Life always looks slightly different on Instagram. Because somehow we get to portray it exactly the way we want to, with a filter! You know, sometimes not the way things went but the way we wanted them to.

And sure, Instagram would have you believe motivation is sexy. In reality? It’s mostly me bribing myself with coffee so I’ll leave the house.

It’s been beautiful getting back to workout and pole (especially while recovering from surgery), but also quite challenging. These past few weeks have been equal parts struggle and joy and I’m good with that.

I constantly get asked “How do you stay so motivated?”

And the truth is, I’m not.

My answer probably won’t help you because I really don’t need to be motivated to go to the gym.

I just need a gym to go to the gym!

(I warned you that this might not be helpful :D)

The gym is my playground! It’s my ‘me’ time, my fun time, my play time.

I play music I like, wear nice sporty outfits, dance around as I go about lifting and pushing, mostly weights :D. Also, I love progress! I love seeing if I can go a little heavier than the week before and if I’m maybe even 1% stronger. It’s magical to me! Especially when you start seeing the results (and yes, that takes time but it’s SO worth it!)

I wasn’t always like this, but I’ve trained myself to be because it aligns with what I want out of my life.

I think instead of figuring out how someone stays motivated, it would be much better to figure out what you want out of life.

What would you keep doing even if nobody was watching?

I say this because, this is who I am as a person. I genuinely think something fancy I or anyone says to you will not help you unless you know what you want. The same goes for anything in life. Work, relationships etc. What do you want from your life?

I do the same thing almost everyday. I talk to my mom, I read, I write, I go to the gym, I try to get my required protein in (You’d be surprised how much of my brain space this takes up :D) and I drink the same coffee from the same cafe everyday! So much so, that it’s become a funny conversation exchange where I walk in and they tell me my order or start making it before I even ask.

Of course I do many other things as well like dance and draw and hula hoop and spend time with my friends and watch movies.

But if you watched my ‘mostly daily routine’, it’s pretty same. These are my life ‘reps’ haha! (gym humour high five?)

In fact, I think if you saw my life outside of Instagram you’d probably get bored and exhausted. But that’s exactly my point. Instagram glamorises it, but my boring bits are what make me, me. Having said that, I don’t find my life boring or exhausting at all.

Honestly, I love my life. And that’s how it should be. Things you do only need to make sense to you. It doesn’t matter if people don’t get it, you’re not living your life for anyone but you.

If I had to just give you a one line answer I’d say, I do what brings me joy, (whether I post that on Instagram or not) and that’s how I stay motivated.

There are very few things in life that truly test your character.

Breakups.

Job rejections.

Your mom asking you to explain the entire plot of Inception mid-biryani bite.

And then… there’s walking behind someone who’s texting while moving at the speed of glacial heartbreak.

I don’t mean a casual scroll. I mean full-blown “Dear Diary” mode! Thumbs flying, tik tik tik tik tik, head bowed in reverence, like they’re praying to the Gods of WhatsApp. Meanwhile, I’m behind them doing aggressive deep breathing like I’m at a Vipassana retreat gone wrong. I think my blood pressure is giving a TedX talk as I type this even!

Let’s dive in the way they do on their phones, shall we?

The Audacity of The Stroll

Okay! First of all, who gave these people THIS level of public confidence? Brother, this is not your terrace garden walk with Lata Mangeshkar in the background. This is a Mumbai footpath yo. You are one unexpected pothole away from becoming: Breaking News: Man swallows phone while texting on Linking Road.

If you want to stroll, go to Goa. If you’re on the road, keep it moving.

We’re all out here trying to get somewhere (I think. I’m not sure though. Sometimes I feel like people in Mumbai are just running and if you stop and ask them where they’re going, they won’t know. Back to the point though) we’re all trying to get somewhere, jobs, heartbreaks, rebound coffees, or just a decent seat at Boojee cafe that isn’t near the bathroom. There is urgency in the air.

The kind of urgency that says “I haven’t had carbs in six days and I will murder someone for cutting my pace.” So like… look up from your phone and move maybe?

Fast Talkers: The Loudspeakers of the Sidewalk

Don’t even get me started on their cousins: the Fast Talkers.

You know them.

You’ve heard them before you’ve seen them.

Volume set to: I want the entire country to know my chaachi’s divorce update.

They are often pacing, not walking. Having full-blown boardroom-level conversations on the phone in public!

“Arey no bro! Rahul’s feedback is so rubbish! He doesn’t even do his job why’s he telling me to do mine…”

Ma’am, I’m just trying to eat my chia bowl in peace. Why am I now emotionally invested in your office politics?

At this point I know their credit score, their therapist’s number and what they had for lunch. I’ve formed opinions and even taken sides. I’m firmly #TeamRahul (because Ms. Boojee is one decibel away from shattering glass).

The Pavement Olympics

You’d think this was bad enough, but obviously there’s more.

Let’s talk about the ‘Group Walkers’

Four people. One pavement. Lined up like they’re auditioning for So You Think You Can Block.

Why are you walking like you’re hand-in-hand in an H&M ad?

Must you take up the whole road just to discuss Priya’s new boyfriend?

At this point, I’m not walking anymore. I’m navigating. I’m weaving through humanity like it’s a Mario Kart level. I should get points for this.

I deserve a medal. A podium. A small standing ovation from strangers with better spatial awareness.

Okay… zyada hogaya. But that ‘Mr.Bean dance’ you have to do to get through a group of ‘Group Walkers’ atleast deserves a fun background track.

