Uhhhhhhhhhhhh
I am sick. Very sick. Food poisoning sick. It is really very, very disgusting and unpleasant. Obviously. It's 4:30 in the morning. I've been puking every hour on the hour, so right now I should be good for another 30 minutes. Lovely. I can't even remember the last time I threw up. It's been years. This is gross. I'm unhappy right now. And tired. But I can't sleep because my stomach hurts and I know something bad is going to happen shortly, so I can't fall asleep. I'm exhausted. Ugh. Happy new year to me, and our brand-new toilet. Just thought I'd break it in, I guess.

Sorry for the disgusting details. It's 4:30am and I want to whine to someone and be comforted. Everyone is asleep, so all I have left is you, internet. Now go fetch me a glass of gingerale and tell me it's going to be ok soon....

Can't help it... I still love Christmas
Aw. Santa was very good to me this year. I had a very, very nice Christmas. First, because Christmas isn't about the *stuff*, I got to see lots of my favorite people. I had dinner with my dad and his family, went to Christmas Eve services with my mom at my childhood church where I haven't been in years, had Christmas morning breakfast and present-opening with Todd's family, and then had big fun friend party that night with lots of old and new friends and one very hyper 6-year-old and a lot of rum balls. The whole weekend was very nice.

And...I got me some new tires for my car and new CFM boots and a leather backpack and board games and some books and DVD's and tons of Burt's Bees stuff and striped socks and bath stuff and so much other stuff. I think it might have been the biggest Christmas haul since I was a kid. Hee. I love Christmas.

I know everyone doesn't love Christmas as much as I do. I do hope you all had a nice weekend, though... and got to see friends and family with minimal stress and headaches. Or at least a nap. We all need more naps.

@*#&!@!*
Dude. Moving me sucks. After I told everyone I was moving, almost everyone, including my mom, laughed and asked if Todd knew how much stuff I had. Grr. I was offended. I pledged to throw things away. I said "oh, come on... it's not that bad..."

It's that bad. It's really, really that bad. How do I have so much stuff? I really like the idea of just having the stuff that I really need and I few things that I really just like and want to have around. But when I look at all of my things individually, I don't want to get rid of them. Blargh. I like my stuff. Yes, I have thrown some things away. I know I"m going to have to throw more things away. It's just kind of depressing to look at all of my stuff and not know where it's going to go. I feel like I'm imposing all of my stuff on this poor unsuspecting person who didn't know what he was getting into. Blargh.

On the other hand, in order to accommodate all of my stuff, we've had to clean the apartment and organize things and get rid of things left behind when his brother lived here, and... those things are all good. The bathroom has probably never been so clean. It's been mopped. And scrubbed on hands and knees like Cinderella. With orange-powered cleaning products. Everything is really starting to look nice...if you can see beyond the boxes and stacks and piles.

Must. Throw. Things. Away.

Please work, oh bestest blogger thing....
So, I've been having a lot of trouble with the blogger in the last few weeks. I've been trying to post, really I have. Please accept my apologies. I know you've been heartbroken. ;)

Anyway, so... a few days ago I tried to post something about how I've been doing an excellent job of procrastinating, in true pre-holiday style by buying and wrapping presents, making lists of things I want, things I want to buy others, shopping lists, party lists, food lists, etc. It's been quite fun. My other big distraction has been nesting. In someone else's house. Todd and I are having a big Christmas party at his house, and we've been shopping and decorating and buying new furniture and buying lots of other things and framing photos and cleaning and... and it's not my house but I feel very comfortable here and I haven't slept at home in 2 months, and I was going to write about how weird it feels to be nesting in someone else's house, because as comfortable as I feel here, it's not my place, and I still feel like I have to abide by his way of doing things most of the time, and I still ask if I want to move something or do something differently, etc, because...it's not my place.

Except now I don't have to write that entry, because... woo... wait for it... I'm officially moving in. Hee! I'm going to live with a boy. And now I have to figure out what on earth to do with all of my stuff. When I told Angie last night at 3am that I was moving in with Todd, she asked to be put on the phone with him, and the first thing she said was "do you have any idea what it's like to move her? Do you really have any idea how much stuff she has?" Great. Get off the phone before he changes his mind, Ang! :) Ay ya! Anyway. So... I couldn't sleep last night because I was excited and thinking about all the stuff I'm going to have to do to move. Cleaning and packing and throwing things away, and making room here for my stuff. I am very excited, though. Not to mention the fact that it's going to save me a buttload of money, of which I have very little. It's all good.

hee. I'll email you all (um, some of you) my new address. hee hee. Giddy. :)

Pope says....
It's been so long since I've posted that I don't even know if anyone is still checking. Sorry. Dur. I don't even have an excuse. Just, same old business, nothing exciting to report on, no motivation to find something worthwhile to write about. Couple of weeks of school left, need a giant nap, same old same old. Todd's birthday is tomorrow, and we're having First Dinner with his fam, and Second dinner with my fam, and Pie with the friend-fam. And then we sleep for a million years in a carbturkey coma. Todd is in the kitchen right now making "headlines" with the Onion magnetic kit that I gave him for his birthday. The first headline he made said "Earth explodes, Pope "G-ddamn!"

Happy Thanksgiving. Don't explode.

Stuff and... stuff
hi. I was doing alright with the GBC. I was feeling the pressure, but also staying on top of it. But then I couldn't quite follow through with the last one. Especially after reading Lauren's, which kicked way more fantasy party ass than anything I could have come up with. Except, I think I would have invited Jon Stewart, because frankly... I am in love with him. But, then he would have ended up talking to Gloria Steinem and I would have been jealous at how good she looks in leather pants, and, well.... yeah. So... moving right along.

Speaking of old people's asses... Todd and I went to dinner with his brother and his fiance last night. They love this german restaurant that, well, *they* love this restaurant. But, it was Ross's birthday, so you can't really argue when he says he wants to go there. Even though they went Friday night, too. Anyway...Apparently Saturday night is Old People Dancing Night, and our table was right on the dance floor. We were there for about 3 hours, and the Old People never sat down. They switched out their partners, but they never sat down. They were all dressed up in their dancing shoes, the old men were wearing suits and ties, the old women were either wearing sparkly red dresses or bright pink or too-tight animal prints. There were a bunch of women dancing together, and I was quite impressed with how well some of the women could lead. I get all confused when I try to reverse the steps in my head to lead. Anyway. But they were having So Much Fun. They were laughing and stomping their feet and twirling all around and spinning like there was no tomorrow. I seriously hope I have that much spirit when I'm that old. They made me smile all night.

Let's see... what else? There's a lot of drama going on at school, but I probably shouldn't discuss that here. Let's just all cross our fingers and hope that it doesn't affect my life in any substantial way. Unless it's good. Substantially good change is always accepted.

I'm getting very distracted from my studies by the upcoming holidays. I keep finding ways to put off my dissertation proposal by making lists of gifts to buy, and lists of things I want, and lists of things I want to do and places to go and cards to send and food to cook, etc, etc, etc. I become a comuplsive list-maker when I'm putting off a really big project.

I need a haircut. I feel like I've never had a *really good* haircut in my entire life. It all went downhill when my mom made me cut my hair in third grade. It's never been quite the same since. My last haircut was in April. That is sad.

ok... I'm off to Lanky tonight. I'm going to a conference on Monday and Tuesday, and I get to stay in my mom's new place tonight. I'm very excited about that... mostly because it means she doesn't have live where she was before. Which is a long dramatic story that I'm happy to see come to an end. No more MJJ!

GBC Week 3: Something political
Sigh. That's all I have to say about the horror of Tuesday.

In the wake of the election disaster, I went downtown yesterday and took in some old-timey patriotic stuff...we did the South Street shopping thing, and then hit Franklin's home/museum/post office. Then we walked over and took a tour of the Besty Ross house, walked down Elfreth's Alley (America's oldest residential street, and seriously the cutest place to live ever), went into Christ Church (established 1695, church of George and Martha Washington, Ben Franklin, Besty Ross, etc), and walked to the Christ Church burial ground, which was already closed, but we could see Franklin's tomb through the fence. Walking around the city being all touristy kind of helped me forget about the reality of the current state of politics. At least for a little while.

And finally.... I don't know. I am deeply saddened by the results of the election. That is honestly my over-arching emotional response to the results. I wasn't surprised. I didn't really believe we could win. Of course I hoped... but I didn't believe. There is just entirely too much Midwest to believe that anything else could have happened. The "right" campaigned on religious morality and patriotism, and how can you argue with that? Oh, um... yeah. You can argue the definition of moral. And patriotic. Sigh. I'm not angry about the results. I am sad that as a country, we (they) chose a path that has significant potential to move us backward toward a more restrictive, less tolerant, less understanding society. It felt, for a short while, that progress was being made toward a more enlightened, socially educated, tolerant society, and now the rug was suddenly yanked out from under us. And *that* is what makes me sad. It feels like all the progress we have made was just yanked away, and we have to start from scratch.

