What I called “figuring it out” was actually distance, resentment, and a relationship I didn’t want to fully face.

I stand here today not really knowing what my business is.

And that’s hard for me to accept.

Let me bring you into something real.

I’ve been building this business since January 1st, 2023.

Even when I took breaks… it never really stopped.

It was always there… online, in my mind, in my heart.

And over time, it changed. A lot.

As I grew, it grew.

As I learned, it expanded.

As I deepened into my work… somatics, inner child, pleasure, intimacy, embodiment, energy, sexuality. It all started weaving into something bigger.

Something powerful.

But right now?

I feel disconnected from it.

I believe everything is a relationship.

And the truth is…

I don’t have a clean relationship with my business.

I actually uprooted it.

I let go of my in-person clients.

It was strategic… but there was business loss? There’s truth there I get to own.

And instead of really looking at that…

I started blaming the business.

Saying it wasn’t working.

Saying it wasn’t clear.

Acting like I needed to “figure it out.”

But that’s not the truth.

The truth is… I pulled away.

I sacrificed a lot for this path.

I left a stable paramedic career.

I distanced myself from my family & friends in variety of ways.

I triggered people.

I stepped out of what felt normal and into something that doesn’t always make sense to others.

And somewhere along the way…

I started resenting my business for it.

Not because it’s wrong.

But because of what it’s required from me.

Yesterday I sat down with a friend… he’s a business consultant.

Even if I was feeling resistance and didn’t fully want to go there… I know I wanted to do a business check so… I did.

And we mapped everything out.

The vision? Clear.

I know what I want.

1:1 clients.

Powerful group containers.

A bold, alive community.

Retreats. Land. Festivals. Books. Impact.

I want to build something that actually changes people.

Something deep. Something real.

That’s not where I’m stuck.

It’s not the work I’m disconnected with but with the relationship I have with my business.

The moment we got into pricing… marketing… what I’m actually selling…

I could feel it in my body.

Resistance.

Tension.

I didn’t want to hear it.

Because I already know.

I know my marketing needs to be cleaned up.

I know I need to show up differently online.

I know I need to move.

And honestly I already know how to do that.

And if I do that?

My business will grow.

And here’s the part I didn’t want to see:

If my business grows…

I have to be with it.

Fully.

And right now… I don’t want to be.

Because I’ve been in a resentful relationship with it.

It’s like being in a relationship where you’ve built up distance.

You know those moments…

The cold energy.

Short answers.

Quiet pulling away.

That’s what I’ve been doing with my business.

Which is almost ironic.

Because a part of my business is helping individuals and couples exactly here.

Relationships.

Connection.

Communication.

And yet I let myself not see it… because “it’s just a business.”

But it’s not.

It’s something I’ve given my time, energy, and life to.

That’s a relationship.

And the truth is… I don’t want it to fail.

I don’t want it to disappear.

Because I know this work matters.

It changed my life.

I’ve seen it change others.

I’ve seen the transformation it offered my clients.

I know it’s meant to go further.

So this isn’t about lack of clarity.

It’s not about not knowing what to do.

It’s about the distance I created.

The resentment I didn’t want to admit.

The blame that was easier than taking ownership.

When your business is this tied to your growth…

it gets blurry.

And that’s where I am right now.

So I’m not rebuilding my business.

I’m rebuilding my relationship with it.

I will flirt, communicate, and connect back to her.

Letting myself actually meet it again.

Without the blame.

Without the resistance.

Without pretending I don’t know.

Because I do know.

And that’s exactly why this is the work.

Where in your life are you not actually confused…

just disconnected or refusing to see the relationship dynamic?

I started hosting calls again, and it feels so amazing.

For a while, I held space here and there with friends, but nothing concrete… nothing in my fullness. I had taken a quiet break from life, allowing myself to simply exist and trust the unfolding.

During that time, I worked as a nanny and in a club to support myself. It wasn’t a detour; it was part of the journey. I allowed it all to shape me, teach me, and deepen my understanding of the human experience.

A few months ago I started a deep dive in a Sex, Love, Relationship program (VITA with Layla Martin). This deepened the inner journey and recently has blossomed into stepping back into my business.

The last time I held space formally was in mid-2025. I did try to launch a program November 2025 but it was a zero dollar launch and propelled me further into my own little world away from my business… it did open me in unexpected ways.

Recently, I began showing up consistently on Instagram again, and something within me whispered: It’s time. So, I opened a small group experiment… an intimate and intentional space for women for the month of April. I already love it.

Yesterday, we had our first live call. It was beautiful. I guided the group through a somatic practice followed by an embodied visualization rooted in their felt-sense reality. Afterward, I was so energized I felt like crying. It reminded me just how alive this work makes me feel and how embodied I currently am.

Today, I sent an audio note to our group chat, inviting them to question their beliefs and expand into new possibilities. Later, I held a 1:1 session and challenged myself to show up without over-preparing… to trust my intuition fully.

