Names

Last night some of us were answering lists of questions on Facebook. One of the questions was how did you get your name and I answered that my name came from a book my mother was reading before I was born.  I added to the answer my daughter gave about her name and decided to explain why each of my daughters had the name she was given.
I had always wanted to name a daughter Anne Marie.  My favorite great aunt was Mary Storey and my sister's middle name was Anne.  But I didn't care for Mary Anne so I flipped it and decided on Anne Marie.  (My husband wanted to name a daughter Monique but I didn't think that went with his Danish last name.) 
When I was pregnant with my first baby we had decided to call him Ivan Richard (for each of our fathers) or call her Anne Marie.  However some friends at church were expecting a baby the same day and their little girl was born early, only lived a short time and they named her Anna Marie.  I felt like it would be painful for them if we used such a similar name, so we began looking through family history to find an alternative if our baby was a girl.  We discovered that my husband's family had several women named Julia, including his grandmother.  We liked that name but never did think of a middle name.  So she was just Julia. 

Julia Leona Ellis Larsen 1922 with Leland Ivan Larsen on the left

  

Julia Larsen age 3

 The interesting thing was that whenever I imagined my little girl who would be named Anne Marie, she had light brown hair and brown eyes.  When Julia was born she didn't look at all like the Anne Marie I had pictured in my mind.  In spite of the faded photo above, Julia had dark hair and gray eyes.
Three years later I had another baby girl.  This one was clearly the Anne Marie I had seen and we gave her that name.

Anne Marie Larsen at age one

Anne Marie and Julia 1976 wearing clothes knitted by their paternal grandmother

So there you have it - how my lovely daughters received their names.

Gratitude

We are in between two big storms.  One blew in last night and knocked out power to the north and south of us.  So far here it has just been the lights flickering now and then.  I am grateful.  The BIG storm is actually a typhoon headed in our direction and is supposed to hit this area sometime tomorrow.  (For those of you who wonder - hurricanes originate in the Atlantic and typhoons originate in the Pacific, but are the same thing).  In between we are treated to lots and lots and lots of rain.

Snoqualmie October 13 and 14, 2016

This is Snoqualmie Falls.  The first picture was taken yesterday and the one on the right was taken today.  Like I said, lots of rain.

I spend my weekdays driving kids to the bus or to school and then picking them up in the afternoon.  I don't always drive to the bus stop but when it's raining I feel like I should.  Between morning drop-off and afternoon pickup I have time to myself.  That hasn't happened since last October when my daughter and grandchildren moved in with me, but this year my grandson is in Kindergarten and that's all day in Renton.

So what do I do with my spare time?  I've been sewing.  I made some quilted bags, some baby burp pads and I have been sewing quilts.  Quilting was never my thing - I was intimidated by the tiny stitches my mom used to put into hand-quilted whole cloth quilts and the rest of the process (buy fabric, cut it into small pieces then sew it back together) just seemed beyond me.  I could buy a blanket for less than what it cost to make a quilt.  However after Neal died I began slowly learning more about the process and was invited to join a sewing group with friends from church.  They met twice a month at someone's house but since we all sat around her dining room table, I was limited to small projects like quilted bags because we were seated so closely together.

I did make a few other quilts - a pink and purple butterfly quilt for my granddaughter's bed when they moved to the farmhouse and she had a larger bed.  I made a dinosaur flannel quilt top for my grandson that my daughter quilted.  When they moved here I made a twin size quilt black, gray and hot pink for the granddaughter's smaller bed and my daughter made a stars and galaxies quilt for my grandson.

Last winter I decided to use some of the fabric I had on hand to make a new quilt for my bed.  The last time I made a quilt for myself was in 1984 when I took a class and made a lone star quilt in shades of blue.  My mom and my sister quilted it.  I know I made mistakes because my sister told me that I should have used a print on the back of the quilt instead of a solid color, and I suspect I bought poly cotton fabric, not knowing that wasn't a good idea.  But I liked that quilt and used it on my bed for a long time.  The new quilt top was finished last spring and my daughter wants to hand quilt it for me as soon as she gets through with two other projects.

