Step 1: Discover Your Motivation — Why though?

💜 Take 10 minutes to reflect and write down why you want to write.
Is it to journal about your day, express your emotions, plan effectively, solve problems, set daily intentions, or release a flood of ideas?

💜Find that one area of life that you want to fuse journaling into

Step 2: Identify and allocate Your Optimal Writing Time — when will you get your script on?

💜 Assess your daily routine and pinpoint when you are most likely to engage in writing, morning, noon, eve, or throughout the day.
💜 Consider incorporating it into an existing activity. E.G. instead of watching Netflix for 2 hours, reduce it to 1.5 hrs and spend the remaining 30 minutes writing. (In fact, it is very common for me to write as I watch a program, as my brain unwinds the thoughts come flooding)
💜 You can even carry a notebook with you throughout the day and jot down your thoughts whenever they arise.

Step 3: Choose the Right Medium (hint: its a physical journal and I have a few (23) for you to choose from 😉 )

💜 Obtain a journal or notebook that makes you rhapsodic at the mere thought of writing in it.
💜 Get a great pen
💜 If digital writing makes you giddy, open a Google Doc or any preferred digital platform.

Step 4: Take Action — Do it, do it, do it

💜 Each day, commit to making writing a non-negotiable activity.
💜 Don’t worry about the quality of your writing; improvement comes with practice and consistency.

At the end of the day, if you desire to write, grow as an individual, and capture your ideas, follow these steps:

💜 Find you’re why
💜 Pick a time to write
💜 Pick a book and get comfortable
💜 DO IT

Remember, the choice to write is an opportunity for personal growth, idea preservation, and self-expression.

Embrace it!

I yack on about the importance of handwriting, #journaling, and creating #efficient systems for life and work with my Fusion Journaling framework.

I offer 1:1 Sessions and Create bespoke journals, notebooks, and workbooks for individuals, #coaches, retreats, and businesses promoting #learninganddevelopment — if you’re interested then drop me a DM via your preferred platform — you can find me by searching @purplereset

I have a selection of 23 journals and notebooks available on Amazon.

We all have these little tugs at our attention that stops us from the 𝗗𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚

It's a stealthy little bugger who will sit and wait. It has time, its only job is to distract you.
Right before you accomplish something, or start a task, it will pounce and distract you.

It may visit in the form of:

🟣 Netflix,
🟣 Family or celebrity drama,
🟣 Self-doubt, criticism — “Who do you think you are?”
🟣 An unusual desire to do chores

Call it whatever you want but it feeds on your fear and is your very own devil. But you can beat it.

3 tips below are a starting point and should give you a great headstart in kicking this pesky devil into touch.

One step at a time — the first step is recognising what resistance is for you — how does your devil present itself?

1️⃣ You cannot change what you don’t 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙

🟪 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆: be honest about when you get distracted and what it is that pulls you away
🟪 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. People who experience high levels of productivity are experts in knowing themselves. Try tracking your time (actual data) to find out where it all goes and what on.
🟪 𝗝𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴. I know everyone talks about journaling but think of it as a productivity log. What distracted you that day? If you remained productive — how and why? What worked for you that day?

2️⃣ 𝙀𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙚: Let’s face it it’s easier not to eat chocolate if there’s none in the house

Once you have identified what distracts look to remove or minimise it.

🟪 Can you re-arrange tasks during the day to enable you to re-focus
🟪 Set yourself up (for success) the day before. Take 10 minutes to tackle anything that will become a distraction come the morning.
🟪Would an accountability partner help you?
🟪Could a coach be helpful to focus you?

3️⃣ 𝗔𝗻 𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 & 𝙨𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙢, 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲, is one that works in harmony with your brain, thoughts, and the way you work and think.

🟪 Control your environment and minimise the amount of times distractions creep in.
🟪 Create a daily routine that supports and provides you the time to dedicate to your chosen task
🟪 Make it flexible to support you rather than restrict you

These are small but impactful tweaks you can make — you don’t need a complete overhaul of your life

I am Purple Reset and I yack on about the importance of handwriting, journaling, and creating efficient systems for life and work. I offer 1:1 Sessions / Group sessions and Create bespoke journals, notebooks, and workbooks for individuals, coaches, retreats, and businesses promoting learning and development

I have a selection of 22 journals and notebooks available on amazon.

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/purplereset

We are not stupid, we know that spending in excess of 7 hours in front of a screen is bad — but we still do it. No shade, these days it’s what we do.

