It’s Tuesday. The day I’m exhausted by work already and dread thinking about how I’ll reach the pinnacles of Friday. All for the two-day gasp of air we dive into like we’re dehydrated from freedom. With how hard we celebrate the weekend in our western working society, comes from how difficult the week truly seems to get.

Ultimately, I can dream about how I’d spend 38 hours of my week in other ways, but with what I cannot change right now — I can change my perspective and in hope lessen the feeling that work takes control or takes most of my creative waking time. A reminder is that the experience work gives us moulds and supports us greatly in ways more than just financially. Work acts like a way of life we don’t have much choice in but the job we do, we choose to be part of our lives. Living consciously is a mindful topic I adhere to — of what you bring into your life, but something that bypassed my attention during my overachieving work blur is working consciously.

Work burnout is an on-going journey, that seems to build up only to be identifiable when it’s too late. The symptoms are near unrecognisable from what we call our “busy” days of being stressed, tired, frustrated by others, meeting expectations and hitting urgent deadlines. It’s just work, right? Or so, what most of us continue to know as just a busy day, week or past few months and dangerously, the norm.

Definition:

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demand.

There are many definitions I’ve come across of burnout, these two sentences fundamentally sum it up. Though, everyday aspects of this can be:

• lack of support,
• anxiety / stomach pain,
• feeling undervalued,
• pushing yourself to work harder,
• feeling empty on accomplishment,
• hopelessness in seeing positive change,
• disengagement for things you used to care about,
• depression (which unleashes lack of motivation, isolation and withdrawal),
• forgetting to shower or eat,
• memory loss, (like unable to remember what you were saying / going to say)
• trouble sleeping or shutting off,
• feeling physically achy or heavy even though you haven’t moved much.

Burnout is a gradual long-term pain that stealthily goes unnoticed until the stirring lull becomes unbearable — knowing repetition is just around the corner again. The near worst confusing part is experiencing the items above unknowingly, or maybe partly recognising them but instead innocently continue with the same days either way. Which in time, appears a new meaning of exhaustion.

Bumping into my own experience of burnout, my relaxing hot baths, rolling positive affirmations to drown any misbeliefs, the desperate blow-off-steam runs during lunch or after work didn’t reset me anymore. They’d revive me at a minimum on a day-to-day basis, but I still felt like I was crawling on the dirt path — somewhat getting somewhere but just covered in s**t. The space I’d give myself at the weekend with calmness, gratefulness, friends, deep surfacing conversations and identifying my own emotions was a realisation rollercoaster, not knowing when the drops and turns would become resonating.

Identifying early signs of burnout is assumably like recognising your child has a runny nose and could lead to sickness, or noticing a friend is dating someone with toxic behaviour and they may get hurt, we naturally become over-protective for those we care for. So why forget to care for ourselves in the same way? Why do we feel the absolute need to push ourselves and “power through” for the days we struggle until it’s Fri-Yay?

Because…

… We believe in ourselves.

We believe it’s just another day.

We believe we can just get through.

We believe we need to work harder to achieve.

We believe reaching midweek is a great feeling.

We believe it’s time for a drink.

And, the stress embedded into our everyday lives, just simply becomes difficult to see when it secretly evolves into a deceptive burnout monster.

The inner force of belief we hold and use against ourselves is invisibly dangerous and the same time powerful. Sensing that, this strength can be elevated to turn burnout around or prevent it happening. Surely with some thoughtful tweaking, we can ensure what we’re powering through with, makes our mental health stay afloat.

Where we position our current can-do attitude can be displacing, so if it’s a matter of diverting this positive flow to an earlier point and identifying the signs of stress, we can play on safer land and continue to work effectively.

I used to proclaim work isn’t my life because I have so many other aspects of life to pay attention to. However, work is life because it’s not just work, it’s a large part of life and how we use our knowledge and motivation to grow. Our time ultimately makes up what life can be. With how work makes us feel, is how we allow our life to be.

Ignoring our needs occurs too easily, especially if you don’t know what to identify, or don’t realise the need for something, or even know what you need to find ways to get it. Our autopilot is one of our brilliant skills but if our daily is ignored and not conscious, we’re barely human anymore.

We do as humans need to let some things simply be. Agreeably, not everything in our externals can be controlled (like a pandemic lockdown). It’s almost too generic to write that ‘balance is important’ because we cannot measure what we need. To identify is more accurate.

Identifying our emotional outcomes from what’s coming in — helps us know how much we should be letting in to continue to cope. Understanding stress levels means we can at first be grateful it energises us — than the negative way it may panic us. We can be more creative with our time and task management. It’s the first awakening sign for change. If those stress levels start effecting personal life outside of work, surfaces disengagement for what you cared for before, numbed emotion or dread — there’s the signal that prolonged on-going stress has silently seeped into burnout territory or depression.

Sharing this experience pushes me to alert friends and colleagues to recognise consistent tiredness, shifts in mood over time, to encourage work breaks (a week or two may not even be enough) and to notice what’s happening inside yourself with your usual everyday life. It’s a journey only you can ride and smoothen out.

In order to be able to speed up, we must first slow down. 🙏

—

Resources:

Living Consciously: https://zenhabits.net/wake-up-a-guide-to-living-your-life-consciously/

10 Ways To Be Mindful At Work: https://www.mindful.org/10-ways-mindful-work/

Burnout treatment and prevention: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/burnout-prevention-and-recovery.htm

Affirmation Babe: https://affirmationbabe.com/

I spent my childhood and 20s growing up in West Yorkshire, England. With British citizen parents (as of 1986 and 1992) originally born in Hong Kong.

