Let’s get back to the topic, shall we?

Everybody wants change. I mean, everyone tries to be the best version of themselves, and I believe there will be a point where they get tired of doing things recursively. Staying in that situation where they start questioning the things that they’re doing, questions about weight, health, mood, and even happiness.

Honestly, in this era of life as how we know it, somehow we demand instant results because, as humans, we evolve. We adapt to the current situation and environment, especially in the technological era, where everything seems so easy to receive.

Information is like one swipe away. If you’re hungry, you can do delivery. Do you need entertainment? It’s just one step of a button and so many instant things that we automatically do on a daily basis.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy and am very grateful for how technology is now, I mean, I wouldn’t be sitting in a bar and writing about this on a Monday night and posting it online. It’s not always purely negative. You can learn anything with what technology is today, like Anything.

But because of that, we lack to enjoy the process, the patience, and the journey.

Running helped me to open up a little part of that area. I first ran my first 5K with a heart rate of 168–175, and it was torture. My legs were in pain; I was out of breath in the first 2 km. I just wanted to stop. The good thing is my buddy Budi was there; he slowed down with me. Letting me enjoy my own pace of my run.

The first month of running was impossible for me to enjoy on my own, and I was doing it consistently with friends, and it was fun!

When I got back to Bali, I decided to run alone, and It was tough, especially when the pain came by. You somehow began to talk to yourself, understanding your mind’s conversation and your body’s abilities, and somehow… trusting the process.

But that’s not it. The toughest part of all that is actually to start. (Especially when it comes to morning runs)

Somehow, you just gotta have that “F*** it! I’m getting up!” kind of mentality.

Imagine forcing yourself up at 5 am, punishing yourself to actually move, wear your shoes, and go out. There are tons of moments where I’m like, “What am I doing? It’s a Saturday, for god sake!” but somehow you do it anyway.

Now, in 3 months.

I repeat, 3 Months!

I see a lot of differences, especially for myself. I somehow think better, I worry less about things that are not meaningful, I indulge in the present, and I feel good about being alone.

One of my proudest moments was Video Calling my mom, and she’s like, “Why do you look slimmer now?!” and that my friends are my milestones to victory.

The hardest line to cross is the starting line. — Nike

Look, no matter how hard we work or how quick we hope, change will take time and change will come, and the result will always show, but that fight against yourself is the toughest thing you need to face. The complaints, the excuses, the “I don’t have time,” the “Oh, he is more privileged than me,” and so many more things that we both have up in our minds.

All you gotta do is shut that mouth of yours and just f***ing do it.

As you guys know, I have been roaming around different cities for almost every stage of my life, and I have never felt very homey when I visited Yogyakarta. Most of my friends who I grew up with were there, those people who have been there at my lowest, people who have seen me develop, or perhaps people who just have the same phase as me.

Most of my friends are truly struggling, but they are enjoying their lives. I was very glad that waking up in the morning is something they would say is a lifestyle now, while back then, the earliest time we would wake up was basically around 10 am.

Most of them are now running, I mean actual runners. They would wake up early in the morning, right before sunrise, put on running shoes, and just run right before work.

Who does that? I mean, at least I don’t.

Well, I think that’s basically my loss, then.

I remember we went camping on my second week with my two friends, and we talked a lot about how things are and how life is nowadays. I told them what it was like living in a country abroad and now living in a city where I never lived before. Heck, I even told them how lonely I was and how tired it is to open up and meet new people the way I used to.

But then again, they told me that I was not supposed to be like that.

I understand. I’m trying, too.

Overall, seeing them daily again takes back memories of how fun and wild our lives were back then, I mean my life. Seeing how I have grown is just something that I would not take back, and yes, visiting Jogja for 3 weeks is more than just enough.

Heck! I even started running because of them!

So thank you, let’s just hope this activity can be consistent for this lazy ass writer.

Not gonna brag, but the park I went to is not as pretty as how the picture indicates. It somehow has more people, more crowded.

Anyways, as an Indonesian teen in his 20s, I may say that representing those lazy Gen Z’s can be the POV on this writing today. Despite all the things that have been said to our generation, I would say we are better than that.