The Rage-Walk Diaries

Rage-walking is now my preferred cardio. 10/10 recommend.

It comes with deep philosophical thoughts like:

• “What is the point of legs if you won’t use them?”
• “How is your phone more active than you?!”
• “Would it be socially acceptable to carry an auto rickshaw horn and blast it right behind them as a warning?”

AND YET! I don’t say anything. I just burn calories through passive-aggressive footwork and the occasional “EXCUSE ME” that’s louder than necessary. <Gold medal in ‘Silent Rage’ goes to meeee!>

Here’s something that I think is very necessary.

How to Not Be a Public Nuisance 101:

1. Walk Like You Have a Purpose — Even if you don’t. Just pretend.

2. Phone Time ≠ Walk Time — Stop. Text. Then move. Multitasking is a lie.

3. Keep Left. Not Center. — This isn’t a political statement. It’s just manners. A Universal law even (it should be)

4. Volume ≠ Confidence — I promise you, we’ll respect you even if we don’t hear you yell.

In Conclusion…

To all the slow walkers, fast talkers, and human barricades of public space…I see you. I respect your right to exist. I just also want to gently shove you into the nearest bush! Lovingly, of course.

Consider this my humble request to humanity.

Always move like there’s a sale at Zara.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope you weren’t walking while reading this because I’ll be so mad at you but so glad you read the post and I can’t deal with these conflicting emotions right now!

And if you haven’t, well then you’re not really here are you? You’re probably out there walking super fast without using your phone! Good on you!!

Remember When Manifestation Was Just Daydreaming?

Once upon a time, we manifested with ‘Vibes’ and vibes alone.

No vision boards. No “11:11”. No 13 step full moon meditations (I don’t know man! Don’t ask me! I’m just damn sure there’s way more out there!)

Just us, staring out of a bus window listening to sad Bollywood songs and dramatically imagining our crush falling in love with us during school assembly.

And somehow?

Life still happened.

We got into colleges we didn’t think we could get into, dated people we definitely didn’t know we could and walked into jobs, cities, and breakdowns like it was all divinely choreographed.

Back then manifestation was just that! Dreaming! And then moving the hell on with our day!

But now Manifestation Culture is where ‘Vibes’ meet Burnout!

It seems like manifestation has become a full-time internship. Unpaid, of course.

You’re not just asking the universe for something.

You’re:

• Meditating with one hand while journaling with the other,

• Setting alarms for ‘angel number check-in’s’ ,

• And having a panic attack if you accidentally say “I’m broke” out loud.

Like Oops! I guess I’ve just delayed my abundance by 7 to 10 business years.

We’ve officially made wishing — EXHAUSTING!!!

Here’s the plot twist nobody talks about:

The Universe Heard You. It’s Just… Weird!

Most of the time your manifestation does arrive…just in ugly packaging (and by that I mean in a way that you didn’t expect don’t get all up on my case about using the word ‘Ugly’. Geez!)

You asked for ‘Growth’?

Congratulations! You’re now single, jobless, and living with a cat in a city that smells like betrayal and pani puri water.

You asked for a ‘Soulmate’?

Boom! Alexa play ‘Be Humble! B*tch Sit Down’

Cue the emotionally unavailable guy who ghosts you everytime things get too real but magically finds his way back when you’re trying to move on.

You wanted ‘Freedom’?

Great! Welcome to freelancing. You’re free to spiral at 3pm on a Wednesday in your pyjamas while eating leftovers from two days ago.

But Hey!

This is the life YOU ordered.

But like an Apple agreement you just didn’t read the fine print before smashing, ‘I accept’!

Micromanaging the Universe.

We’ve all been there and it’s embarrassing (I’m still here. Send Help!)

If you find yourself saying things like:

• “I think my Chakras were off that day.”

• “Maybe I didn’t ‘BELIEVE’ hard enough.”

• “Should I try writing a list?”

Then, Babe, you’re not manifesting. You’re spiralling… but with glitter?! Cute!

Ok Stop!

The Universe is not Santa Claus.

You don’t need to be “good” to get what you want.

You just need to be present, willing, and a little delusional. (read ‘little’ as ‘VERY’ and if you’re GenZ read this line as ‘Delulu is the only Solulu’)

We’re all trying to play God’s secretary while forgetting that the best shit in life came from chaos, accidents and that one decision you made out of boredom or heartbreak.

You Wanted Magic But You Got Reality

(Still Magic, BTW)

So here’s the deal. (Spoken like the true self proclaimed professional that I am)

Maybe your life doesn’t look like the Pinterest board you curated during lockdown.

Maybe the vision you had was hotter, shinier, or at the very least, less confusing.

But that doesn’t mean this isn’t it.

The job you lowkey hate? Teaching you boundaries.

The friend who left? Making space.

The heartbreak? Breaking your ego more than your heart and maybe that’s what actually needed healing? (I think I’m just hoping at this point)

Sometimes the Universe doesn’t grant wishes. It grants reminders. Reminders of who we were. Who we are. Who we were always meant to be.

And this version of your life: messy, chaotic and oddly specific…is still a gift.

Just one that didn’t come with a bow on top or a return option.

Final Thought: You’re Already In It!

Stop tracking your manifestation. This ain’t Swiggy.

Stop asking the algorithm for signs. (I know this one’s hard if you’re like me and think ‘everything is a sign’. I’m trying to learn that it might not be and that’s okay.)

You’re already living the life you once begged for.