The only preperation was to show up… Grounded. Present. Alive.

The session unfolded into a powerful energetic reset, chakra opening, sensual embodiment, and a liberating striptease. I followed her energy and honored what felt true in the moment. You could see the blockages melting away. It felt as though a woman was coming home to herself.

And in that space, I came home to myself too. I remembered my truth. I came back into relationship with my business.

These past two days reminded me how much I love this work… how needed, powerful, and transformative it is. They reaffirmed the depth of my intuition and the ever-expanding range of my gifts but more so my way of allow everyone to see the gifts within themselves.

I am growing. My skill set is evolving. My capacity continues to widen…bolder, deeper, and more alive.

I have two more 1:1 clients in the next two weeks, and I am filled with excitement. Returning to the power of this work moves me to tears…

I am soo excited to see what my business grows into in the months and years to come. The visions and desires are powerful♡

Because this is more than a profession.

It’s my passion, my truth, my art, my love, and a way of life.

And I am finally home allowing my tuth to shine.

I am excited to continuing sharing with more depth!

When I say art, what do you picture?

A glowing oil painting drying in the sun.
A hand-carved wooden railing.
A mural sprayed across the side of a building you pass every day.
Clothes designed and sewn that no one has ever worn before.

Maybe you think of a photograph that will tell stories long after we’re gone.
Or a dance piece that speaks louder than words ever could.

Or maybe… if you slow down enough, you see the sunset spilling color across a field and realize… that counts too.

Art is everywhere.
But only if you choose to see it.

The Quiet Devaluation of Art

Somewhere along the way, we made art secondary.

We labeled it a hobby.
Something extra.
Something you do when everything else is taken care of.

We started treating it as optional… rather than essential.

And then we called that maturity.

But what if that “maturity” is actually a kind of numbness?

A disconnection from feeling.
From expression.
From the very thing that makes us human.

Art Is Not Decoration. It’s Aliveness.

Art makes you feel.

It can crack you open in seconds
bring you to tears,
or fill your chest with a kind of joy you didn’t know you needed.

It reminds you that you’re not alone.
That someone, somewhere, has felt this too.

Art connects.
Art heals.
Art reveals.

For those who create, it becomes more than an activity… it becomes a way of moving through life.

A way to release.
A way to process.
A way to evolve.

Art doesn’t just reflect reality.
It transforms it.

We Are the Art

What if art isn’t something outside of us?

What if we are the art?

The way your body moves when no one is watching.
The way your voice shakes when you tell the truth.
The tears that fall when something finally breaks open inside you.

That’s art.

So is your laughter.
Your softness.
Your desire.
Your pleasure.

Yes, even that.

The sounds you make in joy, in release, in ecstasy…
those are expressions of life moving through you.

Art isn’t always polished.
It’s not always pretty.

Sometimes it looks like shaking.
Like screaming.
Like unraveling.

And sometimes it looks like a quiet smile.

And all that is art meant to be acknowledged.

The Body as a Living Canvas

Your body tells a story.

The softness of youth.
The marks, the scars, the changes.
The lines that form from years of laughter, of living.

None of it is separate from art.

It is the art.

We’ve been taught to hide parts of ourselves.
To control, to perfect, to present.

But art doesn’t come from control.
It comes from expression.

From allowing.

From being seen.

And maybe if we saw our life as art… we wouldn’t only come back to our truths but also hold space for inner healing.

Living as the Artist of Your Life

There’s a way of living where everything becomes art.

The way you breathe.
The way you walk into a room.
The way you meet someone’s eyes.

It’s not about performing.
It’s about presence.

It’s about choosing to create. Moment by moment… rather than just react.

When you start to see life this way, something shifts.

You’re no longer just living.
You’re creating your life as you move through it.

Your reality becomes something you participate in shaping.

A Return to Feeling

Maybe the invitation isn’t to “make more art.”

Maybe it’s to see more art.
To feel more.
To soften back into the parts of ourselves we’ve pushed aside.

An invitation to see art in everything around us and in the way we live.

Because art was never gone.

We just stopped recognizing it.

Life Is Art

You are art.
Your expression is art.
Your way of loving, speaking, moving… art.

And your life?

That’s your greatest masterpiece.

I was on a zoom call with my friends and we got naked within three minutes. The music was on and we just couldn’t resist the quick strip tease. After that we put on some clothes and started talking about our life plans.

Nothing sexual in sight. And yet, yes… we were turned on.

Not in the way we’ve been taught to think about it.

There was no performance. No goal. No script being followed. Just bodies, breath, and a kind of presence that made everything feel more alive. What was activated wasn’t sexuality in the way Western culture defines it. It was something deeper. Life force. Sensuality. Eros. Feeling. Creation.

The kind of energy that sharpens your senses. That makes your skin more awake. That brings you fully into your body.

