When to let our kids quit

Earlier this year I enrolled Daria and Dustin in Taekwondo. It's been a great experience and they've learned a lot. Surprisingly I've learned a lot too, but not about Taekwondo. I've learned some interesting parenting lessons, like it's not always easy to figure out where we end as a parent and where our kids begin, or how important it is to really be in tune with our children's needs or wants, and most importantly to follow those promptings we get in relation to our children.

Dustin was interested in taking martial arts. I knew it would give him a positive outlet for his energy and provide him with structure to build character, integrity, and self control while learning to set goals. Daria wanted to take gymnastics and I thought a summer program would be great. However, I felt a strong prompting that I should enrol her in Taekwondo instead. Daria was supportive of this and had no complaints. From day one she was positive, focused and intensely engaged. Quite frankly she is very good at it.

Then one day while playing with a friend I mentioned that we would need to leave for class in a few minutes. WHAT?!!! interrupt playing with friends to go to Taekwondo? and THAT is when the complaints began.

This caught me off guard. One moment she likes it, the next she doesn't. She would complain but get ready for class anyway. Once in class she was completely engaged in the lesson. For not liking Taekowndo it was surprising that she complained that Dustin was signed up for a year and she was only signed up for the summer (we extended it). During a goal setting class she made a goal to break a board with an axe kick. Dustin said "I thought you didn't like Taekwondo"..... slight pause from Daria as she checks to see if mom is listening "... uuhhmmmm, well I just like the kicks". Sometimes the complaints would cause the historical "how important it is to follow through with a task, give me one good reason why you want to quit, we've signed a contract" parent child discussion. Then one night as Daria was showing some friends of ours some things she learned in class. Our adult friend asked Daria if she liked Taekwondo. There was a lot of noise amid all the guests but I clued into the conversation and about that time saw Daria smile at her and then look at me from the corner of her eye hoping I was not listening. Realizing that I was listening she then answered "well..... sort of" as she tried to hold back the smile.

Because Daria continued to complain I began to wonder if this was one of those moments that I should allow her to quit. I wasn't about to have this sport make life miserable for Daria or our family. But things just didn't add up. Ken and I discussed it. I noticed several things. The complaints were not like real complaints, they were half heartily spoken. Each of us knows when our children are REALLY complaining about something and when they are just taking us for a ride. I noticed that when I responded to her complaints with validation instead of fighting about it, the complaints almost diminished. One night during class the Grand Master recognized Daria for her precise kicks and control of her body, I thought her head was going to swell so much that we wouldn't get her out the door. For now Ken and I came to the conclusion that Daria does enjoy Taekwondo but doesn't want to admit it because we are the ones who signed her up. For all of her complaints she asks to go to some of the special events, she volunteered herself to be in the parade, and begs me every day to buy her sparring gear now that they've earned their yellow belts, and didn't miss the opportunity to get her picture taken. Does that look like a girl who doesn't like Taekwondo??

So what did I learn? Well, beyond Taekwondo, I learned that I've all of the sudden entered the "I'm not going to like something because my mom does" stage. Regardless if it's clothes, books, music, food, hair, or Taekwondo, Daria does not want to admit that she might agree with me. This is ok, now that I've figured it out for today. I think it's normal. I've learned that we do need to listen to our children but we also need to find out what is motivating them towards or away from something. There will be times when as parents we take our kids out of something for their benefit and leave them in something for their benefit. Lastly, pay attention to those promptings. I may never know why I was prompted to put her in Taekwondo instead of gymnastics but I do know that when I follow the promptings I'm doing the right thing. Although Daria wont admit it, learning Taekwondo has benefited her, I can see it already.

Happy Fall

A bit overdue but Happy Fall to everyone!!!!

As most of you know, the months preceding Halloween around our house tends to be filled with pins, material and sewing machines. As I've said before I really don't care either way about Halloween but I do enjoy making costumes and dressing up. However, this year I had a super hard time motivating myself to sew anything. It's been an unusually busy year for us and my creative drive was limited. Next year I tell myself!