No, it’s not perfect. (I mean, what is? We need a whole other blog post about embracing imperfections as perfections. But let’s save this ‘next level’ optimism for another day!)

Yes, it came with side quests you didn’t expect.

But it’s YOURS!

Surprise, M*therfcker!

This is it!

Your manifestation!

Embrace the chaos. Embrace yourself. Embrace all that was and all that will be!

Embrace. Allow. Accept.

And Dance.

TREAT ‘LIFE’ LIKE MUSIC AND DANCE THROUGH IT ALL!

Messy beats, off-key notes, surprise drops… Vibe with it anyway.

And soon you’ll be smiling again. Maybe for longer this time.

You’ve survived cringe texts, questionable haircuts, awkward first dates, and that one year where everything felt like a Mercury retrograde (there’s so many! At this point, I’ve lost track which one!)
So trust me, you can handle this too!

Now go dance in your damn kitchen like you mean it! MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY ONLY (yah! I can GENZ speak too!)

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and may all your manifestations come true, preferably WITHOUT A PLOT TWIST!

And if you didn’t then may ALL your manifestations come true! <insert evil laugh>

Let’s get one thing straight! Coffee is sexy. The aroma, the taste, the feeling of holding your mug and taking that first sip…MMM! It makes my day!

I like my coffee extra hot. Not warm. And definitely not lukewarm. Nothing about me likes anything lukewarm — not beverages, not people, and especially not feelings.
I want it scalding. The kind of hot that destroys your taste buds on impact.
Do I regret it? Every time.
Do I still do it again the next day? Without hesitation.
Because apparently, I enjoy a little pain with my routine.
Which, now that I think about it… is exactly how I date.
My last relationship? Looked amazing, felt electric, and left me emotionally numb by lunchtime.
So yeah — burnt tongue, burnt heart. Same energy.
And honestly, you can tell a lot about someone by their coffee order. Just like you can tell a lot about their love life — if you look closely and squint through the steam, the red flags, and the oat milk foam.

Let’s unpack this further, shall we? Because this espresso-fueled chaos might be the only form of self-awareness I have left.

Black Coffee: The Hardcore Commitment Type

You like it strong. Straight. No fluff, no foam, no emotional buffer.
This is the love language of people who don’t mess around — your coffee and your relationships come with intensity and intention.

You’re the type who says “Let’s talk about this” instead of playing mind games.
You want connection, not confusion. Eye contact, not breadcrumbing.
You don’t believe in “casual.” You believe in caffeine and clarity.

Honestly, you might be intimidating… but only to people who’ve mistaken lukewarm nonsense for love.

Iced Latte: Chill Until You’re Not

You look good. You sound good. You’ve got effortless energy and excellent lighting in all your dating app pics.
But one missed text and you’re spiraling into an existential crisis.

Also, iced coffee in winter? That’s not edgy — it’s escapism.
Just like that seven-month “situationship” where you never met their friends but they knew your dog’s birthday.

Frappuccino: Sugar Highs & Romantic Delusion

You’re here for the vibe, not the substance. You fall in love based on Spotify compatibility and shared memes.
You think deep emotional connection is texting “I miss you” after watching the same TV show.

You met on Hinge, bonded over astrology, and broke up because Mercury went into retrograde and they didn’t text back for four hours.
Your love life is basically dessert — with a side of chaos and poor decision-making.

Decaf: Functioning but Dead Inside

You’re in a relationship that’s stable. Predictable. Technically… fine.
You don’t fight. You don’t flirt. You just… exist.

You tell people “we’re in a really good place right now,” but your eyes say “send help.”
This isn’t a love story — it’s a calendar invite.
You’re emotionally flatlining and calling it peace.

Espresso Shot: The 3-Week Whirlwind

The chemistry? Immediate. The connection? Intense.
The ending? A full-blown crash followed by over-analysis and dramatic text drafts at 2 AM.

You met, you combusted, you shared a playlist, and then — poof.
They disappeared faster than your self-esteem after their “we need to talk” text.

You’re still recovering. Your therapist knows their name.

Pumpkin Spice Latte: The Seasonal Love

You fall in love between October and November.
You cuddle in oversized sweaters, take cute selfies, and say things like “I just love how cozy we are together.”

Then December hits, and they go on a solo trip to “find themselves” and never return.
They ghost you, but you still check their Instagram.

You knew it was seasonal. You still got attached.

Cappuccino: The Safe Bet Trying to Be Spontaneous

You like a little adventure… but only if it fits neatly between yoga and your 10 PM bedtime.
You want mystery but also a clear agenda. You crave passion but not if it means ruining your sleep cycle.

In love, you go for someone “nice,” then spend 6 months wondering why you’re bored.
You think you want chaos, but panic when someone texts “U up?”

You’re one foam heart away from a full-blown identity crisis.

Extra Hot: “It’s Me. Hi! I’m the Problem. It’s Me.”

I like things dramatic. Over-the-top. Almost unmanageable.
Do I always burn myself? Absolutely.
Do I learn? Never.

Because somewhere between the first sip and the emotional destruction, I convince myself this time, it’s different.

Spoiler Alert : It never is. But it feels like it.
<Insert big laugh/cry — You’re not sure which one it is at this point>

Which is also how I justified dating someone who thought “emotional availability” was a type of delivery option.

Final Sip: At Least Coffee Doesn’t Ghost You

Here’s the truth: coffee may hurt me, but at least it’s consistent.

