sing her the song, even though she didn't have the words to tell me what song she wanted. My MIL was in the MoTab and just retired a couple of years ago. Addie refers to them as "Nonna's friends" when we see them on tv. While watching conference, she informed me that one day she wants to sing with Nonna's friends, and Pat and Sam and I can come watch her. Sounds like a plan, Addie. Little does she know, I've had secret MoTab dreams of my own. I was very involved in choir while in school. In high school I was in a competitive vocal jazz choir. We traveled all over the pacific northwest to compete, and we won almost every competition. It was a lot of fun, and something I miss sometimes. You just don't get that singing experience when you're a mom. I try to gather the kids around the piano and sing primary songs regularly, but it really isn't the same. Maybe someday my MoTab dreams will come true, although when I think about the amount of time my MIL gave, I don't know when my life would be conducive to that kind of sacrifice, and I'm really not sure I have enough of the crazy theory that I'd need. More likely, Addie's dreams will come true. For now, I'm having fun listening to my own little singer/song writer craft her latest smash hits by the hour.

Conference Day 2

I thought I'd share a few thoughts about the Sunday sessions. The kids were fairly rambunctious during the morning session, so half way through we got in the car to go for a drive and listen. I figured that way Sam would fall asleep, Addie would be distracted, and maybe I could actually hear what was being said :)

Sunday AM: This session left me with a lot of thoughts on what to do to be a better mom. I loved President Eyring's talk and the part when he shared "I am not giving you these experiences for yourself." I really hope to start writing down daily occurrences that allow me to see the hand of God at work in my life. I'm yet to decide if I'm going to blog it or journal it. I'm excited for the increased measure of gratitude and sensitivity to the Spirit that I hope will come through taking this challenge. Sister Beck's talk was great. I did feel a little overwhelmed when she talked about how we should do less- I often think about my desires in this area, but also the feelings I have that I'm not totally there yet. I'm excited to reread this one.

Sunday PM: I've always loved Elder Oaks, and his words were great once again. He was the first apostle I met when I was 12. He was at a multi-regional conference in Pennsylvania. He did a morning session just for youth before the larger conference. After the conference, I went up to shake his hand and told him how much I enjoyed his talk earlier that morning. He said "that means a lot to me, especially coming from a beautiful young lady like you." His words came at a time in my life when I certainly didn't feel beautiful, and I was having the worst school year in my brief history of time. Needless to say, he's been one of my favorites ever since. But back to his talk. I often find myself in the Mary/Martha struggle. I know that I'm very guilty of not choosing what's best, only what's good or better a lot of the time. There are so many best things we can engage in, and I'm hoping to devote more time to those things.

Conference is such a blessing because it always invokes a spirit of change in me. I'm always reminded of things I can improve upon. I'm always content with the sweet truths of the gospel taught once again. I'm always blessed when I listen, but more blessed when I change and really implement what's been taught. President Harold B. Lee said: “As the Latter-day Saints go home from this conference, it would be well if they consider seriously the importance of taking with them the report of this conference and let it be the guide to their walk and talk during the next six months." Ever since I heard that quote while in college, I've thought a lot more about making the principles of conference my walk and my talk. I'll be working on that again after this conference. I hope you will too!

General Conkerance, Part One....

No, not a typo, Addie kept telling me all day we were watching Conkerance. And half the time, she referred to it as Stake Conkerance, because we had that a few weeks ago, and it's hard for a little mind to differentiate. It's all Conkerance to her! At any rate, I thought I'd share my personal highlights today.

Saturday AM: Can it get any more exciting to have a new apostle and a new member of the first presidency? I am so excited about President Eyring! He's always been one of my favorites- his messages just always seem to strike a chord with me, I love how he shows emotion so readily when speaking, and he's so well-spoken. I think he's going to do an amazing job.

President Packer's talk about the worth of souls was a great one. I think it's important for the church membership to be reminded that it takes all of us serving in the church to make it work, and no one's contributions are worth more than another's. I think this reminder was especially good because especially at conference time, I think it's easy to be in awe of the general authorities and feel so inadequate. This talk was perfect to help combat those feelings of inadequacy. Loved it.