At any rate... I also want to say that over the last 7 months I have tried really hard to put aside my automatic thoughts about politics... the judgey, soap-boxy defensive automatic thoughts... and really try to hear the other side. And I have to admit that some of it makes sense. *Some* of it. But even after listening to the intelligent arguments of someone who has thought about it and made informed decisions that can be backed up with facts and figures....it still breaks my heart to think about the potential harm that could result from the decisions made on Tuesday. I wish it was possible to take the parts from each side that I agree with and put them together to form something that makes sense and would actually work. But the world doesn't work that way, and even if I agree with some of the economic policies or specific legislation... the overall effect is much more damaging to the kind of world I want to live in that I could never buy into it as a whole. So...sigh. One big giant "At least I listened and tried to understand and I respect your right to have a different opinion and I will try really hard to work together with everyone who believes differently to try to make this as good as it can possibly be but please don't let it be as bad as I'm imagining it could be" Sigh.

And as Lewis Black just said on the Da1ly Show- America is a place where everyone can think what they want, as long as it doesn't make Midwesterners feel icky.

GBC Week 2: Worst Segue Ever
The only real story I could think about as being the "worst something ever" is my "Worst Oil Change Ever" story, but seeing as how that all happened in the last month, I don't think I need to repeat that.

However. Part of the reason that the Worst Oil Change Ever was so traumatic was that it happened at the exact same time that I was struggling with financial aid, trying to get an educational loan and waiting for my stafford refund check to come in the mail. Basically, I was screwed, and it kept getting worse and worse.

The other night I was reading Ann Lamott's Traveling Mercies, and I read this paragraph: (a woman was talking to a man on a bus)
It turned out that this man worked for the Dalai Lama. And he said - gently - that they believe when a lot of things start going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born - and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible.

Mmm..... :)

Plea for help?
I don't do this very often, but.... Darren is in desperate need for a home for his cat. If you scroll halfway down his page you can see an incredibly adorable picture of Rupert asleep on the floor with Cindi, who is unfortunately allergic to Rupert. Darren has been given one week to find a home for Rupert. All of the shelters are full, and he hasn't been able to find a friend to take him. The alternative is to put him to down, which will break Darren's heart. Anyway...please. If you live in this area, please think about it, ask your neighbors and friends, etc. Thanks....

GBC: Week One, Letter to my 13-year-old self:

Dear me,

Ok. Hi, me. This was not an easy letter to write, because of the sheer amount of embarrassing material that could potentially be included. And you could consider a second full-time job as an Embarrassment-Avoider. Perhaps that’s where we shall start.

Dude. Get over it. It’s not even that you do stupid things. You avoid potentially good things because you’re afraid of the potentially embarrassing consequences. And you know what? You’re about to miss out on a bunch of stuff because of that. The things you miss may not even be that great, but still… you never know. Don’t let it keep you from trying anything.

Also… you’re about the make some really bad choices. Someone is going to come into your life and tell you a lot of things you desperately want to hear, and its going to be very compelling and you will get swept up in it all. In the end, it’s going to suck, and it’s going to suck for a really long time, but I’m not worried about it because I know that a lot of really good people will come into your life and then you’ll be able to see what has *really* been missing in your life, and everything will be different from that point on.

Oh, and those people? Yeah. They’re going to be around for a very long time. This is a good thing. Treat them very well, because they will do the same for you for years to come. Also, they know all of the embarrassing things that somehow slipped under the radar, and if you don’t treat them well, who knows what they’ll do with all that information. Also, you’re going to go through some really challenging emotional and financial difficulties, and they’re going to help you out. A lot. They won’t be able to solve anything for you, but they’ll help you paddle when you get tired so that eventually you’ll be able to pick things up again, and you’ll be stronger because of that. Also, they will send you flowers and make casseroles to put in your freezer and read you bedtime stories. And there will be lots of talking about monkeys, for some reason. Just go with that one.

Speaking of laughing. Once you wade through the muck of junior high and 9th grade (that will be the bad. I won’t lie to you. Hang in there) everything changes. You will find this awesome group of people, and they’re kind of quirky, and sometimes people will make fun of you, but that’s ok, because for the most part, you will be oblivious to this. Also, 15 years from now? You’re having an awesome life and those people are still living in the big L and they will look embarrassed when you run into them in the grocery store at holidays. It all works out in the end.

And then you get to go to college. Your freshman year will sort of mimic your freshman year of high school, unfortunately. Both start off horribly and you will be miserable, and then lots of things will change and you will come into your own. You will meet this girl who you won’t like at first, but eventually she will be able to make you laugh until tears stream down your cheeks and you’re rolling on the floor gasping for breath. You will have a challenging relationship with her for awhile, but when it’s good, it’s really good and the laughter will make all of the other stuff worth it in the end.

Actually, you will have a lot of challenging relationships, with men and women and bosses and coworkers and fellow students. Stick to your guns; you know when you’re right. Learn from your mistakes. That one is hard for you sometimes because you always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes you give them too much benefit and not enough doubt. I don’t think this is a bad game plan overall, but it will cause you a lot of heartache. You will eventually learn the lesson in all of that. I won’t tell you what it is now, because you will learn some other important lessons in the process. Each time it will get easier, though every time is different. You will learn something important from each of those experiences. You will eventually learn to let go of some things that you held onto for a very long time. It’s hard to let go of those things, but it’s for the best because they’re not good for you. Other things you will have to let go of even though you don’t want to. Sometimes you won’t be given a choice. Some things you couldn’t let go of even if you tried, but that’s ok because you’re not trying. You will learn from all of these experiences. Some of them will be painful. Some of them will be liberating. Some will be both. You will recover more quickly than you expect, but you will always hold onto a part of each of your experiences and it will shape who you become. And you will like who you become.

PS. Someday you will be sitting in A Very Brady Kitchen with a can of EZCheez and some Rtz crackers. Do not... I repeat, do not...spell out anyone's name on the crackers with the "cheez". Step...away...from the EZCheez.

D@mnit
I'm sorry. I truly despise the GBC. It stresses me out. It's too much pressure, even in it's new-and-improved gentleness. I mean, look. It's only Monday and I'm already behind. Sheesh. AND, I don't have time to search for random links because I had to spend the night in the garage, again, trying to nurse my car back to health (eg, pouring money into the great void). So... just go with me here, and don't give me crap if I can't keep up with the joneses and their crazy GBCing.

Let's see....first... I think one of the worst things you can hear someone say is "I told you so." On the other hand, hearing that you were right can be very sweet. Sweet in the "HA! I told you so!" kind of way. ;) [find the link at your own risk]

So, it's officially autumn now. I LOVE fall. Fall. Fall fall fall. I love everything about it. I love the cold, I love the leaves- on the ground and in the trees, I love the sweaters, I LOVE the smell of fireplaces burning. If you could bottle that...mm. I love fall foods. I made a giant pot of butternut squash and ginger soup this weekend. And I made a big bowl of baked apples with cinnamon and sugar and raisins and apple cider and it got all gooey and hot and I poured it over vanilla ice cream... I love fall. I love (ooh, wait for it, because it took a couple of years to come back to me....) watching marching bands compete. I love fuzzy socks. And here's where it gets mushy. Fall feels like falling in love. You can sort of see it coming in the distance, but then one day it just almost knocks you over. Your senses are more acute. Everything seems perfect. Everything tastes better, smells better, feels better, sounds better. Crunchy leaves, warm foods, fuzzy sweaters, fireplace smells. I don't know which came first- falling in love in the fall, or falling in love *with* fall, but now the two seem intertwined and it can stay that way.

Also a sign of fall...the Craft Show. I spied all of my favorite craft show carnies, and if they had websites I'd link them. These sculptors were new. Oh, and these people were there, too, with their crazy good maple syrup- not the kind you get in the grocery store. The kind you drizzle over sweet potatoes or vanilla ice cream or yogurt or *anything* and it makes you melt into a puddle on the floor it's so good.

Ok... I need to go study for a midterm exam. Or go to sleep. 5am was harsh this morning- it was freezing AND Todd had to jump start my car. I guess I wasn't too tired to dig up some links, though...enjoy. I hear a letter to my 13-year old self is next in line....

New JibJab
Not quite as good as the first one, but still worth watching.

Fortune Cookie Says:
It is the empty space within the bowl that makes it useful .

I'm trying to adapt this to my current financial situation... and I can't quite figure it out. My car is spending the night at the Spa tonight, having an overly-indulgent $1100 engine mount overhaul, as it apparently did not appreciate being bathed in oil for 5 days earlier in the week. One would think that the $700 brand-new oil pan would have satisfied its materialistic needs, but apparently my car is having a princess-moment. Ugh. I am now faced with the task of gathering enough evidence to present to the garage in Lancaster to try to get them to pay for my repairs. Raise your hand if you think that will work. (ha). Oh, the sarcasm. Let's see.... what could the usefulness be in this situation? So far, the only thing I can think of is that 30 years from now I'll be able to look back on this period of my life and chuckle. (ahem).

Doh
I wrote this big entry and then.... it disappeared and I hadn't copied it first. Freakin' internet. Dur.

So. Ugh. I don't even remember half of what I wrote. I guess I'll opt for the highlights version:

1) Sorry it's been so long?
2) Todd came back from Sweden last weekend. This is probably related to the lack of blogging last week. :)
3)We went to the Melting Pot on Saturday to celebrate the 6 months. Whoo!
4) I still have not received my financial aid for this semester. Boo!
5) I have had car problems out the wazoo for the past week. And my mom kicks sleazy garage-owner butt by getting me some of my money back.
6) But then this morning I had to put out $700 more to fix something that I think the mechanics last week broke. So... perhaps my mom can go kick more butt and get them to reimburse that money. We'll see. I was an angry monkey when I discovered my car had ZERO oil in it last night. Freaking bad mechanic cracked my oil pan when they changed me oil. $700. Seven. Hundred.
7) I made a big decision to delay applying to internship until next year so that I will have all next year to focus entirely on my dissertation. This adds a year to my little journey here, but ultimately will lead to a more sane lifestyle and a (hopefully) much better dissertation.
8) The last time I had to make a big decision like that, everyone said "do it (accelerate a year)- we won't let you fall." And in the last few weeks, I've seen that sentiment put into action in ways I can't thank you for enough. So....thank you? THANK YOU!? See? Not enough. :) Mwah.

