In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. -Andy Warhol Who is Andy Warhol? I don’t know, but he spend 15 minutes being famous for art or something. Apparently, Warhol did not spend 15 minutes being famous for math, because some basic crunching of the number proves that it would be impossible for…
Had a great business plan. Cheap psychic readings. Plan failed. My psychic shop went under. Shoulda seen that one coming.
The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown. -Genesis 6:4 They are here. We have always known it. Something not quite human, but almost human. When it passes…
Success invloves putting one foot in front of the other until you step into a giant bear trap and lose one of your feet. Then you start hopping.
A new year has dawned. That means that the time has come for Dumbestblogger’s most prestigious award of the year: the annual top 10 books read by such and such a person. I would think about turning this into an annual awards ceremony like the Oscars or Grammys, but unfortunately all of the authors of…
According to the title this is my 1000th blog post. That title is a lie. I have thrown in a few random assorted post for which I ill-advisedly abandoned my numerical scheme, so my 1000th post was actually published quite some time ago. That said, it would be far too much work, or I am…
A snowflake is a crystal of ice which falls from the sky. That is all. It has been said that no two snowflakes are identical. That may be true, but they are all the same.
“Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat” “For shame Edward! We don’t body-shame geese!” Shrieked aunt Agnes. “But it was a tasty goose.” Said Edward. “I don’t care how tasty, juicy, scrumptious, delicious or all around delectable the goose is. In this house we will speak respectfully of all geese.” “Why don’t you try…
It occurs to me that there is no such thing as a Pink Panther Christmas movie. That’s sad. It’s something that the world badly needs. Jacques slammed his car into reverse and skidded onto the curb directly behind him, bouncing off a lampost before careening down the marble stairs. “Are you alright?” A concerned woman…
The other day, while writing a post for my WordPress blog I noticed a tab on the right-hand side of my screen offering “Writing Assistance.” While the offer of assistance is nice, I am sure, the truth is that I am quite used to the present state of affairs. For although I do not have…
A new fashion trend is taking the country be storm. Walk down any sidewalk or city street in America and you will see all of the hip, cool kids walking around with what appears to be half of a high top sneaker on each foot. In fact, that is exactly what is happening. In a…
Sometime in the early 18th century, around the same time as the modern piano was invented, a piece of music was composed. This piece, known as “The Minuet in G” would become a familiar favorite for millions of beginner piano students. The composership of the “Minuet in G” has largely been attributed to Johanne Sebastien…
Dragons, you see, are ferocious creatures. They would as soon eat your arm as look at you, and when that was done they would be hungry for another snack, and turn around and eat your leg. You can see why the knights of long ago fought dragons, for dragons are not at all pleasant when…
“I woke up in Montana one morning.” Said Pete. “Don’t know how I got there. I was drunk one night, and the next morning I was in Montana. Spent a couple years there.” Pete was in his mid 70s. Most people in their 70s aren’t spending their retirement years as day laborers picking fruit, but…
About halfway between Starbucks and Burger King lies the classic Canadian restuarant Tim Horton’s. No actual bacon is served at this esteemed establishment, only little round pieces of meat sized perfectly for a shishkabob stick. Some people have claimed that these round pieces of meat masquerade as bacon, but if that is the case they…
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