By today’s standards, that might immediately get labeled as sexual. But that label feels incomplete (well it is incomplete). Because what we experienced wasn’t about sex… it was about aliveness.

And somewhere along the way, those two got collapsed into the same thing.

Our culture has oversexualized sexuality while simultaneously disconnecting us from it and from our bodies.

We were taught that the body is something to hide, something to control, something that becomes acceptable only under certain conditions. Sexuality was framed as taboo, something shameful or inappropriate… until suddenly it wasn’t only taboo. It became something to sell. Something to perform.

Something to package into something digestible and marketable.

So now we exist in this strange contradiction.

Sex is everywhere. And yet, genuine connection to our own bodies is rare. Sexuality is consumed and yet the true embodiment is still taboo.

We hear things like: I don’t know if I’ve ever had an orgasm. I didn’t really want to, but I went along with it. I don’t know what I like. I tried to sound like what I saw online, but it didn’t feel real…

These experiences are far more common than we tend to admit.

More common than feeling deeply connected, expressed, and free in our bodies. More common than experiences of surrender, presence, and genuine pleasure.

Somewhere in this cultural shift, sexuality got flattened. It became surface-level. Performance-driven. Detached from feeling.

And in that process, we didn’t just oversexualize the body… we also stripped it of its natural depth.

We removed the erotic from places it has always existed.

From birth.
From breastfeeding.
From touch, from play, from the simple act of enjoying someone’s presence.

From all creation projects.

From sensuality and aliveness.

We forgot that erotic energy isn’t inherently about sex. It’s about sensitivity. It’s about being awake in your body. It’s about feeling. About being fully present.

Along the way our social construct also lost the view that our bodies are sacred, beautiful, and a piece of art. Our bodies became shameful, a piece of temptation, and another thing to consume. I am forever grateful for those how continue to see the beauty, innocents, and sacredness of our bodies.

It’s to come back to the truth that sexuality is alive, embodied, and primal… and that our erotisms is also innocent, a powerful energy, natural, and not sexual in the way we came to see it.

At the same time, important conversations around harm, violation, and abuse have rightly taken up space. Those realities matter. They need to be spoken about.

But in holding space for those truths, something else quietly faded into the background.

The understanding that our aliveness… our human pulse is rooted in this same energy we’ve learned to fear, judge, or suppress.

So now, when that energy shows up, it’s often labeled as too much. Too intense. Too inappropriate. Too easily sexualized.

And we respond by shutting it down.

By disconnecting.
By numbing.
By pulling away from our own bodies.

But what if the issue isn’t that we are “too sexual”?

What if the issue is that we’ve lost the ability to recognize the difference between sexuality as performance… and erotic energy as aliveness?

What if skin could just be skin?

Not automatically sexual. Not automatically an invitation. Not something that needs to be hidden or consumed. Just human.

A body, existing as it is.

Because this isn’t about becoming more sexual.

It’s about becoming more connected.

More aware.
More present.
More alive inside ourselves.

And maybe the real question isn’t whether something is sexual or not.

Maybe it’s whether we’re actually allowing ourselves to feel at all. Are you actually living in full aliveness, or trying to play by rules that were never inherently true?

Most people won’t make it.

In my paramedic program during the height of COVID, 31 students started.

Four graduated.

In my pleasure coaching certification, around 94 students began. Maybe between 40 or 60 finished. And of those.. how many actually built businesses or used the practices in their daily lives? How many stayed when it got hard?

Because starting isn’t rare.

Finishing is.

Out of 200 people who say they want to run a marathon, write a book, start a YouTube channel, launch a business, join a sports team, or finally learn to dance…

How many actually begin?

And of those... how many keep going when motivation fades, when money is tight, when no one is watching, when self-doubt gets loud?

Maybe you stop the moment it stops feeling exciting.

I almost didn’t start again.

I almost went back to paramedic. I even considered becoming a firefighter (as I am certified). It would’ve been easier. Structured. Predictable. Respected.

Instead, after three years and two months in business and a few months off where I questioned everything... I’m starting again.

Not everyone comes back after a break.

Entrepreneurship, learning to paint, your first 4 note piano song, the first mile run... can stay invisible for a long time. No applause. No guarantee. Just you and your self-doubt.

That’s the part no one talks about.

Everyone loves to say they want something.
Very few want it when it’s inconvenient.

We love the starting energy.
We celebrate the launch.
We post about the dream.

But the middle?

The quiet seasons.
The plateaus.
The months where it feels like nothing is happening.

The messy middle.

That’s where most people disappear.

I’m not talking about the ones who pivot because they realize it’s misaligned.

I’m talking about the ones who know.

Deep down, they know this matters to them.

But fear is loud. Comfort is seductive. And quitting can sound logical.

So out of 200... how many stay?

The ones who:
• Commit to themselves when no one else claps.
• Take action even when it’s imperfect.
• Ask for help instead of silently drowning.
• Start again after stopping.

