This is a self-translated writing by the author Iku Okada. The original article was written in Japanese and published in the September 2025 issue of the monthly magazine “The Budo” by Nippon Budokan.

I started practicing Aikido in the fall of 2020. Due to the prolonged effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, I reassessed my life and decided to find some physical hobbies that would provide good exercise and emotional support for a lifetime. The global Budo(martial arts) community seemed ideal for me, no matter what happens in the future, whether I remain in the United States or return to my homeland, Japan.

Since there are hundreds of Aikido dojos worldwide, I assumed that there must be something like a credit transfer system of colleges or a reward point program that covered all chain stores, which never was. I joined and then learned that the rank promotion tests require specific training days, which were responsibly counted under the same Shihan(grand master) of each dojo.

This means that my promotion test will be at most once a year, at my Tokyo dojo, while I’m staying for a few months in Japan. It was too late to regret not choosing New York City, where I live, as my starting point. Many mat-mates started later and have been granted colored belts one after another in around three years, but I’ve still been in a white belt for over five years.

I used to complain about this, but recently, as my shodan(the very first step to becoming a black belt) test has approached, I’ve finally come to terms with it. Now it feels more shameful to me that I once rashly strove to become a fast learner. Aikido attracts us with its beauty: there are no competitions, no winning or losing. However, beginners tend to compare their skills and superiority with others, so did I, spinning my wheels against the doctrine.

I defined myself as a person who loves to move forward, but the truth was an impatient and immodest one with shallow breaths. Aikido has helped me a lot in bringing back a deep and calm breath, away from a competitive spirit. People like me need more time to improve. It’s such a rich experience that I am fortunate to practice more than others, facing my own mind and body like polishing a dirty mirror to clear.

Every winter, I attend Aikikai Azabu Dojo in Tokyo, and spend the other seasons at Genshinkan in New York, under the Aikido World Alliance (AWA) headquartered in Chicago. Both dojos are similar in many great ways; local and diverse, not too large, with students in almost an even gender ratio. On the other hand, the teaching methods are quite different, much like the two grammars of Japanese and English. The footwork corrected here differs from what I was taught there, or the two types of approaches are named the same; it happens. For me, it’s endlessly confusing and fun to try both movements repeatedly, then realize it makes sense as one.

In Aikido, the predecessors say, “It takes a lifetime to master Ikkyo (the first taught technique of unarmed hold),” and that really resonates with my journey. There is infinite learning potential even in a single kata(form). Our goal is to absorb them all and arrive at our own Shizentai(natural body posture).

Thanks to the international atmosphere of the community, I also love joint training seminars held between affiliated dojos. We partner and practice together with people from various cultural backgrounds, communicating through our Lingua Aikido. In these days of growing hate speech and xenophobia around the world, this solidarity is particularly more encouraging than ever. In Ai-ki(unifying energies as one), we can overcome the true enemies; Aikido does not kill humans but rather their hostility, in the spirit of harmony.

I believe this is my path, my way of walking, with two home dojos and a diverse group of comrades, by accepting everything more slowly and hopefully more deeply than my former self.

Two Homes, One Path — My Aikido Journey was originally published in Aikido in English🥋 on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Comments, thoughts, questions, and grammar corrections are always welcome. Tell me about your Obasans, or your journey to become an Obasan. And, inquiries about any kind of translation publishing are also welcome! The publisher Shueisha will answer them.

We had been raised to be good daughters. We had been taught to study harder than boys and also assist elders at home as little women. Be a decent sister, who never embarrasses parents and brothers, and be worth showcased by them anywhere. Live your life as a fresh-cut flower to be picked and loved, as a sleeping beautiful womb for mankind’s dream, but be awake and prepared a little earlier for the dawn. Do not ever forget that you were born to be a woman. May you be a wonderful wife, mother, and grand-grandmother in the future… These kinds of phrases have permeated our lives for years on end. But no one ever gave us instructions on how to become “Obasan” — the word means “aunt/auntie” or “middle-aged lady” in Japanese.

Even though it refers to the widest mid-part in our brief but surprisingly long lives, Japanese people tend not to use the word “Obasan.” Because it sounds negative and impolite, they say, as same as English speakers avoid to point out ladies as “old” or “middle-aged.” Since the word for our coming era has been censored, we growing Japanese ex-girls had quite limited to see, hear, read, and dream about what comes next. It could be said that we had missed opportunities to be ready for maturity, or were deprived of it for intended.

