Note: This was originally 15 social media posts from December 9, 2022 thru December 23, 2022. I thought this would be a great place to compile them all and provide my definitive list on the top Christmas commercials ever.

Two years ago I spent the 15 days leading up to Christmas counting down my favorite SNL holiday sketches.

I had a TON of fun doing that, so I’m going to run it back in 2022. Only this year, it’s going to be Christmas commercials. Over the next 15 days, I’ll be counting down my favorites from over the last 40 years from all over the world.

Some of them are going to make you laugh, and I can ASSURE you some of them are going to give you some “it’s getting dusty in here” moments. After all, it isn’t the holidays without some laughter and tears mixed in together.

First up is….

#15 “Pony” from Toys ‘R Us/eBay

If you have kids, it means you have experienced getting the exact present they want, just for it to….not exactly work out as planned.

This ad takes that idea to the extreme after some well-meaning parents buy their daughter what she actually wants: A pony.

In true Christmas fashion, dad seems to have been the overambitious one here and mom jumps in to rescue Christmas (and their furniture).

#14 “O’ Tannenpalm” — Corona

This commercial is old enough to buy the beer it’s selling for 11 years now.

For 32 straight years, Corona has shown the same 30-second spot of an isolated islander whistling “O’ Tannenbaum” and lighting up the palm tree outside his small house.

Not only can I not remember a holiday season without this ad, but it has also become a cultural institution with a crazy backstory. Despite the serenity of the ad, those who shot it say it was an alligator-infested marsh where they wanted to film and they had to hire alligator wranglers to finish the shoot.

But what we see on screen is a reminder that Christmas comes no matter how remote the location. Its message is so simple and powerful, every attempt Corona has made to create a new ad has been scrapped and they keep going back to this one every year.

#13 “Frankie’s Holiday” — Apple

Remember what was happening in our country in 2016? It was becoming a pretty divisive time around these parts. That led Apple (and many other brands) to intentionally release an ad that focused on the themes of tolerance and inclusivity.

“Frankie’s Holiday” tells the story of a lonely Frankenstein monster (Brad Garrett) who is looking for someone to spend the holidays with. This ad works even with the odd placement of Frankenstein’s monster in a Christmas spot, who we normally associate more with Halloween than any other holiday.

As he tries to fit in with the holiday everyone else around him is now celebrating, the climax of the ad is whether those people will now accept him.

#12 “Peter Comes Home for Christmas” — Folgers

I bet you know the end of this jingle: “The best part of waking up…..”

There are many who believe the global phenomenon that has become the sentimental and emotional Christmas commercial originated from this homecoming ad from 1985. Peter arrives back home early and, with his little sister’s help, plans to wake the family up to the smell of a freshly-brewed pot of Folgers.

For me, this commercial is equal parts nostalgia and reality. I remember being 7, 8, and 9 years old and this commercial playing around the holidays. I remember at that time thinking “that would be the grossest smell to ever wake up to!”

Now, whenever my wife and I are sleeping in during the holidays, the first one to wake up always starts a pot of coffee for both of us.

#11 “Faint” — M&M’s

Guess what? Not all holiday spots need to be tear-jerkers or emotional roller coasters. M&M’s knows this and their anthropomorphic red and yellow candies have been causing hijinks for almost 30 years now.

In 1996, the candies and Santa find out that they both do, in fact, exist. And just like when Jennifer McFly saw her future self, the only natural reaction is to faint.

It’s cute. It’s longstanding. And it makes kids laugh and want M&M’s. Mission accomplished.

#10 “Come Together” — H&M

Our second commercial from the year 2016 has a LOT of things going for it:

Adrien Brody — Oscar winner

Wes Anderson — 5x Oscar nominee

Bruno Delbonnel — 6x Oscar nominee

John Lennon — no description needed

It all combines into one of the most stylish, unique, and cinematic Christmas commercials ever created about a small group of people stranded together on a train on Christmas day.

Are they wearing H&M clothes in the ad? I have no clue, but anytime you get this many powerhouses together it should be a fun spin on Christmas and what it means to be together.

#9 “Joy is Made” — Amazon

The one entry from 2022 cracks the list at number nine for its emotional and multi-layered look at family and the holidays. An instant classic.

Right before I wrote this, I found out a colleague’s father passed away this morning. Many of us know how hard the holidays can be when we are missing loved ones and the hole that can emerge.

This ad does a beautiful job of capturing how the holidays can be both about honoring and treasuring those no longer here while giving overflowing amounts of joy to those still with us.

(just preparing you, there are a lot of tear-jerkers in the top nine…)

#8 “Christmas With Love From Mrs. Claus” — Mark’s and Spencer

The release of Christmas “adverts” around the world (especially in the UK) has almost become its own holiday. They are expected to be memorable, have a viral quality, and often have some cinema-level performances. So you’ll be seeing a lot of these memorable ones in the top 8, starting with one about the unknown side of Mrs. Claus.

