Vent Sesh

I am so extremely stressed. Its not even funny. I decided I needed a release of all this stress that I have...so here I am. I'm sure that no one even reads my blog so its a great way for me to vent and get everything off of my chest. Perfect journal. I cannot believe that I am finally getting married in 24 days and I have an endless list of things to be done. Not enough hours in the day. I hate wedding planning. Don't get me wrong though..I can't wait to get married to my sweetheart! Our schedules are JAM PACKED for the next 24 days. With the Holidays and family coming into town, we will not have a single second to relax. But it will be great to see everyone. We are both excited to finally spend the holidays together this year(even if I wont get him an x box for christmas) haha :] 

Lately, the question has been "Are you guys going to have kids right away or wait a little bit?" UMM...WERE NOT EVEN MARRIED YET... but Im not gonna lie, I have thought about it a little bit.. Im not sure if I want to follow the complete "mormon trend", getting married young(check), having kids right away, not having time for school or a career. No offense to anyone who has done it that way. Props to you for being AMAZING wives and mothers and school go-ers, all at once! Im just not sure if I have what it takes to go to school, take care of a husband and household AND a baby on top of that. I know my calling in life is to be a mother and I am excited for that day. I also have a thousand dreams. Like traveling, having a fulfilling career, having freedom, living all over the world, making a difference, ect. I know that through the Lord I can fulfill my dreams and have a family someday. So I will leave it up to him.

 

Dear single digits..

I love you! Especially when it means that my sweetheart will be coming home in 8 days!! Im going to be the happiest girl in the world come next Thursday :] Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!

       How lucky is he to come home to this stylish girl?? ;]

Dear realization..

I always get ideas in my head about really good posts on here and when it finally comes down to actually writing out, I get writers block. I always want to make sure I get what Im trying to say across in the right way. I have the hardest time showing my emotions, let alone, writing about them. So here it goes, Im gonna try to blog through my emotions.

As I read through others blogs, I realize, this is not real life. Life isnt always about the happy times. We wouldnt know the good times without the bad. I want to read a blog that isnt afraid to show people what life is really about, happy or sad. I want to get inspiration from others when I need it the most. That is why I am posting about the hardest goodbye for me...


Looking back, the past two years (almost) have flown by. But on June 25, 2008 I thought that time stood still. I think I laid in bed for most of the day, with Steph trying to convince me to get up and atleast shower...ew. I couldnt stand the thought of getting up, going out or even talking to anyone. All I wanted to do was sleep so that time would go faster. I always told myself that I would never send off a missionary. I obviously didnt learn too well from watching my sisters heartbreak. For those that havent had a missionary, there is no way to explain the emptyness you feel in heart. I was happy to be there for him and to support him but never knew how difficult that it would be. Ill admit that I screamed when I got my first letter from him in the mail. There is no words to explain how I feel each time I get a letter. I am so proud of him for making the decision to go on a mission but it still hurts to not be with him; to put your love on hold. Thankfully, being apart gets easier with time. I still have hard days every once in a while where all I want is to just speak to him. Lucky for me, I only have 50 days till my heart is whole again. Till I get to see his smile. Till I get to laugh with him. Till we get to be together again. I dont know what I did to deserve this amazing man but I am grateful for his worthiness to serve a mission and for showing me the difference between the good things in life and the bad...

Dear 100 more sleeps..

I cannot wait till it is down to 0 more sleeps because that will mean that my sweetheart is home already!! It is crazy to me how fast the past 14 months have FLOWN by. Before I know it, May will be here. I am so proud of my adorable missionary and all the lives he has blessed in Idaho. It will be amazing to see the growth that has taken place and the man he has become. Roll on May 20th :]

distance is not for the fearful.

it is for the bold.

it is for those who know a good thing when they see it.

even when they don't see it enough.

dear life lesson..

I have cried all the tears I could possibly cry. I have replayed the "situation" over and over again. I am incedibly sick to my stomache over todays events and it hasn't quite hit me yet that I just quit my job. I've hit my breaking point.  I am extremely sad over my decision, yet I feel a great sense of relief. What this job has really taught me over the last year is to always stand up for myself and that it is okay to cry. I will never settle for less than I deserve. I wish so badly to forget about this day and begin the new chapter in my life but I know it will take some time. I will greatly miss those that I have laughed and cried with. The people you work with become a part of you, and I feel like I am leaving behinde so many great friendships. I can only hope that they don't think I just gave up. This was something I loved to do. I will miss the little things about Mesa Air. Such as Louise on the radio, the sound of Dash 8's, B1 gate, late night tug rides, the digusting smell of rampers :), passengers asking idiotic questions, Pibb and fries, & collecting paperwork. As ridiculous as it may be, these are the reasons that I cry. I am realizing that life isn't always as perfect as some of these blogs make it out to be. So tonight, I am going to be sad...

My Best Friend is Home...

          and I'm a happy girl !

CUTEST Missionary Award!

Today marks Elder Leonard's 5 months on the Mish! So I thought I would do a little tribute to my hard-working missionary! He is currently serving in Boise, Idaho and has just had another baptism. He loves the work and serving in the area hes in. 

Before he left, everyone told me it would "fly by". I would always just laugh at them and think "yeah you probably werent the girlfriend either". But I can truly say it has started to go by quickly! I cant believe it. Im soooo proud of him and the sacrifices he has made to be able to serve the Lord and be where he is. Of course it is difficult at times but I know it will all be worth it in the end.