You don’t have to become a louder version of yourself to be seen. You can move forward by becoming more involved, more trusted, and more willing to contribute.

Some people don’t arrive in a room ready to take the microphone.

They sit at the back and watch, listen. They take it all in before they decide whether this is a place where they can belong.

I’d like to share how this has worked for me, and how you can apply it if you feel the time is now to step up and be seen.

When I first attended the You Are The Media Lunch Clubs, I was the MD of a local web company that started in 2000. By then, the business was already 15 years old, yet I sat at the back of the room feeling all the feelings of imposter syndrome.

I was there to learn the topics of marketing, content creation, social media, content marketing and everything connected to it.

I was dreading being asked anything in case I got caught out with people wondering why I don’t already know this if my business is 15+ years old. I thought everybody else would be at the top of their game, seasoned professionals.

There were people I had viewed from afar and thought, “They’re doing well. Why can’t I be more like that?” Those same people were then very open with me once I had the time to have real conversations with them, and I thank them for that.

I don’t do well at more formal events and settings. Business cards pushed into the middle of the table and a round-robin pitch? No thank you. Also, don’t ever hand me your business card and ask when my company insurance is up for renewal.

It was in the second year of Lunch Clubs that I was given a certificate at the Christmas event. It was a playful gesture, but it made me feel recognised and seen as very much part of the community and the events.

Sometimes I still sit back, but now it can be a conscious decision whether I’m not feeling it as the business is making some hard decision internally that affect people, or that I want to get myself sorted as I have a task to capture some photos and videos.

I think it’s important for people to be seen and recognised. It might just be for the fact that they are regulars. Or they might have some successes that deserve to be shared.

This is why the Hall of Fame event I am hosting is important to me. Sharing the spotlight and recognition helps us all. It brings some people to the front for the first time, and it allows us to rekindle connections with those that we haven’t seen for a while.

If you want to go from the back of the room to the front, whether for personal development or to build your confidence, you need to find the right environment or group for you. Turn up consistently and make contributions along the way. Interact with the content shared but do all this at your own pace that you feel comfortable.

The more you do something, the better you will get. Find that group where you can see others get recognised for their efforts.

The person at the back of the room might not be hiding. They might just be waiting for the right space to show them they belong at the front.

Flip The Back To The Front was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

People think events are built on speakers, venues and agendas, but what actually makes them work is everything you don’t see being shaped around them.

My Hall Of Fame event is part of the Creator Day extra events and let me share what is happening.

Sometimes we go to events to be educated, to be inspired, to break through barriers. Other times you want to be there, to be around others, and choose who we spend time with.

A great event can deliver on all this and make you feel an important centre to it all. That is my aim for Hall Of Fame, to shine a spotlight on the audience as well as the speakers.

I want it to feel relatable, whether they are just starting out or are 20 years down the line. This makes connections easier. Being pitched to by the speaker, or a CEO of a global business telling you how to run networks of teams across the world won’t be relatable.

By the end of the event, my hope is simple. That anyone can reach out and connect with someone else, which could be to ask for help, or to offer it.

The broad range of speakers and the experiences that they will share will support the need to connect. Dorset is full of people who are doing meaningful work, many of whom have quietly got on with things. I want you all to step forward and be seen.

There are challenges ahead for Dorset, in terms of demographics, workforce and housing. Together, we need to show the rest of the country that this place is a great place to live, work and run a business.

As the event host, I’ve been intentional about who is part of this. I hope what I have curated will bring people from all sectors and stages and view this as an opportunity to be seen and to connect. Everyone deserves to be celebrated.

The real work of an event isn’t what happens when you’re there, in the day. It’s the care put into how it flows, connects and leaves people feeling part of something from beginning to end.

I hope you can join in on Monday 11th May at Bournemouth University.

2026 Creator Day - Hall of Fame event

What You Don’t See Is What Makes An Event Work was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Identity becomes believable when it’s anchored to a place people can point to.

A lot of people try to build identity in the abstract, it could be an industry, a niche, a category you can’t touch. The shortcut is place, a real patch of ground you can repeatedly show up for, improve, and invite people into.

This is how I did it:

• You name the place (mine was Southbourne)

• You keep turning up (I registered URLs that referred to Southbourne)

• You create repeatable moments

• You let other people step in and add to it

What I have found is that associating yourself with a place and trying to make a noise is that it is inversely proportional to the size of the place.

When I talk about Southbourne, there’s a close affinity, especially with people who live there. When I talk about BCP, the connection is still there, but it’s mostly built through familiarity over time, the usual faces, the usual rooms, the same events that keep bringing people back together.