I’m very happy that Denpasar has a park that we can go to and enjoy. The big trees surrounding it, create just a perfect amount of enjoyable outings to its vibe. Even though it’s a little bit crowded yet still, it was a great run. I saw different types of people doing different types of activities in just one afternoon.

People running, playing football, doing stretches, basketball, walking their dogs, and so much more somehow decorated my afternoon on another level.

What’s interesting is that I tried to see it all through my own lens. With every step, I imagined myself in their shoes, trying to experience the afternoon from other people’s perspectives. I realized that this small decision to go out and see others somehow broadened my view of reality. It allowed me to escape from my own thoughts for a while.

On the other hand, It’s just so fascinating how your mind can create different scenarios in your head. Those questions keep floating around, making you wonder what it is like living in others’ perspective for some time.

“What is he doing after this?”

“Those kids right there doing football sessions, and their parents just watching them with joy. They seem so proud.”

“What is he thinking sitting down there doing nothing with one pack of cigarettes and enjoying this crowded afternoon, is he okay?”

Seeing the laughter and emotions in how they spend their afternoon just hits me in another place, like they're enjoying their weekend. They really value time.

When you look at the sidewalks tons of photographers are just there taking pictures where the sun hits, trying to capture that perfect shot of people doing activities. Yet I know they’re just there to find some extra cash on the side.

A couple of kids going around selling water to people walking and jogging on the side tracks. Some waiting to be approached just hoping to earn a couple of cash to eat dinner, or perhaps to feed their families.

And not to mention those people with their sauna suits running with dedication and sweat, with shoes that have holes in them that seem like it has been used for years, just to lose weight and to look good.

In the end, you just can’t believe how much you can observe just by spending 30 minutes outside, and not making a single interaction. Imagine if you did — you might get more than just what you noticed. You could make connections, grow your network, or even meet friends who might help you out when you need them.

So, if you’re still stuck inside, trying to find a very well-distinguished idea, or perhaps just want to freshen up your mind before a war. Go out bro, there are a lot of things that need to be seen.

Honestly, I feel very dramatic this Saturday night, in a good way. So I decided to write about something that has been on my mind after a couple of weeks through conversations with a couple of friends.

With the presence of receiving information faster (through the palm of our hands). Besides giving out positive benefits, it also affects our minds on a deeper level. I mean if you dig in and understand how you see things and how you become aware of it you will understand.

I recently just saw a post on Instagram that talks about how abnormal it is right now in this day and age to be normal. Like, everyone is trying to be someone, everyone is trying to get noticed, famous, rich, and all those things that we have been seeing so far. Don’t get me wrong, I am also one of those people who is trying to reach that level of familiarity.

On the other hand, the exposure to how it is happy and how fulfilling it is to reach that level has been outstandingly spread equally. While the other parts of the story are not yet to be shown. I mean I know those types of stories aren’t good for business but at least people would understand the hard work you have been through.

Well, let’s get back to the basics then.

“What do you want out of life?”

Happiness, a good family, tons of money. What else? Free time?

Everyone wants that to be on their wishlist for some point, everyone wants that stress-free weekend, or seeking millions of sales each day, but are you seriously willing to outstand the pain?

People be complaining about how shitty life is, how worried it gets when things don’t work out, how stressful it is to think about how your boss isn’t talking to you, and why you can’t be a better human for anyone else.

Most people want to get paid for a good job at a good company, but not many people want to suffer 60 hours of workweeks, having complicated recursive deploying tasks, and having to suck up 2 faces of dramatic people in one organization.

Most people want to have an amazing partner with good communication, but not many people want to plan those dinner dates, thinking about the money that they will spend, the awkward conversations, the silent treatment, or the bills that need to be paid.

Most people want to be business owners with names up on “Top Under 25 Millionaires” in Forbes magazine, but not many people want to deal with loans that can’t be paid, small sales in one month, workers who love complaining, or even customers that seem like a dick.

Most people want to ……

you got the point, right?

The thing is you can’t be someone when you just keep on complaining about the problems you face without enjoying them. Look, problems are the essential parts of life. Even doing nothing can cause problems like going to the toilet because of the Samyang noodles you ate the night before, somehow you need to stand and open up the toilet lid and suddenly, realize your water broke down.