Even without all the oodles of hours sewing we had a fun Halloween, marked by a visit from Aunt Jillynne, a trip to the Air Show, the Trunk 'r Treat at church, Trick 'r Treating around our neighborhood with all of our friends and finalized with all of the kids huddled in one big mass on the driveway digging through their mounds of candy.

As you will notice there are NO pictures of Mr. Ken. If you are wondering why, well he had been suffering from some knotted up muscles and pinched nerve of sorts in his back/neck. This made Ken's interest in the Halloween festivities about a negative 100.

I did sew Daria's costume. She wanted to be a water fairy. Simple, cheap and quick. Dustin went as an Army Special Forces soldier (surprise surprise I bet you would have never guessed) In fact since I didn't spend what I usually do on material this year I put that money into Dustin's costume. He has wanted a Army uniform since he was 3 or 4 years old, and he will definitely get use out of it and already has.

I went as a WWII Red Cross Volunteer Nurse. No I did not make this outfit, and no it is not a store bought replica, in fact this outfit is the REAL DEAL, made and manufactured in the US between WWI and WWII. Now you are probably wondering how in the world I got my hands on this. As I mentioned on Saturday we attended the Air Show. One of the reasons we attended of course was to enjoy the Air Show, but I had also been asked to photograph the WWII Tora Tora reenactment by a friend of ours in the WWII reenactment unit. The only catch... I had to dress up as a WWII nurse in order to be on the field with the guys. I didn't hesitate and jumped at the chance for this opportunity and adventure. It was a blast! The dress belonged to our friend's father's girlfriend during the WWII era (did you catch that), and he allowed me to wear it that evening for Halloween too. How's that for cool!

Karie, Daria, Kat (homecoming Queen)

It's almost impossible to get Dustin to take a serious picture!

Dustin, Aunt Jillynne, and Daria

The following are pictures of Dustin's outfit. His name is actually on his uniform but since I'm posting this to my blog I smudged it out which makes it look a little lame, but I'd rather not have our last name on the world wide web.

Right shoulder: Special Ops Command

Left Shoulder: Special Forces, Airborne (that would be the Green Beret's), master parachutist badge, air assault badge, combat infantry badge, First Class Sergeant, LOL! boys can dream right! In real life those badges are EXTREMELY hard to earn.

We stopped by Brother L.'s house and he let Dustin try on his beret.

Ken and Daria on the Farm

Tribute to the amazing Handy Hubman

I've known people who in their dating years had lists of what they wanted in their future spouse, anything from personal qualities, hobbies, habits, interests, you name it. I admire the foresight of those individuals. I wasn't that specific during those years although I did have some guidelines on what I knew I didn't want, like anything that fell under the umbrella of "jerk". Ultimately I met and married a pretty amazing homegrown Texas farm boy. I had no lists and really no clue as to the extra blessings and benefits that come with a boy raised on a farm. Now as an adult I've got these mental lists of "why I'm glad I married Ken." I hope that Daria will see the qualities her dad has and maybe that will help her later on in life when she enters the dating world.

In marriage it's easy to notice all the differences. In fact, on the surface it would look like Ken and I don't have anything in common. I'm talkative, he's reserved. I like to travel, he could take it or leave it (he enjoys a little more now than early on in our marriage). I like museums, history, historical markers, he's rarely moved by these things and his usual comment is "do you have to look at EVERYthing in the museum?" - uh, yes and I want to read the description as well. I like to read, Ken would rather poke his eyes out. He likes sports, me "Sports? what's that?". He's funny, I'm not. The good news is that we balance each other out and have the most important things in common, marriage, family, spending time together, the gospel, our faith, and how we feel our marriage should be and how we raise our children. All the other things are just appendages, extras, which leads me back to the list of qualities I could have looked for in a husband, and was lucky to get in Ken the Texas Farm Boy. These are the things that matter.