When she isn’t starring in Ozark or The Menu or a host of other projects, actress Janet McTeer found time to play Mrs. Claus and uncover the real story about how some of the trickiest problems on Christmas are solved.

This one especially hits home for me because of the older sister/younger brother dynamic.

#7 “Snowman” — Campbell’s

As the temperature finally turns cold where I am, it’s appropriate to turn to one of the most beloved and simple holiday commercials ever.

This commercial from the golden age of Christmas advertising (the 1990’s) hit on two intentional levels. Kids see this and know the feeling of playing outside when it’s cold (remember when kids used to play outside?). They want that warm soup when they come in!

Parents also want to buy this soup because they know it’s good, cheap, and it’s what they had as a kid! Nostalgia is the most present emotion during the holidays and this commercial hits it out of the park.

#6 “Harris Family Holiday” — Apple

Apple runs the world so they might as well get two commercials on this countdown.

Our kids are at the age now where we have had to talk with both of them about being on their phones during the holidays and family gatherings. WE DIDN’T HAVE CELL PHONES TO ENTERTAIN US BACK IN MY DAY! WE HAD TO LISTEN TO ALL OUR GREAT-GRANDPARENTS’ STORIES! This commercial takes that idea and flips it on its head.

No more spoilers. This is a good one.

#5 “1914 Christmas” — Sainsbury’s

There are plenty of places you can read about the Christmas Truce of 1914, but I recommend you watch this commercial first before learning the story.

Many consider this the greatest holiday commercial ever, and it’s certainly the best representation of a Christmas moment ever. But even if you know the details of the story, seeing these moments visualized is just as impactful and emotional as when the commercial first aired in 2014.

#4 “English for Beginners” — Allegro

I want to first apologize right away for the very sudden and very bad word used in this ad. Caught me by surprise, it did. I didn’t make the commercial!

Never thought I would have a commercial from Poland on this list, but here we are.

The message of this one is pretty simple. Is there anything we won’t do for people we love during the holidays?

#3 “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” — Hershey’s

There were a LOT of things to worry about in 2020, so the following story probably fell off your radar if you even saw it at all.

In late November of that year, Hershey’s released a new version of their classic 11-kisses commercial where a young girl plucks one of them out of the lineup mid-song and uses it to bake with her dad.

The intention was good, and Hershey’s justified the adjustment by saying that the joy of Hershey Kisses was always getting to use them when sharing time with family. But as you can imagine, there was a huge backlash.

The feedback was so negative that Hershey’s had to release a statement saying they would also show the original ad that year as well.

If your 30-year old commercial is so culturally ingrained that people riot when you change it, that means it’s moved into icon status.

And that’s why if gets the number three spot here.

#2 “WestJet Christmas Miracle” — WestJet

Even if you don’t remember it, I’m sure you have seen this one before. It is one of the most viral commercials of all time and has more than 50 million views on YouTube since it first aired in 2013.

Equal parts funny, heartwarming, and creative, this commercial centered around an idea that maybe WestJet could give their customers their Christmas wishes almost in real-time.

Such a fun idea and the reactions at the end of this commercial make the whole thing VERY worth it.

#1 “The Long Wait” — John Lewis

I always loved Christmas.

Then I had kids and now I REALLY love Christmas.

Hope everyone enjoyed the countdown!

BONUS: I had someone submit this one to me after the countdown, and I absolutely love it. (Thanks, Holly Conrad!)

Le Noël inoubliable de Bouygues Telecom

“Does it bother you?”

Princess Rhaenyra asks her aunt this pivotal question as they both intensely watch King Viserys court the aunt’s young daughter to potentially be his next wife after his first bride perished in childbirth.

“Of course it does,” Princess Rhaenys answers. “But I understand the order of things.”

In this scene from the second episode of The House of the Dragon, “The Rogue Prince,” Rhaenys goes on to explain what the order of things actually is in the society that is Westeros and the entirety of the mythical realm created by George R.R. Martin.

“Whether it’s to my daughter
or to someone else’s,
your father will remarry sooner than late.
His new wife will produce new heirs,
and chances are better than not
that one of those will be male.
And when that boy comes of age
and your father has passed,
the men of the realm
will expect him to be heir, not you.
Because that is the order of things.”

Rhaenyra, the previously-named heir to the throne in the pilot episode “The Heirs of the Dragon,” gives the expected and appropriate response for an ambitious, 14-year-old young woman who has recently become the first female to be named heir. She says she will finally be the one to create a new order. She is, after all, the first woman to whom the whole realm will bend the knee. But she is summarily put back in her patriarchal place by Rhaenys.

“Here is the hard truth,
which no one else has
the heart to tell you.
Men would sooner put
the realm to the torch
than see a woman
ascend the Iron Throne.”