Happiness comes from solving problems, you realize why I bold it out, right? Exactly.

To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is a constant work-in-progress which therefore solving problems is also a constant work-in-progress — the solutions to today’s problem will lay the foundation for tomorrow’s problem, and so on.
 — Mark Manson, in his book The Subtle of not giving a f*ck.

True Happiness occurs when you find a problem that you enjoy having and enjoy solving.

And yes I am currently reading that book. I mean most of you would know me as a person who doesn’t like reading books.

Since we’re on about True Happiness. How do you enjoy having problems and enjoy solving them?

Well by seeing the people who are a lot happier than me, I.E., people who worked 9 years as street vendors pushing their carts while listening to Queens and smiling all day long, those taxi drivers who talk on their own to customers without giving a shit whether they care or not, and those factory workers who work a 12-hour shift but still can dance to Michael Jackson’s Thriller while putting up lids on toothpastes.

You still didn’t get it, do you?

By actually understanding and being thankful for what you have achieved and received. By being Grateful for what you stand for. And yeah I know what you guys will think.

“Ugh, another word of gratitude”

Well, I guess that’s when the word “accepting” comes into play. Honestly, Accepting plays a big role in this issue. Somehow before you want to enjoy you need to willingly accept all those questions you have up in your mind.

Accept the fact that you are lazy, accept the fact that you don’t have the tools everyone has, accept being fat and obese, accept that people don’t like you, accept that you are a failure, and accept how easily you feel demotivated because of how hard life is.

But this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stop progressing, okay?

Honestly, being grateful is not just a one-time thought that you need to remind yourself of, but it requires a daily routine and constant POV on putting yourself in others’ shoes that are way below you.

To see life in a different matter, to enjoy what you currently are pursuing, and to accept all the things that you have required.

Since everyone knows now that I am in Bali, writing about it is a good way to express my feelings for my first month living here. For now, everything seems very fun. There are a couple of culture shocks honestly but I am enjoying it very well.

Let’s take a step back and understand what are my thoughts about this city in the first place. To be honest with you, I have no interest whatsoever in living and building a life here in Bali, I don’t even have a thought or two about going to spend my vacation here.

Somehow, God speaks differently. Last month I just ended up on this island with nothing in mind besides working, and I’m enjoying it already.

As you can see in the media, Bali is very well known for its beautiful beaches, places, cultures, and so many more. Which made me feel like it’s pretty overrated. When in the meantime, I didn’t see it through the lens of the people living here as a local.

Thankfully, I got a chance to see the city from my point of view as a person who works here and struggles to survive a 9 to 5 job, and after a month of understanding, I believe the beauty of Bali is more than just a place to heal or a place to chill and enjoy.

It is about the rich mixture of culture, arts, literature, and religion that became the foundation of its roots for the people that lived here.

On the other side, Jogja and Bandung have this unique feeling every time you arrive and set foot in the city, it feels nostalgic for how it is meant to be. Those 2 cities are that special because of the aura you get when visiting them, and here in Bali. It’s another different story. Still unique but in a very different way.

Since I’m living deep in the city, where the local is located, deep in the heart of southern Denpasar. I feel like the people are very open to new things, especially when it comes to food and beverages. As an outsider, you get that feeling of something new, things that seem odd because I didn’t grow up that way, and deciding to continue my life in Bali, was one of them.

I found it very fun to learn more about my nationality, my roots, and our different types of beliefs that are 100% different from other places here in Indonesia, but to be upfront I am very happy that I got a chance to discover new places, new environment, new ethical manners and new culture.

On the bright side, I’m very proud to consider myself an Indonesian, where at this kind of point, I felt true to my belief that my country has more than 300 distinct ethics regarding its Cultural Diversity.

In the meantime, I feel like I’m growing with it, I’m learning piece by piece how Balinese people are in everything they do. Trying to figure out what differentiates us and what unites us as one nation.

Where now, I feel like…
It’s only the beginning.

Bisa dibilang mungkin kata bersyukur tuh udah sering banget di denger dalam keseharian kita. Namun, kita hidup ya kalau ga ngeluh ya saling mengingatkan aja. Terutama di Minggu siang ke sore yang cukup hangat ini di daerah Denpasar Selatan.

