Day Two: The Horse and Her Girl

The loud mooing of cows ushered in the second day of our journey. Stuart and I woke up early and laughed as the cows conversed loudly with each other. I've never had a cow alarm clock, but it was pretty fun. As we were giggling sleepily Stuart said, "You know, I wouldn't mind so much if they were actually saying something, but it's just noise."

After a great breakfast of waffles and bacon we headed down the street to Jodi's parent's house where Jodi keeps her horses. Claire was beside herself at the thought of riding a horse. She squealed with glee like it was Christmas morning. Jeremiah was his usual quiet and reserved self about the unknown of horseback riding.

Jodi's husband Mike had gone ahead of us so when we got there our horses were already saddled. Jeremiah got to go first on Rosie. Sweet, old Rosie. I had ridden her 8 years ago and even tried to ride barrels with her. I led Rosie and Jeremiah out to the ring where Jodi gave Jeremiah riding lessons. After about 5 minutes she left and Jeremiah was riding by himself. I was proud of Jeremiah as he is often hesitant about trying "scary" things. He said he was having fun but his face was pretty much expressionless so it was hard to tell.

Jeremiah gets ready to ride Rosie

Then it was Claire's turn to ride Rosie. She could not have been any happier. She kept saying things like, "I can't believe I'm riding a horse by myself!" or "I love horses so much, I've always wanted to ride." As Claire has gotten older it has been harder to catch those "pure joy" smiles on camera but we got one this time. She was in heaven.

The Girl and Her Horse--happy as can be.

I got to ride Rosie's son, Buddy. Anyway, Jodi took Jeremiah on her horse and Claire and I rode our own horses out into the fields, crossing streams and walking through long grass. It was fantastic. Jodi let Claire ride around the practice ring for barrels. Before Jodi had even explained what they were Jodi said, "Hey Rebecca, take a look at your girl." Claire had taken her horse off and was trying to make Rosie go around the barrels. So Jodi rode over and gave her some barrel racing lessons.


As I watched I couldn't help but wonder for a second if maybe I had missed Claire's true love. I wondered if perhaps we should have been ranchers so my daughter could have grown up among horses and been happy among them. But it does little good to dwell on such thoughts as you can only do what life brings you. Stuart and I were not raised in the country among horses so there was no chance my kids would be exposed to them. I just found it fascinating that Claire was so enthralled by it all. She's mentioned she likes horses before, but never shown an obsession with them. But even if it was just a love for a day, it was wonderful to see her so joyous.


After our ride we took our sore bodies and watched Claire flip around on the trampoline. She loved showing her tricks to anyone willing to watch and I enjoyed just hanging out with my friend. And then it was time to go back, and pack up to head on to the next part of our journey, which I'll write about next.

Day One: Friendly Reunion

Our family recently got back from a 2 week vacation out west. Having not been back to Utah or Idaho for 8 years we finally decided to go as we had the time and most importantly the courage to drive ourselves and our 2 energetic children there.

We made the trip to Utah in 18 hours driving straight through with stops only for gas and potty breaks. Meals were eaten in the car. Thankfully we were smart enough to have purchased a portable DVD player with dual screens to keep the kids happy. Since our children let us know repeatedly that they are deprived of TV, this influx of visual media kept them happy for most of the trip.

I am hoping to blog about this trip in several installations. We all know if I tried to blog a 2 week trip in one posting I would hit some sort of character limitation so I figure small installments are best.

Day One is dedicated to my friend Jodi. We arrived in Kamas, UT (or as my husband calls it "horse country") Friday night. My kids were beside themselves as they spilled out of the car. "Mom, mom!" Jeremiah yelled. "Are those REAL cows?!" I assured him they were very real and perhaps would be sponsoring part of our breakfast in the morning. So while Claire and Jeremiah oohed and ahhed over REAL cows, Stuart and I unloaded the car. I called Jodi an let her know we were in and she let us know she would be home soon.

