I have this thing that I do from time to time. I vanish suddenly, only to re-emerge later as if nothing at all happened. I might get caught up in a creative spurt where ideas don’t stop flowing, and I try and protect that winning streak with everything I have. Some people find it offensive, when you disappear completely. The kids have a term for this, as most of us know, it’s called being ghosted. I’m not entirely sure what it is that makes me tick — that’s for others to figure out. I do however know what inspires me. It’s almost inexplicable, putting it to words. But it seems to come from nowhere. Perhaps it’s a connection to the divine. Maybe I’m channelling higher energies. But who really knows?

My serial ghosting all started back when I was in my early twenties. And a little more than a decade later, I’m still doing it. I would be the life of the party, quite the jokester, all in for a good time. But then, out of nowhere, I’d retreat to the comfort of my own home, and withdraw from social settings altogether. It might have something to do with the mental illness I live with — the extremes — or it might be something else. All I know is I can only tolerate so much social interaction before I get burnt out on it. One thing I never get enough of is relative solitude. And I say relative because I enjoy spending time with my wife immensely. Other than being around her, though, you probably won’t find me out and about all that much.

A sudden disappearance is jarring to some. Their minds go to all kinds of places where they personalise the reality of someone not being around. They might think they did something wrong, while others just ignore you back, seeing it as an opportunity to call you when they actually need something, and act as if you’re a non-entity when they don’t. If I get through the day without too many calls or texts I consider myself lucky. But it’s a completely different story when I hear from my fellow creatives. Those are conversations I can’t get enough of. Because instead of dealing with glib vacuity, I’m instead sharing something in common with them. But not everyone jibes with everyone else, and that’s okay.

I don’t see myself as a particularly remarkable individual, so I often assume no one is missing out on much. I do however get pretty annoyed at those who hand my contact details out to others behind my back. They might think they’re doing me a solid by giving me a lead to a potential opportunity, while I see it as a complete violation of my privacy. I value myself enough to realise that I offer my friends and loved ones a caring ear, and will be there for them in times of strife. But I reserve this only for them, and I’ve come to guard myself against strangers more and more as I’ve aged. The problem is you can never fully trust anyone these days. And lots of people have ill intent. Withdrawal is a coping mechanism I seem to have developed naturally.

This is why when I read about removing oneself from public view in some of my favourite self-help books I realise I might be ahead of the curve, because it’s come to me organically. Knowing when to leave is as important as knowing when to show yourself, and unfortunately many people today can’t take a hint. Overstaying ones welcome is a dangerous thing to do, because people come to resent your presence, and if they get too familiar with it, you bore them. That’s why I feel it’s better to disappear from time to time — something I do anyway — and only return cautiously, when I’m ready. Some people just can’t seem to understand avoiding the myriad of ways people can get in touch with you nowadays. If you rid yourself of instant messaging or social media they freak out.

It’s because they can’t imagine a world without those things. They need to be constantly responding to texts and voice notes, and it’s become a kind of addiction for them. I on the other hand want to live an intentional life, one in which I can delve into periods of uninterrupted deep work at my choosing. I never wanted any of the things that other people busted their behinds to get in order to keep up with the Joneses. I take my life’s work and the purpose I’m here to fulfil awfully seriously. The same might appear to be the case for others, but they allow too many distractions through their digital door. The biggest nightmare I can fathom is living a life which is governed by responsibilities I could’ve avoided. Because at that point it’s your own fault.

Mental resets are one of the benefits of being a recluse. You have the freedom to slow down, to get off the treadmill of life, and find out what exactly it is you wish to devote your time to. You could say I’m privileged in this way, when nothing could be farther from the truth. Instead, I deliberately designed my life in a way in which nothing can affect my peace. I know some people have a burning desire to raise kids and have families, but I’m good with where I’m at, sans any of those things. But what about the people that have to take on jobs they hate? Doing things you don’t want to do is too high a price to pay in my opinion. I may sound like an overgrown child, but I don’t really care, because I fulfil all my responsibilities — I just don’t have that many.

I’m sure there must be other people out there who feel a similar way to me, but they feel as if they have no choice but to buckle under the weight of the man. Here’s the thing, though: the system only keeps going because we all participate in it. If we truly wanted to overthrow our governments and financial institutions we most certainly could. It’s those who benefit too much from a broken system that want to keep it in place. I’m not all that displeased with capitalism. What it means for me is that everyone else goes off to their little jobs every day and I get the peace and quiet I desire at home. I know it sounds selfish, but that’s only because society has placed so many expectations on us that we forget we even have choices.

If you wish you could disappear for a while, do it. If you’re unhappy with the dreck you see on social media, deactivate your account for a while. If you don’t wish to be interrupted non-stop with a barrage of texts and voice notes every day, delete your instant messaging apps. It’s that simple. People have got this idea that it’s impossible to get away from distractions, and that we simply have to adapt to them and acquiesce at every turn when in actuality we don’t. I might sound antisocial. I might sound picky and pessimistic about technology, but at the end of the day it’s a tool. And you use a tool, you don’t let it use you. It’s as simple as that. If it doesn’t work for you, rid yourself of it. People will get over the initial shock of you not being around. And then you’ll have your peace.

When I’m in my periods of hiding out from the world, that’s when I learn most about myself and others. How do they respond? If I’m not reachable they can’t. It’s not so much a strategic exit or anything elaborate like that, it’s just something I do. I disappear. The trick however, is that when others do the same back to you you need to accept it for what it is. You can’t get sensitive about being potentially ignored when you do it to everyone else. Soon, you’ll enjoy your own company more and more. You’ll learn things you never knew before with the space to explore whatever ideas tickle your fancy. I replaced social media with actual books. Hard covers, paperbacks, the works. And I’ve never been happier. Of course, you can learn from history what you can’t from present day.

I’m not in the least bit concerned that I might be missing out on anything. The worst that can happen is me not having to see people’s ugly mugs posing for selfies. Yes, I’m a regular guy. No, I’m not interested in seeing scantily clad women in my feed. I’m quite content with my wife, thank you very much. Call me a prude if you will, call me anything in the book. I just don’t need to be bothered with trying to filter out something profound in the midst of dreck. Selfies have got to be the most low-effort, try hard type of content anyone can post. I detest them. In the beginning, they didn’t get to me so much, but now I’m like, “Is that all you have to offer the world?” I want to be inspired by people’s brilliant minds. I’m not wowed by some Photoshopped physique. I’m just not.

Being away from all this stuff has incredible advantages. I literally don’t see anything I don’t want to. I can go for walks and watch the sunset. I’m not tethered to my desk or a phone. I’m able to drink in the beauty of life on a weekday morning without interruption or unwanted noise. And that’s exactly what social media is. Noise. It literally does nothing for you but create feelings of inadequacy. I know people in real life who are struggling, but show the world a different picture. Now that’s a form of dishonesty I find hard to swallow. But it’s their decision, ultimately. Not everyone wants to be away from the noise. Nor do they secretly wish to disappear as I have, multiple times. They probably think there’s something gravely wrong with me. And maybe there is. The only difference is I don’t care.

Well, I thought I couldn’t do it. Up until now I’ve written one book at a time. Right now, I find myself working on two projects at once. One is a collection of essays and the other is a self-help book. Sure, there’s been a bit of overlap in the subject matter, but I’m not too concerned about it. As someone who never dared call himself a writer for many years — all while I was writing — I think I’ve trained myself to juggle two things at once. There’s a clear separation that occurs when shifting between modes, but to me it’s all a matter of self-expression. It’s high time I own up to being an author. Not just a writer. Not just a blogger. Not just an essayist, but a fully fledged author of books.

I couldn’t tell you why I denied my compulsion to write for so many years. Maybe it was because I saw myself as a cartoonist. Maybe because I did commercial illustration, and that career path became part of my creative identity. But I realised, after some time had past, this is something I want to do — write, and write well — of course that involves a lot of reading and research, too. Because no one can just manifest content out of thin air. We need a reference point. General knowledge. You need to have something to say about the world. I’ll gladly admit now, I’ve paid my dues. And just because I’m not seeking out a publisher doesn’t make me any less of a writer.

Truth be told, the accolades showered on a bestselling author must be great, but I’m wary of blowing my load too early. I want my stuff to be at a particular standard before I go trying to get a book deal. The worst thing that can happen to an author is to have one amazing book, and for everything after that to suck. I call it sophomore syndrome — always trying to outdo what came prior. No, I realise I’m on this journey, and I’m not quite where I need to be yet. You can call them excuses, but as an intellectual peer of mine says, I’m trying to cultivate a cosy business. What that means, to me, is to avoid having anyone breathe down my neck. I don’t want a superior, thanks.