My Chinese parents migrated individually to England in the 70s, in ambition to gain a fruitful life for themselves and family. Before I persist, I’m super grateful for my known privileged upbringing in the UK. Opportunities granted good education and a life my parents didn’t experience growing up in small Hong Kong villages. I’ve been privileged enough to be called an “expat” when living in another country.

So here I am in Sydney Australia, on the other side of the globe, experiencing another angle of life. I discover something I never knew would have great effect.

It’s a usual working day in life, I’m sat in a work meeting. I glance around the table and I see that all 5 of us are of Chinese heritage. I feel something, it’s a slow process to reasonate what. It feels.. Different. Nice. Unified. Why? I silently observed my new experience as I sat there. In 7 years of working life, that has never happened before. Also, why?

Maybe you’re thinking, what’s the big deal?

Growing up in a small town in West Yorkshire, I was the only Chinese girl in my high school year. There was another Chinese boy in the year above. But majority of the school were White Caucasian. In workplaces, a small minority cluster of East/South Asian at the most. Most places I went in my hometown growing up, I was always the only Chinese person around (minus if I was with my family). Living unknowingly white as I could, I still somehow drew attention.

Being a female came that extra special attention from the male species as I got older into my 20s. The penis species who would think it’s okay to (at volume) expressively communicate to “love me long time” in the street or closely whisper in my ear whilst walking by *cringe*. Yup, cool mate. What should I do with that? Take me in your arms immediately.

I hold various snippets of racial experiences and memories growing up Chinese in the UK. Snippets that I recall very vividly today years and years on. In those years, I thought the hurdle was to build a thick enough skin to not get upset or effected anymore, because well this is England — they’re not used to seeing people like you. My skin is iron thick for hearing ‘fwied wice’ or ‘chink’ — those impersonal racial comments I’ve gotten down. Though, for my darling Chinese name and I, we’ve been through a bit more. More-so as an adult (believe or not) than as a kid or teenager in school.

Progressing towards my mid 20s, I’m online dating. Logged in, open to 5km of Pontefract, West Yorkshire — life excels. A place I didn’t expect my Chinese persona to effect looking for a match, but hey this is England — they’re not used to seeing people like you. I’m 25. “Is that really your actual name? Haha”. Purposeful matches to slur some fun racial name calling then a quick unmatch so I can’t reply — Smoooth. And there it is, a screenshot of my Tinder profile posted on Lad Bible with the caption “nice name” for those extra viral world wide web lolz — claps to dat maaan. Cyber bullying is one thing, whilst dating is second. Yup, cooool so er… That was England.

FYI. I have built thicker skin over time, but my tolerance as a 30 year old woman don’t accept these experiences today.

Introducing... Life in Sydney as a British Chinese human. Hey Sydney. 44% population of Chinese in one city. Hey. I love that. I don’t stick out like a sore thumb anymore. The White Australians know what dim sum is and like to yam cha. Amazing. No upfront shits on the floor when I tell someone my name (maybe some questions but that’s always been okay!). In the space of 2 years, I’ve only had “But, why the -E?” from a Malaysian Aussie man in his 60’s and a slightly old-school Chinese colleague—but I think that’s a pretty solid success of being accepted in society. Am I riiight?!

Not living as a minority absolutely changes my life, I cannot feel more racially integrated (in a Western society) than this I don’t think?! I feel more proud of my ethnicity than ever before, I get to bask in it! Along with my White friends too. I standby my upbringing and background of my parents, it’s very common here in Sydney with families who have migrated from Indonesia, China, Brazil, Taiwan, Italy, everywhere. I don’t have to defuse what I eat around people or explain where I’m really from 80% of conversations. It’s my top-of-the-list reason why I love living in Sydney, over the typical British answer of it being sunny all the time (that’s a tiny bit part of it). I can’t imagine going back to England for those past experiences above. The thing is, at the time I didn’t know I didn’t have to put up with them. Now, I get to know there’s a life experience where I don’t have to. My main wish is for my family to experience this life too. During my parents time growing in England, they had their fair share of racism, injustice and discrimination presented to them, oh England. However, I believe they lived a good life, slogging their guts working extremely hard for 30 years to give my sisters and I an absolutely amazing educated life that we’ve all utilitised well and differently. They retired in their 50s, resting and enjoying hobbies.

It’s a very rainy Spring Saturday afternoon here in Sydney, so it’s not all about the weather.

I’ve been working from home now for 7 days (5 days last week and 2 days the week before). I’ve always wanted to work remotely for a company but I didn’t quite imagine it to be like this. Luckily, my workplace activated their emergency response quite early on in what we should do if there was to be an outbreak. We did practice runs working from home per team, they triggered a test SMS out to everyone to ensure emergency communication was feasible and organised a company wide (300+ employees) work from home day in preparation for the office potentially closing. A day later, 9th March, it was announced the office would close until the end of the month. But not everyone’s workplace and industry has allowed this flexibility and mould to happen.

Thoughts of WFH

Even working one day at home can sometimes get a bit lonely, but as everyone else is WFH now, it seems less of a lonely time as there is much more effort put in place to connect and for everyone to be connecting right now as much as possible — over messaging, especially video and checking in if people are okay.