Elder Condie's talk was fantastic! There were a few of my blogging friends I couldn't stop thinking about during this talk. I think we all have our "Rachel" moments when we're going through trials, whether they be the same trials Rachel experienced or not, and I loved how he pointed out "And God remembered Rachel." Even when it seems like our prayers aren't being answered, they are. Such a great reminder!

Those were my two morning faves.

Saturday PM: I thought it was so interesting/awesome that Elders Holland, Ballard, and Nelson all talked about clarifying principles of the gospel while sharing them with others. I think many agree it's nice to see the repetition sometimes in conferences so I realize that a message is really important if it's being discussed so many times (not that they all aren't important, you know what I mean). I think it's great that so much has been addressed about this because of the increasing attention towards the church, as Elder Ballard pointed out, over the past 10 years!

So, what was your favorite talk of the day? If you don't have one yet, don't worry, we can play again tomorrow :)

Thank You...

to Michael Scott, for solving my Christmas gift giving dilemma I posted about recently. Last night, in his infinite wisdom, he reminded me of the gift basket. "The perfect mix of class and fanciness," in his words. How could I have forgotten about such a gem? Perfect personal Christmas gift ideas? Check! Next item on the agenda? Re-watching episodes of The Office.

8 Weeks Today...

since Pat lost his job. I haven't updated for a while, so thought I would. Pat only contracted one day this week, and it looks like his time contracting with that company is coming to a close. It has truly been a blessing because it's allowed us to rebuild some of our stores to make it a while longer, and I think it's helped to break up some of the monotony of the day to day. I loved the quote Natalie shared by Elder Maxwell- it really has been my focus throughout this process, so it was nice to read something that truly represented how I've felt more eloquently than I ever could!

The best news is, the sale of the company that we have been waiting for finalized today! Hooray! Supposedly, the hold up has been that they've been in a hiring freeze until the sale went through, which definitely makes sense. So hopefully soon, things there will calm down and they can make the offer! Hooray! Keep your fingers crossed that this will happen soon.

We've also become more aware all the time at what a good choice we've made to turn down the multiple offers from the company he's contracted with. It's almost like Heavenly Father keeps letting us know about things to give us reminders why we said no and confirm that we're doing the right thing. We are truly growing through this process, and I'm learning a lot more about faith, patience, and the love of our Heavenly Father. I feel so grateful and so blessed.

Reasons I'm Happy I'm Not Single

There are many reasons I'm happy to no longer be a part of the dating pool. The greatest reason is that I love my husband, but aside from that, I've had a few hilarious chats with some of my single friends, giving me a renewed contentment with my married status. One of my friends dated a boy all summer. Things seemed to be semi-serious, they'd met each other's families, taken trips, and spent every spare moment together. The problem was, he would be returning to school at Utah State, and she graduated from BYU a few years ago and works in Salt Lake at LDSBC. Things started to get weird due to the upcoming separation, but she thought maybe they'd try to see each other on weekends, or maybe they'd have a clean break up and move on. Instead, he brought her a fish. A salmon. That he caught. And told her maybe he'd see her around. How weird is that? No solid we are together or we aren't, although after the fish, I think she was happy to move on to the other...ahem...fish in the sea. Friend #2 had an even more ridiculous story. She'd been dating this boy who was definitely bad karma, but I always support and listen, voice my opinion when it's asked for, but keep quiet if it's not. So, she called out of the blue (we haven't talked since Sam was born) and we were chatting about how we've been, and I asked if she was still dating the loser-boy, and she said they broke up, so I responded with a cheer. The reason for breaking up is where it gets out of control. The loser-boy, I mean boyfriend, had always been a little controlling, but things got bad when he sent her a list of demands. Some things on the list included writing a 5,000 word essay on graph paper about why she liked him. He also required her to draw a picture of a bird to fit his list of specifications. I honestly didn't know people were out there who were like this. And how that would prove she's good eternal companion material is beyond me. I'm not sure what Pat's bird illustrations look like, nor do I require graph paper when he writes to me (I'm just happy if he's writing anything to me!), but I do know he's a great match for me.

I was the first out of my college friends to get married, and I think they all thought I was a little crazy. Who's laughing now? I am...at *their* crazy dating stories. I hope by now you laughed a little too.

Today I heard...

the sweetest word. Sam said mama. He's been doing dada for a few weeks, but today was my turn. Nothing beats it.