When it becomes Dorset, it starts to thin out. Not because Dorset doesn’t matter, but because I haven’t put the same years into it. The message becomes broader, the events become more general, and the identity isn’t as “felt”.

If I try to show up as a voice of The South West, it can feel like being a small fish in an ocean. You can still contribute, of course, but the sense of “this is ours” becomes harder to create unless you go deep.

The moments that really worked for me weren’t the ones that behaved like campaigns. They were the ones that brought people together.

The “walk and talk” gatherings created genuine friendships. They helped introduce new residents to other people. Those that were new people would come out again to help meet others at future events.

Momentum followed. People have benefitted from the sharing and the care, and then they began doing the same. They added to the voice, and in doing that, they added to the validity.

It became noticeable that businesses even started to use the nickname nickname SoBo in their names: SoBo Fish, Sobo Sommelier, Sobo Living, Sobo Nobab (the curry restaurant), and SO•BOHO.

They must have felt safe and a strong enough connection to commit to such a name. I think that’s pretty unique to the area as I can’t think of anywhere else where the community and businesses have congregated around a nickname.

To visitors, that must signal pride and for people arriving for the first time, I hope it gives them something worth stepping into.

The internet is crowded with claims. A place is proof. And proof is what people back.

Give People A Place To Point To was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

There’s always a Courage Tax on doing something in public and events charge it early.

By this I mean, awkwardness, judgement, uncertainty, chasing people, fearing empty seats.

Imagine having the speakers lined up, the venue booked, refreshments ready and when the doors open, there’s barely a trickle of people taking their seats. This could feel like a disaster, for the organiser, for the speakers who came to share what they know, and for an audience that can end up feeling oversold to and even alone.

Everything else could be 100% at its best, but if no one turns up, do you even have an event? In the run-up, if I’ve put the right amount of time and energy into it, I get to picture it going well, instead of rehearsing everything that could go wrong.

I’ve had speakers not working. I’ve fumbled clunky laptop swaps. Sometimes you can’t control everything. My biggest fear is not me looking bad, I’m old enough now to know it’s rarely the issue we make it out to be, it’s letting down the other people involved.

I want the audience to leave feeling full, they enjoyed it, learned a few things, and made new connections. I want the speakers to feel fulfilled too, to land their story, get energy back from the room, and take learnings they can use to improve next time.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to put the effort in well before you want people to show up. Curating the theme and choosing speakers who can bring it to life, is the work. When people can see that effort, it encourages them to show up. A final lesson is to enjoy it. Why do something that feels like a drudgery?

For the event I’m hosting as part of You Are The Media Creator Week, on Monday 11th May, it’s about bringing local business people together to celebrate each other’s journey.

From those just starting out to those who’ve been at it for decades. We don’t celebrate each other enough, and we probably don’t know enough about the people who’ve been quietly succeeding all around us.

You don’t need certainty to host a room. You just need a reason, a structure, and the willingness to give it a go.

I hope you can join in with the event at Bournemouth University, when it’s up to book, in March. It’s going to be free to everyone and I’ll share the speaker.

The Courage Tax was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

It is important to be recognised, welcomed, and held in spaces where you don’t have to perform, explain, or prove your worth.

It’s good to feel surrounded by people who are on your side.

By investing in yourself, taking part in local events, supporting others, and making time to connect, it builds confidence for walking into a new room. Chances are you’ll know someone, or someone will at least know of you.

Or you might turn up somewhere and know no one. But if you remember you once started from zero in the places that now feel familiar, it takes the edge off. It becomes less daunting.

Even in a brand new situation, you just need to put the effort in for what you want from the event. You’ve likely paid for a ticket, and spent time and money travelling, so give yourself permission to just be present: take notes, take photos, enjoy it, without the pressure to “build your network” yet.

When you share something afterwards and tag people, the next visit becomes easier. It opens the door slightly for people to recognise you. I’ve done this before and it’s helped me build connections slowly. The effort does get noticed.

Having experienced the nervousness or slightly feeling of being overwhelmed by an event, it’s a good thing to be able to see that in others and offer a hello or invite them to join your conversation. We can be the leveller for others. Again, this can help build relationships if not just recognition.

Being part of a good community means someone else has your back and in return you know you want to be there for others. It offers protection against loneliness, especially if you don’t work in a team.

