TOKYO, JAPAN — Nearly four years after the earthquake and tsunami that caused Japan’s Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant to explode, tests show the nuclear plant is still leaking Kool-Aid. Despite massive efforts by the country to control and contain it, drip by drip, hundreds of gallons of concentrated cherry Kool-Aid continue to leak from the plant and into the Pacific Ocean.

Plant Manager Hiroma Nagao insists he and his staff are doing everything possible to control and stop the mouthwatering juice from leaking into the ocean. “We are now using 147 different ways to control the leak,” stated Mr. Nagao “but the flavor-filled artificially-colored liquid continues to escape capture. We will continue to look for new ways to prevent this sweet red nectar from reaching the ocean, for as long as the reactors continue to leak [the Kool-Aid], we will continue to spar.”

Since the earthquake and tsunami in March 2011, over one million tons of cherry Kool-Aid have entered the Pacific, causing it to turn a pinkish color and fish and ocean life to experience massive “sugar highs.”

Attempts to contain and stop the delicious beverage from falling into the ocean have been met with multiple accidents causing the ocean’s sugar concentration to exceed the legal limit by over 1,000,000,000,000 times. The most recent accident prompted Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe to pledge millions of dollars toward building a massive animatronic pitcher of ice to contain the Kool-Aid and a horde of hyper-absorptive polymer people to absorb it. Said Prime Minister Abe, “It is with great dishonor that I must report we have not yet proven to stop this sugared potable from spreading into the ocean and delighting the fish with unnatural flavor sensations. I vow to put an end to this leak even if I must personally consume many gallons of the good-tasting liquid myself and endure seppuku [Japanese honor death].”

As of press date, thousands of Japanese citizens have traveled to the leak site with massive crazy straws to assist their country in containing the liquid runoff by offering to drink the Kool-Aid.

© Absrd Comedy, LLC — a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Originally published at www.absrdcomedy.com on January 15, 2015.

Think you can get by without a script supervisor? Think again.

This post was written by Caryn Ruby.

Savvy directors and smart producers get it-so why do so many productions think they can save money by not hiring a script supervisor? Or when they do, why are we one of the last department heads hired?

You may think you are saving money by not hiring a script supervisor, but you are likely setting yourself up for a much longer and more expensive post-production process.

What Makes Script Supervisors the Unsung Heroes of Film & TV?

In Jon Fusco’s 2017 No Film School article “ Here’s Why Script Supervisors Are the ‘Secret Ninjas’ of Film Production , “ script supervisor Eve Butterly had it right:

“I am your cheapest department because I am a department of one and I have the opportunity to save you the most money.”

While many script supervisors believe we should actually be more than a “department of one,” a large part of our job is to find and help correct issues before we roll. If we are only brought on right before filming (if at all) we can’t possibly do our best work.

What makes us “secret ninjas” starts in prep. If we’re brought in early enough, we can catch things that necessitate a script revision instead of costly reshoots or extensive finagling in editing.

We comb through the script for any logical inconsistencies, internalize the script, prepare story day/night breakdowns-and depending on the needs of the script-various other breakdowns such as locations, Time of Day, injuries, costumes, props, and any other script-specific details to share with all departments.

We are not only a second pair of eyes for every department’s continuity, we are often the only one thinking about details that fall between departments such as character arc, emotional continuity, etc.

If given sufficient prep time, you help us help you!

Lessons from a Script Supervisor

When I first started script supervising, I was so happy to get the gig that I didn’t ask-or even think to ask-for any paid prep or wrap days. I just did all my prep (and wrap) work for free. This craft has a really steep learning curve and since it takes a while to get proficient, it’s customary to take low-paying gigs when first starting out.

I learned early on that prep and wrap days should be paid, but it’s a constant strain during interviews because I am often the only one to bring it up. Producers and directors often act surprised and “haven’t budgeted” for prep days, so I need to justify and explain what I would be doing and why it’s necessary for me to do a good job. Perhaps part of the problem is that nobody ever sees this part of the work because we’re studying and breaking down the script at home. Alone.

Additionally, it’s always a great idea to include me in production meetings, tech scouts, and rehearsals. If I’ve had time to prepare my breakdowns, I can point out potential issues with blocking or shooting plans or remind everyone about an important moment or insert shot described in the script.

Learn from Experience

Early in my career, I chalked it up to inexperience. I was new, and many of them were too. But it kept happening, some films calling for a script supervisor to start on set the next morning-no time for prep even if it were paid!