In other news, can I just say I'm enjoying the fall weather? My FIL grows pumpkins every year for the grandkids, so we went and picked up our share over the weekend, but it was so rainy/snowy/gross, that they're still in the garage waiting to be arranged on the porch. Hopefully that will be on tomorrow's agenda.

I've been starting on the Christmas lists. My grandma and aunt, the earliest shoppers in my fam, have already been asking for ideas, so I've been forced to start contemplating the holidays, which is probably a good thing. We have quite a few birthdays between now and then, as well as right after, so I really need to start planning now. My dad's birthday is November 1, my nephew is November 19th, my BIL is December 9th, Addie is December 20th, and my mom is December 29th, just to name a few. So, any great gift ideas floating around out there? What are the must haves for your favorite people this year? Help me brainstorm! I'm pretty good on deciding what to get the kids- it's the adults in my life that make for hard shopping. I also like to start thinking about neighbor/friend gifts now so if it takes a lot of advanced planning, I can begin at a reasonable time and have a prayer of getting things done in time. So, spill your guts on gift ideas!

I can't believe I'm already Christmas posting and we still have Halloween and Thanksgiving to make it through. That's probably one of my most sad things about fall- it's hard to enjoy it because I'm doing so much planning ahead for the upcoming holidays. I have so many expectations for myself surrounding Christmas, and it really starts to get out of hand. And that, my friends, will deserve it's own post someday...

I must be no good...

at this game of tag, because Melisa tagged me again. I thought it was no tag-backs ;) Just kidding, I'll comply. It's kind of fun to think about, but also crazy to know that my plan and Heavenly Father's may (in fact probably) look very different. So here you have it....

In 10 yrs I would like to...
be settled into the house we'd like to grow old in. I would like to have Pat very happy in his career, and have his health holding up. Addie will be almost 13 and nothing but sass, I'm sure, but I would like her to still be talking to me, and willingly babysitting her siblings weekly so Pat and I can go have hot dates :) Sam will be almost 11, and I would like him to be learning to curb the armpit noises and other obnoxious boy habits. Hopefully there will be some other kiddos running around and keeping life interesting. I would like to be involved in my callings and have a good group of mom friends, but most importantly being at the crossroads for my kids. If they're all in school, I'd like to work in the temple one day a week.

In 5 yrs from now.......
I will possibly be done having kids (maybe 2 more)! Pat and I actually just talked about this a few months ago when we had our 5 year anniversary, and we talked about what we hope for in the next 5 years. I hope that our basement is finished. I want to have gotten more serious about our retirement savings so we have a good nest egg working for us. I want our kids to be healthy and happy, and I want to be a good, kind, loving mother who has found a healthy balance. I want to have healed some of my extended family relationships and gotten over some of the baggage that weighs me down.


In 1 yr from now...
I'd like to have our yard more fully landscaped. A fence, some trees and shrubs in the backyard, some flowers, the garden boxes we've been meaning to build, I'd love it all to be complete! I would like to have lost the last few lbs. I'm hanging on to and have built a good, functional wardrobe in a desirable size. I'd like to have a different calling from what I'm in right now- 2 years as the Visiting Teaching coordinator is starting to get old, so I can't imagine going for 3! I'd like to have found a good preschool situation for Addie and be happily helping her make that transition. I'd like to NOT be pregnant! I hope to have worked harder on my family history and completed a lot of the temple work for the names I've already found.


Tomorrow.....
I need to renew my library books. I still have a little bit to go in the highly recommended Book Thief. Hopefully Pat will be contracting, but if he's not, then maybe we can plan some good family fun. We need to go to the bank. I need to do some cleaning around the house, meal plan, and grocery shop. I suppose that will do for one day :)

5 things I would like to do in the future.
Get my masters degree
Work in the temple
Run a 10K (I've done a 5, now it's baby steps to the 10)
Visit every state in the US
Learn to sew

Pat is Great

Forgive the old pic (circa April 2006 with a pouting baby Addie), but as I was perusing old pictures, I discovered how very few pictures we have of Pat or myself, but especially Pat because he seems to be chief picture taker around these parts. However, back to the title of my post. When Patrick and I were dating, I'd come home every night and say to my roommates "Pat is so great. Isn't he great?" and then I'd enumerate the latest and greatest things he'd done and what a quality human being I found him to be. They teased me mercilessly (I was the first of the roommates to get married), and they changed the words from Bill Cosby's infamous "Dad is great, he gives us chocolate cake" ditty to be "Pat is great" and then fill in the blank. Some of their favorite phrases included "Christina he likes to date" or "We should bake him a chocolate cake" or "Some day you'll procreate." Original, eh? I even had his ring engraved to say Pat is great.

