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I fucking don't understand fucking Physics. How the fuck do you combine both Kinematics with Forces? What the fucking fuck? I've been staring at this worksheet for nearly an hour and a half, and still can't fucking understand. The notes are fucking useless too. UGH. FUCK IT.
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*washes mouth out with soap* Please excuse my vulgarity today - I think I'm about to cry in frustration, actually. I hate not being able to understand concepts! It makes me feel ridiculously simple-minded and stupid. -_- So, to distract my murderous and flesh-eating thoughts, here's a brief anecdote from school, during the glorious time known as Lunch. (Really, it isn't quite as glorious anymore, considering that Ms. Smith has voodooed our names and souls into the black confines of her heart, and now all the Chemistry students are obliged trudge to the lab for extra Chemistry despite our deep hatred for the subject).
It was Friday, and the fact that Zeus was being rather ostentatious that day with his lightening and rain, Lucy, Hayoung, and I stayed indoor for lunch. (Nevermind the reality that we always stay inside for lunch in Ms. Hart's science lab...we like to disillusion ourselves into thinking that we're outgoing and social people.) Let us first become acquainted with the sheer awesomeness that is Ms. Hart: she's in her mid-thirties, quite attractive (or at least, I think sono matter how disturbing that might be), and has the most gruesome, pessimistic, and fantastic sense of humour. Ever. Ms. Hart and I get along quite nicely, and although she's not my teacher anymore, we see each other quite often. As it were, that Friday was one of those "quite often" moments when I saw her.
I had tentatively brought up the subject of the study that was done in the University of Texas about "WHY WOMEN HAVE SEX". Apparently, there's an extreme difference between "how women have sex", "when women have sex", and "what type of people do women have sex with" compared to "WHY WOMEN HAVE SEX". I find it absurd that no one has done a study on this topic before (or they're lying through their scientific teeth), and the reasons of WHY were astounding - and fucking amusing. The researchers at the U of T interviewed and surveyed women from the ages of 18 to 87 (Ms. Hart was horrified that women at that age were even active; I told her that she should start planning early if she didn't want to be end up alone and miserable in her later years), and some of the results ranged from:
- revenge (Person X loves Person Y, but Y turns out to be a fat, hairy douchebag, so X sleeps with Person Z and ends up with herpes. The end).
- boredom (Person X, bored with the daily routines of coffee breaks and gentle filler conversation, decides to rape-jump Person Y into the wall. Wait...is it chloroform that I smell?)
- physical pleasure (Um...duh? I have so much faith in the scientific community.)
- love and wanting a deeper connection with their partner (no comment on this one).
- pity for the sex partner (Person X says, "Golly gee, Person Y! You're horribly ugly and smell like a rat that's been rolling in the gutter for the past decade. You've probably never been laid. Not even fondled. Not even touched. I feel that it is within my female, sentimental heart to boost your manly ego and self-esteem by touching, hugging, and fucking you. Yes." Then later, Person Y will brag to his buddies, "Yeah man, Person X was an animal. She just pounced on me 'cause I'm hot shit. FUCK MAN, Person X also blindfolded herself. She's totally kinky with me 'cause I'm hot shit.")
Ms. Hart laughed herself silly while choking on the words "pity sex" (meanwhile her sophomore science class looks at her in astonishment at actually hearing a teacher say the word "sex"), and I go on to express my deep displeasure in how pathetic that entire situation is. Seriously, why the hell do we women have to suffer in order to please and "help boost the esteem" of men? Haven't we been doing that for the past millennium? Throughout history, women have had to preen and encourage men that they were, indeed, the True Masters of the Known Universe, and no, they were definitely not stupid - don't think such a thing of yourself, dear. So while the men were congatulating themselves on bullying yet another kind-hearted nation into being colonized and whored for resources, their ever-adoring wives were probably having tea - as in, having hot lesbian sex - in the comforts of aristocratic glamour.
"You know Cindy, there was a study that showed that women who took birth control pills actually had a higher affinity for girly men - like Orlando Bloom - than the oh, look at me I'm Conan the Warrior men." I laughed at that, because holy hell, doesn't that make sense? I know women who are on birth control (for a variety of reasons) and it seems that the more they hunt, the more effeminate their game seems to be. It's just a gradual Gradient scale towards Gaydom. ♥ Before you know it, you'll be in your own classical situation of Will & Grace (and I've always wanted a friend like Will).