At script supervisor meetups I learned that this was not a new-or uncommon problem. Even at union level, script supervisors still fight for enough prep days, camera fees, box rentals, etc.

In fact, Sylvia Parker ( No Time To Die, The Favourite) told me that a medium-budget film she scripted years ago sent the second unit to shoot pick-ups of a large battle scene without a script supervisor. She had recommended her trainee script the scene, but the UPM decided they weren’t necessary. So, the scene (involving lots of extras) was shot with the stunt doubles’ weapons all in the wrong hands and it didn’t match main unit.

In the end, they had to reshoot it entirely-this time with the trainee! This is an extreme but not uncommon example. Productions often try to save money by not paying modest script supervisor’s wages, and then have to pay many times more in the end to correct mistakes that could easily have been avoided with a fully prepared script supervisor.

One director I worked with told me, “I really don’t need a script supervisor, the producer made me hire one.”

And after being the first script supervisor experienced directors had ever worked with time and time again, it started to become clear. How could producers and directors understand/appreciate what script supervisors do if they’ve never worked with a skilled professional before?

This lack of understanding of even the basics of our job leads many to believe they can just give a software program to a PA and call them a script supervisor. When they get bad results, it isn’t just that film that suffers-it’s all of us, because it negates our value and denigrates the necessity of the position itself!

We Need a Podcast About This!

It’s frankly infuriating that so many think we are simply “note-takers” and/or frivolous members of the crew that can be easily eliminated. Something had to be done!

So I created the podcast, “Script Supervisors: Unsung Heroes of Film & TV,” a backstage pass to the process of filmmaking from one of the most difficult and little-known department head positions on a film crew.

All 10 episodes clock in under 30 minutes and include advice from over a dozen opinionated script supervisors from across the U.S. with experience in everything from low-budget indie films and commercials all the way to multiple Oscar and Emmy award-winning and nominated films & TV shows including Black Panther, Star Wars Episode IX, Mr. Robot, Boardwalk Empire, Fear the Walking Dead, Harriet, Life of Pi, Pen15 … and the list goes on!

Each episode includes a short interview with one of our esteemed guests and a compilation of the best and most pertinent information on a single theme distilled into a fast-paced, funny, and extremely educational topic such as, “What the heck is a script supervisor?” or, “Why you should stop calling us scripty.”

I hope you will listen and help spread the word. Together we can help educate our colleagues and dispel some of the myths about our amazing and misunderstood craft!

Originally published at https://nofilmschool.com on October 13, 2022.

Creating the web series Baked Goodes was one of the most fun and exciting times of my life. It was one of those things that when it started, there was no way anyone could have predicted where it would lead — and that has everything to do with the unique way it all came together.

It all started with a post in a Facebook group for female comedians in Los Angeles in the summer of 2015. The post said something to the effect of: “my job just ended and I have some free time. Who wants to make something?”

I and about 25 other women responded. A meeting was set at the Inner Sanctum at UCB in Hollywood. From the jump, it was a 100% democratic, collaborative process. From “what should we make?” to “what should we write about?” and “who are the characters in this world?” Everyone pitched ideas then we voted for our favorites. As a collective, we decided to make a web series that revolved around how hard it is to be “successful” as women — and what that even means — as well as sexism, ageism, religion, and marijuana (at the time) being illegal. You know, all non-controversial topics. We decided early on that we wanted it to be inclusive and progressive, but not preachy.

We went in with no predetermined expectations or agenda. It was a group of women, after all.

A month or so after our weekly meetings started, the attendance started to fall, and we were left with 5 women. Molly, the original “poster,” Mack — who knew Molly through improv, Anna and me who randomly saw the Facebook post and thought it looked fun, and Erin who was brand new to LA and introduced to me by a mutual friend from Chicago the week before. As luck would have it, it was the perfect group of five, all of our individual skillsets complimented each other perfectly! We became the creators, producers, casting directors, actors, director, art department, and crafty (more on all that later).

Just like in a “real” writer’s room, as a group we broke down the characters and backstory, and pitched storylines and episodes. Then, not at all like a typical writer’s room — we created doodle polls to vote on our favorites, and the episodes with the most votes became the ones we wrote. Everything was democratic. Everything was fair. The group talked about our process on an episode of the Podcast “The Other 50%” (sadly I was out of town and had to miss the recording, but it’s a great conversation!)