1. Stuff. Ken's not a "stuff" guy, which has made buying birthday or Christmas presents a challenge. Ken's a simple guy, isn't surrounded by "stuff" and would rather spend time together and give a gift than to get one.

Ken made this for me on Mother's Day this year, along with homemade cornbread..my favorite. My favorite flower is a Tulip, hard to find here, and I'm not much for cut flowers, would rather they be planted in the yard. So he made me a fruit bouquet instead.

2. Darn good cook. Ken grew up in what I call the "Betty Crocker" home. His mom is the best cook around. Even when Daria and Dustin are asked where their favorite place to eat is, instead of choosing a restaurant they will ALWAYS choose Grandma H's kitchen. Everyone in that family knows how to cook and cook well. No Rachael Ray needed. Ken is no different, a down-home cooking mastermind of various meats, fish, breads, and deserts. Growing up on a farm provided little opportunity for eating out. They grew the food and they learned to cook the food.

3. Great listener. Ken is quiet and reserved socially and will usually only come out of his shell around people he knows really well. He's not shy, just quiet. In this aspect he is just like his mom. Ken listens to everything around him. He usually knows everything about you, what you do or don't like, what kind of help you need and how to do it. It's just how he grew up. He's always there to help because he has listened to what is needed. Even when I think Ken has lost touch with who I am, I come to find that sometimes he knows me better than me. Part of that is personality and the other part is learning what really mattered out on the farm-people.

4. Support. While we don't share many of the same hobbies/interests, he puts a lot of effort into supporting what I'm interested in. He makes sure I have opportunities to further my goals/interests. Another quality he cultivated growing up. There was little time for self serving. You went to school during the day, you got home and worked on the farm, or helped someone else on their farm.

5. Hard Worker. Ken is a serious work horse. I'm not talking about a "workaholic." If there is a job to be done, Ken is there and will work his tail off until it's finished. His whole family is like this. Whether it's helping someone move, repairing something, spreading mulch in all the neighbors yards, hurricane clean up. You name it, Ken puts in 110% of his time and energy. We all know Ken's sob story of not being able to try out for the football team because he had to work on the farm. While that was a disappointment, I couldn't imagine being married to anyone with less determination to be a hard worker, or the actual ability to work hard. Who knows maybe he would still be a hard worker even if he played football, but I'm thinking his "cotton picking, corn planting, cow maintaining education" far outweighs a few years of football.

Ken helping with hurricane Katrina clean up.

Images copyright Jed Clark

6. Service. I suppose this is a combination of the previous 3 qualities, but I can't pass up mentioning it. Ken is happiest when he's doing something for someone else. Whether it's church service, helping neighbors, doing things for family & friends, or volunteering as a Basic EMT on the ambulance, Ken is there and loves doing it.

Ken helping our friends prepare for the hurricane

7. Patience. Ken has been blessed with a lot of patience. I'm probably not the easiest person to live with. Being more of the "alpha" type personality. Ken has calmly and patiently stuck with me as I learned to stretch myself in a way that benefits both of us instead of behaving like a steam roller crushing the free agency of others. Ok, that makes me sound like some barbarian, which I'm not, what I'm saying is it's been a process to celebrate the fact that we all contribute to the marriage/family and that sometimes there is more than one way to do something, and it may not be my way, and that is ok.

8. There are a ton of other qualities that I could list here, but the last one I want to mention, which was what made me start thinking about this whole subject in the first place, is Ken's woodworking ability. By profession, Ken is a Unix Engineer (computer stuff). By hobby, he makes things. His grandfather was a carpenter. When he was younger he had opportunities to make, build, or fix things. His ability to work with wood, welder, or tools, combined with the qualities I listed above has turned out to be a amazing blessing in our home. I never said to myself "when I get married, my husband better be handy with tools and saws so we can have beautiful things, save money making something that would be more expensive to buy, or to cut wood projects for the Relief Society..." It NEVER crossed my mind what a blessing that would be, and so here is a tribute to my amazing Handy Hubman......