Because here’s the truth:

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

You can write a book over 20 years.
A few pages after work. A chapter during vacation. A return to it after raising children.

You can train for the marathon slowly.
Build the business in seasons.
Dance badly before you dance well.

Consistency doesn’t mean obsession.

It means coming back.

Again.
And again.
And again.

Failing once doesn’t disqualify you.

Stopping forever does.

Here’s the truth no one sells:

You don’t need more motivation.

You need a higher tolerance for discomfort.
You need to decide that your word to yourself means something.

Not forever. Not dramatically.

Just today.

Because the world isn’t run by the most talented.

It’s run by the ones who stayed.

We don’t know what the future holds. So why not try?

I would much rather say, “I failed trying,” than whisper at 70, “I wish I had.”

I’ve done the “I’ll start next year” thing.
Five years later, I was still thinking about it.
The truth of a multipassionate with too many ideas?
Later never arrives.
It just quietly becomes regret.

So what’s the thing that excites you?
The idea that keeps tapping your shoulder?
The project you keep postponing?

You’re allowed to start.
You’re allowed to be bad at it.
You’re allowed to take breaks.
You’re allowed to begin again.

Most people won’t make it.

But the ones who do aren’t special.

They just keep coming back.

Will you?

It’s Valentine’s Day this weekend. The recognized day of love, relationships, and connection with others.

Some celebrate their relationships, decorate with hearts, fall deeper in love…

Others think about past relationships, feel lonely, go mindlessly party with strangers, and scroll through Tinder wishing they had love.

And then there’s the anti-Valentine’s group. The ones who feel like Valentine’s Day is just another day. They don’t believe in the holiday, are neutral about it, or simply don’t care.

So this post isn’t about Valentine’s Day, the history of Cupid, or the spicy things you could do with a partner (although that last one sounds pretty fun… maybe a future post).

This is about the remembrance of self-love.

On a holiday that’s big and loud about love, I believe we should also talk loudly about loving ourselves.

The ways we hold ourselves.
Love ourselves.
Celebrate ourselves.

I also believe we can only love and see someone as deeply as we love and see ourselves. All the time you pour into loving yourself benefits your partner(s) and everyone around you.

What type of touch, gifts, affection, affirmation, attention, energy, and love do you crave?
What do you love to receive?

These are answers we should know and even more, things we should be able to offer ourselves.

Yes, I understand some things are limited to partners like a deep back massage, cuddles, the affection of another. But there’s also the truth that we are able to offer ourselves so much love.

And I want to add context: we are community-based creatures. We evolved in community. We are wired to want, desire, and surrender into the safe touch of another.

But in the society… especially the Western civilization I live in, community as it once existed centuries ago doesn’t really exist in the same way. And with that has grown an even deeper need for self-love and compassion.

Self-love was always important. Maybe it was once seen as normal… not even questioned that a person would take care of themselves deeply. I haven’t read the research on that.

But back to this moment.

Giving ourselves love should be non-negotiable.

Love is the way through. It’s the way to connect to the highest part of ourselves and to our wildest potential.

The things self-love can help us connect with and achieve are profound.

With that said, here are 10 ways to give yourself love anytime, and as often as possible.

1. Spend Quality Time With Yourself

Whether that’s your favorite hobby, taking yourself out on a date, having a luscious bath, or simply slowing down.

Surrender into your own enjoyment. Deepen into your own love.

2. Listen to Your Inner Truth

One of the deepest ways to love yourself is to honor your boundaries.

What is your body telling you?
Is it a yes or a no?

Truly take the time to listen.

3. Touch and Truly Feel Your Skin

When was the last time you surrendered and got lost in the play of your own touch?

How does your skin feel under your fingertips?
What parts of your body enjoy your touch the most?

Play with speed. Pressure. Sensation. Variation.

Get lost in yourself.

4. Learn to Enjoy Releasing Stress

The journey of nervous system health is ongoing.

Learn to find pleasure in the process. Shake your body. Move. Release.

Healing becomes pleasurable when you connect it to self-love and to the truth that you’re doing it for your highest good and joy.

5. Spend Time in Front of a Mirror

Fall in love with your reflection.

A mirror asks you to face yourself. To reconnect with your body.

We live in a society that has created separation from our bodies and confidence. The mirror can be a powerful way through that.

6. Sit With Your Thoughts

What’s going on inside your mind?

Sit in silence and listen. What thoughts arise? What is your inner world telling you?

Self-love includes awareness.

7. Stay Present With Yourself

Life only happens now.

Presence doesn’t require more time… it requires more attention in the moments you’re already living.

Can you be fully present while brushing your teeth? Taking a shower? Walking?

When I first began practicing presence, I challenged myself to stay fully aware while walking down or up any set of stairs. Even that small action made a difference.

It starts simple. Then it grows.

8. Sit With Your Breath

What is your breath doing?

Is it deep? Shallow? Fast? Slow?