Once we all agreed on the number of episodes we would make (a “Baker’s Dozen!” haha) we assigned episodes (evenly, of course), and set out to write them.

At our weekly meeting at Anna’s house, we would write and review the episodes, provide feedback, and sometimes even group write while Anna typed the script on her television screen. It felt like a writer’s room and I loved it. Anna’s boyfriend Brandon was often there, and often that came in handy when we had a question about a male character or if we weren’t sure about our biases (we were 5 white women, and very aware of our potential for implicit bias and were grateful for his honest opinion as a black man).

Once we were happy with the scripts we started production, and as a group, of course, decided on the roles. As luck would have it, we had ended up creating 3 distinct main characters that Molly, Mack and I each really related to. I can’t remember if Mack was first in saying she would like to play Angela or if I pitched myself as Jan (pronounced JOHN, because it was silly and funny), but everyone agreed on that casting. Then, we actually had to convince Molly to play Julie! We all knew she was perfect for the role, with her background and comedy chops, but she said she didn’t want to assume — so we voted on it. All in favor! Then it came to directing, and when Anna sheepishly threw her hat in the ring, we all enthusiastically said YES!!! Erin was happy to “just” produce because that was her wheelhouse and what she wanted to do. Bless her for handling all the SAG paperwork and insurance matters!

It all was coming together perfectly!! Everyone pitched in on different production tasks — from securing locations and casting, to hiring crew and creating props. We did it all and split it all up. Of course, I was the one who got the GIANT BAG OF WEED “prop” you see in the pilot. (I actually got a dispensary to loan it to me — as long as it weighed the same when I returned it. You better believe I was OBSESSED with making sure nobody opened the bag! haha).

It was so much fun, there is nothing like having a group all committed to the same goal!

As we got more into pre-production, Brandon got more involved and became one of our amazing PAs and a part of the crafty department. He and Anna cooked up a STORM!

What a whirlwind! We block shot all 13 episodes over the course of two long weekends, which looking back, seems kinda crazy. We shot in 10 different locations — many with multiple set changes — and had over 70 actors in total come through in just 6 days!!! We were committed to hiring as many women as possible, and did our best to hire WOC both in front of and behind the camera. I’m happy to report we had an almost entirely female crew!

After production, we (as a group, obviously!) went through post, created a series bible, and attended pitch meetings. It was a labor of love, and we were thrilled to see the fruits of our labor. We were featured in Newsweek, as “What to Watch on Marijuana’s Biggest Holiday” and were the “Afternoon Delight” on Decider.com, as well as several other blogs and podcasts.

Soon, we were approached by the community manager of (the game app) Hempire to sponsor us with branding for two episodes! By this point, Erin had decided to move on to different projects and we asked Brandon if he wanted to step in and be an “official” member of the group (even though he was already practically a member). Of course, he said yes! We were so excited, and quickly got to work pitching ideas — like we always had, by consensus. Only this time we also had a sponsor with final approval over our episode ideas, scripts and final edit (kinda like a studio or network would ;-) ). Thankfully, they were super cool and loved our ideas, so there was very little they asked us to change. Plus, they sent us cool swag for the episode (see if you can find the Hempire sock haha).

When it was time to shoot, sadly, some of our season one crew were already working on other projects (but hooray for them working!) so we had to hire a different group. However, again we managed to have an almost entirely female crew!

When the episodes were released, Hempire featured us on an in-game billboard! Rad!

After that, we all went back to working on our own projects that had been put to the side during this amazing adventure as well as our (industry) day jobs and such. But every so often, an opportunity comes up either to submit Baked Goodes or pitch a new show, and we get back together and collaborate.

An award-winning dark comedy writer, performer and professional Script Supervisor, Caryn Ruby has worked alongside OSCAR and EMMY AWARD-WINNING crew on award-winning projects. Her work has been featured on “Good Morning America,” “The Wendy Williams Show,” and at Chicago’s famed Second City. She’s shared the stage with Tiffany Haddish, Donnell Rawlings, and Iliza Schlessinger among others. Most recently, her pilot “Morrieville” won Best Dark Comedy Teleplay at the Houston Comedy Film Festival. She was selected as one of 17 fellows for Blackmagic Collective’s Filmmaker Advancement Initiative.

Originally published at https://www.eccentricartists.space.