Ken (on the left) and his Ag teacher. Ken & a buddy made this cattle trailer & won Grand Champion in AG Mechanics for it.

Ken didn't like the "maroon" tile in our kitchen, and later replaced it with "burnt orange" (it's a Texas thing)

This isn't your ordinary wok. This is made from a tractor disk. Seriously! A friend showed Ken how and the next chance Ken got to rummage through his dad's farm equipment he grabbed this tractor disk, sand blasted it, welded the handles and turned it into a wok that can cook food for a army of people! Yum!

Working hard on something for me, as usual...

Ken and his dad built this "day room" on the back of our old house. Ken is finishing the tile.

Ken built the drawers and the super cool lazy suzan that the TV sits on so we can swivel it in different directions.

There is never enough storage space in closets. No problem, shelves added.

Ken cannot bear for me to spend good money on Ikea pressed particle board furniture (no offense to Ikea). I was interested in this hutch, Ken made it out of real oak for about $250.00 cheaper than the pressed particle board at Ikea. Way to go Ken!

Hubman's added touches to our piano & dining room

Have you ever priced a 6x4 foot dining room mirror? We did and it was way too expensive.... home project #500... Ken made this innovative dining room mirror (including the tile, we hand painted it and then had it fired)

Desk for the kids

Latest project. About 30 picture frames for me. Now I've got to paint them.

These are actually file cabinets that Ken made for my storage closet

Dustin's Bed

Daria's Bed

Only a Mormon would appreciate this. Ken made the bottom portion, drawers for clothes, just 2 days before Daria was born. Later he made the compartment for the extra space, room to hold 108 #10 cans that you can put in one side and roll out the other, and disguise with a bed skirt. Ken's idea. The first picture shows the drawers for clothes and #10 cans

with the bed skirt

The list is actually longer than that, this is just what I had pictures of. A few other items that Ken has made: a bed for our neighbor's daughter, laid flooring in our last 3 houses, mirrors and moulding in the bathrooms, projects for the school carnival, a stool for me, picture tile's for the Relief Society, house built on the rock for our family sharing time in Primary, double sand box for the kids, square foot garden, reindeer card holder, bulletin boards for the kids, and most recently a TON of craft projects for the Relief Society Super Saturday. Thanks Ken for all that you've done to beautify our home!

An American Hero

“When I made it back (to the United States) I made a promise to God that I will never let the memory (of my fallen teammates) die,” “I thought I would keep their memory alive by writing the book and that would be it. I didn’t know I would be giving talks like this.” Marcus Luttrell

There are all sorts of heroes in this world. Some big, some small, some may be your own personal hero, some you may never know at all. They can be classified as a hero for a myriad of reasons. We often only hear about the "childhood" version of a hero, a character in a cape, or a famous sports player. The first is fictitious, and the second, well, generally, is not usually a hero at all, but just someone who is skilled at what they do. No offense to those sports personalities but we are all good at something, some of us just get recognized for it more than others.

But I'm talking about a real hero, the kind that embodies the honorable characteristics of what a hero should be, as the dictionary puts it: a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities, a person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life. An American Hero.

I met such a hero today, a real true patriot, a person who voluntarily chose a career to protect you and me. He sacrificed it all and will pay for it the rest of his life because of it. He's a larger than life giant standing at 6'5" but his 250 pounds is far less now as the lingering effects of his injuries have taken its toll.

If you are wondering who this "hero" is, his name is Marcus Luttrell. I'm betting that you have never heard of that name and have no clue who this man is. It wouldn't surprise me. For two reasons. First Marcus spent his career as a Navy SEAL. As with all special forces in the military you don't hear much about them because it could jeopardize their safety and the job they have to do. But I'm also guessing that you may not have heard of him because just like countless others who serve our country so faithfully every day, they are just generalized as "the military". When you do hear about them it's usually a pitiful blurb in a newspaper, or a number notating how many have died. It's quite a disservice to those who have given so much, who get so little in return in recognition for what they have done.