So, as a single independent woman, I named myself Obasan. I started building an alternative way to become mature by self-taught, against the good-wife-wise-mother myth. This book is my private collection of middle-aged ladies from all over the world, past and present. Although there were so many long-lived weird women existing, they had been ignored and excluded from the patriarchy, or just called bitches or witches to be burnt. Now I could search for mature female figures with a strong bold and queer presence all by my legwork on the street, or in novels, movies, songs, and mangas. When I see good role models or even bad examples to be updated, they encourage me to re-write the world in higher resolution.

Obasan translates to “Auntie” and there is no clear age limit. First, every woman becomes an aunt when the siblings have a newborn baby, no matter how old she is. It is not age that determines aunt-ness, but the presence or absence of younger relatives like niece or nephew. Secondly, a stranger may call a woman “Hey, Auntie!” on the street. In that case, she appears to be an adult female but is not a mother, wife, lover, daughter, or any other relation to the one. Combined with these two, it could be said that women will be called “Obasan” almost automatically and passively, by families or strangers, after decades of their births. But here’s the tricky part.

An ancient Japanese proverb says, “It’s always better to have younger wives and newer tatami mats.” Male-centered society had evaluated females as younger is better, older is less. That affects women as well. More than a few still claim, “Never call me Auntie, I’m not that old!” The anti-aging party bands together and prefers sugar-glazed paraphrases, such as “forever young” or “ageless beauty.” Under the influence of their threats, girls are also too afraid of aging.

There’s no doubt that the negative connotation of “middle-aged lady” came from sexism and ageism in the male gaze. Back to the example of strangers who called us on the street. They didn’t even know our name, and just said “Hey, Auntie(=Obasan)!” instead of any other polite way. They labeled us instantly as “Not my mother, not my wife, she’s not one of my women, coming from the outer space of my world.” It also sounds like, “You look never belonged to any of my bros as a birth-giving machine, or already retired, so you are worthless with no market value.” Of course, I’m not yours, not your things, coming from the world you’ll never see. And you shall never laugh at it.

At least in its origin, “Obasan” is not a discriminatory word to be muted or erased, as same as “Aunt”. Let’s change the view of looking. Obasan is a pro-aging woman who has accepted the responsibility to her life. Obasan takes a step up the ladder, from being protected to being the protector, and from being given to being the giver. Obasan is at the midpoint of the sisterhood passed down vertically through the generations. Obasan cuts off the bad past and bestows the power onto the youths to weave the future. It is not strange for Obasan to be cool, reliable, essential, and admired by society. We adults are always free to be like that of our own volition.

Becoming Obasan is to get own mindset more than the given title. Some might do so in their youth, others might not even in their later years, based on personal, social, or historical backgrounds. I decided to become Obasan around the age of 40 since my career was stable enough to look around. I have no plans to have my kids, yet I connect with my nephews, nieces, and younger friends. If I see any children in struggle, I would like to yell to them, “What’s up? Obasan is here for you!” Because I’m not a girl, and not yet a grannie.

This is my narrative, quite personal and extremely subjective writing. Not an academic paper, but rather to be called the author’s declaration of belief. I cannot conclude yet, for my experiments in life are ongoing. However, thanks to the footprints of many Obasans, we can follow them looking on the bright side of the latter half of our lives, which once had seemed so dark.

I hope this reading will change you a bit; how you look at aunties, or how you feel when you call them aunties. Furthermore, when you become Auntie=Obasan in the future, I hope this book will be with you; as a guidepost for the lost, a small light in the darkness, emergency food in your pocket, or a compass that gives you the confidence to move forward.

From a female memoir in 10th Century Japan to Mad Max Fury Road, this book mentions many titles of novels, movies, songs, and mangas, to introduce and portray Obasan. Such as:

• Aunt March and Jo Bhaer, from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
• Fairy God Mother, from Cinderella and Maleficent
• Aunt with no name, from Kim Ji-young, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-Joo
• Two Old Women: An Alaskan Legend of Betrayal, Courage and Survival by Velma Wallis
• Miss Honey and Miss Trunchbull, from Matilda by Roald Dahl
• Ladies in Green Town, from Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury
• Miss Marple, from crime novels by Agatha Christie
• The Vuvalini, from Mad Max Fury Road
• Mrs. Pepperpots, from Monty Python’s Flying Circus
• Dorothy Michaels, from Tootsie
• The Ring Of Keys of Fun Home, based on the graphic novel by Alison Bechdel
• The Woman Cards by Zebby and Zach Wahls
• Aunt with no name, from The Sarashina Diary by Lady Sarashina
• Aunt Numa by Naoko Nomizo
• Aunt Yukino, from The Premonition by Banana Yoshimoto
• Natsuko, from Breasts and Eggs by Mieko Kawakami
• Where the Wild Ladies Are by Aoko Matsuda
• A Poor Aunt Story by Haruki Murakami
• The Ballad of Narayama by Shichiro Fukazawa
• Beautiful Whistling Snow White by Yōko Ogawa
• Olga Morisovna’s Rhetorical Question by Mari Yonehara
• All Too Barbarian by Yūko Tsushima
• Aunt Makio, from Ikoku Nikki(Journal with Witch) by Tomoko Yamashita
• Flowers and Birds in Faraway Lands from The Poe Clan by Moto Hagio
• Three old ladies, from Roommates by Yōko Kondō
• Chimpui by Fujiko F. Fujio
• Message Song by Pizzicato Five
• The Future World Guiding by Obasans by Elizabeth Coll and Kenji Ozawa

and more

Title: Becoming Obasan (我は、おばさん)
Author: Iku Okada (岡田育)
Date of Issue: 06/04/2021
Publisher: Shueisha (集英社)
Format: Tankobon Soft Cover
Price: 1600 JPY + tax
Book Design: Chikako Suzuki (鈴木千佳子)
ISBN: 978–4–08–771747–1
Purchasing Portal: https://www.hanmoto.com/bd/isbn/9784087717471

Preface from “Becoming Obasan” by Iku Okada was originally published in Becoming Obasan on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Someone said to me, “Oh, so you are an ‘Autobiographer’!” I’m afraid not. I’m not the first Asian female President of the United States, nor the first human lander on Pluto, nor the serial killer who lives next door. My books are surely autobiograph-ic, but publishers never requested me to write autobiographies. They said, “Tell your story more as you’ve blogged.”

“If your books were true-life stories and were read as fiction, take ‘Non-fiction novel’.” My friend said. Thanks, but this word strongly reminds me of Truman Capote. Totally different from In Cold Blood, my books just show my dull teenage days, obsession with manga, an aromantic marriage with an odd husband, and many bad habits like eavesdropping at restaurants. I love to read memoirs like Fun Home by Alison Bechdel, and it’s de-lovely if my true story also becomes a Broadway musical widely known as both real and fiction. But not yet.

“How about ‘I-Novel’?” Good question from a Japanese literature lover. I-Novel is a literary genre very popular in Japan. You can peep into anything that happened to the author’s life through it. Yes, it’s close to what I write. The only problem is that nobody regards me as an I-Novelist. Becoming an I-Novelist is to enter through the narrow gate. I have never been called so, until I open the gate with its golden key, such as to win some specific prizes.

Separated from novel and novella, the category my books belong to is usually called ‘Zuihitsu (Essay)’, and Japanese people often call me an Essayist. Some English speakers kindly taught me that it sounded weird. “You are an essayist! Hilarious like a time traveler who came from the era of Michel de Montaigne!” Someone laughed at my self-introduction. Agreed, this word might have been badly imported into my homeland.

It feels very strange that I can’t explain my own work. What if I say, “I’m a diary-writer.” It’s more natural to me, for Japan has a long history of ‘Nikki Bungaku (Diary Literature)’. And what if I’m sheer arrogance and stating that my writings are descendants of The Pillow Book (Makura no Sōshi), completed in 1002 by Sei Shōnagon. This title is frequently ranked as one of the two most famous literary works of the Heian era; the other one is The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu.

While The Tale Of Genji is sort of a novel, The Pillow Book could be described as a public diary without a timestamp. According to Wikipedia, The Pillow Book is “a book of observations and musings recorded by [her]”. It depicted the beauties of nature in detail. It illustrated people’s behavior with a sense of humor and irony. It revealed the cutting-edge thoughts and minds of well-educated women in that era. It made trends and developed new aesthetics. In other words, she invented social media of her own and became an influencer among aristocrats over 1000 years ago!

Most people in the world might think that Japanese women are too modest to express their own feelings, but it’s not true. The Tale of Genji and The Pillow Book, these two greatest pieces, were both written by women. They wrote about many unnamed women, recording unofficial stories. It still inspires and encourages followers like me. We must write more about ourselves. We must take notes when men underestimate us and don’t hear us at all. We must live by our pen, and get paid for it, to fight against sexism and gender inequality. We must write to descendants that we need A Room of One’s Own.