Weed has always been good to me. I have fond memories of pulling seeds and stems out of shitty brown ’80s Midwestern weed and smoking it from a kazoo or an apple. I feel very lucky to have discovered Cannabis early in life; tho it probably helped that every time I have more than 3 alcohol-of-any-kind drinks, I vomit.

My childhood was pretty unhappy, and I was desperate to escape in any way possible. I was 7 years old the first time I ran away. After my parents caught on and began capturing me at the end of the driveway, I realized that was no longer a viable method of escape. Once I discovered cannabis, everything changed. The euphoria, stimulating conversations, deep connections, and delicious food experiences were beautiful escapes from the hopelessness I felt at home.

Now, I write and perform comedy. Shocking, right?

Caryn Ruby, Mackenzie Horras, and Molly Reynolds in their web series “Baked Goodes“

Being stoned onstage does NOT WORK for me. It takes me out of the moment of the scene/joke and into the moment of “can people tell I’m high right now?” “am I acting different?” “do my hands look normal?” and other unnecessary thoughts. However, creating and writing when I’m high is A-Mazing. Sometimes I smoke a few hits of a top-shelf sativa and the jokes and ideas will come to me without any effort at all. It can be challenging to focus for long periods of time, but I just read an article (yes, literally in the middle of writing this I got sidetracked by checking emails and Twitter and a few articles…) about how the secret to more productivity is working less. (I swear!). I learned you cannot work creatively for hours on end. So there! I’m doing it right!

My theory is that cannabis helps me by simultaneously quieting and focusing my mind while allowing thoughts and ideas from my higher self (heh) to make their way in. These revelations often turn into bits or show ideas, like the time I got high with my boyfriend at the time and thought to myself “who the fuck is this loser living on my couch, eating all my food, and not paying any rent?” Had I just stayed high, maybe I would have ended that relationship much sooner.

When I’m high, it’s like my smartness peeks in and I think more clearly and make better decisions. I used to do a bunch of jokes in my stand-up routines about this, like when “high me” knew I shouldn’t bring my pot candy on vacation with my sister and her kids, yet sober me packed it anyway. Or the time sober me thought it was a good idea to get on an airplane with an eighth in my vagina. I’m like Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hiiiiiiiigh-d, if their eyes were perpetually at half-mast.

It’s not that I can’t write or create when I’m sober; I actually do most of my work that way. But if I’m stuck on something or trying to brainstorm… a nice sativa bong rip gives me a little extra boost. If I just want to chill and have a snack, I’ll opt for an indica strain, and if I’ve got a few hours of free time in my future where I don’t have to go anywhere or be responsible, I’ll eat an edible like a THC/CBD Kiva Bar and see where my creativity takes me. I may come up with an amazing idea. Or I could get a burst of productivity and start doing the dishes or stretching — have you ever done high yoga? It’s amazing, like you can actually FEEL your body from the inside. *Bonus* busywork is a great way to get any problems out of your mind and allow the answers to just come to you. TWO BIRDS! I’m telling you, it’s like I’ve figured out the secret of the Universe. At least it feels like it. But then again, I’m high right now.

Originally published at www.jane-dope.com on December 7, 2017.

In an effort to be prepared for “anything,” the US government has begun preliminary preparations to build a giant port-a-potty. Representatives site recent terrorist threats and our aging population as the impetus. Despite concerns regarding cost, logistics and potential for use, the Senate recently voted in favor of building a massive port-a-potty which will ultimately stretch 25 square miles and be within firing range of most major metropolitan areas. The bill narrowly passed 229 to 181 with 23 abstained; opposition coming mostly from Democrats.

Key proponent and supporter, republican representative from Mass, Strong Dung said, “Of course we all hope it won’t have to be put to use; but I feel safer knowing that if the day does come that we need it, Americans will have a place to evacuate their bowels no matter what.”

“It wasn’t an easy decision, but to defend this great nation we must be prepared for anything” said President Barack Obama, “as the world’s premier superpower, we will take every precaution necessary to eliminate the possibility of getting caught with our pants down and nowhere to go.”

Representatives from Porty Portables and Proctor & Gamble hailed the pending construction as a win for America.

Many citizens are also in favor of such a large scale production. Aaron Blunt, a local unemployed man put it simply, “I just think we’re better off safe than sorry. Plus, they said it would create jobs, and I’m all for that.”

