Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Doing Something Right

                                                          18 months
That's how long, on average, it has taken us to really feel settled in each time we move.
                                           I always hope it will be sooner.

Just yesterday I realized that we had passed the anniversary of the first year in our home. Life has gone so fast that I felt a little taken a back as to how that date snuck by us unannounced. Looking around I started to  wonder if we had really gotten very far in the past year: the house still needs so much work, there are plenty of questions surrounding Tom's job, I am back in the work force, money is tight and time is even tighter. Our kids have struggled, we have struggled, in short, we have learned a lot about our weaknesses and where we need to improve.

Yesterday started out as another one of those tough days.  Spencer missed the bus, I lost the parking pass for my car for work, the other kids were late for school, there was arguing and general frustration on the part of many of our family members, it was Monday in its truest form.
That afternoon I was in a meeting when I suddenly realized that I was late to catch the two youngest boys at the bus stop. September usually is with them and I can send her a message if I am late, but today she stayed after school for science club, so I had no way of getting in touch with the boys.

Luckily I don't work too far from home so I gathered my things and headed out.  The boys had started walking the 1.5 miles home from the bus stop and had made some good progress before I caught up to them.  They  have walked the entire route a few times, but it is a long walk for Ben and he really struggles to keep up with his brother and sister. Occasionally, Theo has let Ben hold onto his back pack and will pull him along if Ben can keep his grip. I suspected to see something similar today.

As I came along the main road to our home, I spotted the two boys ahead of me on the sidewalk.
I pulled up slowly and realized they were walking side by side - something unusual for our turbo charged youngest who can walk circles around his older brother. To my surprise I noticed our boys holding hands.  Theo was carefully bringing Ben along and they were talking and laughing together.

The sweetness of that gesture changed my entire day around, and continues to resonate with me now.
Maybe, in all the madness, the moving, the work, the struggles, the loneliness and the worry, we have done something right, because at the very least, they love each other enough to serve each other.

I wish I had a picture of that moment to share with others -but maybe its better etched in my mind where no one can use it to tease or abuse it.  Parenthood is one of the greatest blessings we have been given, certainly one of the most challenging as well.  Moments like those are the sweetest gifts - gifts of perspective that keep us grounded and moving forward on our journey.


Friday, September 23, 2011


When the inspector and the mold contractor went through our home they took a few more air samples, one in the kitchen and one on the bedroom side of the home where they found some fantastic leaks from the roof. Their hope was to prove that the side of the home with the water leaks was the source of the mold. While we were waiting for those tests to come back we ended up having to replace half the roof to stop the leaking. 
Unfortunately, when the tests came back, they showed that the kitchen had higher mold counts than the rest of the house! We discovered another leak - a door in the utility room had been installed incorrectly and was letting water in every time we had a substantial rain (which is the only type of rain in FL). We ended up taking out the flooring and the wood panelling in the kitchen and sure enough there was mold
on the furring strips behind the panelling.  The General Contractor we had been using had to move onto
2 other jobs but we remembered another man who had helped us with the first place we moved to last year in Palmetto.

He is also a member of the church (a big bonus because every other contractor we have had in the home has been smoking on their breaks and the smell and mess was awful) and he was just finishing a job when we called him. His name is Mike Turner. He came right up and got started on the kitchen walls. They are now cleaned up and dry-walled and he discovered they were open right down to the crawl space so he sealed those up. His son also came up and removed a giant brick planter that was in the middle of the living room and full of dirt.  The house smells and looks so much better with that done. I'll get pics posted this weekend.

We have been in negotiations with the insulation company that really screwed up the insulation in the crawl-space and we are hoping to see a resolution with that early next week.  Mike cut a hole in the kitchen floor to permit them to get under the rest of the house to finish insulating and we are not backing down until we get what we agreed to and paid for originally.

Tom has also started installing some of the flooring in the areas we had to take carpet out and I have been priming all the dry-wall that has been repaired in the house. It is starting to look more like a nice place to live every day.

We were really hoping to be in next weekend, but because of the insulation issues, it will probably be another week after that or even a week later depending on how long it takes to get the rest of the flooring in and then everything cleaned and tested.

Tom is also facing a big deadline at work on October 15th so his time to spend on the house is getting less and less.

