Today You Are Twelve...

Dear Miles,

Another year, and you just keep getting taller, kinder, and funnier. You’ve talked a lot about growing pains—both physical and emotional—and you really have had to adjust to a lot of changes. You switched schools from Ignite Academy to North Point Elementary, just a block from our house, which meant you got to start walking to and from school! It took time to get used to a new building, a new way of doing things, a new teacher, and new friends. But you did it. You found your place. On top of that, you’ve had to get used to not seeing your best friend every day and to Mom switching jobs. As the year has gone on, you’ve gotten braver and more flexible, and I’m really proud of you.

This year you also donated eight inches of your hair to Locks of Love. I think it’s so cool that you were willing to chop off your hair to help another kid. That kind of generosity and courage says a lot about who you are.

Something I love about you, Miles, is that no matter how old and big you get, you still want to snuggle with me and spend time together. You love going on little dates with me. You love joking around with me and you need regular hugs. Even when it’s late at night and I’m telling you over and over and over again to GO TO BED, you still keep coming back for one more goodnight hug. You’re my velcro child, and I love it. We have such a similar sense of humor, and it’s so fun to joke around and be weird together.

I can’t believe you’re out of the little kid stage. It’s weird, because I still see you as my little boy, but then I remember you’re a big tween now. You love playing with your friends on the computer and in VR. When you help Dad or me with projects or jobs, you work really hard and you’re so thorough. You love being useful and helpful. You still enjoy building Lego cars and proudly displaying them on the shelves in your room (which are now full). You go to your young men activities and have a lot of fun spending time with your quorum and leaders.

Miles, this next year might bring a few more big changes—some we know about and some we don’t. You’ll probably have challenges that will mean practicing even more flexibility and patience. You’ll probably be getting braces soon, and you’ll be graduating from elementary school and moving on to junior high. It’s going to be a big growing year for you. Just remember that you will always have our family to support you and that your Heavenly Father is always there to help you.

Kiddo, I love you so much. I’m proud of the young man you are and the person you’re becoming. You’re such a good son and friend and brother. You are my baby and you always will be. I hope you have an amazing day.

All My Love,
Mama

Today You Are Eighteen...

Dear Cruise, 

 The day has arrived: you're officially an adult! My, how the years have flown. And yet, I feel like I’ve soaked up every bit of the goodness you've brought into my life over the past eighteen years. Through all the struggles,tears, and worries, my greatest memories are filled with joy, laughter, simplicity, and love. As I’ve looked through the thousands of photos I’ve taken of you, I’m reminded of each stage, each one full of wonder and curiosity. Your love of space, then science, birds, and Pokémon. I’ve been there for your happiest moments and your most heartbreaking ones. I’ve stood in awe as your testimony and relationship with your Savior and Heavenly Father have deepened and grown. 

I often think back to when you were just a toddler and going to church was really hard. Back then it was a three-hour block, and you just couldn't sit still. It was too loud, too slow, too people-y. Your dad and I would spend most of the time walking around the building with you. I struggled in that ward, with the people and with the Bishop. It didn't feel welcoming, and I didn't have close friends. Every Sunday morning I’d wake up and cry, knowing we were heading into another difficult Sabbath day. There was a point where I seriously considered stopping church altogether. I prayed about it constantly. I felt like none of us were getting anything out of it except stress and exhaustion. But one day, after another desperate prayer, I got a very clear answer: Keep going. Don’t give up. I was promised that if we kept attending, we would be blessed, especially you and your brothers. So we kept going. It didn't get easier for a while, but we stayed. And now, when I see you sitting in the pew, feeling the Spirit, walking to the pulpit to share your testimony, or pausing to pray when you need direction or comfort, I think back to that moment. Back then, I couldn't see past the next Sunday, but God could. He knew how hard it was, and how discouraged I felt. But He also knew who you were becoming: one of His strongest warriors. I’m in awe of you. I admire your desire and willingness to serve a mission. Ever since you were little, you've wanted to serve. Just remember, when things get hard, when you question your testimony or feel overwhelmed by what the Lord asks of you, remember that Mom did too. I made a choice, and it has blessed our whole family. You will be blessed too. 

Your senior year of high school gave you a chance to relax a little and try new things. Becoming a Peer Tutor was such a powerful experience for you. You told me how it gave you insight—that you understood what it was like to be in Special Ed and also what it was like to be on the outside looking in. That kind of empathy is rare, and it brought you to tears. It made you a better Peer Tutor, and it made you an advocate for those who can’t always advocate for themselves. 