This year, I’m dropping a few regular events to free up time and money to attend new ones, RSA events, anything involving Rory Sutherland, and more health-focused gatherings. I want to seek out the people I want to learn from, open new paths of discovery. I want to bank the enjoyment of those as memories and motivation.

Whilst I’m not a social butterfly, I’m not in the networking desert either. I realised the work I’d put in was paying off when I did my talk at the December 2019 You Are The Media Lunch Club. Bookings were normally around 50 to 60 people, but this one went up to 120. In that moment, I could no longer feel alone or isolated again.

The opposite of being alone isn’t being surrounded. It’s being known by the right people.

Never Alone was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I’m leading the Hall of Fame event for Creator Week ’26 and exploring whether ParkLife Live could be viable too.

I’m not a natural event organiser. Events can be fraught with risk, costs, speaker coordination, and the fear of no one showing up. What I do enjoy is giving a platform to people that are experts in their fields and have experiences worth sharing.

For me, the joy lies in the curation, finding the theme, shaping the narrative, and seeing how the whole thing fits together. It also leans heavily on the relationships I’ve nurtured, and the ones I can build by sharing my previous work.

Recently I have been thinking about my Park Life on Tour project and the people that I interviewed and the sites that I visited. It dawned on me that it’s already a fully formed foundation for a live event. The theme exists, the people and relationships have already been made, and I have a venue in mind. If I am lucky with the speakers and their availability, it may not be difficult to pull together.

The only question and it’s the big one, will anyone want to come?

We all hope what we do is interesting and of value to others. Should it happen, what I envisage in hosting this Park Life Live event, especially at the Defence BattleLab on the Dorset Innovation Park, is a learning opportunity around what innovation means, how innovation centres and parks work, around the elements of Digital, Data and Defence.

Having invested my own time and travel costs, I think this would a great return on investment for the wider communities that I am a part of. Shining a spotlight on others is a rewarding and motivational thing for me.

There’s also a strategic layer to this. The Dorset Innovation Park is undergoing investment by the council in its further growth and development. What better time to bring in success stories from elsewhere? It benefits tenants, the region’s economic picture, and strengthens the innovation ecosystem.

When asking people to speak or be interviewed, I’ve learned to be succinct and clear that the platform is for them, not for me. It helps to share examples and demonstrate credibility without making it self-serving.

A crucial part to get right is the balance of speakers and topics. A theme where everyone complements rather than competes against each other, with maybe some overlap so it can have a well-connected flow. When that happens, speakers feel safe, valued, and respected.

I’m still deciding whether to move ahead, but it feels like the right time. Turning my blog into a physical event would be a very exciting challenge. One that connects many dots and relationships.

When people feel heard, they contribute. Whether it’s ParkLife Live, the Hall of Fame, or the next idea still forming, the real legacy won’t be the events themselves, it will be the confidence, connections, and new possibilities that happened because someone finally had a place to speak.

Creating The Spaces For Others To Be Heard was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

These “third spaces” are where connection happens naturally. I have long understood their importance by living it, not just talking about it.

My own third spaces are both physical locations and groups where I feel comfortable. They provide me with time away from work and from home. I may choose to use that time productively, to be very engaging, or it might be that I just want to be quiet but in the company of others that I enjoy. That balance is under my control.

It could be said that we should avoid being in our bubbles or echo chambers, but when it comes to news, opinions and educating ourselves I would agree. However, when it comes to a third space, somewhere we can take time for ourselves, why wouldn’t you want a bubble that is fun and with every chance of bumping into friends or making new ones with like-minded people?

For me, those places are the hospitality venues on my Southbourne high street and the You Are The Media events, wherever they’re held.

Remember the days of business owners proudly sharing screenshots of company meetings on Zoom and proclaiming they no longer needed an office and proved everyone can work from home. They only ever saw the faces of staff but did not look behind the person, to see where they were physically. Not everyone has a study, garden or detached house to give them a third space where work and home might even merge into one.

Without third spaces, work and life collapse into the same four walls.

It does require effort and a probably a cost to get to a third space to get to. But that effort is an investment in yourself, and a shared investment in the places that help a community thrive.

It’s important to share what’s happening in the third spaces, to help it be sustainable, to give your own first-hand perspective on it as an opportunity for others to see. It’s better than a stream of Canva generated content.

I’ve seen a shift in our high street over recent years. Yes, more bars and restaurants that have opened, but the big change has been music which has moved the third spaces beyond food and drink. There are live gigs, DJs, 80s and soul nights, and bring your own vinyl events. Businesses became more creative with the use of their premises, and the customers followed suit.

