The short on being a mom...

~There is never enough time in a day. Never enough time to pack, unpack, clean, pay bills, play, walk the dog, work, relax.......We are in the new house, and close on the sale of the old house Friday. Both have caused a roller coaster of emotions and stress. While it was a little sad to leave the house we started our lives together, I am loving our new house, neighborhood and proximity to family. It will be an amazing place to raise Carsten. I am fully ready to be done with boxes, and dirt, appointments for deliveries and installs.

~Guilt. I've always been overly sensitive about most things, so it's no surprise that now that I'm a mom I'm finding myself guilty over everything. I feel guilty if I take time for myself, but know that if I stay happy, I will be a better mom. I wish I had more time/energy to walk Watson, play with him like I did in the past. I feel bad when I have to run errands or do things around the house and have to drag C around with me. I wonder if he is getting enough sleep, and if he is growing/learning/developing on schedule. I know this is a bit silly to do as all babies do things in their own time. I wonder if the months I struggled with post-partum will effect him, fully knowing he doesn't remember my tears and feelings of helplessness. I feel guilty when I give him formula! Instead of celebrating the fact that I have done the hard work to maintain a supply of breastmilk for him so that I am still breastfeeding him at 8 months over 95% of the time!

~Relationships. Relationships change after a baby. All relationships. I believe I now have a stronger relationship with my parents, sisters, friends who are parents, because I now get it. There is no love stronger than the love a mother or father has for their child. And I really now understand the lengths my parents would go for me...because I would do the same for my son. My marriage is evolving. We have gone from being only two to three. Our relationship has shifted in order to raise a tiny human, and it is work every day to keep eachother just as important as the new man in our life. We will be stronger in the end. Friendships...those little things I always treasured so much. After a baby, the work it takes to keep friendships in tact is more difficult. I can't drop everything in an instant to meet for a brunch, or a movie, or a happy hour. Everything has to be planned and mapped...and I guess it makes me seem less fun and less available. I planned a lunch with some work friends on my birthday just so I wouldn't have to eat alone. At my desk. I would be lying if I said some days aren't a little lonely.

~Sleep. I miss it. A. Lot. But then there are the nights that I lay awake, hoping he starts moving so I can steal another 10 minutes with him.

~Work. My priorities have shifted. I don't want to be someones boss, or climb the ladder. I don't want to change the direction of a company or change the world. I don't want to be a slave to my job, I like my new part time schedule. I want to be a mom. I want to be there for his first word, first step, first day at kindergarten. I want to be his hero...his mommy.

~Love...there are no words powerful enough to express the way I feel when I hold him in my arms. Squeeze his neck, kiss his cheecks, smell his head, take in all of his wonderfulness.

 

It's no lie to say being a parent is the hardest job in the world...but it is also the most rewarding!

 

"For now...you are all mine. And I am ALL yours.

Live Large.

Dream Big.

Love Hard.

Be Kind. To everyone and everything.

Do what makes you happy. Never stop smiling.

Have fun. Always. Explore. Teach. Learn.

And never, ever forget how loved you are!"

We have been really busy getting ready to move, and selling the old house! It is more work than I ever would have expected, but we are almost there! Moving day is Saturday! In between work and the move we have managed to have a little fun. We have spent time with friends and family. Ernest and Jennette's son, Eli, turned one, so we couldn't miss his birthday! So excited to see these two in a few years, although if they are anything like Scott and Ernest, we are in for some trouble!

Scott's Grandpa turned 80 and they had a nice party for him. Sharon, Amy and Phil all came to visit. We had so much fun spending time with everyone, playing cards, shopping at Ikea, and celebrating the birthday! Carsten got to sport his tie for a few, and play with his cousin's! They are all getting too big too fast! 

Spring!!

 Spring is turning out to be very busy for us, and it is going to get much busier!! We are only three weeks until we close on our new house! We are so anxious to see the finished work on our house and to be closer to my family! And just in time for summer!! Which means plenty of pool and cousin time for Carsten and I!

Easter came early this year, but we had fun planning or at least I did. Here are the baskets. Carsten's was done three weeks before Easter (I was a little excited)! And of course I put one together for Scott and Watson.

 Boys in the bunny ears from Nana!

 And of course Spring means Baseball so we took Carsten to his first Rockies game! And he made it on the Jumbotron!! Who doesn't love a cute baby though!

 Scott's mom, Sharon, came to visit and take care of Carsten while my mom was in Florida for the arrival of baby Charlotte! Carsten had a great time with her and we wish they were closer. During that week we took a quick trip up to visit her family in Eaton. We had fun visiting and getting all the new babies together! So many baby boys!!

 Can't get enough of these cheeks and that beautiful handsome smile!

And another monthly picture with my boys wondering why on earth I am torturing them so!!

Six months has brought out his personality for sure! He is a very happy baby! All smiles and giggles. He still loves his bath, but hates getting out. He goes down at night pretty easy as long as he is awake when we put him in his crib, he will talk and play for a bit and fall asleep great on his own! If we put him down when he is already asleep he ends up waking up within a half hour and is not too happy! He has found that sleeping on his side is pretty comfy, and his morning nap is his favorite. Listening to him talk and screech is so much fun, and we are pretty sure we know his first word will start with a W (Watson)! :)

Five months!