What is that?
It's an abdominal muscle! I can feel my abs! I LOVE pilates! I've also been taking this hour-long abs class once a week with the uber-intense spinning woman. It's awesome. I can't quite manage to get the biceps, though... I do the bicep and tricep machines at the gym 3 times a week, but so far it just seems to be giving me more defined deltoids, which I can't really explain. I don't know. Whatever. I guess it's just nice to see a difference in *something*. It helps me keep the motivation to keep going on a regular basis.

Anyway, so.... T's coming home tomorrow :), and I'm very excited to tell him about my new-found muscle group. Is that weird? "Hey- feel my abs!" Yeah, maybe a little weird. I'm just very excited. Hee hee. :)

Lions and elephants and presidents, oh my!
Hi. Go read this book. In the last several years, every book I've read for fun was recommended by and borrowed from someone who had time for such things like discovering books for fun. And I've liked pretty much everything that I've borrowed. And of course, once again I've borrowed this wonderful book from someone else, but it was none of you, so I get to tell you about it! Mwah ha ha! Ok. I'm tired and I have to get up for work in 6 hours, so... just go read the reviews on amazon and then find someone to borrow it from. Yes, it's similar to Kavalier and Clay. But, it has magicians and prohibition and brothels and presidents and secrets and you should go read it now. I'm going to bed. Which I can do, now that I've finished it. But you haven't. Go. Read. For fun.

Fine
I admit it. I miss him. Blech. He keeps emailing me these awesome pictures from Sweden and I'm totally envious. It's going to be at least 2 more years before I can take a vacation like that. Bleh.

Anyway... for your Monday-morning ease-back-to-work:
What if...

Agh. Everything's different
Yargh. Todd left on Friday for a 16-day trip to Sweden. On Friday night I wandered around my long-neglected apartment not knowing what to do with myself. Eventually I settled into the Friday-night routine of a couple of years ago, when I spent many Friday nights at home alone (voluntarily and quite happily). I watched stand-up comedy on Comedy Central, did laundry, and started a huge organizational project that I've put off for the last 6 months. Seriously, getting organized and throwing away all the papers that I didn't need to keep was such a good feeling. I hauled bags and bags out to the trash and recycling bins. It took the whole weekend, but now it's done and I don't feel like I have this *thing* hanging over my head anymore. And I'm also in a "use it or throw it out" mood. I've been furiously using up the half-empty bottles of shower stuff, partially-burned candles, random food items in the cabinets, etc. It's great. I would *love* to get down to owning only the things I really want and need.

Another change- I started my externship today. Orientation was dreadfully dull and partly irrelevant to my (unpaid) "job". Tomorrow is my first actual clinical day on my unit. My first rotation is on the women's trauma unit, but I'm itching to get on the eating disorder unit as soon as possible. My supervisor seems wonderful, so far. After spending the last 8 weeks not having to get up at any certain time, though....I'm not looking forward to the early mornings this is going to require. Perhaps it will spur me to get on the Todd-and-Gwen 5:20am routine. I sincerely doubt it, though. I think I'm just going to be tired and cranky in the mornings, and take up coffee-drinking again. We stopped at Dunkin on the way in this morning and got iced coffees... mm.... so good.

So... yeah. I thought this semester was going to be so much easier than anything I did last year, because I only have 2 classes instead of 4, but... yeah, not so much. I have to apply for internships by mid-november, and it's a huge process (it's a matching process like med students go through, with a national search, etc), AND I have to complete my dissertation proposal by the end of the semester. Don't ask me how this is different from my concept paper of spring semester, but it is. We're supposed to be working on it for a minimum of 15 hours a week. Sure. Between my 3-day-a-week externship, my other class, work, and having an actual life... ay ya. This has the potential to be much worse than last semester.

Ah, and I got good news from Sweden today, via email...apparently no one has managed to sleep with a Swed1sh crown pr1ncess yet. Although, word has it that 100 stunning women pass them every day, making them all want to move to Sweden. Fantastic. Ugh. Men.

;)

Hey, look over there
I, um, finally updated my sidebar. Sorry. I just got this new Kris Delmhorst CD in the mail courtesy of fabulous Kelly.
I'd open up for anyone. you're the only one who closes me, because I want to be the brightest thing you've ever seen... Good stuff.

So... have you ever had an experience where you're just like, oh, I don't know... standing at the kitchen counter mixing up a bowl of peanut sauce (for example), and all of a sudden you have this epiphany about something, and suddenly everything becomes very clear and makes so much sense you don't understand how you could have missed it before?

Yeah....

Jump through the hoop!
I forgot to tell you....

I passed comps. Whee!

Before there was a COUNTRY!
I just had the best weekend. Mmm.... so good. Todd and I went to Boston for a long weekend... we started out Thursday night and got home late Monday. The whole thing was good, so here are some highlights:

1. I think this is where we went for stand-up comedy the first night. Aside from the first sad woman who got *zero* laughs from the audience (seriously, the place was silent) the rest of the show was really good. The main guy, especially. So funny, and freakin nuts. It was great. I've never actually seen live stand-up before, which is unfortunate, because I love it.

2. And then we spent the rest of the night bar-hopping with this crazy girl who was also, well, nuts. It started at the comedy club when she stole one of those velvet ropes that hooks onto things to form lines. Yeah. She stole it and brought it outside and hooked one end on the beltloop of my jeans, and the other end on the beltloop of Pam's jeans, and well, yeah.... that was just the beginning. She also stole a length of chain from the club, which she clipped to her own pants as a belt, and then proceeded to walk through the streets of Boston asking strangers to trade their shirts for her belt. The only taker she got was a guy asking for change outside a store, and after she traded her "belt" for his shirt, she realized she was walking around in a bum's shirt that had a blood stain on the back. She gave her hobo shirt away before we ended up at Ned Devine's, where she proceeded to steal the tassles off the drapery, which she used as her new belt for the rest of the night, and then on the way out, she managed to get a giant inflated palm tree out the emergency exit, which she then carted around the city for the rest of the night, asking everyone she passed to, um, spank her coconuts. It was crazy. She took the thing home in a cab at the end of the night.

3. On Saturday we went hiking at World's End, one of the 30 islands of the Boston Harbor Islands National Recreational Area.

4. On Sunday we went to Salem for the day. Salem is kind of like Lancaster in the way they took what made their town "famous" and distorted it in a weird way to make it a tourist attraction. I mean...the logos on everything in Salem have witches in big black hats riding broomsticks, which, um, isn't really what the witch trials were about, but, um, yeah. Ok. If you overlook that little piece, the rest of the town is pretty cool. We went to the House of the Seven Gables and Nathaniel Hawthorne's birthplace. We walked around the streets and looked at the Georgian and Federalist architecture.

5. And then we had the best meal I can remember, well... ever. Baked stuffed lobster... omg. I'm drooling just remembering it. Todd and I both got the same thing. It was so good. I can't even describe how good it was. Todd didn't even eat his mashed potatoes because the rest of the food was so good, and mashed potatoes are his all-time favorite food. The lobster was split and baked with a crabmeat, shrimp and scallop stuffing. That stuff was so good that I almost didn't eat the lobster tail. Yes, that's right, the stuff *inside* the lobster was so good you couldn't get to the lobster. I think my eyes are going to start watering thinking about it. seriously. Drive 6 hours to Salem just to eat the baked stuffed lobster. You'll thank me later.

6. Finally, on Monday we went back to the north end and walked to the USS Constitution and Mike's for cannoli.

7. Oh, and we went to the Booksmith, where I would spend a lot of money if I had it, and the Paris Creperie which unfortunately doesn't have a website. But then again, maybe that's a good thing, so you don't drool on your keyboard. And Matt Murphy's Pub. Um, yeah.... basically, we ate our way through Boston.

And it was good.

"Alleged" my arse
Heh. I finally caught one of the rogue mice last night. The little bastards have eluded the peanut butter-filled traps for 2 weeks. And reminiscent of the Scary Bird Help Me trauma of 1999, I was the only person who saw said mice. I saw one in the kitchen 2 weeks ago, and then Tuesday night I got up in the night to go to the bathroom, and mid-pee I saw a mouse run across the bathroom and squeese itself under the door, at which point I yelled "Oh my god", (finished peeing), and ran out of the bathroom, where I found Todd laughing because he thought I was yelling because my bruised butt (explanation in previous post) makes trips to the bathroom unpleasant. And when I explained the mouse sighting, he asked me where it went, and of course I didn't know, because, umm, the bathroom door was closed. I have no idea where it went. Anyway. So then I couldn't sleep the rest of the night because I was waiting to hear the sound of the trap in the bathroom... which of course I never heard, or waiting to hear it scurrying around the bedroom, where I was convinced it ran after squeezing under the bathroom door. But with every little rustle I was convinced we were getting close to the inevitable snap. Never happened. So last night, I decided to increase the odds. I put the trap in a better location, and loaded it up with cheese *on top of the peanut butter*.