Between responding to clients, checking a project hasn’t nose-dived into a black creator while you were furiously replying to emails that have been stacking up at the speed of light and calming down co-workers before they and I quote “lose their shit”. To the website updates that you have been diligently making, and the landing page that you are building as you learn.

Come Gin o’clock you can not stomach making your watery, stinging, itchy eyes continue looking at the glowy thing on your desk.

So you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You want to be kind to your eyes but you still have the zest to write, read and take notes. You are inspired, you have savvy content and snappy marketing to release into the world.

Enter Purple Reset Notebooks. They allow you to capture your words, in dedicated books, without reducing yourself to an eye-watering mess of running eyeliner and blurred vision.

If that’s not enough to coax you to drag yourself away from the enticing screen here are 3 psychological benefits — backed by bods in white coats — that will surely bring you around to diving headfirst into the analogue practice of writing with a pen on parchment.

1. Invoke intense emotions by handwriting

Virginia Berninger (white coat wearer) notes that the physicality of writing out words involves using pathways within the brain that manages emotion this doesn’t happen when typing.

Meaning we involve emotion more when we handwrite. It can result in a therapeutic experience rather than a dissociative one via the keyboard. Handwriting = therapeutic experience.

2. Supercharge your memory to power up your learning

Your brain is more active, and more “alight” when you carry out a task by hand. You are more receptive to “deep encoding” of new information — layman’s terms: you understand a topic deeply when you physically write as opposed to typing and thus you remember the information better.

White coats also suggest that writing increases cognitive learning. Boom we all want a piece of that pie, right?

3. Produce exceptional creative work

We all want to be more creative, Ya? You may say — “it’s quicker to type, writing takes too loooong” but is quicker better? Not necessarily. Even if we are not happy with what we wrote they are part of the process that leads us to that banging sentence.

We write a poor sentence, we cross out a word, replace it. We may change the structure entirely. It all builds into a guide that we use to ultimately produce our best work. Then you can transfer the very best words, the most impactful sentences to the computer.

So come Gin o Clock do yourself a favour and step away from the glowy thing, grab a notebook, get comfortable and let those words, ideas and thoughts flow.

If you liked this and want more follow me over on Twitter or LinkedIn

If you love notebooks and Journals — I have just launched my own called The Flow which is available on Amazon worldwide: UK Purchases or US Purchase

This piece is in response to Rainar who kindly held me to account following an online conversation, and continued to request via DM’s!! Thank You Raniar.

Rainar posted a tip so simple that it blew me away. The premise is you are struggling to write; the solution you write about what you’re struggling with. Cool right, and so simple it's genius, you can’t write about anything yet you have a topic right there.

If you journal then you will already be doing this, probably. I try and journal every day, just a stream of thoughts. What happened, what was good, what did I struggle with, how I’m feeling. It’s my very own place to have a rant and rave and express frustrations or a celebration of something. Some parts will make you cry, other parts laugh. For me, I can see progress.

Whilst it’s good to get it all out on paper it is equally important to me to take action. Sure spend 10–15mins venting but then what? Spew the same shit tomorrow?

I work across at least two notebooks. One where I vent and let go. The second is my focus list, it comprises all the tasks I need to do, and the research I need to stop the venting. To make progress.

Working through your pain points

For example, I was bitching about my headlines, so I made a note to look into creating better ones.

On another page (more than one) I complain about the amount of time it takes to go from an initial idea to a finished piece. So I refined my process. When it came to pushing my work through Hemmingway and then into the template it took half the amount of time. The headline tutorials I was watching led me to content and copywriting tutorials. Something happened during that stage that resulted in a far quicker process.

Idea generator

When I write like this, I feel unleashed to scribble down all the ideas that come to mind, mostly rubbish but every now and then a little bolt hits me.

When I journaled about the writing I had done for my fitness round-up I was hit with a bolt of an idea — I need to build a fitness tracker. So I did. Then a few days later I was writing away and then another bolt — a video. Which I made.

Ideas flow, the minute you put pen to paper — collect the ideas — work on them, write about them in your journal — generate more ideas, round and round we go. You get the picture.

So if you are stuck on what to write — pick up a (Purple Reset) notebook, get comfortable and write about it, work it through, kick start your idea bolts

Progress

For several pages, through Feb and into March I moaned about not getting shit published. April has seen 2 published long-form articles which were adapted for other platforms. I have repurposed an article I pushed to Twitter and popped it onto LinkedIn. There are 5 active ideas all in different stages, some 1st draft and others ready to format.