The idea that the order of things in Westeros and its outlying regions “bothers” many of the central figures in this Game of Thrones prequel series is quickly becoming the central thesis of the show. The sense of tradition and normalcy that keeps the royal order in check has laid dormant for far too long.

Before King Viserys, his grandfather King Jaehaerys ruled over more than 60 years of peacetime throughout the entire kingdom. After another 10 years of peaceful rule under the current king, there is a palpable feeling among the nobles that the customs of Westerosi life are being lived on the edge of one of the Kingsguard’s swords.

Even Rhaenys and her husband Lord Corlys note during the first episode’s knight tournaments that “these knights are as green as a summer’s grass. None have known real war…. it’s a marvel that war didn’t break out at first blood.” At the same time, the blood of Queen Aemma is being spilled during childbirth, where both she and the King’s son — the hopeful heir to the throne — perish. This spilled blood does, in fact, set in motion the disruption of naming a male heir in favor of Viserys’ daughter, Rhaenyra.

The King’s brother, Prince Daemon — leader of a violent group of the City Watch — is predictably irate that he has been relegated to the sidelines in favor of his young niece. The expectation for Dameon was much like that of the ancient Greeks, the society that modernized patriarchal living. Just as Plato wrote that the virtue of women was “ordering the house well, looking after the property indoors, and obeying her husband,” Daemon believed even his violence, his philandering, and his arrogance would all be overlooked as he one day took his rightful and deserved place on the Iron Throne.

But after so much order and tradition and peace, this moment of naming a new heir caused the wheels of disruption to begin to turn with more force. The steps of the chaos ladder that Littlefinger spoke about in Game of Thrones suddenly began to be climbed much faster.

As we begin to digest the first bites of what will eventually become the Targaryen civil war and the dismantling of their once proud house and centuries of rule, the disruption, the backstabbing, and the maneuvering will now accelerate. We have seen this already with Daemon leading his followers to occupy Dragonstone, traditionally the location that houses the King’s heir. We have seen it with Lord Corlys, a member of the King’s own small council, looking to align with Daemon and appealing to their shared state as second sons and that their “worth is not given, it must be made.”

How much the king can tolerate before he breaks his personal mantra that it is his “obligation to avoid war until such a time it is unavoidable,” remains to be seen. But it is clear disruption is coming from all sides.

There has already been much digital ink spilled over the nature of the mysterious affliction that is slowly spreading through King Viserys body. The maesters of the castle are perplexed and can only prescribe rudimentary procedures such as cauterization and maggot-munching on his rotting flesh. Is it a form of leprosy, a virus, some infection from the many old, rusty blades that make up the Iron Throne?

All that we truly know at this point is they are small but dangerous problems that must not go unchecked. It will be interesting over the course of this first season of House of the Dragon to see how these small, physical nuisances mirror the larger, external disruptions of the peaceful and prosperous life Viserys has worked so hard to maintain. Eventually, they will both become undeniable complications that, if left unchecked, will disrupt the very order of life itself.

Winter may not be coming to Westeros for another couple of centuries, but disruption of tradition and duty looms much, much sooner. And for a proud and noble family like the Targaryens, that is a fate worse than any white walker can deliver.

NOTE: This piece was written after the second episode of the Disney+ show Ms. Marvel premiered.

“Do you want to be good, like we raised you to be, or do you want to be some, you know, this cosmic head-in-the-clouds person?”

This question, which closes the first episode of the latest MCU project from Disney+, Ms. Marvel, is an earnest yet selfish question from a mother to her teenage daughter, Kamala Khan. It’s imploring her to remember her upbringing and stay true to her heritage. But in the context of the larger MCU landscape, it actually offers this new character so much more. It offers her a choice.

For the first 14 years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s female heroes, choice is something we have rarely seen. Even a forced yet crowd-pleasing female-heroes-unite moment can’t mask the fact that these heroines are often in their positions reluctantly, passively, or briefly. Consider first of all that it would be 10 years after the MCU was born that we would see a female hero co-headline a movie (2018’s Ant-Man and the Wasp), and it would be another year before a film was fully led by one (2019’s Captain Marvel).

Our first glimpse of any heroine would be in 2010’s Iron Man 2 with Natasha Romanov as an undercover executive assistant who has been tasked by S.H.I.E.L.D. to surveil Tony Stark after it is made public he is Iron Man. If you know anything about Black Widow’s past, I’m sure that conversation went over well in the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.

“You mean with all my special skills in combat, assassination, and counter-intelligence, you want me to just play an assistant role and report back to you periodically?”

Even Scarlett Johannessen, who plays Romanov’s Black Widow, admitted to there being some “hyper-sexualization” of the part and she fought to make it a stronger, more independent force in the films to come.