Plus, there’s a myriad of ways to make money with an internet connection these days, and I’d rather not sacrifice my craft for the almighty dollar. Now, I’m under no illusion that my work is polished enough to win awards or critical acclaim, but I honestly think I’m okay with that. I’ve said before that I don’t care if I never make a cent from my writing, because I know what monetising the thing that you love does to it. That happened to me with cartooning. I freelanced for a decade, I was self-employed, and the stress and pressure drove me to resent my own art. Not this time, though. I just won’t allow it. If a few coppers come my way by accident, that’d be swell. But I’m not in it for that.

The options one has at their fingertips today to self-publish are plentiful. Yes, a publisher may give you better reach, but then again, a self-published work can blow up just as well as one rubber stamped by an agent. I’d prefer to develop my skills in relative obscurity, however. This way everything I do is not being picked apart by critics and their reviews. Let’s face it, bookstores just aren’t moving product like they once did. We as authors and book lovers are the last outliers. And I blame those darn smartphones. We’re all familiar with the doom scroll. The endless feed that refreshes every few minutes. That’s where people spend their time now, not with paper books.

I find it sad, but I can’t make anyone care. I was talking to someone about this recently, and they said they like the idea of owning books and reading, but they just can’t get into it. How can I change this person’s mind? I can’t. Reading takes patience and an attention span — something sorely lacking in this current generation. Look, I’m no stranger to social media and the way it sucks one in. Although I’ve deactivated ninety-percent of my social media accounts I still lurk on some form of social media or another from time to time. We all do. The difference is I spend a lot more time reading books. That doesn’t make me better than anyone else. It just means I’m an avid reader.

We all know certain people are using artificial intelligence to write stuff these days. I look at someone’s resume today and can’t help but notice that their writing is devoid of a personality. Instant tell. You outsourced it to a chatbot. Wow! I want to see and read something that is undeniably human, warts and all. I mean, how can you lie on the very document you’re submitting to get a job? To me it’s just craziness. I’ve also heard of some of the social media sites with more of a professional bent being flooded with artificial intelligence assisted content. But I blew that popsicle stand years ago now. So I don’t really care. It’s just bizarre behaviour to me. That’s all.

That’s not to say I don’t think artificial intelligence doesn’t have its uses. Because it certainly does. I just think that some people are abusing it. Any tool can be turned into a weapon. And that’s exactly what’s happening. Let me turn my attention away from ranting about artificial intelligence for now, because you can find tons of articles going in that direction. Some are for it, some are against it. What I really can’t stop thinking about is how well my workflow is going right now. I had a slump not long ago, and to be out of it is something I’m incredibly grateful for. This new book I’m working on is not going to be serialised anywhere before I actually publish it. My other stuff is.

So, naturally, I’m more excited about this not-so-secret project. If you had to ask me, “Why self-help, Azzerae?” I’d answer you in this way: as a keen observer of human nature and the dynamics of interpersonal conflict, I’ve learned a couple things over the years. While Machiavellian in nature, my book — whose name I will not mention yet — is a guide for those seeking to overcome some major blind spots we as human beings struggle with. Granted, I don’t have a degree in psychology, nor have I gone to school for anything other than multimedia, but from personal experience I believe I’ve picked up a couple helpful hints that can be expressed saliently in written form.

I don’t expect it to be a hit. I don’t see anybody rushing to buy my self-published work just because it excites me tremendously. But I know I want this book to exist, so I’m taking the plunge and writing it. Even if the only person that gets anything out of it is me, I’ll be happy. So my endgame is not to plug my book at every chance I get, nor have I told anyone except my wife about its existence. I hope to quietly and diligently work at something I believe will be worth the blood, sweat and tears. And that’s all one can really hope for, right? One of the people who’ve inspired me tremendously is Robert Greene, who penned The 48 Laws of Power. Nothing can touch that work.

So I don’t expect to be the next Ryan Holiday — who worked as a research assistant to Greene — but I will certainly be the best Azzerae I can be. There’s no doubt we’re living through tumultuous times, and navigating this world of backbiting, manipulative people who claw their way to the top is not a walk in the park. But maybe I can give at least one person some hope, that things don’t have to be so bad. Not that my book is at all hopeful — in fact it’s a little on the controversial side — but equipping others with coping strategies from personal experience isn’t exactly outside my wheelhouse. We can all learn from each other, as imperfect and flawed as we are.

I see so many writers around me that give me hope about the world. I want to make a contribution like that too. But I don’t want to do it in a way that’s glib or schmaltzy. There’s a very real dark side to the human condition, there’s no two ways about it. And the quicker we acknowledge this reality the sooner we’ll be able to understand the mechanisms behind it. When I look at my life, and how far I’m come, from being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, and being a total mess to now, I can’t help but feel grateful for getting a second chance at life. Because at one point I didn’t want to live. I thought everybody would be better off without me. I was stuck. I had no hope.

Fast forward to present day, and those struggles shaped me into the man I am. Somebody who has compassion for others, all the while realising that compassion is rare. In order to get ahead in this world we don’t have to be dishonest, cold or calculating. We can slow down a little and enjoy the ride. Not everything is black and white, but rather nuance exists, and in a big way. Those who do operate slyly should however expect to be repaid in kind. We as the human race have an arrogance about us that is ugly, but also a softer, more jovial side. What I’m attempting to do is to introduce those sides of us to each other, and see how we can move toward an understanding. No one said it’d be easy, but anything worth having never is.

At one point or another, former associates turn on you. It’s inevitable. Just as Julius Caesar was slain by his own senators in ancient Rome, the members of your inner circle could do the same to you. At any time. People are fickle, and they can turn on a dime, for any reason whatsoever. All they need to do is justify it to themselves. Granted, there isn’t a conspiracy around every corner, but if you know what to look out for, you can spot when one is unfolding. There are tells. Even the people you consider closest to you talk behind your back. No human being is above gossip, no matter how holy an image they project. This is why it’s crucial to develop discernment when interacting with others.

For me it’s easy, because I possess the enviable qualities of a medium. But almost anyone can learn to see the patterns unfolding beneath the surface. It just takes practise. One of the oldest tricks in the book is to take someone who you deem untrustworthy and tell them a supposed secret, however, you include a little lie in your story, so that when it’s repeated, the culprits are exposed. Once you’ve determined who the culprits are, you keep the information to yourself. You store it away in the recesses of your memory banks, and proceed with business as usual. The useful idiots will then be exposed, and only you will know who crossed you. It’s important that you keep this to yourself.

In life, as much as we don’t want to admit it, it’s every man for himself. The only person you can really depend on is yourself, and when you’re in a position of power, people will always see you as a threat. Power might not mean the textbook definition, though. You could possess talents or have acquired skills that lead to feelings of jealousy or envy in others, and for this reason they resent you. You don’t have to do anything wrong to have enemies, all you need to do is be yourself and someone somewhere will hate you for it. Although it’s petty and immature, it’s also true, so in order to guard against those who wish to see you destroyed, play to their interests and don’t make a show of your unique abilities.

Instead, hide them. Use them to your advantage, but don’t let anybody in on what it is you’re up to. When people see you at the same level they’re at or lower, they’re more likely to want you around. Never be concerned with this, though. Draw a clear line in the sand between your qualities and theirs, never deferring to them too much. You don’t want to wind up in a situation where you’re in a position of false inferiority, because people might come to believe it. There is a careful balancing act to this principle, in which you should seek out a middle ground for. Some might suggest you appeal to those who are insecure in a way where you assure them they are safe with you.

But I don’t think it’s anybody’s job to bow and scrape to a lesser man, in order to placate him. Despite what the world tries to get us to believe, we’re not all equal. Some of us are better at certain things than others. And to play it down too much reeks of dishonesty. It isn’t really your problem if you make anyone else feel weak, untalented or insecure. If that’s the effect seeing somebody else win has on you, you’re just a loser, plain and simple. Of course we all want to be the best, we all want accolades and critical acclaim. But only those who are willing to take the trophy ever attain it. Waiting around for somebody else to give you your flowers is a zero sum game. Avoid it at all costs.

Any great man must recognise his place in society, and if he is unhappy about it, it is up to him to change. Swaying public perception can be difficult, but there are simple methods to attaining victory. While simple, if employed wrong, they could however backfire. And then you’re snookered, for want of a better term. Courting attention can be done in a myriad of ways, and it’s only if you’re relevant that you have a say in what people believe. A lot of folks naturally look toward a leader and what their opinions are in order to form their own. Influencing others in this way has to be done on a subconscious level, that way no one tends to realise their decisions are being made for them.

