A Long List To Begin 2013

I'm constantly coming up with goals for myself and my family. Some people (esp. husband) say I have unrealistic expectations and I set my standards way too high; I know they're right. But that won't stop me from setting some resolutions, especially this time of year. The satisfaction of crossing things off that list of goals is just too satisfying.

Plus, I love looking back and comparing how I wanted things to be with how they actually turned out. It's pretty much a guarantee that I couldn't have planned for a life as good as the one I end up with. Even when things get crazy hard, I'm learning and becoming a better person.

Organization goals:
-have a place for everything even if that means getting rid of stuff (rephrase: that DEFINITELY means getting rid of stuff)
-put things away right after they are used
-prepare at night for the next day
-make a side-of-fridge wooden canned food storage thingy
-make something to store Evie's hair accessories

Photography goals:
-launch a portfolio website
-blog my past work
-create new pricing which includes mini sessions
-save for 35mm 1.4 or 24-70mm
-learn more about lightroom
-offer one on one mentoring sessions for illustrator, photoshop and lightroom

Family Goals:
-have a family night once a week
-have a date night every week (even if it's a stay home date)
-consciously spend at least 15 minutes a day playing with E (maybe switch between activities she wants and ones I want to show her)
-learn how to parent a highly sensitive child
-learn more about my husband by asking new questions

Personal goals
-do not criticize myself or others
-do not complain
-see the good in life and each one of my family members
-make new friends and get to know current ones better
-be grateful
-be ME
-do more of what I love
-let go of the past
-make time for myself

Believe it or not, I have even more goals than this, but they are just for my eyes. By the end of 2013 I hope to have a stronger marriage, be a little better mother, have greater self love and peace, and be more positive over all.

Finding Importance In The Name I Carry

Tonight I finally learned the importance of upholding your family name. That concept has always bothered me a bit, why should what *I* do matter? Who cares about the name of the family, it should be about individual people! But now I realize how much went into ME. I wouldn't be here without the parent's whose name I carry, or without my grandparents who also reside in me.

My grandfather's memorial service was held in the La Habra LDS building where all his prodigy attended. We enjoyed stories about papa and watched a slide show. In it were many photos of him, but also a live interview that had me laughing at what a character he is. I was overcome with love for him and gratitude that I have been blessed to be his descendant. He was a strong man in the gospel and taught his children to love The Lord. He raised five children on his own, all of whom remained faithful followers of Christ. So far each of his grandsons have served full time missions (9 down, 4 to go). I am amazed at what one person has left behind and I am so proud to be his granddaughter. The love I feel for him and my entire family inspires me to live in a way that would uphold our name and allow others to know what a great man I come from. I hope to teach my children this deep love and pride for family so that they, in turn, will be proud of their names.

To Me You Are Perfect

On The Eve Of Christmas Eve

Although you hadn't fully worked out the logistics in your mind, you were sure that Santa had given this candy cane to you. Ok, so really Aunt Karlee did, but Santa gave it to her! The look on your face was priceless when you realized that you had already received your Christmas wish.

Writing to Remember

I never want to forget how good it feels to snuggle a sleeping 2 1/2 month old baby. As I hold her, tummy to tummy, I'm wondering how she could already be big enough to reach her legs halfway down my thighs. She smells so fresh from bath time; her fluffy hair is wonderful to nuzzle into. I love how her cubby tummy pancakes against mine. Every time she squirms there is a tiny grunt or squeak. My heart is bursting with love for her, and gratitude to my lord for letting me be her mother.