Consider also what would come for female superheroes. In 2015, we would be introduced to both Elizabeth Olson’s Wanda Maximoff and Evangeline Lilly’s Wasp. Wanda Maximoff — introduced in Avengers: Age of Ultron — has a now-infamous journey of grief and despair, which was emphasized when her only real choice in her arc came when she had to decide whether to kill her beloved Vision or risk the death of half of humanity. But long before that impossible choice, she was imprisoned and forced to explore her powers by HYDRA. As she dealt with the death of her parents, her brother, her countrymen, the death of her partner, and the loss of her children which she conjured in a pseudo-idyllic world she manifested in WandaVision, the Marvel brass drove her story arc into the ground with the now controversial Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. Her search for her two boys drives her to devolve into a tired “out of her mind” trope and a mass murderer.

In Ant-Man, Hope Van Dyne (played by Lilly) desperately wants to help her father eliminate the existential threat caused by villain Darren Cross, but her father (Ant-Man creator Hank Pym) refuses. Afraid of what might happen to Hope after they lost her mother in a mission years earlier, Pym decides that a thief/electrical engineer/stranger is better equipped for the dangerous attempt to take down Cross. Only after Hope proves herself throughout the arc of the movie does her father (in an end-credits stinger) reluctantly show her the Wasp costume he saved all these years.

And in Captain Marvel, the first deviation from a mostly-male (and mostly named Chris) set of movies, the MCU finally thought it had its commanding female lead in Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel. But after a weak backstory which includes Vers (Captain Marvel) constantly and forcefully being instructed to “control your abilities” by a commanding officer and a vacuous attempt to power up Captain Marvel with No Doubt’s “I’m Just a Girl,” it wouldn’t be until Avengers: Endgame that we really see the unleashed Captain Marvel.

On and on the wheel of female subservience turns. Monica Rambeau gains powers and then immediately is summoned to do the will of Nick Fury (presumably). America Chavez can’t access the full force of her multiversal powers until Dr. Strange coaxes it out of her. The Loki variant Sylvie Laufedottir gets to choose between sitting at the seat of power at the Time Variance Authority or potentially destroying a thousand timelines by killing He Who Should Not Be Named. Were we surprised when she was the one who stabbed Jonathan Majors instead of Loki, the literal God of Mischief? Even Black Widow’s sacrificial choice in Endgame was not a real choice. How would fans and MCU residents feel if she sat back and let Clint Barton’s children be fatherless after he suffered and fought for so long to get them back?

So in the premiere episode “Generation Why” when we hear Kamala Khan’s mother ask her what exactly it is she wants to do, and who she wants to be, a good kid or someone in a cosmic fantasyland, it is revelatory when she answers to herself, “Cosmic.”

Inevitably, the remaining episodes of this series will follow the arc that it is Kamala Khan’s destiny to take up the mantle of Ms. Marvel and follow in the universe-hopping footsteps of her idol, Captain Marvel. But even if it is proved to us that her lineage is that of powerful beings, or her grandmother was a “dreamer” with powers of her own (HEAVILY implied), Khan still gets the choice.

Does she keep the bangle and explore its possibilities even when it inevitably disrupts the family dynamic or put it back in the box in the attic so she can be a “good” girl?

Ms. Marvel is already being praised by audiences for its accurate representations across a multitude (multiverse?) of cultural and social touchpoints. It touches on what it means to be a teenager searching for identity and purpose when you look or act just a little bit different than everyone else. You don’t have to have seen many 1980s teen movies to respect the nod to Kamala comparing herself to the other girls in the high school gym.

Those who are parents have their hearts broken in this first episode by the familiar notes of Kamala completely dismissing the idea of attending AvengerCon with her father despite his exuberance and her mom’s shockingly good costume-creation skills. Being a teenager is hard, Kamala assuredly believes, and it’s compounded when your parents are drastically overprotective and cautious.

Perhaps the strongest part of the first two episodes may be the representation of Pakistani-American culture and the ethnic and familial dynamics at play. Much more than just the Illumin-Aunties, they shape and inform Kamala’s worldview in an essential way. There may be more than 500,000 Pakistani-Americans living in the United States, but Kamala almost feels like an island compared to her do-no-wrong brother and her classmates who don’t share her minority status.

All of these factors equally contribute to the ethos of Kamala Khan. She sees heroes who are different, who stand out, but who found their prominent place anyway. Kamala wants more than anything to control something about her destiny and to find her place when everything about her status has been forced upon her for her first 16 years. She, like years of Marvel female superheroes before her, just wants a choice.

What Kamala does with that choice presented to her at the end of episode one will be the narrative that drives me back for the remainder of the series.

Keep doing your thing, Kamala. Yes, you can save the world. Pursue the story you want. Her mother, in the same premiere episode speech, also implores her to focus on “your story.” Although not how her mother intends it, that is exactly what we want Kamala to do. Choose your own path and find the through-line of your story.

Bruno may have discovered in episode two that your new bangle unlocked the superhuman part of you. The way I see it, Marvel has finally unlocked what a female superhero can be.