2am. the trap snapped, and I was officially awake for the rest of the night. I spent the next 3 hours reading on the couch, and watching bad tv until it was time for Todd to wake up and find his morning suprprise. During dinner last night he was mocking me for my sightings of the "alleged" mice. Well, Mr. Smarty Pants had the pleasure of escorting the alleged mouse in an alleged plastic bag to the alleged trash can for it's alleged disposal. And then I reset another trap loaded with the cheese and peanut butter mixture. Hopefully he'll find another alleged prize when he gets home from his alleged job tonight.

Slip Slidin' Away
Ok. Comps are over. I think they went well. Supposedly I will be notified in the mail within 2 weeks. I'm glad they're over. And thank you THANK YOU for all the wonderful support (and *stuff*) that you sent my way. I didn't really expect taking comps to be like Christmas, or my birthday, but a surprise-filled weekend is always fantastic. I found stargazer lillies from all the girls on the doorstep of Todd's house when I got there, and stuff from my amazon wishlist will be coming soon (thanks, kel!) and then Todd took me out to dinner at the William Penn Inn, which was so yummy. I knew he was taking me out somewhere, but he wouldn't tell me where....it was driving me crazy. I love surprises, but knowing there's a surprise makes me nutty. I'm sure I drove him out of his mind by constantly asking him where we were going, and then yelling "no, wait, don't tell me!" Mm... so good, though. The dinner and the surprise. Hee. :) Anyway... thank you, all of you, for being so great in the last couple of weeks. I know I've been out of touch. You're all the best.

And then I fell on my ass yesterday. In the grocery store. Water on the floor. Me on the floor. It was crazy. I didn't see it coming, and it scared the bejeezus out of me. And then I was sitting on the floor looking for the water, because I *know* I didn't just land on my ass for no reason. (For the record, there was definitely water on the floor). :) Anyway. Seriously, though, my butt hurts. When I sit down, when I'm sleeping and turn over, when I walk up the hill to school. Hurts. And it's not like I can go around holding an ice pack to my ass. Ay.

Holy crap
One out of every eight Americans now lives below the poverty line, as the percentage of the US population living in poverty rose for the third consecutive year in 2003, the US Census Bureau reported Thursday.

If you cross your fingers AND your toes....
does crossing your toes negate the action of crossing your fingers? Hm. Anyway... I have to take my comps on Saturday. 8am. You can all cross anything you want to and I'd be most appreciative. I won't even talk about what will happen if I don't pass, because that can't happen. It won't happen. I've been studying for a month and a half. But you can still cross things just in case. It can't hurt, right? 8am. (My second biggest concern right after the whole passing thing, is that I'm going to drink so much coffee that morning that I'm going to have to pee during the exam, and I'm afraid they won't let me out. I wonder if they can do that....)

Anyway. I am going to be so happy when this is over... so, so, sosososo happy. And then, I get to go someplace fun Saturday night! I don't know where we're going, but there's a reservation. I'm so excited! No one has ever made a secret reservation for me before. Hee. It makes me kind of giddy. :)

(Ok. I think you could even get started on the crossing things now, if you wanted.)

85% of unmarried men over 65....
So, I have comps on Saturday. I've been studying my butt off for the last month. Yesterday, I was reviewing my lifespan development notes, and I read that 40% of married women over 65 report being sexually active, while only 4% of unmarried women over 65 report the same. However (here's the kicker) a whopping 85% of *unmarried* elderly men report being sexually active, which is higher than the number of married elderly men. And before you get all up on your high horse, I'm not saying anything else about this. I am not trying to cause controversy or get people arguing the politics of Vi@gra. I'm just saying. And asking. *Who* are these elderly unmarried men hooking up with?? Good for them (seriously), but... I mean.... who? And how are they finding interesting other parties? I don't know. Gives you something to look forward to though, no? :)

Mahna Mahna!
Top 5 Things that are better than continuing that last conversation:
5. There are only 8 more days until comps!
4. I get to go to the beach 4 weekends in a row!
3. I still have health insurance!
2. Um... anything else you want to talk about!
1. I was in Toys R Us yesterday, and the Mahna Mahna song was playing.
Kermit: "Hello?... Just a second... It's for you..."
(from the other end of the phone line): Mahna Mahna!

With a grain of salt
This site claims to be "the nation's leading watchdog of manipulative political rhetoric," their catch-phrase being, "countering rhetoric with reason." Sounds good, right? They also claim that the site is a "non-partisan endeavor dedicated to debunking spin from both sides of the aisle." But (were you waiting for it?)...both of the main contributors to the site used to work for the dems, so there may be a slight bias... who knows. Anyway, the main guy was on Jon Stewart (pause for collective sigh) the other night and was interesting enough to get me to check out the website.

In other unrelated news... the Olympics. We were watching last night, and they were covering swimming. Mens and womens. They do a profile on some blond woman swimmer. The voice-over starts a profile on her, gives some background facts, and then says "but the real question tonight will be....(dramatic pause....) Which suit will she wear tonight?" WHAT? They would *never* (as in, never ever in a million years ever) say that about a man. WTF? Later in the evening, they were talking about another female swimmer, and they referred to her as "the female Michael Phelps." Again... HEH? Why is that necessary? Why can't she just be whoever she was? See, I don't even know her name now, because I know her as the female Michael Phelps. Have you ever heard a man called the male Mia Hamm, or the male Nadia? it would never happen. (@#& )!(#&)!(#&@ freakin 2004 sports freakin commentators.

P.S. I went to Lancaster this weekend. We went to the Lititz craft show. The Finks Fries truck was there. And then we went to Isaacs. And we drove around the old neighborhood, and hung out with Angie's mom. It was like a crazy 1995 flashback. :)

oh....bah...
Hi. sorry for no blogging. Is terribly boring around here these days. Boy has new job that requires him to commute to NYC every day, which means going to bed at 10pm and getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning. Which, thankfully, I only had to do once before he felt bad enough to get me a key so I can let myself out after sleeping in for a few more hours. hee. :) I was even planning on the early wake-up call to provide an excellent opportunity to look at the meteor shower, but when the alarm went off, I recall rolling over and mumbling "I don't care about the meteors anymore. Have a good day at work" without opening my eyes. Anyway. So... yeah. 10pm bedtime. I feel like I'm in middle school again. It's all good, though, because I have my comprehensive exams (whoo! Comps! Whoo!) in 2 weeks, so it's been All-Study-All-the-Time around here lately. Seriously... today's Friday... the only human being I spoke to today was the woman at the post office (where I was mailing a textbook I sold on ebay. Because I'm po. But hey, someone bought one of my books! Yay ebay!) If I'm lucky, I'll have a phone conversation with someone tonight just so I don't lose my mind. Todd is playing strategy games with the guys tonight, which is good (sort of) for me because it gives me more time to study, but bad (sort of) because I'm going to go out of my mind and possibly pass out from highlighter fumes. Or something. I'm so bored. Please come over and play with me?No. I need to study. Bah. Comps = bad. Enjoying last precious weeks of summer = good. Whee!

I just....
fell in love with this movie. I can't help it. Part of it is that I'm a sap and I love a good chick flick. But mostly... it's just a really good movie. (note to chick-flick avoiders...we started talking to another couple outside the theater, and the man *loved* the movie, and the woman didn't. Not necessarily a chick flick.) I saw the first one last week, which I also loved, and which I would recommend seeing before you see the sequel, although it is completely not necessary... it's just good. I can't remember the last time I saw a movie and wanted to own it. Movies are good... but I've never been the person who has to own them, to watch over and over. But I want these movies. So... good. :) And now I *really* want to go to Europe.

Procrastination Nation
These are fun to send in the mail....

or put on your Car...

or wear around town... old school style.

Or, if you're poor like me, go here to get free stuff.

Right...
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,” Bush said. “They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

Except rabbits are quiet
I...really wish my landlord hadn't moved out. At first I *thought* it would be cool to have this new, young, recently-married couple moving into the apartment below us. But now I see that I was sorely mistaken. Or rather, I hear. All the time. They're like freakin rabbits, except that rabbits are cute and fuzzy and, oh yeah... they're QUIET. Their bedroom is right below mine. They wake me up when I'm sleeping. I can hear them over the television and stereo. The sound comes through the vents in the bathroom. I have to sit it out in the living room. It's driving me insane. Oh, and they hang pictures at 6am and park in what used to be my parking space, and they leave the front door unlocked. I would almost tolerate those other things if they would stop having loud screaming monkey bleep all the bleeping time. And really.... I am very rarely home. I pretty much come home just to do laundry and pay the bills. One would think that the laws of probability (does probability have laws? Pre-calc wasn't my strongest class) would work in my favor. Ahhh!

Anyway. Ugh. Am traumatized.

So... yeah. Todd's new job starts tomorrow. And, coincidentally, my earnest commitment to study for comps, several hours a day. The last few days have been like a fun vacation. We met Shauna in the city and went to the UPenn Museum of Archeology and Antropology. They have a special exhibit on the Royal Tombs of Ur, and they also have mummies. Mummies! Real live (oh, umm...) mummies. I was really excited about the mummies... until I saw them. And then I didn't want to see the mummies anymore. You could see their toes and their mummified cats and... yeah. It was kind of cool, and kind of gross, and eventually the gross won out for me. But still.... mummies!