A Japanese medical university secretly lowered women’s test scores because it was a “necessary evil.” In August 2018, Japanese media reported the news. And I vomited. This is not a metaphor, but Nausea. I actually threw up all I had eaten in the past two days. Around midnight, in my bathroom, in suffering, I tweeted. “I’ve never called myself a feminist before, because I’d believed it should become an outdated dead word in our era. But look, see what happened. I’ve changed my mind. Call me whatever. Label me as you like.”

I keep writing to express my feelings, and not to lose my public voice. Even if I don’t have either the job title or the name, I would keep writing. Yet strange that it brings me some money. If everyone listened to others equally and every dream we have came true, my job might be done. But now I’m a writer, I write about myself, write about someone else like me. As a substitute for people who were demanded to be muted. As following those women who had made her-stories thousands of years ago.

“What are you writing about?” you may ask. “About anything that should be written.” I will answer. I’m writing as I’m vomiting. You can call me whatever you like.

This article was written inspired by a Twitter Hashtag #私たちは女性差別に怒っていい . Which means “It’s OK to be mad, angry, upset (for showing our rights against sexism)”, just released after Tokyo Medical University was accused.

Let me introduce a little book which was published 20 years ago.

All the quotes in this book were taken from conversation with New York City cab drivers. They are not ashrams, not psychics, not professors of literature nor philosophy. But, they are philosophers, and great thinkers.

Though most of them also might not be native English speakers, their wisdoms are universal. Risa Mickenberg wrote about them like this “The fact is, New York cab drivers are the world’s most accessible source of truth and wisdom”.

I bought this book in Tokyo, when I was a teenager. The price was originally $14.95, and it costed much more when I purchased as an imported foreign book. But I got it, have read it, and brought it from Tokyo to my long long journey of studying abroad.

First, I was encouraged by this English book because it’s so easy to read but very thoughtful. I found that “wisdom” needs no pedantic words and phrases. The most important thing is to think by one’s own and to use one’s own words.

Second, this kind of books I’ve read really guided me to here, New York City. Every time I took a taxi in Tokyo, I remember this book, and enjoyed conversation with a driver. It could be possible that I create the Tokyo version of this wisdom book, but I noticed that I’m not satisfied with that. Every time remembering this book in a taxi, toward to my former job, I’ve yearned for living my life in New York. It took several years but now I’m here.

The wisdoms in this book attracted me, it was the attraction of New York City. Taxi drivers wisdom represent its diversity, toughness, individuality, and its casual mood.

Now I enjoy reading this book while I walk on the street of New York City. I took these pictures on the Fifth Avenue, on my way to school.

“TAXI DRIVER WISDOM”
by Risa Mickenberg
1996, Chronicle Books
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0811811654

It’s on the street was originally published in ESL essays and more on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Do you know this machine?

Gyrotonic exercise methods use specialized equipment that permits one to move with support and resistance. “Gyr-” means “ring, circle, spiral”. This is the key principle for this exercise; continuous flowing movements like drawing a circle, synchronized with corresponding breath patterns. It’s intended to increase the functional capacity of the entire organism in a harmonious way.

The Gyrotonic Expansion System was created by Juliu Horvath. Born in Romania in 1942, he was a swimmer and gymnast before becoming a professional ballet dancer. He developed the Gyrotonic methods after his personal struggle with chronic pain and injury that ended his dance career. It began as a kind of rehabilitation for himself. In 1984, he established the first studio in New York. These methods were once called “Yoga for Dancers” because most of his students were dancers at that time. Now it’s improved as Gyrotonic and opened for everyone regardless of age or state of health.

In 2013, There are over 2500 Gyrotonic studios, with 7800 trainers practicing in 52 countries. This exercise has attracted many celebrities and athletes, from Tiger Woods, Carl Lewis, Mark Wilson and Shaquille O’Neal to Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Liv Tyler, Julianne Moore and Naomie Harris.

How I came across Gyrotonic

Last year, I took Gyrotonic lessons in Tokyo. Working hard as a book editor, I have had a terrible backache for years. I read a book written about this exercise, and visit the author/instructor at her studio. She told me that the best way to solve my aches is to move my body by myself. That’s true. Soon I noticed that it works and it’s quite better than spending money to just lying on a bed of backrub salons in vain.