My personal actions for working from home are:

• My work alarm set as usual.
• Showering and getting dressed.
• Having breakfast and a cup of tea (as that’s how I’d start any day).
• Sitting at a desk or dedicated place for work times (I used to sit at the dining table).
• I’d cook up something nice for lunch (break from the screen too).
• Sit on the sofa or balcony to eat lunch to break off (my desk is out of sight). My place is an open plan kitchen, dining and living room.

As I somewhat work through lunch after eating, I like to clock off earlier to make sure I’ve fitted in a late afternoon walk before it gets dark. Otherwise, take your full hours lunch to go somewhere for a change of scenery.

With all the blogs and podcasts I’ve followed over the years about remote working other tips were to put on shoes as if you were going to the office, take a walk before and after work to create the idea of commuting to and from work, and some easy ones; don’t work from your bed, don’t be naked, be mindful of other naked people in the background of your video calls and make sure you take screen breaks.

For me, I need to work on drinking as much as I do when I’m at work. Lots of water and teas as usual. It’s easy to sit in the same spot for a long time and focus on your work, easily forgetting to stay hydrated and move around.

Thoughts about anxiety

It’s clear that it’s an easy time to feel anxious right now. At all different levels and at each person’s circumstance. Whether it be for reasons of health, finance or just plain panic from social influence. Everyones opinion and feelings about this same topic is felt differently. Social media is usually a great spot for awareness of pressing issues, but right now if you’re feeling anxious, be open to pulling yourself away from social media. If you want facts about what’s happening, go to reliable resources like the BBC, The Guardian, Gov Health, WHO websites.

Despite trying to keep up with what’s importantly going on, I’m personally and knowingly trying to block out everything else happening regarding the ‘Rona, like the affects on the economy and industries. Because, there’s nothing I can personal do right now. It’s already so hard keeping up per country on how they’re tracking and watching those numbers increase daily. It’s mentally exhausting to be fired all this daily news about one topic. And, as much as it is important, and the severity of this is high — I just can’t hear so much about it, my mind is becoming mashed. Hearing about my family receiving racial abuse in the UK already infuriated me and that started back in January. I purposely don’t watch the news to be faced with negative headlines everyday from when I wake — my mind and body can’t quite manage it.

I think it’s important to stay considerate of other people’s sensitivity around this topic today.

Masses of people are affected, especially a lot of my friends who work in schools, people who have lost their jobs in an instant and cannot find new work right now. In these times, it’s so so important to support each other. Have conversations, let’s talk about something else for a second.

I don’t have a panic mode right now, everything will blow over once everyone understands that it’s time to stay home to decrease those numbers. We have clear examples of what happens if you do not abide by these rules given to us, Italy and China are clear examples. We should not reach our peak if we just listen to the advice of staying put at home. No change will happen if there is no change made. For me, I know what I do and know where I’ve been — for others, it’s in their own hands what they decide to do in this self-isolation time. But some people are not being respectful about it by going to the beach and busy places like pubs and restaurants (I’m sorry hospitality industry).

Thoughts of positivity

• I’m happy to see people turning to online exercise regimes (Me? Nah.)
• I’m happy to see neighbours helping each other out
• I’m happy to see supermarkets are considering the elderly
• I’m happy to see people are being productive with their time (there is no pressure that you should be learning everything new under the sun)
• I’m happy to see games played between people online
• I’m happy to take a moment at home and to try be still (I used to hate the idea of staying in at home btw)
• I’m happy to see people using their businesses for other means; like filming space for online videos and for others to sell their produce.
• I’m happy to see people are checking in on each other and offering out their hand to help — this should ideally already be a thing dear humans. Also the hand-washing thing.

I’ll close off there, these are just my thoughts and opinions right now during this time. Rightly different to someone else’s.

From London to Berlin, to the final destination of Sydney, Australia. The dreamy sunshine haven, a place I longed to be one day. The 6 years of built-up fear, other life events, I day dreamed about it since 2012, up until in 2018 — when I finally made it. Sydney bound. It’s been one year deep in the Sydney sider living.

Here’s a rundown of how it happened…

Throwback to a moment in London, inside stuffy Liverpool Street Station in 2013. I hold (and say goodbye to) a moment where I was hysterically crying to two best friends premature of a quarter-life crisis, saying I wanted to move to Sydney. They hugged me and advised me to do what was realistic. Feeling thrown off by life, I was further confused by this as most things to me is deemed possible and I generally followed the idea of “living life to the max”. I believed you make life as you want it (still believe), but my question..

How was what you want in life achieved without understanding what you want in the first place?

From there, I found a spare room online, transferred a student £435 for it on a Wednesday, and moved to London on the Sunday. A whim for clarification. I absorbed a lot in the fast-paced over-populated city — professionally, personally and gained closure to some struggling emotions. Chapter closed. Great confusion overcome. Great enough to propel to the next life challenge (maxin’ it out)… Beloved Berlin. I gained further experience in change, shifting life and making things work whatever the weather (literally).

Pre-move to Sydney. My expectations consisted of high temperatures — chillin’ 80% beach time, 20% work, living in my many bikinis I brought, BBQs with heeeeaps of mates, drinks in the sun and being surrounded by fun people. Woohoo! Life. Is. A. Party. Right?