Today we decided to skip the amusement park (which was more to amuse me than anyone else) because it was supposed to rain, and instead we went to the Brandywine River Museum and Longwood Gardens. I haven't been to Longwood Gardens since our 7th grade field trip. It was nice....butterflies and a hummingbird and lillypads and, oh yeah, flowers. It was muggy and hot, but nice. Oh, and yummy dinner with bread baked in a clay pot and pasta primavera with grilled veggies.... yum!

Do you think they're done yet? Because I'd really like to go back to bed.....

1952
Is it just me, or are the rest of you disturbed by commercials these days, too?

My two new "favorites":

1) Man comes home with flowers, Voice over: What do women really want? And then the ancient Oreck vacuum cleaner guy pipes in with something along the lines of "Women want a lightweight superpowerful vacuum cleaner, like the Oreck Sexism 5000."

2) McD0nald's commercial- a couple on a date walks up to the counter, man orders for himself and his date, independent assertive woman says "no way, dude, I will order for myself", and then thinks "with the dollar menu, I can order for myself."

Hehhhhh???? Right. Because when the woman stays home and vacuums all day for her husband and has to rely on her husband for monetary handouts, she must order from the dollar menu. &#@*&#$@*(@$&(#%&()@*#!0

Anyway. I'm off to see the Orioles play the Red Sox at Camden Yards. Whee!

Baby Fish Mouth
Todd took me to a party at a Russian restaurant in the northeast on Saturday. It started at 9pm, and I wasn't sure if it was dinner, or just a party, or what. His friend said dress was "business casual." Ok, fine.... short skirt and strappy heels.... fine, right? Except that everyone else there was wearing sparkly, mesh (I've never seen so much black mesh in one room) dressy dresses. It was the strangest thing ever. The restaurant doesn't open until 9pm. There was a ton of food, much of it odd fish transformations, and when we left at 1:15am, the main course had not yet been served. As far as I've come with the "trying new foods" thing.... I was way out of my league at this place. Todd was extremely brave and tried every single thing put before him. Mm.... tongue. Mm.... weird white fish thing in fish-flavored jello. Mmm. I drew the line with those things. He did make me try the giant caviar, after which I vowed to make him sleep on the couch that night. It was so disgusting. Mm...giant exploding balls of salty fish juice. And nothing to wash it down with except vodka and cognac. Mm... burning medicinal cognac searing it's way down my throat. Crazy late-night Russian party with crazy Russian dancing and a band on a giant stage with black lights and weird fish products and bottles and bottles of vodka. Whoo. Baby fish mouth.....

Not Fair and Balanced:
Fahrenheit 9/11
 
Fair and Balanced:
Jib Jab 

So.... we finally saw F 9/11 last night. I was a little concerned about the comments coming from the 10-year-old children next to Todd. They have clearly been indoctrinated at an early age in the liberal camp. Which is fine (great?), to a certain degree... except that I don't think they understand the whole thing. Ay ya. Anyway... I don't really have anything new to add to the commentary on this movie...it didn't tell me a lot that I didn't already know, it left out a lot of information that didn't support his point, blah blah. Everyone else in the theater applauded. I found it disturbing. The 13-year old kid beside me kept looking at me to see if I was crying before he allowed himself to do the same. Sigh.

Meet the (other) parents
Vacation is over.   4 days is a good amount of time for a vacation like that.  If you're going on vacation by yourself (or with one or two other people), you can take as much time as you want.  But when you're on vacation with 13 other people, 4 days is just about right.  :)    I was a little bit concerned about subjecting Todd to that many new people, especially since I was essentially taking him on a family vacation.... with someone else's family.  Met the rest of the friends, and friends of friends, and Angie's parents, who are sort of like my second family.  It was all good.  We survived, and had a good time while we were at it.  He kicked my butt at air hockey, I kicked his butt at mini golf, and we both ate more ice cream than I care to admit.  And I got sunburned, of course.  I wish I could take a bath in sunscreen before going outside in the summer.   I don't mind the shiny golden highlights or the freckles that pop out, though.  Those can stay.  :)

Anyway... so... I'm officially off for the rest of the summer.  I have a few clients at the office every week, but aside from that, it's studying for comps and relaxing.  And that's it.  I have to-do lists out the wazoo for things I want to accomplish this summer.  Most of them are errands and busywork projects around the house,  but some of them are purely fun.  6 weeks.  I know it's going to fly.....

 

vaya vaya....a la playa.....
Tomorrow is Beach Day.  Or, first Beach Day.  The start of Beach Days.  I am so excited I could burst.

I just finished what I hope will be the most difficult year of my program.  I accelerated 2 years of classes into 1 so that I can get out as early as possible, and... dude.  Glad it's over.  Really glad I don't have some of those classes left to look forward to.  I'm hoping this coming year will be a piece of cake compared to this past year. Ay ya.
 
So.... yeah.  Beach!   http://www.beach-fun.com/ 
 
Beach!  Beach!  Beach!
 
Almost all of you will be at the beach, too!  I am so excited.  I'm a teeny bit worried about bringing a new someone on someone else's family's family vacation (follow that?), but if he survives this, I think he can probably conquer the world.  Or something.  He said he wanted to go, so... if he gets overwhelmed, he asked for it.  :)
 
I have the next 6 weeks off almost entirely (just a few hours a week at the office).  I have comps at the end of August (f''ing huge important exam), so I will need to study for the rest of the summer, but....other than that... whole... summer.... off.   Todd almost had the rest of the summer off, too, which would have been super fun, but he might have perhaps gotten a job that starts at the beginning of August.  Ah well.
 
Beach!  Beach!
 
Did I mention I was excited?  I made banana bread to bring to the house for breakfast, and we're going to make this awesome Trader Joe's secret recipe coconut-jasmine rice-mango sauce-dried fruit-mix it all up-thing (yum!) and Kelly's going to teach Todd how to pick crabs, and I'm going to sit on the beach and re-read Harry P0tter and play in the ocean all day and... and....and.
 
Ok. Must go pack.  Boy will be here soon to pick me up for family birthday dinner goodness.  I'm on summer vacation hurrah!  Whoo hoo!

In the red?
Here's a pretty little map that shows you how your senators voted yesterday on the Federal Marriage Amendment. Which, thankfully, didn't pass. No thanks to my own lovely senators....

Veggies and yogurt and water, oh my!
Or... 6 cashews and a Blow-Pop
Yeah, so... it's been an interesting food week. Couple of weeks. I decided that I needed to eat from current supplies for awhile before I went to the grocery store, as I am experiencing a bit of a money crisis. It was an ok plan for awhile. First, I worked through the freezer. This led to an interesting couple of days where I was eating many different kinds of filled pastas- tortellini and pierogies and gyoza, etc. But then I had to move on to the cabinets. This was less interesting, and just as carby, if not more. Surveying the contents of the cabinet revealed several boxes of mac and cheese, a 5 pound bag of jasmine rice from the asian grocery, and an equal amount of soba noodles. A can of diced tomatoes. An entire shelf of instant drink products- cocoa, crystal light, fireside coffee by the bag and jar, smoothie mixes, tea, more tea, instant tea, sun tea, loose tea, chai tea. This was of no use to me. Oh, and condiments. I have more sauces and marinades and dressings than one could possibly hope to use in a lifetime. We won't talk about the bacos. (I said we *won't*, got it?) :)

Anyway. So...one day last week I had to scrounge for dinner at school, which means hoping someone else passes their goodies down the row. Sometimes there is chocolate. On that particular night, my dinner consisted of 6 cashews and a blow-pop. I knew I had to go to the store.

I love Trader Joe's. Yesterday, I can honestly say I had 5 servings of fruits and veggies and 3 servings of dairy. And protein. And, well, maybe not as much water as I should, but on the right track. I felt so much better yesterday. And the peaches....mm......the peaches.

The pen is mightier...
Step 1: Go to HRC website

Step 2: Fill in your name

Step 3: Click "send"

Can't get any easier than that to send a letter to your senators asking them to oppose the federal marriage ammendment hoohah that is going to be voted on soon. So easy. Super duper easy. All the work has been done for you. The letter is already written (you can edit if you want to). You don't even have to know who your senators are. So. Easy. No. Excuses. Go.

(go!)

Ack, What?
I've never gone this long without blogging. Sorry. Blah, blah, busy, blah. I went to the Ren Faire and no, nobody ate a giant turkey leg. I haven't been there in years, and I've never been the Celtic Fling. It was fun. I had an ice cream cone and laid in the grass in the sun and listened to The Hooligans and felt nostalgic when I got to the part of the turnpike that smells like cows (I know, that's gross, but... you know. It's home).

Hmm... yeah. Last Wednesday sucked. I got a bad grade on a paper and then promptly drove my car into Todd's neighbor's truck. Did much more damage to my own car than to his. Fabulous. Because I have money to throw into my car. I just made my very last car payment two weeks ago.... sigh.

And then we went to D.C. for the 4th of July weekend. Yay! I took Todd to the National Cathedral, which is one of my favorite places in D.C. During my first year of grad school I used to drive down to D.C. on Friday mornings and spend all day lying on a wooden bench in the gardens of the cathedral, alternately doing schoolwork and napping until G came home from work. Mm... anyway. Yes. Oh, and of course there were swirly margaritas and napping in the most comfortable bed ever (thanks, debbie), and... a really depressing movie and mosquito bites (anyone have any suggestions, remedies, methods of destruction that will either a) keep them from sucking all of the blood from my body, or b) ease the itching and scratching and ahhhhitreallyreallyitchesahhhhhscratchingscratchingscratching-ness?)