When I look through my journal I see lots of moaning for sure. But, I also see the topic of whining change, this goes on week after week. I see progress.

Purple Reset Publishing

I am launching a range of notebooks/journals for writers. If you want to be the first to know when it is on sale sign up here: Purple Reset Publishing

Or follow me on Twitter to join in conversations around journaling, and notetaking — what do you love and what really peeves you off with shop-bought notebooks.

Last year was a ropy one for me. I was enjoying working from home but the company I worked for did not share my values.

I would work across 3 time zones, days running from 7–7pm with no compensation for these longer days. It was EXPECTED. Now, I don’t know about you but during COVID, I started to pay particular attention to what I wanted my life to be like.

I soon realised I no longer wanted to climb the corporate ladder. I no longer wanted to work 12–16hrs for the payment of 8. So I decided to change everything.

What do you want?

Take the time to imagine what you want your life to look like. Visualise yourself in a new role. What kind of team do you want to work with? What do your days look like, How much stress do you want to deal with?

Values

A new company needs to have similar values to yours. For me I value integrity. Doing the right thing. Not misselling or lying to a client. I wanted to be honest when speaking with a client, about the good and the bad so we can get through it together.

What are your values?

Time & hours

Do you want to be office-based? Hybrid or fully remote? I decided that I would only entertain fully remote roles and turned down everything else. I was also keen to have some control over the hours I worked. The role I took offered flexitime — core hours 10–12 and 2–4pm the rest of the time I can do whenever I want. If I want time off during these hours, I deal with any commitments I may have.

Learning opportunities

If you want to learn new skills or refine a hobby are there companies that complement this? Can you learn these skills during your working hours? I looked for a creative role — now I am a digital project manager working on website builds. The company also offers marketing services. I have access to HubSpot training materials and am also Content Management trained in Umbraco.

My role offers me the opportunity to learn as I work, to keep hours pretty much to my own tune, resulting in me not even considering it a “9–5”.

Bonus point to consider

Change your perspective of a “9–5” role: My perspective is that I have one client that pays me for 40 hrs a week.

Think about it, if you were a freelancer and you landed a contract worth 40hr pay a week doing what you enjoy would you turn it down?

Like this and want to see more? Don't mind some swearing? then head over to Twitter and give me a follow Purplereset

Productivity & Self Improvement; Efficiency Aficionado; Notion Templates; Building my intentional life & writing about it

I subsequently fell down a rabbit hole, popping out the other end with a far greater understanding of the brain than I had at school and how it can determine success.

This video provided me with a perspective on what I have done right, and why. Additionally, and more importantly, where I can make improvements going forward.

He provides a concise dialogue packed with useful information. There is no waffle with this guy. Details on where to find him at the end of this.

Let’s start with the sciency stuff….

Sciency Stuff — The Triune Brain Model

The Triune Brain Model was developed by neuroscientist Paul MacLean in the 1960s describes how the brain developed in three stages during evolution. Of course, like many theories, there are people who disagree.

When you research the composition of the brain you will be met with numerous articles, some say 3 parts, others as many as 17.

That said, for this piece, I’m looking at the Triune Model which notes the three stages as:

1. The reptilian brain (Brain stem) covers everything we can not consciously do
2. The mammalian brain — the animal brain — doesn’t comprehend language and works from visual images, pain reward and fear.
3. The neocortex essentially means cover.

We are going to concentrate on the mammalian part of the brain. This is where we make decisions but it doesn’t understand language, as such, we can not speak to. To communicate to this part of the brain we have to use visuals and emotions. To embed our goals we need the mammalian brain to believe that these goals are important to us.

This concept can be best conveyed when we think about a car that we would like to purchase, we research and find images of the car we want. Then, all of a sudden, you see it everywhere — you will have noticed this, maybe not with a car but something else. This is your mammalian brain signalling out that particular thing believing it is important to you, hence it is bringing it to your attention. If you seek negativity your brain will continue to find it. This can explain why some people seem to draw opportunities to them — they are looking for it, luck rarely is the reason.

This is called the Reticular Activating System — what our brain thinks is important it will seek.

A teaspoon of discipline is all it takes

Chase provided me with an alternative perspective on the meaning of discipline. He describes it as “At that moment you are placing your future self’s needs ahead of your own. The benefit in the future is more important to you than the reward in the present”. I have never really thought of discipline in this way. I have always had pretty good discipline but never from the viewpoint of doing something for my future self.

He goes on to note that most failures can be attributed to future self-neglect. Deciding on fast food over healthier choices, then getting upset when you jump on the scales. Putting off an assignment to the last minute, resulting in unnecessary pressure.