This past year, you graduated high school with all A’s and made the Honor Roll. You faced hard choices and chose to find a job instead of going straight to college. That decision led you to cashiering at Target, a job you genuinely enjoy. You’re such a hard worker, and you light up when you're serving others, whether that’s helping customers, handing out stickers to kids, or just connecting with people. You’re discovering what you love and what you don’t. You’re learning who you are in the grown-up world. (Spoiler alert: no one ever fully figures it out, we’re all still learning and growing, and that’s okay.) As you step into adulthood, you'll make decisions that shape your life in unexpected ways. But I promise, if you make those choices prayerfully, with the Spirit as your guide, even the hard ones will lead you where you're meant to be. 

Cruise, young adulthood is such an exciting time. You have a new freedom that’s thrilling, but also a little daunting. It’s like learning how to walk all over again except now you have bills. Ha! But truly, this can be one of the most fun and transformative times of your life. Here are three pieces of advice I want you to give you: 

1. Serve. Serving others not only helps them, it changes you. It will bring you closer to your Savior and help you become more like Him. 

2. Travel. See the world. Experience new cultures, places, and people. It will broaden your mind and soften your heart. Once you're married with kids, it becomes harder, so go now, while you can. 

3. Have fun! Find your people. Develop hobbies. Try new things. Laugh a lot. Enjoy the moment. 

Cruise, I love you. I love your kindness. I love your morning hugs and your goodnight hugs. I love that you thank me for feeding you, even when the meal wasn’t your favorite. I love that you’re obedient and help out, whether it’s cleaning the bathroom or walking Charles (even when you’d rather not). I love that you love your brothers and want to be with them. I love that you think and feel deeply, that you question and explore things you don’t understand. I love that you advocate for yourself and speak up when something isn’t right—that’s rare and brave. I love that when you say “I love you,” it’s with that huge smile you’ve had since you were a baby. Pure and full of love. 

I will always be here for you. Dad and I will always be in your corner. You’re a man now, with a wide-open life ahead of you. But you’ll always be my baby—the little boy with a backpack full of toys, heading off on an adventure. Fearless. 

God gave me the most important job in the world: to be your mom. I hope I haven’t traumatized you too much. I am so incredibly amazed by who you are and the man you're becoming. You are good, Cruise. You’re a good man. And I am so proud to call you my son. It is the greatest honor of my life to be your Mom. 

 Happy 18th Birthday, Cruise. I just love you, so very, very much. 

Love, 

Mom

Today You Are Fifteen

Dear Jett, This was a rough year for you. But also a year of incredible growth. You broke your collarbone and wrist over spring break. You had to go through the pain and discomfort of healing and not as quickly as you would've liked. You've had to endure stomach pain and months of feeling sick and not knowing what's wrong. We still don't know what's wrong. You have been brave and strong even when you have felt like you were falling apart. But I'm grateful that you are here no matter what state you are in. I just love you.

This summer you began marching band as a contra. It was really hard at first, but you kept going. You didn't have as much muscle at the start, but you built and built and built and now the tuba isn't heavy to you. You spent the summer in the intense heat, being pushed for hours as you carried and threw around 50 pounds of heavy metal. You got to participate in competition after competition. It was so much fun to go to all of them. I could hear you from the stands and I was proud every time. You learned what it is to do hard things and found that you can do incredible things if you keep going.

Fourteen and fifteen, as I remember, were hard ages. At least for me. It's a lot of growing, both physically and emotionally. It's a lot of discovering who you are, what you believe, and the kind of person you want to become. It's a lot of confusion and feelings of overwhelm and sometimes dispair. But it won't always feel like that. Just remember that you are a son of God and you are loved so very much.

It is an exciting year for you though. You are getting your driver's permit, which you are incredibly excited about. You are determined to find a job but frustrated that most people don't hire 15 year olds. I'm confident you'll find something. You're going to be joining the jazz band at school playing bass trombone, and that's super exciting! Music has been a huge influence these past few years and I'm really happy you've found something that you love, that you're good at, and that brings you joy.

You've really gotten into computers this past year and have become the in-house computer guy. You're always fixing our computers or improving them. Any time you go with me to D.I., we always end up leaving with a computer or a monitor for you to fix or tear apart. For your birthday and Christmas you've asked for computer parts to build your own computer. I have a hard time saying "no" to you, so I won't.