I sure that’s some people’s Sydney experience.. But mine shaped in a different way. Brand NEW emotional struggles came of this life — and to tip it off my friends and family back home think I’m “living the dream” and having the best time all the time. But if having social stress and anxiety about not meeting or being invited out with heaps of my mates by the weekend and in reality I made about 4 friends, then 2 of them left Sydney, then it’s barely a dream — more of an anxious nightmare of why I traveled so far to feel alone.

But hello Bondi Beach. The beach of dreams. A bright sunny day, 11th August 2018 (Winter), “the first sunny day in winter” I was told. A great day to be sitting on the grass overlooking the entire beach landscape. But why so sad? Living in Bondi with the white Brits, made me question..

Did I just swap all my loving family and friends for a sunnier beach version of England?

It indeed felt so, but on the other side of the globe. For two weeks, I was itchy and irritated as I envisioned this experience in my Pisces day dream head for years to feel like the best thing ever.

I had to majorly shift some expectations. I was jet-lagged and hindsight says, I was tired and took this into consideration during my weird ‘I-don’t-like-this-place’ phase. It definitely took some time to adjust.

The two weeks went by, I began freelancing on Pitt Street (in the ciddy). I described Sydney CBD — London with palms trees. Work and surroundings were familiar and I had purpose. It helped that a colleague was from York and my boss worked in the same ad agency as I did in London.

Familiarities are essences that help you settle in anywhere new, so I began to appreciate.

Now, with one years Sydneysider knowledge accrued, Sydney CBD is definitely not London with palms trees. Sydney is slower, smaller and more breathable, or just breathable in general, less skin cells in the air y’know — but still with tall, happy, proudly swaying palm trees.

It is a sunny place, all year round. The weather is a game changer which highly effects your mood positively all year round. It’s mid winter now, still sunny, and it’s getting a little breezy at its 14 degree temperature. This means wearing a jacket over your t-shirt and jumper, a hat and scarf is the max requirement. Goodbye Berlin thermals. Or still, you can wear shorts and flip flops (thongs) as some crazy or lazy Aussies do.

Work was a big driver to settling in and chasing some life goals. I freelanced for the year, networked in the new city with recruiters, companies and landed contracts where I wished I could’ve split myself up to be able to work for all the different places. I also enjoyed showcasing my expertise in every interview and meeting I went to, it’s challenging proving to others what you’re capable of in the space of 30 minutes. With that year gone, my working holiday visa got bumped up to a temporary short skilled working visa (482 TSS), which lasts up to 2 years, with option to renew after. I’m now a full-time Product Designer for a fintech company. A very competitive industry right now in Australia, with many smart solutions in online banking and digital finance.

Quick one year facts:

• My landlord (and first housemate) is a 63 year old life coach who ordered take out for every single meal. (I didn’t learn as much as I hoped).
• Lived two weeks in Bondi (which is a cool thing — near the beach!) aka Bondi bubble — if you live there, you don’t exit.
• ‘Arvo’ is afternoon, not short for avocado. People say this in work as well.
• I’ve never actually heard anyone say ‘sanga’ yet in a sentence, aka sarnie / sandwich.
• I went to Bali and Singapore during my working HOLIDAY visa — amazing.
• So far visited: Melbourne, Adelaide, Byron Bay, Airlie Beach, Whitsundays.
• On the list to visit: Tasmania and NZ.
• The Waterloo apartment overlooks Moore Park (a sea of green trees) on the East side, and killer sunsets on the West side.

A year pretty much touches the surface when living somewhere new. You’re grasping work, the different suburbs, new people and living situations. A year isn’t quite enough, I haven’t finished with you yet Sydney. (I’ll rinse you for everything you’ve got!). With a few expectation crisis’ out of the way, I have to be present with where I am and understand I’m here for now. It’s easy to dismiss what’s happening where you are at the moment when you’re chasing the next job, trying to find new friends, somewhat naturally criticising yourself as you go along AND thinking about what you’re missing back home. Right now, I’m in Sydney. Right now, I have 2 friends (joke, I have a few more) which will build as I go. Right now, I’m sat on the landlord’s 90’s beige chord upholstered reclining chair and made very dry vegan blueberry scones. All great things to appreciate.

If I haven’t summed up my move to Sydney already, it’s that — it’s pretty easy from one side when you accept all around you, and it can be pretty darn difficult in general if you compare what you expected to reality. In reality: food is good, living is good, weather is good, culture (Asian) is good. I have a heartbeat, that’s good.

There’s so much more to tell about living in Sydney. Living in a majority Asian Chinese community in Western white society — NEVER experienced before. Being in a room of all/mostly Chinese people (that isn’t my family) was brand new for me, I notice because I’ve been the only Chinese person in the room since 1990, year of birth. This is for another blog post.

That’s one year in Sydney down 🇦🇺👋

Remote Year a travelling program for online working professionals. You get all your accommodation and workspace sorted for you, you get to travel with 70 fellow entrepreneurs to multiple destinations and go to tailored events.

Applied. Here’s my application submitted.

Accepted. Success. Approved.

Great — so let’s do it? Or not..

It was 2016 when I applied and decided not to follow through to go and travel the 12 exotic countries proposed, spending a month in each, living the digital nomad/remote working life I’ve always dreamed of.

Why?

As much as I enjoyed reading the success stories of the program, it was everything I wanted. It seemed possible to start an online business from the ground the minute you landed or to team up with fellow entrepreneurs on the program. However, realistically, I didn’t have a remote working business at the time and paying $5000 (US dolls) down payment and earning $2000 (US dolls) each month to pay for all the accommodation, travel and events Remote Year held got me financially questioning.