If you want to strengthen your connection to where you live, choose a few places you believe in and give them your wholehearted support. Be a loyal customer. Be an advocate.

I have been thinking a lot about third spaces lately and will get my thoughts down in a document that I will title “CO4 — Convivial Corners for Conversation and Collaboration. A national need for investment in multi-purpose community spaces for multi-generational learning and cohesion.”

My thoughts began by wondering how we could make our area a blue zone of longevity in living. The focus on living longer and living healthier meant I forgot about being inclusive. I don’t think young adults get the attention or recognition they deserve and I fell foul of it myself where my words didn’t match my actions.

Some people say society is broken and that Britain is broken. Nothing gets fixed by complaining or deepening division. Re-centering community, rather than politics, is one way forward. It’s certainly something I can support and invest in.

Imagine a place with a corner for podcasting. Local businesses and budding content entrepreneurs could learn the skills, but it could also be used by families so that grand children can ask the grandparents all about their lives and what the parents were like. A moment to be capture rather than an opportunity missed.

A space where people can chat over 20p instant coffees, or learn barista skills on a donated espresso machine. Bring on the music, engage singer songwriters for the different generations, music nights for people to play their mp3s, 45s or even 78s.

Let the experienced gamers share playing tips with young novices. Let their parents meet, who themselves can share their experience of children who might play a lot of computer games, but also to see the future opportunities by sharing what Bournemouth and Poole College do around their courses e-sports.

When you create enough strands, serendipity becomes possible. Collaborating with other centres nationally, could bring new learning to the area, but also give our community champions a boost by letting them share their knowledge and experiences nationally.

This approach should exist everywhere. Not as a political plaster for areas in need, but as a framework for genuine social cohesion.

With my business hat on, I would be knocking on the doors of larger businesses and tapping into their need to provide Social Value if they want to win government contracts, and their desires to connect more with the community.

When we talk about growth, we usually think about jobs, housing and infrastructure. But the true foundation of a thriving place lies in its third spaces, the ones that quietly welcome people in, help them stay, and make them feel they belong.

Why Place Still Matters was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

On my ParkLife tour around the UK, visiting innovation and tech clusters, I see a consistent intention and will everywhere.

Councils are stepping forward, local businesses supporting and sharing, organisations sign posting help and funding, and skills bodies recognising are recognising and addressing local needs.

There is a cohesiveness to it, strategic reports, actual regeneration projects at times, and modern facilities reflect a shared ambition.

There is a commonality to it. Everybody wants the same. Regional growth and prosperity, inward investment, jobs creation, improving skills to support new and existing businesses.

Yet there’s a distinction between the strategic and the tactical. For many businesses the economic conditions are really tough right now and the goal is survival. They need funding and support, yes, but also moral support and a shared sense of identity.

I learned from my recent visit to a Somerset Council event that the county has three purpose-built innovation centres: Firepool Centre for Digital Innovation; iAero innovation centre for the aerospace industry; and the Somerset Energy Innovation Centre. These investments show the council’s commitment to both the present and future.

Returning home to Dorset, I feel our unique challenge lies in cohesiveness and the ever-present issue of ‘twin-hatting’ when engaging others about the county.

If we take Bournemouth (by which I also mean Christchurch and Poole), I do believe we have shifted away from wanting to be part of the “B Club”. The question of why can’t we be more like Bristol or Brighton. We can learn from other places, but we need to act in a way that fits our context.

We can certainly learn from other places, pay attention on what’s happening around us, but deliver to our context. What those deliveries should be is another question. What Dorset needs is something tangible and visible.

Something that outsiders can recognise as the Dorset centre of excellence for a sector or industry. We already have examples: the Defence Battlelab, AUB’s Innovation Studio, and a thriving ecosystem of universities and workspaces, but we need more visible markers of ambition.

One common theme I hear is that the world is less London centric, local businesses are serving London clients, and they have been successfully doing so for a long time. Dorset’s pitch isn’t just to attract businesses — it’s to attract the workforce with the skills we need, people who are drawn to the lifestyle our region offers.

Hosting industry events and conferences can help. They bring people to the region, creating a captive audience, and position Dorset as a place known for both sector expertise and quality of life.

If the South West is to thrive, it won’t be through isolated counties chasing the same solutions alone. The real opportunity lies in recognising shared challenges as part of a regional DNA — and asking how Dorset positions itself within that story.

The Regional DNA of Growth was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

There’s another side to the Dorset story. It’s not just an ageing population, it’s about whether young people see a future here.