"God, that's ironic," I replied after finishing my lunch. "Women who take the pill do so in order to not get pregnant, yet the longer they take it, the more likely that they'll become lesbian. I wonder if that's possible - to take it to such an extent that you will become lesbian!" I turned to the few lingering Korean grade ten students in the science lab and announced gleefully, "Here's a term project idea for you!"
Conveniently, Elias and Paul walk into the classroom the moment I shout out the word "lesbian" into the air, and meanwhile Elias looks dreadfully confused, Paul looks slightly nauseated. Hm, that's interesting. Never took him to be homophobic. Holy shit, my eyes! Paul's shorts were rolled up to the middle of his thighs, and for the love of all that is innocent and good, COVER IT UP!
"Sexy legs there, Paul," I catcalled. Lucy ended up choking on her sandwich in laughter while Hayoung looked quite oblivious. I stalked over to him slowly with the smile-tilt-lean grin that Miranda had taught me - the only true method of making any smile look maliciously evil and lecherous - and slung my arm over his broad shoulders. Elias now looked really uncomfortable, and Paul even more so. Inside, I was dead from amusement. Outside, my skin felt like it wanted to fall off from contact.
"You know what?" I continued, Ms. Hart looking at me like I should be quarantined for pseudo-public displays of affection, "if I were an enzyme, I'd be helicase so I could unzip your genes." Insert explosion of laughter and half-pained groans here from Ms. Hart and everyone else in the room. Paul now turned red in the face and gave me the most ridiculous "dude, what the fuck?" expression that I've ever seen. I was grinning like a maniac, loving that I used that pick-up line so perfectly. (I absolutely adore how nerdy and brilliant it is, despite the pun. Ah, biology. ♥)
"Pity sex?" Ms. Hart asks, and Paul just blanches. I nod and laugh my ass off. I've never seen Paul run out a door so quickly in all the years at school. It was slightly awkward for Paul to act around me in Chemistry class after that, but after many minutes of relentless reassurance that no, he wasn't my type, and yes, it was a joke, did he ease up his useless paranoia.
"Yo Cindy, why aren't I your type?"
"Honey, you're not girly enough for me."
It was a good day.
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.
.
.
I finished my Physics worksheet! I finally understand it now, haha. LiveJournal recharges neurotransmitters, yay! ♥Does negative force exist?
.
.
.
.
*washes mouth out with soap* Please excuse my vulgarity today - I think I'm about to cry in frustration, actually. I hate not being able to understand concepts! It makes me feel ridiculously simple-minded and stupid. -_- So, to distract my murderous and flesh-eating thoughts, here's a brief anecdote from school, during the glorious time known as Lunch. (Really, it isn't quite as glorious anymore, considering that Ms. Smith has voodooed our names and souls into the black confines of her heart, and now all the Chemistry students are obliged trudge to the lab for extra Chemistry despite our deep hatred for the subject).
It was Friday, and the fact that Zeus was being rather ostentatious that day with his lightening and rain, Lucy, Hayoung, and I stayed indoor for lunch. (Nevermind the reality that we always stay inside for lunch in Ms. Hart's science lab...we like to disillusion ourselves into thinking that we're outgoing and social people.) Let us first become acquainted with the sheer awesomeness that is Ms. Hart: she's in her mid-thirties, quite attractive (or at least, I think so
I had tentatively brought up the subject of the study that was done in the University of Texas about "WHY WOMEN HAVE SEX". Apparently, there's an extreme difference between "how women have sex", "when women have sex", and "what type of people do women have sex with" compared to "WHY WOMEN HAVE SEX". I find it absurd that no one has done a study on this topic before (or they're lying through their scientific teeth), and the reasons of WHY were astounding - and fucking amusing. The researchers at the U of T interviewed and surveyed women from the ages of 18 to 87 (Ms. Hart was horrified that women at that age were even active; I told her that she should start planning early if she didn't want to be end up alone and miserable in her later years), and some of the results ranged from:
- revenge (Person X loves Person Y, but Y turns out to be a fat, hairy douchebag, so X sleeps with Person Z and ends up with herpes. The end).
- boredom (Person X, bored with the daily routines of coffee breaks and gentle filler conversation, decides to rape-jump Person Y into the wall. Wait...is it chloroform that I smell?)
