Eventually, sorrow arrives

cloudy like a premonition

blasphemous if uttered.

you beg God to understand and he doesnt

You gift it to Man like a prize

Man, full of contradictions, sneers

filthy, rotten…thing.

take your perversion and need for-for-for

For Worship and run!

worship God as he is

worship Man as a Saint

Saint-like soul, is my desire unbecoming?

traitor of the heart, victim of the Soul

taste each word

how unamusing am I

not even a muse I make!

trust my worst intentions are your best ones.

love gains perspective and loses its way.

They are not men

gelatinous, cold to the touch,

bitter. What has become

of life — a parody of vulnerability.

Wailing, weak and frail.

thunderous waves roll wrack your stomach.

hold him — sweetheart, baby…

darrrling.

whether 'tis nobler in the mind to…

revolting. it slides off of me

water on oil

one could say i love you.

for a god to show me mercy

these days, the only god i seem to pray to

is you.

misguided belief in your power over me

so defenseless and helpless

a victim of my ego

forever bound to the chains of anyone

who calls me theirs.

you, as grown up as you are — a child.

suddenly no one can hear you no matter how loud your voice is

no one can see you no matter how hard your calves strain to keep you tall

passed by, viewed, admired, used

always giving too much of yourself

at the end you’ll be an empty carcass on the side of a highway

with nothing to prove you lived except for the body you divided, Osiris.

the buzz of flies, the hum of a street lamp

your glassed over eyes look up and swear you see Him

as the lights get brighter

and brighter

and the buzzing gets louder

and now, now because you believed in heaven

and held your hands out like anything holy could touch them

now that you’ve believed it to be yours it has killed you

what you have been chasing after has left you on the side of the highway, hollow and rotting

and after everything, the only heaven you find

is in the people driving by who seem to mutter

“poor thing”

and turn the music up a little louder