When the swords come out, and your back is up against the wall, the only way you won’t be defeated is if you have a grasp on a few tactics of persuasion. At that point, when it’s life or death with regard to your image and its reign, you appeal to your enemies by applying pressure to their weakest points — their Achilles heel. This is a psychological process as opposed to a physical one, and at that stage there is few other ways out. This is why it’s important to know those who you’re affiliated with well, and to get them to reveal their vulnerabilities in a setting that feels safe. For those same people who opened up to you and shared their deepest, darkest secrets will form a bond.

Exploiting such a bond is a no-brainer when all else is lost. To get men to withdraw and avoid doing you harm, you appeal to their interests and negotiate, albeit deceptively. No one is above this, so don’t think it will leave a permanent black mark against your name. It’s essential to have others oppose you, because then you can forge closer bonds with those who share an enemy with you. While things aren’t as barbaric as they were in ancient Rome — where literal swords were drawn — a metaphorical ousting occurs in the same vain. Don’t for a minute think because physical violence is off the table that you’re safe, for we as humans have developed incredibly sophisticated ways of destroying one another in modern days.

Try not to hold a grudge toward those who wish to destroy you. Chances are they’re gunning for a powerful position and all you are is an obstacle in the way of that goal. Your power intimidates them. That’s why you’re the target of their frustration. Everything they struggle with comes easy to you, and they hate you for their own inadequacies. Often the desired destruction of your person is not innately personal, it is rather an indication that you’re effective at what you do. We as men are hardwired to compete with one another for the highest position of power, but it is often not the individual you think it is that calls the shots. A powerful man’s handlers have more say than he does.

This might be difficult to swallow, but it also gives you an in. To become an adviser to a figurehead that takes all the credit for being powerful is often a more influential position to take. That way he takes the heat and criticism for the actions taken, and your hands stay relatively clean. Many of the most powerful people on earth possess a quiet, unassuming demeanour. They don’t need to be in the spotlight, or have their name in lights. And if you can get into a king’s head, you are the puppeteer who pulls the strings. Taking the crown is a dangerous responsibility, so to work in the background is highly preferable. If however you want to be the figurehead itself, make peace with the fact that you will be subject to your adviser’s input.

I did make mention of courting attention, and while it can work in your favour, it’s not always advisable. It all depends on what you want out of the game of life. To be remembered, or to be respected behind the scenes. Different strategies apply to different people — while some want to be king, others are happier being number two, and really wielding power. Your endgame determines what course you take. My suggestions are to be used as a guide in the case of emergency; when you’re losing ground or are being pursued by those who want your head on a stick. While there are many levels to this game, a few key principals remain. Real power is unassuming, and doesn’t require a title to validate its existence.

Some folks are quite content with not attaining power. They’re happy to be part of the audience, and often, inadvertently, this is the default state of the unremarkable. It’s okay to want to be an ordinary person, not everyone can lead. If everyone was gunning for the top it’d result in a bloodbath. I’m dissatisfied with being passive, but I can however play the part convincingly. Power doesn’t take the throne by force, but with a campaign that spreads like contagion. If you do decide to overthrow someone, just know that you too will be overthrown. No one likes to feel out of control. They want a leader who appeals to their self-interest. People are self-absorbed, they want to choose their king.

Give them the impression that they have a choice, and they’ll love you for it. Make them feel like you’re trustworthy and can be relied upon. At the same time, slowly but surely implement policy that works in your favour and undermines their desires. If you want to call the shots, you have to appear as if you consider your supporters ideas. Integrating them on surface level, while doing what you feel is best is crucial. It may sound deceitful, but not everyone deserves a seat at the table. And if you sacrificed your time and energy to get where you are, you deserve to get what you want. Remember always, you fought tooth and nail to get to the top, and showing even an ounce of weakness is like blood in the water.

We all possess the ability to shape perception, no matter how influential or irrelevant we may seem. While projecting a narrative that works in your favour might seem manipulative, if we’re honest with ourselves, everyone does it. Those who pretend to be above tactics such as these are usually the worst offenders. Most of us who embrace particular stratagems to influence how people see us know the power of subtlety, for if you come right out and do it clumsily and without forethought it’s bound to blow up in your face. Say for instance there are rumours circulating about how rotten a character you are. Arguing your point verbally is probably not the best way to convince anybody of anything. What you do instead is demonstrate through your actions why this narrative may be false.

And it doesn’t even have to be false. It could be absolutely true, that you have a rotten character. That doesn’t matter, though. What matters is whether you’re able to believably campaign your truth and make it real. People have short memories, and while today they could be opposed to your cause, tomorrow the tides can turn, and quickly. It all depends on whether or not you’re able to convince the crowd that the nature of your wrongdoings were justifiable. People love rooting for the underdog, and if you can position yourself as someone who has been smeared unfairly they quite possibly could rush to your defence without much sway. Take for instance finding yourself in a position in which you appear dishonest and inconsistent. You reserve the right to avoid opining on it.

Sometimes if you ignore something for long enough, it disappears altogether. It all depends on how much weight you attach to whatever narrative is being put out about you. The more you attempt to explain yourself the less convincing you’ll be. It’s sometimes best to allow the public to form their own opinion about a situation. Where it becomes necessary, is when the stakes are high enough that opening your mouth is going to win you over supporters. If you think this entire endeavour is an immoral idea, see how far being moral and upright gets you. It usually gets you nowhere. Allowing the audience to decide is crucial at key moments, but inconsistencies lead to misunderstandings, and that’s when you step in and shape perception.

You do it in secret, but tell those who can’t help but repeat what you tell them. This way your hands are clean and someone else has done your dirty work. There are always types present who like to gossip, and they can be useful idiots if you know how to work them. Perceptions are rarely something that people draw their own conclusions into having. There is often a shadowy underbelly behind what is adopted as truth. And the truth doesn’t really matter all that much when you’re trying to win allegiances, what matters most is you coming out on top by any means necessary. If you’re not prepared to fight dirty, and you’re obsessed with brutal honesty, you’re only short-changing yourself in the long run. Because everybody lies, and nobody is exactly what they appear to be.

The goal here is to get those who see you in a poor light to change their tune, and that only happens when you’re prepared to win over your detractors at every level. They will go to great lengths to discredit you. Pay this no mind. Focus on your campaign, and remain defiant till the very end. This is the only way you’ll win hearts and minds, by making an example out of those who dared cross you. In the future, those who consider you an enemy will give up trying to sway the opinion of the herd, because it’ll be too difficult for them to navigate around those who stick up for you in your absence. The way you get people to do this is by appealing to their self-interest, and telling them the kinds of things you know they want to hear. Everybody likes their ego stroked, despite what they say.

If you find yourself in a position where you feel backed into a corner, use it to your advantage. There is nothing you can’t come back from, and everything hinges on your reaction or lack thereof. When I say ignoring something altogether can make it go away, that’s because whatever you devote your attention to gets accentuated. This worsens your situation tremendously, and you wind up looking desperate to win allies in the campaign against you. Everyone goes through this at some point in their lives, and on every level. Whether it be in business, on a social level, or even in casual conversation. Make the picture they paint of you work for you by buying in to the bad qualities they say you possess.

If they allege that you’re this monster, and you’re not to be trusted but rather feared, that works in your favour. Allow people to be intimidated by your presence. Play into the role they’ve cast for you. You can do this by embracing wholeheartedly the narrative they’ve spun, and be the villain they want you to be. It doesn’t really matter that there are negative connotations to your image and name, because to be feared is far better than being loved. That’s because love is fickle, and dependent on mood, while fear drives people to respect you, even if inadvertently. Finding oneself in a situation where one is being railed against just proves that you’re relevant enough to be part of the conversation. In this way your presence becomes memorable instead of forgotten.

And the relevance they grant you can’t be easily erased. Make every supposedly negative connotation associated with your name and likeness work for you by embracing those qualities, then turn the situation on its head entirely by acting in a way that is clearly contradictory. This will confuse and anger those who are trying to destroy you, because the mixed signals you’re sending make what they’re doing look like the public’s word against theirs. Disarm whoever it is that opposes you by showing them false affections, and appearing to acquiesce to their demands. Once you lull them into a false sense of security, strike suddenly, and betray the confidence they had in you. There is literally no wrong way to shape perception in the public square.