Hopefully it will all come together soon - but one thing we keep learning is that it will come together when its time. The trick is just hanging in there - which really is the tough part some days.

When I get a few minutes I will put some pictures up  so you can see the transformation.
Hope you are all well - we pray for all of you and really miss you!
T&S

Friday, September 9, 2011

Just out of our reach . .

Since our last post we have closed on both our homes - selling the one in SLC and purchasing the one here in St Petersburg and the kids have started school.

Oh how we would love to say we are settling in, making new friends and enjoying our new home . . .

As many of you know, the home tested positive for mold and had some water damage before we purchased it so we had arranged to have some money put in escrow from the seller and had contracted with a certified mold remediation company before we closed.

Work began on the house immediately after closing - we have had the heat pump and all the a/c venting replaced. We have also had all the old electrical updated and had the roof repaired (multiple times actually). We had new gutters installed around the majority of the home and had them tied into a french drain and had the yard graded to prevent water from running underneath the house. We also had a vapor barrier put underneath the crawl space and insulation sprayed underneath the house to seal the home from any further moisture damage or mold spores coming up from the ground underneath through the floors. We also had several (8+) HUGE weed trees taken down (along with the old fence that was "leaning" on them) which drop massive amounts of pollen and seeds 3-4 times a year.  The city has threatened to give us a plaque as they are so grateful to have them gone. =)

After all that was done, the mold remediation company (BRC) came in and took down all the old wallpaper, cut out portions of the ceilings and walls in rooms that had any signs of water damage, removed all the carpet and scrubbed the entire house from top to bottom to remove any signs of mold.
Dehumidifiers were brought in to absorb any excess moisture from the leaks then 3 large air scrubbing machines have been running in the house for nearly 5 days.

This past Tuesday, the inspector was given clearance to return to the home and take air samples - one in the house and one outside. He was thrilled with how clean the house was and confident they had done a great job, all we had to do was wait for test results.  Last night we got the test results and to everyone's surprise - the house is still testing positive for one type of mold, the toxic kind of course, in pretty much the same amount as was found initially.  The other, less dangerous types of mold are gone.

So - the inspector is coming back tonight to go through the home with a fine tooth comb and see if they can figure out where this colony of mold might be hiding.  So far, the amount of mold they are finding isn't excessively high, but it is high enough that it isn't safe to ignore.

Needless to say, we are really disappointed at the situation but grateful BRC and the inspector are coming back to give it another go around and especially grateful Tom's boss has been so patient and willing to let us invade her home while we wait for ours.

Our kids have been troopers - starting school again in limbo (this feels so familiar), sharing beds and sleeping on mattresses on the floor - but it is starting to take its toll. Tember has been sick this week and it looks like everyone else isn't doing well trying not to catch it from her.  Ben is really struggling with school, I have spoken with the school several times and have a meeting with the teacher finally next week, everyone is just really tired. Probably both physically and emotionally - it is hard to have some semblance of permanence or end to this craziness constantly out of reach. We are trying to remember we are lucky to have each other, but oh how we ache to settle down and feel like we belong somewhere again.

As soon as we know more, we will let you know - but as for now, we are still in limbo, still praying that the mold will show itself and we can get things taken care of and somehow, someday, settle in again.

Hopefully next time we will have access to the house and pictures too. We are well aware that there are many deserving of your prayers, but if you have the chance to throw us in there again, we would be so grateful. Take care - we miss you all
T&S & Fam

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Wanderers in a Strange Land

For those of you not current on our continual state of moving - we moved again the end of June.
We are taking temporary refuge in Tom's boss's house in the Shore Acres neighborhood of St Petersburg while we wait to see what will happen on the home(s) we have under contract and what will happen
with our home in SLC.

We've been fortunate to get the kids involved in some really fun activities so far - they are all taking sailing classes at the youth sailing center that is practically across the street from Tom's office and they are all really enjoying it.
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Theo & Ben hard at work =)

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Tember practicing

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Spencer is at the back steering the boat

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Tom & I even got a trip out to the bay in on the 4th


Tember seems to have found a new gym and has been invited to be on the level 4 competition team (she is very excited!)
The boys are all swimming on a local swim team. - yep - all 3 boys - they have one lane on the shallow end of the pool for special needs swimmers and Ben has been loving it. He has been begging to join his brothers on the swim team but hasn't had the ability to swim in deep water so this has been perfect. It's only about 4 feet deep - just deep enough that he can't walk it but shallow enough that he can go and touch the bottom for reassurance.  He plugs along, grabbing the lane lines as he goes - with a huge smile on his face the entire time.