Do you put your current desires first? Or do you consistently think of your future self?

Like it or not what you are doing right now is either setting yourself up for failure or success in the future.

Now to turn discipline into a habit you simply need to be disciplined at the beginning you then draw on FEAR to make it a habit. When you see people consistently go to the gym or consistently put out content they are not displaying discipline they are showing a habit. They used discipline and FEAR to build a superhighway of neurons by consistently doing something over and over this forms your habit.

So good news, a teaspoon of discipline is all that it takes to build a habit — but we have to combine it with FEAR.

How to use FEAR to build your superhighway to form habits and make them routine

Of course, FEAR is an acronym I am not suggesting you live in fear!

• Focus — making something so important to yourself that you are present and focused — think vision boards or keeping a picture of that car you want in your office or as a screen saver
• Emotional involvement is required in order to make the actual change — remember the mammalian brain needs emotion to understand something
• Agitation — mixing things up to make the mammalian brain pay attention. to recognise that things are changing
• Repetition — the more you do something the stronger the neurons will bond together — building a superhighway which in turn becomes automatic.

Therein lies the process to turn a habit into a routine, part of your life. You no longer have to rely on constant discipline.

A hack that can actually work for you — How to hack your mammalian brain

1. Make your goals visual — induce the reticular activating system
2. Make your goals emotional — By having visuals in constant view you can build the emotional attachment to the goal
3. Change your routine — introduce agitation — get up earlier, mix up your day where you can — send the signal to your brain that shits about to change
4. Build your superhighway — repeat over and over until your actions become automatic

A guide to the type of goals should you set

During the video 4 main categories are described and impact each other. Within these you can have 3–4 goals:

1. Brain — if your brain is not healthy then quite frankly this will impact every other goal you have
2. Body — it’s your vehicle to achieve the goals. You carry out every goal with your body — look after it
3. Business — for me this is more focused on my side endeavours and what I want to achieve
4. Behaviour — where you focus more on yourself, do you need to schedule time for a certain goal, do you need to hire a coach? Building your mindset and constantly improving. Do you need to carve out more family time or time for yourself

1 essential tip to achieve your goals — Beyond the science

Just one tip is offered here — Journalling. You can not manage what you can not measure.

Record your daily habits, routines, and thinking i.e. are you thinking of your future self. A journal that contains your everyday life will bring you awareness and the more awareness you have the more control you will have over your behaviour. Make it visual, emotional, sensory-rich, and repetitive.

Measuring for some people is a given — but let’s take a quick look — are your pages as visual as they could be.

• Do you have additional sensory-rich visuals around your home?
• Can you pull together a visual 2022 book, piece of paper or pinboard in a place where you always look?

I know for sure I could do with some more visuals adding to my pages and potentially my office.

How does this compare to my own goals?

On reviewing my goals they can pretty much be fitted within these main headers.

• Brain — Some are interlinked such as the learning goal, this would be keeping my brain active, as well as contributing to the business goals. That said, I think I need to be more specific and list out want to learn.
• Body — I have a new exercise routine first thing in the morning. I also keep an eye on the amount of water I have and whilst I am not strict on food I do ensure that I eat a balanced diet without feeling like I’m on a diet (dieting has never worked for me). I may look to introducing more meat-free days.
• Business — for me my aims cover what I want to achieve personally with my writing, product building etc. I may look to bringing in some work goals or focus areas
• Behaviour — represented by my 24hrs — in particular, the time I want to spend on writing, learning and product building. Additionally, I am looking at courses that will help me improve over the next year.

Do you want to bring more FEAR into your life?

I would love to have a conversation about these ideas, I find it fascinating.

If you also feel this way and want to chat then head over to Twitter and send a DM or alternatively email purplereset@gmail.com

Research — further reading: Chase Hughes https://www.chasehughes.com/

I have seen the posts and I’m pretty sure anyone in the productivity realm has also seen posts declaring that you should cut down on Netflix and put that time to a side hustle. I don’t disagree BUT I enjoy a good TV show and I don’t want to be embarrassed by it. Now, if you are watching TV to the detriment of other tasks then maybe you need to cut down a little. But this is not what I am talking about. I’m talking about people who enjoy TV at the end of the day, those who dive into a series who commit to the characters, the storylines, the visuals, and the production. I have had some really interesting conversations about different TV shows with others on Twitter and I want to offer an alternative perspective.