When the enemy simply can’t win, no matter their efforts, they’ll stop trying and back off. That’s when you play with their silence and humiliate them for their ineffective campaign against you. Nobody sides with a loser, and literally everything is a win if you frame it the right way. Become indispensable by projecting the air of victor everywhere you go. Let nothing leave you down in the mouth, nor make you miserable. Enjoy the folly of the back and forth between your rivals and yourself. Laugh at it, mock and make fun of their attempts to ridicule you. They will eventually move on to another target, or disappear from the scene altogether. While it is important to have someone in your corner, never make them feel like you depend on it.

Let them come to their own conclusions. When people feel in control of what they believe about you they’re more prone to offer friendship or allegiance. Applying the rules of engagement I’ve outlined so far will have you appearing like the winner every time. Even if that isn’t technically true, it’s what people believe about you that matters. So if you look like you’re winning, perception wise, you are. When you allow people who you were previously on the outs with in to your inner circle they’ll often feel they have to prove their loyalty to you. It’s funny how that works, but the enemy that at one point tried to destroy you can become an incredible asset once accepted into the fold. Never allow them to see that you depend on their loyalty, for that reeks of desperation.

I’ve been in many conflicts where I could’ve lost the war and been done for, but I’ve successfully turned every one of those conflicts into victories. This frustrates the people who secretly resent you tremendously, and they come to feel that going into battle with you is just not worth it. Many people who appear as friends are anything but, and it’s the ones who smile in your face that are usually out to get you. If you sniff out one of these traitors, it’s best to keep them thinking they’re a part of your inner circle, and that you haven’t caught on. Sooner or later they’ll show their true colours, and the fact that they hate you secretly will be revealed. Make an example of them. Use them as the sacrificial lamb, so that no one repeats this error with you. And make sure if they try, that they are utterly obliterated. Have no mercy, for no one will have any for you.

Chances are a lot of the people in your life have an idea of you that is incorrect. It’s based on their expectations and interpretation of who you should be. I like to call this the script they hand you. To them, your actions and reactions are determined by the outline of that script. But the script isn’t real, because it lives in their imagination. And there is absolutely no requirement that you follow the rules imposed on you by an abstract concept. Certain people will become frustrated if you don’t play along with them and the narrative they’ve dreamed up. But none of that is your responsibility.

Living up to this imaginary ideal is something those who are too self absorbed to get to know the real you have in mind, and what is your responsibility comprises of educating them about who you actually are, and what you think. However, it’s wise to be cautious in these situations, because once you rip the carpet out from underneath them they can turn awfully nasty. But we can’t be intimidated by a fantasy. If someone doesn’t deserve to know the real you, don’t waste your time trying to convince them of anything. If they’re worthy, they’ll put in the necessary work to do so.

Say for instance you’ve been misread, or misunderstood. That’s usually due to the individual concerned pre-empting your character. They want something from you, so they expect to get it. It might be hard to recall the last time this happened because it’s a largely subconscious process. But once you pinpoint a situation in which it did occur, you’ll be able to get a better read on the situation. I can usually tell when someone has written me into their story in a way that doesn’t quite fit. They’ve got a plan in mind for me, and what they can get out of me, and it’s up to me to stop it.

The more you acquiesce to these types and appear to buy in to their script the more they’ll keep doing it. Often these people won’t ask you for a favour, they’ll attempt to tell you what you’re going to do for them. And the oblivious will do their bidding. That doesn’t have to be the case for you. I don’t quite know where this level of entitlement stems from, but I do recognise it in others, more and more as life goes on. I’m not suggesting you write a script for them either, no. Just that you be the author of your own destiny. The script is yours, not theirs. Reject their script, altogether.

If they get their back up, which is likely, remain calm. Don’t make a spectacle of passing over the role they’ve gone to great lengths to cast you in. And while gently pushing back can even send them into a tailspin, you must do so for the sake of your own sanity. People will have you doing all kinds of things against your will if you allow it. That’s why you shouldn’t. And if it’s a particularly new occurrence — you deviating from their plans — brace yourself for a temper tantrum of sorts. It all depends on how you choose to conduct yourself, whether or not you can break free from the chains.

Manipulating others is a most unsavoury trait. But it tends to come naturally to certain people. What you need to realise is that if they are indeed engaging in manipulative tactics, you possess the ability to turn the tables on them. You’re not above manipulating them in return. If they’ve thrown the first punch, taking revenge is only natural. Say for instance a person is used to getting there way. They’ve either gotten to that place by being handed everything on a golden platter, or they’ve learned how to plot, scheme and employ tactics to get their way. Here’s where you interrupt that pattern.

Before they go on a tangent framing things from the perspective of what you’re going to do for them without asking, come at them with a bullet list of your agenda first. This disarms them entirely from being able to take the upper hand. They may then try to modify your plans and shift them more toward what they intend to happen. It is at this point you deny them outright, and lay a clear boundary. The only thing left to do at that point is walk away, distancing yourself from them in future. People who can’t accept no as an answer are dangerous, and not to be entertained.

One of the things I’ve learned over the past couple months is how to ignore things. If you don’t pick up the phone when a bothersome acquaintance calls, they literally don’t exist. Being that I’m an extremely reclusive type, I’m spared the embarrassment of bumping into them in public, and having them press me. Chances are most won’t get confrontational, because human beings are by default passive aggressive, but if they do, and you are in their presence, lie. Do anything you can to put up a wall, to make yourself unreachable, and don’t under any circumstances give in. Stand your ground, and project an air of resistance. Sooner or later they’ll get the picture and move on to another victim.

I often suggest one avoids victimhood, but being under the thumb of a domineering individual does create a sense of being done down. That’s of course not something they’ll be prepared to understand, for all they truly care about is you playing the part they wish you would in their little make believe movie. I think it’s inherently dishonest to expect others to do your bidding while simultaneously assuring them that it’s not the case. It’s a clear form of gaslighting, and once you’re freed from the responsibilities foisted on you by the predatory time thieves you’ll be happier and more fulfilled.

Seeing as though none of us like being handed a script and told to dance to someone else’s tune, never do the same thing to others. Make sure that you listen to them intently, respect their boundaries, and incorporate their concerns into your decision making process. No one likes being told what to do, and therefore expecting others to do what you want just makes you look like a control freak. I’ve encountered many types of people that had a script ready to go that included me doing something I never agreed to, and only lately has it dawned on me how frequent that’s occurred.

I’m a big believer in personal liberties and not encroaching on other’s freedoms. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for everyone else. Remember: not engaging with someone who reaches out to you with an ulterior motive strips away their ability to effectively rope you in to their narrative. It’ll frustrate them terribly, and before long they’ll move on to someone else to fill the void. This entire principle is not above being used on friends who mix business with pleasure. If I can give any advice whatsoever I will say never work with friends. You can just say goodbye to your friendship.

You might find yourself in a position in which you’re doing someone else’s bidding, it’s dawned on you, and now you’re unhappy about it. Now is the perfect time to cut ties. Don’t be concerned about breaking your word, because if you’re already being taken advantage of, you reserve the right to cease being a part of the script they handed you. No one is above being ignored. To protect your own peace it’s the perfect strategy. You owe no one an explanation, ever. Not if you truly want to live the life you desire. And saying no is hard at first. You don’t want to do it. It’s often unpleasant.

It feels confrontational. Here’s the thing, though, there are going to be times where confrontation occurs in life. It’s unavoidable. They can lay a guilt trip on you all they want, but you know what it is you want out of life and what you don’t. It’s that simple. Sometimes you have to fight for your peace. Other times silence can communicate your point much more saliently. It’s up to you to determine when speaking or avoiding doing so is necessary. All this drives us toward a life rich with purpose. One where your will comes before anything else. And whether it’s ironclad or isn’t.

There’s one thing you ought be wary of, however. Make sure that the person you cut off is of no use to you. If there is even a kernel of a possibility of you needing them down the line, ignoring them is possibly not the best way to go. If you do ignore them, and then later require something, you can’t expect them not to either do the same to you, or to be altogether malicious, exacting revenge. Most of the time however, space and time heal all wounds, so even if you did ignore them, they might have seen the error in their ways. Don’t count on it, though. You’re not even playing dirty.

To play dirty would be to get down in the mud with them and wrestle. To openly declare war on their actions. You’re going for the road less travelled by going dark. After all, no one can argue with silence. They can’t confront it, manipulate it, or even spark a dialogue with it in any conceivable way. I’ve been ignored before, and one of the things it did to me was clearly communicate that the other party didn’t want to be bothered with whatever it was I had in mind. I didn’t freak out and continue reaching out. I got the picture. It doesn’t matter if anyone does or doesn’t understand, though, because at the end of the day, to remove yourself from the equation is to be invisible.