Duluth, IA grandmother Annette Nevins also supports the construction. “I think it’s a good idea ’cause I occasionally have trouble making it to the bathroom on time. Plus, with all the recent salmonella outbreaks and food poisoning, it could come in handy for you too. Besides…” she added, “you never know.”

One Ohio resident shared a common sentiment, “I don’t get it, if there’s no plumbing, where does all the crap go?”

Lead Democratic opponent, Robert Bender from Oregon had this to say: “I do not approve of spending the people’s hard earned tax dollars on something we don’t know if we will ever need while at the same time cutting social programs.”

John Pass, a Missouri resident summed it up like this, “I just saw the commercial with the family and the dog where they had nowhere to go, so I think being prepared is never bad.”

© Absrd Comedy, LLC — a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Originally published at www.absrdcomedy.com on August 3, 2015.

Providence, RI — In a groundbreaking verdict, the state of Rhode Island passed a law preventing anyone from telling teenagers what to do.

Thomas Ryder, Rhode Island’s governor, believes they did the right thing.

“The time has come for us to stop telling teenagers how to live their lives,” he said. “Our country is in a deep financial crisis. Several states have shut down schools to cut costs. Allowing teenagers the freedom to make their own decisions will hopefully result in many dropping out, creating less strain on the school system. Plus, with their lack of education, these kids will end up competing for jobs with illegal immigrants, which, over time, could help with the immigration crisis as well.”

Carol Sheen, a 33-year-old state senator with no children, recalls her own youth.

“I remember when I was in high school and legally almost an adult, I didn’t appreciate my parents telling me what to do,” she said. “But nowadays, it’s not just relatives attempting to control teenagers lives.”

Sheen refers to a voluntary poll of 12 percent of the nation’s teenagers, revealing that parents, more than any other category, tell teens what to do with 94 percent of teens responding positively. Grandparents and other relatives follow at 82 percent; neighbors at 63 percent; store owners/employees at 57 percent; and peers at 38 percent.

“Today’s teens are much smarter than we were at their age and I believe allowing juveniles to run their own lives will substantially benefit our country,” Sheen continued. “What have we got to lose?”

Teenagers throughout the state of Rhode Island are thrilled with their forthcoming autonomy.

“It’s like, hashtag ship bae[sic], finally,” said Jenny Pringle from Cranston. “I’m 16. I have sex. Pfft [sic].”

“I can’t wait,” added Jenny’s mother. “She can move out, screw whoever she wants, buy her own food and live in her own filth.”

“My 15-year-old has his own gun and can shoot it; he’s threatened me many times, and says I can’t make him do his chores,” said Portsmouth resident, Joseph Bill. “Now that the state took his side, I have no recourse.”

Joseph’s son Bobby felt vindicated by the new law, stating simply, “Yeah.”

Critics of the law include parents groups such as The Mommie’s Network and Great Parents. Joan Rothman, founder of Great Parents, believes minors are incapable of making sound decisions.

“Teenagers aren’t just small adults, their brains are still developing,” she said. “If they don’t get proper nutrition and stay in school, we will soon have a nation of illiterate ingrates.”

“Like all da time people gets in my face n tries to control my life[sic],” said Aiden, a 13-year-old from Newport. “My moms’s[sic]so basic like, ‘do your homework,’ n[sic]my dads’s[sic]all, ‘brush your teeth, and don’t forget to floss’ n[sic]this jerk on the street yelled [at]me don’t smoke! How’m I suppose to play Mario Kart 8 wit all that yellin[sic]?”

Perhaps in a hint of things to come, Ethan [last name withheld]a 12-year-old from New Shoreham (Block Island) celebrated the passing of the law by drinking 23 espressos, putting his pants on his head and running through Starbucks screaming, “I’m Spongebob Hatpants!” He was taken to the local police station where he was given a warning and picked up by his father three hours later.

Local law enforcement agrees the time for this law has come.

“Look, we’re broke,” explained PoliceCaptain Hardwick. “With the extra revenue from increased MIPs [Minor In Possession] and DUIs we’ll be able to buy more armored vehicles. I personally could use a BearCat.”

Several states are currently considering similar bills.

© Absrd Comedy, LLC — a parody site for entertainment purposes only. Laugh. Enjoy! Individual opinions expressed are those of the individual authors, not necessarily of absrdComedy, and may not even be those of the individual authors.

Originally published at www.absrdcomedy.com on April 16, 2015.