I recommend it to people like me, who have poor sports ability. I don’t play any sports, I really hate to do hard workouts. However, now I love to do Gyrotonic exercise because it’s so easy and reasonable to move my body with this odd shaped equipment. It fixed my distortion in posture by stretching and strengthening the muscles. Equipment has weights at the end of wires, it brings a good tension to every move I make. But it’s not so heavy, totally different from a kind of weight training. It feels like the upper version of band exercises or pair yoga lessons, though my partner is not a human, just weights.

My practice with Naoko-Sensei

When I moved to New York, the instructor of Tokyo introduced the studio “Gyrotonic on Broadway” to me. This studio was established in 2010 by Naoko Moriyama-Robbins. She has an over 20 years long career as a professional dance performer and Gyrotonic teacher.

The studio is located on Broadway, around Flatiron Districts. Though the studio is not so much large, there are many equipments for Gyrotonic methods. They have personal lessons, group lessons, Gyrokinesis (using only a mat and a chair) class, and instructor training course. Naoko Robbins has raised many young Gyrotonic instructors. Many of them were from Japan, and most of them have backgrounds as a dancer or performer. Clients are various; old and young, men and women, American, Japanese people, and others.

I call her Naoko-Sensei. “Sensei” means “the professor” or “the master” in Japanese. Though we usually enjoy chatting in Japanese, the lesson itself goes on in English. Inhale, exhale, ribcage, pubic bone, clavicle…. I’ve learned many new words about my body through the lessons.

Gyrotonic on Broadway
http://www.gyrotoniconbroadway.com/
928 Broadway, Suite 205,
New York, NY 10010
(Bet. 21st and 22nd Street)
Phone: (212) 473–2703

Gyrotonic On Broadway was originally published in ESL essays and more on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Since moved to New York last summer, I have experienced many cultural shocks. I’m very interested in watching people with different cultural backgrounds. Cross-cultural awareness is everywhere in our daily life. Sometimes a shock makes me confused and annoyed, and it has given me the motivation to act.

For example, as a Japanese person, I’m always shocked that people have their feet up to chairs or tables. Especially, when they have food and drinks.

You might know that we Japanese take off our shoes at home. I’m not sure the exact reason of this custom, but it might have related with the humid of our homeland. The English words “with one’s shoes on”, is translated into Japanese as “Dosoku (muddy feet)”. It means to get dirt on other one’s privacy and dignity. Even if we could accept someone entering the room without taking off shoes, we never allow the shoes (Dosoku) upon a bed, a sofa, a carpet, or a table. For us, it seems like you treat our bed or table as a toilet.

I’ve been so surprised that many New Yorkers tend to put their shoes on chairs and tables. To reach a higher place, they climb on tables with their shoes on. To rest their bodies, they hold their knees to their chests and put their feet up on chairs with shoes. Honestly, I don’t want to gaze at them in fear. I don’t want to use this soiled furniture they handled so roughly.

So I made the “Manner Poster” in my “Typography 1” class (by Dmitry Krasny). This is a hand-drawing poster project against a socially inappropriate or unacceptable behavior, without using the word “No”.

This is my first rough sketch. The message is “Your shoes belong on the ground, as your food belongs on tables.” Then I revised my poster below, without using illustrations, because it’s a typography-oriented project.

The poster is 18 x 24 inches big. A draft was made on Adobe Illustrator and I drew it by tracing on a room window as a lighting box. It says, “Dear guests, please take away your feet from chairs and tables, thank you.”

It’s designed for places such as University Cafe, a communal lounge, or a casual dinner. Manners make the place clean and elegant. It also makes cost reductions not to change their equipments frequently, if customers never handle the furniture roughly.

I don’t want to force someone not to do something, but their behavior might change if someone will teach to them that’s unacceptable to others. We must learn the good behavior from different cultures. A little awareness brings a better future to all of us.

https://ikuokada.myportfolio.com/manner-poster

Shoes and Tables was originally published in ESL essays and more on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I’d like to write about so-called “Bikini Armor” later. Let’s get started with Princess Peach instead. The world famous female video game character. The blonde heroine who dressed in pink, probably inspired from classical Disney princesses, so adorable, selfless and worth to be rescued.

Some of you might imagine that Japan is a super male-dominated society. Well, my answer is Yes, and No. Regarding gender equality, at the global point of view, I must say that my home country is less-developed than any other advanced countries. However, we Japanese women rarely face such terrible sexual exploitation as you might see through Hentai fictions (Hey I know you saw them!), or Madame Butterfly.