To it’s credit, I can make one whenever I like. ( Wonders if that could be true of relationships as well)

It doesn’t breadcrumb me with “maybe” texts and mixed signals.
It doesn’t view my Instagram story, then vanish for four weeks.
It shows up. Hot. Honest. Loyal. And delicious.

And if I burn my tongue again? That’s on me.

Maybe the key to love is simple:
Find someone who treats you like your barista does — remembers your order, gets the temperature right, and doesn’t gaslight you into thinking you asked for decaf.

Until then, I’ll take mine extra hot.
With a side of emotional damage, please.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope you find your perfect coffee, maybe one that doesn’t burn your tongue.

And if you haven’t… well then you’re probably enjoying your coffee at the moment and there’s nothing better than that now, is there? :)

Remember the good ol’ days when Houdini was the king of disappearing acts? These days, it seems everyone’s an amateur magician, wielding the art of ghosting with unmatched skill. Ghosting is where someone exits your life faster than you can say “Abra-cadabra”. At this point, it isn’t just a dating phenomenon; it’s an Olympic sport. And honey, we’re all competing, whether we want to or not. Some of us mere spectators.

For the lucky few that don’t know, Ghosting is when someone you’ve been texting, dating, or engaging in mild flirtation with vanishes like the last slice of pizza at a party. One minute they’re sending goodnight texts with heart emojis, and the next, it’s radio silence.

I assume the term ‘Ghosting’ was coined because of the abruptness of the ending. That it’s kind of like the other person died and turned into a ghost. Which honestly is the only acceptable reason according to me for someone to stop talking to me that abruptly, is if they actually died. My only problem is, why is this ‘Ghost’ now online on Whatsapp? Blue ticks and all.

If you come to think of it, ‘Ghosting’ is a pretty offensive term to ACTUAL GHOSTS. Because they stick around! In fact their main feature is that they stick around so much that they haunt you. It’s pretty much part of their job description.

I’m sure there are some real offended ghosts in the actual ‘Ghost Community’ who are also really mad at these people for pretty much ruining their reputation.

The Modern Ghost however isn’t a supernatural entity in a bedsheet; it’s the person you matched with on Bumble who swore they were into “deep conversations and long walks.” Spoiler alert: the only thing deep about them was the ditch they dove into after your third date.

While your messages sit on “Delivered” like an unanswered prayer and your thoughts spiral into a vortex of, “It’s not me; it’s them…but also, maybe…could it be me? … No, no it’s definitely them”, let me help you out.

With the complete non expertise of someone way too confident after having experienced this once in my life last year, I’m going to share this non expertise with you. You’ve been warned, but also, you’re welcome.

The Ghoster’s Toolkit

Ghosters operate with precision and the tools of their trade include:

• The Fade-Out: Gradual, like your favourite pair of jeans after 50 washes. They’ll take longer to reply until you realise you’ve been texting yourself for 2 weeks while constantly making excuses for them. Your Whatsapp at this point looks greener than a cricket stadium during monsoon season. Congratulations, you’re now in a committed relationship…with your own delusions.

• The Insta-Ghost: Constantly watches all your stories, possibly even has the audacity to like your posts. At this point as a ghost the only thing commendable about them is their commitment to lurking. Your take away from this is that they definitely have functional thumbs, just not to text you back.

• The Houdini: Vanishes entirely. No texts, no stories, no last-seen on WhatsApp. Just poof! Even the FBI’s ‘Most Wanted’ lists have more updates than this person.

Why Do People Ghost?

Honestly who knows! Most of the time they don’t know themselves BUT if I have to take a stab at it (not literally…yet!) *adjusts halo and continues typing*

Here are a few obvious reasons I could come up with:

• Lack of Emotional Maturity: Why communicate when you can avoid confrontation like a pro?

• Overthinking Gone Wild: “What if I tell them it’s not working and they write a novel about me?” (in this case, a blog post. Oh! The horror of unnamed, generalised words!)

• Netflix and No Chill: They were never ready for anything more than a two-episode commitment.

• Social Media Is Free Therapy: Because clearly posting cryptic stories is easier than sending a text saying, “Hey, this isn’t working.”

TUT-TUT

My biggest problem with Ghosting

Apart from the obvious, it’s the absolute nuggets of ‘wisdom’ you get to hear from people after you’ve been ghosted. These include classic hits like “No response is a response” , “Don’t take it personally” and my all time favourite “There’s nothing wrong with you, the problem is with them” and I have to be honest, there just isn’t enough eye roll space at the back of my head to deal with any of these!

What’s better than Ghosting?

Brutal Honesty. And you know who has that? KIDS!

Hear me out.

I never thought I’d find myself advocating for children but their brutal honesty (mostly out of innocence, not always though) is a quality I now find admirable.

I was once called a ‘Bitch’ by a 5 year old and while I was extremely taken aback, I was sure the kid had no idea what the word meant. I then went on to ask the child if he knew what ‘Bitch’ meant and he promptly turned around and said, “Ya! You!”. (I’ll let that sink in while you imagine my expression which can only be described as that of a ‘Shocked Clown’)

While I was extremely SHOOKETH by this interaction I had to give it to the kid’s keen sense of observation and brutal honesty. I was mostly just annoyed that he knew me better than my therapist.

Am I saying that I’d rather be called a ‘Bitch’ by a 5 year old than being ghosted by an adult?

Well, yes.

But what I’m also saying is that kids have the balls to say what most full grown adults can’t and I think that can only mean that children are way more mature than Ghosters.

I must add that this particular kid also went on to call me ‘Aunty’ (at least he knew how to respect his elders). So now I’m politely referred to as ‘Bitch Aunty’.