One thing that occurs to me as I age is how many things click and make sense that never did before, in ones youth. Of course we all go through that stage in our life where we think we know it all, and we learn eventually how little we really do. And so I’m not saying wisdom just naturally comes with age — you can be a fool your entire life, if you choose to live ignorantly. What matters is that we grow over time, and do our best to correct course. I think one of the most valuable lessons I’ve come to learn in life is being aware of not knowing everything. But some people choose arrogance anyway.

It’s a very dangerous trait, to pretend you know more than you do, for you can wind up in some sticky situations as a result of it. Some people learn that too late, or never at all, and I pity them for it. We’ve all been controlled by our desires at some point or another. Driven to do things that are out of character because we want something so bad that the consequences be damned. And it’s in those moments of weakness that we either give in or exercise restraint, which is sometimes easier than others. Restraint isn’t a sexy process, but neither is someone with an uncontrollable urge to get their way.

If our parents raised us right, we begin to learn as children the power of the word no. And it alone governs what we can and can’t get away with. If a person is raised without any boundaries whatsoever, their parents have done them a great disservice, because the world is a tough place, and sooner or later you’ll come to realise crossing certain lines is socially unacceptable. Where the problem comes in is if an individual is surrounded by those who acquiesce to all of their demands. And the minute these types encounter someone who won’t give them what they want they become an enemy. And enemies are necessary to a degree, but don’t make one out of the wrong person.

Think about it. If you have no one to spar with, life can be incredibly dull. Enemies provide us with an opportunity to engage in strategic psychological warfare — and that’s incredibly stimulating for some people. A level of respect is gained for someone that dares to cross you in this way, because chances are all the yes men in the world get taken for granted. No, it’s ones enemy that occupies their time and attention — even more so than friends and loved ones. You enter into a kind of emotional back and forth with your rivals, and this can be thrilling to the right type of person. The people who occupy our head space are rarely the unremarkable and quiet.

Making a spectacle of a rivalry is something many people have exploited for sport. For without a target for ones disdain one can turn their negative feelings inward, and attack themselves. Projecting outward that intense dislike gives one an ongoing project, and if both sides abstain from playing dirty they may come to appreciate the dopamine hit they get from their interactions with the source of their mire. I’m not advocating for mind games, I’m merely pointing out how to turn an otherwise unpleasant situation into a game, with good humour and gentle ribbing. If you think about someone you dislike, doesn’t their presence occupy more time in your head than those you love?

As human beings we almost can’t resist perseverating over that which pushes or buttons. It distracts us, and we’re consumed with wanting to crush our enemy totally. But without such conflicts, there seems little cause to act. Being backed into a corner in this way is something of a blessing, because it reveals to us a train of thought that is downright all consuming. It’s something just out of our reach, and therefore it can surprise even us, the thrill we get from engaging in such shenanigans. This is a way to appreciate an otherwise unpleasant situation, and turn it to your benefit. Honing ones skills at warfare of any kind comes in handy when dealing with the human animal and its intricacies.

I’m not in any way suggesting one should seek out enemies, and make them frivolously. Just, if you happen to have one, it can be an opportunity to sharpen your sense of manoeuvrability. Think back to when you had to deal with an unpleasant personality in your life. Wouldn’t it have been better to engage them on a level where you both understood that there was a power struggle, and you were both prepared to fight to tooth and nail to get what you wanted? I don’t seek out nemeses by any stretch, but when one appears in my life I no longer panic. This is because I’ve equipped myself with the necessary tools to beat them at their own game. Some people only understand conflict. Others run from it.

Which one will you be? The coward, who backed down? Or the person who won your rivals respect by becoming a worthy opponent? It all comes down to interpersonal conflict and this pantomime we call life. The world is like a stage set, and we all have our costumes, playing some role or another. Think about how you can transform a negative situation into a positive one in this sense. The odds are you’re disliked because something about you threatens your opponent, and to mask that fear they choose to lash out. If you keep a sense of humour about the whole ordeal you can disarm them completely. Nobody likes being make a laughing stock. It’s a great source of power, humour. Apply it.

If you think about many of the interactions you have in the workplace or even in social settings, there is a sense of one-upmanship that is occurring beneath the surface, always. We as men have testosterone, and that makes us territorial creatures. Any man wants to win, and come out on top. Observing those around us and their power plays can be fascinating once you know what to pay attention to. And this is what can make the experience entertaining, too. If you’re being undermined subtly, there are ways to push back that involve social graces and decorum but display aggression at the same time. Most people call this passive aggression. Call it what you want, but it’s all a game.

When I encounter someone whose arrogance precedes them, I begin to analyse their overall demeanour without letting on what I’m doing. While I may initially feel irritated or repulsed by this display, there are ways I go about undermining those who think too highly of themselves. You can embarrass them at the most opportune time down the line. Of course, this is not something most people would admit to doing, but I always tell the truth, and I generally don’t care who knows it. Most people however are dishonest with themselves, and that’s where problems start. They wear a mask, hoping you’ll buy in to the fakery they project. But I usually see straight through it.

Enemies can be fun, but don’t bite off more than you can chew. If you offend the wrong person at the wrong time you might just cook your goose altogether. We as human beings have very elaborate social cues and subtleties about us that make us appear civilised — when we’re anything but. Once you’ve had your fun with the rivalry, be certain to finish off your enemy in a way they can’t come back from. If you show any mercy toward them whatsoever you’re only showing weakness. And what you want is power and control over those who underestimate you. Being underestimated can be a blessing in disguise — for there is no greater joy than single-handedly defeating the sucker who mistook you for a fool.

I generally would have avoided making enemies in prior years, but now I see it’s necessary to selectively apply pressure and generate friction in order to ultimately get what I want. When allegiances are threatened, and new allies come together there is still an element of distrust among them. That, I’ve found is the best time to sow discord. I don’t particularly like causing people to be at odds, but if you’re angling for a position of power or authority, sometimes it can be the only way to stir things up to the point where people’s real intentions emerge. That’s when you find out who really has your back. But don’t get caught up in any of that because things can change fast when people are uncertain.

This is not advocacy for stirring up trouble for the sake of it. It’s more a social experiment that reveals where people’s loyalties truly lie. If you single-handedly manufacture a fallout, in the midst of everyone panicking, so much will be unveiled. I only suggest doing this if you have the mettle to withstand the cunning and backstabbing that is so evident in the human animal. If you’re an overly sensitive type, I’d warn against it. You can employ a variety of strategies to get people to show their hand, but at the end of the day it’s up to you how far you want to take any of it. I’m quite prepared to have been misunderstood in my documentation of the intricacy of rivalries. Just don’t blame me if any of it winds up backfiring. The onus is on you to make it work.

I was browsing a bookstore today, and I’ve got to say, I’m pretty disappointed with what’s on the shelves. I hate to sound so pessimistic, but really, it’s slim pickings out there. Aside from say, Robert Greene’s stuff I didn’t see anything that piqued my interest. I resisted the urge to buy anything that I wouldn’t read, and instead left the store with a three pack of Moleskine journals. I couldn’t think of anything better to do with my money but invest in a blank canvas — seeing as though all the books sucked. I hate to sound so harsh, but I guess I’ve just got very specific taste in books.

The slightest thing that’s off with a book’s overall design or layout puts me off. I like pretty things. And nice covers. Some books are too big, others are too small. And some of the typesetting is sloppy. It seems that now more than ever before, when we’ve got unlimited access to all kinds of tools to make a book cover pop, most of them are flat and ineffective. And I own a lot of books, it’s not like I only have a handful of them, they just have to get me excited enough to want to read them. Despite what a lot of people say, books are judged by their covers. It’s the first thing you see.

For some reason I just haven’t been journalling or using my sketchbook much lately. As an artist this would usually disturb me, and I’d do something about it. But for some reason I’ve been okay with taking a break from it all. I’ve mentioned before how dissatisfied I am with my creative efforts, and that naturally extends to my artwork. I’m hoping getting a bigger journal than the one I’m currently using will free me up some, because after all, it is pretty small and cramped. I prefer having space to breathe on the page.

I was encouraging a fellow artist friend to make new work recently, and simultaneously neglecting my own. And I recognise the hypocrisy in this. I like to be encouraging, but I do think I need to lead by example. There was a time when I couldn’t get enough time alone with the page. Now it just seems like something I’ll get around to when I’m not writing. Perhaps some day the writing will fall to the wayside, and I’ll pick up drawing again. But you never know. One thing I think is important is doing at least one creative thing a day. Whether that be writing, drawing or podcasting.