Back in my youth, when I was a know-nothing kid who listed to this thing called the radio, we had a DJ in Houston who informed his listeners he had a definitive “summer song.” It was the song he played to usher in the coming of summer and, by doing so, it granted the convertible owners the permission to lower their car-tops, and enjoy the breeze and the beats. That song? “Your Love” by The Outfield.

Since those impressionable years, I have thought every summer, “What’s my summer song?” hoping to be inspired by some sense of memory or nostalgia to land on the one right answer. But lately, I have come to the conclusion I don’t have one summer song. Rather, I have several songs for one summer. Songs that live right on the edge of memory that I can easily recall when the weather warms up and the drinks cool down. They match the mood and culture of each summer.

Throughout the past year, something must have triggered this song in my brain, or I developed a connection with it in some way. My personal musical card catalog system filed these under “save for summer.” With the calendar officially turned to June, it’s time to dig in and retrieve those songs for the next three months. These are the summer 2022 songs I will listen to most this year.

Lovely Day by Bill Withers

Perhaps it’s because I wish summer days would last as long as Withers holds out “daaaaaaaaaaaaay” during the song’s concluding bars. But this is one of those songs I will always and forever associate with a bright, warm summer day.

No one ever mistakes this song for having multi-layered meaning or deep messages in the lyrics. It’s a simple reminder to turn to the ones you love to help through times that weigh heavily. Just as lovely days appear most often in summer, this song reminds us to let other people help us shed the winter coats of our burdens and use those close to us to overcome.

If you’re looking for the ideal time to listen to this song, start it as you’re grabbing your keys and your bag and making your way out the door. Just as the summer sun and the beautiful weather hits you at about the 20-second mark, and you’re greeted with the Withers’ silky vocals, you’ll feel like you could walk all day listening to that pop-disco fusion.

Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles

If you’re like me you were engrossed by the Get Back documentary released over Thanksgiving by Peter Jackson and Disney+. I was once again reminded of the whimsical and entangled genius of Paul McCartney and John Lennon. But Here Comes the Sun also brings the brilliance of George Harrison into play as he ironically wrote it at a very low point in Beatles history.

In the comfort of Eric Clapton’s house, as he escaped the turmoil of the Beatles and their impending breakup, Harrison would write the lyrics that expertly usher in summer and better times today just as well as they did welcoming in an unusually sunny spring in April of 1969.

Little darling
It’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling
It feels like years since it’s been here

Here comes the Sun, doo-doo-doo-doo
Here comes the Sun and I say
It’s all right

Little darling
The smiles returning to the faces
Little darling
It seems like years since it’s been here

What’s The Frequency, Kenneth? by REM

When R.E.M.’s Monster was released in September 1994, I was halfway through a 2.5-year forced “you’ll love it!” experience living in Brussels, Belgium. The tension of better job prospects and a more secure future for my dad after this overseas assignment stood against my angst and pain of being in ninth grade and away from my friends and the comfort of the states. One of my few joys during that time was music. On our TV, the only English-speaking stations were Sky Sports and MTV Europe. And since I didn’t much care for futbol, I was left with whatever musical imports made their way over from the states (along with the mandatory Euro-techno mixed in).

The first CD I ever owned was R.E.M.’s Automatic For The People, so when word made it to me that I could start my ninth-grade year with new R.E.M., nothing else mattered. When that first guitar riff hit from What’s The Frequency, Kenneth on the first track, I was transfixed. That song’s digital lines on the back of that CD were worn out from constant play on my Discman by Christmas.

This 14-year-old didn’t have a clue at the time that the song references a brutal attack on Dan Rather and is about an old guy who doesn’t understand the culture of Generation X. As someone who often felt “brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed” during that time, What’s The Frequency, Kenneth? tied me back to home. Almost thirty years later, as an old guy who now doesn’t understand my kids’ summer interests, the nostalgia hits strong with this one.

Rockaway Beach by The Ramones

No one is ever going to confuse the lyrics to Rockaway Beach for Dostoyevsky, but then again no one ever confused hanging out at the beach with graduate-level research.

Chewin’ out a rhythm on my bubble gum
The sun is out and I want some
It’s not hard, not far to reach
We can hitch a ride
To Rockaway Beach

Everyone who is tasked with driving their friends or family to the beach this summer needs what I call the “Beach Drive-Up Song.” This is the song where you turn the volume way up, roll the windows way down, and announce your presence at the beach that day.

What better option than the song by Ramones’ bassist Dee Dee Ramone which combines the influences of the Beach Boys and mid-1970s New York City punk into a crash-on-you-like-a-wave ode to summer? Ramone grew up not far from Rockaway Beach and saw it as a respite from the crazy, inner-city rock-star life. While everyone else is jamming I Wanna Be Sedated, Blitzkrieg Bop, and Sheena is a Punk Rocker on repeat, you can pull out an authentic summer Ramones song as you cruise down your nearest oceanfront avenue.