On Sunday we tried to go "do something", and ended up getting drenched in a downpour on our way to the Smithsonian. We finally made it inside the Natural History Museum, where we saw the In Stabiano, Baseball as America and Mammals exhibits. And just to prove that your tax dollars are being used effectively, I learned that all mammals can be traced back to a tiny little mouse that hid under the ground when the dinosaurs were dying off left and right, and then, once all of their natural predators were dead, the little mouse came out of the ground and evolved into every other mammal that lives on earth today. And I saw some very cool bats (um...the upside-down-with-wings kind *and* the wooden kind) and monkeys and giant cats with sharp teeth. Museums are cool, dude.

And then we watched the "it's so humid that the smoke is hanging in the air and obstructing our view of the fireworks" fireworks display from the roof of Aaron's building. The whole "BBQ'ing on the roof" thing is pretty sweet. He has a pool up there, and it's all landscaped and nice. There were some pretty inventive methods devised for making smores on a rooftop grill.... it was all good.

And hefk made me some yummy peanut sauced noodles in an I-95 drive-by noodle-eating exchange. Mm. I still haven't graduated to eating actual pb&j. I fear the day may be approaching, however. It may be forced upon me in a "you will like baseball and pb&j and... milk" kind of way. I feel like I'm being turned into a real american. Or... something.

Speaking of which.... I *have* to stop associating this John Edwards with that John Edward.

Go read about mobilization. Or, read about the Pants On Fire Mobile.

Hope y'all had lovely weekends as well. I know some of you did, which makes me very happpy. :) Hurray.

[Countdown: 5 more class periods until summer vacation]

hey batta batta batta SWING batta!
So, I'll tell you a secret I have't told anyone else. I skipped class and went to a baseball game tonight. Hee! Shh! Don't tell anyone. :) I've only been to one other baseball game in my life, and it was with Heidi a few years ago. That game was at the Vet, which was a terrible stadium, and I swear there were 12 other people in attendance at that game. Now the Phillies have a brand new stadium, there were tons of people there, the team is good this year, everyone was all excited and actually interested in the game, etc, etc, blah blah. I think some of Todd's enthusiasm about the Phillies is rubbing off on me. It was fun. Even the parts where he made me nervous that I was going to get smacked by a homerun ball (we were in the third row, left field (?), and several homerun balls did land in our section). I didn't want to end up on the jumbotron and have someone from my class see it, Ferris Bueller style. So, when the balls came, I ducked and stayed in my seat and hoped it didn't land on my head. :) Which it obviously did not do.

Although, if it had, I would have had a better explanation for what I did while driving home. I was laughing so hard on the phone with Ang that I accidentally stopped at a stop sign and then sat there for 5 minutes waiting for something to happen.... waiting for the stop sign to turn green, I guess. Which wouldn't have been so bad if Todd hadn't been right behind me. Dur. Sometimes I feel that when god was handing out quirks, I got an extra helping. :)

'night.

Eww
We saw Super Size Me last night.

In the beginning of the movie, when he ate his first big mac.... I was kind of thinking... "hey... that looks pretty good.... it's been awhile since I've eaten fast food...." I eat fast food maybe once every 3-4 months. I don't eat junk food. I'm addicted to cheese and carbs, but I don't eat chips or cookies or ice cream or candy on a regular basis. I don't drink soda at all, ever.

But...dude. That movie was pretty impressive. I don't need to eat a cheeseburger any time soon. Especially not a fast food cheeseburger. That was disgusting.

I did think the part about how the brain has opiate receptors that react to the opiates in cheese and chocolate and... well, drugs....was interesting. When I have cravings for food... it's usually for cheese and carbs. Now I have an explanation. Not that that will help me in any way, but I always thought it was a little weird that I craved cheese. Most people crave sweets.

Anyway. Yeah. I think this movie has spurred me on to get back on the healthy-eating/exercising wagon. I was totally on board last year, eating well and exercising almost every day... but in the last couple of months I've just sort of been maintaining a so-so level of effort at these things. The next session of classes starts at the gym next week, and I'm going to sign up for kickboxing and pilates.

And I never want to eat at McHeartAttack ever, ever, ever again. Except...damn. It's really good.

Wouldn't it be lovely?
So, I have this wacky professor (who throws birthday parties for her cats, etc), and a few weeks ago she was talking about language, and how specific words can induce certain feelings, etc. She said something along the lines of "when is the last time you heard someone say "lovely?" Wouldn't it be nice if people said 'That was really lovely' more often?" So....

I had a very lovely weekend. :)

On Friday I got to spend some time in the city with Scott and a friend of his from Seattle. He treated us to a superyummy dinner at Sotto, and Erin treated us to gelato for dessert, and I treated us to a haphazzard walking tour of the city.

On Saturday, Todd and I drove up to NY for the Clearwater Festival on the Hudson river. We saw Dar and Catie and hung out with Antje (who, by the way, won a songwriting contest and gets to perform her winning song at the Philadelphia Folk Festival AND xpn's Singer-Songwriter Weekend. Which, unfortunately, is Beach Weekend. Her winning song was Long Way.) We had dinner with Angie and drove home sleepy and sunburned Saturday night.

And then yesterday, with the perfect weather...we went to Lorimer Park and sat on top of a big rock overlooking a creek, and talked about our grandparents and watched people playing baseball and dodgeball and cooking hotdogs on the park grills and sleeping in the sun....it was nice. Lovely. Fun. Whatever. I was looking down from the top of the rock and listening to the people below screaming and laughing and cheering each other on when they hit the ball, and I realized that every single person I could see.... was happy. You can't go too many places and say that. It was Sunday afternoon, and all of these people were just chilling in the sun, not worrying about work or school or anything at all. *I* wasn't worrying about work or school or anything at all. It was nice.

And then today was the longest day of the year! It doesn't get much better than that. Happy solstice. Go dance around a bonfire. Or something.

Betty Crocker wouldn't do it
The most disturbing transformation happened around 10:55pm tonight.

I was mixing up a batch of brownies to take into work tomorrow, and....the idea of licking the spoon was completely unappealing... because it had raw eggs in it.

What??? Who said that? When did I get old? When did I become my mom? I mean... my mom is cool (in fact, she's leaving for vacation on Monday....on the back of a motorcycle. They're going to Tennessee. On a motorcycle. My mom. Gotta love it.) Anyway. I mean... I bet even my mom would lick the spoon... now. When I was a kid, she would let me do it, but made it perfectly clear that she did not approve.

Anyway. Mm. Brownies. With the Special Dark syrup pouch. Yummm......

Pick a mood... any mood...
and then sticking with it would be nice. I've been a bit stressed lately about school and money and blah blah. So, the consequence? Usually, in the past, I've had bad dreams. Any other time in my life, I would have had a nightmare every night for the past week, and then when the last paper is turned in (tomorrow), everything would go back to normal. But for some reason, I'm not having nightmares. I'm just crying at the drop of a hat. Last week, I accidentally kicked someone (don't ask). And then started to cry about how I have no money AND I kicked someone. Same thing happened a couple of nights ago (minus the kicking part). Tonight at quizzo I had this "everyone's laughing at me" moment and then was irritated at the instigator for the rest of the night. And then, on the way home from the city, a fox ran out in front of my car, and my first thought was "whoa- I've never seen a real fox before. I'm glad I didn't hit it." And then another car did. It was loud and it clunked through all the tires before spinning back out right in front of my car. I had hit the breaks when it ran in front of me, so I was already stopped, but then the dead fox was sitting right in front of my car, twitching, with it's green eyes glowing in the dark. Which brought out the tears again.

I think I would almost prefer the nightmares. Sigh....

Happy Wednesday
when you get to the bottom, be sure to click on the link to the second page.

kid drawings

Don't Run with Scissors
I really need to learn how to fight intelligently about emotional (read: political or social) issues. When I take the time to step away from something and write down my thoughts, I can form some very clever, witty, intelligent arguments. But more times than not, I have an immediate visceral response that just leaves me blabbering things like:

"I can't BELIEVE you think that!!!" or....
"Oh my god, I'm gonna have it out with your friend."

I think I've been surrounded by outspoken, like-minded people for so long that I literally do not understand the thought processes of people who are, well, conservative. And this is (now) causing some (small) problems in my life. In one particularly disturbing conversation, a certain someone (who is reading this, so behave yourselves to some degree, and say hi!) told me something I found particularly disheartening, and rather than debate the merits of our opinions, I fled to my corner of the couch, arms crossed in front of me, shouted "WHAT?!?" a few times, begged him to reconsider his opinions, and then talked myself out of getting in my car and driving away.

Tonight, I was already in my car driving away when this same person relayed a comment from his friend about my favorite music venue being a liberal "Village Voice" reader's wet dream (ok, those words are mine, I don't remember what he said.) But see- that's the point. I don't remember what he said because I was so appalled at the original statement that I couldn't think straight anymore.