Do entrepreneurs really pay this amount alongside running their own business as well? Aren’t they still trying to make profit in the first two or more years? Who has this much money? And if they do, why not travel to anywhere they want themselves? SO many questions.

My main ponder was; as each country varies in cost, how did spending a month in each country cost the same? E.g. London vs Prague. Vastly different. Remote Year assured me that the costs would be utilised well for all the accommodation, working facilities and intuitive events held. I didn’t doubt the program as such (maybe the cost a little on myself), but I wanted to understand if this was right for me.

Whilst working full-time as a (mid-weight) digital designer in London, at that point in 2016, I was already earning and what I’d have to pay for Remote Year was the cost of nearly my entire annual salary. $29,000 (US dolls) / £22,465 for the year of travelling and working to pay for the travel. Depending on profits, I’d essentially come back with £0.

From my travelling experience and budgeting skills, £22k can get you many many plane tickets and many many travel experiences whilst travelling the entire world.

So what did you decide? Not to start your remote working dream?

I stopped there. I decided not to go to the final stage.

I sometimes wonder what the experience would’ve been like for me if I bit the bullet, but I like planning, my decisions where to go, knowing where my money is being used exactly and felt my savings could be utilised alternatively to set up my own working and travelling experience. So I did it a little differently.

Without having a remote business yet, I moved out of London and moved to Berlin. I had a job secured before moving out there and I lived there for 18 months experiencing two winters and one and a half summers. It was great meeting new people, other designers and being a part of the creative, Berlin start up culture. Learning German and facing -15 degree weather was the most difficult part, and I didn’t have to worry about money as my full-time job had me covered. So essentially, I could still travel and work in a new country.

Where are you now on your remote working dream goal?

I’m in Sydney. I’m a freelance UI product designer for companies/agencies. Not quite working the remote world yet. It’s definitely not an easy life on your own (so I’ve read), and I do love collaborating with people, creating working connections, being in a good culture and making friends in a new place too for that matter. Remote working would benefit me in a way that I don’t have to pack in a job every time I want to visit somewhere new. Then, in that somewhere new, I look for a new flat again, network again, learn the market, job hunt all over, again. The chase has always been exciting but I’m getting old (haha *cries*). Continuously starting new — can be pretty exhausting. So working remotely would be a perfect balance of consistent work and being able to live in new places for the experiences. Life is too short to stay in one place.

3 years since my RY application, if I did go on the program, I’m sure my journey would be crazy different; I would’ve learnt a ton of entrepreneurial work life aspects and I would’ve been a success story for sure (or be super broke — either one). But at the same time, I’m happy for the slower route I’ve chosen to travel to the spots I want and to reside in each place for a longer time to study the market and build more and closer worldly connections.

No regrets. Just pathways.

No wrong and right routes. Just A and B.

Life and decisions. How exciting.

FYI: Written in 2016. For the 2019 follow up see: Why I declined a year working remotely and travelling 12 countries?

Why Remote Year? Why do you want to go on Remote Year? Please answer in 250 words or less.

Once upon a time, I was your average design graduate from a small UK town, jobs were bleak, but I managed to get in the industry through a few connections. I’d ticked all the important boxes: get a degree, get a job, moved to London — done. I was proud of my achievements but after a few years, I realised there’s more to daily life than waking up to your 4th snoozed alarm, squeezing on 3 tube trains to central London, 9:30–6 at the desk, to squeeze back on the tubes home again — repeat. I’m surrounded by experienced, highly creative, business savvy colleagues who I learn from always. I dream to continue to do this but outside of the office environment. I’ve ambition to excel my little world for bigger things — to work with business focused people, provide creative solutions, give beautiful design and transform ideas into colour and life for the industry.

“You’re so brave”, “You’re going on your own? Isn’t that a bit weird?”. Travelling on my own was another important box ticked for me. Another part of who I am is being an explorer to culture, new people, languages and new feelings. ‘The urge of wanting to see things outweighs the fear of going alone’. So I did it. Many times. I adore meeting new people who have their own life stories and own ambitions, and combined, travelling elevates me to who I am.

Remote Year brings my two major life goals and loves together — it’s scary, but I say “bring it!”.

Why You? What unique aspect do you bring to the table for the Remote Year community?

I hope to bring optimism and problem solving to the table. In times where work and being away may be difficult, I’m a supportive individual who is open to help and listen — bringing a positive aura to the community. I’m good at following dreams and understanding what’s realistic which I think is an important balance. Some people jump and make it, some people think a little longer before making a bigger leap. I’m the second, I believe I’m rational and spontaneous at the right times and places.

Remote Work Details Please describe in detail your experience working remotely

My experience involved working at home at my desk, sheets of paper scattered around, chatting to clients about what designs they’ve asked for, and discussing extra recommendations that will benefit their brand. This, was during a full-time job at a fast paced design agency and was too much coming home from work to work. Thereafter, I moved to London and freelanced in and out of office which I really enjoyed — I was fighting my way through a new city, with new work, whilst job hunting for the next gig and gaining new opportunities were all a buzzing thrill for me. I didn’t realise at the time people worked remotely or freelanced for a long term career, I thought it was a gap filler. I learnt it does really work, especially in a city like London. During this time I’ve worked remotely for clients within London, Sydney, Murcia and Barcelona. It is doable! And I’d love to continue to do this connecting with more people globally.