In my last article, I highlighted the challenge of Dorset’s ageing population.

Retention is just as critical as attraction. If we can’t hold onto the next generation, the region’s long-term future is at risk.

I chose to explore this topic because while the headlines are often negative, we risk losing sight of the long view.

More people are reaching retirement age, fertility rates are falling (just 1.4 in England and Wales in 2023, well below the replacement rate of 2.1), and Dorset can’t afford to see its young people drift away. If they do, tackling economic and workforce challenges becomes like building on shifting sand.

Rather than my perspective, I wanted to discover how young adults (people starting their careers and under 25) are looking at their future.

1) Would you stay or go?

If you had the choice, would you see yourself building your future in Dorset, or do you feel pulled elsewhere? Why?

2) What opportunities do you see (or don’t see)?

When you look at Dorset, what stands out as an opportunity for young adults, and where do you feel it falls short?

3) Looking ahead

When you imagine Dorset 10 or 20 years from now, what do you hope it will look like for someone your age?

Here is what they shared.

Ben Franklin said that he would stay, pointing to good transport links and the flexibility of remote work. The natural environment of Dorset is a big plus for work life balance, although the night life has challenges to meet everyone’s needs. Ben hopes Dorset can become the hub for education, based around more personal interaction in the knowledge growth opportunities for young adults.

Isabelle Kearnan feels there are many good opportunities but tend to be hidden. She does feel that the big brands, that she would love to work for are in the big cities and would necessitate a move. Living costs do make an impact on whether she can take the opportunities that are available. Dorset is home for Isabell, but she feels it needs to change and become safer for young people to flourish.

Freya Broom would definitely like to stay in Dorset as the seaside enables her love of water sports, but knows that it can also be healthy to move away for personal growth. Job opportunities can be limited for the young, especially in the winter months. There are many interesting events going on but the lack of third spaces (places outside of work and home) can be limiting as well as public transport. Freya hopes that the region can find some sort of niche where it excels compared to the rest of the country.

Grace Barton sees that the area in terms of marketing roles is strong, but being young the vibrancy and excitement of London is a draw. Many of Grace’s peers are considering leaving because of limited opportunities, weak transport links, expensive nightlife and a lack of social and cultural activities. Dorset, she feels, needs to serve young people far better.

The voices I’ve shared make it clear: Dorset is loved, but love alone won’t keep young people rooted.

Opportunity, affordability, and a vision for the future matter just as much as lifestyle. If Dorset wants to thrive, it has to become a place where ambition grows alongside community.

By listening to younger voices now, we don’t just retain talent, we build the foundations of a region ready to meet the future with confidence.

How Young Adults Look At The Future was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I have never been a brash person, I choose to quietly lead. Over the past year or so, I’ve noticed a change.

Quiet leadership creates space for other people to step up, and at the same time builds trust through consistency. More importantly, it can achieve lasting impact without seeking recognition.

I now know it’s not about being silent. Over time I am slowly finding my voice and also understanding how to use it. Compliments, feedback, and seeing how your actions affect others help bring you forward. I’ve done my time at the back, now I choose when to step in.

That’s the key, it’s about choice.

I choose what I want to get involved in, to put energy into and to be vocal about. Don’t overthink it. Imposter syndrome will hold you back and try not to worry about what others think.

Sometimes staying behind the scenes is the right thing to do.

The TV and Radio media at Pokesdown Station

During COVID, I helped reignite a long-running campaign to install lifts at a local train station. A local musician wrote a song inspired by the effort, I overlayed some video I took from the train station and uploaded. Suddenly, the press, radio, and TV were interested. I stayed off-camera. The spotlight was on the campaigners who had already done so much work.

Quiet leadership represents putting other people at the front.

If you want to make a difference in the areas you believe in, but you’re not naturally comfortable being seen, my advice is, write and share. Then, find a few people who share your ideals and explore how you can support things locally. Over time, this builds into a strong, visible viewpoint, both personally and professionally.

Where I live in Southbourne, it was once viewed as a sleepy part of Bournemouth, but spearheaded by residents and business owners, its profile has shot up. I like to think I have played a role in this development over the years.

Quiet leadership isn’t about staying silent, it’s about knowing when to speak, when to act, and when to create the conditions for others to lead. For me, it’s never been about the headlines, but the ripple effects that come from the effort.

The quiet path might not get immediate applause but over time, it lays down deep roots and creates real, lasting change.

Progressing Quiet Leadership was originally published in X-Net since 1999 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.