Ok. So.... yes. Are any of you successful in having rational intelligent discussions about issues that get you all riled up? How do you do it? Let me just state, for the record, that we like this person we need to occassionally argue with. :) We don't want to be nasty and sarcastic. We want to be well-informed and express our opinions in a coherent, perhaps compelling, perhaps convincing way. We don't want to sit and stew and be angry and take things personally. As this person pointed out to me, we've had very different experiences and we can learn from each other. But no one is learning anything from my current method of reaction, so.... I need a new plan of action. November's a long way off. I highly doubt we've seen the last of the confrontation. :)

Five-Oh-Oh
This is my 500th entry on this site! (I had 356 at the other site, but we won't count those because 856 is not a celebratory number.) 500!

So...here's my big exciting news. Are you ready for this? Because it's very exciting.... almost as exciting as the Secret Word...

We won Quizzo last night! Hurrah! We beat The Guy Who Always Wins (and his little friend, too). Heh heh heh. Last week (which I never got around to writing about) we came in second place (again) and won 2 (more) tickets to the prison. Which is fine. Lots of people seem excited about wanting to go with us. I figured we would keep going back to Quizzo until we won enough tickets to take everyone on the planet. But really.... I just wanted to beat the other guy. ;)

This afternoon we're having our annual open house at the office, which got me to thinking about my life over the last couple of years. It's funny how one can measure time and life by yearly events. For the first time in years, I will have zero angst about asking a certain BTB to the open house. No drama here. Not this time. No siree bob. (Bob?) It's really hard to even think about how that could have been a part of my life. Do you ever think back on things that were *so* important at one time, and now you just wonder how you could have been such a goober? Yeah... that's how I feel right now.

have a good weekend. Be good. ;)

Go. Do. See.

If you lived here, you could do these things with me. Since you don't... well, you should just go do them anyway.

1) see this. maybe at your local indie theater, which is where I saw it. So. Good. Omar Sharif is awesome.

2) and then you can see Hrry Ptter, except that you probably already have. You loved it, didn't you? I think we were the oldest people there who were not there with their own children. I would perhaps recommend not seeing it at 8pm on a Friday. Unless you *want* to see all the 13-year-olds pressed up against each other in corners because they can't do that anywhere else.

3) we tried to go to this cathedral and this museum, but unfortunately they were both closed. We ended up walking around the grounds, which was beautiful- all rolling hills and stone archways and whatnot. Until we saw a bunch of...

4) these. I kid you not. Todd has pictures on his digital camera. Finally.

So.... yeah. We decided not to go to Appel Frm because of the crummy weather (again). I have 2 other festivals coming up this summer, though.... Clearwater in NY, and Newport later on this summer. Am excited. Need a music fix. It's been awhile. I am excited for summer. I mean...well... I'm excited for the part of the summer that I will actually have *off*... but am also excited for the next couple of months in general. The calendar is filling up quickly... is very fun and good and goodandfun.

Really?
I read an article at salon.com today on bloggers being invited to the DNC... and in the final paragraph a magazine editor commented that "endorsement by an official entity such as the DNC is not something that many of her colleagues will embrace. Bloggers have very little interest in being part of the establishment...The entire 'blogosphere' is founded on the basic distrust of traditional organizations."

Really? First of all, what does an invitation to the DNC have to do with "endorsement?" Endorsement of what? Their existance? Importance? And then.... the blogosphere is founded on a basic mistrust of traditional organizations? Really? I think I'm more distrustful of the "blogosphere" than other organizations. Am I missing an important piece of this? Hrm....

Deluxe Accommodations
Last night I went out for Trivia Night at a bar in the city with T and a bunch of his friends. Our team ended up finishing in second place (amazing, since we only missed 3 questions out of 40), but went home with 2 tickets to Eastern St@te Penitentiary! I am so excited. I have wanted to go there since I first moved to the area five years ago. I remember learning about E.S.P. in my Corrections class in college. The site provides a nice history of the prison and the philosophical basis of its design. It's interesting to look at this system, with everything that we've seen in the news recently about prisoner abuse, etc. E.S.P. was designed with the notion of solitude leading to true regret and penitence (and the birth of "penitentiary"). It was revolutionary and controversial, with some viewing it as more compassionate than prisons designed for punishment (where harsh physical treatment was assumed), and others viewing the solitude and being left with only your thoughts as being the harsher option.

Anyway. I've always been fascinated with prisons, and the idea of "corrections" in general. I was far more excited to win these tickets than I would have been to win to first prize gift certificate to the smokey bar we were at. :)

Crap
I'm almost out of money. I had saved quite a bit over the last 2 years, and was very pleased with myself for doing so. And then I spent it all on tuition, and my paychecks have been averaging oh, say, $60 a week, so I've been spending the rest of my savings on rent and bills and food, and even when I thought I was poor last semester, I was never *really*. But now... now I am and I don't know what to do and I have to figure it out really soon or something bad will happen.

agh.

'nother weekend update?
Dur. Not keeping up with the blogging. Sorry. My life is sort of in a place right now where I go to school (which you wouldn't want to hear about), go out after school (which you wouldn't want to hear about), and then do really fun stuff on the weekends (which you may or may not want to hear about, but which I apparently want to write about). Nothing else happens during the week that would hold any interest to others. so... yeah. Weekend update 2.

Thursday (because the weekend DOES start on Thursday, right?) night I watched the Flyers game. Guess what? I like hockey! Who knew? So... they were in the playoffs, and had to win to stay in, and it was all exciting and last-minute scoring and upstairs neighbor pounding on the floor and people yelling and whatnot. I have to admit that in the last couple of weeks, I've sort of gotten into the whole hockey thing. Of course, they lost Saturday night and now they're done, but Thursday's game was kind of exciting. When I watched my very first hockey game with T and his friends a couple of weeks ago, I commented that a group of women would never just beat the crap out of each other for no reason like that, and his friends just looked at me silently for a minute before one of them said "It would never occur to us *not* to." Oh.

Friday night started out as "chore night" until T got home from watching his brother in a show. Then we went into Chestnut Hill for dinner and....oh. I guess that's all. It was late.

And then Saturday. We went hiking at De1aware Water Gap (on the NJ side- shh- don't tell anyone). I love hiking. You all know that. I asked T what I should bring. He said the usual hiking stuff- water, granola bars, sunscreen, camera, no big deal. But when we got to his friend Jim's house, and I noticed that Jim had enough stuff for a 3 day trip (for a family of 4), I got worried. He had more food and water and "supplies" than I have ever brought on any trip in my life. And then they started talking about the last time they went on this same hiking trip and saw a bear. Um... yeah. Ok. A bear. So, T reassures me that my backpack full of water and Luna bars will be sufficient and we head off. Several hours later we pull into the parking lot at the trailhead, and T points to the top of the mountain and says "we're going there." And I laughed. I shouldn't have laughed, because I think the mountain took it as a personal insult which it then had to avenge. The mountain tried to kick my @ss. I have never felt less in-shape than I did Saturday afternoon. I thought I was going to die. The first part of the trip (I think T said it was about 1500 feet or so) was straight up. It didn't take me five minutes to start thinking that I wasn't going to make it to the top. Dur. That's a bad feeling. To make matters worse, I kept hearing "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" from F1nding Nem0 in my head the whole time. Ugh. Anyway.

The view from the top was really amazing, though, and... I guess I'm supposed to say the journey to get there was worth it. There were a dozen hawks flying right in front of us, and a huge drop down to the Delaware River. The sun was bright, the sky was clear and beautiful. T's friends are funny and nice. He assured me the rest of the trip was easy and downhill. It was downhill, but not necessarily easy. It was also another, I don't know.... 8 miles? I was so. freaking. sore. Not at the time, but later, after we drove in the car for awhile. We stopped at someone's parents house in the Poconos for dinner, and when I got out of the truck I thought my knees were going to leap out of my body and run away. Or perhaps just plunk down on the ground and give up the fight. I have never been so sore. ay ya. I have never found an outdoor activity that made me say "never again," but this one might come close.

Yesterday was recovery day. Sleep late, lie around in bed all morning, make a big breakfast, etc. Last night we saw Shrk 2, which was quite funny.

But now.... now I must work like there's no tomorrow, because I totally just blew off the weekend in a Fit of Fun. Mmm. Am a happy camper. We're going hiking in NY this weekend. Whee! Heh.

Weekend Update
95% of me thinks it's summer and that I have no other responsibilities other than having fun. :) Ah, but if that were true....

So, I got out of work early on Friday and called T for a quick dinner before I headed down to visit hefk in her new home in MD. I *love* being able to call someone and say "hey, wanna go do this right now?" and it's possible. I haven't had anyone in close enough proximity to do that in ages. It's quite fun. Anyway. So... yes. Went to hefk's Friday night. She has the most beautiful shade of yellow on one wall in her living room. I would love to have my bedroom painted that color. My room as a kid was a light lemon yellow, and didn't have any of the warmth of this color. It was all melty and cozy and snuggly.

On Saturday we went to a cute little nearby town with lots of shops and restaurants and beautiful old buildings and a lot of rather odd people wearing sparkly fairy clothes and things. I learned this weekend that I'm a little bit frightened of places that are packed with fairies and dolls and the like. But more on that later. Oh, and I bought a cute little color-blocked tank for $5. That never happens to me. You know, they have the sale rack where everything's $5, but what you really want is on the rack for $30. I never find anything on the $5 rack. Except that I did. It was great.

We tried to go hiking but couldn't find our way into the park. So instead, we went to the asian grocery store. And I came home with 3 bags of groceries for $20. Fruit and noodles and weird korean rice cookie things and vegetables and so much good food for so little money. la la la. Ha. And then we went into Baltimore to see a musical. "The Pain! Oh, the Pain!" I'm sure the next line was something about a train. Or the rain. It was bad. So very bad. We were sad. Everything rhymed. Oh how we whined. And then went out for food. In the rain. Not in a train.