Theo also has a huge smile on his face each time he comes out of the water - the coach has him with the 8 & 9 year-olds because they are the only ones that can keep up with him. He is just one GIANT BALL OF ENERGY.  For some reason we thought that would lessen as he got older - but it really seems to have increased, ten-fold.  His sailing coach can hardly wait for him to turn 8 so he can join the racing team - they say he is absolutely fearless on the water (imagine that?).

Spencer is getting his stride back as well - he is sailing bigger boats than the other kids and really enjoys it. He is learning how hard it is to be a teenage boy with a clean mouth and mind (we are really grateful that he is still horrified by all the foul language of his peers out here, and even more mindful of the challenges that presents a young man trying to participate in sports and friendships). He is also getting his strokes back in the pool. It's fun to see him back in the water - he always comes out in a much better mood than he went in. =)

We are still working on where he will attend school in the fall - middle school here is a little scary and very tricky. All the schools are on a lottery system so he is on waiting lists which can take until the 10th day of school to shake down. Ugh - we are looking at private, homeschool and charter. Hopefully something will come together before too long.

Patience seems to be the name of the game this year - we like to think we are getting better at it - or at least better at continuing to live while waiting.  The kids have been good sports, but they need friends and a community and just to know where to plan on being for awhile- we could use some of that too.

Keep your eyes open for a few more photos and such over the next few days - in the middle of all the moving we've had some fun.

Friday, April 29, 2011

A truly royal wedding . .

While watching a few minutes of the Royal Wedding this morning I couldn't help but hope those two young lovebirds are prepared for the adventures and challenges ahead of them.
I couldn't help but compare them to two other lovebirds we recently attended a wedding for -
the pomp and circumstance surrounding the aforementioned nuptials pale in comparison to the
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sweet tears and simple elegance that flowed freely as Tom's eldest sister finally made the long-awaited walk down the aisle just a few weeks before.

The weekend we flew to Denver is one of the sweetest experiences we have ever had with Tom's family - after months of separation since our move to Florida and with so many of his siblings spread across the country, we were so unprepared for the emotions of that event. For weeks prior to the trip we had been counting the days to see grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins we have missed so dearly, we tried to jam every second with time together.

Within hours of our arrival we realized how impossible it would be to spend enough time with each or our loved ones to be satisfied in the short 2 days we had there.  What was even more overwhelming was the amazing healing that had taken place in a once fractured family as Tom's sister and her fiance had reached out to include all of their family members in their celebration of love, renewal and commitment to each other.

So much has been said as of late on the importance of marrying, staying married and cherishing marriage.  In a world where so many people have chosen lives that make marriage seem old fashioned, unnecessary or even disposable - we are so grateful to have been allowed to participate in the celebration of great love that is the result of great effort and faith.

We are doubly grateful to be part of a family that cherishes each other - to be married as best friends who are committed through the eternities and to raise children with the knowledge that the work required to bring them up in a righteous, loving family prepared to start righteous loving families of their own is the most important work on this earth.
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Life is so hard, and sometimes days get dark even in the sunshine - but we have no doubt there is an All Powerful Creator lovingly watching over us and guiding us. There is no doubt in our minds that He knew our greatest trials would come as we struggle together as families made up of individuals - but He also knows our greatest joys, blessings and rewards would come as we succeed in loving and making family relationships work.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A return to the blogosphere . . .

I wondered what it would take to bring me back to the blogosphere -
 the past many months have been
well-
I don't really have words for them or I guess I would have blogged before now.
We have seen tragedies and miracles
Lots of laughter and tears
And we are grateful that spring is upon us and each day is new.