So who is the Marcus and why is he a hero? Well, if you want the full story you can read his book "Lone Survivor - The eyewitness account of Operation Redwing & the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10." You may not be interested in some military book, but what happened in this book has everything to do with you and me.

Marcus was the only survivor in what was the largest loss of life in the history of the SEALs (a total of 19 SEALs). It is nothing less than a miracle that Marcus is still alive. Losing his best friends and fellow SEAL teammates in a standoff with 150 Taliban, Marcus was injured almost beyond repair, among other things, a broken back, pelvis, smashed in nose, cut in half tongue, shot several times, legs marred with injuries with no feeling, crawled using his elbows for several miles while being hunted, later to be beaten by the Taliban, protected by Pashtun villagers, and eventually rescued (but not before 16 other SEALs who were sent in to rescue him were shot down by the Taliban). But that's not the only reason that he is a hero. Marcus painfully chose to recount what happened during Operation Redwing to honor the fallen heroes, his best friend's Danny Dietz, Michael Murphy, and Matt Axelson. What these men did was incredibly heroic. I can't recount their stories here, it still makes me cry.

Marcus doesn't consider himself a hero, a patriot yes, but not a hero. Contrary to SEAL folklore he said "I'm just a man, I do not wear a cape on my back"

Marcus was pleasant and more than willing to sign books and take pictures. Due to his injuries he had to quit after 30 minutes, but as he walked away he turned and told the University staff, "tell the rest to leave their books here along with their phone numbers. I'll come back and sign them and you can contact them so they can come pick them up" (all 450 of them). That is amazing.

I wondered if I cried because I'm a girl, but Kenny C. said he couldn't stop crying as he read the end of the book. Mike L. said it affected him too and Mate said "If anyone reads this book and is not effected then there is something wrong with that person." I will say, as I read the final moments of this operation I actually sobbed, not just cried but sobbed. I would love to read the book again but it was so emotionally charging for me that I've not had the strength pick it up again.

Our small band who made the trip, Candace, Karie, Kenny, Leah, and Laura. Michelle, Mate, Laura S., and Mike were not able to make it, and of course Celeste couldn't make it either.

So that brings us to today. Marcus is a native of the state I live in . He also lives in our backyard (not literally but about an hour north). He was scheduled to speak at the local University that graduated from. A handful of us piled in my van to attend his speech which was well worth it. We were lucky enough to get good seats and thanks to Kenny C. we were also able to secure a good spot in line for the book signing too. As I sat there I wondered why we as a people have a need to see such spectacular people in person, what is it that drives us to want to connect with those who have faced insurmountable battles? and then it hit me, in the situation with Marcus Luttrell, he is not only a hero, but a living representative of every man or woman who has served or lost their life serving our country, especially those in the special forces as they have the most dangerous jobs of all. He stands as a symbol of those we should be honoring, those who give so much so we can have even more. Marcus promised that if he survived he would never let Michael, Danny, and Axe's heroism die. He's done just that, and for this I'm thankful that he shared the story. The need to be there was this inner desire to say "hey, your story meant something to me, what you and those men did meant something to me, I get it, and I will never forget it."

"People make mistakes and bad things happen," Luttrell said, summing up the events, "We fought as hard as we could. My greatest honor was to serve my country."

Holly Luttrell, the horse whisperer and mother of twin Navy SEALs, Morgan and Marcus. She too was happy to sign our books and answered our questions.

You may never read his book, but here is some food for thought, below, in Marcus' own words. As you read it, think about it, 4 SEALs, 1 seriously injured, 3 dead, 16 other SEALs killed verses the 3 goat herders that they mercifully let go, who within moments were either part of the Taliban or notified the Taliban. Knowing this, don't be too quick to judge Marcus' opinions below. He was there.

“We had captured them (3 men) until we could determine what to do, when about 100 goats came up,” Luttrell said. “Despite what you may have heard, war is not black and white — it is very gray. “Those goats were the biggest instrument in our decision — we decided to let them go and pushed back to our original position.”