Jett, just as always, I'm really proud of you and in awe of who you are. I am always so grateful I get to spend time with you. I love that you like to run errands with me or go on dates with me. I love the little moments that we get to just have a conversation or a quick exchange. I love your sense of humor and how you can always make me laugh. Like, really laugh. I love that you are considerate and observant. You help me in so many ways and I always appreciate the time you take to think of others. More than anything, I just love YOU. Who you are now. Of course I see all the potential you have, but I guess part of loving your kids is loving them for who they are at that moment in their lives. You're only 15 once, and I really love you at 15. Just how I loved you at 4 or how I'll love you at 36. You're an incredible person and I hope you know just how much you are loved and admired. I literally and figuritvely look up to you. Thank you for being my son. I feel overwhelmingly blessed and lucky to be your mom.

Happy Birthday, Jett. I love you. Love, Ma

Today You Are Eleven

Dear Miles,

It feels like eleven is kind of that border between childhood and teen years, and although it's been creeping up on us, I still think you're my little three year old toddler dancing and playing and making faces for the camera. The realization that coming up in just a few short months, you'll be receiving the Priesthood, passing sacrament, and attending the temple, it's kind of thrown me a little. Being my youngest, everything with you is the last for me. This is the last 11th birthday we'll be celebrating in our home. It's the last 5th grade class I'll attend parent teacher conferences for. You're the last kid to be shorter than me. So you growing up is especially bittersweet for me. But I guess the positive in all that is that I am really trying to soak it all in: the feelings and the experiences of this age. 

Miles, you are a Mama's boy, and I hope that will always be the case. You are so quick to give me hugs and kisses. You still want me to tuck you in at night, and you miss me terribly when I'm away. You want snuggles and stories and me just to listen to you. And despite me sometimes not really knowing what on earth you're talking about, the fact that you are talking to me about something so incredibly exciting for you, is heaven. 

You are so incredibly smart, Miles. Sometimes too smart. So smart that I regularly feel like I'm not doing a good-enough job finding a great schooling situation for you. You test above your peers and it can be frustrating for you to feel like school is too easy or boring. But, I am so enamored at the fact that you so willingly help your classmates with their math, to the point that you organized your own math tutoring group. You love to help other people achieve and succeed.

You're a good friend and brother. You have friends that love spending time and playing with you. I get texts from parents saying you're such a good kid and that they hope you rub off on their kiddos. You love playing with your brothers when they give you their time, and they love spending that time with you. You are funny and creative and a good problem solver. You love to help dad with any of his projects and you want so much to be like him when you grow up. I hope you are.  

You love going on adventures, camping, wakeboarding, swimming, playing baseball, snowmobiling and snowboarding, and trying new things. You face your fears even when it's terrifying. You feel deeply and empathetically. You love giving and making a difference. You love to feel needed and to have a purpose. You love animals and want to be a veterinarian or zoologist when you grow up. You are so many things, but most importantly, you are a child of God. And you're my amazing son, Miles.  

I hope this coming year, you will continue to grow in emotional strength and kindness. I hope you will be able to mature in a way that brings others to Christ and be an example of goodness. I am so incredibly grateful to have you as my son and I am so lucky to be your mom. You are beautiful inside and out. I hope you always know how much Dad and I love you, and how much your parents in Heaven love you. You are unique and special and I am proud of the young man you are becoming. 

Happy Birthday, my great, big, baby boy!

All My Love,

Mom

Today You Are Seventeen

Lately I've been flipping through pictures in my mind of the past 17 years. Your first crawl, first steps. Your favorite shows: Curious George & Veggie Tales. Your first day of Preschool. Your general excitement for life. Your dreams of becoming great things like an astronaut, scientist, artist, film producer. You've always been determined and motivated by dreams. I've watched you change passions and plans. I've seen the emotional toll of autism and neurodivergence that affects you so deeply. But I also see someone who is strong and pushes through; overcoming obstacles in his own way, at his own pace. I see wonder and endless options and possibilities. 

You've spent the past year growing, working out your emotions and plans. Figuring out who you are and who you want to be. I've seen you wrestle with the Spirit as you come to know your Savior and His love for you. Your testimony has grown and when you share it, my mother heart bursts and I am in awe of you and the person you are and who you're becoming.

You're seventeen now. It's your last year that you are legally a child. But son, you will always be my child, whether 4, 17, 45, or 60. You'll always be my baby. You'll always be my big, brown-eyed boy with the biggest smile and the most gentle love. 