Constructive Summer by The Hold Steady

This summer, grant us all the power to drink on top of water towers

Amen, brother. This summer anthem from The Hold Steady in 2008 reminds us that summer is about endless possibilities, a chance of renewal, and that you don’t have to be some young kid with their whole future in front of them to change what side of the fence you’re on.

If the grass is, in fact, greener on the other side, get your ass over there. All you really need to improve your situation is an idea, people to build you up, and a couple of “double-whiskey-coke-no-ice” in you.

As I presently have many passions and pursuits that I would like to tackle in this literal and figurative season, Constructive Summer will remind me for the next three months that the best time to build something new is now.

Summertime by Sam Cooke

The musical theater classic written and composed by George Gershwin for Porgy and Bess may hold the record for the most recorded song in history, but Sam Cooke’s smooth as a freshly-waxed surfboard voice sets it apart.

Cooke’s 1958 rendition reminds us that livin’ should be easy in the summer, and if you’re driving too fast through the season, you might miss all the best spots to pull off to the side of the road and enjoy it. Is your daddy rich? Is your mama good-lookin’? Maybe not, but there’s nothing to worry about because one of these mornings you are going to wake up, spread your wings, and fly to the next-best-thing at the just-right place.

It’s well-documented that Cooke’s life would become much more tumultuous after the release of this song. In 1958, he divorced his then-wife and she would die in a car accident a year later. He would pay settlements to several women in subsequent years before being shot at a motel due to a dispute over a lady he brought back to his room in 1964.

The irony of the lyrics that “until that morning, there is nothing that can harm you” should remind us that we have today. Right now. This summer. Make it everything you think it should be.

Weekly TV Obsessive podcast with Caemeron Crain looking at all things television:

The TV Obsessive Channel | a podcast by TV Obsessive

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Note: This was originally 15 social media posts from December 11, 2020 thru December 25, 2020. I thought this would be a great place to compile them all and provide my definitive list on the top SNL holiday sketches ever.

I love a great number of things, but two of the things I love most are the Christmas season and Saturday Night Live.

Of course my Christmas memories are from as early as I can remember, and I have loved Saturday Night Live since even before I was allowed to watch it. It helps being a pre-teen when Chris Farley, Mike Myers, and Phil Hartman were in the cast. I am even one of the few people who believe the cast right now is brilliant, but they just have some unfortunate, lazy writing.

So this holiday season I want to try and spread some cheer by sharing my absolute favorite SNL holiday sketches from over the years. Starting tomorrow (12/11) and running through Christmas, I will count down my 15 all-time favorites, one per day until Christmas, with just a little commentary about each.

It will be a combination of sketches, songs, and digital shorts, hopefully encapsulating not just the types of holiday content SNL puts out, but also as many iterations of the cast as possible.

While holiday sketches have been part of the show since the very first year (1975), they have increased in frequency over the past 15 years, so there may be a slight skew towards those years. But rest assured, we will get every decade in there.

To tide you over until tomorrow, here are some honorable mentions that won’t make the top 15, including the great “Holiday Jewelry” digital short (video below) from 2017. Let’s do better than that this year, husbands.

(you can search for most of these on Youtube)

“Motivational Santa” (RIP Chris Farley)

“Jingle Barack” (tell me this doesn’t look like it was made in the 80’s)

“Christmas Surprise” (love me some classic Kristin Wiig)

“Glenngary Glen Christmas” (Alec Baldwin pre-Trump!)

“Consumer Probe” (the first truly great Christmas sketch)

“Serial: Christmas Surprise” (skip it if you haven’t listened to the Serial podcast)

“Sump’n Claus”

“Dysfunctional Family Christmas” (today’s kids will never know the joy of a 30-minute infomercial for a collection of songs)

And here are two that are not safe for work or for my parents, in-laws, or grandparents to watch:

“Twin Bed” — would be in the top five if I wasn’t too embarrassed to write about it

“Elf on the Shelf” — God help me when my son turns 13…

SNL Christmas Sketch Countdown: #15

“Wish it was Christmas today”

In what was supposed to originally be just a silly time-filler, this catchy ear-worm of a song has now been performed at least seven times on SNL, all with the same quartet. (We shall pretend the one with Ariana Grande does not exist)

It has been covered, analyzed, had think-pieces written about it, and has come dangerously close to entering Christmas music canon. Pretty strange for a song with fake dinosaur sounds and the lyric “All I know is that Santa’s sleigh is making its way to the U.S.A.”.

It’s been performed with costumes, with Muppets, with different lyrics, and it remains just as weird now than it when it first aired almost 20 years ago today. I love it.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #14

“Stefon’s Tips for the Holidays”

Stefon is DEFINITELY an acquired taste, but he had a significant presence on the show, appearing 21 times over a 10-year period. The character really starts to take on a new meaning when you learn that Bill Hader wouldn’t get to see the final lines and cue cards for his appearance until the live show. He is famous for breaking during these scenes, but it’s primarily because he was reading the lines for the very first time.