I’m going to talk about my experiences when watching TV. Not soap operas, I’m talking about long series. I’m going to explain why I enjoy them and how I use them for my own creativity, self-care, and inspiration.

Consider this; TV series are just visual audiobooks. Just my opinion so don’t come for me. But if you believed this to be true and you treated TV as you would a book, audio or physical, would you feel less guilty admitting that you watch and enjoy TV? Let’s find out.

Like everything else in my life, I like all different genres of TV for differing reasons.

The right TV shows can open your eyes to entirely new ways of thinking and storytelling. I enjoy the production, the sets, the costumes, and all the fine details that go into a series in order for me to buy into the fantasy. As someone who loves a good story, why would I not enjoy a TV story? I mean where else can you become empathetic with a serial killer? Or consider an alternative where the devil is kind at heart? Or watch as a creator marries a tale of the horror of an old asylum with alien abduction?

When I sit down to watch a series I prepare myself to enter a new story, a new fantasy. I hope that I will be kept thinking and on my toes, exposed to a new way of approaching storytelling. As I watch, I consider what I am enjoying. Usually, it’s the description, the depth, and layers of a character or story. I enjoy trying to work out what path the story will take. This is why I prefer TV shows over films. I have guessed the ending of a film just a few minutes in too many times for me to enjoy movies as much as I enjoy a TV series. Also, I enjoy watching series with my hubby we share this experience.

Sometimes a TV show will come out with a gem of a line that can be a source of inspiration. For example AHS — coven Ep 3 on Stevie Nick’s:

“Stevie didn’t really find her voice until she and Lindsey joined Fleetwood Mac. That’s the thing, can’t be your best self until you find your tribe”

Wish I had listened more the first time I watched it Xmas of 2013!

Part of your toolbox

I do not write fiction, I write about my own experiences, thoughts, and ideas. Shows like You use inner dialogue throughout and so I pay particular attention to the use of this inner dialogue and how it can add to a story to provide context. This dialogue allows the viewer to “know” the character just a little bit deeper, like they are talking just to you, sharing a secret. I enjoy this conversational way and so this is what I focus on when I write, it’s how I want my readers to feel. Like I am talking to them, sharing my secrets or inner thoughts — not that I am a serial killer! This sparks both my creativity and inspiration.

Self-care — during my burnout I was unable to concentrate on reading or writing, I could not bring myself to do either. That was not helping my situation. What helped was The Good Place. The show is bright and colourful, if I couldn’t be happy I could at least watch something funny and vibrant. Whilst I didn’t laugh much it helped my mind clear. I was able to focus on something other than the shitty situation I was in. Because I had seen the show before, it was something familiar to me. I knew the characters, what was going to happen, and that in a strange way made me feel better. It took the pressure off my brain.

Takeaways

What can you take away from this? Well if nothing else the permission to enjoy and indulge in good stories — even if they are on TV.

Use the imagination of others to spark your own, pose questions, look for alternative perspectives, re-write the endings. Play, have fun. Learn what aspects of the shows that you watch intrigue you the most. Try and replicate that in your own writing.

Stuck on what to write? Reach to a favourite show and change something about it, can you push the boundaries further? Would you like to know more about a character? Write about them — create a new background for one of them. Recognise that TV shows can be a useful tool to ignite your creative mind. Can you take an idea or a line and build some creative writing around that?

Like everything else, curate & be intentional

If you enjoy TV then feel free to integrate it as part of your own toolbox. Approach the curation of your watchlist as you would your physical reading, or audiobook. Look for shows that you find interesting or could provide twists and turns. Take notes, record ideas, take a what if statement and run through some exercises; What If, Dexter was a female character? How would this change the way in which the murders were committed? Would the viewers feel the same compassion? The questions and answers are endless — there are no rules.

Ultimately, TV shows are entertainment and are currently perceived as time suckers. Hopefully, I have shown you a way of actually using TV shows as a source of inspiration or just another tool in your arsenal.

So if you enjoy a good show then I give you permission to admit you enjoy them just be sure to make them work for you.

Something I often ask myself, especially when I am struggling with overwhelm, is why I am in a career that requires so much social interaction. Was it the wrong choice?

As a project manager, you have to interact with many people. I have had 4-hour workshops, back to back meetings over the course of six hrs with short (5–10min) breaks in between. Call after call after call. When I go on site I am surrounded by people all wanting to talk to me about something, this can take up much of my day. Don’t get me wrong — I enjoy seeing all the colleagues I spent every day with pre-pandemic and it’s not their fault that constant talking exhausts me.