Your breath can be medicine if you allow it to be. Slow, conscious breathing can bring your body back into regulation.

9. Learn Your Body (Physically and Internally)

What foods make your body feel good?
How balanced are your hormones?
How is your nervous system functioning?

Knowing your body. Caring for your body.

That is respect. And that is deep self-love.

10. Explore Your Pleasure

We all deserve deep pleasure, ecstasy, and bliss.

You can explore pleasure through sexuality. You can explore it through the pleasure of living… the way sunlight feels on your skin, the way music moves you, the way your body dances.

Pleasure is self-love.

A daily self-love practice goes a long way.

Yes, you can have a self-love mantra. But I believe self-love comes from action. From self-respect. From the way you decide to live. From knowing yourself. From consistent, present, embodied action.

Falling in love with yourself within the complexities of human life… is one of the most profound paths you can walk.

Some days it’s easier than others. It’s not always simple. But the more you practice, deepen, and surrender into it, the more connection you’ll experience.

The path of self-love has been a long road for me.

Now I see myself as my number one supporter.

I know that whatever happens, I have myself.

And that is one of the strongest foundations anyone can have.

I was a paramedic.

Even though I was trained to respond in chaos and I was amazing at staying calm. Not once do I remember being taught how to release stress.

Wouldn’t you think in a field so chaotic it would be the norm?
At annual training. Regular check-ins. Reminders.

But no. I don’t recall this being taught to me. Maybe being told to talk about it, have people you love, and even get a therapist. But release energy and complete stress cycles… nope.

There was a small mental health class in college, but depth? Nervous system regulation? Stress cycle completion? I have no memory of that. And if I don’t recall it four years out of college, I doubt seasoned medics would either.

And sadly, it’s not something we learn on the job.

In a society where stress is constant, something that should be natural for our bodies is no longer encouraged.

Although I speak through the lens of a former paramedic, this is truly for everyone.

Yes, stress looks different across fields. But every job carries it.

Healthcare and endless movement.
Nursing care and losing your resident.
A café lunch rush when your coworker doesn’t show.
The document you forgot to send to your boss.
Your client telling their lawyer the full truth while walking into court.

The list never ends.

Maybe it’s not even the job. Maybe it’s going into work after a breakup. After breaking your favorite cup that morning. Or simply feeling heavy… and now you’re stressed because fully showing up doesn’t feel available.

As complex humans, we carry stress until we release it.

Sometimes we release it unknowingly… the bathtub cry after the kids are asleep, the scream in the car alone, the workout class, the long jog, the singing session that feels like medicine.

But if you rely only on unconscious release, you will accumulate more than you discharge over your lifetime.

Accumulated stress can look like:

• A glass of wine “just because.”
• Numbness.
• A smoke break you don’t even want.
• Lashing out.
• Anger that feels disproportionate.
• Heaviness.
• Always being on the verge of tears.
• Loss of energy.

Or maybe you just don’t feel as alive.

For those in heavier fields, chronic accumulation can form into complex trauma from constant exposure, suppression, and avoidance.

What Does It Mean to Complete a Stress Cycle?

The phrase “completing the stress cycle” is often associated with Peter Levine, and the first time I heard it, it just made sense.

Let me explain it in my own words.

Completing the stress cycle means allowing your body to finish the physiological process it began during a stressful event.

When we experience stress, the body releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. These prepare us for action… fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. But the body does not reset simply because the event ends. It resets when the physiological activation completes.

Research in stress physiology shows that without physical discharge or emotional processing, the nervous system can remain activated long after the stressor is gone (Sapolsky, 2004). Over time, chronic activation is linked to burnout, immune disruption, cardiovascular strain, and mood disorders.

The body was designed to activate and then return. It wasn’t built to store like we are currently doing.

Here’s a primal example.

Have you ever watched a nature show where wolves chase a deer? If the deer escapes, what happens next?

It shakes. A full body. Trembling. Release.

That shaking is the deer completing the stress cycle and returning to baseline. If it didn’t, it would stay braced. Hyper-alert. Afraid of its own forest.

But because it discharges, it goes back to grazing.

Humans are not so different.

Yet in Western society, many of us override that impulse. Not just us it’s been going on for generations now but it’s time we find this inner impulse back.

We even say it proudly:
“I just bottle everything up.”

Bottling everything up does not create balance.
It blocks aliveness, pleasure, depth, even joy.

Containing vs. Completing

Let’s be clear.

If I responded to a chaotic emergency call as a paramedic, I wouldn’t start shaking like a deer on scene. That wouldn’t serve the moment.

But maybe I would:
Take deep regulating breaths.
Sigh while grabbing equipment (alone).
Contain the activation and release later.

Same if you’re giving a presentation.

Yes, breathe. Stay present. Stay focused.

Contain it consciously.

But the important part is to come back to it. When back, allow it to release and complete the cycle.