Hefk took me to the Paper Moon Diner, which frankly... creeped me out. Parts of it were really appealing to me... the whimsical purple and yellow painted walls.... the mismatched tables and chairs and unique found objects... even the old sink outside that had flowers planted in it. But then there were the disembodied mannequins and the doll heads and the creepy figurines, and I decided that I was definitely more in favor of those kinds of things in small quantities, and not so much when they're stapled all over the walls and ceiling. Bald doll heads with detached arms and things are creepy. Kind of the same ways puppets creep me out sometimes. But the bread pudding was good.

And then yesterday I came home and got some work done before I went hiking with T on Forbidden Drive. And... I can't believe this place exists 2 feet from my school and I've never known. Literally, you can park at my school, walk across the street, and right onto this trail that you can follow for miles and miles along a creek all the way to the art museum if you walked far enough. We hiked about 4.5 miles. There was a covered bridge, and people fishing and running and walking their dogs and riding their bikes and riding horses and playing in the creek and eating water ice at the end. It was so, so beautiful. The weather was perfect, the sky was gorgeous, the trees were so green and swaying in the breeze. Perfect. Perfect-perfect. And so close to my house!! I really can not believe I have never been to this place. I am taking you all there the next time you visit. And there will be water ice at the end.

My karma...well, sat there...
I had the worst day yesterday. I got back to the train station after work and found that some very kind person had parked my car in. So, I spent the next 2 hours walking back to my house, emptying my piggy bank, walking back to the train station, and using the disgusting pay phone to call septa, the police department, the towing company, etc, etc. No one could help me. The only guy who tows things from there was in the hospital. The police department said all they could do was come ticket the car, if that's what I wanted. And for a minute, I almost said yes. Sigh. But....for the same reason that I feed people's expired meters on the street, I decided not to have the cops come ticket the car. I'm sure some day I will be in a position where my car could be ticketed or towed, and I will be grateful to some nice person who decides to let me off the hook. I hope. :) Anyway. So... yes. This whole thing was a bigger problem because my cell phone wasn't working (whole different story). So, in the end, Todd said he could leave work and come pick me up at the station, drive me to school, and then pick me up after school to go back and get my car. While I was waiting for him to come get me, the girl who parked me in came back for her car, and drove off before I could oh-so-kindly inform her of the drama I just went through for the last two hours, including the fact that I missed my 4:00 class because of this. So frustrating. And then, in a perfect ending to the day, I left a message for Todd letting him know he didn't have to come get me after all, and his phone never registered the message, so the poor guy went to the train station anyway and waited around for 20 minutes before deciding that I must have gotten my car and left.

Ay ya. Anyway. My phone is finally fixed. I despise my cell phone company. I haven't talked to anyone in a week. I miss you all. Call me. Callmecallmecallme. :)

Daa da da-da...
Yay. Heidi got married yesterday! I slept a lot today to recover! Yay! No, seriously... everything was beautiful. She was beautiful. The ceremony and reception were great. Very, very nice. Yay. I have never seen her look happier in her life. Love her. Also loved the limo rides with all the girls and the drinky drinky and the flowers and the totally gorgeous woman who gave me the best compliment of my life at the reception and my lovely, lovely date who pulled out all my bobby pins when I got home. Mmm. Very happy for everyone.

Here we go again
Classes start again tomorrow. For once, I spent the three weeks of break doing exactly what I planned: I went to NY, DC, saw my mother, spent time with Heidi, cleaned my apartment from floor to ceiling, rearranged my furniture, and threw things away. I finally got rid of the last piece of tainted furniture in my bedroom. Hee. One tiny table left and I will have zero physical reminders of a previous life. It really does feel like a previous life. Someone asked me a couple of months ago how much I wanted to reconnect with that part of my past, and I could honestly say, not one sliver of a chance. No anger, no resentment, no nothing. It really does feel like forever ago. I'm glad the damn desk is out of my space, though. :)

Anyway. Oh! And I finally got that massage I've been meaning to get for the last year. G and K gave me money for a massage last year... exactly a year ago tomorrow, and I finally went on Friday. H and I went to this fantastic place in the city that only does massage (somehow, people getting their hair and nails done kind of distracts from the serene, candle-lit, dark, completely relaxing atmosphere of a place that only does massage.) It was great, and the weather was fanstatic. Walking around the chachi part of the city with the breeze blowing and the Beautiful People out and about and the brick sidewalks and the restaurants and everyone in the world outside enjoying the night.... mmm.

So, the only things left for me to do are to go pick up some finals things I need for the wedding this weekend, rehang my artwork in my newly redesigned bedroom (I have so much more space!), and try to steel myself for some difficult conversations that are (hopefully) going to happen tomorrow. Ay ya. In with the good air......

Patience
I spent all day yesterday watching the grass grow
What I learned is that grass grows really slow
-Mark Sandman

Sigh. I'm not always good at being patient. You put yourself out there, are as honest and open and understanding and... honest... as you can be, but when it comes down to it, sometimes you just have to wait for someone else to catch up. Or maybe they never will. Sometimes I just want the acknowledgement that that's what's happening. When you don't have that, you don't know if you should stick around and wait, or if you should close that door and walk on. I feel like a lot of people are asking me to be patient right now, at a time when I have a lot of energy that wants to propel me forward, out of this uncomfortable purgatory of the unknown.

I think I also have spring fever, which...isn't helping. :)

Life on Hold
I want to go hibernate in a cardboard box in the woods and not come out until everything is happy and good for everyone I know. Can that happen, please? sigh.

What's in a name?
If you're the sitting president, an awful lot of fodder for feminist activists....
Anyway.... So... I did the march yesterday. I don't really know what to say about it yet. It was so powerful, for a lot of reasons, and I'm still sorting and processing everything that I saw (and had to turn away from) and heard (and shouted). The photos from the major news sites show it better than I could describe...(I would post one here if I could find one that didn't need a password for access...will come back to this later.) Anyway. Initially I wasn't going to go to the rally or the march. This was the first major activist march I've participated in. I *know* how important it is to advocate for these issues- all of them. At the same time.... I couldn't look at the pictures that the protesters had displayed. The people kneeling on the sidewalks, crying and praying for the marchers... some of their faces carried looks of total desperation. Others appeared completely empty, distant, devoid of any response to the crowd before them... they just silently repeated their pleas, over and over. That part of the march was harder than I anticipated. I felt compassion for some of those people, too (perhaps not the ones spewing hateful, aggressive attacks, but the ones who just looked scared and sad and desperate). Anyway. I don't know. I have always felt conflicted about certain aspects of this cause. Both extremes were tugging at me yesterday. Ultimately, I know I have to fight for this. Today, tomorrow, in November. Probably the most important message I received yesterday.... to make sure every single person you know is registered to vote, and then actually *does.*

Freakin pincushion
I am a human pincushion. I went to the hospital for my glucose tolerance test and a bunch of other blood tests this morning. Let me tell you... not a pleasant experience. First of all, I had to get up at 5:30am to get there in time, because they only do the glucose tolerance tests at 6:45am. The first woman who drew the baseline blood levels was a sadistic vampire. Right off the bat she told me she was tired. Fantastic. When she finished drawing about 8 gallons of blood, I swear she just ripped the needle out. When I took the gauze off after 20 minutes, it was still bleeding. Freaking %@*(!). Anyway. And then I had to drink this disgusting, syrupy sweet, carbonated, cola-flavored glucose soda drink. How many adjectives in that last sentence describe things I don't like? Hm. Sweet, carbonated, cola, soda, disgusting..... yeah. I was supposed to drink the entire bottle in 5 minutes. I forced down the last drop around 10 minutes. And then I had to sit there for 3 more hours and get more blood drawn every hour. I had to do the next 2 draws on the other arm because the first one was still sore. Freaking %@*(!) Sigh. The good news is that my day can only get better from that, right? Knocking on wood as we speak. :)

Anyway. Yes. I'm a bit behind in the blogging. Last weekend I went up to NY to hang out with Antje and Angie and my family. Antje had a bit of car trouble. Well, ok. She got stuck in Woodstock where she was picking up a free car that someone * was giving her. The car was free, but had been living in the woods for a long time. It had sticks and cobwebs and spiders and lots of other things that Antje thinks adds a nice naturey touch. (* the someone who gave her the car is the guy who produced 2 of dar's earlier albums). Anyway. She finally made it to Ang's to pick me up, and then we went into the city to see a friend of hers perform. And Jackie was there! Yay. We like Jackie. Jackie is moving back to D.C. soon to work on the Kerry campaign, and I think, though I am so playing the middle man here... I think she's going to move back into G's house, which would be super-cool. Jackie and I hang out approximately once every 2 years. If she lived in G's house perhaps we could up the frequency a little bit.

So... I was hanging out with Antje, which meant a lot of weird random stuff, including a lot of walking around Brooklyn at 2am looking for the spider-infested car. I saw rats. They were very large.

And then I spent the rest of the weekend with my aunt, uncle and cousins. Went to the park, played soccer, tennis, flew a kite, ate an ice cream cone. It was wonderful. No stress. Beautiful weather. Fun people. Playing outside. La la wonderful la.

This weekend I'm off to D.C. to March on Washington. I'm sure there will be stories.