Podcasting is a whole other outlet for me. I’m about six hundred episodes in to my show, and although they don’t come out on a fixed schedule, they remain one of the things I’m proud of. I don’t always make a great show, but most of the time I think I do okay. The same can’t be said for my writing and drawing. Those projects seem harder, and to come slower than talking into a microphone. I think it’s also the subject matter I cover on my show that keeps things interesting. It’s completely separate from my personal life, and therefore I get to explore other avenues.

Of course there’s always an autobiographical side to anything I do — that just happens naturally — but sometimes it’s wise to be careful not to reveal too much. There are after all creeps and stalkers that crop up on the internet. And if your moniker is easily found via a search engine, that’s when problems start. There are people who are just plain nice, sure, but there are also weirdos around, that become nosier as time goes on, and get further down the rabbit hole of seeking out your content. I often struggle to differentiate between stalkers and nice people, as I can be naïve.

There is very little to go on when it comes to a stranger’s intentions. I’ve had trolls hold on to pieces of information I’ve shared for years, and throw them back in my face when I least expected them. It sometimes catches me off guard, but you get used to it after a while, and then it no longer alarms you. I do think it’s sad that some people make it their life mission to follow others around on the internet and make their lives a living hell. But once you open yourself up to strangers you can’t expect only positive feedback. It can also be flattering, in a way, to have enemies.

As Greene famously said in The 33 Strategies of War, “Being attacked means you’re important enough to be a target.” That line has stayed with me ever since I read it, and the reason it resonates is because it’s so true. And I’m no stranger to being a target — which must mean I’m doing something right. Relevance is granted to those whose names are on the general public’s lips. It could be frequently, or all the time. The real trouble comes in when you’re not effective enough at what you do to leave a dent. Then and only then you need to devise a strategy to garner attention.

Attention is something we all want, and those who deny such a premise are full of nonsense. Nobody wants to be ignored — it’s quite possibly the worst thing in the world to have your existence overlooked entirely, simply because you’re not interesting. This is why it’s important to court attention in various ways. As a writer, an artist, or anything else, we all want readers, collectors, or people who feel what we do is worth something. Not that a piece of work that gets ignored isn’t necessarily good. It’s also a matter of luck, and being in the right place at the right time.

My trip to the bookstore might have left me underwhelmed, but it reminded me of a universal truth. If you don’t see the things you want on the shelves, make them yourself. I know there are trends people follow, and fads, and crazes. Those are all temporary. But real momentum is built when a piece has a timeless quality to it. One that doesn’t just resonate with the here and now, but will keep doing so for centuries to come. That’s why I’m obsessed with the truth, and non-fiction. Because it’s real. Sure, it takes an awful lot of work to make a fictional title feel real, but in the end it’s not.

Journalling and working in a sketchbook engages a different part of my brain than straight up writing does. I also think one needs to ride whatever creative wave they’re currently on, and that sometimes means putting one medium to the side in service to another. One of my biggest fears is having nothing to write about. But when you base what you do on things that occur to you on a daily basis, the well never dries up. A reflection, a thought, a kernel of an idea can spark an entire piece. It all depends on whether or not you’re really seeing when you look around you.

Most of us wear blinkers. We’re so narrowly focused on one task that we ignore everything else that’s going on around us. This is the epitome of short-sightedness. How can you shut out everything that makes your life beautiful, while simultaneously drawing from it to create? The answer is you’ll reach a bottleneck where you run out of material because you actively avoided living life. But that’s the reality most of us live with today. Our world is interconnected via internet but remains so small in real life. And we’ve embraced convenience so fully, that any deterrent is a kill switch.

Despite my empty handed trip to that bookstore, I learnt a lot. I learnt that I don’t want to settle. I want something that moves me. And anything that can’t give me that doesn’t deserve my time. Life is too short to waste your time with lukewarm material. This is why I actively surround myself with things that inspire me, and fuel my creative fire. Anything less must be eradicated from my life and not let back in. I know I sound militant, but I’m serious about protecting my intellectual sovereignty. After all, no one else is going to do that for me. They’re all too wrapped up in themselves.

Critics have existed since time immemorial. Some people have made careers out of criticism. Don’t ask me how that works, but it does, and it’s undeniable. Trolls are a type of critic, but one without any accolades to back up their critique. They’ll throw everything and the kitchen sink at you to get you to react a certain way. The best thing you can do is beat them at their own game. Giving them enough rope to hang themselves, and striking before they expect your retort. I’ve been the critic, I’ve been the guy who thinks he can do better than someone else. The truth is it’s harder than it looks.

What we need to do individually is carve out our niche. Be the person you authentically are, without compromise, and no one will be able to successfully mimic you. They can try, but eventually all plagiarists are found out in the end. Stand firm in your identity, and need I say it, brand. The truth is we’re all a store front today, and everyone has something to sell. Whether it be advice, a marketable skill, or a raw talent; the internet is filled with creators. Decide what type of creator you want to be, and become the embodiment of it. No matter how many times you fail, you can always begin again. Failure is a wonderful teacher. Don’t be afraid of it, for if you never try you can never win.

As much as we might not want to admit it, there are parasitic types that cross our paths every day. They may enter your life wearing a disguise, but that doesn’t change the reality of what they are. One of the most effective ways to starve these parasites is to literally become invisible. And the way that you do that is by severing any access they might have gained to you. If you keep allowing them in, that’s how they do their damage. Often times these parasites act as emotional predators, and we in turn become their prey. Becoming unreachable might be an extreme action to take, but it’s also essential.

Finding the source of what (or who) drains your energy is imperative. And the way that you do this is by the process of elimination. Beware though, because parasites possess the ability to mask their true nature. Psychic parasites are not all that different from emotional ones, but there are certain characteristics you can pick up to discern which is which. And that’s the task before you. While a psychic attack is determined by how they go about conquering your psyche, an emotional one is apparent by the shift of your moods, in their presence. But not everyone is susceptible to the same degree.

It all depends on your demeanour, and how you handle the subtleties involved in these strategic assaults. You too can devise strategies around how you uproot their effectiveness. But it’s all dependent on whether or not you’re willing to enter into the back and forth involved. Ridding oneself of a parasite requires entering into a power struggle, one which is absolutely unavoidable. But it’s also up to you to take responsibility for being suckered into their game. Perhaps you were naïve enough to give them full access, with their initial behaviour giving you no indication of their parasitic nature. But over time, you came to realise exactly what was happening.

When we think of the word parasite, all kinds of visuals come to us. Much like the parasites that can attach themselves to us physically, it is relatively easy for psychic or emotional parasites to do so, while we remain oblivious to it, at first. Self-analysis and a psychological evaluation reveal what may be occurring beneath the surface of an otherwise pleasant conscious interaction. Often a parasite can appear cheery and show no intention of wanting to do you harm, when they’re waiting for the opportunity to strike. And once they’ve attached themselves to your psyche or emotional state, you are then the vessel through which they work.

Suppose a person enters your life, and is complimentary and charming. You may want to take them at their word, because they make you feel good about yourself. Because most of us want to see the good in people. Secretly these types will wish you ruin, and want to drain you of your vitality; everything that makes you who you are. It can be very difficult to detect a parasite until they’ve drained you for a time. This is why it’s a good idea to learn how to pinpoint what is causing the symptoms you’re suffering with. If you find your energy is being drained by a specific presence in your life there also exists a form of Stockholm syndrome that sometimes takes place.

You might even grow comfortable with this person being in your life, to such a degree that it might seem sad to have to disconnect from them. But for your own psychic or emotional wellbeing it’s highly necessary you do. What separates a psychic parasite from an emotional one is the approach they take toward getting what they can out of you. Because the psychic aspect of human nature can be considered physically invisible, one needs to drill down deeper into their subconscious to find answers. And often times it takes an impartial observer to spot precisely what is occurring to you, unbeknownst. This is why it’s important to have people you can trust around you, who don’t feed off your energy.

The psyche as a concept is a complex notion if there ever was one. For a lot of psychic processes occur in a space unseen. That is what makes ones emotional state easier to analyse. The vampiric nature of psychic parasites can’t be overstated. And if you detect somebody falling under the spell of one, there are a few steps you can take to make them aware of what it is that’s happening. First, you don’t come right out and say it, because the individual in question might revert to defending their parasite; not knowing the severity of the situation, and how it is impacting their wellbeing. This is the insidious nature of the parasite: it gets its victim to a place where they’re in denial.