It’s hard to describe. I won’t say there’s no problems. But please just understand, we’re not living in (or dying for) Samurai tradition anymore. We’re not locked-in like Geisha anymore. Confucian sense of seniority? Not as strict as patriarchal religions in Western world. For example, I was raised up in a super-liberal family in Tokyo. My mother is a feminist/art educator who had studied abroad, much modern and less religious than others in her generation. She had always told me that anyone can be anything and girls should be treated just equal to boys.

I believe that many Japanese successful women in the modern society were raised up like me. Most of us are well-educated and feeded both Eastern and Western thoughts since childhood. Some might have fought against their out-of-date families for their rights of high-education or economic independence, but they also get supported from others. Many of us have really fed up with the current right-ish government, which persistently demanded us to step back into pre-modern ideal families. We never allow to turn back our clock.

However. At the same time, as a result of chaotic mixture of both original Eastern and imported Western thoughts, I, an ordinary Japanese girl, took much time to become a feminist. Again, it’s so hard to describe. It doesn’t happen to all Japanese girls, but I experienced odd twists and turns. Possibly, my story might be similar to elder feminists decades ago, rather than young readers in the same age.

My liberal parents had treated me just equal to boys. “Be ambitious”, they said. “There’s nothing you can’t do in this world.” On the other hand, my conservative relatives in countryside said, “Wish you were an eldest son. Regret to say that you are smarter than boys.” So, I became a little girl strongly believed that she was equal to boy — or, almost a boy.

In my childhood, I naturally hated the idea that women are weak and vulnerable, because I kept trying to become tougher and stronger than boys. Honestly, yes, I hated empty head girls, who weeping and waiting to be saved. My younger sister always ended our fighting with fake sob-sob crying to call over adults. Cheating, isn’t it? Yes, I don’t like Princess Peach, too. I love Super Mario Bros., but she’s not me. I’ve never felt empathy to Princess Sob-sob. I’m more mannish and never cry like my sister. I rather be Mario. I’m eligible for the player character of this world. — That was my thought.

Hey, little girl, it’s not a feminist… you are just a Honorary Male. You believe that you are eligible for the player of this world, just because you think and act like men. You are a winner who obeys to men’s rule, a privileged elite who never change the male-centered worldview. Don’t try to be Mario, you’re absolutely not an Italian guy with a mustache. Be the player of the world, just as yourself. Then save vulnerable Princess Peach. Don’t blame her, it’s not her fault to be assaulted. And save tyrant King Koopa (Bowser), too. Think how you could stop his behavior; without punching back to him.

This is my current thought. Wish I could speak to that young girl, who was struggling with twists and turns of chaotic mixturized gender roles.

Once I was a brave boy-like child soldier. “If I were a boy, I could rule the world,” I trusted. Sob-sob girls were useless and irrelevant for that playground, or battlefield. “Who cares Princess Peach?” I thought. She is an unimportant sub-character who only appears at the last scene. I screened out her from my sight. As if she’s not there. When I played the boy role, that kind of thought, or attitude, followed me everywhere like a dark shadow. What is that shadow? Something intangible. That evil headhunt me to its troop, gently whispering, “If you were masculine, you could rule the world.” Or, the same voice said to me, “Women are their own worst enemies, aren’t they?”

I had proudly believed that I was strongly conscious about gender inequality. On the other hand, I have ignored girls to be rescued. Now I feel guilty that once I said “I dislike Princess Peach!” — I don’t. Of course, she is not my worst enemy. Remembering my girlhood (almost boyhood I would say), I feel I was a chess pawn of the proxy war. The true enemy is in the backroom of this proxy war; something more intangible.

“Q1. Is unconscious gender bias in Japan acceptable to Japanese women?” I answer, “No.” We’ve been fighting against it with our recognition. “Q2. Why did you care less about gender representation in Japanese video games?” My girlhood may answer, “I’m not sure… I thought I’ve already solved the issues… In comparison to old-time miserable women, I feel happy enough being equal to boys… And I don’t see any unhappy women here, in front stage.”

That’s the way this country’s culture looks like less-developed. It takes time for me to notice that once I was a honorary male, or a blind witness. From my experience, I can easily imagine that similar things happen to Japanese males. We all might have been guilty, and, we all might have been victims.