Being aware of this trait I end up being self-critical, should I really have a job where too much social interaction takes so much out of me? I have recently started to worry about this. I mean, even I think project managers should be extroverted to be successful so I decided to look into this a little more.

A common misconception of introverts is that we are shy people. This is not necessarily true for all. Some common traits of an introvert:

• Need quiet to concentrate
• Are reflective
• Are self-aware
• Take time making decisions
• Feel comfortable being alone
• Don’t like group work
• Prefer to write rather than talk
• Feel tired after being in a crowd
• Have few friendships, but are very close with these friends
• Daydream or use their imaginations to work out a problem
• Retreat into their own mind to rest

I can relate to all of these points except “don’t like group work”. I have always been a team player, participating in many group sports. I was always the quiet one in the team but I took part gladly. I would say that I feel uncomfortable in group work but I have found it incredibly helpful especially during my degree.

Looking at this list I can not see anything negative or suggestive that I am not suited to my career. In fact, I see many positives. I can also see why I thrived during the lockdown. Quiet time to concentrate and process. This allowed me to retreat into my mind to work out problems and not feel compelled to interact during a break. I could take advantage of going for a walk, sitting in the garden, playing with my dogs, or just sitting and reflecting on the activities of the day or a problem I was dealing with.

Carl Jung said, introverts turn to their own minds to recharge, while extroverts seek out other people for their energy needs. This is very true for me. I happily take part in meetings, workshops with wide audiences and enjoy the connections that I make. However, I need time after to decompress, think through all the questions, and any decisions that need to be made. In order to do this, I need quiet time.

In an effort to find some more information I came across a study on introverts featured in the AM J Psychiatry 156:2, February 1999: JOHNSON, WIEBE, GOLD, ET AL which concluded:

“The findings of the study lend support to the notion that introversion is associated with increased activity in frontal lobe regions”

This part of the brain helps you remember things, solve problems, and plan ahead. Interesting, may explain the annoyingly (for my husband) good memory and why I was drawn to project management in the first place.

So what is the way forward for me? How do I use this knowledge to improve my working life? Some of the ideas that I am toying with are:

• Build-in downtime following long meetings
• Plan for regular annual leave breaks — for a full recharge going 7 months without is a disaster
• Use the knowledge I have found to construct the best possible environment — work to my strengths.
• Be open with people on what boundaries or processes and systems I need to be in place to really excel and provide the value I know that I can bring

Conclusion

Yes, you can be an introverted project manager but to be successful you need to be aware of your own traits, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Pay attention to yourself, what works for you, don’t worry that it may not be what everyone else is doing.

Additional resources

For other introverts, you may be interested in a site I found with a wonderful community: Introvert, Dear

I also found an article titled: The Science Behind Why Introverts Are Pros at Reading Body Language, which made me laugh following my article on what a project management course won’t teach you.

What other ways do you manage these exciting skills? Join the conversation over on Twitter

When I first told my husband about my fortress I described it as being transported back in time. For those in the UK, and of a certain age, you will remember going on holiday to the seaside, taking your bucket and spade, spending your days building sandcastles and playing in the water. You will have bought sticks of rock for all your friends may be a mug with your name on it — or some other object to remind you of your holiday. Lunch would be eaten out of newspaper chips, sausage, and maybe some curry or gravy (depending on which end of the country you are from). Days were long, warm, you felt fantastic and the only worry you had was getting all the sand out of your pants This is what I meant by being transported back in time.

A place of peace and tranquility

During our first trip, as we made our way down the main street, my husband noticed the big fortress-like wall on the left-hand side blocking sight of anything on the other side. “What’s in there?” he asked whilst trying to find a parking spot. “Just wait — you will love it”, not happy that I wouldn’t spill the beans, and being impatient he asked again, this time I responded, “Peace is what's behind there. Trust me you will enjoy this surprise and I can not do it justice- you need to see and feel it for yourself”. We were booked into a converted convent located opposite the main entrance through the fortress. After we dumped our bags we headed right there.

I will never forget the look on his face as we stepped through the wall, leaving the quiet main street passing through to the other side, into the fortress — my fortress. His eyes widened with joy, mesmerization, and complete shock. This new world inside revealed uneven narrow streets with cobbled stones, shops on either side, a big old church in the middle, and a sea of people. He looked like the Cheshire cat, I also caught a glimpse of how he would have reacted when he was a child if presented with such a surprise. The shops were full of the usual seaside items — buckets, spades, and other essential beach items hanging on the outside. We were in Wales so there were also plastic macs and umbrellas all adorned with the Welsh flag. Between the shops, are pubs and coffee shops. The place, as it always is in Tenby, was heaving with people and dogs. Lots of dogs. Kids running and laughing everywhere.