- physical pleasure (Um...duh? I have so much faith in the scientific community.)
- love and wanting a deeper connection with their partner (no comment on this one).
- pity for the sex partner (Person X says, "Golly gee, Person Y! You're horribly ugly and smell like a rat that's been rolling in the gutter for the past decade. You've probably never been laid. Not even fondled. Not even touched. I feel that it is within my female, sentimental heart to boost your manly ego and self-esteem by touching, hugging, and fucking you. Yes." Then later, Person Y will brag to his buddies, "Yeah man, Person X was an animal. She just pounced on me 'cause I'm hot shit. FUCK MAN, Person X also blindfolded herself. She's totally kinky with me 'cause I'm hot shit.")
Ms. Hart laughed herself silly while choking on the words "pity sex" (meanwhile her sophomore science class looks at her in astonishment at actually hearing a teacher say the word "sex"), and I go on to express my deep displeasure in how pathetic that entire situation is. Seriously, why the hell do we women have to suffer in order to please and "help boost the esteem" of men? Haven't we been doing that for the past millennium? Throughout history, women have had to preen and encourage men that they were, indeed, the True Masters of the Known Universe, and no, they were definitely not stupid - don't think such a thing of yourself, dear. So while the men were congatulating themselves on bullying yet another kind-hearted nation into being colonized and whored for resources, their ever-adoring wives were probably having tea - as in, having hot lesbian sex - in the comforts of aristocratic glamour.
"You know Cindy, there was a study that showed that women who took birth control pills actually had a higher affinity for girly men - like Orlando Bloom - than the oh, look at me I'm Conan the Warrior men." I laughed at that, because holy hell, doesn't that make sense? I know women who are on birth control (for a variety of reasons) and it seems that the more they hunt, the more effeminate their game seems to be. It's just a gradual Gradient scale towards Gaydom. ♥ Before you know it, you'll be in your own classical situation of Will & Grace (and I've always wanted a friend like Will).
"God, that's ironic," I replied after finishing my lunch. "Women who take the pill do so in order to not get pregnant, yet the longer they take it, the more likely that they'll become lesbian. I wonder if that's possible - to take it to such an extent that you will become lesbian!" I turned to the few lingering Korean grade ten students in the science lab and announced gleefully, "Here's a term project idea for you!"
Conveniently, Elias and Paul walk into the classroom the moment I shout out the word "lesbian" into the air, and meanwhile Elias looks dreadfully confused, Paul looks slightly nauseated. Hm, that's interesting. Never took him to be homophobic. Holy shit, my eyes! Paul's shorts were rolled up to the middle of his thighs, and for the love of all that is innocent and good, COVER IT UP!
"Sexy legs there, Paul," I catcalled. Lucy ended up choking on her sandwich in laughter while Hayoung looked quite oblivious. I stalked over to him slowly with the smile-tilt-lean grin that Miranda had taught me - the only true method of making any smile look maliciously evil and lecherous - and slung my arm over his broad shoulders. Elias now looked really uncomfortable, and Paul even more so. Inside, I was dead from amusement. Outside, my skin felt like it wanted to fall off from contact.
"You know what?" I continued, Ms. Hart looking at me like I should be quarantined for pseudo-public displays of affection, "if I were an enzyme, I'd be helicase so I could unzip your genes." Insert explosion of laughter and half-pained groans here from Ms. Hart and everyone else in the room. Paul now turned red in the face and gave me the most ridiculous "dude, what the fuck?" expression that I've ever seen. I was grinning like a maniac, loving that I used that pick-up line so perfectly. (I absolutely adore how nerdy and brilliant it is, despite the pun. Ah, biology. ♥)
"Pity sex?" Ms. Hart asks, and Paul just blanches. I nod and laugh my ass off. I've never seen Paul run out a door so quickly in all the years at school. It was slightly awkward for Paul to act around me in Chemistry class after that, but after many minutes of relentless reassurance that no, he wasn't my type, and yes, it was a joke, did he ease up his useless paranoia.
"Yo Cindy, why aren't I your type?"
"Honey, you're not girly enough for me."
It was a good day.
.
.
.
.
I finished my Physics worksheet! I finally understand it now, haha. LiveJournal recharges neurotransmitters, yay! ♥