Until then my kids ran around while Stuart and I enjoyed the chilly air. No humidity! Finally Jodi arrived and it was great. I was so excited to see her. You know how sometimes in life you just get those kind of friends--the kind that you know you'll always be close to? That's Jodi. She was truly my BFF when we were living in Provo. When I found out we were moving to Idaho, Jodi was the person I knew I'd miss the most. She laughed with me over my Angus beef blunder (a story worthy of it's own post), and still claimed to know me. We had serious talks, shed tears together, worked together, laughed together. It was one of those friendships you hope you get to keep on having.

Admittedly it was very hard for me to move away. But now that I'm old and wise I've learned that friends like this are the kind you always do have. It doesn't matter if you live by each other for 2 years or 20. Friends like this are always close. We can sit down and talk like we had seen each other yesterday and pick up where we left off. She's great. I was so glad we got the chance to spend some time together. I busted up as I went downstairs Saturday morning because there we were, both in jeans and a brown shirt, looking identical. Stuart just shook his head, chuckling. Great fun. I miss her. She is a rock for me and I'm grateful for her and all my other rocks that help me get through the rough parts of life and enjoy the good with me as well.

Thanks Jodi. Here's to memories of Raincloud, Lame, Swedish Fish, Volleyball, Leather Pants and Bullet.

Battle for the Bowl

If you've ever raised a child then you know when a 5 year old says, "I gotta go", you find a potty fast. You find one even faster if in addition to the comment they're dancing around as if their bare feet are walking on live coals.

So last night when Jeremiah runs off the bench in the middle of his baseball game and says he has to go potty, we take off for the bathrooms, helmet and all. If my son is willing to miss his at-bat, he has got to go.

I book it to the concession stands and grab the key to unlock the door. We race up to the bathroom door, start to insert the key noticing someone was already in there, when a large boy, probably age 9 or 10 sporting blue lips, no doubt from concession stand slushies, says, "Um, I'm next in line."

I am not sure where the boy has come from but I look at him doing no potty dance and look at my son who is burning his lunch off rather quickly from his dancing, and say, "Well, my son is little and has to go really, really bad. He's also in the middle of a game. So can you let him go next?" The boy tilts his head, eyes rolling upward as if pondering this, then replies, "Um, no."

Shocked was a descriptive understatement. I never even considered "no" as a valid option. Had to hand it to him. He had some moxy to even say no to an adult. Unfortunately he said no to a mother whose boy was about to water his surroundings and was in no mood to acquiese to a blue lipped, non-dancing 10 year old boy.

"Do you really need to go? Because if not, my son needs to go next so that he doesn't wet his pants. So do you think you could let him go?" "Ummmmmm, no."

Now I'm just irritated. He hadn't been in line when we got there so in my book, he lost his place. As the door opened I pushed Jeremiah in the bathroom and closed the door. Negotiations were over. It took Jeremiah 5 seconds, yes I counted, to be done. As we left, I went back out and was about to tell the boy "thanks" and something like, "see, that didn't take long." but the boy was no where around.

Jeremiah took off running to the game and I spotted the boy playing on the playground. He didn't go back over to the bathroom. Just kept playing. I just shook my head, returned the key, and hoped this boy would someday find himself dancing outside a potty asking for cutzies and having someone reply, "Ummmmmm, no!"

Comparisons

I remember the childhood ritual of comparison well. That dreaded, "What did you get?" question from all your friends after Christmas, Easter, birthdays and even Halloween. Only with Halloween it was more like, "How much did you get? I got 2 pillowcases full."

Perhaps it wasn't a dreaded question for you. I'd bet then that you were the kid who initiated the asking because you were one of the cool kids who got an Atari and new cool games like Moon Patrol to go with it. Either that or you had great self esteem and didn't worry at all about what others said. For me it was more of a dreaded question. I knew my gifts paled in comparison to the new Esprit outfits and Guess purses my friends showed up in.

But it wasn't the paling that made me dread the question. It was how some kids made you feel about it. I was always content with whatever I got. I was happy with my imitation Cabbage Patch doll and Pop Rocks. My holidays were fun and special and I enjoyed them.