This being your senior year in high school has me a little apprehensive. I'm half mourning and half proud and excited. I always hated when people would look at the crazy little boys crawling all over me and well-meaningly said, "It goes so fast." But kiddo, it really has gone so fast. The days were long, some longer than others, but the years really did pass in a blink of an eye. 

As a mom, I have tried so hard to enjoy all the moments, and appreciate the now; to love you as you are in that stage of your life. Obviously I haven't been perfect at it, but I hope as you get older you realize just how much you are loved and wanted and needed. You are loved because you're you. Not because you're handsome, funny, smart, interesting, kind, spiritual, talented, and fun to be around. Those all are things that describe you. But Cruise, you are loved simply because you are you. You are mine. All of those descriptions could fall away and I would love you just the same. You are the greatest thing I've ever done. 

I gave birth to you when I was super young and needed a lot more experience. You came along and we became a little team. I helped you grow, just as you helped me. In a very real sense, we raised each other. We didn't do too bad if I do say so myself. But now that you are on your way to finishing high school, I don't quite know what to do. I don't really know how to be a mom to an adult, so that's going to have to be another thing we do together. We gotta be on each other's team and lift each other up.

I love watching you grow and work through things that are hard or unpleasant. I love learning about you every day. I love our Mom & Son dates where you to tell me about your ideas and thoughts and current projects while we eat ice cream or do some other activity. I love that you greet me with a hug and say goodbye with an excited wave and huge smile across your face. 

This next year is going to be a year of big decisions, but just know that no matter what you choose, I will always be here to cheer you on and support you. There is nothing you can't do. I am so proud of you Cruise. You're amazing and I love you so much!

Happy Birthday, Cruise!

Love,

Mom 

Today You Are Fourteen

 Dear Jett,

I feel like we just celebrated your 13th birthday a few weeks ago, but apparently it's been a whole year! Before you know it, you'll be driving and dating and graduating and...leaving me. But I'm getting ahead of myself...14! Wow! 

Jett, there really is nobody quite like you. You are wise beyond your years and have such a good head on your shoulders. You're kind, considerate, empathetic, and forgiving. You're so smart and talented. You're funny and handsome. You're all the good things.

Something I love that you do is when I am leaving to run an errand or pick up your little brother from school, you ask if you can come with me. I love spending that time with you, even if we're just looking at a funny meme or listening to the radio. I know these days will eventually be gone and you'll be off, living your own life, but until then, I am going to enjoy every second I have with you. 

You started playing tuba this year and you've gotten so good! I'm so impressed at the progress you've made and that you were able to get into Wind Symphony, that's quite an accomplishment! And I love that you love it. I'm so proud of you for sticking with it and practicing as much as you can. It's a lot of fun for me to hear you perform and even just practice at home. 

You've also gotten so good at wakeboarding. It's crazy how quickly you learned to jump the wake and kept trying over and over again. I know Dad loves that you enjoy going out on the boat with him and asking him for tips on how to improve. 

You also have so much talent when it comes to problem solving, especially when it comes to computers. You are brave enough to take computers apart and fix them. I'm scared just pushing a few buttons, but removing tiny screws and pulling stuff out of a computer would terrify me. It's amazing.

I've loved going on a few Mom & Son dates this year. I feel bad we didn't get to do a lot more of them, but I love that we both love good food. It's a lot of fun to go on lunch dates with someone who can talk about how to cook a burger perfectly or what kind of sauces are best on nachos. Or what makes a Dirty Dough cookie the best. You continually impress me with your food and cooking knowledge. It was really kind and selfless of you to cook an entire Valentine's meal for the family and then later for Cruise and his prom date. You made the most amazing steaks, scallops, and mashed potatoes. I'll never be able to recreate what you do.

Jett, 8th grade is probably one of the hardest years, but you have really gone into it confident and strong. You've made good friends and have made good choices. You are active in your Quorum at church and find joy in the gospel. You're such a Christlike young man and a great example to everyone around you, and I am just so proud of you.

Keep doing what you're doing, kid. I wish I could take all the credit for how amazing you are, but like I always say, you just came that way. You're such a wonderful son and a fun brother. You find joy in serving others and spending time with your family. For your birthday this year, you insisted on just having a family party. You wanted to see the new Hunger Games movie and go out to eat at Wallaby's, just us. I love that you're in our family. It just wouldn't be the same without you. 

Happy Birthday my incredibly wonderful teenager. I am forever grateful to be your Mom.

Love,

Bruh

just kidding...

Love,

Ma