This was Stefon’s last holiday appearance, and he saved some of his best material for this one.

As hard as I have looked, I have never been able to find a Menorah The Explorer show on TV…

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown #13:

“Hillary Actually”

This one is both timely and nostalgic right now.

Besides Die Hard, there may be no more hotly-debated Christmas movie than Love Actually. Is it good? Does it try too hard to tug at heart strings? Do some of the storylines even make sense?

The movie is an annual watch for Allison and me, and we often find ourselves quoting it to each other throughout the year.

“Just in cases…”

SNL’s take on it finds Hillary Clinton using Andrew Lincoln’s recruitment tactics to try and convince electors back in 2016 to not vote for Donald Trump. Sounds a little too familiar, right?

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #12

“Homelessville”/”Wrappinville”

I was shocked to relearn that the original sketch in this series (“Omleteville”) is now more than 17 years old!! Some version of it has been performed six times, most recently with Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon in “Wrappinville.”

That most recent one and “Homelessville” were two holiday iterations and you can take your pick of what you like more. Do you enjoy JT screwing up and breaking character? “Homelessville” is for you. If you prefer the JT/Fallon bromance with some awkward jokes about “sacking the deck,” you want “Wrappinville”.

To me, they are both classics and light years better than their sister sketches “Plasticville” and “Veganville.”

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #11

“Christmas Candle”

This mock music video has a very mid-90’s feel to it which is a time that hits on the nostalgia feels for me. When I was growing up in that time frame, we had boxes stacked up in the storage room, and they would only get use once a year. They were household items my parents had picked up across the years that did not have a use in our house.

Every holiday season, my mom would wrap a few of them and have them stored near the front door. I soon learned these were the presents that were ready for people who gifted us something when we weren’t expecting it.

Friends bring a gift by unexpectedly? Have a box.

Out to lunch with someone and they bring a present? Have a box.

White elephant exchange at a party? Have a box.

Enter “Christmas Candle,” which celebrates the proven strategy of holding gifts in reserve that you can easily re-gift or pass on to someone when you don’t have anything else for them.

Our wrapped boxes were DEFINITLEY of better quality than the Christmas Candle, but the message of the song is the same…

“It’s the gift of having a gift to give away.” Plus, Kate McKinnon’s hair is a gift to us all.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #10

“Christmastime for the Jews”

First things first. Does this come from a time (2005) when our culture was less sensitive about stereotypes than we are today? Undoubtedly. There are some borderline insensitive things in here — check out the representation of the servers at the Chinese restaurant that look they are taken right out of “A Christmas Story.”

But somehow, SNL was able to convince the original queen of Christmas music herself — Darlene Love — to sing a song on top of a fake Rankin/Bass animation about what Jews might do during Christmas when everyone else is at home celebrating.

It’s a funny concept if you think about it, and they certainly hit the high notes with ideas of going out for Chinese food and watching a movie with no waiting in line. I think part of the lasting impact of this sketch is the shock factor when you see it for the first time.

“Wait, you can’t sing a song about that!” Well, they did.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #9

“Christmas Duets”

I am not usually a fan of the “let’s just put everyone on camera to do their impressions” bit, but this one brings Michael Buble in on the joke that he is one of the people who we thaw out every holiday season so we can revisit his music.

He genuinely looks like he is trying to record a Christmas album with this parade of misfits and Buble’s frustration and exasperation sells it.

Props for the deep cuts (and now not so timely references) like Scotty McCreery. Plus. Jimmy Fallon’s Justin Bieber impression is a perfect caricature of a human caricature.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #8

“Chanukah Song 1” and “Chanukuh Song 3”

There are actually four different versions of this song, recorded at different times for different audiences, but the two performed on SNL stand apart (search Youtube for Chanukuh song part 3).

This song has become such an integral part of the holiday zeitgeist in the last 25 years that it’s easy to forget it really did have a socially relevant impact.

It was intended to be about much more than drinking your-gin-and-tonic-a, but rather reminding pop culture that there are other holidays happening right now besides just Christmas.

So while you still may not know who Bowser from Sha Na Na is, this sketch still stands out as one of the best ever.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #7

“Twas the Night Before Christmas”

Imagine you are a child, and one Christmas Eve while your crotchety old grandfather sits down for his annual reading of “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” he begins editorializing about stand your ground laws in California and the high suicide rate around the holidays.

With these thoughts in your head, you have the essence of the monologue by John Malkovich in December 2008. What makes this over-the-top great is he actually delivers it to children and we get their emotionless reaction to stories about Pai Natal who will eat their toes.

May your Christmas be just a little bit merrier than these stories.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #6

“Santa’s My Boyfriend”

A note before we start these last six entries. I would say three of them are no-doubt-about-it pantheon of SNL holiday sketches and three of them are maybe not at that level but are more of a personal favorite of mine.