Fortunately enough, a psychic parasite can be dealt with swiftly enough, if the victim in question acknowledges its presence, and desires to have it done away with. At that point, removing the parasite from your life and therefore revoking any access to your person starves them immediately. However, in the transition period between ridding yourself of a parasite, and beginning your healing journey, don’t allow another one to replace it. Whoever it is that might be aiding you in the process might not have the best of intentions, and may want you all to themselves. In which case, you must go the process alone. In other words, don’t replace a parasite with another parasite. And be on guard.

When it comes to emotional parasites, they have a more visible effect on a person. A highly seductive predator may court you, with the sole purpose of becoming the puppet master of your emotional state. Why this is easier to detect is because in certain people’s presence you might experience an emotional roller coaster within the space of a few minutes. They’re toying with you. They enjoy feeding off the lifeblood of your emotions. It’s not pleasant to admit such things to ourselves, but these types do exist, and they’re not a rare phenomenon. Chances are, if the average person mulls over their emotional state, there is a source of some of their mood swings, external from themselves.

While I’ve focused on the psychic and emotional parasites up until this point, there does exist another type. The physical parasite. And this is one of the most dangerous on the list. They are brazen, and literally objectify people. They have no problem treating you like a possession, and they’re incredibly jealous in nature. They want your physical vessel to fulfil their needs. That’s it. That’s there end game. Getting rid of a physical parasite can also prove difficult, because a lot of their manipulation occurs in the bedroom. And who doesn’t want to be desired? The more submissive types of people around enjoy being conquered in a sense, and for them it feels normal.

It’s anything but. As human beings we all struggle with lust, and in entering into a relationship with a physical parasite, they can make us feel wanted. Fortunately enough, if a person wants to break away from this type it proves easier than the denial associated with a psychic parasite. Because everything is visible, and therefore more noticeable. We as people can also be caught up in more than one parasitic relationship at once, and there’s nothing stopping an all round parasite from hitting you on all three levels: psychic, emotional, and physical. A predator of this kind may switch between psychic, emotional and physical control, confusing you to the point of being frozen.

At that point it is best to involve a professional, and recognise you can’t go this alone. We as human beings have an incredible capability to withstand mistreatment, but it doesn’t have to be this way. I’m certain that a therapist worth their salt would be able to detect some of these personality traits, and get to the root cause of some of them better than I, a layman, could. But it’s worth trying to address the problem yourself too. That way you become stronger, and you can proudly say you overcame a period of darkness through your own efforts. It all depends on how determined you are, and whether you’re willing to be honest with yourself.

Directly addressing a parasite, and calling them out, however, does little. They must be dealt with strategically, or you run the risk of only partially ridding yourself of their clutches. This will worsen the situation tremendously, because once they’re aware you’re onto them, they’ll use everything they can to get you to relent, and allow them to stick around. Some people might not want to acknowledge the existence of the parasite. They may be in denial. Never try and force them to do anything, because they’ll grow suspicious of you and you won’t be able to help them. The only way to get them to understand is to show them the parts of themselves they’re losing. And once they grasp that, they’ll be more apt to free themselves of the parasite in question. Now, ask yourself, are you housing a parasite too?

In the age of digital helpers and content creation, as opposed to handcrafted, original work, executed by human hands, it’s almost a diamond in the rough when one finds something made ethically and honestly. The thing with typing prompts in to a digital interface, and choosing something from a list automatically discredits its legitimacy. How do you copyright material such as that? It’s not your own. But it’s also a case of immediacy. People want things fast, and they want them to be of a particular standard. And as a designer myself, who has a diploma in multimedia, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I was discouraged by the lack of human centric work in the zeitgeist now.

One can easily differentiate between work rendered by a chatbot from that toiled over by human hands. It’s instantly recognisable. But what I don’t understand is this new attitude emerging that people are above using digital tools altogether. Just because you repurpose images found online doesn’t make you morally superior to those who utilise a digital assistant. What does blow my mind however is how people will abuse these services for all they can give them free, and not even purchase a subscription on the lower tier. If it’s helping you save time in any way, it’s worth it. I was against using chatbots out of a moral conviction, up until I realised the return on investment was nil.

If any of the people that criticise artificial assistants aren’t creating their book designs or the artwork that accompanies their writing from scratch, I’ve decided I don’t want to hear the bellyaching. Now this isn’t to say I’m all in on the cause, for I most certainly am not. I just want us to be honest with ourselves. When I began writing pieces for online consumption, I’d use my own hand drawn illustrations as editorials. But I found that I hit a wall after a certain period of time, due to my limited abilities to pull certain scenes off, and draw them out of my head, as illustrators do. Also, no one else was making their own art per sé, so why should I hold myself to that standard?

In my career as an illustrator, I came to realise the reason work dried up almost entirely was because artwork became accessible without involving another human being. If your focus is writing, surely the artwork paired with it isn’t the focus. Personally, I’ve never used stock photos or online resources to repurpose royalty free imagery to suit my needs, because it just doesn’t pack the punch I want it to. Another thing I’ve avoided doing is having my writing altered in any way by a digital assistant. I don’t even use any programs to spell check or fix grammar. I do all that myself. On the other hand I’ve grown perfectly comfortable tapping in to the benefits of a chatbot for illustrations.

I’ve avoided addressing this notion for a while due to a variety of factors. Lots of people have strong opinions on the subject. They’re either all in or completely opposed to the use of digital assistants. But I was never trying to hide my use of them. I just got into the groove of not having to painstakingly craft a new visual concept for every piece I write. And it’s freed me up tremendously so I can focus on writing a piece and doing it well. After all, people don’t seek out articles to read based on what the editorial illustrations look like. At least that’s the conclusion I’ve come to. Also, other people use it too, so why shouldn’t I?

Yes, I’m uncomfortable with people turning to chatbots immediately, and not even trying to come up with their own solutions to problems. In this way we’re becoming intellectually lazy, and our natural abilities to process information are being outsourced because it’s convenient. I think it all depends on how far you’re willing to go with new technology. And if you allow it to replace your natural thought process. A thought process that has created art and literature for centuries upon centuries. There’s no doubt about it, we’re in a new aeon, and soon we’ll be faced with even newer technologies we never could’ve dreamed were possible.

Here’s the thing, people will jump on trends and bandwagons if there’s a willing horse to ride. But it’s up to us individually as to how far it goes. Unfortunately human beings will abuse anything that’s free. The minute you ask them for money however, they lose interest. It’s a really ugly trait. Allow me to turn my attention to social media for a second. The biggest culprit of our attention deficit generation. You can be anything you want on there. I know people whose lives are in utter shambles, and they successfully project this pretend world to the unsuspecting public. Their lives are perfectly curated to push this narrative that they are well to do, and everything is going well.

Back in the real world, however, they trauma dump on those closest to them as to how much their lives suck and how much they’re struggling financially. How am I supposed to respect that? I can’t. I’m not saying people should plaster their traumas all over social media either, all I’m saying is that there’s a huge disconnect between what they show of their lives and what is really happening behind the scenes. I could never understand playing make believe about a situation so dire. It’s one of the reasons I’m not on social media. It spells trouble, every time. And don’t get me started on the selfies. That’s enough to make me lose my lunch. How many times can you post a self-portrait, anyway?

I know I may sound like I think I’m too good for these things, but nothing could be further from the truth. I tried social media out, and every time I did it was like a countdown timer was ticking away before I tired of the whole ordeal, and ended up deactivating. Now you may say, if I was truly serious about ridding myself of this scourge I’d actually delete my accounts. No. I reserve the right to go back at any time. Chances are I won’t, but hey, you never know. I’ve corresponded with other writers who swear off social media just as I do. They seem to have a similar intolerance for the superficiality associated with the whole ordeal. So I’m not alone in this stance.

Why I feel writing platforms are dissimilar to social media is because I think we’re getting at deeper human truths. Sure, there are the hucksters and folks posting slop, but then you come across those types who truly blow your mind with their work. If you’d like to go as far as characterising writing platforms as a form of social media, go right ahead. But I think they’re different in a variety of ways. First of all, people aren’t generally posting selfies on them. There’s no scantily clad attention seekers trying to catfish the audience with their airbrushed snapshots. It’s more of an intellectually stimulating environment. People seem more interested in what’s on your mind than in your pocket.

Hustle culture has also infected the internet in a big way. Everyone has tips and tricks they’re eager to share, when they have no business giving advice. I mean I get it, we’re in a time when self-help books have gained traction. People want to read an article and come away with the feeling that they’ve learned something new. But solving problems for your readers? Really? Who died and made you an expert in the interpersonal dynamics of human psychology? I’ll admit some of these pieces do pique my interest. And if the advice is solid enough you can ignore the source of it to a degree. Somebody might not have their own life together, but it feels meaningful to encourage others.

