One Year down...5 Months, 2 weeks and 5 days to go;)

So...a year ago today...was the 2nd worst day of my life (the FIRST being the day of the accident)! I read my post from a year ago explaining to everyone in my BLOG list where my husband was...you can read that post HERE!  I started today off forgetting it was one years since sentencing.  What triggered my memory was during my walk this morning, I called to wish Ivana a Happy Birthday.  After getting off the phone with her, I remembered that it was also Rachel's Birthday.  Then the memory clicked that last year on Rachel's Birthday, she took the day off and came to support Lee and I on the day of his sentencing. And that I needed to send her a thank you/I love you message on Facebook.  So that kind of set the tone for today, and I have been "futtless" ever since (futless is a random Laie word that means basically Honory (spelling?) and if you dont know what that means than I cant help you lol).  All the memories came flooding back and the feelings came too...the feelings of helplessness, pain, sorrow and shock.  What was I going to do without my husband for 18 months? How was he going to survive being in prison for that long? So many things running through my mind...my fears...disappoitments...hurt...pain...and then I started crying.  Well more like sobbing. Im sure I was quite a sight...sweaty, red in the face, snot runing down my chin from crying like a baby...all while Kayla was pulling me down Temple road like a rag doll.  I finished my two miles, wiped my face and just shut it off...the emotions, tears, pain EVERYTHING.  It's like I have a switch and when it gets too pianful I just turn it off and I become numb.  I pretty much forgot about that mornings breakdown by the time Lee called me that afternoon.  And I was telling him that I was just FUTLESS that day and I couldn't figure out why and then it CLICKED...duh that's why I was feeling this way!!! Then we had a good talk and reminisced how we really didn't know if we'd last a YEAR...and WE HAVE.  I was focusing on how miserable last year was and totally ignored at that fact that we are MORE than half way done!!! It just brought everything into perspective to me and suddenly I didn't feel so futless anymore;) This is why we are supposed to be married...this is why I chose Lee...because he helps me see what I can't and won't see when Im in a certaing state of mind.  And I do the same for him.  Our communication skills have just developed so much over the last year and we have really worked hard to stay connected in our mariage. Life isn't perfect...or easy...or fair but if we are lucky enough to find someone to stick it out with us...through thick and thin...than we are truly blessed.  This last year has been a difficult one but I know that by this time next year, I will look back on this year and say WE MADE IT!!!  For all of you who have prayerd for us, called, wrote, emailed or lended a shoulder to lean on during this past year THANK YOU...we love and appreciate you more than you ever know.

Katrina's Surprise Birthday FIESTA!

Katirna is my dearest friend and neighbor and was turnign the big 3-0 this year.  So her husband Mike, Theresa K and I conspired to throw her a surprise FIESTA!  Let me tell you that it was the most difficult two weeks of my life to keep this secret from Katrina.  I see here several times a day and was actually avoiding long conversations with her so nothign would slip and boy was that hard!

Even harder was to sneakily communicate with Mik and let me tell you that was AWKWARD hahahahaha...but so worth it because she was totally surprised and so deserves an awesome party.  Not just because she wore that horrific sombrero (heehee) but because she is the most thoughtful, caring, loving and supportive friend, Mom and wife that I know!!!

The Kalama's came ready to FIESTA!!!

We all had spanish names...mine was MIBISITA! One of the men there was named "Arturo de chilli con carne" or something like that I didn't know his real name so I kept call him ARTURO all night and you know I don't want to know his real name because I like Arturo;P

Mike and Katrina LOVE palying games so they taught us one called "House of Fire" and boy was it fun!  You see how intently all of us were listening....becasue we all wanted to WIN! LOL  Needless to say I lost but ARturo and I were partners a few times and were on a terrible losing streak:P

We weren't "allowed" to bring presetns so instead I got KAtrina the most amazing Birthdya Cheesecake from teh Cheesecake Factory.  She LOVES peanut butter (i knew we were kindred spirits) and they ahd two different PB cheesecakes...Adams and Reeses to I got both and can you jut say EEEVVVIIILLLL?????  The wind was so strong Rachel ahd to use her Poncho to help light the candles;)

EEEEVVVVIILLLLL....you see the semi crazed look in Katrina's eyes as she hovers over that cheesecake???  (Hee Hee...love you Katrina!)