WHAT was the right thing to do on the mountain? In the book, Luttrell describes how the team talked it out, trying to find the best course of action. If they killed the men, they worried, the American media would get wind of it, and they'd be charged with murder. Luttrell wondered what great commanders in the past - Napoleon, Omar Bradley, MacArthur - would have done. "Would they have made the ice-cold military decision to execute these cats because they posed a clear and present danger to their men?" On the other hand, he felt the promptings of "another soul. My Christian soul." "Something kept whispering in the back of my mind, it would be wrong to execute these unarmed men in cold blood."

"It was the stupidest, most southern-fried, lamebrained decision I ever made in my life," Luttrell writes. "I must have been out of my mind. I had actually cast a vote which I knew could sign our death warrant. " At least, that's how I look back on those moments now. Probably not then, but for nearly every waking hour of my life since. No night passes when I don't wake in a cold sweat thinking of those moments on that mountain. I'll never get over it." He's certain the goatherds betrayed their presence to the Taliban. "In my opinion, we should have killed them," he says today. "I regret it every day. I miss my friends."

HE wrote the book to pay tribute to his friends' heroism, he said. "No matter what I say or what I put into words, it won't do justice to what they did out there."

... and as if it wasn't enough for Marcus to live through .. earlier this year he faced another horrific experience. Upon returning to the US in 2005, the government gave him a "recovery" puppy as he went through rehabilitation. He named the dog "DASY" the letters standing for Daniel "Danny" Dietz, Matthew "Axe" Axelson, Southern boy (Marcus), and Michael "Yankee" Murphy in honor of his fellow SEAL teamates and friends who died in operation RedWing. On April 1st of this year, a group of teenagers with nothing to do went around town killing animals. They shot and killed "Dasy", Marcus four year old dog, who helped him through recovery and the loss of his friends.

Upon signing our books, Marcus' message to us was simple. He signed "Never Quit - Marcus Luttrell"

Semper Fi

As a little boy Dustin liked tractors. He loved his grandpa's farm and all those cool farm "man-toys" that he could climb in-out-and-on, which he still enjoys doing. I had painted his room green, not because of John Deere, but to do something different from the standard "boy-blue" color.

My brother painted this on Dustin's wall. We framed it with some moulding.

I think the green walls somehow began to represent military fatigue green. Dustin's interest has turned towards the military. It might have started in 2005 when we had the opportunity to ride in our friend Turman's 6th Cav. WWII jeep in the local parade. Or maybe when he got to hold that huge bazooka, or when he learned about George Washington and the battles he led, or when he dug 4 little green Army men out of the Larsen's sand pit and held on to those men like they were worth a million dollars. Or it could just be one of those stages boys go through.

Honestly though, ever since I can remember, if Dustin saw a soldier in any type of uniform he would stop and take notice. So it is we've entered the "little green Army men" stage. For more than a year Dustin was focused on becoming an Air Force pilot. That's changed slightly as he would really like to fly the AH-64 Apache helicopter (because the helmet controls the gun.. quite fascinating really), especially now that he realizes that all the branches of the service have pilots.

2005 our family in the WWII jeep.

Back when I was a kid the Air Force provided posters that you could wrap your text books with showing the old "Aim High" Air Force motto. I thought it would be fun to get one of those to hang in Dustin's room. I searched the internet and couldn't find ONE SINGLE military poster. I did find a fighter jet calendar. $12.00 bucks. Not bad. Framed those, hung them up. Dustin was thrilled. I was feeling frugal. One autographed B1 bomber picture from author Chris Stewart. Still feeling frugal, but frustrated that I couldn't find any posters. Then an idea struck me..... "I wonder if the recruiter's have any?" One phone call and visits to the Marine, Navy, Army, and Air Force recruiter's later I'm loaded with posters galore. Each recruiter I visited told me not to worry, they have mom's coming in there all the time asking for stuff. (and I thought I had an original idea!) Dustin is now overjoyed with his military wall decor. Now lest you think that the recruiters were stingy, think again. I came home with a lot more than posters. Our last stop was the Army. Instead of just giving us a poster, they brought us back to the storage room and loaded us up with 2 grocery sized Army bags full of: pens, pencils, flashlights, umbrellas, cards, iPod holders, cups, backpacks, mouse pads, lanyards... you name it they gave it to us. They said they were out of the Army camp chairs otherwise they would have given us a few of those. It ended up being comical. When Celeste was here it seemed that every corner you turned in our house you would run into some sort of Army paraphernalia. The short of the long story, I'm still feeling pretty frugal. $12.00 calendar, few dollar frames and a bunch of free posters. Can't beat that price.