Current Job Please describe your current role. If it will be different while on remote year, please explain.

As a digital designer at an advertising agency in central London — it’s busy and demanding. The staff turnover is high but the company morale is the out of this world amazing. I manage and oversee all digital work of my peers, I create brand guidelines, I design swiftly according to brand guidelines, I work alongside head of design, creative directors, art directors, web developers, UX designers and account/project management. My communication is reliable and my work and opinion is respected. In the instance of working remotely, I think I could carry this on, but actively I’d like to be more connected in projects so my goals are to create my own projects being on the Remote Year program. As an all-round designer with art directing skills and an entrepreneur mind set, I’m highly knowledgable of what is needed in a project to execute to it’s highest talent.

Here’s to my 26 year old self for applying and getting through, well done. But it’s 2019 and I didn’t go on the Remote Year program, here’s why.

When did you know you wanted to be a designer?

Whilst juggling art, media, graphic design and dance type subjects in high school — I knew I was a creative, I just couldn’t pin point what kind at 15 years old but I seemed to love all things art. No-one told me back then you could possess more than one creative obsession in life. It was about choosing a specific subject to ace and hoping it would evolve into a job for a bright future. I bagged myself an A* in my high school graphic design final — a branding project for a Japanese sushi restaurant with a foam board model prototype. Along with an A in Art and Maths, but still, what did this mean exactly?

A more defining moment was attempting a degree year in Photography. I spent the year pushing hard to impress my eccentric artsy tutor (who slept under a Richard Avedon photograph for his adorned love) and spent time wondering why I wasn’t mastering the art of documentary like the rest of my photography peers. (This wasn’t Instagram era either, it was 2008, it was uploads on Flickr — the photographer’s blog site). I also didn’t have my own DSLR at this point. It was questionable. I understood my passions didn’t lie here nor did I want to start my career with wedding photography (the known struggling graduate first job), so I changed my degree to Graphic Design and it was the best 19-year-old decision ever made.

How did you get to where you are now?

I landed my first graphic design job in my English hometown, Pontefract (impossible opportunities btw), as a junior designer creating posters and flyers for bars and nightclubs. Turns out you can do some cool stuff with light leaks. I freelanced on the side as well for my friend’s floristry business which was more experience too.

With one years experience down, I could actually matter to the creative industry. Hallelujah. I moved to London ASAP and got design work in media companies, ad agencies and an e-commerce startup by freelancing. My main goal was to max out learnings from every role and colleague around me, that curious junior asking questions upon questions — t’was I. Two years in speedy London where you age harder than anywhere else, the bump around commute wasn’t for me.

So next up, I nabbed a Digital Designer job in the creative marketing department at Zalando HQ in Berlin. Largest e-commerce retailer in Europe and the largest corporation I’d ever worked for (11k employees). It was pretty special working there, designing custom campaign pages with pools of talent, a whole blog post could go to this one but here’s a story about my first day.

Thereafter, two years in cold Berlin, I came to sunny Sydney, Australia. I’ve been freelancing for various agencies and in-house companies so far; designing an e-learning platform in edtech, UI pitch for Volkswagen and UX/UI for fintech products. Here I am, location of dreams and product designer.

What would you’ve done anything differently?

Nothing really, as I deem every experience a gain. Maybe looked into copy writing sooner, I really enjoy writing as a way of expression and creativity but it also really impacts user journeys whilst designing. If it was possible, I’d like to slow doooown time so I can work on the list of side projects I’ve got going on in my head. The Deep Work book may help — utilising time to maximise concentrated work.

What’s does your average day look like? What makes it a good day?

When working: I arrive at the new agency or in-house company — if I’ve been working there awhile, I’ll grab a cup of tea and get working. Depending on the workplace, atmospheres can vary; being a new freelance face I believe it’s important to be social for good impressions and collaboration. So conversations and building connections with your team mates makes a good working day —and more possibilities for company at lunch.

When not working: I have heaps of inspirations and creative/UX/trend articles bookmarked and backlogged to read. Design and processes are changing so much and quickly, it’s a must to stay intact. I attend talks, most recently by Academy Xi; Design Sprints, Design Thinking, UX Trends 2019 and Service Design.

What’s your setup?

Macbook Pro 13" usually hooked up to a Dell monitor (standard in most of my workplaces). Along with a Wacom Intuos tablet and my LaCie hard drive packed with Sketch plugins, material libraries and UI kits to get me going.

How do your space, tools, and habits benefit you? What about the things you think needs improvement?

Where I live in Waterloo is pretty easy to get to the city for new workplaces. The transport in general in Sydney isn’t as developed as London or Berlin, so agencies/companies are still pretty accessible as they’re mainly based in the city or Surry Hills which is a 15 minute walk. An improvement would be a desk space to work from home. My desk space usually consists of my bed with a pillow to rest my laptop on or the dining table where I usually eat and watch Netflix — both my time out places. Associations are vital here as it can be difficult, tho very comfortable, to focus.

A new makeshift desk I’m writing this piece from, is the fold out table on my 2x1m squared bedroom balcony. Morning time is great as it’s cool enough in the summer, but as it hits 2pm I’m now hiding under my UV blocking umbrella so my laptop and I don’t fry. I have an ideal work space of course, a desk in Bali or anything from Minimal Setups.

Tell us about a project you learnt the most from, and why?