The people I’ve always looked up to most, as far as writers go, are those who are able to bring themselves to their writing. I want to read personal anecdotes and life lessons unfolding in real time. But I don’t take kindly to being preached to. Not unless I really know and respect the source, or they’re an expert with real life experience in the field of human nature. Look, not everyone has to be a guru. Sometimes ordinary people can impart information that can be incredibly helpful so effortlessly that it’s a pleasure to read. And those are the types I gravitate toward. We all tell stories as writers. Whether they be based on a kernel of truth or entirely fictional. Stories are what drive us.

I’d hope my admission of guilt as far as utilising a digital assistant to generate imagery will not count against me, but you can at least respect my honesty around it. The truth is, in any space where writing is the focus, editorial illustrations are somewhat unimportant. I just don’t want anybody thinking that my involvement in such things has made it’s way into my writing. That I’ll always do myself. When it comes to illustration, and you’ve done it for so many years as a full time job, finding a way to circumvent the process of additional work is natural. Plus, I don’t think my native drawing style fits awfully well with the type of writing I do. But I guess it’s up to my readers now.

It’s been one of those days when interruptions from the outside world have intercepted my creative process. I read a fellow writer recently describe themselves as a highly sensitive person, and I had to turn the question in on myself — am I that way? I’ve described before how another writer I follow struggles with autism, and I seem to share similar traits with them. But I’m not autistic. I’ve got schizoaffective disorder. Do the two overlap, in a symptomatic sense? These are the things currently on my mind. It’s no secret that when phones ring nowadays, most of the youth scatter — preferring texting to a good, old fashioned person to person dialogue. And I wonder how we got here. I start to wonder if some of my hang ups are in my head, or self-created.

I used to be scared of phone calls at one stage, now I see them as nothing more than an inconvenience. I too prefer written forms of communication. But I’ll quite easily answer a call if I get one. It just has to be the right time of day and my mood has to match whatever frame of mind I’m in. I’m starting to curse these oblong pocket-sized devices that rob us of so much and on the other hand bless us with the endless scroll. Can you detest something and love it at the same time? If so, smart phones are that for me. I’ve unsuccessfully tried to divorce myself from owning one, opting for dumb phones instead. But I always seem to come crawling back to the convenience of what I know.

If we’re honest, living life without the latest technologies is next to impossible. Everything is attached to our phones now. There’s an app for everything and a QR code for everything else. And trying to explain to anyone that you’re not on social media results in them cocking their heads to the side and asking, “But why?” I’ll tell you why. People having unlimited access to you across different platforms at all hours of the night and day is just a bad idea. I’ve ghosted everyone that ever followed me on social media by deactivating all of my accounts, and I have no desire to go back. The same writer that categorises themselves as a highly sensitive person agreed with me on that. So maybe I am highly sensitive in some way.

I would definitely identify with being a sensitive. But highly sensitive, maybe not. I have a pretty good gauge on my emotions and can shut them on and off pretty easily, so that when someone seeks to do me harm they fall flat. Unfortunately in this life we seem to have to learn how to do that. There’s a certain level of sociopathy associated with conducting oneself in business that is accepted across the board. Not that I’m subject to a corporate environment, nor have I ever been. That’d be impossible for me. I just wasn’t born for the corporate world. I’m too idiosyncratic in my approach and attitude toward work for that. Now when I say I’m a sensitive I do infer that I possess the qualities of a medium. I can see and hear things others can’t. No, not hallucinations. It’s a gift.

Sometimes, however, that alone is taxing, emotionally, and psychologically. Being able to hear other’s thoughts and have visions of their fate come to you is not an easy phenomena to control. It involves being in someone else’s shoes on a whole other level. So if I were to put this highly sensitive person business to bed once and for all, I’d say I’m not one. A highly sensitive person wouldn’t be able to tolerate the level of abuse I can walk into in a troll community and remain unfazed. It would be completely out of the question — dealing with the hate and disdain these basement dwellers project onto others. But why do I stick around in those places? Because it’s fun. Watching things with a sense of amusement and having a sense of humour about oneself is crucial.

This is not to say I don’t respect the boundaries of those who are highly sensitive. I most certainly do. Chances are you’ll find that they conduct themselves in a gentle fashion socially, and matching that energy is easy for a tolerant and kind individual. Which I can be, when I’m not defending myself against a barrage of insults or a full on roast. So I see a lot of value in the highly sensitive. If we only had abrasive, bombastic types around life might get a little hairy at times. Which it does. You just need to learn how to navigate it is all. I know I’ve toughened up a great deal as I’ve aged, and certain things that bothered me in my youth no longer do. I think that’s growth. It might be a pity that a certain part of me died along the way, but that’s life and we accept it and move on.

In business, one comes across all manner of personalities on a daily basis. You might get a client who micromanages you — or attempts to — or you might get one that’s entirely too hands off. But like I say, it takes all types of people to colour the diversity of this world. Business is one thing I’ve had to get the hang of over the years, seeing as though I didn’t want to subject myself to corporate. And running one is a whole other ball of wax. If you allow people to, they will walk all over you in business. This is where you have to harden yourself. We’re engaging in a transactional relationship here, not a social one. Your client is not your friend and vice versa. And sometimes you have to remind people of that stuff.

And I’ve had individuals try and mix business with pleasure crash and burn. It just doesn’t work. Just like working with friends or loved ones doesn’t work. If you need someone to do a job, you look for the person with the best level of skill; you don’t tap a buddy on the shoulder. Chances are, in that case, things will go south fast. To me it’s fascinating how we’ve got here as a human race. We went from hunter gatherers, to bartering, and now we jump through flaming hoops for a number on a screen. Invisible money. Does the bank even have it all to give, if you demand a deposit on the spot? Let’s not get started on the conspiracy of financial institutions. Or we’ll be here all day. I will say one thing however before moving on — money can be made a myriad of ways, but meaning can’t be found just anywhere.

That’s why we chase our dreams though, isn’t it? To find meaning in the midst of chaos and a light at the end of the tunnel. If we don’t live with hope, nothing we do will ever come to fruition. Have you ever met a person who is devoid of hope? It’s sad. I suspect I have, but I’m not sure. We have to have a goal — something to look forward to. When I find myself among those who are inherently pessimistic about the majority of things that come up in conversation I slowly distance myself from them up until they’re completely out of my life. Negativity is a killer. Sure, I acknowledge the darker side of human nature, and venture into the occult. But being a hopeless sap never got anyone anywhere. And I’ve lived through depression. A place I never want to go back to.

When I look at the bigger picture everybody has those moments in which they express a level of sensitivity. I think it’s normal. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it must be hard for highly sensitive people to process the world. If your senses are so constantly heightened this world can be a cruel, dark place. Can you imagine encountering a walking abyss of a person? A walking, talking void? What that must do to you, if you’re overly sensitive? I’d be afraid of them sucking me in. And I’ve been around some people of questionable character. I’ve seen evil up close. Of course I didn’t like what I saw, but they’re like parasites. They feed on fear. The best thing to do in that situation is not to react. And to preserve your energy until you’re safely out of their way altogether.

No, I’ve decided I’m not this sensitive person I once was. If I were I wouldn’t have made it this far. I’ve been through some ups and downs that most people wouldn’t come back from. That’s why a bit of an abrasive person here or there doesn’t necessarily sway me. I can match their energy. Show me your teeth and I’ll bare mine. We as human beings need to learn how to cope better with the more unsavoury types that lurk in the shadows. You can’t ignore them altogether, because chances are you’ll encounter them at some time in your life. What you need to do is guard your person with everything you’ve got against these types. And doing so takes practise. That why, no matter how unpleasant these people are, they’re necessary. For if we didn’t have evil we wouldn’t have good.

A lot of the things that would frighten the average man don’t frighten me much, and that’s because I have a spiritual connection to the divine that acts as a form of protection over me. I know how to defend myself magically, as well as through psychic means. Once you’ve dealt with the perfectly possessed at least once in your life it gives you insight into the human monster. I’m not talking about God, necessarily. This isn’t a call to worship whoever I call mine. It’s just an acknowledgement of the spiritual warfare we’re all subjected to on a daily basis. There are those who want you to fail, and fail miserably. They might even appear as angels at first, when in truth they’re the opposite. They pose as friends and act as spies. So, can you differentiate between the two?