Last spring my neighbor across the street invited me to go with her to Lynden Washington near the Canadian border to stay in a lovely timeshare and sew all week.  It was wonderful to get away!  I learned so much about the process and how to be more accurate, and I loved some of the quilt tops she was making.  

That was last spring.  Since then I have become more creative and have completed several beautiful quilts which will be presents for family members.  I also saw a picture of a Celtic quilt that I loved but the accompanying article was about machine quilting.  I sat  down with the picture and figured out how it was made, counted and recounted the number of blocks and decided to try it.  I made a sample block to make sure I was doing it right, and then I began.  The quilt is lovely but my neighbor and I have determined that it needs a small border around the outside to frame it.  I mentioned that we are having a horrible storm and I haven't wanted to go to the quilt shop in the next town south of me to look for batik fabric to become the border.  Today I decided to put some things away and found purple batik in exactly the color I needed.  I don't remember using that fabric for anything else, but I suspect it might have been part of a quilted tote bag.  At any rate, there is enough to make the border and I don't have to go shopping for more fabric.  I really do prefer to stay safely at home, so I am grateful to have found that purple fabric today.

Now, if the power will just stay on over the weekend I will be very grateful.

Note - I just realized I need to take more pictures of finished quilts in order to have some kind of record of my progress.

Rant

I'm annoyed.  If you don't want to read about my frustration, stop now.

I like my hair to look nice and choose to wear it short.  That means I need a haircut every 4 weeks.  Finding a stylist who can do a precision cut has been a challenge and I'm grateful to have found someone who does good work. She is the manager of a franchise so her hours vary depending on availability of the staff to cover multiple shifts.

Now that I have family living with me I have to find a time when I can leave the grandchildren to drive to that location. It takes some adjusting to work that into our schedule.  The franchise wants clients to check in online, so this is the process:

1.  Call the franchise
2.  Inquire if C____ is available
3.  If she is available, hang up and check in online
4. Drive to the location
5. Get a good haircut
6. Drive home

For the past three months getting in to see her has frustrated me.  Each month this has been the process.
1.  Call the franchise
2.  Inquire if C____ is available.
3.  Listen to someone with limited English tell me "she be here at X o'clock
4. Wait until X o'clock.
5. Call to verify again
6. Check in online
7. Drive to the location
8. Get the haircut
9. Drive home

One month I failed to make the second call to verify and just checked in online at the time they said.  She wasn't there and I was told, "She come tomorrow."  When I checked in  online the next day and drove to the location, she wasn't there.  "She be back Monday."  Or whenever.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Today is a holiday but I thought there might be a chance that she would work this afternoon since she sometimes comes in at three on Mondays.  I followed Steps 1 through 5 but the line was busy.  It was busy for 20 minutes so I thought perhaps she was there but faxing reports which would have tied up the phone line.  I completed steps 7 and 8 but when I arrived at the franchise I was told, 'She come tomorrow."  I explained that I had called earlier and been told she would arrive at 2 today.  "She leave early."  So, she arrived at 2 and left at 2:25?  I know that she lives in another town and find it difficult to believe she would have driven all that way just to work 30 minutes.  I drove home and tried calling again - yep, the phone was still busy, so either it's out of order or in the absence of the manager the others are chatting with friends.

This has happened three months in a row.  The first month I complained to C____ about the wrong information.  Last month I didn't say anything but did ask if her schedule was more settled.  Apparently it wasn't.  But I need a haircut and I'm annoyed that the employees either can't understand enough English to distinguish between ARRIVE and LEAVE; or perhaps they just say whatever and think that since I'm there I'll settle for someone else.  Not happening.  I've had bad haircuts from several others in that shop and if I can't have C____ I will begin looking for a new stylist.

Given a choice, I would take my business to a location where English is spoken by all employees.