How to Handle Ghosting Like a Champ

Don’t. I mean it.

You’re probably going to want to:

1. Make excuses for them — “Oh maybe they’re busy”, “Maybe their goldfish tried to commit suicide again” “Maybe they dropped their phone in the ocean” — Honey if they can’t come up with their own excuses, you definitely don’t need to.
2. Spiral — Overanalyse every interaction you’ve had with them. “Do I use too many emoticons while texting?” “Is my GIF game too aggressive?” “Is it because my laugh is louder than a hyena’s?” — Maybe you did all of those things and maybe you didn’t. The point is, you’re YOU — fully emoji-abundant, GIF-happy, and hyena-laughing. If they couldn’t handle that, they were clearly built for silent mode.
3. Send them a full blown essay over text — Look anyone whose sent an essay over text never really plans to. One minute you’re typing, and the next you’re Haruki Murakami — lost in a surreal, never-ending monologue that no one asked for. Seriously though, at this point you’ll only be adding to their vocabulary. Don’t waste your words on someone who has none.

And neither of these will do you any good. So don’t do any of it.

Just let them float away like a balloon at a kid’s party where you’re left staring up in awe, mouth open, until reality smacks you in the face with the bigger question: Why are you at a kid’s party?

(Honestly I never promised to make sense, if at all then this was an assumption on your part and we really need to start questioning those life choices)

Parting Thoughts (Unlike Your Ghoster)

Here’s a plot twist: Ghosting is a blessing in disguise. Who wants to date someone who can’t handle basic communication? Consider this an emotional Marie Kondo moment — they didn’t spark joy and the Universe took them out because let’s face it judging by our track record , ‘decision making’ might not be our strongest suit.

While Ghosting is cowardly, sure, it’s also a stark reminder that communication skills are rarer than matching socks. So next time you’re ghosted (I hope there isn’t a next time though) send a silent thank-you note to the Universe for dodging a bullet. You’re more likely to have a meaningful conversation with that actual ghost under your bed than this one.

If you’ve made it this far, congrats on having better commitment skills than half the dating pool and thank you for not Ghosting my blog post.

And if you haven’t…well, well, well… looks like we have another Ghoster in our midst.

A while back I found myself just living life. I was doing things I liked and loved but I didn’t seem to love life anymore. I didn’t even realise it until I started loving my life again.

Nothing changed. I’m doing the same things, things I like and things I love but I feel a sense of joy now. One I haven’t felt in ages. If I’m happy, you can see it in my eyes. If I’m hurt, you can see it in my eyes. Sometimes you can see a little bit of both because what’s life without duality and where’s joy without sadness?

I do basic things on most days. I cook a basic meal, eggs, dal chawal, protein protein hey Bhagwan there’s never enough protein, I go to the gym, I read, I write, I write some more and then I try to write even more. If it’s the weekend I might meet some friends for a drink or take a rest day, watch a movie, I talk to my mom everyday, all the time (if not on the phone then I make notes in my head so I remember everything I have to tell her)

I post a lot of this on my insta stories, sometimes I’m not sure why. I mostly enjoy having this online diary of sorts. I sometimes wonder why would anyone want to see what I do in a day, but then it’s not about anyone else for some reason and I guess because it’s social media in a way it must be? I really haven’t figured this part out.

Then I’ll get a text from a stranger, something on the lines of ‘it’s amazing to see you do things you love and I’m so inspired’ or ‘I was inspired by you and started going to the gym’. I feel happy but I’m always surprised by how we have no idea what difference we’re making.

I recently watched a documentary shot by a friend and there was a mention in it of the ‘fig wasp’. I was amazed by how there would possibly be no figs if it wasn’t for this tiny little creature flying around doing its own thing while unknowingly contributing to the occurrence of figs. I doubt the Fig wasp knows. I doubt it even knows that we call it that. What a big thing this little creature does without even knowing what it’s doing. And then I started to think that we’re all like that little wasp. We have no idea the difference we make or the lives we touch. We just go about our day and do our thing.

At some point, somewhere over these past few months, on a very mundane day where I made myself a very basic meal, I took a bite of my dal chawal and karela and it tasted so delicious. This is a meal I’ve had so many times, mostly made by my mom. This one I made for myself and it tasted so good, so clean, so fresh. In that moment life felt so good. I don’t know what changed that day but I sort of fell in love with my life again if that makes any sense. I don’t know when I loved it before and I don’t know when I stopped but I knew in that very moment that something was back. I had been sad for a while and I suddenly felt immense joy alongside it. And I felt pure bliss.

I also realised that we keep shunning away certain emotions or keep trying to get rid of them or get through them fast, but there’s no such thing. But what I did realise is that joy can be felt through all of it. You can be doing everything or nothing, the most basic things or the most extraordinary things and love your life either way. The love is what’s constant, the rest is temporary.

I don’t know what changed but I fell in love with life and that changed everything.

January 1st is the annual Olympics of emotional overkill. You’re either grinning from ear-to-ear, believing this is finally your year (bless your optimism), or sitting in bed with a blanket burrito, wondering how another year sped by while you were still buffering. There’s no room for the lukewarm here, and honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve always been a fan of extremes. Extreme happiness, extreme sadness, extreme EVERYTHING. Give me boiling or freezing, but don’t hand me lukewarm — it’s the personality equivalent of room-temperature chai: awkward and vaguely offensive and honestly eww.

