Ballerina's and Acrobats

Shine bright like a Diamond...
Our girls definitely Shine. They have personalities that are not dull by any means, such charming, lovely little ladies, and graceful dancers as well. They just had their dance recital. Both girls have acquired such grace and stage presence, especially this past year. Ashlynne is so graceful, and definitely a ballerina, yet their Acro number showed such commanding presence, focus, strength, skill that left me with goosebumps. One lift especially had me holding my breath, heart beating out of my chest, and once completed, heard myself cheering/screaming/clapping with such relief. Reason being, there are only two other pairs on the Acro team that are skilled enough to do. Her and her base, Aislynne, have now mastered it. It was no small feat, seeing how they tried the lift 3 practices before recital. Can I tell you this Mom was a bit, no, exceedingly nervous. No, actually, I was completely freaked out about this lift that requires so much was thrown in with only 3 practices to perfect it. I will admit I actually felt sick before hand, and tears rimmed my eyes upon completion. She is living her dream, and I am so happy about that. Everyone should have that opportunity. She lives and breaths dance and Acro. Oh, and she won an award for most improved dancer of the year!! I was a basket case when they announced her name. Cryin' like a lil' baby!!
McKynzie owned the stage, and there was no sign of stage fright, of which I was wondering when/if it might plague her. She wore the biggest smile, and completed each move to perfection, and mouthed along with the words of the song. I had a smile so big my eyes were squinted. She has come so far this year. She has the most perfect toe point you have ever seen, and ballet moves that don't look like she's only 3.
They are definitely performers. They got to wear makeup, of which they were both very proud. Our girls have THE longest eyelashes, especially MNM. Her eyelashes have a quarter inch of translucent length of which I was oblivious to, until mascara. I couldn't believe the length of her lashes!! It looked like she had extensions. Amanda Miller would have been so proud!!

Here are a few pics from their picture session. And no, they weren't wearing makeup for the pics, just recital!

ATM Ballet

ATM acro

 MNM Ballet/jazz

My Grandma

Have you ever seen the movie "The Notebook"? That is my Grandpa and Grandma's story. It could have been written about them, except  it wasn't Ryan Gosling, or Rachel McAdams. It was my Grandpa and Grandma. And, Grandpa kept her home to lovingly care for her. Grandpa couldn't bear the thought of sending her somewhere for someone else to take care of her. Neither could I. But, watching a very real live "The Notebook" will tear your heart out. It isn't for the faint of heart. It was true love. Completely unconditional, romance novel love.

There are sometimes that words just aren't enough. Memories aren't either. However, memories can be God's way of healing your heart when someone you loves passes on. My Grandma passed away, and thankfully, went peacefully.

It was thirteen months ago that her health required Grandpa to cared for her, full time while she was bedridden. Grandpa was/is such a saint. His love for her is a bit like God's love for us, only on a small, human scale. I don't think there was ever anyone love someone like Grandpa loved Grandma. He never once thought of himself, only her, with every breath she took. Her mind wasn't as sharp as it once was, but I respected her so much. Maybe because she loved me regardless of me. She believed the best, and was so proud of me, even with my terrible buck teeth. She thought I was the best at everything. The best pianist, which I was NOT, the best soccer player, the best granddaughter. She made each one of her grand kids feel the same way. Like they were the only ones in the world who mattered to her. She knew all my secrets, every crush I ever had, and she was there the very first time Dustin came to see me on the fourth of July. We sat in the car and gushed about how cute he was, how much he liked me. She told me that she "loved how his eyes were so true, that he was a guy with integrity, she could tell that you could trust him". She loved Dustin so much, as she said he was Grandpa's younger twin. He is alot like my Grandpa. She and I always said we were the lucky ones. Dustin and I got married in June, and we picked that date because they married in June, and I am sappy like that!

I also have never used any dish soap except for Ivory, because that's what she always used, and because I am sappy like that!

We shared the same love for shopping, shoes, perfume, candles, diaries, clothes, and pretty rings. I wore her wedding ring from the time I understood what a ring was. She had always asked what I wanted of hers. I simply wanted her ring. And her watch. My dad had gotten her a watch that had tiny turquoise tiles for the watchband. It is the little things that matter the most. To me anyway. 