Then I'd arrive at school and the comparisons began. I usually managed to hang on the outskirts of the conversations, listening but hopefully not participating because I didn't like hearing, "That's it?" or the unimpressed, "Oh." The slighted comments hurt because I liked my gifts and the words made them seem unimportant. I wanted the gifts to still feel important to me and so I tried to avoid the comparison game. Had my friends been like, "That's totally rad!" about my gifts, I probably would have joined in, but unfortunately that wasn't the system.

This morning Claire bounded down the stairs and said, "So mom! Last night at gymnastics Alice and I compared birthday gifts. I told her I got 3 water bottles and a new leotard. Then Alice told me that she got an Ipod touch, a Wii, a DS, and a bunch of stuff."

For a moment our eyes linked. I could see that she was me, 25 years ago, excited about gifts, but then realizing there was a whole different league which she was not in and had not understood. I felt an ache for a moment as I realized she had lost the sparkle about the water bottles. It was a gift that was meant to provide humor, and it did at the time. Claire has lost every water bottle she's ever had. She loses them like first graders lose teeth. So we wrapped up 3 water bottles and only gave them to her at first, so she'd wonder if all she was getting was water bottles. It was fun to watch her open one water bottle after another. It provided some laughs and later Claire said, "You know that water bottle thing. That was a good idea." Yet this morning I could see that the moment had been forever dinged by DS, Ipods, and Wiis.

Claire reflected my past and I saw in her that same sort of feeling of not blaming her parents for a lack of fancy gifts but still having that understanding of how kids think and feel. While we still have a couple of small gifts left to give her for our family party tonight, it seems a bit anti-climatic. Claire will enjoy them, be appreciative, and happy, yet something will be different. The look that passed between us linked us momentarily so that no words were needed, understanding simply flowed. And as I watched her run down to the bus, seemingly older, I could only hope that Claire will be able to hang on to the feeling of her birthdays and holidays in this never ending world of keeping up with Dick and Jane.

Attorney in Training

Since Claire has been little Stuart and I have said to each other that Claire is going to grow up and be an attorney. Her negotiation and reason skills forever keep us on our toes. As she gets older she becomes more determined to prove her reasoning is flawless. It only takes living with her for a day or two to realize that Harvard Law may be her destiny.

The other day Claire came home from school upset about Will. (Yes, Kissing Will). Apparently Will told Claire she talked mean and then went on to list kids in the various second grade who think Claire is mean too.

I was shocked and concerned, but Claire seemed only irritated, not depressed. I asked her if she was ok. She replied, "Yeah mom. And do you know why? Because I don't even talk to most of those kids that Will listed because they aren't even in my class so if I don't talk to them, how is it possible that I talk mean to them? It is impossible. So he's wrong about that. Plus, I just asked him, "If that's true, then why do I have so many friends?" He didn't have an answer, so I know I'm right."

Part of me was proud that Claire could stand and hold her own. The other part was the practical parent that inquired if her daughter maybe had used a rude tone with Will and hurt his feelings. "Well I don't think so mom. I think he's just mad because I don't want to kiss him or be his girlfriend." (I couldn't help but smile at how she drew out the word girlfriend.) "And mom," Claire continued, "I am always the nicest to Will because he's sort of sensitive. So I know it's not that. I think he's just mad at me and making it up."

The problem with writing this story is that I lack the ability to paint the scene. It wasn't just the words, but the delivery. The drawn out words. The emphasis on the word impossible. Her ability to never break eye contact with me, her jury. And so while at the beginning I was very open and concerned about both sides of the story, by the end I was believing that Will was retaliating to Claire's lack of interest in him. The jury came back with its verdict. On the count of mistreating Claire in the 1st degree: guilty.

The following day we had separated the kids after a typical squabble between them. Claire sat in the blue arm chair, bouncing up and down unable to wait her turn to speak. Stuart and I became the judges, trying to determine how to solve the issue. Claire interjected her objections loudly and frequently until silenced by the judges. Finally, when it was her turn to speak, I couldn't help but laugh as Claire actually said, "I have evidence of this matter! I have evidence!" And so the law terms begin. Claire presented her evidence and it was determined that her younger brother had perhaps been hogging the right end of the purple couch closest to the TV and that it might be fair to let Claire have that end for awhile. And while Claire may have proved her point the judges pointed out that in their courtroom life isn't always fair and fighting over fairness will not always end in a favorable verdict.