Fighter jets. The picture in the middle has an explanation, I'll blog on that later.

From Aunt Melissa a few years ago.

Dustin's hat collection. Army, Marine (3), National Guard, Air Force, Navy

There are more posters in the closet. I won't post those. They are the "cool" ones, uh, you know the ones with the "guns"

Anyway, this has been a fun stage for several reasons. For one, I LOVE history. World, political, and military history. I grew up around the military (not in my family, just the town I lived in) and have always been interested in it. So at least it's something I can interact with my son on. We can enjoy the Military channel together, or reading books like "Super Sonic Saints." At the same time I recognize that for a little boy its most likely all about being "cool". I mean really, who can look at a serviceman or woman in uniform and not get that "cool patriotic teary eyed I love my country feeling." At least I do. But to a seven year old a soldier carrying a huge M16 rifle just looks pretty darn "cool."

With that said, I've decided that I would teach Dustin the depth of history. Since I love history, instilling it in my kids isn't such a bad idea. I want him to know that being a soldier isn't about looking cool and carrying a big gun. I want him to know that it has to do with responsibility and honor, in protecting our freedoms and helping others remain or become free. That's a huge responsibility and often carries with it a heavy cost of sacrifice. While many boys glorify the ugliness of war while playing violent video games killing without feeling, Dustin is learning the importance of our military, with purpose, with feeling. He's learning about our country, its history, and those who sacrificed so much for it and for us. He's learning that there are a ton of careers in the military. I'm ok if he's excited about all the tactical gear, weaponry, vehicles, and machines. I get it.. because I love those things too. I'm just absolutely fascinated with the detailed aspects of the military.

But what I want Dustin to understand is that the super cool looking soldier carrying a M16 rifle, is someones son, brother, father, husband, cousin, or NEPHEW.... and for us, that is real. (not to exclude service women, add them to the sentence)

Tonight we made our last call to our nephew Jonathon. He's Dustin's hero, always has been. Somehow ever since Dustin was born and figured out who Jonathon was he's been his hero. Jonathon is the cousin that Dustin loves the most, looks up to the most, respects the most and wants to be with the most. Regardless of being a bit older Jonathon is the one that all of the other cousins will chase and love to be tickled by. He never seems to tire of their constant harassment to gain his attention. I'm sure Jonathon has his grumpy days but I've NEVER seen him grumpy towards the cousins. He's one of those patient, gentle giants towards them a natural born leader, they all love it, and we all love him.

Jonathon has always taken the time to interact with Dustin. He made sure his mom gave Dustin one of his Marine hats from boot camp, even though it was hard for her to give that second one up. That meant a lot too Dustin, and it is one of Dustin's most prized possessions which he wears often. When we would receive a letter, he would mention Dustin. If Jonathon calls he will always talk to Daria and Dustin too.

You might be wondering what I meant by "our last call." I'll explain. This Sunday, the 13th, Jonathon will be on his way to Afghanistan. We're not sure for how long or when we will get to hear from him next. We are all anxious as he will be going to the "hot zone." Jonathon in his calm positive manner told me earlier this year "well, that's what we've been trained for, that's why we are here." We are praying for his protection and will honor his decision to serve by being a little bit better, recognizing our freedoms more frequently, and remembering those who carry the weight of this country and other countries on their backs. We love you Jonathon!

the ultimate tickle!

Jonathon & Dustin