Your body can release in many ways:

• Shaking
• Deep breathing
• Crying
• Screaming
• Muscle tremors
• Heat flashes
• Pulsing
• Movement
• Sometimes dancing.
• Sometimes walking.
• Sometimes lifting weights.
• Sometimes sitting alone and letting tears fall.

Your body is wise. It knows how to discharge… if you consciously allow it.

If you’re at work and feel activation rise, you have options:
Wait until you’re home.
Take lunch alone.
Step into a private room.
Use the bathroom if you need to.

When I say “contain,” I truly mean it.

Imagine placing the stressor into a container. A box. A vault.

Then when it’s safe, open it.

To open that container, hold yourself in safety. In compassion. In love. In grounded presence.

If you can’t feel your body yet… that’s okay.

Disconnection often happens when stress has accumulated for months, years, or decades.

In that case, you start slower. You build safety first. And ideally, you don’t do it alone. A therapist. A coach. Someone trained and that you feel comfortable with. If alone is the path, move slow and listen to yourself… don’t push beyond your boundary but also allow discomfort as sometimes that is the part of release.

Why Should We Even Bother?

This isn’t abstract theory.

This is physiology.

When you consistently discharge stress instead of storing it, your baseline shifts.

You recover faster.
You become less reactive.
You sleep better.
You show up clearer.
You don’t carry yesterday into tomorrow.

Chronic, unfinished stress keeps the nervous system braced. And a braced body cannot fully access creativity, connection, or pleasure.

Maybe that leg bouncing under the desk isn’t bad focus but maybe it’s a nervous system trying to complete something.

Maybe your exhaustion isn’t a weakness but maybe it’s unfinished stress.

When was the last time you let your body finish what it started?

Not numbed.
Not distracted.
Not bottled.

Finished.

I want to leave saying listen to your body, release, and truly allow yourself to move through your stress cycles.

I stopped saying I didn’t have time.

Instead, I say:
I prioritized my time differently.

And that small shift changed the way I spend my time or at the very least, it keeps me accountable to where my time actually goes.

This sentence keeps me clear in my awareness and self reflection.

I made this change a few years back. I honestly don’t know where I first heard it… maybe scrolling on social media, reading an article, or somewhere else entirely. But the moment I did, it made complete sense.

From that day on, I started using this phrase every time I wanted to say I didn’t have time.
Yes, for the first few months I had to correct myself. And even now, I still catch myself sometimes saying I didn’t have time (and yes sometimes it’s true ex: a busy day at work but it still comes down to time prioritization).

It’s one of those habits that stuck and one I genuinely love.

I’m someone who’s been known to procrastinate sometimes. To sit with fear instead of walking through it. And sometimes not often, but still… to get caught in mindless scrolling or movies.

Even though I’m actively working with these parts of myself (parts I once defined as my “natural self”), they still show up from time to time.

And trust me if someone asks, “Did you have time to finish that article?” and I say, “No, I didn’t have time,” the conversation usually ends there.

But if I say, “No, I prioritized my time differently,” it does one of two things:

1. It opens the door for a follow-up question: How did you use your time?
2. Or it immediately makes me reflect on how I spent my time.

If I used my time in ways that felt aligned or productive, my heart is content with that.

But on the days I mindlessly scrolled, procrastinated, or avoided doing the work it’s harder to look at it and realize that I chose that.

And yet, just using this phrasing creates space for reflection. I much prefer being aware and growing rather than living in patterns that aren’t good for me (that I might not even notice without this reflection time).

Awareness, over time, leads to different actions chosen consciously instead of by default.

This isn’t a reframe that will instantly change your life.
But I do believe it deeply matters.

Because the one thing life guarantees is that one day, we will run out of time.

As much as I’d love to learn how to pause, rewind, or bend time, that’s not happening. So a reframe that keeps you aware of how you use your time is incredibly important.

For me, it helped me work with my procrastination habits, shift how I use my time, and change how I move through my days.

What if you didn’t just reframe “I didn’t have time”…
but also asked yourself this question every night:

Am I happy with how I spent my time today?

How did I prioritize my time today?

We live in a world of constant dopamine hits.
A world that never sleeps.
Consumption never ends.

You will never run out of new content to scroll through.
There will always be more to do, more people to compare yourself to, more options.

And yet, this same world can trap us in endless consuming, thinking, analyzing, and layering instead of actually doing.

Let me use a personal example.

I want to commit to writing four pieces a week three here, and one on my Substack (for now). I was consistent for a while… and then I stopped for a few weeks.

When I look back at the days I meant to write but didn’t, one in particular could have looked like this:

I woke up.
Worked with kids for five hours.
Had a one hour business Zoom call.
Spent an hour on social media (not creating but consuming).
Thought about writing…
Got distracted by apps, notifications, messages.
Relaxed a bit.
Went for a drive.
Then I went to my one hour dance class.

The story continues.

I could say, “I didn’t have time.”
Or I could say, “I prioritized my time differently.”