Speaking of extremes, my ex was a master of them. Hot one day, colder than a Coke straight out of the freezer the next. Do I miss him? No. But do I miss the chaos? Maybe, just a little.

The New Year has this uncanny ability to crank up the emotional volume. Let’s talk about the two camps of people it creates:

The ‘New Year, New Me’ Squad

This group wakes up on January 1st like they’ve been reborn. Resolutions are made. Vision boards are crafted. Gym memberships are purchased in a frenzy, as if running on a treadmill for 20 minutes will erase three years of pizza-fueled bad decisions. And you know what? I’m all for it!

They (honestly by ‘they’ I mean ‘me’) post inspirational quotes like, “This year, I will find myself.” Babe, you’re right there. Just look in the mirror. Or better, “This is my glow-up year!” Okay, but can we not shout that into the void every January? Some of us are still recovering from last night’s questionable cocktail decisions.

Really though, can we talk about the obsession with green smoothies? It’s like January 1st transforms people into the human embodiment of kale. If I see one more story captioned, “New Year, Clean Me,” I might have to clean my feed instead.

The Existential Crisis Brigade

This squad, again, my people, takes the opposite route. January 1st hits them like a Spotify ad right in the middle of their favourite playlist. Suddenly, the year ahead feels like one giant to-do list, and they’re already behind.

Their inner monologue starts sounding like a Bollywood script:

“Ek aur saal chala gaya aur hum yahin ke yahin.” <Insert intense thoughts about ‘Waqt ki raftaar’ ‘Zindagi ka guzarna’ ‘Life ki race’ vaghera vaghera>

The resolutions are just as intense as the anxiety.

• “This year, I’ll stop overthinking.” — No you won’t, Babe. And neither will I.

• “This year, I’ll be more present.” — Sure, right after you finish doomscrolling.

And let’s not forget the late-night spiral about how time is an illusion, but also, where did all of it go?

Why I Love This Emotional Chaos (BOTH CAMPS)

The beauty of New Year’s Day is that it forces everyone to feel something deeply, even if it’s just the crushing regret of eating that third plate of biryani at 3 am.

Extreme emotions make you feel alive! They’re messy, uncomfortable, and mostly hilarious (if not in the moment then in hindsight).

Really, what they are is, JUICY! And I love me a juicy emotion! Aakhir woh santra hi kya jisme juice na ho?

Lukewarm, on the other hand, is just…meh. It’s when you text someone “HNY” because you’re too lazy to type it out. It’s when you make vague resolutions like “Be Healthier,” knowing you’ll eat fries for dinner by day three. Lukewarm is the middle seat on a flight — no one wants it, but some people settle for it anyway. (And no, Indigo, don’t think that by also charging for the middle seat you’re giving people a choice. You know what you’re doing.)

My New Year’s Vibe?

This year, AS ALWAYS, I’m skipping the lukewarm. I’ll celebrate the tiny wins like they’re Oscar-worthy and cry over inconveniences like they’re Shakespearean tragedies. (If my food delivery guy brings soggy fries, expect a full-blown eulogy on Instagram stories. Okay maybe not for soggy fries because I kinda like them. Please don’t pretend like you haven’t got drunk and craved Mc.Donald’s fries at 3 am. They’re soggy and we’re here for it!)

Life is more fun when you lean into the extremes. I just cannot and will not deal with half assed emotions! Heartbreak? Give me full on! Love? Give me intense and mazedaar!

Life is my orange and I’m going to squeeze every last drop of juice out of it, as should you!

So here’s to a year of dramatic highs, theatrical lows, and absolutely zero mediocrity.

If you’ve made it this far, Extremely Happy Extreme New Year to you, my friend! And if you haven’t, well then, ‘Luke’ this may be your year but this definitely isn’t your post.

Now excuse me while I sip my coffee. Black, of course. Who has time for lukewarm milkiness?

Have you ever caught yourself apologising to an inanimate object? Like when you bump into a chair and go, “Oh! I’m Sorry!” and then immediately wonder, ‘Wait what’s wrong with me?’

As a ‘Serial Overthinker’, apologising comes naturally to me…and then some overthinking about the apology and then overthinking the overthinking! You get the drift.

Apologies are like the ‘spam emails’ of an Overthinker’s brain. Always too many and most of them are unnecessary. (Yes, there’s still always that one important one that slips into the spam folder somehow. But they’re all there! Send help!) It’s mostly exhausting because it’s like somehow unknowingly you signed up to the ‘Sorry for existing’ Club membership.

And we don’t just apologise, we OVER-APOLOGISE. Dun Dun Dunnnnnn! It’s like we’re part of ‘The Over-Apology Olympics’

Someone bumps into you and what’s your response? “Oh I’m so sorry” … And are you done? Nope!… “I didn’t realise I was in the way”… Are you done now? Nope! Not even close…”are you okay?”….Please stop!

Meanwhile the other person, THE ONE THAT BUMPED INTO YOU is looking at you baffled like ‘B*tch are you okay??!!’

And are you done now? STILL NOPE! Because once they walk away, you’re left replaying the encounter in your head for the next five years wondering if your apology sounded sincere enough? Make it make sense!

Oh! You want to know the best part? (You know I don’t actually mean ‘best’) There are so many more ‘sorry’s’ where that came from!