Rant is over now.  I still need a haircut.

Unintentional Loss

About four months ago I bought my first smart phone.  I have been needing access to the stake directory as well as some way to send group texts to Neal's family so it was time to upgrade.

I've struggled with the lack of memory in the new phone because they had transferred all my photos from my previous phone.  I knew there was a way to move all the photos to the SD card, but couldn't seem to do it by myself, nor with my daughter's help.  Her phone isn't like mine and we couldn't find the way to transfer photos.

This morning I went to the Verizon store and asked them for help.  Quick fingers flew over the screen and my photos were transferred to the card.  We double-checked to make sure they were there.  The employee asked me if I wanted him to delete the photos from the Gallery on the phone.  I asked him if that would also delete them from the card.  He said no so I let him do it.  I checked to make sure the storage reflected that change, thanked him for his help and drove home.  

Back at home I tried to show my daughter how to access the card, the photos weren't in there.  I was horrified.  We tried a few things without success and then I called the Verizon store.  Long story but eventually I drove back to the store where the same employee took my phone and searched all over but was unable to locate the photos.  He didn't accept responsibility for their loss but speculated that something had happened to my phone on the trip home from their store.  He said he was sorry.

They're gone.

Lost.

Photos of my grandchildren from years past, photos of Julia before she died, and photos of my husband including ones he sent me before he died.

All gone.

I know it's just glimpses of memories but my heart aches to think that all those sweet memories have disappeared and I can never get them back.

What Makes a Friendly Church?

In preparing for a Gospel Doctrine lesson covering Mosiah 25 - 28 this Sunday I've been thinking about how we can feel unified as a world-wide church.  I think it needs to start on a local basis and expand from our ward to the stake and beyond.  That caused me to ponder how I've felt when moving into a new ward.  A few experiences came to mind.

1) We were newlyweds and moved into our new ward where we lived for a year.  Each Sunday we were greeted by several people, that summer we attended two ward parties, and we tried to fit in.  At the ward picnic on the 24th of July my husband offered to cut the watermelons for everyone as a way to help, but I remember distinctly that there were people at the picnic who would not respond when we spoke to them. It felt like we hadn't been accepted and weren't really part of the group.

2) We attended a different ward one Sunday and a Relief Society chorus was supposed to sing.  When it was time for all the women to go up for that musical number a woman across the aisle from us stood up, walked over to me and plopped her beautiful baby on my lap.  Tears filled my eyes that she trusted me, a stranger, with her precious child.  I felt welcome in their midst.  After the meeting we introduced ourselves and learned she had a similar background to that of my husband.  A few weeks later I was playing the organ at the temple and noticed a woman who had been in church the previous Sunday.  After the temple session we talked briefly and the next week she invited me to ride with her to the temple.  In hindsight I realize I should have reciprocated and offered to drive the following week but I was still terrified of driving and it didn't occur to me.   Later we felt welcomed when another couple invited us to dinner at their home.  There were three couples that day and we formed a long-lasting friendship with all of them.   By the time we'd been in the ward for a few weeks I had a calling and felt needed.  My husband had only begun attending church when we were married and he was still "on the fringe."  The high priest leadership dropped by one evening and Neal was rather cool because their visit was unannounced.  Shortly after that one of the men made an appointment to home teach and came with a lesson he had especially prepared for Neal based on a comment he had made about liking to fish.  I was touched that he had made the effort to reach out to Neal in that way, rather than just teaching a basic gospel principle.

3) We need to reach out beyond our immediate circle and be careful not to exclude others as we socialize.  Last winter there was a pre-school play group at the church on Thursday mornings.  Since Dreygan was not old enough for kindergarten we thought it would be fun for him to go to the church and make some new friends.  I took him a few times but it felt terribly awkward.  I mentioned my concerns to my daughter and when she had a Thursday morning off work she took her son, and observed the same thing.  Each week there was a large group of women from one ward and only a few others.  The large group put their chairs in a circle so they could chat and they spoke only to each other.  The few outsiders were tolerated at best and their children were treated a little differently.  When I needed to ask a question about a certain toy, they answered briefly and then went back to their own group interactions.  It was not a welcoming environment and we never went back.