 "This again!!??!! Really mom" I can read this on both of their faces! Watson is still Carsten's favorite thing. All smiles and giggles for the dog!

We started solids in February! Carrots were the first, along with rice cereal, it only took him a few days to get into it!

 He started sticking his toungue out to mimic us, it was pretty funny! And it was over as oon as it started. So funny how they learn new things so quickly and then move right on to the next trick!

He's a pretty lucky guy with a lot of Aunts, whether they are his Aunts by blood, or adopted! :)

And during this month we celebrated his first St Patricks day. Who knew you couldn't bring a baby to a casino? With both his parents, and grandparents! We are definitely learning something new every day! Should I add being kicked out of his first casino to the baby book?

February 23-March 22nd, 2013

Four Months

 Four months already! Not sure where the time is going! Each day with Carsten seems to be just a little sweeter than the last, and rolled all together he has made life so amazing! In his fourth month we did a few of the things I already mentioned, his first stock show, first Valentines, but he is also reaching milestones like crazy!!! This is the month that he really started to get really good at reaching for toys. At first it was an uncoordinated reach, but by the end of the month he was really grasping for his toys. I got my first giggle when I came home from work one day...my heart literally melted!! And he rolled over for the first time from his back to front with both Scott and I there to witness it!

This month he has really loved his hands. He brings them to his mouth constantly and Scott and I would sit and watch him as he would play in his crib before falling asleep on the monitor. He would bring his hands up and just look at them above his little face. He would also shake his head back and forth as if he was trying not to fall asleep!!! As weird as it is, I LOVE watching him on the monitor. It's so neat to see the little boy this baby is turning into. To see him able to entertain himself and take in the world around him is so incredible.

On February 22, 2013 he had his third round of shots. He did pretty darn good, crying when it happened but he settled right down! He is still my tall skinny boy, in the 75th percentile for height at 25 3/4", and 28th percentile for weight at 14lb, 6oz. I swear every time I put a pair of pants on him for only the second or third time they are too short! He will be tall and slender just like his dad!

 He still loves his dog!!

 And I swear, this is the cutest Valentine ever!

His shirt might say he's eligible, but right now he is all ours!!
January 23rd-February 22nd, 2013



Three Months

 Carsten is growing like a weed! Way too fast, but we are loving each moment and taking all of the changes in! Each day he is learning something new and it is so amazing to watch!

His third month we were able to celebrate his first Christmas! He was spoiled!! However, he slept through Cole and Davis opening their gifts so we showed him what he got a little later. Of course just watching his cousins was more fascinating than any toys he got! Right after Christmas we really realized how our life has changed, we rung in the new year by being asleep by 9! Mid-January I had to go back to work. My first week back wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be, it was the week before that I broke down every time I thought about it! Leaving him with my parents has made it so much easier. We feel so lucky to have their help and know that he will have such a bond with them both! One of Scott's highlights from Carsten's third month of life would have to be taking him to his first Sportsman's Expo. I'm sure he can't wait until he can buy him his first fishing pole!

This month he also started bringing his hands to his mouth and blowing raspberries, and he is getting so much stronger on his belly!!!

 And we of course spent some time cheering for the Broncos!

Living the life!

Life is seriously so great right now with little C in it! We are definitely having so much fun watching him grow and having him a part of our family! But it seems to be passing way too fast!!! He is four months old already!!!

 

Back in December, before he was even two months old, we took him on his first flight to visit family on Scott's side. His dad had qualified a horse for the Two Million Futurity and flew the three of us out there along with Scott's sisters. We had a great visit! Carsten got to experience the race track for the first time, see his first horse and meet a lot of family all in three short days. The late nights were definitely a little tough on him, and me as well, but all in all it was a great trip!

I think he is by far the cutest jockey I have ever seen!

 Sadly, we didn't get our camera out nearly enough!!! And because of this it meant no pictures with his Aunts on the Casselman side. Hopefully I get better at this again some day. And I am fully blaming the ease of taking pictures with an iphone, too bad the quality is never great!

 

Right after we got home we celebrated our first Christmas together as a family. He slept through Cole and Davis opening their presents and didn't show much interest in his. The cousins are far more interesting than toys at this point!

 In early January we got to experience another one of our favorite traditions, the Stock show! And it was so fun to share it with him. We hadn't planned on taking him to the rodeo, but Scott went away ice fishing for the weekend so I went with mom, Robin and the boys. Last minute we decided to stay for the rodeo after we had walked around looking at all the booths!! He couldn't take his eyes off the rodeo ring. He even stayed awake almost the entire time, he fell asleep right before the bull riding!!

 But that was ok, as he had already done some bull riding for himself!! Yes he is there right in front of me on that massive bull!

 And just a few weeks ago we got to celebrate our first Valentine's day with our greatest love!!!

Life with him is so amazing. There aren't really words to describe it. Every day, every moment with him is a little sweeter!