A two week pitch at SapientRazorfish. With a team of CX, UX, service design, business analyst, architect engineers and myself— a UI Visual Designer, our job was to create a seamless CX and digitalise the car buying experience for Volkswagen. It was the first time working this agile with a ton of knowledge packed in a short amount of working time. The CX design director was incredible, she was definitely the type of director you want to work under and aim to be one day. The process was rushed but fluid, clear goals were set daily, the team was dedicated, we worked passionately late and it was the most jam packed two weeks of knowledge gained — fully enjoyable.

What are you most proud of?

My life in general is dependent on whether I’m happy with my current situation and if not, how can I change it up? I’m currently proud of making it to Sydney and working here as a freelancer. With just two weeks of arriving, I landed my first gig at a brand and communications agency. Work began from there. I’ve managed to skew my career from digital design for advertising to the tech world of designing for products with a CX focus.

What does your routine look like?

I love to cook my own food so when I’m home from work, it’s deserved to have a good dinner and catch something on Netflix. Sometimes I’ll attend a life drawing class, have dinner out and catch up with friends. When I’m off work, I like to still get up relatively early to not waste the day. As I’m in a new city, I aim to discover new places and enjoy where I’m living right now. From coastal walks to working on my laptop in a trendy café.

Who’s work do you follow and admire?

Daniel Korpai — a product designer who is blitzing all of his skills in design, writing and photography. It’s very impressive.

Surviving (almost) a week, I’ve 2 hours left until my train to Rome. Therefore, making the most of Ostella Rossi Arch’s sunny outdoor terrace here in Florence. With weather reports of downpour snow back in Berlin, I’m not guilty of trading the last hours exploring Florence for a sunbathe. Nope.

Since laying on this curvy wooden lounger since 11am, in only 14 degree heat but pure sunshine, I’ve been reading about others travelling alone. Losing (a little) will yesterday, I actually felt sad and lonely eating my Asian instant noodle pot (a taste of home) and drinking my aloe vera water in the hostel cantine (FYI: no shame as I’ve indulged on all but amazing Italian food so far, my stomach, budget and diet needed a break, okay?!). Reading about other people’s travel experiences helped and reminded me of why I choose to be here. I choose to be here as I deem dreaming is a way of planning. Having made this trip a plan and real means I’ve fulfilled one of my dreams essentially.

Rewinding back to day 5, despite glorious Instagram photos, a reality of truth I’ve felt so far;

1.

Eating alone. I really don’t mind doing this, but after 3 meals a day for 6 days, that’s 18 meals alone. The best thing for this is a notebook, time for photo editing, time for reading about the next place to visit or hoping for restaurant WiFi so you can have an e-meal with one of your friends or family members. Anything else than staring at the empty chair before you.

2.

Feeling socially judged you’re on your own. Generally, I don’t tend to care what people think. However, this sketch involved waiting for a table at Trattoria Za Za, a recommended popular restaurant in Florence with hoards of people waiting for a table. The organiser repeatedly stated ‘table for one’. Yep, that’s me. Again – ‘Table for two?’ Nope, just one. ‘Oh yeah, it’s just you’. Repetition not needed whilst others were groups of friends, couples or families. It was a pure retake of Sex and the City’s episode where Miranda tries to buy a NY apartment in the 80’s as a single woman and is questioned over and over ‘you’re alone?’ ‘just you?’. HOWEVER, a seat for one means restaurant queue jumps!

3.

Hostile hostel. My first hostel room in Venice – I was blessed with a really nice group of people, we didn’t have personal side lights so we had to be fair and share the main light which meant communicating to each other and adjusting to each other’s needs. This was nice. On the other hand, people who turn on the light at 7am, bang large hard case suitcases around and don’t even pretend to try be quiet, I quite dislike – Florence hostel. Nevertheless, it’s expected and accepted.

The Turnover

The reminder of why I’m here was needed. I appreciate every sight, every bite and every turn I’ve taken so far, alone can be a mighty conquer and consists of highs and lows – general life consists of highs and lows. So I accept.

I met Javier from Columbia, also travelling alone. He said it was his first time as he’s used to travelling with family or ex gfs. He told me Rome is beautifully romantic and he wished he was with someone special. I assume he’s alone this time as perhaps a recent single who turned to travelling for new adventures (at a guess), so I also reminded him why travelling alone is so great after my bulk reading and he agreed.

I’ve met so many other single travellers with own individual plans – radical last minute ones or scheduled long haul ones. This, I find very comforting, inspiring and reminds me that I’m not ‘just one’.

Last Friday after work, there was a Swiss party held in the hub — the communal party/conference space. Beers, Aperol, melted cheese on fresh bread, brownies, crisps and all general party goodies all on show. I believe it was the first real sunny day of the year that day, that type of day where a t-shirt and a jacket is enough, everyone is happy, and you can spend time outside (drinking). After getting drunk (or two Aperols later), I went along with a friend to CDV (Club der Visionaire), not having been to this place before, naturally I said yes. I forget I’m still so new to Berlin regardless of how settled I feel. Was a cool outdoor party space hovering over the canal; we had a drink, then got bumped around as the place got so busy. So headed home. There was a moment on Oberbaumbrücke (the bridge connecting Friedrichshain and Kreuzberg), the bridge I cross over daily for a lunch time walk but at this point it was 11:30pm; was dark, weather still warm, lights were lit and reflecting on the Spreé — it was so pretty. I’d seen it before, this time just tipsy, but particularly the moment here walking made me realise I’m really happy here. I felt the feeling I get when I’m travelling on my own and I spare a moment to myself to think, ‘well done, this was a good idea’.