Udah lama juga kayaknya gua ga nulis makek bahasa Indonesia, jadi ya khusus untuk kali ini, gua akan mencoba untuk menulis dengan bahasa keseharian aja.

Udah sekitar 2 bulan gua balik lagi ke tanah air dari Qatar, dan jujur gua bersyukur banget bisa diberikan kesempatan untuk pulang. Honestly, I may say beberapa bulan yang lalu emang bulan bulan yang cukup membukakan hati dan pikiran ya. Dari segi decision making yang berat sampe dititik bisa di posisi sekarang.

Satu hal yang gua pelajarin lebih tentang kehidupan dari Qatar yang serba mewah dan kehidupan di Indonesia saat ini. Jujur, di Qatar tuh cukup apa ya mungkin bisa di bilang sulit untuk bersyukur kayaknya, maksudnya cara orang bersyukur kan beda beda ya.

Nah dari kacamata gua ya, disana tuh kita selalu berusaha untuk jadi orang lain, kita berusaha untuk punya apa yang di punya orang lain. Sesimple mobil deh, yang dimana kalau pulang kantor tuh mobil mewah tuh berserakan dimana mana. Dengan rasa “Kapan ya gua bisa jadi kayak gitu?”. Ya kalau di ambil sebagai motivasi jujur bagus, cuman kalau selalu di banding bandingin terus ya mau sampe kapan?

Disisi lain, dengan baliknya gua ke tanah air, gua ngerasa lebih bisa menghargai diri sendiri, apalagi di posisi saat ini. Keluar kantor masih ketemu macet, masih ketemu orang yang keliling jualan panas panas naik sepeda dan banyak lainnya lagi.

Bersyukur banget rasanya, masih diberikan rezeki untuk bisa kerja di bawah ac, ruangan tertutup dan masih bisa pulang dengan atap di atas kepala. I mean, those are the smallest thing that we can think of right?

Terkadang ya banyak yang lupa aja sih dengan hal sesimple itu. Mungkin bisa dibilang udah bejibun ya yang menulis hal hal kayak gini. Cuman ya I believe that my writing is just like another pit-stop for others and also for me.

Disisi lain, gua juga bersyukur gua bisa kembali lagi ke tanah air, apalagi dengan baliknya orang tua ke Indonesia dari Qatar karena sudah pensiun. Bersyukur banget gua ngambil pilihan berat itu untuk balik lagi ke tanah air, yang secara notabene juga kesannya gua mulai lagi dari 0.

Sepertinya emang gua di takdirkan untuk balik lagi, dan stay di Indonesia, karena God wants me to witness how my parent is growing old, and how they play with their grand child, sampe ada suatu momen dimana mereka lagi main sepedaan dan gua hanya bisa memantau dari jauh tentang kehadiran mereka yang sederhana.

“Ya Allah, I wonder what I would be like when they are no more there to see me thrive. It’s gonna be very hard for me. Please keep them in a very good health. Keep them in a good and stable condition where happiness is as easy as picking up fruits from their tree.”

Akhirnya, bersyukur lagi karena bisa hadir dekat dengan mereka di waktu waktu tua mereka.

Semoga tulisan ini bisa menjadi pit-stop buat kalian semua di luar sana untuk bisa jeda sebentar dan menikmati apa yang sudah dipunya dan lanjut lagi dengan perjalanan dan petualangan dengan hati dan pikiran yang lebih jernih.

Jujur, banyak hal lainnya yang ga bisa gua sebutin satu persatu mengenai rasa bersyukur.

Now I learned that, hidup itu hanya pilihan kita mau dibawa kemana, the wind is blowing all day long, but it’s our choice in which direction we want to sail to.

Remember what Timothee Chalamet said.

“You can be the master of fate, and the captain of your soul, but you have to realize that life is coming from you and not at you, and that takes time.”

So, I still remember the day I asked him in the living room on a very bright Friday.

“Dad, what made you fall in love with Mom, and what’s the fuel you’re still with her until now?”