Perhaps the most monumental of moments for both Tom & I took place about a week ago.
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Ben decided to be baptized.
The decision was absolutely his - 8 is the earliest you can choose to be baptized in the Church and both Tom and I wondered if Ben would be ready or even interested in being baptized at age 8. Developmentally, Ben is a wild card, most of the time behind his peers. But as his birthday
approached it was all he could talk about.
He could hardly wait. 
His interview with the Bishop went well.
He choose the program from the prayers to the speakers to the songs.
(he asked September to speak on baptism and Spencer to speak on the gift of the Holy Ghost, Grandma Debbie to give the opening prayers and aunt Jenny to give the closing)
He even knew he wanted strawberry shortcake for refreshments.

Tom's youngest sister Jenny drove over from West Palm Beach (about 3 1/2 hrs away) the night before and Grandpa & Grandma Elggren flew in that night as well. 

It's always a bit of work to get talks completed, refreshments made and everything put together then transfer it to the chapel, but the day came together beautifully. 

With all the craziness, it wasn't until Tom escorted that little man down into the baptismal font that the sanctity and miracle of that moment hit both of us. 

I pray I will never lose the picture that is still etched in my mind of Ben standing straight and tall in the warm water with Tom's arm around him. Ben is smiling and tears are running down Tom's face as we both realize the miracle we were experiencing.  

It wasn't too many years ago we were told to expect that Ben would no longer be walking independently by the time he was 8 years old.

Yet, here he was, walking down the stairs and standing straight and tall in the font, smiling ear to ear.

Apparently the doctor's forgot to tell Ben.

Aside from a slightly weakened heart and lungs, Ben is in great shape. He is learning to read and add double digit numbers and has a huge crush on a cute girl in his 2nd grade class. 

No, he is not able to keep up with his class on everything and gets lots of help to be where he is, but he is progressing, running, jumping, reading, even playing basketball with his younger brother.

I think we only had to coax him out from under the table a few times (he still panics when too many people are looking at him), but he wanted to be baptized and confirmed so badly that the coaxing was brief when we promised only people who love him were there that day. (not everyone that loves him could be there, but the few who were there are all special to him)

It was a different sort of day than the baptisms of our older children that had been full of family and friends and food - March 5th was a very Ben day - for a little guy who came into the world without fanfare or even a cry, the day was simple and sweet, touching, profound even and full of great love -  the experience was beautiful.
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Monday, November 1, 2010

Dia De Los Muertos

Okay, so it really is just Halloween - but after the past 3 days "Day of the Dead" seems a bit more fitting.

The kids don't wear Halloween costumes at school here - so no parades this year. Friday night was Trunk r Treat at the church - it was a big hit, lots of kids and fun and we forgot our camera. (kids didn't hold still anyway . . .)

Saturday was full of parties and events - Tember had a girl scout field trip in Sarasota and the boys all had swimming in Sarasota. Spencer had practice and an hour of beginning water polo (which he LOVED) and the two younger boys had a swim party - luckily at the same place and close to the same time.
We spent a few minutes at the Sarasota Goodwill working on a Halloween costume for Tomer - scroll down and see what you think.

Theo had a birthday party he was invited to in Parrish that afternoon and September and her friends did a make-up tumbling class since they all missed last Monday's class - (kids were out of school so we went hunting for sharks teeth at the beach in Venice instead)

And we all had been invited to a Halloween Party that evening in Parrish - it was a fun day - very long and LOTS of driving. The Explorer died - but the new part is on its way - and we are nearing 90000 miles on the MDX.  We spend a LOT of time in the car here - 

The missionaries got to come with us to the party - anyone guess what they came as?
A friend of ours got some much better shots of the event and I will add them when he emails them to us.  For now - the following is the longest I could get them to hold still:

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Theo =GI JO, Elder Brinley, Ben - Iron Man, Elder Gonzales, Tember = rockstar witch, Spencer = ninja

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couldn't see a thing until the camera flashed - so the pic is a bit tight

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I'll give you 2 hints - 1. NOT Zorro2. As You Wiiiiiiiissssssshhhhhhhhh
It was a fun night at the Wompey's - complete with a costume contest and dance floor.
We are tired today - not more than a handful of trick or treaters in the neighborhood tonight  - makes us miss East Mill Creek even more . . .
The weather here just doesn't feel like Halloween - it is still so hot and no rain for weeks.  The AC was broken in the chapel today - (sacrament meeting was very long).

More pictures to come - as the house comes together and we get some from friends I'll get 'em up here. Its nice to have the ability to sit and type again!

Remember Him - He never forgets you

WMak