And when I say the second one, it forces me to look back at my day and ask:

Am I happy with how I spent my time?

Sometimes the answer is yes.
Maybe I had a heavy week. Maybe I was sick. Maybe rest was needed.

Those are real and honest reasons not excuses.

But sometimes, the awareness shows me something else:
I didn’t spend my time in the way I actually wanted to. In a way that truly felt aligned to my energy and desires.

Over time, you start noticing patterns where you lose time, where you spend it unconsciously, and where your attention goes.

And the more you say “I prioritized my time differently,” the more you begin to value your time and intentionally prioritize it in ways that feel good.

Yes, rest matters. Free time matters. I do value these!

But in a society this distracted, it’s equally important to notice where we place our attention. Because we can easily lose ourselves in the distractions.

It’s so easy to think we have all this time until next thing you know you are in your mid 20s then 40s and then 60s. Life does move fast and our time matters.

Whether you’re self-employed where this directly impacts your life and business or working a 9 to 5 and becoming aware of how you spend your evenings… this matters.

So many people say they don’t have time to go to the gym.
To see friends.
To try a new hobby.
To take a dance class.

And often, it’s not about time at all.

It’s about priorities. Priorities we sometimes forget to set and think about.

So what happens if you start seeing your days through that lens?

How do you decide to prioritize your time?

Would you change the way you spend your time if you had full awareness on it?

We live in a world that celebrates go go go culture.
The endless to-do list.
The big promotion.
The constant chase for the next win.

Very few people actually surrender into pleasure and celebration after what they’ve achieved. And with that… comes more burnout.

Burnout is everywhere.
And burnout doesn’t always mean you’re unable to function.

Sometimes it simply means you don’t enjoy life as much anymore.

Here are 12 signs you might be more burnt out than you think.

The activities you once loved aren’t as exciting
It’s like the sparkle you once had just isn’t there. Yes, we can grow out of things… but when it happens suddenly and life starts to feel heavy, it’s worth asking:
Is it really the activity… or is life asking me to slow down because everything feels like too much right now?

You take less time with yourself
Time with yourself isn’t scrolling or watching shows.
I mean truly sitting with yourself. Listening to your inner world. Moving your body. Deepening your self-care. Actually taking time to feel you.

The relationships around you are changing
We often externalize burnout. We avoid. We cling. We stop listening. We push people away because we’re already carrying too much internally.

Life feels heavier
This one’s obvious but important.
Showers don’t feel as good. Walking takes more effort. Conversations feel intense. Life feels like it’s moving too fast around you. What once felt easy suddenly requires so much energy.

You feel more tense
Your shoulders are tight.
Your jaw is clenched.
Your body doesn’t feel free.

Muscles hold stored energy. When it doesn’t move, tension builds and eventually, it speaks.

You feel stuck in a loop
Wake up. Work. Eat. Scroll. Repeat.
Sure, there might be the occasional night out or creative burst but mostly it feels like you’re living a story you didn’t choose… or one you forgot how to enjoy.

You feel numb to life
Not in a peaceful, “everything is as it is” way but in a nothing really matters because I can’t feel it way.

You forget what your partner’s touch feels like.
You forget the sensation of your own skin.
You eat without tasting.
You do things just to get them done.

Pleasure stops feeling like an option.

You feel endless emotions
Sometimes burnout looks like the opposite of numbness.
Your nervous system has reached capacity, and everything starts spilling out.

Anger. Grief. Sadness. Stress. Disgust…
It can show up in so many ways depending on what you’ve been holding down.

You don’t respond to change as easily
Change requires nervous system capacity.
If you’re burnt out and disconnected from yourself, that capacity simply may not be there.

Change needs space, safety, and regulation and those aren’t always available when you’re already depleted.

You notice your behavior changing
You react differently.
You stop showing up to things you once loved.
You feel unlike yourself around people you care about.

The version of you who was more resourced just doesn’t have the space to fully show up.

Your sex drive changes
Sexual health requires presence, embodiment, and connection.
When life gets too heavy, it becomes harder to stay open with yourself or with a partner.

Changes in desire can be a powerful signal that your system needs care.

Your body gives you signs
This can show up subtly like losing touch with your inner yes and no.
Or more physically: hormonal shifts, pain, digestive issues, fatigue, or larger diagnoses.

Your body always speaks.
The question is whether we listen.

Burnout doesn’t start when everything collapses.
It starts much earlier.

With stress stored in the body.
With nervous system dysregulation.
With unhealed patterns.
With constantly overriding your inner yes and no.
With weak boundaries.
With saying yes out of fear or people-pleasing.

Most of us know the moment we said yes when our body wanted to say no.
That’s often where burnout begins.

If you’re reading this and recognize yourself you’re not alone. Truly. I’ve lived this journey of burnout. On my healing journey, in the early beginning of my paramedic career, and while trying to find myself.
Almost all of us have lived some version of burnout while trying to understand ourselves in this human experience.