But back to Patrick. I've been thinking a lot about our marriage lately. When we were first married, people always asked us how the first year was going, and they constantly told us how hard the first year is and oodles of other things I've added to the list of things not to tell newlyweds. We always heard people talking about marriage being hard work, and I never really understood what they were talking about. To us, loving each other was easy, and there were trials that we went through, but it really didn't feel like work to get through them. After 5 years of marriage, I think I've finally figured out the work aspect of marriage. By figured out, I don't mean figured out how to do it, just figured out that there actually is work involved and that the effortless love we've enjoyed needs a little more nurturing than it used to. I hope this isn't coming out in a bad way, because that's definitely not how I mean it. Instead, I've just realized how our already good relationship can become even better by putting a little extra effort into it. Today our lesson in Relief Society was the Spencer W. Kimball lesson on marriage. It was really good and made me think more about the little things I can do that can show my abundance of love for my husband.

I think it was Hannah's blog that talked about the 100 days challenge, and one of the things that was listed under the daily section was daily acts of service for your spouse. That really stuck out to me, because I feel like we do things for each other every day, but they're not always anything extra special, or anything over the top to give a little extra helping of love, just part of the routine. I often think I do the laundry, dishes, make dinner, cleaning, etc., and so I'm serving my spouse, but really, that's serving our family and myself, not specifically him. So I'm thinking about things I can do to serve just him. I love the saying about giving your spouse the best of you instead of what's left of you. I'm often guilty of just giving Pat what's left of me everyday instead of the best of me. Yes, there are realities of marriage, and after a hard day, I'll probably be less likely to be giving my best, but I want to try. He's worth it. I'm worth it. Our marriage is worth it. Our family is worth it. I feel so blessed to have a husband who loves even what's left of me, imagine how happy he'll be if he gets the best of me. I've got a lot I can work on to be a better wife. I'm so blessed to have a partner who'll be with me while I learn. We teased each other when we would confront a new challenge when we first got married "last time I did this it was a complete disaster." Pat said it to me when I was feeling bad about being inadequate about one of my new wife duties (I can't even remember what it was, now), and he always knows how to make me laugh and lighten the mood so we can figure things out. He said it meaning that he'd never been a husband before either, and we're figuring out the challenges of being a spouse and a parent together- we're both doing some of these things for the first time, and we're learning together.

I love you, Patrick. Thank you for loving me. You've made my life so rich. I am truly blessed to have you by my side.

The Neglectful Parent

Sam has definitely been not himself for the past couple of weeks. Ever since the Energizer Virus at the beginning of the month, he's had some good and bad days, which is really out of sorts for him considering he really is mostly a good day kind of kid. I kept telling myself that maybe all good things come to an end, and we were starting to get the bad days typical to any kid. And really, bad is a relative term. Bad for Sam is nothing like bad for Addie. Bad for Sam entails a little bit of fussing, some trouble falling asleep on his own, maybe waking up some during the night. Bad for Addie at this age was a whole different story. But back to Sam. On Thursday night, he woke up screaming- a rare occurrence- and was not to be readily consoled. After a full waking with the whole fam and some playing, he finally settled down. Friday morning after he woke up, I made the delightful discovery that his right cheek and right ear were covered in wax. I'd been debating all week about whether or not he had an ear infection, but this confirmed my suspicions. After a trip to the ped, I learned he's had not just one, but two ear infections, and one ear drum had ruptured, hence the screaming Thursday night and wax volcano I discovered Friday morning. Those moments always make me feel like such a neglectful parent. I feel bad that I've prolonged my child's suffering. Worse, I have the realization that I've pushed aside promptings as my own silly thoughts when I really should have been listening and then taking action. I do that all too often in my life, probably causing bigger suffering sometimes than just an ear infection. I really need to work on listening. Maybe that should be my 2008 word, as suggested by Sharla who stole the idea from Kristi of Everything is Pink notoriety. I'm still pondering on my word for '08, but listen might do quite nicely....