• “Sorry for the late reply!” — when it’s only been 11 minutes.
• “Sorry I was caught up with something” — why? why can’t you be caught up?!
• “Sorry I was in the shower!” — you’re allowed to bathe dude, calm down!
• “Sorry my voice sounds weird over a voicenote” — Umm… it’s your voice though? Like can you stop apologising for being YOU?
• “Sorry if I seem annoying” — well…you didn’t before you put it that way!
• “Sorry I missed your call I hope you didn’t feel like I was ignoring you!” — Bruh! No one was thinking that till you said it. And you’re allowed to miss calls, you’re not a 24/7 Call Centre.

You know you’re an Overthinker-Overapologiser when you start everything with “Sorry”. Emails? “Sorry for the bother.” Texts? “Sorry for the late-night message.” Asking someone for a favour? “Sorry for even existing in your life.”

“Sorry” This! and “Sorry” That! Geez! By the end you’re apologising for your entire personality! Apologising becomes such a core part of the Overthinker-Overapologiser’s identity that at this point you can even expect it to show up on their birth chart. “Sun in Libra, Moon in Overthinking, Rising in ‘Over-apologising.’”

Meanwhile, there’s always that one person who doesn’t apologise for anything. They forget your birthday, spill coffee on your laptop and ghost you for three months, only to reappear with a casual, “Hi, what’s up?” I envy their audacity.

When did ‘Sorry’ become the default setting and Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?

At it’s core, over-apologising is really about anxiety stemmed from people pleasing which possibly comes from some sort of past or childhood trauma. Of course I can only speak from personal experience because I’m not your therapist (Thank God!)

Whatever it is, it’s exhausting! For the Over-apologiser AND the apologisee (Yes at this point I’m just making up words as I go along just like a truly gifted writer would!)

Overthinkers would rather take the blame for everything than risk someone thinking they’re anything less than perfectly polite.

It’s not rational, of course. Logically, we know the chair we bumped into isn’t going to hold a grudge. But emotionally? Mmm hmmm! That chair knows what we did and we must make amends!

Now since I sound like such an expert on being sorry, “How do we make it stop, Puns?!”, I hear you bark! (Puns is short for my name, ‘Punya’. Keep up man, you’re the one calling me that)

Let me enlighten thee, thou and thous’t (I really find ways to amuse myself)

Next time you feel that overwhelming urge (like the one you get when you’re desperately trying to hold in a pee) to blurt out an unnecessary apology —

Here are few things you can do:

1. What’s my name? – Ask yourself what your name is? Yes, your name. Is it ‘Sorry’? No? Then stop saying, “I’m Sorry” like you’re trying to introduce yourself. Say your own name! SAY IT!
2. Wait for it! — Yup! Don’t say anything and wait for 10 seconds and then start singing loudly “It’s too late to apologise!! It’s too late!! Ohhh oh ohhhhh” Trust me! This is way better than the nonsense apology you were just going to utter and of course way more entertaining if you’re not a good singer.
3. BOTOX — If ‘Sorry’ has just become your filler word, find a new filler word like ‘Cupcake’ or ‘Tequila’ (I’ve basically gone with my cravings at the moment which happen to be cupcakes and tequila for some reason. Don’t judge. Stop feeling sorry for judging.) These new words will be way more fun than borin ol’ ‘Sorry’! I’d love to go around saying, “I’m Tequila!” After all, ‘You are what you eat’ …err..in this case, drink. I’ll take that over an “I’m Sorry” any day! Heck I’ll take Tequila over anything!
4. It’s Opposite Day — Do the opposite! Instead of saying “I’m sorry”, simply say, “I’m not sorry and you can’t make me!” That’ll show the chair for being in the way! (Please don’t do this if you murder someone. Maybe also don’t murder someone? But then again I don’t know your circumstances and we can discuss that another day)
5. “Am I The Drama?” — Break into a line from Shakespeare! Next time you find yourself wanting to apologise when someone else bumps into you, just look at them and go “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” (You can use any dialogue you prefer! I just happen to like this one for it’s dramatic flair and ‘you never know what you might manifest’ and all that)

I’m quite sure atleast one of these will be useful! Also, if you end up trying the last one PLEASE take a video and send it to me!

I’ll leave you with this, my fellow Overthinker-Over Aplogisers, it’s time to retire the unnecessary “Sorry” and save it for when it’s really needed like when you forget your best friend’s birthday or break someone’s heart or miss your Grandmother’s funeral (Actually I think she won’t mind)

But constantly apologising for being a human who takes up space and exists? STOP IT! That chair will be fine and so will you.

If you’ve made it this far, I’m glad!

If you haven’t, well then, I’m Tequila and you probably won’t even get this reference.

Let’s face it — this is a public service announcement!

How many times have you found yourself replying to a birthday wish or a season’s greeting with a “Thank you” (supposedly a conversation ender) only to be trapped into a vortex of questions and a never ending loop of small talk?!

THANK YOU is a conversation ender, not a starter. Come on man! Don’t hit me with a “How have things been?” or “What have you been upto?”

Noooo! Don’t make me regret being polite. Also, on most occasions just accept my ‘Double Tap’ on your Instagram story reply as a Thank you! Because where in this acknowledgement does it say “I want to have a conversation”? If anything a double tap is a clear sign that I DON’T want to have a conversation (unless you’re my crush because in that case I just got nervous, typed out several replies, felt too silly to send them and went with the safe, ‘playing it cool’ Double Tap)

Anyway, today for the sake of humanity and all of mankind and pets (Trust me, no matter what it looks like, they don’t want you to have long conversations with them either. You think those licks you’re getting are reciprocal? Hate to break it to you, but they’re your pet’s version of a Double Tap), let me teach you how to end a conversation and be a better person. You’re welcome!