It takes time. Which means it’s advancing. So, please keep questioning to Japanese people. They look happy but they might not. They might laugh, “What’s the matter? It’s just a video game, isn’t it?” Let them think about it. More seriously. Not to create brainwashed child soldiers anymore. Keep watching patiently as if that country is 100 years late behind you; but advancing, and not so stupid.

In recent Mario series, Princess Peach is not a prisoner anymore, enjoying her new life as a kart racing driver, or a football player. But even today, some boys, or girls like me, might feel still uncomfortable to play along with her. Because she classically dresses in pink, or she doesn’t look powerful enough or smart to be a player, or she’s different from boy characters, etc… In the less-developed country, it easily happens. Then, adults must teach them about it. That uncomfortableness is not related from her sex, gender, or outfits. That comes from invisible “inequality” surrounding her. Don’t misunderstand or confused these two. If someone needs help, save them from that “inequality”. The evil might not be the shape of King Koopa. It might be living in your heart. Defeat it.

I’ve never felt empathy to Princess Peach. However, that should not be my excuse not to care her. Well, personally I don’t like a pink dress. But I pay respect what she wears. Well, she and I have only few things in common, maybe we can’t be friends. But yet I’m ready to fight for her rights, if she were portrayed as a victim of any inequality. No excuses. The fact is; No one should be abducted and assaulted by anyone. If that happens, that’s the matter of us all. Because we are active game-changers of this whole real world.

Defeat the true enemy, to save Princess Peach. (OGAP-002) was originally published in Otaku Girl And Proud on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Since yesterday Minovsky posted these tweets below. Hannah asked my opinion about it:

“Why criticize sexism/racism/homophobia in Japanese media? That’s their culture,” as if there aren’t also voices in Japan challenging these.
https://twitter.com/MinovskyArticle/status/855099689473060865

I’m on the lookout for other counter-culture voices in Japan with full confidence that they exist. I’ll link as many as I find.

Some Americans believe that there are no Japanese people who have problems with the way manga is. It’s good to know a JP critic who does.

and I answered:

True. We Japanese have a long history of the quiet, invisible war against gender inequality. It might not seem like actions, but exists.
https://twitter.com/okadaic/status/855450906892095488

As one of Japanese high educated women, and as an otaku/fujoshi and proud, I really felt it necessary to express my complex feelings for Shonen/Shojo Manga. So this article series gonna be like a never-ending real-time draft, just preparing for the logical explanation. I’ll keep trying.

Let me introduce myself. I’m originally from Tokyo, born and raised, graduated and worked there for years. I authored two autobiographies and one co-authored book. Now I moved to New York City and working as a graphic designer, struggling with my terrible English in every single moment.

Our co-authored book “Otoko No Karada Ha Kimochi-Ii” (Males, enjoy your sexualities) is a casual approach for gender studies through Pornography in Japan. One of my co-authors Hitoshi Nimura is a famous game-changing adult movie (=porn) director. The other, Junko Kaneda is a sociologist/feminist and the most trustworthy expert of the Yaoi/Boy’s Love field. We three also interviewed a couple of gay people living their real lives in Japanese society.

Discussing gender issues is not only for feminists who clearly know what is the matter and why, but also for any other people who never imagined that by their own. So in this book we discussed about sexism, sexual inequality, homosociality, Yaoi fandom as a counter movement for men’s stories, exchangeabilities of gender roles, etc. Japanese males often say that it’s uncomfortable to being watched at as objects of desire… while many of them love Hentai porn and treat females like things. If this unbalance happens because of masculinities, we must release our minds together from the same prison of sexism. Hope our book will be published worldwide and become an eye-opener to you.

Well, I’m not a researcher, or a critic for this field. I don’t know much about what I don’t know. And of course, my opinion doesn’t represent all female Otaku in Japan. Truly.

I just express myself. I just speak a lot about what I love, and who I am. My complex feelings. My love and hate for Shonen/Shojo Manga stories. Internal argument why I love “Bromance” so much and at the same time hate “Homosociality” so much. My little experience for searching my own sexuality. Or how I conquered my trauma to dress feminine. What to say when people surprised at me enjoying Boy’s Love along with my male spouse. Once in my childhood I wanted to be a boy, but now I found it was not true. I’m just a female Otaku, not a girl, not yet an old lady, love to be a loud-speaker to public.