It’s not a very big place and you can get around it in no time. But that's not how you do it in Tenby. You wander slowly, you add in some stops a beer here, the odd coffee there, an ice cream, and then the time, the stress just melts away. His surprises didn’t stop there. Two more were on their way.

Childhood memories

The first one was my favorite shop. On our first visit, I wasn't even sure it was still there but I stormed in the direction — each and every step I hoped it would be there just as it was when I was 9. Within minutes I was stood in front of it — a massive building of 3 stories. But would it smell the same? That’s what I remembered the most — the smell of incense, the books, the magic. Literally, all my books on magic came from this store. As I walked through the light green doors I could tell it had changed, as shops do over 30 years, but the smell — exactly the same intoxicating fragrance of incense and oils. My husband also fell in love with the store — but he found his love on the second floor. In the dragon’s den.

The second surprise that I had promised him — the best lunch he has ever had as an adult — would make him feel like the summer happy boy he remembers. We walked and joined the long queue to grab some chips from the “famous” chippy and eat them on the beach. “Where the hell is the beach?” he asked — “follow me”. I led him down some side streets filled with houses, flats, and cottages like I was there yesterday (it was probably closer to 25 years) where at the end we stood overlooking the most amazing sandy beach and out across the ocean. We walked down the steep 1000’s of steps (it feels like a million on the way up) sat in the sand and ate our lunch while listening to the waves and screams of laughter.

Time to read, write, talk, think or just be present

It is the perfect place to take a book, note pad get lost in thoughts and ideas. To let your imagination run wild. Talk to complete strangers as though you have known them for years. Or if needed just put everything down and just be present. Be on your own with your own thoughts. Put it this way — the day my little rescue dog Logi (who didn't leave my side for the entire time we had him including when we slept) passed away unexpectedly we were due to go to Tenby for 3 days. Initially, my husband wanted to cancel — I was adamant that we would go, and probably a bit aggressive about it. I couldn't think of a better place to heal my soul right at that moment in time. On this occasion I was right, I think even he would admit that.

Days in Tenby are typically enjoyed with walks, eating, shopping in the quirky stores, drinking — beer, wine, coffee, sitting, watching, and breathing in the air that clears the mind in seconds. The evenings are spent in dark-lit pubs or cocktail bars with a friendly atmosphere. For those who still enjoy staying out late drinking, there is plenty of nightlife to enjoy. However, this is not for us. Once we have had dinner we take ourselves to the Tesco express to pick up some drinks — usually some cans of pre-made gin. Doesn’t sound too classy but bear with me. This is the ultimate part of the trip — the time I look forward to the most.

Caves, Moon, Waves & Sea Air

I am relaxed from a day of wandering hand in hand, not doing much other than enjoying my husband’s company and trying to win him a keyring in the arcade. I have just had the best Thai curry, the weather is usually warm (we go in August) so we head towards the beach. Sometimes we just find a big old rock to sit on, listen to the sea washing up and down in the semi-dark. Sometimes, we take ourselves off to the cave and sit in there watching the bats leave for the evening. We sit and chat. Often we just sit and look out to sea, watching the moon track its course. I am never ready to go back to the B&B, not because of the million steps back up to the street take’s the wind out of me but because I am tranquil while I sit there in the moonlit sand or in the cave. Just the two of us, no worries — they all live in England — happy to be silent, listening, thinking, or not thinking.

Resetting at its best

Being in Tenby always fills me with a sense of peace like no other place I have ever been. The sound of the waves replicates my heartbeat, the sea air clears my mind. It is a place in which I am content, serene, and at peace with myself and the world. In a short period of time, I feel so refreshed that I can go back to the “normal world” and take on anything, accomplish anything, be anything.

So the question you must be asking — why don't I live there? Well, that’s an easy answer — because it's fucking expensive to live there — anywhere that makes me feel like this is most certainly to be out of my price range (and it is). Plus, would it still be my fortress? Somewhere I can escape to when needed? A place that can make me time travel, feel safe, and refreshed?

Probably not.

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As a project manager — plans are my thing. That said, I know when it’s pointless to have certain plans or when all you need is an outline. Don’t get me wrong, having a goal of retiring at the age of 45 with an outline plan to get there is not a bad shout — but not the answer for an interview. Equally any life/career plan needs to be monitored, revised and potentially changed each year at the least. An outline, or a general idea of the direction you are going in, is certainly helpful but doesn’t seem like the answer people are looking for.