She cooked all of my favorite things. She made the most amazing cheese dip. Still a family fave. 

She loved Christmas. It was both of our favorite holiday. It was a production at her house. And her Christmas Jello! I love that stuff. And George Strait. I don't even like George Strait, except that she loved him, and for some reason, I like the songs of his she always played. I still play them. I am sappy like that! 

She made me the knitted slippers with the pom pom on the top. She made herself some to match. 

Mornings at their house smelled like Folgers coffee and orange juice, ham, eggs, and biscuits. 

She had a hand-held mirror, with a rose on it, hand painted by her friend Joann. I loved that mirror. 

She didn't allow shoes worn in the house. By anyone. 

She loved birds, especially cardinals. And her Sandalwood fan. It actually was made from Sandalwood. It Smelled amazing. I get my smelling things from her. She smelled everything. 

She loved it when I sang. She thought I was great. I thought she needed her hearing checked. 

She loved pretty dishes. And antiques. And Cashews. And shoes. Oh how she loved shoes!

Visits to Grandma's house always included a shopping trip to The Hester house. I take the girls shopping there, just for memories sake. 

She never allowed anyone, ever, to sit on the bed once it was made. Except for Ashlynne. She put Ashlynne on her bed, and snapped pictures. Grandpa didn't know what to think. Neither did we. 

She loved all of us so much, and never hesitated to show it. After I got married, I called them almost every day. She was the best person to talk to. When her memory worsened, it made me cherish our conversations even more. As time passed, the conversations changed, and sometimes I would have to remind her who I was. So each time I would remind her it was me, she would exclaim how happy she was that I had called. I would hear that several times in a single conversation, and it always made me smile. She was glad I called. When her health took a turn for the worse last year, we went to visit. We weren't sure how long she would make it, so we said goodbyes. She didn't know who we were at that point. It was so hard, but I curled up on the bed beside her, and poured my heart out. I cried, cried, cried. I was holding her hand, and she looked at me, reached up, touched my face, drying my tears and said " What's the matter honey? Don't cry, it's ok. I love you."  I held her hand to my face, wanting that moment to last forever, tears streaming down my face. She knew, if only for a moment, it was me.

As Thanksgiving approaches, I have so much to be thankful for. Grandma, for one. I am thankful that she didn't die when she had liver cancer, but that we got so many years with her after that. I am thankful that I got to talk and sing to her one final time, three hours before she passed. I am thankful she didn't suffer. I am thankful for the example of Grandpa and Grandma's love to us. They were married for 64 years. That's more  years than I can comprehend. I am so beyond thankful that she was my Grandma. There is a void in our hearts this holiday season, and it won't be the same. But I cherish each memory I have of her, and cherish the time with the family I have. I was loved by her, and I had a bond with her that most girls don't have with their Grandma. I have learned from the best, and I hope I can be a Grandma one tenth as good as her. She was amazing. I love you, Gram. And I miss you more then words will ever say.

"MOMMY, YOU'RE MARRIED????!!"

I often wonder what things mean in little minds, Tiny Tot's in particular. Out of NOWHERE today, Cookie yells in her most excited voice "MOMMY, YOU'RE MARRIED???!!!" My mind was trying to figure out what the context of this question was, and where did it come from. If you know Cookie at all, you know why this seemingly out of nowhere. I answered her in MY most excited voice " Yes!! I am!" And she squeals "Can I see it?!!" I cracked up laughing, my mind still wanting to know where this train of thought was headed, and where did it come from. I said "Aww honey, you can't see me being married, but I will show you pictures of our wedding." So I got out our album, and she began flipping through the pages, Ahhing and Ooohing at 'Mommy's beautyful dress'. She recognized most of the family, except for Uncle RaRa. She laughed when she found out who it was, and insisted that it was most definately NOT her Uncle RaRa. She turns to the pictures of Dustin and yells, with eyes open as wide as if she has just discovered the biggest secret of all time, "Daddy is married TOO??!!" I was rolling with laughter and answered her that yes, Daddy was married to me, and we love each other soo much. My phone rang just then, and it was Dustin. I was still laughing and he wanted to know why. As I started to tell him, McKynzie runs up to me, using her McKynzie voice, and says "Is that my daddy?" I told her that it was indeed her daddy. She asked to talk with him"too tell him that he is MARRIED!" After Dustin got home, Cookie randomly tells him, still in shock, "Daddy, you're married!" He couldn't hold back the laughter, and asked her who he was married to. She stopped like right now, and tilts her head to the side, wrinkled her eyebrows, and nose, and says "What are you married to?!" I am dying to know what she thinks "married" is! We explained to her that we were married to each other. I thought she got it, but she still is completely puzzled about it.