Here are a few ways to gently walk yourself back.

4 Ways to Walk Toward the Other Side of Burnout

Come back to the present moment
The present moment is the only place we are actually alive.
If the moment feels overwhelming, pause and ask: Am I safe right now?
If yes, ground yourself and move forward slowly.
If no, take action to find safety first then reconnect with your body.

Feel your skin & feel your breath
Sensations and breath are powerful anchors.
Touch your skin. Feel what’s there. Notice the emotions that arise.

Breath is incredibly potent for regulation, healing, and connection.
Try a slow inhale and an even longer exhale to signal safety to your nervous system.

Listen to your yes and no
Your body is wise. If you let it speak, you’ll hear it.

Over time, you’ll learn the difference between a no from fear and a no from misalignment.
And when your body says yes even if it’s scary, trust it.

(Example: I’m stepping into a new business opportunity right now. My body has said yes for months… even though fear still whispers no. That fear isn’t my body’s wisdom.)

Move your body
There’s a reason somatic release is gaining so much attention, it works.

You don’t need a perfect container. Yes, there are powerful set containers that I love but your inner wisdom is one. Your body is already the teacher.
Shake. Dance. Roll your hips. Move your jaw. Be weird.
Let your body unwind the way it knows how.

It may feel stiff or uncomfortable at first. Stay with it.
Movement releases what words can’t.

To end this… trust your body. Sometimes we need to let it lead us.

If you ignore the signs of burnout, they don’t disappear.
They get louder. And more creative.

Burnout doesn’t mean you hate your life.
It means your body, energy, and soul are asking for more care.

This article is for educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or therapeutic care. If you’re experiencing severe distress, ongoing symptoms, or feel you need personalized support, please reach out to a licensed healthcare professional, therapist, or qualified coach.

And she asked me this question:

“If there were no ‘right’ choice, and it would ALL work out so beautifully for you, what would be your next step?”

My simple, quick answer was this (copy pasted):

“Uhmm yumm 💦 I absolutely love that question.

I would sell 2-week 1:1 coaching packages, create in person experiences for corporate women in different sectors (paid by the company), make a somatic release session for first responders (again paid by service), start my 8 week group program for untamed women, and have an online community for connection and readers for my blog 🫠❤️‍🔥”

And then it hit me.

I knew

I intuitively knew exactly what I would go for during this chapter, while living in this city. And now I sit here wondering… why am I not doing it?

Yes, I know this isn’t my future vision. I already know my desires and dreams are bigger than this. But this is a needed stepping stone.

This vision?
This is the right now vision. It’s the current reality I want to be living.

This is how I would want my current reality to feel. So why am I not working toward it?

I didn’t have to think about it. I knew exactly what I would currently want to do. So why am I not taking steps forward? Why am I accepting and sometimes sinking into… a reality that isn’t true to me?

It baffles me that I can see a vision so clearly when prompted, but when it comes down to action, I’m not moving toward it.

It’s like waiting has become part of my identity.

Sometimes it feels like clarity can be more threatening than confusion. With clarity, you simply need to take a step forward. But those first steps can feel heavy. They can challenge beliefs. They can challenge nervous system programming.

Sometimes we stall not because we don’t know what to do, but because doing it would make our current life impossible to justify.

Because you know that if you go for it, your current reality might cease to exist. And that jump is scary.

What do you mean in 6 months my reality could be completely different?

But at the same time… everything could also be exactly the same in 6 months if I don’t go for it.

So we have to ask ourselves:

Am I more scared to go for it, or to wake up 6 months from now knowing I didn’t move forward?

Time you will never get back.
But you do get to decide how you prioritize it.

Sometimes the most confronting thing isn’t not knowing what we want… it’s realizing we already know, and choosing not to move anyway.

So I stand here in amazement. Not with a step-by-step “moving forward” guide, but with raw reflection. A mirror that reminds us our inner self usually knows what’s next, even if we close our eyes and pretend not to hear it.

And sharing that it’s normal to hold ourselves back. For the most part, it’s how parts of us are programmed.

But you have the ability to reprogram. To make different decisions. To walk through the fire.

This year will bring lots of changes, and I’m ready.

I do want to leave you with a few journaling prompts.

First, the same question my old mentor gave me:

“If there were no ‘right’ choice, and it would ALL work out so beautifully for you, what would be your next step?”

And:

What’s the best case scenario?
What’s the worst case scenario? (You are not manifesting it… you are simply bringing awareness and love to what you are already thinking.)
What first step can you take today?
Why are you holding back?
What sensations do you feel in your body when you think about your next step?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. 2026 will be a year of fire, and I’m excited to share more magic, tips, thoughts, my journey, and many different things throughout the year.

So now I step forward into my current next chapter. Thankful for a simple question that allows me to go deep and see my truth. I’m grateful that I took this as an opportunity not just to see but to start taking action.

What step forward are you ready to take?