And so we continue to watch our budding attorney grow. There are days her skills are maddening, and no, I don't mean mad skillz, I mean the kind of abilities that can make you want to pull your hair out when she spits out verbatim something you said but when you repeated it later it wasn't exactly what you had said before. Or helping her understand that justice is not always delivered. Or when she tries to become the one to rule the roost with her reasoning. Yet most of the time it is fascinating. Especially since we don't tell her we think she's bound for law school some day. I'm not even sure she knows what law is. So for now we just watch our Judge ClaireBear walk through life fighting for justice whenever she can.

Kisses and Crushes

While I'm eating my Chicken Chili, I listen as Claire tells me about the Presidential Fitness tests they had in P.E. As I listened about her amazing number of push ups and sit-ups, and her disappointment in her 1/2 mile run, my mind started to drift just a bit as I enjoyed the well flavored juicy chunks of chicken in my soup.

Then just as I was draining my bowl I hear Claire say, "Oh, mom, guess what? Will wants to kiss me!" As chili sprayed from my mouth due to my astonishment I said, "WHAT?" I tried to quickly recover and told myself, "Be cool, be cool, you want the details, you want her to talk, be cool." So with as much dignity as a mom can have with soup on her face I said, "Do you mean Will from your class?"

"Yes. He really wants to kiss me."

Suddenly I'm very grateful that I volunteer a lot. I know all the kids. I know Will. I already have my opinion formed.

I asked Claire how she knew Will wanted to kiss her and she said, "Well the other day he was telling people at the table that he liked me, like a girlfriend. Then today he told me he wanted to kiss me."

"Well did you kiss him?"

"Eeww! NO! I told him I was never kissing him. Then he said, 'Well I'm not checking you off my list until I do.' And I said to him, 'well what if I move?' and he said, 'well my dad is the chief of spies, so we can find you.'"

Claire then busted up and said, "Can you believe that? He actually said they were the chief of spies! That's crazy!"

"Yeah, that's pretty funny," I said. And inside I'm thinking "Phew. My girl has it under control."

Claire, in her annoyed voice, says, "Well and then I got caught talking to Will and I got in trouble because I was talking, but he's the one that started the conversation. But if we keep talking then Mrs. Kirn has to separate us."

"Well maybe you should just keep talking." I said.

Claire just stares at me as if I've gone a bit loco.

At this point Jeremiah says, "Why does Will want to kiss you?"

"Because he likes me. But you don't kiss on the lips until your like 16."

Then Jeremiah, is his most concerned/depressed voice on the verge of tears said, "You mean I have to kiss on the LIPS when I'm 16?!"

That was too much and I snorted trying to keep my laughter under control. We then had a talk about lip kissing, affection, and dating. Jeremiah was relieved and Claire seemed intrigued. I told her I was glad she chose not to kiss Will. To which Claire said, "Yeah, and anyway he's 9! I'm just 7. But when I'm 16 I bet all the boys like me because of my cute smile."

Jeremiah thought that was hilarious and I relaxed as I told myself Claire wasn't interested in boys, a boy was just interested in her.

I then stood up to go to the sink when Claire leans forward and with this giggly little grin says, "But Mom, I really like Jacob..." And I'm grateful I have no soup left to spray all over the place again.

Flashing Lights

In my 15+ years of driving I have never been pulled over by a cop. I have always wondered what it would be like. Would I be nervous? Would I cry? Would I try and explain myself? Then it happened. I got pulled over. Just like that. And it was sort of anti-climatic.