Fashion Police Come in Small Packages

Today I came home from church and was cold. I needed to change out of my dress, but wasn't sure what to put on. It was a good cozy sweater fall kind of day, so I went through my closet and found a good cozy sweater. It was purchased when I was, rough ballpark, 14. It's a red cardigan with big white buttons. I was pretty hot in this number in 8th or 9th grade. Fast forward to today, and apparently, I was not so hot. I came into the family room from changing, and Addie looked at me and said "Mom, take your sweater off." I explained that I was cold and wanted to wear it, only to hear no less than 20 more times that I needed to take my sweater off. I told Addie if she brought me a blanket I'd take it off, but she wasn't concerned about my physical comfort, only the sheer fashion nightmare I was sporting. I have realized more than ever lately that my wardrobe is in need of an overhaul. The fact that I still own clothing from 8th or 9th grade should be the first clue. I've already informed Pat that when he gets a job, I'm doing a little shopping. I just received an extra reminder today of the urgency of the shopping. Maybe I'll have to bring my best miniature critic on my shopping ventures. If she's already this picky, heaven help me when she's a teenager.

The Walking Blogger...

I feel like I've been writing blog posts in my head all the time lately. Things happen and I think, "oh, I need to remember to blog about that," or "that is definitely blog worthy." So, hopefully I can remember some of the things I've been needing to put down on paper...er...keyboard...for posterity, ya' know? Let's see how many of these posts I can crank out tonight :)

"I'm Not Superstitious...

just a little stitious." This was one of the many highlights of last night's episode of The Office. I was all around giddy yesterday knowing it was going to be on. I'd wanted to have a premiere party I was so excited, but then decided I should watch it by myself so I wasn't interrupted. This show is so hilarious to me. I love that dry documentary style humor. I love Best in Show. I love A Mighty Wind. Yes, Sharla, I did catch Arrested Development a few times, but not as often as I'd hoped to before it was off the air! But enough of my comical preferences.

I did hear back from Kristi, the girl from Everything is Pink. She sent a great e-mail, and I was really glad I'd e-mailed her. One of her links asks for people to share good visiting teaching stories, so I sent her this one: "It's not really my story, but belongs to my current visiting teaching companion (K). When K was a teen, about 13 years ago, she became inactive. She wasn't making the best choices, got married to an inactive member, and continued living her life. About 4 or 5 years ago, a sister in our ward had a writing route where she wrote letters to sisters who weren't active or welcoming to visiting teachers. She wrote letters to K every month on cute paper putting that months message into her own words, bearing her testimony of it, and checking up on her. K saved every letter. After she had her first baby, and spurred on by the messages she'd been reading for the past 3 years written to her by a loving visiting teacher, she came back to church. Her husband is working on becoming active. K is the 2nd counselor in the primary presidency. She's been active for about 3 years. She comes to church with her 2 girls every week. She's working towards going to the temple, but being patient for her husband to go with her. A few months ago, we had our ward visiting teaching conference, and besides the people involved in putting it on, I think our total attendance was maybe 6 sisters. K was there, and was able to share the story of the influence the letters had on her with the sister who wrote the letters. K had never told her before how much those letters had meant to her. It was something so simple for this sister to do, but she was so moved to realize that her letters actually made an impact. She called me the next day in tears "I can't believe that I actually did something good." I had a lot of frustration at the lack of attendance at our conference, until the letter-writing sister called and let me know the sweet reunion that took place that night with her and K. Our conference was a success. An outpouring of love had come full-circle."

I totally love Kathy, my visiting teaching companion. I'm so happy we're together. She is such a great example to me, and she is working so hard to give her girls a good foundation in the gospel.

Whoa, from The Office to visiting teaching in one post is probably breaking some cardinal rule of blogging. If it's not, it should be. I should make these 2 seperate posts. I'm feeling edgy today, so I'll leave it all together. We've got not a lot on the agenda for the weekend, and I'm so happy about that! Hopefully it will be very productive- I have a lot I'd like to get done! Have a happy last weekend of September!