1. The Happy <Insert Greeting>

“Happy Birthday” “Happy Diwali” “Happy New Year” “Happy etc etc etc” … The only acceptable response to these is a “Thank you” or “Same to you” And once that’s done, guess what?! That’s it! That’s the whole conversation. Do not follow up with a “How’ve you been?” or “What have you been upto?” Not on that day! You have the whole rest of the year to do this. 365 days in a year! Pick one, just not THIS ONE.

Everyone is replying to 40000 wishes and sending their own, don’t try to be on top of the Whatsapp chat on that day! (Don’t even get me started on Whatsapp Group etiquette because that needs to be a whole other post). And no, you won’t look rude if you don’t continue the conversation. You’ll look smart and be forgotten in the next 15 seconds because on these days, that’s how it should be. Let’s call them ‘Goldfish Days’.

2. The Endless Goodbye Loop

Why is just saying ‘Bye’ harder than leaving a 5 year long relationship? Just say ‘Bye’ — ONE ‘Bye’ — and then vanish like a professional! None of this ‘Ok then’, ‘Byeee!’, ‘Bye-Bye!’ It’s not a remix, it’s a goodbye.

Also, spare everybody the lies and don’t continue with a “We should do this again sometime” because we both know that’s not going to happen.

Let it be known that you are a person of honour and end the conversation like a good movie that ends with ‘Fin’ and you’re not left guessing if there’s a scene after the credits (Some movies have ruined us and now we’re almost always expecting it. We’ve all been there, 4 idiots left in a movie theatre standing and staring in silence without reading any of the credits and that one cleaner gathering up left over popcorn knowing we’re idiots and there’s no scene after)

Be nice! In fact, be better! Be like the end of a Soprano’s episode. By that I mean just hold up a black screen and walk away.

3. The Compliment Conundrum

Ever given someone a compliment and instantly regretted it because they started taking you on their downward spiral of “Oh this old thing? Stopppp I look terrible!!!”?? NO, SHEILA! (this is my Indian version of a ‘Karen’) You do not look terrible. I literally just gave you a compliment! YOU LOOK NICE! If you thought you looked terrible would you step out looking like that? Nope! So stop it!

Don’t give me your modesty and your insecurities. Don’t even feel pressured to give me a compliment back! Just ACCEPT it! I know right? You can just TAKE a compliment like that? Yes, you can and without giving the person a Ted Talk.

Just say, “Thank you” and the compliment giver can live in peace and you can take it up with your therapist why you have such a hard time accepting when people say nice things to you and we all live happily ever after!

4. The ‘Good Night’ Test

Somebody says, “Good night.”, you say “Good night” back. Boom! Done! Resist every urge to add the “Sweet dreams”, “Sleep tight” like you’re auditioning for a Disney movie! You’re a person, not a lullaby. Pass that test and we can all rest in peace.

5. The Texting Troublemaker

Texting is the worst for endless conversations, especially those people who can’t stop with the ‘K’s’ and ‘Ok Cool’. I get it, things can come off as blunt over text but that’s why we have emoticons! Here’s a life hack: if you’ve said all you need to say, give a thumbs-up emoji. The thumbs-up is the ultimate ‘I acknowledge you, and now I’m out’ symbol. Just make sure you don’t follow up with a sticker or ‘LOL’ or you’ll be stuck in chat purgatory forever.

So there you have it! Five simple ways to leave a conversation without dragging it out like a long goodbye scene in a soap opera.

If you’ve made it this far, you’re already a better person than you were 2 minutes ago and if you haven’t then I’m guessing you’re already very good at cutting things short. Bye <Thumbs up emoji>

It’s July and I’ve seen so many posts about people being surprised, “Half the year is over” , “Only 6 months left to complete your resolutions”, “Where did this year go?” , it’s bizarre how the only certainty we have is the passage of time yet we choose to be continually amused by it. Shock and awe every time it’s a ‘whole number’ because we’ve set these invisible markers for ourselves.

I’ve never heard anyone say, “Wow we’re 42 days into the year” , because that would be so bizarre! Or would it?

What was that line from ‘Life of Pi’? Irrfan Khan’s character says, “I suppose in the end the whole of life becomes an act of letting go…”

Isn’t that what it is? You’re in the next moment cuz you’ve let go of the previous one, next version of you cuz you’ve let go of the previous one and so on. Yet those in between moments where we hold on so tight because we don’t know another way of being. To live in the moment completely, only in the one you’re in, seems like a few seconds of bliss. I find it everyday before my thoughts wander to the past or the future or that email that needs to be sent or plans for this evening. But continuous bliss would be no bliss at all. Continuous bliss would be no bliss at all. Damn🤯

The constant battle between wanting to hold on while simultaneously letting go. It’s an interesting experience as an aerialist, when you’re setting up to do a drop, the whole process is fun. Getting into it. Pausing. That dramatic moment before you let go. And then the drop! As a performance it’s beautiful to watch. But you’re like 20 ft high! and that moment just before you let go there’s an insane moment where fear and trust meet each other and you just do it! Fear and trust meet each other. It’s so scary and so beautiful. I love doing aerial silk and pole, because if I can’t get to a place mentally, I use it to get there physically first and then my mind knows what to do.

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I don’t think I’ll share anymore but this was from my ‘Morning Pages’ today. The theme seems to be ‘letting go’. Much like in life I don’t choose the theme, it chooses me instead🫶🏻

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If you’ve made it this far, have a nice day. If you haven’t then you’re probably already having one😊