I wasn't nervous, just curious really to see why I was getting pulled over. I knew I hadn't been speeding. I didn't cry. I did try to explain myself a little bit and stopped myself because I realized that the cop was smiling. He'd heard all this before from the hundreds of people he'd pulled over. Either that or he was trying not to laugh as I yanked and tugged at my driver's license that refused to budged. "Can I help you with that?" the officer asked. "Be my guest." I replied. It was my turn to smile as not even he could get it out. "That thing is really wedged in there." He remarked. At least it made me look less idiotic.

"The reason I pulled you over," said the officer, "is because your passenger side headlight is out." "Oh, " I said. "Well that's good because I didn't think I was speeding." Ok, so now I'm starting to look idiotic again--good that my head light is out?! He smiled and said, "No, no you weren't speeding, just the headlight is out." I found that to be rather odd since I had just left a friend's house and my headlights were both on. I know because I had to go back inside for my purse and my car was running. So in the 5 minutes it took to get from her house to the point of getting pulled over, the headlight blew out and there happened to be a cop there to spot it. And of course, he's writing me a ticket for it. "Well," I thought, fully irritated, "I can't seem to catch a break."

But actually, I did. I just wouldn't know it until later. The officer said I had 10 days to get the light fixed and return to the police station. If I did, the ticket would be taken away and I could resume my ticket free claims. The next day I dropped all my plans and took the car to the Honda dealership. I was determined to be ticket free.

When I pulled in I explained what I needed and he said sure. Then he looked at my car and said, "What you really need are 4 new tires. Yours are really bad." "Really bad?" I asked. "Yes, really bad." I sat in the waiting room with my kids and soon got the report. I needed new break pads and 4 new tires. Apparently my tread gage was 2/32 and I was down to 2 mm on my pads. Yikes. Then he gave me the estimate. Double yikes with eye balls popping out of their sockets. $650 for tires, $145 for break pads, $25 for headlight, $30 for oil change. That's a lot more to pay than the $25 repair I thought I was getting.

After debating with my husband we decided to do the break pads, head light, and oil change. We'd try to wait until March to get new tires. The Honda man was very polite and helpful. He even knocked off $4 from the oil change and $15 for the breaks. He did tell me in his nicest serious voice that I should in no way take my car to Wisconsin on those tires.

Well I did take my car to the police station on those tires. We made it and the car didn't see like its wheels were about to fall off. I relaxed. I showed the police man my light was fixed and he took my ticket. Life had returned to normal.

Then on Saturday I got in the car to take Claire to practice when I noticed a chunk of one of my tires was gone. The tire was still inflated but somehow I knew, really knew, the tires couldn't wait. So I dropped Claire off, returned home, and started researching. Finally I found Gary at Firestone who said I could get 4 tires plus labor for $415. I drove down and met Gary. An elderly gentleman wearing science experiment type glasses, Gary gave me the run down on tires. He showed me different ones and what they did. I still didn't really understand but I was grateful for him trying to explain it to me.

He asked to see my tires. I happily took him outside and showed him. "These tires are really bad!" Gary exclaimed. "Why this tire is cracking! You shouldn't be driving on these tires. You really need new tires." "That's why I'm here." I replied sheepishly. I felt like I was being scolded for not getting new tires sooner. Of course I should have inspected them, I just never thought about it. Gary and I walked back in the store and we got the process rolling. I walked over to Schnucks and grocery shopped while they put on my new tires.

When I came back they were just finishing and Gary said, "You're gonna be glad for those new tires. They're callin' for snow on Sunday." I laughed and said, "Yeah, but not as much snow as they might have in Wisconsin when I go." Gary was surprised and asked, "Oh you did not want to go to Wisconsin on those other tires. They were waiting to go and you have no traction at all." I felt scolded again and wanted to say, "I wasn't going to." but of course that's exactly what I had been planning to do. Had my light not gone out and the cop hadn't pulled me over, I would never have thought about my tires being an issue. I cringe a bit to think of the "what-could-have-happened-scenarios."

I realized that despite the hassle of coughing up the money, I indeed had caught a break. Better to fork over hundreds of dollars than to be in a wreck. So the next time I see some flashing lights in my rear view mirror I'm not going to be irritated, I'm going to simply wonder what blessing those swirling colors have in store for me.