It was probaobly the best B-day party I have ever been to and the best part was when Katrina had to smash the pinata she is holding in her hands. I will post the vidoe soon!

Lisa came with me and even though she was surrounded by old farts she had a blast and was even a good sport and wore the huge sombrero for me!

Happy Birthday Katrina...thanks for being a wonderful friend, confidant and example to me.  I love you to pieces and I hope we can celebrate your 60th Birthday together!!!

Happy Birthday Jocelyn and Jadelyn

My favorite people ever...the LOPEZ family...celebrated Mom and Jadelyn's Birthday with us at the Cheesecake factory!

This was Lisa's first time to TCF and she was very excited!!!

Notice I just have a very small bowl of salad in front of me while everyone else had huge plates of fatty food???  BWAHAHAHA...whatever I totally picked off of everyone plate:)

The Birthday girls with their cheesecakes...I just love Jocelyn so much...I got to know her because her daughter Jasmine was my Beehive and then I was called as her visitng teacher.  We have become amazing friends and our visits always last at least an hour becuase we are laughing and talking so much. 

The Lopez girls...happy...

...and FULL!!!!!!!! LOL

I just have to point out that my clothes are super baggy in this picture...Im not bragging...just amazed at how I think something looks like ti fits and looks good and then I see a picture and Im like WOW time for some new clothes:P

Welcome Home Lisa...

I have a ton of more pictures but wanted to get a few up already...my niece LISA has come to stay with me for the summer.  She just graduated from Baker High in Alabama as Salutatorian (aka 2nd in her class) and is here to have tons of fun before starting College at BYU Provo in the fall!

This was my parents graduation gift to fly ehr here for the summer and staying iwth me!  Mom, Lisa dn I spent a night in Waikiki just hanging out.  This is us at Chili's for dinner!

We walked around Waikiki for an hour and saw some fun street performers...then came home to this awesome view!

We actually came home and watched the finale for GLEE...YES I finally have someone who appreciates the show as much r maybe more than I do;) Than came outside to admire the view!

Me and Mom in front of the waterfall in the Hyatt Regency...Horrible picture of me (why do I bend forward in pictures all the time??? I know its not my most flattering post but oh well:P) but super cute one of my Mom!

I am so excited to have Lisa here and to get to know her better and have a LOT OF FUN!

Kayla the SUPER NANNY!

I had my best firends baby over the other day and she just LOVES Kayla...I think Kayla watches her more than I did;)

I love how gentle and protective Kayla is with her!

I was getting Laie a drink and then came back in to the living room to see her lying on Kaylas butt and petting her back paw!  How many dogs will let a little baby do this huh???

Laie spent a good 30 minutes just lounging on Kayla and Kayla just laid there and let her.  I love having my frineds children in my life and that I ahve a dog that loves them too;)

May Day

Savannah left right before May Day :( But I went to see my favorite little girls perform.  Makenna looks adorable in her costume.  I

Whitneys class had Englad as a theme and she was a school teacher...I love her in that wig:)

Katrina and I ran down to the front to take pictures and video of the girls and they were SOOOOO cute!  Makenna got to be front and center for a good part of the performance!

Here is Whitney leading her "class" on a museum tour of Englands famous musicians and history!

My best firends daughter, Ocean, was part ofthe Robin Hood portion of Englands history...there dance was really cute!

Brinny Boo posing in front of a tiki statue showim me her pretty dress;)

I just love these girls and are so grateful to be their Aunty!

Aloha to my Babies...

This is a pictureof Lee's Mom when she graduated from HS and Savannahs school picture.  They look a lot alike, which doesn't surprise me because Lee is the spitting image of his Mom:)

I took the kids to Chuck-E-Cheese before heading to the airport so they can get all there energy out:)



Savannah with Grandma and Uncle Robert!

Little Jacky on his favortie ride:)

It was sad to say goodbye to the kids...especially Savannah...but it was for the best that they moved back to Utah.  Hindsight is 20/20 and there are some things I would have done differently but I am grateful to have had the kids in my life and spend so much time with them.  Savannah will be home next summer and life will be as it should be with me, her and Daddy having lots of fun and making tons of memories!