So what's the secret to helping others feel part of a group?  I believe it is including the individual in various ways, not just shaking hands and saying hello on Sundays.  It takes more effort than that, but it is worth it if we want to be Christlike.

Relief

I've spent the past few months scheduling and experiencing multiple medical tests.  I've seen the eye surgeon, the dentist, my primary care doctor, the folks that conduct MRI's, the kind women at the breast center as well as multiple lab technicians.  I've also seen the chiropractor and my massage therapist.  Most recently I was referred to a kidney specialist who referred me to diagnostic imaging for an ultrasound.  I was amazed that today - a Saturday - he called me with the results of that ultrasound. A highly-qualified specialist who takes the time to call a new patient on the weekend just to reassure me that all is well?  That was a surprise for me.  

The conclusion after all these exams and tests has been that at age 72 I am in pretty good shape.  My eye problem still doesn't require surgery and I don't even need new lenses.  My teeth are fine, the concerns about possible breast cancer have been alleviated, and my heart seems to be doing well with the change in one medication and reduction in dosage of another medication.  The call today was to let me know that whatever is going on with my kidneys is at the microscopic level and I don't need to be concerned.  

I am so very grateful for all of these positive results.  I know they will be watching my labs in June to see if the risk of type II diabetes has returned but hopefully that will be under control as well.  I'm trying to stay away from orange juice because I know that has been a problem for me in the past.  

What should I do with this body that is still healthy?  I'm going to continue to do the things that bless the lives of others.  In no particular order these are on my list:
1.  Attend the temple once a week
2.  Play the organ for church once a month
3.  Lead the ward choir (select music, encourage them and continue to recruit new singers)
4.  Coordinate volunteers for community suppers three nights a month
5.  Serve on the stake Public Affairs committee
6.  Be a diligent visiting teacher
7.  Help my daughter and be an example to my grandchildren
8.  Reach out to my family members and to those in Neal's family
9.  Work on family history
10. Pursue some hobbies such as quilting and reading and music
11. Take care of my home and yard

I miss my husband.  I miss Julia.  I miss the family members I seldom see.  But I can make my place on this earth be a happy, peaceful place.  I can be a friend to others.  I can seek to grow spiritually.  Mostly I need to be more productive and not just mark the days off on the calendar.

Lesson Learned?

Last Sunday someone asked if I would do her a favor and I made the mistake of agreeing before I knew the details and the timeline.  But since I had said yes I postponed some other responsibilities and devoted three days to her sewing project.   Normally that wouldn't be a problem but I've had some back problems and get frequent muscles spasms if I sit too long at the sewing machine.  By today my back was quite sore.
I finished the project about the same time that she sent a text telling me that whenever it was ready she would come and pick it up.  It felt like she was tapping her foot waiting for me to finish even though they weren't needed until next week.
The 24 items turned out quite nice and look good.  The recipient only glanced at them before saying, "Thanks."  That was it, no expression of gratitude for getting them done early, no "I owe you," or anything else.  Just some comment about not knowing what to do with all the leftover supplies I hadn't used.  
I recognize that a person who doesn't sew probably doesn't realize the amount of work that goes into a project of that size but I really expected a little more than a brief thanks.  

What have I learned?  I believe I'm done with "doing favors" related to that group.  I have enough responsibilities right now without saying yes to extras, especially when I don't feel appreciated.  I realize that's petty of me but really expected more than a casual thanks while walking out the door. 
Years ago when my daughters were little and I was a single mom with a full-time job and a part-time evening job I put "SAY NO" stickers by the telephone and other places as a reminder that I didn't have to do everything for everyone.  I have a sticker on one telephone now but I need to find a way to remind myself of my priorities and focus on that.