"MOMMY, YOU'RE MARRIED????!!"

I often wonder what things mean in little minds, Tiny Tot's in particular. Out of NOWHERE today, Cookie yells in her most excited voice "MOMMY, YOU'RE MARRIED???!!!" My mind was trying to figure out what the context of this question was, and where did it come from. If you know Cookie at all, you know why this seemingly out of nowhere. I answered her in MY most excited voice " Yes!! I am!" And she squeals "Can I see it?!!" I cracked up laughing, my mind still wanting to know where this train of thought was headed, and where did it come from. I said "Aww honey, you can't see me being married, but I will show you pictures of our wedding." So I got out our album, and she began flipping through the pages, Ahhing and Ooohing at 'Mommy's beautyful dress'. She recognized most of the family, except for Uncle RaRa. She laughed when she found out who it was, and insisted that it was most definately NOT her Uncle RaRa. She turns to the pictures of Dustin and yells, with eyes open as wide as if she has just discovered the biggest secret of all time, "Daddy is married TOO??!!" I was rolling with laughter and answered her that yes, Daddy was married to me, and we love each other soo much. My phone rang just then, and it was Dustin. I was still laughing and he wanted to know why. As I started to tell him, McKynzie runs up to me, using her McKynzie voice, and says "Is that my daddy?" I told her that it was indeed her daddy. She asked to talk with him"too tell him that he is MARRIED!" After Dustin got home, Cookie randomly tells him, still in shock, "Daddy, you're married!" He couldn't hold back the laughter, and asked her who he was married to. She stopped like right now, and tilts her head to the side, wrinkled her eyebrows, and nose, and says "What are you married to?!" I am dying to know what she thinks "married" is! We explained to her that we were married to each other. I thought she got it, but she still is completely puzzled about it.

How?

As I watched McKynzie (whom I have affectionately nicknamed "Tiny Tot" and "Cookie") sleep tonight, I marveled at her, and wondered how, when I kiss her goodnight and whisper so softly that "I love you baby girl, and I love being your mommy. You are so special to me. No matter what you do, I am proud of you." that Cookie whispers back, in a dead sleep, "I love you mommy". How can her brain still be processing even during sleep? It amazes me. I know their brains never stop, but it still is fascinating. How do they know where the edges of the bed are, and never (mostly never) fall off the bed during sleep? She will reach out, feeling for her Blankie, and pull it to her, and "arrange" it until it is (what I call wadded) what her sleeping brain decides is perfect. Tiny Tot then specifically drapes it over one shoulder, then adjusts it until the careful amount of Blankie is meticulously placed. I mistakenly placed her pillow on her bed with McQueen pillowcase upside down. She went into a panic. "Mommy, mommy! No, McQueen can't be upside down. We have to turn him. Fix it, mommy." She wouldn't rest her weary head on the pillow with McQueen in such distress. Such a dramatic disturbance to the bedtime ritual! I righted McQueen straight away, and she lovingly rubbed her little hands over him and said "there you go." As she centered her head perfectly on the pillow like she does,  I silently whispered a prayer, thanking God for giving her to us. Watching her sleep brought back memories. And emotions. Memories of  the sickening feeling that engulfed me when at 5mos pregnant with her, I realized that the 'cirque du soleil moves' had been frighteningly absent for 2 or 3 days. When the Dr. couldn't find the heartbeat, the overwhelming devastation was more then I could bear. Dustin and I sat in the Dr office, sobbing, unable to speak . I pleaded with God. How could we face life without this little baby, whom we have never even held yet loved more then life itself? The tears of relief and thankfulness, came like a torrential downpour when, during the emergency ultra sound they found her little heartbeat. I knew we would never forget that moment and the blessing of life that she is. She has brought so much laughter and "happy happy joy joy" to our lives. I would have missed out on so much without my Cookie. I have learned so much from this little girl. She is the most perfect little baby. Almost 3yr old baby, but our baby. I love you, Cookie!