Honestly, this one question made him take the TV remote and turn it down. After 2 hours of a long explanation. This is what I get.

You know, my Dad was a serious hard worker. He has many little sisters that he needs to feed and be responsible for, and having my mom there really helped him to boost things up. After that long explanation, I believe the quote

“Behind a great man, there is a strong woman”.

The story starts when My Mom is going on a trip from Bengkulu (Sumatra) to Purwokerto (Central Java). From what I know is that Mom doesn’t want to go alone so her father (my grandpa) wanted my dad to go with her. Back then they were just friends, but there is this one action that my dad told me is the one thing that made him want to marry her.

So as you guys know if you use like a Bus Ride from one island to another, there is always a time when you stop, rest, and have dinner for a while. At that moment when the bus stops. My Mom asked for my dad’s toothbrush and towel, and she would put toothpaste on his brush and say “Don’t forget to brush your teeth and wash your face” at every bus stop they found.

That moment when my Dad told me this story gives me flashbacks to when mom always prepared toothpaste for my brush every single night back when I was still a kid, even until now.

Even back then when I came back home from work late, I remember my mom would suddenly take out my 2 phone chargers from my bag and just plugged in both of my phones without me knowing.

From there on, I realized why My Dad married My Mom.

Honestly, doing those little things consistently is one of the hardest things that we can do to our partner, I mean imagine this, I rarely even consistently take out the trash if it wasn’t for my mom shouting from across the room. It needs dedication and real effort to make that little thing a habit.

I realized Loving each other is not always about being pretty and having the skills to take care of each other, but also having the dedication to put in priority on turning down each of our egos consistently and understanding each other through times that we don’t know what we are going to face, and I believe that’s the beauty part of it.

There will always be a time when we have different opinions or fights that we will be engaging in the future, and honestly, it’s normal. I know for a fact that it’s not always about having that certain chemistry, but also having that dedication and effort to make it work for both of us.

I mean who am I talking about love when I’m still figuring it out myself, right?

I remember those days when everything was so easy, back when I was a little bit younger, things were very very simple and reachable, but now, not so much. So I’ll be talking more about the pros and cons of being the last child.

Pros.

Honestly, one of the best moments of being the last child is back when you’re still a kid. Where you tend to get extra care, whether it’s from your parents, your families, or even anyone. It’s easier because you tend to get people on your side whether you were right or wrong.

I don’t want to say that I was spoiled back then, but I was privileged. I was born in a condition and situation when my family was in a good financial state, and everything that I needed was there. Well, I know that not everyone is as lucky as me, but I’m super grateful for what has been done and what happened to me when I was little.

I tend to get that jealous vibe from my elder siblings, and somehow It is how it is. Being the last child is really fun when you think about it. You learn so many things from your sibling’s past mistakes — — — even though in the end you created some new mistakes also.

I remember those days when all my friends at school had many cool devices and I would just be like asking my dad about them and he would give them to me the next weekend. As easy as that.

While my elder siblings need to work hard and get good grades or achievements when it comes to getting new things. So, I’m grateful, very grateful.

But when you grow older…

Cons.

The more mature you are the more feeling of “gaenakan” comes into mind. I was that kid, I know that my college tuition was very high compared to my elder siblings. Which then made me understand more about how much “weight” I’m holding on to. I know at the end of the day, as a parent you would do anything to provide the best possible solution for your children and I agree with that.

One of the cons of being the last child is less freedom. I mean this doesn’t occur to me actually but to most of my friends. Somehow you became very fragile to them, and they want you to be safe. This is normal by the way, who doesn’t want their child to be safe, but I’m saying this from another point of view.

I’m grateful that my parents aren’t that strict anymore. I guess before it was, but the more you grow older the more you mature and the more you show that you are capable of doing great things the more they would likely let you discover yourself.

The last thing about the cons of being the last child is Time.

Well, I remember I was chilling on the sofa while seeing my dad playing with his grandchildren and talking about trains, and you know what I thought to myself. I just hope for good health for my mom and dad. I want them to be there on my big days, as in being married to the love of my life, my firstborn child, and the day when I can make them proud as the last child.

Being the last child at this moment is tough, but it doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop especially when you know that now you're on your own.