We Japanese have a long history of the quiet, invisible war against gender inequality. It might not be seen like actions, but exists. Next I’m going to write about my personal experience since childhood, through my favorite Manga contents; Osamu Tezuka, Year 24 group, The Rose of Versailles, Saint Seiya and other Weekly Shonen Jump comics, CLAMP and 1990’s culture, and so on. To describe a part of “The quiet invisible war”.

Self Introduction (OGAP-001) was originally published in Otaku Girl And Proud on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

As I wrote, I’m going to study abroad. Since last fall, I’ve been attending a prep school in Japan, to take a credit transfer system for my preferred college. Last month, I finally submitted my application to the college.

My major is graphic design. So I made a creative assignment and did a presentation for the professors. I think it was not so bad, because my speech was all prewritten. The professors seemed to be very satisfied with my design assignment. However, at the after-party, they told me that I should practice English more and more.

I’m really poor at improvisation in English. Therefore, my score of TOEFL tests always drops mainly on the speaking section. Though I’ve already cleared the border score enough to skip the ESL class, I’m still very anxious about my English skills.

After taking advice from my professors in January, I started to go to an English conversation school. It’s called ‘Eikaiwa’ school in Japanese. It’s very popular in Japan, and many Japanese people pays too much to learn English conversation, without purpose. I’ve always thought that ‘Eikaiwa’ schools are waste of time and money.

But I can’t say anything anymore. I go there about twice a week. I changed my mind and think like this: It’s the same as a hospital. I got a sick of choking and this is my rehab. Get well soon and leave from here soon. Staying too long and paying too much is stupid. I know I need some medicine or a surgery, I know my doctors are so excellent, but I wanna discharge this hospital soon!

Now I’ve become less afraid to speak English. On the other hand, I’ve become very lazy about the grammer of my English.

That’s why I’m here writing again.

2–28–2015 / Me and my ‘Eikaiwa’ school was originally published in ESL essays and more on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

I love all kinds of live performances, especially musicals. In Japan, a lot of musicals are imported from West End or Broadway after having been translated into Japanese lyrics.

Everytime I go to the theaters of West End or Broadway, I always think that the original productions are the best and brightest. Some of Japanese translated plays are no more than substitutes for the original English ones. Sadly, some of dubbed versions in Japanese plays are often killing the original lyrics.

However, I’d like to recommend some Japanese performers. They only sing in Japanese, but I believe “YOU’ll get a kick out of THEM”. My favorite actors in Japanese musicals are Takeshi Kaga and Zen Ishikawa.

Takeshi Kaga is one of the most famous actors in Japanese musicals. He has played many of title roles and principals in musicals such as Jean Valjean and Javert in ‘Les Miserables’, the Phantom in ‘Love Never Dies’, ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’, ‘Jekyll & Hyde’ and ‘Cyrano de Bergerac’. He is also well known as “Chairman Kaga”, who is a fictitious host in the TV program “the Iron Chef”. He represented Japan at the international performance of ‘Les Miserables’ 10th Anniversary Concert.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPpkTgMbhRU

Zen Ishikawa is popular as a splendid supporting actor. He is now in his prime. Nobody would have imagined that a young schoolboy Marius in ‘Les Miserables’ could be played perfectly by a 46-year-old man, but he did. There is no role he can’t play. He has played the Knights, the Emperors and the Kings. He has played sons and fathers. He has played white-haired old men and even a handsome stag beetle! And all of them each have a different and beautiful voice. I have always admired him for his wide range of vocal performances.

http://www.pideo.net/video/nicovideo/9c2715500b128db4/

You may also pay notice to Yu Todoroki, who is a male-playing actress on stage and a commissioner in Takarazuka Revue Company. Takarazuka is a very unique company consisting of only female actors. It has 101 years history, and is now in a symmetric position of Kabuki ( the Japanese traditional entertainment consisting of only male actors ). The troupe members are divided into male-role-players or female-role-players, and they follow a strict hierarchy from principal to ensemble. Yu Todoroki is at the top of the top in the troupe. She is a feminine woman at off stage, but on stage, she changes into various male characters embodying dandyism. She is the perfect Man, during performance as Rhett Butler or Julius Caesar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRJhj1LLHew

While writing this article, I realized yet again I’m bewitched by the actors with admirable dramatic changing. They present the extraordinary experience which appears and exists only on stage. Everybody wants to sing and dance, or change into someone else, it’s impossible for us to do that in everyday life. They, however, can do that — perfectly and dramatically. That’s why I love musicals.

11–15–2014 / I get a kick out of musicals! was originally published in ESL essays and more on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.