How?

As I watched McKynzie (whom I have affectionately nicknamed "Tiny Tot" and "Cookie") sleep tonight, I marveled at her, and wondered how, when I kiss her goodnight and whisper so softly that "I love you baby girl, and I love being your mommy. You are so special to me. No matter what you do, I am proud of you." that Cookie whispers back, in a dead sleep, "I love you mommy". How can her brain still be processing even during sleep? It amazes me. I know their brains never stop, but it still is fascinating. How do they know where the edges of the bed are, and never (mostly never) fall off the bed during sleep? She will reach out, feeling for her Blankie, and pull it to her, and "arrange" it until it is (what I call wadded) what her sleeping brain decides is perfect. Tiny Tot then specifically drapes it over one shoulder, then adjusts it until the careful amount of Blankie is meticulously placed. I mistakenly placed her pillow on her bed with McQueen pillowcase upside down. She went into a panic. "Mommy, mommy! No, McQueen can't be upside down. We have to turn him. Fix it, mommy." She wouldn't rest her weary head on the pillow with McQueen in such distress. Such a dramatic disturbance to the bedtime ritual! I righted McQueen straight away, and she lovingly rubbed her little hands over him and said "there you go." As she centered her head perfectly on the pillow like she does,  I silently whispered a prayer, thanking God for giving her to us. Watching her sleep brought back memories. And emotions. Memories of  the sickening feeling that engulfed me when at 5mos pregnant with her, I realized that the 'cirque du soleil moves' had been frighteningly absent for 2 or 3 days. When the Dr. couldn't find the heartbeat, the overwhelming devastation was more then I could bear. Dustin and I sat in the Dr office, sobbing, unable to speak . I pleaded with God. How could we face life without this little baby, whom we have never even held yet loved more then life itself? The tears of relief and thankfulness, came like a torrential downpour when, during the emergency ultra sound they found her little heartbeat. I knew we would never forget that moment and the blessing of life that she is. She has brought so much laughter and "happy happy joy joy" to our lives. I would have missed out on so much without my Cookie. I have learned so much from this little girl. She is the most perfect little baby. Almost 3yr old baby, but our baby. I love you, Cookie!

The Marsh girls!

Easter egg hunts!

Apparently one had chocolate in it!

Hmmmm... Can't tell if this was before the potty break!

Sisters!

Pretty!

Goofy sisters!

Beautiful baby!

Posers!!

Pretty profile!

Pretty Smile!

Big Sis's pretty smile!  

Easter egg toenails.

Jumpin!

Jumpin so high!

I LOVE that face!

She always has a headband, and those boots are SUPER cool.

 her favorite, they light up!

And this one!

Just woke up!

Have you ever...

                                                Have you ever kissed a face THIS cute?!

...Worn a hat and looked this good in it?!

...Or looked this adorable doing nothing?!

...Seen such a smile?!

...Arranged the ceramic ducks/statues in the yard?

...Seen such crazy hair?!

                                                     ... Loved a ceramic duck so much?!

...Used garbage bags to parachute off of the playhouse?!

                                                     ...Looked this cute when you whistled?!

                                            
                                    ...Been so attached to a swim instructor that three weeks
                                            later you still cry and beg for him to come back?!
                                                                   ( me neither) :)

                                  ...Preferred to leave a tooth hanging rather than pull it out?!

...Made faces at your sister?!

...Had your best friend in your swim lessons?

...Had two students jumping in at you at the same time?!