It’s my list, what are you gonna do?

This one definitely falls on the personal preference side, and has been one I revisit every year. As my wife can confirm, we have almost had to look for counseling a few times because of my crushes on Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, and Kate McKinnon. With two-thirds of them in this sketch plus how much I love Amy Poehler from SNL and Parks and Rec, it was bound to be near the top for me.

When these three powerhouses get together to sing a classy, catchy song about some naughty-list things about their fling with Santa, you get SNL gold.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #5

“Mr. Robinson’s Christmas”

Only in Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood would you find someone trying to scam you with a Cabbage Patch doll with a head made of cabbage. One of the best recurring sketches in SNL history, the holiday version deserves its place among the top holiday offerings as well.

Eddie Murphy — who joined the cast at 19 years old — remains one of the most talented cast members ever and his Mr. Robinson sketches still live on in relevancy 35 years later.

When so many of SNL’s holiday sketches represent some slice of white Americana Christmas, it’s at least interesting to see this take on an underprivileged Christmas.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #4

“Schweddy Balls”

A note before we go forward. If the word “mother” in any way applies to your relationship with me (mother, grandmother, mother-in-law, Virgin mother) please forgive me for two of these last four sketches. It takes a high level of immaturity to find humor in the nude male form and you just might not be there yet.

Anyway, good old Pete Schweddy and his holiday balls.

This sketch and the Wamapoke County bit from Parks and Rec always crack me up with their spooks of NPR, but the SNL version with Ana Gasteyer, Molly Shannon, and Alec Baldwin takes it to another level.

SNL head honcho Lorne Michaels famously fought to keep this sketch in the first half hour of the show back in 1998. Typically, the more mature sketches were stuck in the late night slots. He knew audiences trailed off as the show went along, but he was sure this would be a hit. And he was right.

This sketch is part of holiday iconography now and has become ultra-famous for its spot-on take of public radio. Enjoy sinking your teeth into some holiday balls this year.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #3

“Best Christmas Ever”

This sketch attained instant classic status two years ago when Matt Damon and Cecily Strong sat down at the end of a long Christmas day to talk about why it was the Best Christmas Ever.

As the parent of a 13- and 9-year old, this hits home because the lead-up and anticipation for Christmas often gives way to the insanity of the day when December 25th actually arrives. It often feels like a major event that requires eight weeks to organize that you know from the beginning is not going to go as planned when it happens.

Have I stayed awake all night building something? Yes

Have our kids woken us up before 6 AM on Christmas? Yes

Have there been enough inappropriate comments from elder relatives to fill a novel? Oh, Yes

But at the end of the day, parents can at least sit down in a quiet house and say “we survived.” That’s often the best thing about Christmas for a parent — that you made it happen one more time.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #2

“D*** in a Box”

You know what the Emmy Awards are, right? They are the premier awards show for television, recognizing the best in all things small screen in a particular year.

It’s important to know, no matter what you think about this sketch, that IT. WON. AN. EMMY. A song about putting male genitalia in a gift box and giving it as a Christmas present won an Emmy.

Drawing inspiration from any number of early 90’s R&B music videos (Color Me Badd’s “Earth, The Sun, The Rain” is a good example), Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake absolutely stick the landing in mimicking the genre.

This song was so popular, it spawned two spinoffs (research on your own, please) and launched the career of Lonely Island, the Samberg-led group with five albums, a couple movies, and multiple Emmy and Grammy nominations.

But on this Christmas Eve, as our families begin to gather, I hope you are able to receive as much joy as the two ladies in this video. May the gift of this sketch bring you warmth and cheer, and my wish is that all of your boxes are filled with the things that will make you happy.

SNL Holiday Sketch Countdown: #1

“Winter Wonderland”

Certainly falling into the category of “personal favorite” as opposed to “SNL classic,” this is usually a video that kicks off the holiday season in our house.

In his best Otis Redding impression, Garrett Morris (who should have sung every week) and the rest of the original 1975 cast sing a soulful and fun version of the Christmas classic that, in less than three minutes, mirrors the make-up and paradigm of that first group. The ladies (Radner, Curtin, Newman, plus help from host Candice Bergen) are tight, talented, and harmonious while the guys (Chase, Akroyd, Belushi) play the role of goof balls, prioritizing the playfulness over the performance.

Besides “Consumer Probe,” there are not too many classic Christmas sketches from the 70’s, but for SNL buffs, this representation of the entire cast is a highlight of that group as they sought to find their footing and place in the show.

How I know this is a great sketch is it is one where you can decide to either watch it or listen to it and it’s equally great with either. Just like this song sets the stage for our annual holiday season, this first troupe set the stage for what would become almost 45 years of classics that stand the test of time.

I hope you enjoy watching it, especially if it’s your first time. Merry Christmas everyone and thanks for going through this journey with me!

• Ryan Kirksey (@ryankirksey on twitter, @kirkseycomics on instagram)