Venice, Florence and Rome await me this week for 9 days. The longest European trip I will spend on my own, which always excites me as I’m proud to action something I want to do, but when it gets closer to the time — a tiny bit anxiety arises. I haven’t actually researched as much as usually do in preparation but I think I’m just happy to roam around freely. I will explore and sight see but not on a strict schedule (that’s sometimes the best thing about travelling alone — I’m so last minute, it doesn’t bother anyone else). It’s hostels all the way in all 3 places and I think I’ve chosen well on budget and reviews for where I stay (sleep = important). Perhaps the Venice hostel of paying for my own bed linen was not the best choice but it’s by the river so I hope that balances it out. It depends a lot on the people who stay in your room. In the past, I’ve been lucky. I always choose a female dorm no more than 4, but this time I’ve gone for 6 and 8 beds for costs. It’s either a good ol’ wreckless party vibe or a chilled ‘I’m just sight-seeing’ vibe. Tbh, I vote the second. I’ve booked myself a party hostel for Rome — the last of the holiday to just let loose a bit.

I’ve been asked a few times if I enjoy travelling alone. I do, but if I could choose exactly who I’d like to go with then it’d be way better. But that doesn’t always happen due to timing, budget, other people’s plans and just general life. I’ve learnt that if you want to make yourself happy by doing something, then you have to go it. With someone holding your hand or not, it’s actually a lot more accomplishing when you’ve conquered something entirely on your own. Of course, I dream of the perfect travel buddy that some people do have, to share memories with and all that but some people just haven’t been graced with them and I accept. I have friends, yes. Do they like to travel? Yes. But what happens is organisation and timing. Sometimes they don’t match, and I don’t push. I second thought this and maybe I just need to propose to more people — but honestly, I don’t want to gift people with my unorganised life and laid-back timing. A reason I’m happy to travel alone is because I’m happier to not bother anyone for how I am. Not everyone likes running around the airport due to bad timing, or buying unnecessary food incase struck by hunger — and by God, that’s tragic.

Just to remember. I moved to Berlin alone. And yet I have worries of travelling in Italy for 9 days. Going to main cities, where language shouldn’t be too much of a barrier. I know I’ll have a great time, but I do always question ‘what are you doing?’ Ha. Enjoying life I think is the answer, along with enriching life with seeing new places. It’s nothing crazy but it’s enough to keep me going and happy.

Today, I cycled 45 minutes to Tiergarten, on the Berlin road. That’s an accomplishment on it’s own I’d say, ON the right hand side of the road. Tiergarten was beautiful — I sat by the Spreé (river) and soaked up the sun. Another accomplishment is following maps and cycling the right way without panic of when you have turn left to cross over the traffic. That’s great. Well done. Then on the cycle home, I went by the river at my favourite time of early evening. I saw some really great buildings and landscapes, was so pretty and a perfect ratio of people to space —like 1:100, actual free space but busy enough that it builds an atmosphere. Not like South Bank in London on a weekend.

Today alone in Berlin reminded me of my accomplishments, and reassures me for my next solo trip to Italy.

The history: my top 3 single Valentine moments:

no1: February 2012. Sheffield. Watching romantic heart throb of Channing Tatum in The Vow with three of my best friends from university who are still my rock(s) today. Singles with recent exs and we shared bitterness together.

no2: February 2013. Thailand. Spent in the sunshine by the open lake after 5 hours of morning volunteering making cement and building a porch for the local orphanage.

no3: Tomorrow. 2017. Berlin. Soaking in my own love for myself.

All the rest of the years are a bit of a blur. This year I guess I want to write about what I love:

1.

I love the place I live, Mitte. I may need a new bed in my room but the area is flooded with places to eat and drink. Sandwiched between two major supermarkets which is the key to lazy success.

2.

I work for a huge company that has a great reputation. It’s by the Spree, has a great view (from the 6th floor) and is walking distance to Kreuzberg.

3.

In relation to above, I love that I’ve met some really great people who help me succeed in being myself in a new place.

4.

I love who I am when I’m away. It’s like a continuous holiday (structured by work but financially sane).

5.

I love that my current challenge is to try not go back home — sounds terrible but it’s a time where I want to soak up where I live. (In prep for living somewhere further away). Saying this, I do miss my family and I don’t ever wish time away.

6.

I love that my family and friends are at my finger tips in a message. We live in a lucky era where the things that were once hard have now been made so easy for us.

7.

I bloody love that fresh baked bread smell in the station every day.

8.

In relation to food, I’ve never eaten so much good sushi in my life.

9.

I love that you don’t have to spend £5 on toilet paper, it’s 1.25€ (pause for reaction) – for 10 rolls! 😂

10.

Overall, I love that I do as I please. Sometimes it’s great to be influenced by someone you deem great, but never to be lead by them against you’re own wishes, even if they’re small tiny wishes. Or to be controlled by them in any means. I’m going to stick with my word ‘influence’, it’s on par with someone who encourages you also — that’s nice too.

A self absorbed post if I do say so myself. Whilst we’re on the topic of myself, I also love my new hair, even if I did cry in the hairdressers; I cried and conquered language barriers and the owner asking me what my problem was. Yikes. German direct tone vs crying British polite victim. Yea.

So, Happy Valentines. Soak up being in love with everything. 💕