I don’t
believe in injustice I don’t
believe in tragedy I tried to bleed
out once it doesn’t work for
me I figure I made my bed I may as well lie in it coz at times I was selfish but I was never deliberately cruel I can live with that coz I’m the one who makes the rules I got my own way of living and my own identity I gave birth to myself and I did it naturally
another
armageddon rains down on my head it’s
the end of the fucking world as far
as I can tell I want to scream but I’m stifled by the shock of it my agony is muted and I can hardly breathe the past lives on in my head there is grief etched into my bones I can’t take any more of this I feel I’m near the end
this is no mere
nightmare this is reality a whole body experience an integral human event of apocalyptic proportions I’m trying you can believe that I’m trying but it’s hard to live and love while you’re bracing yourself for impact this
strange new disease has me on my knees
post-traumatic stress will be the death of me
good morning suckers and how is your head today? me, I’ve no grounds for complaint flashbacks not withstanding this remission business is a blast I think I found my balance the mundane seems less ordinary I got my music got my books got no money what else is new? I no longer hear the thunder I am not lightning struck I don’t suffer the manic maelstrom and I don’t give a fuck
another
nothing day best get my
prescription filled every now and
then I get the urge to fall off the
wagon some will say I jumped I’ll
maintain I was pushed so
don’t touch me now I
don’t know where I’ve been I’m just flirting with reality living the fucking dream
where’s my
head at? do I even care? maybe if I strangle every impulse remain impossibly still it’ll come to me eventually solid
state delivery meaning in the here and
now I could be the prototype of the
brand new being I could grow myself a soul
night after
night I’m barely scraping by I’m just biding my time treading water till my ship comes in I don’t want to change the world I only want to change my life children of fortune lead blessed existences they’ve never gone hungry a day in their lives me, I’m starving for a glimmer of light my cup’s half empty so kindly top me up I could do with an even break I just need a little luck
there are no
free rides in this shit show but it’s the only game in town they promised us a carnival but this life is an atrocity it’s one filthy chore after another you couldn’t sell tickets for this it has to be meted out blow by bloody blow
some things
just are the duality of nature human nature godly nature all that is light and dark love and hate life and death juxtaposed in fungal shades of rot and
decay the significance of all that escapes
me now something’s changed I don’t know how but I’m not the man I used to be
I’m crashing
out here so pick me up on your way
down I intend to get my money’s
worth though I don’t possess a dime I’m only talking trash coz I’ve had a few I have high friends in low places and I know where I am I’m exactly nowhere it’s difficult now but I’ll make it somehow though I’ll never taste innocence again
I got the
thirst something chronic but that’s
just the symptom it’s not the
disease booze loves me it loosens the bindings that conceal my pain it soothes my soul while it numbs my brain I’m
reaching for oblivion so let me breathe fire I need to imbibe something impure I need a drink like I need a friend yeah, I need a drink like a hole in the head…
I’m trying to
make sense of my pain does that
mean I’m crazy? should I have turned
the other cheek? dare I demand
recompense? I was suddenly swiped by
a bus my barely human remains slickened the street my brain dashed on the pavement leaking out my dreams
sick thoughts
can devour a body I’m crawling
through shadows I need a little
sunlight maybe I’ll take a walk perhaps I’ll just rot here in my
room don’t take me to the
hospital I have friends there who
won’t seek remedies they got a bag
with my name on it
don’t mind
me I am just a fool lost in the vacuum of the universe mine is the madness of spirit that leaps into the abyss without a single care in the world I fell and kept on falling there’s no centre to my existence I’m a leper and an outcast I may have lost my bearings but I might be heading home
you got your story and I have mine people have their plans one vile task after another but don’t trust me my pants are on fire you may seek a meaning I couldn’t possibly comment I’m just happy to be here alive and in the moment truth means nothing to me I’ve seen it all before I got the slow burn rapture I’m happy all the time don’t get me wrong my darkness serves a purpose redemption through chaos that there is the basis of my mythology
I loved the
man queer enough for you? I don’t care what you think my heart is an open book I know what is written there this is a song of love for someone ever young he was original an individual and I miss him now perhaps more than ever my love is a river he was the ocean the best of friends my lover, my brother he’ll shine on forever in memory
maybe I have
a pornographic mindset perhaps just a
lonely heart I am my own master and I
have tasted freedom I’ve been told I
was greedy but how much is too
much? how much is too little? I think I’ve had my share some say that’s quite enough but let me tell you it can never be enough things were different for me you have to allow for that I
was doing my favourite thing and
paying dearly for the pleasure for I
embraced the world and every sinner
in it