I have been interviewed by all levels of professionals, solo business owners, senior managers, department managers, CEO’s and CFO’s and they all end up asking some adaptation of this question. To this day I have never mastered the correct answer and I have come to the conclusion that it is a bullshit question — a filler, one for the unimaginative. This is why…

What are you getting at?

When someone is sat in front of you they are interviewing for a new job, in a new company. Potentially this is a new direction, with new opportunities which may possibly change any previous plans.

Did they mean if I got that job? If so, then I had no plan, not really. I have no idea of what could be achieved, as in for real. They can say there is a career path but who knows until you’re in the company. If this is where they gauge how much research you have done into the company are they seriously expecting someone to prepare for the interview and come with a 5–10 year plan of action relevant to being in that company? WOW.

Is it if I stay in my current job? I’m trying to move on. Do you think I have a 5 yr plan for that scenario? Nope waste of time.

Do they mean in my personal life? Because anyone who does have a 5-year plan has included the rest of their life. Surely not, as the answers would be, travelling, experiences, are you looking to find out if I take all my leave every year? Ah, could it be a sneaky way to find out if children are in the plan? No, this is an interview, not a social meeting, and what company would be so sneaky?

Is the end game to see if I am ambitious, well you have my CV, we spoke for an hour, you should have a good idea on that one. Wasting my time.

Or are they trying to see if I have my shit together and worked out how to get through this thing called life? If so I have news for you, no one has worked it out, no one has their shit together, at least not completely (including the interviewer). We are all work in progress — that’s life, my friend.

So what is the magic answer because after 25 yrs working and hundreds of interviews down the line I still have no idea? And I still don’t have a 5yr plan. If I have learnt anything in life, in particular, the last 2 years of living through a pandemic, shit changes and you have to change with it.

A variety of potential answers

Would being happier than I am today be enough? Nope apparently not

Do you want to hear about how I want to declutter my life so much that I could pack up and move in a month? I’m guessing not

Oh, I’m actually at the end of my 5-year plan and it concludes with me getting this job? That will cut the conversation dead won’t it?

In 5 years I will be your boss (yep actually came out with that little gem) luckily for me that person saw the humour and I got put through to meet the CEO, didn’t get the job!

Oh and for the record, never ever tell a company you want to start your own business, bombed right out of that job.

What makes anyone think this question is a good one? It seems to only raise more questions.

If I give you a 5-year plan, are you going to use that against me? Track my progress and kick me out if I don’t achieve those goals?

Please tell me what the purpose of these questions is, what are you hoping to achieve?

My guess is that in all the years you have asked this question and been pleased with the answer, that person has spent time crafting all the right keywords to simply get through the question and that plan was forgotten inside of 6months (or in my case as soon as I got back in the car). Or at the very least it’s changed. Have you gone back and asked that colleague if they are on track? If so what did you do with the information?

So again, what is your goal with the question?

Come up with a beneficial question — both for you and the interviewee

Companies need to work out what kind of insight they are trying to gain over and above what is contained in the CV, cover letter and the hour of questions you have, what additional value does this question provide you? Interviews take a lot of time and effort on both sides — use it well.

Here's an alternative — if you cant come up with anything bettter

In a recent online exchange with Ev Chapman (@evielync), who inspired me to write this, I shared my feelings on the 5-year goal and why I feel this way. She replied to say that from now on she would focus on asking who the interviewee wanted to become. Boom, now this is a good one.

First up, no one will expect that so you have them thinking on their feet right there leading to potentially an incredibly honest answer. The answer will provide you with insight into what drives them, their values, what’s important to them and their lives both in and around work (because this is actually important). The answer will not be rehearsed or keywords from internet advice.

My answer to all who interviewed me and asked me this dumb question

Let me tell you who I want to be in 5 years.

• I want to be healthy and happy in as many areas of my life as possible, and bring happiness to others.
• For areas of my life that require work — I want to be someone who takes action to learn and improve.
• I want to be the kind of person that makes time for the people who are important to me. I want to be strong enough to know when to say no and say it.
• I want to ensure my clients are not only pleased with the job I do for them but I want them to enjoy working with me.
• I want to build strong relationships with people both in and out of work and help others as much as I can.
• I want to walk to the beat of my own drum creating a life that’s so enjoyable that I can not wait to do it again each day.

For more like this follow me on Twitter or on LinkedIn (before I get kicked off!)